Original subtitles

Come on, Hank. Get that sunlamp ready.

About 15 minutes is the most I'd advise, Mr. Warriner.

Aw, 15 minutes, nothing.

I gotta get a deep Florida tan if it takes all afternoon.

Give 'er the gun.

All aboard for Miami, Palm Beach, and points south.

- Hiya, Jerry. - Hello, Frank.

- Heard you in here. How goes it? - Fine.

- Thought you'd like to play a little squash. - No, no, thanks.

Say, you're awfully white-skinned for a guy who just had two weeks in Florida.

Yeah, that's what / thought.

What'd you do down there, carry a parasol? Or didn't you go?

Ah-ah-ah-ah. Don't go spreading that around, Frank.

Uh-huh. Pulling a fast one on the little wife, eh?

Now, look, Frank, I'm surprised at you.

I'm supposed to have been in Florida.

Now, supposing one of Lucy's friends says to her,

"Well, why isn't he tanned?"

Lucy's gonna be embarrassed.

Well, I'm gonna be tanned and Lucy's not gonna be embarrassed.

And what wives don't know won't hurt them. And what you don't know won't hurt you.

All right. I don't want to know. Anyhow, how about coming by the house?

A bunch of us were out late last night and they're coming by for a late breakfast.

Hey, I got a better idea. Why don't you come over to my place for egg nogs and breakfast?

And maybe later this afternoon, we can duck the women and play some golf.

- Swell, boy. You got me convinced. - Okay.

- See you later, Jerry. - So long, Frank.

Come on in.

Hey, Lucy!

Lucy!

That man is here!

Maybe she wasn't expecting you.

Oh, no, she's around somewhere.

Put your things down anywhere.

- Hello, Celeste. - Hello, Mr. Warriner.

- You're looking well. - Thank you, Celeste.

And vice versa.

Celeste, where's Mrs. Warriner?

Look what I brought her all the way from Florida. Where is she?

- She's out. - She's out?

Mmm. Well, never mind, Celeste.

Go and get some egg nogs and we'll find something to drink to.

- Come on, gang, enter. - We certainly will.

Hmm.

Mr. Smith! Look who's here!

Come on, Come on, boy, up! Attaboy!

You get my postcard? Say, where's Mama?

Hey, look, look, I got something for you. Look, look, look.

Ah! Come on, come on, get it.

Come on. Come on, boy.

Go on. Go get it. Go on.

What are you doing, reading my mail?

Several letters there for your wife.

Yesterday's too.

Hmm.

I hope Lucy comes back looking as well as you do.

Well, she's probably up at her Aunt Patsy's.

She always goes up there when she gets lonely.

Thank you, Celeste. I'll take it up from here.

- Jerry. - What?

Suppose her Aunt Patsy wasn't home.

I get it. I'm up to my neck in funny people, huh?

No, seriously, I wish Lucy would go out and get some fun for herself now and again.

Do her good.

That's the trouble with most marriages today.

People are always imagining things.

The road to Reno is paved with suspicions.

The first thing you know, they all end up in a divorce court.

The broad-minded man from the Rio Grande.

I know.

But if you think I'm gonna get a chance to prove my broad-mindedness any minute, you're crazy.

No, Lucy's really up at her Aunt Patsy's cabin. I'd bet on it.

Incidentally, what a swell spot that is.

Oh. Good fishing.

Sometimes on a clear day, across that lake you can see for...

You can...

Um... Mmm.

Uh...

Uh, um, Mrs. Barnsley,

Miss Heath, Mr. Barnsley, and Mr. Randall, uh...

Aunt Patsy.

Any idea where Lucy is?

Do you know she invited me to this...

Well!

Darling!

Hello, dear!

Oh, how grand and brown you are!

- Hello, Patsy dear. Did you miss me? - Gee, it's good to see you.

- Been thinking about me? - You bet. Look what I brought you.

- Oh, all the way from Florida? - Yeah.

Bless your heart!

Oh. You know Armand Duvalle, dear.

Come on in, Armand.

Mr. Duvalle, this is my aunt, Miss Adams,

Mr. and Mrs. Barnsley, Miss Heath, and Mr. Randall.

Well, if we haven't had the nาost terrible tinาe.

Armand's car broke down last night a million miles from nowhere

and we had to stay at the nastiest little inn you ever saw.

No modern conveniences at all. It was dreadful.

We were on our way home from the junior prom.

A pupil of Armand's invited us.

And, oh, well, it's a long story, but I must...

Hello there. Hello, boy.

You know, your wife, oh, she was the loveliest woman in the party.

Oh, Armand, you always say the nicest things.

Here... Well, isn't that cute? You bring him that, dear?

- Yes. - Go on, catch it. Go on, catch.

Were you disappointed when I wasn't here, darling?

Not at all. After all, you didn't expect me.

And, um, you'll forgive me for my car's imperfect performance?

Why, of course. I'm sorry the inn was so, uh, inconvenient.

That's the only thing that bothers me.

You know, your husband is not like the average American man.

No, no, he is free of all mean suspicion.

Yes, he has more the...

the continental mind, yes?

Mmm, yes, that's right. I have a continental nาind.

- Will you have an egg nog? - Oh, thank you.

Huh.

Well, I don't know what kind of a mind Jerry's got, continental or cockeyed,

but he's a wonder.

Now, if I stayed out all night

and came waltzing in with the handsome Mr. Duvalle

and said the car broke down...

It did. Why should Jerry be angry? I didn't build the car.

You're perfectly right, dear.

Of course I am.

Can't have a happy married life if you're always going to be suspicious of each other.

Right again. Mm-hmm.

- Little nutmeg? - Please, please.

But I don't know why I'm boring all of you with private matters.

Oh, we're not bored.

No one's interested in my night's adventure except Jerry,

and he knows it's innocent just as well as he knows that...

Well, that he just got back from Florida.

I... I see what you mean.

Uh, more drinks, everybody? There's lots left.

No, no, no, thank you. I think we'd better be going.

Well, you don't all have to go, do you?

