Original subtitles

You're straight out of a therapy ad.

Who votes the burnout parents in?

Therapy for you!

Geneviève and I are professionals,

we've been retired for a year.

Married 30 years,

separated a few times,

but we're giving it one last try.

The tone of his voice,

how he pronounces every syllable--

Stop enumerating!

Don't interrupt me!

We're here because Carole will leave me.

No, Gaël, you'll leave me.

I'd never leave you.

You'll find a girl your age.

I want you so much it hurts.

I love your skin, your breasts,

your hips.

You can't fake that.

That's not love.

Sex 10 times a week means nothing.

Well...

Don't go for 11 just now.

Everything looks cool for you.

She's right.

We're in a lousy relationship.

So lousy,

everyone knew it was bad but me.

We're real-estate agents.

I only talk about work.

Condos, sheds, bungalows,

duplex, triplex, all the plexes!

I also manage to be there,

but not there. It's a superpower.

Marc is like Happy,

the dwarf in Snow White:

"Life is grand!

I only talk about work!"

I miss out on everything.

We all work too much.

When together, we're not together!

Maybe it's time to put

my for sale sign on another man's lawn?

Oh, hurtful metaphor!

Sorry, you'll have to drag me away.

That can be arranged.

We're doing the goddamn therapy!

We're staying too, got it?

No one hates each other more than us.

We'll kill each other!

You should go.

You and your little problems...

Should I kill him?

You're taking a loving couple's spot!

Wasn't talking to you.

Watch your tone!

Want to fight?

Anytime!

Congratulations.

That was the first exercise.

Jesus Christ!

Participants' introduction.

Getting to know each other.

You're eager to work.

There's room for everyone.

Bunch of lunatics, right, Happy?

Why are you here?

To get Martin Germain to talk.

That's our job.

Forget the mission, focus on your relationship.

Forget the mission?

Saving your relationship will be demanding.

That's why I'm here.

To keep an eye on me?

You don't trust me.

You don't!

At your age, fading out isn't a big deal.

It's normal.

You can't let go. Makes you take risks.

I know what I'm doing.

So do I.

Martin Germain will be eating out of my hand.

Martin Germain will eat out of my hand!

Out of my hand...

He won't eat out of yours,

he'll be stuffed after eating from mine.

You won't have enough. He'll come to my hand.

Alice will eat where? - My other hand!

Watch me work.

I'm watching.

Take notes and get them tattooed.

What are you doing?

I'm taking the couch.

That's what fighting couples do.

I'm playing the part.

Stop exaggerating!

We'll mix up our stories.

I wasn't.

Fine.

I'm putting my sign here!

Goodnight.

You're being ridiculous.

Why?

It's 8:30.

Jacques is waiting.

So...

I just...

Let's be clear...

I love you,

y'know.

It's...

I, uh... I love you...

by the way.

I'm in love and...

all that...

a lot.

Me too.

Stop flirting with the therapist.

What are you talking about?!

You're crazy.

True, it turns me on to see a man

speak more than 2 words an hour.

Being attracted to your therapist

is called transference.

The shrink's too short anyway.

I'm not into midgets.

It's like he left his legs in Montreal.

What about his assistant?

He's handsome, doesn't mean I'd sleep with him.

You're one to talk!

I didn't do a thing.

Transference.

Anyway, Jacques must be 128!

I'd never kiss a man

who was there on D-Day,

wrinkled like a prune...

He's pretty wrinkly.

Dyes his hair more than me.

He has Viagra-breath.

He's Amy Winehouse's great-grandfather.

Explains the tattoos.

His first girlfriend was Shirley Temple.

Really?

She was really kinky.

Enough.

He was there when the Titanic sank--

That's you!

He knew Jesus.

He was at the Last Supper.

This is perfect.

Transference!

Goddammit!

Where's the off button?

Don't help me!

Gotta love 'em, huh?

Our girlfriends...

Going to therapy.

It's so girly.

Hold on a sec...

Out of my hand!

Show us how you perceive your partner.

I call this Living Sculptures.

You will sculpt your partner into a shape

that best represents them and explain why.

If Jacques and I were partners

and I thought he was grouchy...

This is Suzanne.

She protects me.

You're beautiful!

Isn't she?

Since Marie-Claude's lost her sex drive...

This is how I see her.

Seeing it moves me.

I love you.

Beautiful.

Touching.

Ladies and gentlemen, Akim.

Since the baby was born,

he's become the Invisible Man.

Very funny.

Fucking hilarious!

We've been together for 10 years.

She was outgoing, happy.

Now this.

We had a baby, dumbass.

There's the proof.

Stop exaggerating, idiot.

Seriously, shut the hell up.

See?

Stop! Why are you laughing?

You're a statue!

Statues don't hit!

You're revolting.

I can't believe I let you inside me.

I tore, they sewed me up, you fainted...

Asshole!

Hear that echo?

To me, Marc is...

Happy.

Happy lives in his own world,

doesn't see reality.

He thinks our relationship is...

peachy.

Super positive.

Even when knee-deep in it.

This is Alice.

Fantastic.

What does it mean?

Nothing.

It's funny to see her struggling.

She seems stable, but...

she's not.

The image burned into my brain:

There you have it.

