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No, this movie is not about...

Get me right. It's so easy to be misunderstood.

This is no exploitation movie,

which encourages all kinds of desires under the white coat of science.

This movie is much more.

The history of our desires.

How they were scientifically passed on.

Only the moralist would ask today:

What has become of us?

The scientist asks: where did we come from?

And because it is important to know where we came from,

this movie is necessarily necessary.

Uncountable sexes have

worked on it's realization.

Because it takes place in the Age of Enlightenment,

namely in the 18th century,

it is not an enlightenment film.

Man is the measure of all things

says...

No, not Socrates...

But the measure of man is

love.

The nightingale.

Come, come, come, my loveliest birdie,

so I don't forget to love.

We don't, don't, don't want to be the laziest.

We do it often, we do it often, we love doing it.

Come, My Loveliest Birdie...

A sparrow.

Yes.

A common sparrow.

It started with him.

The sparrow was the symbol of love.

Back then for our great-great-great- great-great-grandparents, the Teutons.

A gray symbol for a gray everyday life.

Because the women had to work and the men had a high moral understanding of doing nothing.

They were only busy at drinking and playing dice.

But this information is from the Roman gossip columnist Tacitus.

They lived in shielded moral purity, not to be lured

by plays, no excitation by banquets.

Their best move that made every Roman man and woman melt

was their chastity.

Amazing, isn't it?

And there he is: our great-great-great-great-great- grandfather.

Doesn't he look marvelous?

The Kneipp-sandals from W�rishofen, the fancy underwear

the leather overhang and the cuirassierian headdress

and the casual way he is carrying his spear. Chic.

He walks to the willow of his neighbor

and meets the daughter of Sig Brand at the spring.

She is called by the modern name Hildelei� and is envied because of this.

Hildelei�.

I only thought of you during the weapon festival.

You're rough,

and you're not the strongest by any means.

Just recently I won five wrestling matches.

Against whom?

Against Gunter, Giselherr, Ernut, Eckeleich und Sindwich.

Oh, those stupid monkeys.

Tell me, when you sit with Zio and Dona in Valhalla one day and

feast at the eternal pork roast,

may I sit as a sparrow in the pocket of your skirt?

My God, it hits our great-great-great-great-great- grandfather.

The sparrow. This is a real profession of love.

Well then...

Then...

Then I tell you now that I want you to be my wife

and that both of our lives will be united.

Slow down young man. Easier said than done.

Don't underestimate our great-great-great- great-great- grandmothers,

and the girl always belongs to he who conquers her.

This took a little time. 1 hour, 2 hours, 5 hours, 1 day...

and sometimes the whole night.

This vivacious approach may not hide the fact

that the customs of the Teutons were unspeakably strict.

Whoever caressed the hand of a married woman in a dishonorable manner

was punished with a penance of 15 head of cattle.

For caressing the breasts it was at least 45.

What nowadays happens within two hours in a movie

couldn't be paid for by the whole of the united Teuton tribes.

Marriage was relatively easy then.

Because the law of custom said:

If a man and a woman agree that they want

to lay next to each other, they are husband and wife when they get up again.

Today they still live so abstinently and so morally.

Then one day the messengers of a new morality appeared.

They came directly out of the Roman sink of iniquity,

but they didn't come full of humility. Oh no.

They came with a sparkling eye, with torch and sword

and entered the cabins under the beds.

What shall your marriage be? An union?

A contract? A natural get-together?

An execution through physical union?

I tell you, if you think this way ...

Marriage is a sacrament.

Something mental. Spiritual.

The sexual act is bestial, disgusting, and just a necessary evil.

That was it. Suddenly all the innocence was gone.

Twilight of the Gods.

One was afraid.

The world was upside-down and no one could explain why.

Now in all corners sat the demons of the new religion.

But luckily the Teutons still had a pagan antidote against demons and devils.

The holy nudity. And our great-grandfathers did one more thing.

They turned in every direction and broke wind against the ghosts.

But it was useless.

The friars remained the winners.

They castrated the pagans symbols, logged the holy trees

and depopulated the lakeside.

A new spirit wakes over the water.

From now on it was written everywhere: no nude bathing.

Our great-great-great-great-great-grandparents were afraid of hell, the devil, and purgatory.

But our great-great-great-great-great- grandmothers became, according to

the new opinion, vessels of sin.

Mulier Taceat. That women must keep quiet was preached by the new lords.

Fine. The woman kept quiet.

She kept quiet for centuries.

But when again she opened her mouth her revenge was terrible.

And thereby on the surface it became better for our ladies.

There were beautifully decorated rooms, comfortable chairs,

and even eiderdowns.

In the shadows of these castles one of the most strange flowers in the story of love was blooming.

The courtly love.

How did it get this way? Very easy.

An idea grabbed the people of the Western world.

The idea of crusades to the Holy Land.

Finally a concrete thing for the loving God.

Even if one doesn't understand much,

this language was understood immediately.

The godly knight left dinner,

put on the armor,

saddled his horse,

robbed the piggy bank,

and gave his wife a last kiss.

With a freshly sewn cross on his back he struggled onto the horse.

Then he rode off towards endless adventures.

Towards the wounds, swords, and the 70,000 bugs.

The noble woman was suddenly all alone.

That was breathtaking

and instantly she made the best of it.

She learned to powder.

Therefore she used cornstarch.

Oh, there you are.

So, watch out.

I want you to cut down here

Set the cut here. Understood?