Go?

- No. - Oh. Hmm.

- Well, it's silly to go so soon. - We must go, really.

Aunt Patsy dear, where are you going? I haven't even had a chance to talk to you.

I'll see you later, my dear.

I always say, four's a crowd.

- Four's a cr... - Well, there's something in what she says.

Thank you.

Say, are you hungry?

Well, to tell you the truth, I'm starved.

Well, why don't you go out and grab yourself a bite.

A big, strong fella like you ought to take care of himself.

Why, Mr. Warriner, what have I done?

If you speak of last night, I assure you...

- Jerry, you don't believe... - We'll discuss it in private.

That is, if Mr. Duvalle can remember where we keep our door.

Jerry!

Well, in all fairness you should permit me to remain and explain ourselves.

Well, American women aren't accustomed to gallantry, Armand.

I appreciate your offer, but maybe you had better go.

Oh, pardon me, Mrs. Warriner. You misunderstand.

I am a voice teacher, am I not?

- For one year she has been my pupil. - Hmm.

And from time to time I pat her on the back.

- Oh, that's nice. - I mean, I-I congratulate her on her, uh...

- development. - Is that so?

- Do I express myself? - Oh, yes, you've been doing all right.

But now my position must be considered.

I have never yet been in a scandal.

- Never been caught, huh? - No.

I am a great teacher, not a great lover.

That's right, Armand. No one could ever accuse you of being a great lover.

- Huh? - Hnาnา?

That is, I mean to say, well...

Well, who's to say whether you are or not? It's all so silly.

But maybe you had better go.

I really don't know what to say.

Yeah, well, if you go, you won't have to say anything, will you?

- Perhaps it is best this way, Mrs. Warriner. - I think so. Yeah, I think so.

- I will see you soon? - Yes.

It has been all so perfect.

Thank you for everything.

Take another bow.

That wasn't a bad performance, considering no rehearsals or anything.

Why, Mr. Warriner, you are out of your continental mind.

That was funny at that, what he said about your continental mind.

Oh, undoubtedly he has a better sense of humor than I have too.

Oh, no, no. I beg to differ with you there.

Right now you're twice as funny as he ever thought of being.

- Quit stalling, Lucy. - Well, I'm not trying...

Or perhaps our marriage doesn't mean anything to you.

- Oh, but it does. - Perhaps you have no sentiment left for me.

Look at this.

Look. A letter I wrote you.

But did you care when you read it? No. No.

You knew there'd be a letter from me every morning,

but you were far too busy with Armand Duvalle to give it a thought.

It's enough to destroy one's faith, isn't it?

Oh, I haven't any faith left in anyone.

I know just how you feel.

Mmm. What do you mean?

You didn't happen to mention it in any of your letters

what a terrible rainy spell they were having in Florida.

- The papers were full of it. - Oh.

Well, uh... Well, I can explain that, Lucy.

- You can? - Yeah. And don't try to change the subject.

You think a great offense is a great defense.

Don't try to justify your behavior by insinuating things about me.

But I haven't any behavior to justify. I've just been unlucky, that's all.

You've come home and caught me in a truth,

and it seems there's nothing less logical than the truth.

Mmm, a philosopher, huh?

- You don't believe me. - Oh, how can I believe you?

"The car broke down." People stopped believing that one before cars started breaking down.

- Well, his car's very old. - Yeah, well, so's his story.

- Let me tell you something... - No, let me tell you something.

I've told you the truth about all this, Jerry.

Don't you see that... There can't be any doubt in marriage.

The whole thing's built on faith.

If you've lost that, well, you've lost everything.

Yes, I suppose when that's gone the marriage is washed up, isn't it?

- Do you mean that? - Uh-huh.

- All right, then that settles it. - Well, I guess it does.

I wouldn't go on living with you if you were dipped in platinum.

So go on, divorce me. Go on, divorce me. It'll be a pleasure.

Divorce you? Are you crazy?

Do you think I'd drag that music lover into court

to show people the man you prefer to me?

All right, then I'll divorce you. I believe it's customary anyhow for the wife to bring suit.

It has something to do with the husband being a gentleman, if you know what I mean.

Oh, never mind that stuff. Just get on with the divorce proceedings.

- I can hardly wait. - I'll call up our lawyer right now.

All right, here.

If you don't mind my using him. I don't know anyone else.

- You get around so much more than I do. - Is that so?

Hello?

Hello, Lucy.

What's that? Divorce?

You and Jerry?

Now, now, Lucy, don't do anything in haste that you might regret later.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, and you should give it every...

Why can't they call you back after we've finished eating?

Please be quiet, will you?

You seem agitated, Lucy. Try and calm yourself.

I hate to see you take any hasty action in a matter like this.

- Marriage is a beautiful thing, and... - Why don't you finish your meal?

- Why can't they call you back later? - Please shut your mouth!

As I was saying, Lucy, marriage is a beautiful thing,

and when you've been married as long as I have, you'll appreciate it too.

Your food is getting ice-cold. You're always complaining about your food.

- How do you expect me to... - Will you shut your big mouth!

I'll eat when I get good and ready,

and if you don't like it you know what you can do.

So shut up!

Lucy darling, marriage is a beautiful thing.

Now, you see? Because you was a naughty dog, they made you leave the room. Come on.

In the case of Warriner v. Warriner,

the court grants an interlocutory decree of divorce

in favor of the plaintiff, Lucy Warriner.

The divorce, if not further contested, will become final 90 days from this date.

The plaintiff and the defendant will then be at liberty to make other marriages,

if such be their desire.

Uh, one moment, Your Honor. There's a matter still unsettled.

The matter about, um, uh...

- Mr. Smith. - Uh, yes, Your Honor. Mr. Smith.

- Who is Mr. Smith? - Uh, Mr. Smith is their dog.

Uh-huh. Mr. Smith is my dog.

- Is that so? - Uh, silence!

But you see, Mr. Smith belongs to me and she has him.

Very well. Go ahead with the matter.

The animal is now in the possession of Mrs. Warriner.