This is not how I see Geneviève,

but how I'd like her to be.

Bernard's narcissism is best showcased

in a position

which allows him to fellate himself.

This isn't how I perceive Gaël,

but how I feel him.

We've seen enough!

Let them be!

They're fully participating.

Hush, Édouard!

Go on, Gaël.

Want us to make love in front of you?

Wouldn't be a first.

Time to find your inner caveman.

I want you to act like primitive couples.

Communicate only through grunts.

Rediscover your partner

as if for the first time.

I want to see seduction

in its most primitive form.

No words!

Goddammit!

Get away!

Really?

You stupid idiot!

Almost the same vocabulary.

Stop!

Help!

You're crazy!

Help!

Men, you're hunter-gatherers,

you must feed your partner

while protecting her from predators.

Right.

A T-Rex attacks.

He's attacking right now!

Dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years

before humans appeared.

It's just a game.

It doesn't matter--

There's a bear!

A bear!

I swear!

There's a fucking bear!

Scream, come on!

How comforting!

My back!

Don't touch me!

I fell, but I'm fine.

It's all good.

Gentlemen, congratulations!

To Suzanne, our real hero!

Men used to be men,

now they can't even do that.

You smothered our primal urges

so we could be in touch with our emotions.

When I see a bear, my emotions flare up!

Like in bed. One minute,

they want it rough enough to break a rib,

then, they want you to recite Shakespeare.

We don't have sex anymore.

I'll never have sex again.

He doesn't understand me.

He's not there.

The baby is, even when I poop.

I don't like pooping with an audience.

I do all the housework

while you sit on your ass.

I breastfeed!

Ladies and gents, she breastfeeds!

She's a mother, she breastfeeds.

Female monkeys climb trees

with 8 babies feeding off their nipples.

You can't even get a glass of water.

If I could touch your breasts.

Kid's on my boobs 18 hours a day.

On my breaks, I want them to myself.

She used to love my penis!

Now it's her nemesis.

But my penis is resilient.

My penis is like...

a Tibetan monk:

he doesn't speak, he's patient and bald.

But don't upset him.

You wanna bang me screaming my name?

I'd have an orgasm not hearing my name.

24 hours. Total silence.

If I had a dildo,

I'd shove it in my ear to block sound.

You'd need 2 dildos.

We also don't make love.

I feel no desire for Bernard.

None.

I hate seeing him naked.

We get it.

I hate it too.

How does one boost their sex drive?

Well... everyone's different.

There's no difference.

No sex is the same problem

for 2 women or a normal couple.

What do you suggest?

Stop worrying, just do it!

Simple as that.

He understands.

Just do it!

If you or your wife don't feel like it,

jump on it.

Take her and, y'know, soon enough...

That's rape!

It's not rape if you're a couple.

What you said about real men and women,

sensitivity and emotions...

Let's say it like it is.

A man is male, a woman is female.

Males have penises, females vaginas.

At some point, the penis goes into the vagina.

Do you approve of his methods?

They're not my methods,

but it is one school of thought.

Exactly, it's...

Pre-Freud.

Pre-thought itself.

Sex has to go back to basics.

If men breastfed, there'd be world peace.

This isn't easy.

It's challenging.

Our relationship or the mission?

The mission.

You?

Same thing.

We should focus on the case.

We can't fix everything.

Sure we can!

I'll bet on it.

$100. When we leave,

Germain will have spilled his guts

and you'll be nuts about me.

Easy money.

Oh? The grunt of the scared caveman?

I thought you were behind me.

We were holding hands!

It was Édouard's hand...

Very delicate hands.

We have to cancel the therapy.

I can't get up.

We just started!

I can't, physically or psychologically!

I have to cancel.

I'll stand in for him.

We'll get some cortisone.

You can't replace him.

No! You--

I'll be the shrink!

You won't.

You think like an old cop.

They'll know you're not a psychologist.

Why?

You don't have one ounce of psychology.

I infiltrated Apache Poitras's gang,

we became best friends.

You think I didn't use psychology?

Yes, Apache Poitras psychology.

This is Marie-Claude and Suzanne.

He tried to scalp me twice.

You think 2 lesbians scare me?

Exactly.

Can you gently address

the libidos of a suburban gay couple?

He who can do more can do less.

Ask the guy who built the pyramids

if he can build a shed.

You just compared lesbians to a shed...

It's a metaphor!

You understood?

You're a hero cop,

but we'll find a better solution.

Any ideas?

I’ll blow your cover!

Wanna see something?

Édouard is seriously injured,

he won't be able to continue.

I’m taking over.

In a few days,

you'll present a dance routine.

On each iPad, there's a choreography.

Here.

You'll work on different concepts.

Cooperation, touch, synchronicity,

sensuality and...

communication.

Focus!

Stop checking Akim out.

What?!

There's no need to rewind.

- Rewind! - Do it yourself!

You'll dance with the damn iPad?

The tension is rising!

Can't stand those two.

Jacques!

We both have low self-esteem,

we feel unworthy of each other's love.

No. It's simple,

the age gap is too large.

Think about it.

Off to bed.

- We can do it. - Forget the choreography.

Sleep therapy.

Off to bed!

Ridiculous.

You're doing good.