And then it happened.

One was ready for guests to be invited for lime blossom tea.

Knight Kuno of Hohenebersberg

was one of those who quit the crusades.

They made profit according to the motto 'make love not war',

because they knew which castle was without a man.

Certain merchants also knew this.

...Venetian glass my dear ladies.

Fresh out of the south. A cheap leftover, a little off-color, but highly enjoyable.

Pali, Parabiki Pali! Delicious things from Venice!

And therefore, dear lady, his Eminence, our Reverend, the Bishop decided,

that the use of these artificial privates, which were offered just recently

by shameless merchants from Florence and Venice are a vitiation

of the holy sacrament of the marriage,

and must be seen as the Devil's work from now on.

You bring me amazing news, dear clergyman.

Till now I didn't even know that it was possible to

change the beloved one against such magic.

Well, now you know,

and I hope that you will always find refuge in prayer

and not in the devil's artificiality.

Pali, Parabiki Pali! Delicious things from Venice!

If you feel the urge in a terrible way, just call me to stand by you.

There are already enough to stand by me, dear padre.

Welcome cousin Kuno. Oh.

Ed venus in tucas in tentationem sed libera nos a malo.

Well, that was really, no, that was really not necessary.

Despite -- or let's say because of this -- castle life became lively.

The lords of this age soon had the right idea: music.

Music makes one optimistic. A golden age of tinkling started.

Every lord of a castle had his fans, with a mish-mash of symbolic Maria lyrics,

hits, and mirthful Altheidelberg erotic ballads, they sing about their idols.

It jumps, jumps, jumps youthfully in me.

It jumps, jumps, jumps youthfully in me. In me.

Let us kiss, let us joke, my dear, joke and kiss with me.

Laugh and kiss, laugh and joke...

Single women are inventive.

They invented a new party game.

A hugely exciting game: Who will it be today?

The one, to whom she threw the glove or the one to whom she blew.

The one she gave the little shoe,

or the one whose appetite she assuaged with cakes.

No, no, no, no.

For sure it is this one. The one who accompanies her to the bath.

The poor guy

in pain he had to see her how God created her

and if she was good-looking

she had to be so in the following way:

With thin ankles and long legs

with not too big, rather small breasts

which must be bare and round like paradise apples,

with long neck, small oval ears,

with swelling pout,

narrow white teeth,

with a sharp pink tongue,

slim, but not skinny or flat,

the hips swaying, the arms full

the fingers gentle and thin,

with pink nails.

Oh yes, he had to crave.

He wasn't allowed to stay over night.

Finally the noble count Heinreich has the privilege to

lead the lady into the bedroom.

An epistle, noble lady.

Just released. The newest.

Commodo efficatur

ut feminat coitus tulcitudinem senti hat.

How to achieve it

so that the woman feels the

sweetness of intercourse.

Femina est omnis divisa in partes tres.

You're astonished?

It is proven that such epistles already existed half a millennium ago.

Even Count Heinrich bitterly experienced that

the popular science of sex education

doesn't prevent a lady from falling asleep.

Love mania was a common phenomenon then.

Cousin Kuno covered himself in wolfskin and

poured out his woes.

The dogs of the castle, which knew nothing of courtly love,

misunderstood the crying.

Knight Kuno came back down to earth

when the man of the house returned.

No, thanks.

There he was standing.

The worn-out homecomer.

And if the rumors he heard along the way

are true then singing wasn't

the only thing that was done here.

It's a real vexation, my dear husband. Such a long time without male protection.

Hardly could I resist the tormentors.

You don't need to worry from now on.

You will be well protected

even if I have to leave again.

Well, better not to speak of it.

No time to rest.

The Pope is calling again and emperor Konrad needs his faithful.

Bring the basket.

- It's just for your safety. - That's a...

A masterwork of iron smithery.

Of iron?

One wears it around the crotch in honor of her husband.

- Around the crotch? If it doesn't fit? - It always fits.

You were gone so long. I gained weight.

I made it adjustable. 17 holes.

- It doesn't match the robe. - One wears it underneath.

The chastity belt was made of iron,

was put on from below,

and was lockable with a key.

It was crafted so cleverly, that the woman, after she was bound,

couldn't get rid of it because of the sweet lust.

A small hole allowed her... to pee.

So it was written in an old courtly love chronicle.

Well,

do you feel comfortable?

What am I supposed to do when it rusts?

A bottle of rose oil will prevent this. Goodbye.

The keys, my dear husband, the keys!

You? Cousin Kuno?

I came to be heard by you. Finally.

- There's no lock that can't be opened. - Don't dare it.

How can you accept such a disgrace?

Long live freedom

and the locksmiths' guild!

It's the will of my master.

Who mistrusts you!

And you think one of these keys will fit the lock?

The lock is from Florence.

So are the keys.

Oh, Kuno.

Kuno, what do you have in mind?

It tickles.

More light, it's too dark here.

Oh, Kuno.

Do you still have hope, Kuno?

Of course, till the last key.

Kuno.

Kuno.

The last one.

It's a curse.

One of the evil kind.

No, one of modern technology.

To the plague with this technology!

The plague.

It didn't just take the technology.

It also took the humans.

At once the tinkling stopped.

It became dead silent in the salons and castles.

The plague was all over the Western world.

Actually there was only one bright spot in the 14th century.

One of the most comforting inventions was made: schnapps.

It was invented by a certain Arnaldus von Villa Nova.