It was he whom you ordered from the courtroom at the beginning of the trial for contempt.

Mr. Warriner wishes to have him because, uh...

- Because he's mine. - He is not.

Oh, he is too.

- He is not. - Silence!

Is not.

Mrs. Warriner, will you step up here and tell me

why you persist in regarding the dog as your personal property

in order that the court may decide whether or not he is to remain in your possession.

Nothing would please me more.

Your Honor, I saw Mr. Smith first.

It was in that pet shop on Madison Avenue. You know the one I mean.

Oh, you don't? It's between 47th and 4... Or is that...

It's frightfully immaterial.

Well, you oughta know.

Anyway, I decided to buy Mr. Smith,

but I turned away for just a moment to look at a Persian kitten.

Do you like cats?

I don't either.

So I turned right around again, and here was this man holding Mr. Smith in his arms.

"Pardon me," I said, "but I'm buying this puppy."

And then he just smiled at me.

And then somehow, all of the sudden the three of us were having lunch together...

the man and Mr. Smith and I.

And then things began to happen rather swiftly,

and finally I said, "Well, I think we'd better get married."

And we did, and that way we were able to give Mr. Smith a better home

and live happily ever after.

- U-Until now. - I see.

Well, in these custody cases, Mrs. Warriner,

we frequently allow the final decision to rest with the party in question.

You mean, Mr. Smith?

Send for the dog.

Custody of the dog will depend on his own desires.

- Mr. Warriner, will you step up here, please. - Yes, Your Honor. Excuse me.

Unfasten him.

You may each call the dog.

- Mr. Smith. Hey, come on. Come on, boy. - Schmitty. Schmitty. Schmitty!

- Boy, look up here. Look. Schmitty. Schmitty. - Come on, fella. Aw, come on.

- Schmitty. Mr. Smith. Look up here. - Come on, boy. Hey. Come on, fella.

- Boy! - Don't pay attention to that. Come on, boy!

- Look up here. Look up here. - Come on, Smith.

- You know me. - Come on, boy! Come on, boy!

You don't wanna miss those fishing trips. Come on!

Schmitty! Schmitty! Schmitty!

- Look up here. - No, don't... Come on!

- Schmitty. Schmitty! - Schmitty!

- Schmitty! Ah! - Hey, listen...

I win, don't I?

Custody of the dog is awarded to Mrs. Warriner.

- Well! - Your Honor, I don't think that's quite fair.

I ought to be able to see the dog twice a month or something.

- I'll take it under advisement. - Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Good-bye, Your Honor.

- You won't forget to do that, will you, Judge? - I'll take it under advisement.

Yes, but when will you know?

Mmm. Look at that rain.

Why? Is it doing anything besides falling?

I don't think so.

Nothing unusual ever happens around here.

Oh, Patty, I'm sorry you're so bored tonight.

Why tonight? I've been bored for a month.

If I'd known we were going to be buried side by side,

I never would've taken this apartment with you.

Well, I wouldn't have asked you to come and live with me if I'd known that...

that a sort of, uh, readjustment takes place after divorce.

Mmph. "Readjustment," my foot.

That's just another word for "moping around."

Oh, don't be silly.

Anyhow, where can two women go alone?

You know dozens of men who would turn handsprings at the chance to take you out.

Here I've got you all dressed up, ready to go out,

and you weaken and refuse.

Ah, you're just an old grouch, that's all.

I want to go where there's life, and I don't mean plant life.

I want to go to the theater, you know,

and go places later and step around and do things.

- Well, you can't go in all this rain. - Why not?

- No taxis? - No escort.

Well, unless there's a new ruling, I don't need an escort to get a drink.

I'm going down to the bar and see Joe.

Bartender or no bartender, he's still a man. Maybe he knocks off early.

Oh, Patty, you wouldn't!

I wouldn't, eh? You're talking to a desperate woman.

Hello, Schmitty. Come on up, boy. Come on.

Come on, come on. Isn't he cute?

Too bad he can't wear a top hat.

Did you hear what she said?

♪ Oh, give me a home ♪

I wonder if you'd do me a favor.

Well... Well, of course, that all depends.

I never talk...

Imagine your living right across the hall from us all of this time.

I think it's just wonderful that we've met this way.

Yeah.

Uh, Lucy, may I present Mr. Leeson.

Mr. Leeson, this is my niece you were so anxious to meet.

Her name is Lucy Warriner.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- Won't you sit down? - Thanks.

Mr. Leeson's just from Oklahoma, Lucy. He's a stranger in town.

He'd take it as being real neighborly of us if we show him some of the bright spots.

Oh, he would?

Well, it's raining awfully hard. I don't think...

That's just exactly what I said. I said I don't think the rain will stop us.

Besides, I think it'll let up in a few minutes, Miss Warriner.

Mr. Leeson's a neighbor of ours. He lives just across the hall with his mother.

- Isn't that what you said? With your mother? - That's right. With my mother.

We're here on a visit. I'm in oil, you know.

Marinated, so to speak.

Say, that's a good one!

I gotta remember to tell that to my mother!

Mr. Leeson, won't you tell us something about Oklahoma?

Well, Oklahoma's pretty swell.

I got quite a ranch down there.

Like to have you see it sometime, Miss Warriner.

Oh, well, I don't get out there very...

I got cattle and horses and chickens and alfalfa and...

- Hello, Jerry. - Hello, Patsy, old girl. How are things?

Uh, we weren't expecting you.

Why? What goes on, huh? Mm-hmm.

Hiya, fella! Hello, Mr. Smith! How you been, huh?

I'll see you in a minute, boy. Yeah, sure.

Hello, Jerry.

- Hello, Lucy. - What might you be doing here?

Oh, now, don't tell me you've forgotten this is my day to visit Mr. Smith.

- It says so right there. - What...

Oh. I'm so sorry. Mr. Leeson, this is my husband.

Oh, uh, I didn't know...

Oh, he's only my husband for... How much longer is it now? Sixty days?

- Fifty-nine. - Ah, that's better.