Oh yeah, you have no desire for each other.

Suzanne, if we waited for women,

we'd never get anywhere.

It's up to us men to take the lead.

You're the man here... You should--

Excuse me?!

Women love conquerors.

Did he just say I’m the man here?

If there's no man, no wonder there's problems.

I’ll slug him!

Not very feminine of you.

The cute couple.

Move on.

You know what your problem is?

If I may?

You may not!

Let's hear him.

You have an attention deficit.

You're not there.

He's not.

I know.

Your girlfriend wants to tango

and Happy is goofing around.

Grab her and tango away already!

How are things here?

Martin won't dance.

I’ve never danced before.

Who gives a shit?!

Martin, I get it,

but today, it's dance therapy.

Allow me.

Are you kidding me?

Screw her on the dancefloor.

He's teaching us the steps.

The steps to get in your pants!

Time for a private session.

In my spare time...

I can't do it.

Just spit it out, dammit!

Take your time.

I’m not ready.

Quit it with the "not ready".

Jacques, chill out!

Martin needs an individual session.

Can you leave us?

I’d rather stay.

I’m the therapist.

I’m here to help him open up.

Trust my methods,

go practice your cha-cha-cha.

You know...

honesty is essential.

What are you hiding from Pascale?

That's blunt.

Tell me your secret.

I’d rather not.

You'd better or else...

Are you threatening me?

Yes. Therapeutic threats.

I don't like this.

Let's try another method.

Come closer.

Look into my eyes.

That's part of the therapy?

How do you feel?

Surprised and my face stings.

Still therapy?

New method.

Scandinavian.

It's for your own good.

Tell me what you're keeping from Pascale.

You have to open up.

Set yourself free.

It's time.

Open up.

Open up!

ls that open enough?

Should I open up more?

Yes! Even more!

This feels good!

I love the Scandinavian method!

You're right.

Amazing method. Spill it.

Isn't it enough?

No!

Set yourself free!

Talk! - I can't.

Excuse me, Jacques? I just...

I really...

need some advice about Alice.

I can't do this.

You've really outdone yourself.

You're beating our witness up.

You told Suzanne she's the man.

I’m speechless.

It's obvious she's the man!

Call a spade a spade?

She even walks like a man!

Psychologists have a bit of restraint.

That's the problem.

You have to look competent.

On active listening:

don't give advice, don't judge.

They have to feel that you hear them.

I’m not deaf.

Hearing their emotions.

Getting someone to open up.

Like an interrogation.

Without the slapping.

It's simple:

be receptive,

repeat what they're saying

and nod, while saying: Mmm-hmm.

I’ll do patient and therapist.

My lover no longer desires me.

Your lover no longer desires you.

I get it.

I repeat their statement and say: "Mmm."

Not just "mmm." An interested "mmm-hmm."

Talk with your eyes.

A bit more.

Less.

With compassion.

Empathy.

Are you in pain?

Start low, end high.

What's that face?

You sound like a horny bull.

Loosen it up.

Not as tight.

Good.

Hold on to that.

Next step.

You've got it.

Enough.

Can you be serious?

Can you take me seriously?

We don't have to compete.

We could cooperate.

We're a team.

I want you to see what I'm capable of.

It matters to me.

It matters to you.

Go to hell.

Those who suffer from vertigo, get ready!

We're rock climbing!

My legs hurt.

Are we lost?

No. We're almost there.

Do you know where the rock face is?

Of course.

We've already been here.

It looks similar, but it's different.

You seem lost.

I’m not lost.

Really?

Where's the rock face then?

Not far.

You...

You...

I don't get you.

Me either.

The rock face is just around the corner!

Rock climbing: the steep ascent.

This is about trust:

your partner will help you climb.

I can touch the peak.

Sure--

This is bullshit!

You're angry.

Fuck you!

Next activity.

This exercise

will help you understand

how your relationship with your parents

affects your love life.

Your parents are your first love...

Talk about your mother... or father.

I grew up alone with my mother.

We had no money. She had 3 jobs.

I did all the housework.

She taught me responsibility.

Impressive.

No. I was dealing weed at 11.

My dad was strict.

Violent.

My brother and I called him "the mime."

He didn't talk much, but he used his hands.

Élissa scares me too.

When we talk...

it's like walking on eggshells.

Crystal eggshells.

Just looking at her scares me.

I’m also scared of Élissa.

You see?

It's not easy to talk about this.

My mother never touched me.

She was not affectionate.

She made me feel ugly.

I read somewhere that for a child,

not being touched is like torture.

So my mother was ISIS.

And my house, Guantanamo.

That's why you won't go to Cuba.

My mom had me at 49.

I breastfed until grade 3.

I grew up with cows.

I learned a lot from them.

PeacefuIness,

patience, digestion.

Fond memories.

My mother died when I was young.

It affected me.

Thanks.

Thank you, Marc. Carole?

Just a second.

You were raised by your dad?

Yes. I’d rather not get into it.

No pressure.

He doesn't want to share.

Like I said, she died when I was young,

and my dad was away for work.

He left me with a nanny

from the Philippines.

Cerila only spoke Filipino. I learned it.

Which in little-kid language means:

"Where's Daddy? I miss him."