Like a joke of world history, Mr. Arnaldus

was a doctor, an apostle of health, and so the name he gave

the brandy makes sense.

Water of life.

Aqua vitae.

Cheers!

We will need this comforter,

because the 14th century became the darkest

and most awkward of German history,

not only because of the plague.

The church took revenge on the age of courtly love

and swung strongly toward restitution of power.

The declared goal was: back to fear.

A wild mysticism took over the Western world.

There were witches and warlocks and possessed humans,

who were said to have had intercourse with the devil.

Doctors, lawyers, and philosophers developed a whole sexual science,

which stated all the details of this intercourse with the devil.

From now on it was said that he or she

or those

and it was put to the young and seductive

because they were preferred by the devil.

A verbal testimony was enough for an arrest.

The inquisitors were bitten by a sexual delirium.

Didn't gentlemen always want to look at girls?

Here they were.

In the nude.

Bare naked.

When the devil approaches a human,

he creates out of air an earthly body,

which he thickens with vapors.

If his victim is a man,

the devil takes the form of a succubus --

one lying beneath.

For a female victim,

he will transform into an incubus --

one lying above.

The devil

has no sperm.

Figment of the imagination? No.

Also of the reality then.

Whoever wanted to escape this darkness went into the woods and drank a mysterious potion

made of thimble belladonna, henbane, rubbed herself with a magic salve and was fucked by the Devil.

It couldn't have been such a great pleasure. The only member that the devil could have had

with special beauty and glory on his body was

horrible, so the tortured said.

It is covered with fish scales.

It is made of iron.

It is a blazing flame.

The witness may come forward.

The fifth main part of the Malleus Maleficarum deals with the art

of stealing manhood.

Franz Margus Bossert

of the house of Bassau.

What do you have to announce, honorable priest?

One day while I was hearing confession,

this young boy came and loudly complained that he had lost his manhood.

I saw for myself although in a disinterested way only.

When the young man took down his clothes and showed me the empty place,

I asked him if he knew of a woman

who could be responsible. He told me he knew one, who is said to

collect manhoods. Tell it my son.

I found her in the nude under a tree at a full moon

with snakes around her neck.

She was brewing something in a bowl. I asked her if she had stolen

my manhood. She nodded and started to laugh. She sat there.

Did you steal my manhood?

It's up there in the nest. Get it.

So I climbed up.

I found many manhoods up there.

They were moving like young birds in the nest.

Since I couldn't find mine at once, I took a bigger one. Then she called.

No, not the big one, that belongs to...

He who claims that all of this is dream and fantasy

denies the awe, which we owe our mother, the Church.

Because the Church punishes no crimes,

unless they are certain and obvious.

He who thinks the Church is wrong

be damned.

Our great-great-grandmother didn't want to be damned.

It was terrible. Very terrible,

but it was very interesting and terribly exciting.

One experienced sensual fantasies, not like mother and grandmother

with reddened cheeks, but shivering and white as a ghost.

The bath is ready.

What followed went as a great cleansing in history.

We know this well enough.

The bathing hysteria broke out in Germany.

It didn't take long and it started babble in all courtyards, castles and town houses.

In tubs and vats. Bathing became a true passion.

It is nowadays comparable to say, "Let's meet at the Caf� Kranzler"...

or at the Franziskaner. That was the latest news. Deals were started

and finished. Old friends were met and new ones found.

No, no, you will sit in the front.

I don't know. I can't find anything sickly in the urine.

The bath-keeper was some kind of quack.

He was on the same level with the executioner and the brothel owner,

but he knew what a bad name can be worth.

The new photo spread, Mr. Rat. Very cheap, only 3 pfennig.

Not that exciting.

Maybe a little powder. The newest. Lytta vesicatoria.

Dried diuretic tea of the Spanish fly.

Real hellish stuff.

Turns a daisy into an oak.

Don't promise too much.

Agnes will deliver what the powder promises.

At which hour does Mr. Rat want our Agnes? We have a large crowd today.

Maybe in half an hour.

I suppose our dean will lose soon. Checkmate!

You're not even 14 years old and already bring shame on your mother.

You lost your virginity at the age of 12!

Oh, shut up. Cheeky girl.

You're taking my men and you even have a husband.

I told you to shut up. Do what you want.

Don't look when...

when I'm in courtly love.

The air was full of erotic and body odors,

but the joy of love was not indecent.

The influence of the Renaissance was felt even in

clerical circles, resulting in a certain natural relaxation.

Where is it written, that it is not allowed for a monk to bathe?

Stop, I know this.

You take a bath and show you don't have any money in your habit.

Come in, brother. Get into the water.

No big business, if only the citizens and the monks are coming.

Recently Emporer Wenzel was with 800 knights in Ulm for a whole week.

The magistrate called for back-up from Augsburg.

By the way 1500 whores arrived in Konstanz.

I talked to our Maray.

She said,

she already earned 800 guilder.

No surprise. You could do

Maray seven days a week, right Agnes?

You get a big mouth with 55 years.

A healthy man takes his potency into the grave.

Don't you know the saying: Once is a promise

twice the way of men,

thrice the aristocrats duty,

four times the women's right.

But the old Greek Solan said,

"Thrice a month is sufficient in a marriage."

Ah, marriage. The old sodomite.

Don't you know what Martin Luther preached?

"Twice a week doesn't harm me or she... and pays the women."

Oh please, Martin Luther isn't even born yet.

What damage does it do if he's right?