Only 59 days.

Don't worry about him. He has a continental mind.

- Yes. - Oh.

Well, uh... hi there.

- Excuse me. What did you say? - I say I'm glad to know ya.

How can you be glad to know me?

I know how I'd feel if I was sitting with a girl and her husband walked in.

I'll bet you do.

You know, I don't think you ought to go around telling people you're not married.

He looks like a nice sort of fella. How do you think he feels?

Why don't you go and play with the dog.

Why don't you go, uh... on with whatever you were doing.

I'm gonna... Don't mind me.

Hello, fella. Come on, come on.

Any new dogs in the neighborhood?

Been chasing any cats?

Come on, sit down, Mr. Leeson.

- Tell me some more about Arizona. - Uh, Oklahoma.

I mean, Oklahoma. That's me for you.

Hey, is he getting enough to eat lately? He doesn't look very well.

Well, you don't look so hot yourself.

I don't think he's getting enough exercise. He's got circles under his eyes.

Okay.

- The court ruled he could visit every so often. - What about a tune, boy?

Yes, there's nothing we can do about it.

- No? - No.

But don't mind that, Mr. Leeson. Go right ahead.

Attaboy. Get onto it!

Uh, of course my main business is oil.

- Oil. - Yes.

Take it!

Well, I've done pretty well.

I have my ranch. My hobby is horses.

I get it. Hobby horses.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

- Good-bye, Jerry. - Uh, good-bye, Warriner.

What's the matter?

Are you sure you don't like that fella?

Like him? You saw the way I treated him, didn't you?

Oh, that's what I mean.

Back on my ranch I got a little red rooster and a little brown hen,

and they fight all the time too.

But every once in a while they make up again and they're right friendly.

♪ Oh, give me a home Where the buffalo roam ♪

- Morning, Ma. - Well, what about it?

- It was almost daylight when you came in. - I had the most wonderful time.

- I met a girl that... - That's what I thought.

- You keep your mind off women. - I can't, Ma.

You can't, eh? That's what your father always said.

Well, of course I like Dan Leeson. Why shouldn't I? He's sweet and thoughtful.

You should be the last one to object. You introduced him to me.

Only because he was a man who could take us out.

I didn't expect you to get silly about him.

Well, is there anything wrong in liking a man who's sane and considerate?

I was married to one who was insane and inconsiderate.

Your toast is burning.

- What's her name? - Lucy Warriner.

Probably an alias or somethin'.

You're gonna laugh at yourself for talking that way about Lucy when you meet her.

She won't want to meet me.

She knows that any other woman could see right through her.

Wish you wouldn't talk that way about Lucy, Ma. I'm crazy about her.

I believe she kinda likes me too. Ma, I think I'm in love.

Do you know what "rebound" is?

That business of trying to get over one love by bouncing into love with somebody else?

It's fine, except the rebound is rarely the real thing.

As a matter of fact, it's the bunk.

There's the first bounce, and the second bounce, and...

Well, look at me. You wind up like an old tennis ball.

Well, I'm serious about Dan Leeson. I like him. I like him very much.

I'm all through with Jerry. He doesn't mean a thing to me.

I don't love him, and what's more, I probably never did.

I'm sure I never loved him. And now I hate him.

That surprises you, doesn't it?

I hate Jerry Warriner, and I like Dan Leeson very, very much,

and I hope he's just crazy about me because I think he's the finest nาan I ever nาet.

I know. My toast is burning.

Say, you're awful sweet and all that,

but y'always seem to have your mind on somethin' else.

Or maybe it's someone else. Is it, sugar pie?

Oh, no, no. I'm in love with love.

- Mm-hmm. - Oh.

In the spring, a young man's fancy likely turns to, uh...

what's he's been thinking about all winter.

How long you been talking like Amos and Andy, huh?

Oh, for quite some time.

I got wise to the fact that it helps me in my work.

So, as long as I live for my work, y'all'l have to pardon my Southern accent.

Well, shut my mouth. Who's that gorgeous-lookin' creature?

Hmm?

Well, have you heard that gag that's been flying around town lately?

"Who was that lady I saw you with?"

Oh, you mean, that's no lady, that's your wife?

Mm-hmm.

You know, I like this place best of all the spots we been to.

- You do? - Maybe it's because I'm so happy.

Just think of it, Lucy. You're gonna be my wife.

Yes, I am thinking of it.

I've hoped for it ever since that first night I met you.

I can hardly wait for your final decree to come along.

It'll come along, Dan.

Incidentally, um, h-here's my husband coming along.

- Well, hello, folks! - Hello.

Uh, this is Dixie Belle Lee. This is Mrs. Warriner.

And this is Mr. Leeson, the gentleman that Mrs. Warriner is going to marry.

- How do you do? - Mighty fine meetin' you all.

Well, come along.

Now, uh... Now, you're sure we're not intruding.

Uh, what do you mean?

Wouldn't you like us to have a drink?

Oh, uh, why, yes, of course.

Just sit down.

My, isn't this cozy?

So, um... So you two are going to be married.

I was glad to hear that.

I said to myself, "That Leeson's just the man for Lucy."

- And then I said to myself... - He's always talking to himself.

- It's a charming place, don't you think? - Do you really like it, honey?

- Uh-huh. - I'm so glad.

- I almost feel like the place is mine. - You come here often?

I work here. Didn't y'all know that?

Oh, no.

You're from the South, aren't ya?

Well, now, isn't he just the cleverest gent?

How'd y'all ever guess that, Mr. Man?

I don't know. It was just a shot in the dark.

But Dixie Belle Lee isn't her real name.

- Oh, no? - Oh, no, no.

She changed it, you see, because her family objected to her going into show business.

Isn't that right?

Yeah, my folks really thought I was goin' to the dogs when I decided to go to work.

I'll sure you'll be a big success, and then they'll be proud of you.

Well, thank you. It's real nice of you to say that.

I guess I better go now and get ready. Reckon y'all can stay and see my act?

- Oh, of course we'll stay. - Nothing could drag us away.

