Original subtitles

Hello! Thank you so much for coming. Oh, my goodness.

I am a drag queen,

and I'm buying my first house in palm springs.

-Where's the house at? -I don't know.

Good fences make good neighbors.

It's going to be our vacation home.

A party property, basically.

A place to have fun.

Anthony: Big shower.

You could fit a whole football team in there.

We could charge a cover.

The go-go boy is going to bang his head on this hood.

That's not what an island is for.

Anthony: Willam is a tough customer.

He's very hard to please.

It looks like bad foundation.

It feels like last century, like, eh.

I don't like it.

What I like about this dining room

is it's close to the front door

where I can leave and go eat somewhere else.

Shake a little. Shake a little.

Shimmy a little, wiggle and a giggle!

Let's get a house.

Come on, we're going house hunting.

[ doorbell rings ]

♪♪

♪♪

this is a rush. Oh, my god.

Willam: I am a drag queen.

When people hear drag queen, they think man in a dress,

and that's not me.

Sometimes I wear pants, or, like, culottes.

Stop! No, more!

I have an awesome job.

I've been in, say 35 countries,

and I've been on 100 tv shows or so.

I'm in a movie with lady gaga.

If you've gotta check, I've got a talent, basically.

Look at me!

And I'm buying my first house in palm springs.

Anthony and I are business partners,

and we live together, but we are not in a relationship.

Willam and I are best friends.

We have been since we met 5 years ago.

I also help him produce his videos, and I'm a dj.

Look at how ripe. Look at how gorgeous.

It's like candy.

Anthony: I'm definitely more of a realist.

Willam is the creative type.

He kind of keeps me grounded.

If I'm like, "I want to put a zip line in," he's like,

"no, we need a dishwasher."

oh!

-Ow, that's really hot. -Okay.

Right now we live in hollywood, and we plan on staying here,

but our palm springs compound that we're looking for right now

is going to be our vacation home,

party property basically.

A place to have fun.

Palm springs has always kind of been a destination spot

for the hollywood elite

because it's such a great little boop-boop to,

like, vacation there.

-Oh! -One more.

The amount of money I want to spend on a house is way more

than what I'm actually going to spend on a house.

I have about a half a million dollars in tip money.

It's just all one's from my shows.

This pool I love.

All good party houses have pools.

Yes, gorgeous.

Space goes, is that enough space?

Yeah. I'd like a little more.

I want at least like a half an acre lot, I think, for sure.

I love this house.

It's spanish, moroccan.

Anthony: I want homey.

I want people to be able to come into this house and just relax.

Willam: This house should be about fun and cute.

Anywhere you look, a good backdrop for a selfie.

That's what this house is about.

It's about being super cute and helping you be cute.

Everybody's got a grandma for homey and cozy.

-Ooh! -Right?

It's very palm springs hideaway. Yeah.

Like, behind these doors sign a wavier.

Willam: I want cool. I want jetson.

I want mid-century modern.

I want open spaces.

Oh, wait. Let me see your eyes.

Blue.

What about pink and blue?

Perfect. Beautiful!

-Voilà! -Love that.

It's gorgeous. I'll put her on.

So I'm willing to compromise on things, but only in pretend.

Really I'm just going to choose whatever I want.

A little shake.

A little shake. A little shimmy.

A little wiggle, and a giggle.

Let's get a house.

Come on, we're going house hunting.

♪♪

-where's the house at? -I don't know.

Good fences make good neighbors.

Let's see. -I like this big wall.

Yeah, it's very spanish, adobe.

-It's like a compound. -Yeah.

It feels like mid-century sprawling ranch.

Oh, wow. Look at the golf course!

-There's a putt-putt! -That's cool.

I wonder if they have a go-kart track on the other side.

The color is kind of spanish.

It looks like bad foundation.

The front paint color of this house

reminds me of a bad shade of foundation.

The kind that someone's wearing it, and you're like,

"your neck doesn't match your chest."

-good to see you. -Hey, how are you doing?

-Great! -Hi, anthony.