Tell me, bath keeper, who is that maiden over there?

- She? - Yes.

That's the niece of the mayor.

She's on visit from Saxony.

Oh boy, the girls from Saxony really got it.

Swedish girls need a lot of talk,

girls from Hesse should be forgotten,

but girls from Saxony are made for doing it.

Hurry, bath keeper, tell her. It will be worth it.

The junker, the junker over there.

My name is Alvin Jobst and I'm the right candidate.

Hanille is my name and I'm here on a visit.

You've got a very nice tub, Mr. Jobst.

Do you want to come in?

Of course.

I'm sorry, I thought it was my foot.

I don't know, I can't find anything sickly.

It's probably this new unknown fever.

What fever?

Certainly you've heard of that Spanish adventurer?

- What adventurer? - Christopher Columbus.

He brought it here from America.

It is called syphilis.

The horror was terrible.

The new disease was worse than the plague

and was almost deadly every time.

The bath houses were closed down,

but other doors, nearly forgotten during the bathing period, opened again.

High indulgences were paid to come clean with God.

Whoever was still afraid was told by Luther,

Whoever dies shall be carried to his grave with farts.

To make the people understand one had to be drastic.

Humanism and Reformation became a talking point,

but only the wise dealt with it.

The people remained stubborn, naive and incredibly sensual

and the more dark the wise acted, the more fun it was

for the middle class to behave rude, uninhibited, and antiquated.

Come my lovely birds. We want, we want, we want...

A remarkable time.

Boisterous poetry, rude portrayals in the fine arts

and at the same time the transition of the mind to Humanism.

- B�rbel? - Yes.

Outside the stakes of the Inquisition were still burning

even in Protestant regions, because the torture chambers

of the Lutherans were not inferior to the Catholic ones.

Inside the rebirth of the senses were celebrated.

The joy of pleasure,

of flawless bodies,

of jewelry, of everything that was considered beautiful, fashionable,

and appreciated then.

They didn't have the cream pots of the Elizabethans,

so pork dripping was used for body care instead.

My beautiful wife, I'm telling you,

has a proud head from Prague,

two swift eyes from France, a swelling mouth from Austria,

two tender hands from Cologne,

and from Brabant two slender loins,

long breasts from the Netherlands,

the bush from Bavaria,

a round ass from Swabia. That's what my dear wife has.

Did you know that 3 hard, 3 soft, 3 short

3 long, 3 red, 3 white, and 3 black things a beautiful woman must own?

The 3 hard are...um...

the two breasts and the ass.

The soft ones are the two hands and the belly,

the short ones are the nose and the two feet,

the long ones are the fingers and the two thighs,

the red ones are the two cheeks and the mouth,

the white ones are the two legs and the neck,

the black ones are the two eyes and...

That's not true, yours is shaved!

Hurry. The Fugger opening is in three hours.

The pork dripping is dabbed off

and the skin powdered just so she is not shining.

Only now come the clothes.

Bottom first.

No, no, it wasn't there then. First

a wrinkled shift, fine woven and almost transparent,

and nothing else.

Then the valuable outer garment with a wide plaid skirt.

All very colourful and very gorgeous.

Fashion demands that the waist is emphasized

and a lot more.

The breasts are very covered.

So

Now, one can put a yardstick on it.

You look beautiful.

Where have you been for so long?

Every time it takes you longer to get dressed.

Where will this lead

with all this frippery?

My beloved husband, we in Germany are truly reasonable.

Helga Prost told me in church today

that there are women in Rome which bought permission from the Pope

to walk in trousers and wear rapiers at their sides.

But this will not happen here.

Today we debated in the council if we shouldn't do it like in Zurich.

Only the dishonest women there are allowed to wear finery without limitations.

Now no honest women want to be mistaken in Zurich.

What's the point? Are we poor?

It's not about the money, it's more about a bad example.

The mayor Feidgundlinger arranged a wedding for his daughter

with 60 tables and 270 guest for 8 days.

Where does the example of such a simple man lead?

Today he can, because he has the money.

Tomorrow others want the money to do it.

That's a screw with no end in sight.

Fine, soon we will go naked.

B�rbel, bring him a handkerchief.

What should I do with this?

- One doesn't blow his nose this way. - How else?

Listen to what the wise Eramus of Rotterdam writes about it.

To blow the nose into his cap or his sleeve is uncouth.

It may be the way of the confectioner to blow the nose into the hand

and to wipe it down the suit by accident.

But to take the excretions of the nose with a handkerchief

by turning away a bit from the other person

is a very decent thing.

And if by accident something falls to the ground

while blowing the nose with two fingers

then one must step on it immediately.

Yes yes, it's okay, but come now.

Patrizia went to the Fugger,

and B�rbel went to where the young people still go today.

To the disco in the suburb.

The dances were adapted in a fine way to the clothes.

It was called 'spinning around' what they are doing here.

And it was very popular because the girls wore nothing below the waist.

The 'knocking down' became popular then.

Of course our B�rbel

was participating in the knocking down,

and because of that she was singing when she came home.

Rosemary and thyme,

is growing in our garden.

Maiden B�rbel is the bride.

Can't wait any longer.

Can't wait any longer.

Rosemary, thyme, parsley and lavender

were the contraceptives at the time,

and B�rbel was trusting in this anti-baby soup.

But look there.

God bless you.

By the way this invention came from Italy

and also became a blessing in Germany.

The anonymity was a very gentle touch of this time.