See ya later, honey child.

- She seems like a nice girl. - Yes, indeed.

But enough about Dixie Belle for the moment. Let's talk about yourselves.

Ah, so you're gonna live in Oklahoma, eh, Lucy? How I envy you.

Ever since I was a small boy, that name has been filled with magic for me.

Oklahoma.

We're gonna live right in Oklahoma City.

Not Oklahoma City itself!

Lucy, you lucky girl.

No more running around the night spots.

No more prowling around in New York shops.

I shall think of you every time a new show opens and say to myself,

"She's well out of it."

New York's all right for a visit,

- but I wouldn't want to live here. - But you wouldn't want to live here.

I know I'll enjoy Oklahoma City.

But of course.

And if it should get dull, you can always go over to Tulsa for the weekend.

I think a big change like that does one good, don't you?

That's right.

Say, I know this isn't quite the place,

but Lucy tells me you two own a coal mine.

- What about it? - Oh, uh, yes.

Uh, Mr. Leeson thought that maybe he'd like to buy your interest.

That is, if the price is right.

I-I was telling Mr. Leeson...

I mean, Daniel...

About how badly we were doing,

and he thought that maybe he could do better with it.

Hmm. I suppose you told him there wasn't any coal in it too.

Well, if you're interested, you might bring me round the data tomorrow.

I'm very lucky.

You know what they call me back home?

Daniel.

I can guess.

♪ I used to dream ♪

♪ About a cottage small ♪

♪ A cottage small ♪

♪ By a waterfa/I ♪

♪ But / wound up ♪

♪ With no home at all ♪

♪ My dreams are gone ♪

♪ With the wind ♪

♪ All through my life ♪

♪ I drifted with the tides ♪

♪ I let romance ♪

♪ Take me for a ride ♪

♪ I'm just a fool ♪

♪ With nothin' to hide ♪

♪ My dreams are gone ♪

♪ With the wind ♪

♪ Once my love and I ♪

♪ Would stroll beneath the sky ♪

♪ Hand in hand together ♪

♪ But now I'm all alone ♪

♪ And when romance has flown ♪

♪ There's bound to be stormy weather ♪

♪ I thought mypathway ♪

♪ Would be paved with gold ♪

♪ I cast my dreams ♪

♪ In a lovely mold ♪

♪ But now / know ♪

♪ I'm out in the cold ♪

I just met her.

♪ My dreams are gone ♪

♪ With the wind ♪

♪ Gone with the wind ♪

I guess it was easier for her to change her name

than for her whole family to change theirs.

That'd go great out west.

Seemed to go pretty well with the cowboy here.

You, uh, wanna change the subject?

Look, why don't you two get up and dance. Or don't you dance?

Uh, Lucy doesn't care much about dancing.

Didn't you know that?

Look, did Lucy tell you that?

She's holding out on you. She's a beautiful dancer.

Why, I used to call her "Twinkle Toes."

Hello, Twinkle Toes.

Have you been foolin' me, you little rascal?

Well, to tell you the truth, Dan, I didn't think you cared much about it.

Care about it? Why, I could dance till the cows come home.

I've won several cups at it myself.

We never won any cups.

Maybe you had the wrong partner.

Yeah, there's a lot in what you say.

- Can I have this waltz, Lucy? - Oh, of course.

- Yes, sir. - Give this to the orchestra leader.

Tell him to play the same number again for an encore.

Yes, sir.

More!

♪ Oh, give me a home ♪

♪ Where the buffalo roam ♪

♪ Where the deer ♪

♪ And the ante/ope play ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard ♪

♪ A discouraging word ♪

Come on, sing.

♪ And the skies are not cloudy ♪

- ♪ Orgray ♪ - ♪ All day ♪

"All day," it is. "All day."

- Oh, I'm so sorry. - That's all right.

♪ Home ♪

♪ Home on the range ♪

♪ Where the deer ♪

♪ And the ante/ope play ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard ♪

♪ A discouraging word ♪

♪ And the skies ♪

♪ Are not cloudy ♪

♪ All day ♪

♪ Aaaaaay ♪

Ah, not bad!

- Thanks. Never had a lesson in my life. - You don't say.

- Have you? - Well, uh, yes.

Let's sing another one.

That must be him now.

- Hello, Warriner. - Hello, Leeson.

- Hello, Lucy. - Hello, Jerry.

- Glad you dropped up. - Thanks.

I really am very much interested in that mine of yours.

Yes, well, I've brought along all the records and history of the...

You know, funny thing. I've looked all over for McCall's report on that mine.

I can't find it anywhere. You must have it.

- Maybe I have. - Do me a favor, will you.

The next chance you get, look through your stocking drawer.

She always hides important things in the top drawer of her dresser.

- She does? - Oh, yes, yes.

Every legal paper we had smelled of sachet.

It did?

Even the marriage certificate.

Say, remember when the clerk asked to see it and you couldn't find it?

We had a bunch of pals at the hotel.

They kept ribbing us all night.

Remember when they sent the bellboy?

Gosh, we didn't want ice water.

- Oh? - Mm-mmm.

Um, what's the matter?

Oh, well, when you two are married the three of us can talk more freely.

Now about this mine business.

You know, this place was formerly owned by the Fullerton brothers.

They, uh... They...

Hmm.

You, uh... You've, uh... You've heard of the Fullerton brothers, haven't you?

Oh, yes.

Well, it seems they didn't know much about the mining situation in Pennsylvania.

Their racket was mainly...

Oh, hello, Ma!

- Hello. - Hello, Mrs. Leeson.

Hello, Lucy.

Ma, this is Mr. Jerry Warriner.

- Not, uh... - Yes, ma'am, that's right.

We've got a little business proposition we've been discussing.

Oh, I see.

- It's funny seeing you. - It is?

Well, it's funny seeing you.

Well, what I mean is,

I was at a tea this afternoon where some people were speaking of you.

- Oh. - And of Lucy too.

They knew you both, uh, before the divorce.

I imagine you'll run into dozens of people who knew us before the divorce.