Cerila pitied me, insisted we play catch.

My dad never played catch.

Ever play catch with a Filipino nanny?

She'd say...

"Come, let's play catch."

I’d reply:

It means: "Where's my dad?

I’d rather play with him."

She'd say:

"He's at work."

I didn't exist for him.

He spoke in monologues.

Your dad's a self-centered jerk!

Damn right.

Thanks for sharing.

Whatever I accomplish, it's never enough.

Thank you very, very much.

Excellent.

Let's move on--

My dad was an asshole too.

He'd beat my mother and me.

We weren't allowed to talk.

When I was 5, he gave me a dog.

A few months later he...

he killed it

looking me straight in the eyes.

Well done, love.

Thanks for sharing.

Feels good, huh?

Anything you'd like to get off your chest,

now's the time.

Right now.

It'll be dark soon. We should head back.

It's cold, what's the plan?

Right...

This next activity is a surprise:

camping as a couple... without gear.

That's not in the brochure...

or in the promo video.

Absolutely not.

I’m not dying here. I’m out.

We can't go, it'll be dark soon.

We can't split up!

I’m not staying.

We're staying!

Jesus...

No need to yell.

Let's wait a bit.

Surprising.

Impressive, Akim.

Haven't camped much.

Your ancestors taught you?

Yeah.

My grandfather was Bedouin.

When we travelled the desert,

I prepared fires while he...

hunted for goats to eat.

What a rich culture.

I’m from Laval.

There's a Laval in your country?

Ah, it's you.

Want some?

I don't smoke on the job.

Feel free to share,

especially with Geneviève and Bernard.

It'll get the stick out their ass.

Where the hell did you study?

Sleeping in the forest?

As soon as we get back, I’m leaving.

Really? Why?

Emotions...

You saw the shrink,

he jumped me.

Looked hardcore.

New method?

Scandinavian.

Ah, the Gestalt-Punch.

It was upsetting.

That's why we're here?

Sure, but it was really hard.

Pascale loved it when you opened up.

You're right.

Maybe I needed Jacques to beat me up.

Maybe.

Can't wait for him to beat me up.

I could ask him? - No, spontaneity is best.

You're right, I was surprised.

You're a good guy, Marc.

I really like you.

I needed this.

What are the police doing?

Intimidation tactics have succeeded.

The Commission has been suspended.

Judge Bourgault,

you're leaving the country.

Massarelli's tactics worked.

The Commission has not been dissolved:

it's on standby.

I did not resign

because of intimidation.

I’m leaving due to family matters.

I do not fear Normand Massarelli.

You're wearing a bulletproof vest!

In-laws were gonna watch the kids.

Friends are babysitting.

Jacob is 10, Gabriel is 16.

2 beautiful boys.

I miss Florence so much.

I’m leaking, I could breastfeed you all.

I miss her too.

My youngest is 22, my oldest 30.

You're silly.

Bat!

I hate this!

Shitty therapy.

We're getting eaten alive.

That's the therapy?

Becoming a mosquito buffet?

Yup!

Therapy...

Shitty!

You have kids?

Do you want any?

Later...

Besides work, Alice is doing her Master's.

I’m hardly there for her,

so for a baby...?

You being serious?

How romantic.

You're a romantic?

Not exactly.

Every now and then.

Sometimes, things don't come out right.

Me too, I screw up.

I ruined my wedding proposal.

No!

Well... - You did.

During our anniversary dinner,

to prove we were good,

he chucked a ring on the table.

No way!

He might as well have said:

"Yo... Marry me?"

Why?

Context...

It's not easy for a man to propose.

Really?

It was a sexy throw.

Here! Let's get married.

That's not sexy!

You weren't there.

I opened up.

It was chivalrous...

It's unforgivable.

Do you have kids?

Our son is 32, our daughter 27.

They live abroad.

Which is fucking great!

Come on!

She's right, they're unbearable.

Who raised them?

We had a dog though...

Poumpi.

He euthanized him.

You killed him.

He was 23 and diabetic.

Daily shots...

I loved injecting him.

It wasn't a life,

his hind legs were paralysed.

He'd crawl towards me, imploring:

"Bernard, let me die.

Leave me my dignity."

Then his anal glands would empty.

Splendid. Got pictures?

Not with us.

Are you...

We're done.

You're kidding!

That's disgusting! We're right here!

There's a forest!

Go do it on a rock!

They're fucking next to us! Gross!

We didn't do it on purpose.

Not on purpose?

I wish you had as much testosterone.

Shut up! You know what?

Poumpi hated you.

Liar!

Why are you still together?

You should split up.

Honestly...

finding a new partner is difficult.

I’m 60.

Do I want to live alone at 60, 70?

Are you married?

Have any kids?

I have one.

A girl.

Such a princess.

Temperamental.

Spoiled. That's my fault.

Cute, but... demanding.

Funny coincidence,

like Marc's father,

my wife died when my daughter was 3.

I raised her by myself.

It wasn't easy.

Raising a child alone is challenging.

But I’m proud,

I rose to that challenge.

I’m happy, she's a wonderful person:

well-balanced,

lovable, intelligent.

Needs to learn a thing or two.

When she has kids, she'll understand.

Another thing I’m sure of:

I love my kid.