A lot of misery was prevented. For example in a city like Nuremberg

there was not one child killing in the more than fertile 15th century.

But the convents

came to resemble giant nurseries.

It seemed as if nature as a matter of prudence

had already prepared for the next event.

For the Thirty Years' War.

When this apocalypse was over,

only 8 million of the former 20 million people lived in Germany.

For all citizens to know: In Nuremberg the Frankish county council

establishes the following law. First, it is forbidden to admit mankind

under the age of 60 to the monasteries.

Second, it is allowed for priests and barons if not religious,

or an apprentice, to marry.

Third, it is allowed for every man to marry two woman.

The naked fear was shining out of this law.

But don't worry, the Germans always had a special relationship with

national regulations and they loved and fathered and fathered

and loved as the law ordered.

In 1715, with a chime, the Rococo started.

Like written in Mayers compendium under R.

Ludwig the 15th is the name of the new lord of not only France but also the demolished Germany.

Our Dior, Knigge,

Fanderfelde.

It was a frivolous, a gallant century.

Well

Two dozen little Versaille emerged from Upper Bavaria to Brandenburg

and they resembled the Parisian version as two peas in a pod.

The lords in shining silk bottoms, silk stockings,

patent-leather shoes with a petite �p�e on the side,

and on clean-shaved faces were powder and rouge.

The women wore atlas shoes,

over them curved the giant crinoline skirt. An admirer of

lovely shapes invented the baleen corset and an unknown benefactor

the additional hand.

Can't you control yourself a bit, madam?

My fleas must have bared children.

Alfons, Alfons, Alfons help me. Hurry!

The people had the role of the backstage crew in this costume operetta. Hardworking and devoted.

Every town girl could participate in this operetta.

Beauty opens all doors.

Oh my beloved Franzi.

Bib of cold hearts. Tinder of love.

Golden box of ornament.

Foot pump of sighs.

Blotting paper of grief.

Sandbox of my palm

and wood oil of my pain.

What a beautiful rhyme of yours.

Franzi.

Franzi is not very prudish but strict.

Like many women of her time she was a kind of

half-virgin who mustn't fear the examination of a doctor.

A precursor of petting so to say.

- I don't like you going into the bower. - Oh, mother.

- Not with this hairdresser's assistant. - He's harmless.

Remember the Pompadure, the T�berin

... like in Stuttgart. I will always remember that.

And also our baroness. What was she?

- Daughter of a baker. - You see.

Well, I won't put you to shame if the baron invites me.

To become a baroness... for this intention every principle could be dropped.

By the way this was the morning toilet of the baron.

Bathing was long forgotten.

The finger tips were washed.

The rest was powdered and perfumed

and graciously covered with piled up wigs.

What are you doing Alfons? Ouch!

- What is it? - Just a few lice, baron.

Take the lavender and numb them a bit.

Is madam coming for dinner?

Or is she with her lover?

The baroness already ordered a raw egg.

Ugh! So the marquis is still with her.

It's not the Frenchman.

Maybe the Spaniard.

No, it's monseigneur Hunzinger.

Oh that awful organist.

Recently I watched them secretly.

I don't know what she sees in him.

It is said that he is extremely perverse.

Speaking of perverse. What's new?

The landgrave of Hesse sold 5000 soldiers to America.

That Nujon.

The duchess of Mecklenburg let herself be raped by the Tsar Peter.

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

The duke was allowed to watch.

Lovely.

Augustus the Strong married.

Who is with him now?

His own daughter.

The world is unimaginative.

But this here is the newest from the Marquis de Sade.

They talk about him.

This is heavier than the Bible.

I marked the special places.

- Which costume, monsieur? - The deep blue one.

Blu Moir.

All dirt green or flea belly blue.

Oh, madame.

You look tired,

but not less lovely.

Which was perhaps down to the fact that the nights are getting shorter.

Too bad that you are tired today. I wanted to invite you to a pastoral.

Alfons, the pinch. For you to liven up.

Snuffing is a real child of the Rococo.

There was an almost unbelievable coquetry,

gallantry, and dimunition of life.

Everything and everyone was prepared for an everlasting feast.

Great.

Real great.

Monsieur.

If you keep on drinking so much you won't make a sting tonight.

Don't worry, madame. As always I will report to you in detail afterwards.

This would be something new.

Normally I'm the one who's reporting.

Alfons, when everyone is sitting later, then...

I know. The water.

And after the water...

Bye for now,

my child.

What's with them?

The duke of Bistron and his wife.

- And the mistress? - Discarded.

Why? Is he ruined?

No, impotent.

So what is his wife doing with him?

She's faithful to him.

How depressing, speaking of... the chair. Fast!

The fact that there were bathrooms in Germany

was forgotten by the architects. Portable

devices were used and servants were toting such seats after

their masters from hall to hall. For example, Listelotte Palatinate reported

that the Dofaun preferred to dine in his shitting chair.

The skirt.

Higher.

Still higher.

Great.

The skirt.

Lift it up. The whole skirt.

Well, loving was short, nervous, and often without success.

But even in a sober state the act of love had an almost cute brevity.

Already finished?

He hasn't even started. He's...

drunk. Oh you sweet little lamb. What now?

Come, put down your dress.

Come to me.

Come on.

Sex education was in the Age of Enlightenment a big topic.

There were no magazines, but stage plays.

One of them was Millo's School of Women, which was meaningfully also called

Ladies' Philosophy, and it included almost everything a young girl needed to know.