Ah, yes, yes. We used to get around quite a lot.

Didn't we?

Well, they spoke very well of you.

They said you were a real gentleman.

- Oh, now, did they, really? - Oh! Good for you!

And they were talking of Lucy too.

You know, you do sing divinely, dear.

But I'd never realized till this afternoon that you'd had a teacher.

And a very handsome one, I understand.

Do you know, Lucy, there was a woman there...

If I hadn't been a lady, I would have slapped her face.

- Well, why didn't you? - I wish I had, because she insinuated...

Well, as a matter of fact, she... she didn't even insinuate.

Well, she was talking about your divorcing Mr. Warriner.

Well...

Well, she came right out and said that it should have been...

Well...

Well, no matter, no matter.

Mmm. No matter, no matter.

"No matter."

Let's get down to business, eh, Leeson? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

If I'd had time to work this mine myself, I could have made a fortune.

But I was always too busy making money for other people.

Yes, a whole section up there is simply crying for someone to go in

who has the time and money to give it.

Mm-hmm.

I think if you could sink a shaft in this north corner, right about here...

Wait a minute. Let me show you something.

I think I ought to tell you, Jerry, nobody's listening to you.

The gal's name needs clearin', partner.

Oh, I wouldn't go so far as to say that.

But I'm sure Mr. Warriner is pleased at the opportunity

to... to deny the silly story I heard this afternoon.

Why, certainly, Mrs. Leeson, certainly. What is it?

Lucy, this woman said that Mr. Warriner permitted you to bring proceedings

so that...

Well, uh, so that your reputation wouldn't be ruined.

There. It's out. I know it's silly, but...

Oh, of course it's silly, Mrs. Leeson. And so are you.

- What? - See here, Warriner.

Ah, no, I mean it's silly for your mother to believe such nonsense.

Oh.

You see, Mrs. Leeson, our divorce was one of those tragedies

that you read about in the papers.

A trusting woman and a worthless man.

I was never good enough for Lucy and, well, finally she found it out.

Lucy is above suspicion and always has been.

She's as pure as the driven snow,

as faithful as she is fair.

And I would that I had been worthy to kiss the hem of her garment.

Never during our marital bliss did she cause me one moment's uneasiness.

Never did I have to ask, "Lucy, where have you been? What were you doing?"

I always knew.

I tell you, something wonderful went out of my life when I lost her.

- I know just how you feel. - How do you know?

How can you know how it feels to have used up the best years of a woman's life?

Well, of course, that's the way it goes.

Excuse me. You're sitting on my prospectus.

Huh? Oh! Oh, well...

Dan...

take those and look them over and let me know.

And, Dan... take good care of her.

Well, I'll be going now.

Yes, Dan, take good care of her.

Maybe you'll succeed where I failed.

And I'm sure that, uh, the three of you will be very happy out where the West begins.

If you ever think of me, send me a postcard.

Just say, "Having a wonderful time."

I'll understand.

Good-bye now.

Well, Ma, are you convinced about everything?

What about the music teacher?

Look, you two settle things for yourselves and let me know how it comes out.

Put a light in the window if it's "yes," two if it's "no,"

and if you can't make up your minds just pull down the shade.

Oh, Ma.

♪ Oh, give me a home Where the buffalo roam ♪

♪ And the deer and the ante/ope play ♪

♪ Where seldom is... ♪ Hello there.

And what are you doing in my apartment, if I'm not too inquisitive?

Well, I thought after that swell reference I gave you, I ought to have a drink.

Wish I'd mixed it for you.

I see what you mean.

I certainly do appreciate all those charming things you had to say about me.

If ever I get the chance, I hope I can do as much for you.

Oh, it was nothing at all, Lucy. I try to go through life...

I know. Spreading a little sunshine as you go.

No, no, frankly, I was worried about you, Lucy.

Uh, you've never asked for money and...

Well, do you need any?

No, I think I can struggle along without any help from you.

I figured you'd made a bad investment or something.

- Oh, no. I only made one bad investment. - Ah, don't bite me.

I just thought that maybe, uh, Buffalo Bill's millions might have something to do with...

That's nothing to do with anything.

Millions or no millions, he's a very charming person.

I've seen him.

I can't possibly interpret this as jealousy.

Oh, no. Mm-mmm.

No, I've come out from behind those clouds.

I, uh... I've taken a definite turn for the better.

Nothing's gonna hurt me anymore.

Oh, that's too bad, Jerry.

- Oh, did it hurt too much? - Oh, no, no.

- Just the one hand? - Yes, just the one hand.

- Aww. - Well, I'll be going.

I always like to leave people laughing.

You're sure there's nothing I can get you for it?

No, no, I'm a stout fellow. I'll carry on.

Ohh.

- Hey, where's Mr. Smith, huh? - Out with Aunt Patsy.

Oh.

Uh, Lucy, tell me something before I go, will you?

- What do you see in this fella? - Oh, none of your business.

No, no, no, not that I care, but, uh,

what kind of a mind could he have that would impress you, huh?

You might be surprised. You could take a few lessons and profit nicely.

You'd be surprised what I'd give to get an earful of that.

- Oh-ho. - You would.

I couldn't wait to see you, Lucy. I had to tell you how awful I feel about what happened.

- Oh, don't worry now. That's so silly. - Well, you'll have to forgive Ma.

- She's kind of old-fashioned. - Of course I forgive your mother. She's a doll.

- You won't hold it against her? - No, I won't hold it against her.

You run along and get dressed for dinner. We're going to be awfully late.

I'm a lot quicker than you are.

Just to prove that you're not mad, will you give me a little kiss?

Oh, Dan, right out here in the hall and everything? Don't be so silly.

- There's nobody around. - You never can tell when there's sonาeone around.

- Then I'll come in. - Oh, no, Dan.

I wouldn't come in if I were you. We're going to be awfully late.

Don't be bashful, Lucy.

Well, I'm not bashful, but I've never kissed you before,

and I don't think this is exactly the place.

Gosh, if you knew how crazy I am about you, you wouldn't hesitate.