Always have,

always will.

Wish I’d had a father like you.

Me too.

Bat!

Idiot!

Not funny!

Wasn't a bird.

Take a nap!

Wake up! Make noise!

I hear something!

You must be the therapy group.

All good. I found them.

Are you sure it's them?

No doubt about that!

What's the problem?

Marc is such a good guy.

I’d make him my boyfriend in a second.

If I was a woman...

I’m not or anything...

Would you like a moment, guys?

You know what I mean!

You're a good guy too.

Trust one another.

Being with couples

going through the same thing as us...

It makes me want to...

I want to share things I've never told you.

Really?! - Really.

I’m sorry.

You're not here.

What should I do with that $100?

Bring me to Massarelli's restaurant?

What are you doing?

Thought you wanted to talk.

Let's have a drink, then talk.

Easy now.

Goddammit!

You said we'd talk.

I lost Martin.

He got wasted and left.

He's just napping outside.

I can't take this anymore.

I’m losing it, it's too much.

Sorry to barge in,

but you get it? You're a shrink!

I’m upset.

Really upset.

He was about to confide

but he started drinking.

He drank, fell asleep and left.

Now, he's snoring on a bench.

It's a lot to handle for him.

Alcohol is a means of escape.

I also wish he opened up.

Sorry to bother you in your room.

You're not bothering me.

We've barely spoken

but I haven't felt this validated in years.

It's fucked!

I’m here to save my relationship.

To save your relationship.

I shouldn't really say this, but...

you give me shivers, man.

I give you shivers.

I’m flustered.

A normal reaction.

I also find you very, very beautiful.

Really?

This is a therapist-patient relationship.

I’ll have to ask you to leave.

Fine.

Even though I don't want to.

What are you doing?

There were 3 murders last night.

Massarelli is cleaning house.

No worries.

The judge resigned,

the Commission was dissolved,

Massarelli knows we got nothing.

We can only nab him if Germain talks,

but you're frolicking in the woods with him!

You can't be bothered!

I'm at a loss here!

A small setback. But things are good.

Germain's about to talk.

It's under control.

I stood in for the shrink, I'm pretty decent.

Didn't think I had it in me.

The couples are making progress!

You stood in for the shrink?!

Don't worry.

"Don't worry?"

We have a big day ahead.

He's happy. Proud.

Couples are making progress.

People are getting killed,

but Bernard's gonna screw his old lady, Woohoo!

I hope he does.

You beat up our suspect, insulted patients,

got us lost in the forest, what next?

I slept with Jacques.

What?

We were talking, you got wasted.

You left, I panicked

and went to Jacques.

He was really nice and...

You slept with him?

You slept with her?

We just slept...

We had sex!

What?

I was checking out your infidelity theory...

You slept

with the mafia hitman's girlfriend?

I’ll kill him.

With the mafia hitman's girlfriend?

I’ll kill him!

Get over it!

Get over you sleeping with the mafia hitman's girlfriend?

Wasn't the best idea.

Not the best idea?!

That's...

I can't think of any word but "bad"

to express how bad the idea was

to sleep with the bad person.

Bad timing, bad sexual partner

to have bad sex with.

Actually, the sex was amazing! No complaints!

Oversharing!

I'll kill him!

Where is he?

I’ll strangle him with his saggy balls!

Hey! Say one word

and we're done!

Jacques is a good guy.

You're a woman,

you'll understand.

I’ve fallen for her.

Haven't felt butterflies in 30 years.

I probably won't again.

I think she felt the same.

We talked all night. Get it?

Of course, I’m a woman.

I totally get it.

Control yourself,

or you'll be speaking 2 octaves higher.

Need me to spell it out?

I’ll cut your pee-pee.

I’m sure I love you.

Babe, I believe you.

Sex is meaningless.

I felt nothing for that geezer,

he's not a good lay.

Took him forever.

It's you I love.

She's lying.

We connected, I’m sure.

I'll think about it.

The good news, they're staying together.

We can concentrate on our mission.

The mission!

This is why we call it Bootcamp.

Communication is the key.

Coordination, endurance...

I’m doing it.

Babe, no. - It'll do me good.

...blowing off steam.

You'll be competing together,

even tied to each other.

Beating me up

was an unusual method,

but screwing my girlfriend,

I didn't see that coming.

Honestly...

Well done!

It was an eye-opener.

It brought us closer together.

You're an amazing shrink!

Scandinavian method?

Thai, actually.

Don't do it again.

Give me a second.

Look at him.

Where's the chapter on sleeping

with the mafia hitman's girlfriend?

When you hear this:

switch partners.

Switch?

When there's a switch,

take the man's position.

Enough.

There's no man in our relationship.

Come on...

Suzanne has some...

...traits we associate with men.

I don't cook and I make twice her salary.

Am I the man, but only sometimes?

Carole is 30 years older than her boyfriend,

is she the man?

Bernard is effeminate.

Akim screams like a girl when he sees a bug,

that makes him the woman?

There's no man in our couple, is that clear?

We're both women.

Two women!

Very touching.

Thanks. Duly noted.

Everyone!

Time to suffer!

This training course is challenging.

It's make or break.

You're all screw-ups, so you'll probably break.

Who goes first?