Good to see you. -Hi, good to see you.

So guys, I'm so excited to show you this house today.

We have 2,646 square feet, which it doesn't even include

the casita, which is attached.

What's a casita?

A casita is like a small guest house

that they have out here in the desert.

It sounds very spanish.

It does. See, so you get something...

-Si! Si, exactly! Yeah, si. -Si!

You'll get something off your wish list.

Yeah, si.

Anthony: I like the floors.

I don't like the floors.

-No? -No.

What don't you like about them.

I think that if it's an indoor/outdoor space

with, like, a pool and a vacation home in palm springs,

you're going to have a lot wet feet,

and I don't want to be dealing with warped floors.

I don't know.

It just feels, like, very closed in and cozy

and, like, not modern, not open-space concept.

Like, why do you have this rickety fireplace.

You don't need a fireplace. We're in the desert.

It's very, like, dark and just kind of...

Yeah. I feel like you touch the ceiling if you wanted.

-Yeah. -Well, take a look over here.

Here's the dining room.

Well, what I like about this dining room

is it's close to the front door,

where I can leave and go eat somewhere else.

Downtown palm springs is right here,

which is awesome because right now

I don't want to dine in here.

The room just feels disjointed.

The ceiling was built one year.

The walls were built another year.

Shelves shouldn't have been built at all.

-At all. -Well, all easy fixes.

Yeah.

Here's the thing: Who knows better about a makeover

than a drag queen, right?

So I'm not afraid of renovations.

I'm not interested necessarily in doing a ton,

but I will if I have to.

Let's go check out the master suite.

A master bedroom next to a dining room.

I like that. Eat and pass out.

-What do you think? -Hmm.

Nice big open room.

I love a big open master suite.

A lot of natural light.

The view can't be beat.

You can see the mountains from in here.

I'll be right out!

Oh, the bathtub looks like not something

I would want to take a bath in.

And the mirror next to the toilet.

Nobody wants to watch themselves that closely.

Ever! Do they?

I certainly don't. You know what?

I think the best solution for this bathroom

is to walk away from it.

Ronnie: Okay, guys.

Come out here and check out your backyard entertaining area.

-Wow. -It's all walled in and private.

-I don't like the hot tub. -What don't you like about it?

Willam: It's connected to the pool, and it's right in the middle.

People do stuff in the hot tubs in the corner of the yard

that they don't do in the middle of the yard.

Hot tubs should be in a secluded spot

for all the obvious reasons, and you know exactly why,

and if you don't you don't need to be in the hot tub.

Ronnie: So look, you have your own personal putting green.

There's even a sand trap.

-Uh-oh, don't get caught. -Oh, my gosh.

Don't get got.

I like the mountains.

What do you think? -Beautiful.

Right by the pool, we'll look at the mountains.

That's one of the major reasons

people come to palm springs, is to have that mountain view.

Let's go back inside. We have a lot more to see.

Okay.

The good thing about this house is most of the bedrooms

are down the hall and separated from the master,

which a lot of people like because if you're,

you know, having guests, people like to have their space.

-Okay, kitchen. -No.

Not as big and open as I would need for a party.

Ronnie, this is not a $499,000 kitchen.

I've seen better kitchens in a camper.

Maybe there's more in here.

Washer and dryer in the kitchen.

Okay.

Wait, how are you going to fit pool towels in here?

No.

You couldn't even cook a pound of pasta in there.

This is too small.

Light the stove and let's get out of here.

I see, you don't like the kitchen.

All right.

♪♪

the lot is great. -Yeah.

I mean, the privacy with the wall.

A lot of space.

Definitely the wall feels like a compound.

The pool, the putt-putt.

-Love the pool. -Lots of room.

All in the sun.

Big open outside area, definitely can party out there,

but this house? No.

Yeah, the outside is, like, very saint-tropez, very that,

but the inside is a kate.

I feel like stuff needs to be moved and reconfigured,

and I don't know.

It seems like a lot of work. -Right.

And we're at the top of our budget,

so I don't know how realistic that is.