A sample?

Get in.

Well, please.

Are you still a virgin?

This can be fixed. Maybe if our friend becomes conscious again.

Oh, is he also drunk?

No, no, he always faints afterwards. Come nearer.

Tell me

what do you know about love?

Oh, I have to excuse myself for being so inexperienced.

So you don't know what a man is doing with you if he wants to do it?

Well, I have a faint idea.

I will tell you. What do you want to know?

What is a man doing if he comes near you?

Well, it depends.

For example, he lies lengthwise next to me

and touches my nipples.

I notice how aroused he becomes and he says, "Honey, I must sleep now."

But he puts a hand on my body. If the shirt prevents him

he lifts it up.

Sometimes he touches my butt cheeks and...

Yes, I know.

Then he removes the sheet and the blanket to look at me.

With a candle in his hand he looks closely at me everywhere. Finally...

To love was no longer need but fashion.

It was courteous, social prestige.

A secret love was useless.

...calls me his one and only...

The emblem of manhood also lost of importance

and so did the geometric center of the female body.

Eyes, breast, mouth, hands.

The attention and talk was focused on these.

I leave it up to you to think about it.

Sometimes when he is in a hurry...

This is always a special pleasure. Do you understand?

I'm disgusted of this century! The high spark of light is burned down!

Instead there is fake fire which doesn't light one pipe of tobacco.

There they are crawling on the club of Hercules

and studying what this thing is that leads to his testicles.

A hectic professor puts a vial of ammonia solution under the nose

and reads a council about power.

Heart faints when a boy is born.

Yuck, yuck for this century of eunuchs.

Put me in front of an army of guys like myself and Germany shall become a republic

which make Rome and Sparta look like a convent.

Schiller wrote this in 1787,

and it didn't take long until the courtly society broke through the fragile

wormy floor and right onto the bayonets of the mob in France.

We in Germany did it differently. We took off our wigs and wrote each other

certificates that one was never involved.

We also had no bayonets, but a stable civil mental basis.

Without any bloody stopovers Germany slided into the hearty century.

Biedermeier.

Germany: A Winter's Tale was it melancholily called by Heine.

Because for him it was completely incomprehensible how such strong impulses and

such great flights of ideas could be improved so much by the revolutionary Schiller.

Fine, instead one was hearty, coy,

one was moved to tears.

And yes, they were of value again and everyone who was wearing them

could be described: He's no longer a human of the cynical Rococo.

The Rococo never cried.

The only nude in this buttoned up time was sitting and freezing on a rock.

I don't know what it's supposed to mean

that I'm so sad.

But we know, madam.

Because of the bedroom, the beds were really for sleeping only.

But it must be given credit that this century was intellectually more active.

Invented was photography,

the steam train,

the car,

the penny farthing, the airplane,

the Olympic games,

human dignity, the proletariat,

and finally ourselves.

A century of hardworking men, a century of misunderstood women,

and a century of the beating hearts of young girls.

Our great grandmother is 18 years old, is now called Elisabeth Charlotte

and is experiencing her first ball.

Oh father, I can't tell you how beautiful the world is for me.

No, no.

I thank you for such kindness, father. I'm very excited.

It doesn't show.

I know, but I'm a weak girl who never wants to

part with you and mother. I'm saying this today, because...

...that step will come soon.

Of course, this is the law of nature. One day you will meet the man you will belong to.

A cruel word, father.

Henriette, I hope you spoke with Elisabeth about certain intimate things.

Mother did, but I think all of this is very terrible.

With a man, when he...

Enough child, you don't need to say it. It's not terrible at all.

I think mother and I gave you an opposite example.

It's the fulfillment.

These are things, Elisabeth, of which you shouldn't explore.

The principle and the detail, and you should

only guess the emotional side.

One can't know in life how a marriage proceeds, same with a conversation.

A conversation can't go wrong if it is done properly with

sympathy, tactfulness, discretion and politeness.

By the way who is that young man over there, talking to our Fontane?

I'm very grateful to you, please excuse me.

May I ask for this dance? Thanks.

I'm very grateful to Mr. Fontane for my invitation.

So I can take part in another of these popular private dances,

before I go back home to Danzig.

Oh, you are at home in our beautiful amber casket.

Why amber?

The amber coast is not far from Danzig.

Really? Well, I don't like amber, but I love Danzig.

- How nice, do you know it well? - No, not at all.

So tell me please. How can you love something you don't know?

Why not? Please excuse me.

I just wanted to make your day.

- I think you're very much in love. - I'm just a little confused.

My father used to say, that a conversation like a marriage needs

to be done in a polite and clear manner.

- You love your father very much. - I admire him.

And you can talk about such things. About love, marriage, eroticism.

Oh, not at all.

I just thought that some things are common here, which are impossible at our place.

What do you think of us?

I wanted to know how it looks inside the head of

such a protected, lovely lady concerning this topic.

Blurry. Look how honest I am. Is it awful?

It's beautiful. I mean being honest without losing charm.

Do you think I can pay your mother a courtesy visit?

Ask her. She's next to Mr. Fontane.

She will ask him for a signal.

Of course, one needs to be reasonable, right?

Madame, sometimes I wish I were an actor.

Then I could do whatever I want and couldn't lose my face.

Do you understand?

I'd love to say yes, but I'm afraid this would be most harmless.

I may never become an actor.

I admire the volte, especially the volte scream.