You do.

What did you do?

It's over and done with.

I can't help picturing it.

How long did you kiss?

Over.

Over. - Under!

Raise your stick. - Be more precise.

"Raise your stick" is pretty precise.

Forward.

Now, jump!

Fuck you.

Fuck yourself!

I envy you.

The passion that makes people suffer...

You'll never feel that again.

Your troubles are over.

Never again will you feel those butterflies,

the tiny fuckers who gnaw at your insides.

Your butterflies are dead,

pinned to the Grey walls of your stomach.

So lucky!

It's always crashing into walls with you.

Really?

You saying I’m flat?

What?!

Walls! I’m flat?

Are you even listening?

No!

I had a kid when I was young.

My wife and I fought too.

Eventually,

we stopped fighting.

What happened?

She died.

For a relationship to work, someone has to die.

He's crazy.

Insane.

Haven't lain together panting in a while?

Enjoy! Might not happen again.

Keep it up, Laurel and Hardy!

Left.

Towards you.

Am I close?

Pascale, be clear,

you send mixed messages.

We don't know what you want.

Your lover is left waving his stick around.

What's going on? Am I close?

Just relax.

What's that tone?

I’m the shrink, I use whatever tone I want!

We're cool, but don't push it,

the Scandinavian method might kill you.

You're getting on my nerves!

Completely to the right.

You're gonna die!

I’m getting annoyed...

Forward and down.

Okay, love,

go right.

We can't ignore it.

Jacques slept with the mafia hitman's girlfriend.

It happened!

Jacques slept...

With the mafia hitman's girlfriend!

Get over it.

Did you see him?

He almost fought with the mafia hitman.

At least Pascale doesn't know she slept

with the head of the organized crime unit.

The fact that we know who slept with you-know-who--

Shut up!

I have to keep an eye on him.

Forget your dad!

He almost fought with the mafia hitman!

I can't take this anymore!

Well, neither can I!

What are you talking about?

We did it twice yesterday, things were back to normal.

Making love doesn't solve the problem.

Sorry I’m so out of it,

I’m focusing on the mission my dad's screwing up.

You're not focusing on the mission or us,

you're focusing on Jacques.

Let it go.

You're 37 and still waiting for his approval?

He's 63, he won't change now.

Let it go!

That's nonsense!

Why don't you let go?!

This is me, letting go.

That conversation took a bad turn.

You should've led it elsewhere!

Don't think about this anymore.

Out of bounds.

Good news!

Uh... Scratch that!

It's open bar.

In 4th place, the ping pong-playing cat...

If only there were Olympic Games for cats.

The 3rd-place video instantly went viral:

couples in therapy, lost in the forest,

thought they were getting attacked by a bear.

They don't just need couples therapy,

they need to be committed.

It's not even 9:00!

The Bootcamp was so challenging.

It was gruelling.

Pushing her wheelchair will be gruelling.

Where are you heading?

What are you doing?

Hey, everyone!

Don't tell me to calm down!

Jacques insulted us!

This is wonderful.

We're celebrating our breakup.

Thanks to Jacques,

we're splitting up to get our butterflies back.

Butterflies?

Amazing therapy!

You'll dump me because you think I’ll dump you.

I never will and you'll dump me for nothing.

Don't dump me!

ls it Jacques' wheelchair comment?

You!

No way!

What are you doing?

Stay here.

You're ridiculous.

You're not going anywhere.

I’ll hit you, Scandinavian style.

Don't do it!

Hey!

Stop him, I’ll deal with Martin.

He drove up in his cart...

Said he killed his wife.

Sorry!

Pascale needs a private session.

You're weird.

He's weird.

So what if I need a private session?

Privately.

You're a professional?

A private session is a bad idea.

The mother of bad ideas.

The supreme bad idea.

A bad idea within a bad idea.

The inception of all bad ideas.

I don't know you well,

but if you don't shove off,

I’ll show you the inception of a slap.

You don't know what inception means.

No, but I know what a slap is.

Pascale and I...

Jacques, she's a patient.

Who needs to talk, so bye!

Where's Pascale?

She needed some rest.

You wanna lose your license?

Go in there and there'll be consequences.

I hope so!

She left with Jacques.

That fucker!

It's a private session.

Christ!

Happy to see you!

He left with Pascale. - Who?

Tattooed Dr. Phil! I’ll kill him.

You want to kill him. - Yes!

What are you doing?

Hugging. Men don't touch enough.

Out of my way!

That fucker!

I’ll kill the fucker!

You can't barge in there.

You can't kill the shrink--

Mind your business!

Sure, but I spoke to him.

He has high blood pressure, had 3 strokes.

Go back to the bar. Understood?

Yes, sir. Enjoy your stay. Thank you.

My savior.

I’m not feeling well.

Marc was just here.

Not Marc.

He hates it when I’m like this.

Really?

I have to cool down.

I can't find my key.

I’m looking for Pascale.

Help me. I’m boiling.

I’m hot too.

I’m feeling sick.

You need water.

I have water in my room.

I’ll deal with the shrink later.

Thanks.

I have scotch too.

Drink this.

Thanks.

Didn't think we'd do this again.

The chemistry is undeniable.

You get me.

Same here.