And that kitchen is boo-boo.

I can't believe you'd even show us that kitchen.

Can you show us something else? -Of course.

Let's take a look at some mid-century places.

-I'd love that. -All right.

♪♪

it's so beautiful here in palm springs.

-Everything is cute. -It's a brand new pool and spa.

Willam: That's a bathtub. I don't like that.

How deep is that?

Ronnie: I would say that's about 5 feet.

Jump in.

♪♪

so beautiful here in palm springs.

-Everything's cute. -My goodness.

Look at the mountains and the grove.

Never get tired of these views.

If I can afford it, I would like an amazing house on a mountain

in palm springs with, like, an infinity pool

and a champagne fountain.

A place to have fun, and for other people to have fun.

That's what we want to do.

We want to, like, put good and light and parties

in the world for ourselves and others.

-Shall we? -I love that front door.

Yeah, that front door. That orange creamsicle fantasy?

Gorg.

I really like the lush gardens also.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage

lush gardens.

They're so lush.

-Not at all. -No.

Not with those gardens.

Wow.

-Oh. -Hi guys!

-Hi. What's up? -Welcome.

-Wow. -This is 1,585 square feet.

Anthony: I love the openness of this.

It feels like they tried to make a box mid-century modern.

When was this built? -1959.

So it is mid-century modern, technically,

but it just feels very, like, edward scissorhands

1950s mid-century modern.

Like, not right. Now I'm mad at the update.

The update doesn't feel lux enough at all.

It doesn't feel like a nice party house.

I like this kitchen.

Yeah, I mean, it's okay.

The owner obviously loved orange with that door

and these cabinets and orange grout.

That's a lot.

It's one thing to have an accent color but, girl.

Always something that could be fixed.

New appliances.

Yeah, this is the open concept you were looking for

where you could entertain while you were cooking.

The guests can see you.

The go-go boy is going to bang his head on this hood.

That's not what an island is for.

Anthony: Willam is really hard on ronnie.

Willam is a tough customer.

He's very hard to please.

-What a beautiful view. -Thank you so much.

Yeah, I think you might even do the dishes with that view.

Don't touch me again.

The view is beautiful and picturesque.

Anthony: Let's go check out that backyard.

-Check it out. -Yeah, let's go take a look.

I don't touch door handles, ronald.

Ronnie: Oh, allow me.

This is your outdoor entertaining space.

Just under 11,000 square feet

for all the parties you want to have.

Anthony: Wow, a lot of space.

Is that putt-putt?

It is! Brand new pool and spa.

Willam: That's a bathtub. I don't like that.

How deep is that?

I would say that's about 5 feet.

Jump in.

-Afterwards. -Okay.

And a firepit?

That is a firepit, so perfect for your pool parties.

What's with this landscape though?

I feel like they took 1930s kansas

and brought it to california.

Well, maybe they did a little bit,

but as you can see they did some plantings around.

You're like, "maybe they did import these from kansas,

I don't know."

I like it. I mean, it's nice.

There's a lot of room out there to do a lot of different things.

-A lot of potential. -Totally, yeah.

I can't wait to see these bathrooms and bedrooms.

Oh, wow.

Ooh, pretty blue.

Right? This tile?

Yeah. [ chuckles ]

that shower looks like a cow standing on its back legs.

There's a lot going on in there. Yeah.

You could fit eight people at once.

-No eight people can't. -Ronnie, close the door.

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Absolutely not, ronnie.

If our friends had to, like, go in from the pool though...

Walk through the house. The whole...

-Every single room. -Yeah.

-Every single room. -It's just too far.

Willam: No, and weird layout.

Big people can't fit in this little, tight space.

We do have a couple big friends.

-A couple of big'uns. -Let's go see these other rooms.

Huh.

Is that a guest bedroom or a closet?

-This is bigger. -Now you're talking.

Yeah, this is a bedroom.

Yeah.

Ronnie: So here's your master.

Oh, lovely.

A lot of natural light in here.

It doesn't feel mid-century modern in here at all.

It feels like last century, like, eh.