- I can't sleep nights. - Why don't you take some hot milk?

I guess I must be in love, 'cause I started writing poetry to you.

Poe... Oh, dear. Well.

I was going to surprise you with it at dinner, but it's short.

It goes like this:

"To you, my little prairie flower, I'm thinking of you every hour.

Though now you're just a friend to me, I wonder what the end will be."

Oh, excuse me, Dan.

I do laugh at the oddest times. I never can tell...

You see what I mean?

Well...

"Oh, you would make my life divine if you would change your name to mine."

Well, that's really... That's beautiful, Dan. It's really beautiful.

Oh, there's my phone.

You've got to go now, Dan, really.

Hello?

You haven't forgotten about tomorrow?

Well, look, um, I have company.

Oh, well, wait a minute. Just hold the phone.

Um...

There. Now go on, Dan. I'll see you later. Go on, Dan.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, Lucy!

You've made me the happiest man in the world.

Dreamed of this moment for days. Now it's all come true.

Oh, Dan. Really.

Oh, Dan, really!

I'll go home now and dress for dinner.

I'm so... I'm so happy, I could eat three steaks!

Oh.

Hello?

Telephone?

- Hello. - Can I expect you tomorrow?

At three o'clock tomorrow afternoon.

Yes, I think that would be convenient.

Very well then. Three o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Good-bye.

- Who was that? - Why should it interest you?

Well, it's... Say, wait a minute. After all, the final decree isn't in yet.

Well, if you must know, it was my masseuse.

My who?

Oh, I've heard everything.

I'm going out to get some popcorn and pink lemonade.

I've just seen a three-ring circus.

Armand Duvalle in?

- Please, your name? - Jerry Warriner. Is my wife here?

Please, I do not know.

What do you mean, you don't know?

Please, I only know I don't know.

- Yeah, you wouldn't mind if I looked around? - Me jujitsu.

- Me jujitsu, eh? - Is that so?

Me jujitsu too.

Oh. You must not go inside. You must not disturb him.

Oh, I can't go in? He must not be disturbed? Let go of it.

♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha ♪

Ah, you should have seen your master this afternoon.

Come on, sit up, boy. Come on, sit up.

Up, up, up.

No, better still, I'll tell you...

Go hide your eyes, and I'll give it to you that way.

Go on, hide your eyes.

Five, ten, 15, 20, 25. Oh, no, now, no peeking.

Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35.

You ready? All right then. Come on, come on.

Aw, you're too smart.

Oh, honestly, Patty, you should have seen Jerry this afternoon.

And when that chair started to slip from under him...

I will say that for Jerry. He's never dull.

Oh, he was so silly though.

I know he thought he'd find me in Arnาand's arnาs.

He must have been terribly disappointed.

He must have felt awful about not finding you two in a clinch.

Jerry's always had the most fantastic way of getting into scrapes.

Oh, we've had some grand laughs together.

Mmm, but a girl really wants dependability and security.

Yes, I suppose she does.

She ought to buy an annuity. Be more fun than leasing.

- Patty... - Don't explain. I'm not marrying him.

Patty, that's just what I want to tell you. I'm not either.

I can't marry him because I'm still in love with that crazy lunatic,

and there's nothing I can do about it.

But, Patty, uh, here and there, now and then,

- I've done a few things for you, haven't I? - Yes.

Well, here's a note that I've written to Dan, explaining exactly why I can't marry him.

I could never phrase anything in person as beautifully as I have in this note.

But now I've kind of lost my nerve about giving it to him.

Do you think you could sort of see that he gets it?

- I should say so. - Well, I tried to forget Jerry.

I know. That's why you jumped at Leeson as though he were the last man on earth.

I'll answer that.

Well, every time I open the door, somebody walks in.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- Oh, hello, Armand. - You sent for me, madame?

Yes, I've been so embarrassed about what happened in front of your guests this afternoon,

why, I couldn't get out of the place soon enough.

Your husband is a very funny man, isn't he?

Well, I'm convinced he must care about me, or he wouldn't do the funny things he does.

Yes, but he doesn't care much about me.

No. No, no. Armand, that's just what I'm getting at.

Look, I-I'm wondering, could you do me a favor?

Oh, but of course.

Well, I've been thinking, uh, uh...

I wonder if you could convince him

that everything was just as I said it was that night at the inn.

- You know, the night. - Oh, I'll be glad to.

But, uh, does... does he carry a gun?

- Oh, you're not afraid of him? - Oh, of course not.

- But, you know... - Can you do it for me, as soon as possible?

Yes.

And by all means, he mustn't know that I had anything to do with it.

- Ah, no, no, no, no. - As soon as possible tonight?

Yes.

Oh, Mr. Smith! How are you, fella?

Oh, oh, oh, but this is much too soon.

- Oh, isn't it? - Oh, yes, much.

- Look, do something. - What can I do?

Oh, here, you can't go on standing right here.

- I know, but where can I go? - Look out here.

- Oh, no, no. Not that. - In the guest room. Hurry up.

Open up!

- Hiya, fella! - Hello, Jerry.

- Hello, Patsy. How ya been? - Oh, fine.

Gosh, Smitty. You knew it was me, didn't you?

Sure you did, fella.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yeah. Yes.

Sure, you remembered me, didn't you? Yeah, sure, you bet.

Go on. Get away, get away, get away.

Hello, Jerry.

Hello, Lucy. I suppose you know why I dropped in.

Oh, no, I don't, exactly.

Well, as a matter of fact, I came to apologize for my behavior

the day in Duvalle's apartment, or studio, whatever he calls his joint.

Oh, that.

I certainly acted like a prize lunatic, and I'm sorry.

- It was nothing, nothing at all. - Nothing?

Nothing except the most ridiculous and sickening exhibition

mortal man ever made of himself.

Oh, I don't know why I act like that.

Unless it's because the effect that Duvalle fellow has upon me.

I never knew anyone that can aggravate me the way he does.

I can't think about him without seeing red.

Oh, you shouldn't get so excited.