After my wife's passing,

I didn't think it possible.

The huge age gap doesn't bother me.

Me either.

You're a bad boy?

A very bad boy.

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

You don't want to know. - Nothing scares me.

Time to head back.

I’m telling you, I’m rough.

What's going on?

Where's Jacques?!

Why is Alice in Martin's room?

Alice is with Martin...

because Jacques is with Pascale.

It's a swap.

Actually, it's a... transfer.

Jacques might've...

maybe, vaguely slept with...

the mafia hitman's girlfriend.

Yes, the Mafia.

Sometimes, in our line of work...

Sex happens.

What?!

I know, he's 78 years older than her!

I’ll kill you!

I will literally kill you.

With my own hands.

I’ll take your head and your father's head

and smash them together.

Till all that's left is a puddle of blood and shit.

That's all you have in your heads:

shit!

I hear you.

That's a normal reaction.

Shut up!

Wouldn't want to rush things.

For the remainder of the therapy--

Finish the week with Martin.

I was just about to say that!

We're totally in sync.

Wait, why...

Why do you want me to finish the week with Martin?

Because...

Won't you be upset

that I’m trying to save my relationship,

that you're helping me save it,

that I’m sleeping with him?

Hold on...

Why do you want to finish the week with him?

We're talking about you.

You're so hot, the bad boy might come out.

You've been bad?

Really bad.

Tell me more.

Later.

How should I behave? You're in my room.

I know...

Think about Pascale.

I really love Marc.

And... I’m pregnant.

That's great news!

Are you a cock tease?

That motherfucker!

Bad idea!

I'm so sorry!

I love her.

I'm sorry.

It's more complicated than you think.

For me, it's 100...

1000 times more complicated.

It's fucked up that you keep insisting

I stay with him.

Why do you insist on staying?

He scares you?

I’m not scared, you are!

I am!

What's the deal?

You're married? Got kids?

Who cares?

I care! You'd be in danger if I told you.

In danger?

Just tell me.

If you only knew...

You tell me your great reason!

Go ahead, I’m really intrigued.

Ladies first!

Age before beauty!

- You're so immature. - You're senile!

- You're really irritating! - You're fucking annoying!

- Whatever! - Fuck this shit!

- I’m a cop! - I’m a cop!

The RCMP?

The mafia hitman's girlfriend

works for the RCMP?

I’ve been on this case for 2 years.

Best covert agent. He's under her spell.

He's clueless.

He's about to crack.

Ethics and professionalism mean nothing to you?

Calm down.

It's no big deal,

I’ve slept with a few witnesses in my day.

Same.

Sorry. My bad.

You've both done this before,

all good, sorry.

Fuck the case. Let's start a commune,

grow our hair out

and bump uglies to the Grateful Dead.

Show some respect!

If we cooperate,

he'll talk.

Tomorrow, we're talking about intimacy--

Enough, you clowns!

You're risking the lives

of parents and children with your shenanigans!

I’m taking control of the therapy

and I will not help you!

You're in no position to stop me from doing my job.

Shut up.

You're not even doing your job.

He's right, you keep messing things up.

Martin was about to snitch.

He was this close

and eating out of my hand!

You fucked up his relationship.

His fake relationship...

You're so selfish.

You've always been selfish.

You want to do this alone? Go ahead.

See if I care.

You're not my partner, or my father.

We're finished.

Fucking Jacques!

He takes up all the space.

We're always cleaning up after him.

He's never grateful.

He'd never say, "Good job."

ls that too much to ask?

Look, I can't stop talking about him.

This might be our last case together

and he screwed everything up.

I wish things had gone smoothly,

that he'd see I can take over.

I’m still talking about him. See that?

Me-me-me! Exactly like him.

Do I remind you of him?

Sometimes.

It's normal, he's scared of ageing. I’m only 37.

Seeing him with Pascale,

it's clear he's not scared of ageing,

but of growing old alone.

So...

I didn't get that either?

I’m not there, even with my dad?

I’m a lousy boyfriend and a shitty son?

Are you really pregnant?

Are you happy or disappointed?

Slightly disappointed.

Good for me? - Very good.

You owe me $100?

I’ll give you $75.

More than expected.

My pleasure.

Change of tone?

Yesss!

What's happening inside your head is great!

Just remember to breathe.

Breathe.

I’m sorry.

Thanks for being this way... with me.

I should treat you so well.

There's a part of me you don't know.

That I’m not proud of.

I’m listening.

You can trust me.

You're sweet.

If what I’m about to say got out,

it could cost me my life.

Take this to the grave, okay?

Of course.

I can't...

...bear this alone anymore.

I like...

cross-dressing.

What?

I enjoy wearing women's clothing.

I’m not gay or anything,

I like women.

You know I love women.

Inside, I’m a man, but...

I enjoy wearing women's clothing.

That's your big secret?

Expecting something else?

I dunno...

I’m shocked.

Feels good?

Real good.

Thanks for listening.

Côté. He's the one who came to us.

Let go.

I’ve got something for you.

Martin Germain and Jacques Laroche.

A crazy cop.

I’ll handle it.

Rhythm.

Essential to dancers. Couples too.

The dance you'll perform now

will reveal the state of your relationship.

Harmonious movements,

understanding each other,

anticipating.