I don't know. Here's a bathroom.

Wow.

Anthony: Oh.

Washer and dryer in the master.

The cow udders.

These cow udder showers, for sure.

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, it just seems like a really nice utility room.

♪♪

it's open and a blank slate for improvements out back.

It definitely needs some improvements.

I don't think it's move-in ready for what we would want to do.

Our lifestyle, our...

I like that this is updated.

I just need more.

I feel like this is too small for how much land we're on.

And it is kind of mid-century modern-ish,

but I need more space for my friends.

I have a lot of friends.

I'm very popular, and this one, people like him too.

I wouldn't say this is a party house.

-Small party. -A small party.

An intimate party. -An intimate party.

-A gathering house. -Yeah, couple of people.

I would love to see something more spanish

desert, cozy... -Abu dhabi.

Mm-hmm.

♪♪

ronnie's here!

I already love it.

Why?

Because it's spanish. This is what I wanted.

This is not spanish.

♪♪

okay, first video.

First video.

Welcome to "the beatdown." hey guys.

Hey, it's me, you know.

Willam: I'm buying a house in palm springs

because everyone wants to vacation

in a drag queen's fabulous palm springs compound, right?

[ camera shutter clicks ]

♪♪

ronnie's here!

Hi, guys!

How are you guys doing today?

-Gigs. -Oh, I love it already.

-What's up. Mwah. -Welcome.

Hey. Good to see you.

Good to see you too.

So I wanted you to see this spanish-style house.

Okay.

Just understand 2,000 square feet.

I already love it.

Why?

Because it's spanish. This is what I wanted.

This is not spanish.

Where's the spanish?

Show me Spain.

-Spanish. -Spanish.

Just because you wave your hand and say

"spanish" doesn't make it spanish.

You can put a little salsa on it.

What is that?

Ronnie: I'm not quite sure.

Details, ronald. [ laughs ]

♪♪

-oh. -Nice courtyard.

Willam: I'm tripping for this place.

Anthony: Pretty.

-What do you think? -I like it.

I can see it already has a sound system,

high ceilings, really nice.

-I don't like any of the tile. -I like that big clock.

If we purchase this home, I want a clause in the contract

that says we get that great big clock.

-You got it. -Oh, I love great big clocks.

Oh, my gosh. Does this bad boy work?

It does.

Yeah, gas?

It does, yes, gas.

I don't like it.

I want wood fire for, like, crackling palm springs

desert s'mores moments.

Yeah, I feel like a fireplace might be overkill,

but let's keep an open mind.

Totally. It's very spacious.

It's got a good vibe.

Look at this big open concept kitchen.

Willam: Yeah.

Anthony: Yeah, great for parties, and then there's this nice

living room area all kind of connected.

I think this island is good.

I think we can get a go-go boy or two up on there.

One there, one here, splitting shifts, pooling tips.

-Mm-hmm. -Throw the tips in the sink.

Yeah.

This could be a fun little party house, like, in the back maybe.

Ronnie: Yeah, let's go take a look at it.

This is your outdoor pool area entertaining space.

[ yells ] wait, what is this?

[ yelling ] I said, "it's your outdoor

entertaining area pool and spa!"

it's so loud out here.

-[ normal voice ] so loud. -Oh, my gosh.

Is it in the middle of the highway?

Ronnie: [ normal voice ] well, it is next to one.

-Oh, it's freezing. -Ooh!

It's because it's in the shade.

And it's next to a highway,

so really that's like a highway puddle.

Ew.

Ronnie: Well, down the hall to the right here,

you have your guest bathroom.

Willam: Ugh, brown carpet?

Here's the laundry room.

-Nice. -Okay.

-Yeah. -It's open.

Then you have one of your guest bedrooms right here.

Anthony: Really nice.

And here's the second guest bedroom.

Oh, cool.

This is where betsy ross made that flag.

[ chuckles ]

this is the master bedroom.

Oh, I love it.

Willam: Speakers.

Speakers, big california king bed.

Big enough for me and all my dreams.