Oh please, whoever screams like that?

Brings screaming more luck than silence.

The people from the theatre are visibly more happy than we are.

They love more than we do.

There's not the slightest proof of this.

To love somebody dearly and full of trust and admiration is stronger

than fighting twice every year over another man and behaving in a shameless manner.

Dearest, lovely Elisabeth Charlotte,

do you even know what love is?

I can't know more than this.

For me love is connected with purpose and not with desire.

Since I have the desire to love, I'll get around to love.

My father would never allow me to marry an unworthy man.

This sounds as if you expect love as a result of marriage.

But you must love the man before you get engaged, right?

Am I talking to a modern and daring woman when I tell you that you must desire him

before you respect him as your husband and bread-earner.

Do you understand? Desire with the senses.

I know this word is not in the books. You men keep it on your lips and wish it.

Well, then take care that it happens.

Oh God, what are we talking about?

I didn't desire my father and yet I love him now.

Is it foolish what I said?

Let us girls have our dreams.

We promise to want to love.

I want many children.

Shall we go to the buffet?

I always get very hungry when I'm excited.

Are you?

Yes, but I don't want it to be noticed. Do you notice it?

Not at all. You look lovely.

How nice, that you're not one of these hypermodern emancipated women.

What? Ah, I understand, these are the women who wear a graduation cap

instead of all the four children, right? What do these women want?

To be equal.

In what?

- In occupation, in work. - How strange.

Then these women wish to be in the same situation like

the poor, poor working women.

How brilliant, but the emancipated woman also wants

the total equal rights relating to respect.

I don't understand this at all.

So far I had the feeling that more respect was shown to women than men.

There must be something wrong. Oh, I'll leave this

to the men. I'm really a weak girl.

Try one of these buns. They're good.

No, thanks. I'm satisfied. I don't want to get an "enfant bedaine".

But such a paunch looks very noble.

That really is strange enough. Let there be corpulent men around me.

They're easier to handle.

There's nothing more beautiful than a handsome man.

I row a lot.

Oh, you must be strong.

Well, but where to put this strength?

With so much honourable captivity valves were needed.

So for the men the stag party and men's joke were invented.

At the regulars' table it got dirty like hell.

"Strange, he's also not outside," she said to Witz, "Better we turn on the light."

- You shall sleep. - I can't.

At home in the illuminated bedroom one tried to keep one's composure.

One went also with composure to bed.

There a woman was waiting not daring to say she doesn't care about composure.

That's why she felt misunderstood.

The stork brought all the many, nice children of this era.

One had to do it.

- Karl Heinrich? - Yes my dear?

What is an orgy?

An orgy...?

- Elisabeth, please. - Sorry.

Karl, please. The orgy.

An orgy...

That's...

...a big dirtiness, gentlemen. I call upon your officer's honor.

Lieutenant Jennewein.

Do you confess to having a orgy

with this Sophie Lurmann?

- I confess. - I confess.

I confess everything.

Sophie Lurmann.

Is it proved, that you... with the lieutenants... I mean

Of course you know what I mean.

I confess indecent acts with these lieutenants letting...

being...

happened.

Yes, so in the name of the Emperor

the district court convicts the responsible editor

for reporting about the moral misconduct of the accused in the Bauzner newspaper,

for utterances which insult the public moral feeling to six months in prison.

That's strange.

The protagonists were discharged and the editors were punished.

My dear Elisabeth Charlotte. For the judge it made sense

to protect the citizens, which want to stay unspoilt and pristine,

from the violent touch of these things.

I don't understand this.

You will learn to understand, my child.

Such a state of mind is the only protection

against the imminent catastrophe.

It couldn't be stopped.

When the walls were breaking in 1918, it flowed from the inside to the outside.

The so-far modest Germany had a lot of catching-up to do

Politically and erotically.

One was prudish to excess. Now the pendulum swings to the other side.

This new era seemed to tumble over, reeling of freedom.

In the cinema one could see things never seen before.

Eroticism became an industry.

Every evening the prices were written

like stock lists at the Berlin zoo.

Prices claimed in detail by boys and school girls.

The sexual life of the children was eagerly discussed in all newspapers

and in the hospitals.

One was nicro-erotic.

Pale, dark-rimmed like a sympathy card.

Only the negative was worth experiencing, only the sick was interesting.

No-hopers were smoking cigarettes with tongue-wet filters.

Tired, exhausted ladies smoked mysterious, dangerous cigarettes out of long black holders.

Transvestites were also sometimes smoking.

No one finds the way here.

The real are false, the false are real.

Sleep with yourself, I don't care.

And sleep with thistle, finch, and starling and Brems' whole flock of birds.

It's all one to me. Signed Erich K�stner.

A man that appeals to me

must be the most stupid, must be the most retarded, must be the

most stupid of the world, and if I have this man

and if I have this man then I won't even look at him at daylight.

Don't you know something new for me, something crazy, really perverse.

Don't you know something new for me, something crazy, really perverse.

Sung by Hilde Hildebrand. At the end of the twenties

one started to laugh about the twenties.

Don't you have anything new for me? Do we really need something?

Well, history gave Adolf Hitler to us.

And he knew something new for the German damsel.

Something crazy, really perverse. He let them be examined.

Marriage is no longer self-purpose.

It shall only serve the great goal of reproducing and conserving the species and race.

It's in the interest of the nation, that the most beautiful bodies must

help give new beauty to the people.