No one can give up.

Love each other, dammit!

Music!

Forget the waltz.

Since we got here, Élissa and I

realized life is short.

Even with a kid, we can still have fun.

Because we love each other.

Sorry.

So sorry!

My love, thanks for accepting me as I am.

I haven't told you everything.

I have another secret. Here goes:

I’m a criminal.

I’ve tortured men,

even killed some.

I want to turn my life around.

I can't keep lying to you. I want to change.

Hurry!

I hope one day,

you'll forgive me.

Where's Martin Germain?

The cha-cha?

In a skirt?

You've really gone soft.

Nobody move!

Why are you here?

You should've killed me. You're screwed!

Your friends, the tattooed geezer,

the smartass and his girl, they're cops.

They wanted you to snitch.

ls that true?

Motherfuckers.

Traitors!

I can't leave any witnesses.

No choice, I’m sorry.

I didn't talk!

They have nothing.

Really?

You drank tea and talked retirement plans?

I’ll kill you all!

That way!

Come on!

Take the bus, leave with him!

Call backup!

You're a cop too?

Jesus Christ!

I’m sorry. - All good.

Ow!

Marc, go around.

You're a better cop than a shrink.

I’m a great psychologist.

It was fun while it lasted.

You made me a better man.

Could I still borrow

your little black skirt.

Don't move!

Côté, calm down!

Now you die, RuPaul.

You had an unhappy childhood...

I had a great childhood!

Calm down, Côté.

You need help.

You had a difficult childhood.

Stop talking about my childhood!

We missed you, buddy.

Good thinking.

Case closed.

Mister Laroche.

My childhood hero!

Congratulations. - Thanks.

Ciao, guys.

Lucky you were here.

It's just experience.

Amazing seeing you in action.

It was pure instinct.

I have to tell you something.

I don't want any misunderstandings.

Me neither.

I mean...

whatever happens with you and Pascale...

you should know...

you're my dad and...

you can count on me.

You won't be alone.

I’ll take care of you.

Some day.

I’ll feed you if it comes to that. And wash you.

I’ll rinse you too.

I’ll...

groom you, trim your hair,

I’ll even change your diaper!

Not now, unless you have something to tell me.

I’ll change it with my own hands.

Don't worry.

I love you, son. I'm proud of you.

Any comments, Judge?

It's a complete coincidence that we've returned

after Massarelli's arrest.

It's true I’m reassured

that he'll spend the next 40 years behind bars.

But what really matters

is that, thanks to the police's efforts,

justice has been served.

Are we there?

Almost.

Take it off.

Happy retirement!

Good luck. - Thanks.

Happy retirement. Well deserved. - Thanks.

Congrats. - Minister!

Still in office?

I’ve been made Minister of Culture. - Nice promotion!

Congrats, Dad.

I won't say "It's about time."

Congratulations,

I’m so happy for you.

She sure is happy, she got my job.

Well, well!

Have an amazing retirement!

My ex-daughter-in-law.

Tell me,

how do you do it?

What do you see in him?

So...

how's the world's worst fake therapist?

What are you all doing here?

We were in the neighbourhood

and felt like getting insulted.

Marc insisted!

This is your son?

This is Florence.

She's gorgeous.

Congratulations.

You!

Congratulations!

Thank you. Careful with your back!

So you...

We swapped.

He kisses like a god.

Carole does everything.

Congratulations!

To Jacques!

Any news from Martin?

He's cooperating, he'll get 15 years,

parole after 10.

Must be strange for you.

All part of the job.

I’m sorry.

I need time for myself.

I understand.

Are we together?

We're not.

We're not in an open relationship either. - What?!

Open, like we can see other people.

So we're faithful.

But not together.

At parties, I might kiss a girlfriend.

So can I kiss one of your girlfriends?

Well no.

Our relationship is open, just for you?

Exactly.

Am I getting screwed here?

Only by me.

I’m happy he met someone.

More than he bargained for.

Much more.

Makes you think about love.

Why's that, Kev?

Well, I dunno, uh...

Well...

that perfect someone,

who'll satisfy your every need,

who'll fill the void inside you,

doesn't exist.

Sometimes we have to accept

that love is a big let-down.

If you can't accept that it can be totally shitty,

you don't really know what love is.

Just look at you two.

You felt that Marc was there, but not there.

You wanted him to be completely there.

Marc, you thought you were there,

but you weren't really and...

now, you're still not completely there,

but you are a bit more.

That's it, really.

And that's love.

Precisely.

Thank you, Kev.

For what?

This is boring.

You bet.

Tell me something.

What?

Apache Poitras.

When you arrested him,

was it when Fripon shot you?

No, 2 different cases.

Tell me about it.

No big thing.

Fripon was the nephew of the Hells' leader.

I became his best friend.

He had no clue I was a cop.

I screwed up and slept with his sister.

You slept with the sister of the nephew of the Hells' leader.

Many times.

Fripon freaked out.

I’ve told you this story.

I like hearing it.

He took me out for Chinese food.

I had the place bugged cause I had slept

with the goddaughter of the building's owner.

You slept with the goddaughter of the building's owner?

Many times.

You slept with the goddaughter

of the Chinese restaurant's building's owner?