Yeah. -High ceilings.

Nice, and the pillow matches old dusty valence.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage

dusty valence.

-Ooh, so dusty! -Ooh, dusty!

So dusty!

This vent is blowing out fierce cold air.

Kicking.

That's where all the dust came from.

Come on, dust. I've got a valence for you.

Ronnie: Here's your master bathroom.

Wow, it's huge.

Big shower. -Wow.

You could fit a whole football team in there.

We could charge a cover.

This is, like, the nicest room in the house.

They did this good. Props to them.

♪♪

big high ceilings, spanish.

-Speakers. -Speakers.

It's spacious.

As much as I love spanish and this house,

I think it's more about what you want.

It's less than I wanted to spend,

but it's also less than I actually wanted.

Yeah.

Yeah, and do you want to party here in that backyard?

No, not that close to the highway.

No. I like to be at least, like, 20 feet from the highway.

♪♪

oh, my gosh. We've got so much to think about.

Yeah, you've got some decisions to make.

Yeah. What about that ranch?

That was the most expensive.

The one with the big adobe wall.

And it has kind of a spanish vibe, or maybe just a desert.

-Desert, yeah. -Huge pool outback area.

-Huge pool. -Not noisy.

You got putt-putt.

Tons of potential.

Yeah. Have tiger woods over.

Not really digging how dark and cave-like it was in there.

It would definitely need some, like, re-laying out I think.

Yeah, we definitely need to adjust.

And we don't have much money for that because

it's the top of our budget.

The mid-century modern house has that cute door,

but after that it kind of went...

I loved how big that lot was.

Definitely a lot of potential there.

-Corner lot. -A huge lot.

It's waiting for someone to put their own taste on it,

which I totally can do.

It's like a blank slate, so that's nice.

There's ample room for entertaining.

That pool was small though.

That pool was more of a puddle.

It's fully updated at least.

But even with it being fully updated, it's not to our tastes.

I feel like we would still have to knock out that whole kitchen

and open it up more, put a sound system in.

-And by we, we mean... -Somebody.

Somebody.

That spanish that was 3 bedrooms, 2 baths,

pool next to the highway.

-Yeah. -What did you think?

I liked it.

Speakers throughout, high ceilings, open concept.

The kitchen was right off the pool

which is nice for entertaining.

It had a nice island too. It's a good price.

Which house would make our friends the most jealous?

That's the one I want.

Which one is that?

♪♪

[ doorbell rings ]

bye. Bye, that wall.

Knock that right down, raise these ceilings up.

Raise the roof. Yeah.

Speakers all throughout.

Willam: We went with the ranch!

It's the biggest bang for our buck, so.

Yeah, a lot of space here. A lot of potential.

We're really inspired.

I love the wall.

The wall is very spanish feel to me, adobe.

Very, like, compound private.

The other properties that we saw didn't have much privacy.

This house was listed for $499,000

and I think I paid $489,000.

Ah! I don't like this game.

If there's no wi-fi, there's no willam.

I haven't stayed here yet, but I have used the pool.

We've had friends over.

Neon signs.

Neon signs.

-Vending machines? -Vending machines?

-Vending machines. -Very japanese.

I love it. Back alley tokyo.

The side of the house is going to be super cool.

It's going to be like the back alley of an arcade.

Like, all the fun games are at and, like,

a couple of tire swings and lights.

Airstream trailer for sure.

We need a hot tub back here.

Ooh, a hot tub moment here would be great.

Lovely. Hello!

Man: Oh, yeah!

Welcome to palm springs!

I love the outfit!

-You are stunning. -Looking great!

-Stunning. -Work it!

Look at that!

[ clatters ] ooh!

Sorry. It's my house though. That's fine.

I see a lot of me hanging out here and making it, like,

cute and being, like, very cancer

because that's what we do. We create atmospheres.

He's a cancer too.

[ cheers ]

[ laughs ]

there's going to be a lot of joy here,

and if there's not there's going to be

enough alcohol to compensate.

[ laughter ]

man: Esther williams reborn!