Not in the honorable philistine or in the virtuous old maid does the ideal exist,

but in the defiant embodiment of male strength and in women who

give birth to men.

It took only 1000 years. The prolific, down-to-earth,

racial high-value heroin with the holy water-colored eyes

served Germany as "Tr�mmerfrau". Awful, isn't it?

But like plucked chickens they emerged out of the ashes

and started a new era.

The era of wonders. The first wonder was to survive.

Good night, Anton.

The second wonder was the economic miracle.

In the meantime one became a democrat, had read his Brecht

and lived according to the doctrine: first the food.

Rings were no longer under the eyes, but on the finger.

Good night, Anton.

Good night Emma. 32, 34...

One day they woke up,

they sent the milk and newest comic strips into

the children's room, but it was locked.

Yes, all the shaking was no good.

It stayed closed.

And the surprised parents from the efficient, hard-working,

and busy generation witnessed their third wonder.

The wonder of love.

They didn't experience it themselves

but through their own flesh and blood.

The youth were loving.

Look there.

Somehow on their own they discovered sexuality.

The amazement of the adults was enormous.

Sex? What is that?

Eva,

can you bring me a scissor?

One doesn't need to ask long. We got it fresh.

Fresh everywhere. The wonder of sex education from the knee

up to the adrenal. The helpers were ready,

and where there had been cooking recipes and paper patterns now something

new was there. Sexual awareness-raising.

Sexual grammar for the erotic students of a second-rate school.

And in wonderment one was told that one knew almost nothing of love.

This had to be caught up.

One was always there. The recipe Casanova, the invisible

whisperer with the sexual handbook and the hands-on mentality. Take...

You should be ready for a possible sexual encounter every evening.

Take a bath and most of all

never show yourself to your partner with curlers.

Don't forget the daily smell killer.

And adjust the scents carefully on another.

Swallow Beate Uhse...I mean candy in fact

half and hour before the possible intercourse

and then

we try a headstand.

About 10 minutes.

It stimulates the blood flow in the whole gland system.

Tell me, did you take a pill?

Yes, yes, one takes it half an hour before.

How long for the headstand?

10 minutes, like required.

And how many minutes have passed?

About 5.

Are you sure it takes 10 minutes?

Oh, leave me alone. After the headstand we have to wait another 20 minutes.

Another 20 minutes? Why didn't you take the pill earlier?

I don't need it with the other girl.

You dare saying this to me in my own bedroom?

Let the lights burn in your bedrooms,

maybe you have to say something to each other.

That's what the sexologist says.

Pelvic base tense. Relax.

Tense.

- Harmony of the soul. - Relax.

Part of this harmony is, that one saw the same movie,

read the same magazine, listened to the same record.

And now please.

Good, good.

Was something wrong? Should I have done it differently?

I don't know.

Something is wrong.

What is it? Da Capo.

Love sounds with moaning effects. 33 RPM. Longplay.

The erogenous zones of the woman are behind the ears,

the neck,

and the nipples.

Inside the thighs.

No tickling please.

The erogenous zones of the man are below the...

We know, we know.

And our hero knows it too.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what it is.

Maybe...

Maybe erection depression.

No.

For sure not. More a psychogenic distortion.

Yes, it exists. The psychogram is wrong.

To slow effleurage, to early detumescence and so on and so on. We know.

Rubbish! We know nothing.

Only the scientists know, the sexologist, the psychologist. They say

2 out of 5 men are impotent nowadays and this is not a question of age.

30% of the women don't know how an orgasm feels, they say.

The waiting rooms of the mind doctors are more than full. The university institutes

spread questionnaires. Damn it, one wants to know

what is wrong and why it is wrong.

Have you ever seen a naked man?

If yes how old, how naked, and how big.

Did you ever have a sexual encounter?

If yes, alone? With many? With animals?

Double-check your answers.

Do you like to repair doorknobs?

Have you ever dreamed of a green hatbox?

So what is it?

One moment.

We'll know soon.

In the labs movie cameras are used to retain

the human lust reactions in every detail.

Our lovely unknown from the lab, how a mocker called her.

She donates lust like other donate blood.

But not watched by sensual dreamers but of white-coated scientists.

But who wants to doubt the seriousness of white coats?

How gloriously unscientific our great-great-great-great-grandfathers were

while watching the public baths.

She should have taken off her panties.

We really shouldn't be surprised, if this individual enjoyment

becomes the ideal, how our future relationships will be judged.

Sexual tautological nonsense.

A priori, dear colleague,

not to deepen the gap

between the actual sex behavior

and the anachronistic customs and rules. And that's what it does.

What we need is a sexual shock.

Take fresh cells, dear colleague.

More scientific severity, gentlemen. It won't work.

Not so.

Well.

What happened to this sex?

Which according to its apostles should make a used up civilization fruitful again.

A journey to new shores.

Sexual revolution.

April fool! As soon as the revolution really started

it turned into manufacture. Sexual democracy.

Consumption sex, ideological sex, retort sex.

What all to participate in?

As a scientist,

these are superb times.

Getting really among the flesh.

Don't you think so too?

Anyway it is hard to believe.

Anyway there are still people asking,

Don't you have something new for me, something crazy,

Really perverse?

If you ask me. I don't know.

What else should come?

Or do you know something? Something new?

Then write us.

A postcard is enough.

Password:

Birdie.

Come, come, come, my loveliest birdie

so I don't forget to love.

We don't, don't, don't want to be the laziest.

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