The mere mention of his name, and I feel positively murderous.

Oh, you do?

What's the matter with you?

Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking about your problem.

You certainly have a problem.

Yes, I know I have a problem, and I know how I feel too.

I guess there's nothing I can do about it.

Hey, look at Mr. Smith.

I guess he wants to play.

Yes.

Here, you go and hide it for him.

No fair peeking, Smitty.

- All right, fella, we're all set. Let's go. - Come on, Schmitty.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You're cold. You're colder than ice.

- Cold, cold. - Oh, boy, what's the matter with you?

Ah, nice going, fellow. Let go, let go. Yes. Good boy.

Well, Lucy...

The main idea is, do you accept my apology?

Aside from making a blue ribbon sap of myself today,

I must have embarrassed you beyond words.

- You took it fine though. - Well, you must admit you were a bit frantic.

What was that?

Uh, nothing. Just an old mirror.

He's getting worse every day. He's the biggest roughneck.

That's a fine thing. I'm surprised at you. Trying to get rid of me, huh?

No, he wasn't trying to get rid of you. You know it.

Well, I really hadn't planned to leave so soon, Lucy.

You see, as a matter of fact, I thought if you had nothing to do,

you might like to go for a drive with me.

Well, the air will do you good, and we could talk things over, huh?

Oh, I'd love that. Yes, it would do me good.

- Swell. - Where's your car?

Downstairs in the garage.

Well, I'll tell you, while I'm changing,

you get the car, and I'll meet you out in front.

- Okay, dear. - I won't be a minute.

Funny thing.

Well, that's funny. I only bought the hat an hour ago, and look at it.

Did you have a haircut maybe?

Hmm? No.

No? Well, maybe you have it on backwards. Put it on the other way around.

Yeah, well, I hadn't thought of that. Wait a nาinute.

Yes. There. Now, that's more becoming.

Well, it is a little roomy, but maybe they're wearing them that way this year.

Well, I'm not.

- Looks mighty funny to me. - Oh, but look at your ears. That's why.

- Your ears are all down. - What do you think's wrong with it?

Well, stick your ears up underneath.

Don't be silly. How can you stick your ears up? Hats don't fit like that. Wait a minute.

Well, I always put my...

Oh. Who's there?

Me and my ma.

Oh, look, look, Lucy. I've caused you enough trouble for one day.

He'd better not find me here. I'll duck in the other room.

- Oh, no, no, no, no. - That's all right.

But, uh...

- Let me know when he goes. - But you...

Oh.

- Hello there. - Hello, Aunt Patsy.

- Good evening, Mr. Leeson. - Oh, good evening, Mrs. Leeson.

Why, Lucy, dear, you didn't come over this morning the way you usually do.

- I was so busy this morning. - Well, of course she was.

That's what I kept telling you, Ma.

- Do you mind if I sit down? - No, not at all.

I've got an awful headache.

Well, I'm getting one.

I thought maybe you were angry at my repeating what that awful...

Oh, nonsense, Mrs. Leeson.

- What on earth was that? - Oh, somebody's cleaning up in there.

They're noisy enough about it.

I was... I was worried.

Oh, must they do that?

Yes, we're a little upset here today.

I was afraid, but I knew that in your heart you knew that I never suspected you.

Of course not, Mrs. Leeson.

Why, the first time Dan ever talked about you,

I said, "Why, she sounds like a sweet little soul."

Why, to know Lucy is to love her.

Lucy, I've got a surprise for you.

Ma and I have talked it all over.

I hope you're going to like Oklahoma because I'm going to ask you...

Excuse me.

They forgot to touch second.

Come on, Dan.

Well, I guess a man's best friend is his mother.

I certainly learned about women from you.

- Here's your diploma. - What?

Come on.

What's the matter with you, Schmitty?

Wh...

Oh. Oh, I see what you mean. Patty, look at this.

Oh, yes, that's Barbara Vance.

- You know who she is, don't you? - Yes, I know who she is.

The madcap heiress. Isn't that what the papers usually call her?

Millions of dollars and no sense.

I wonder what she's doing with Jerry.

Oh, entertaining him, running around town with him,

and, I imagine, falling in love with him.

- That's about all. - Now, you can't tell all that from this picture.

No, I can't. But I can tell it from what I've heard.

And if rumor is true, Barbara Vance is quite a gal,

and Jerry's having a lot of fun.

Come in.

Hello, Jerry.

Well, hello, Lucy. What's the nature of this visit?

Well, I just thought I'd... You know what today is, don't you?

Certainly. Our divorce becomes final today, and tomorrow we'll both be back in circulation.

Right. So I just thought I'd drop up and wish you a lot of luck.

Oh, that's very nice of you. I have some wine on the ice.

- Would you like to join me? - Of course I would.

That was a cute picture of you and Barbara in the morning paper.

Yeah.

I love the caption, "Off with the old love."

Only I thought "Out of the frying pan" might have been better.

Is that so?

Well, I think that Barbara and I will be very happy together.

Oh, yes, I'm sure you'll be very happy.

Only I don't think you'll be as happy as Daniel and I.

Uh... What?

Huh?

- Oh, is that still on? - What do you mean, is that still on?

Well, after that two-men-in-the-bedroom farce,

I sort of imagined that when we left, he left.

Oh, no, no, no. I just explained things to him very simply.

Oh, did you? What did you tell him?

That our cars broke down and we had to spend the night in your apartment

because it was during the taxi strike?

No, I didn't tell him that. I told him the truth.

- And strangely enough, he believed me. - Oh.

Yes, it was very refreshing.

Well, uh, what'll we drink to?

Well, let's drink to our future.

Uh, here's hoping you and Barbara will be very happy.

- Hmm. - Which I doubt very much.

No, let's drink to your happiness with Buffalo Bill.

- Good. - Which doesn't even make sense.

Well, I'll tell you, we'll drink to the two of us.

Good.

As we go down life's highway,

you going your way,

and I going my way.

- Yes. Well, well. - Okay?

All right.

- It's flat. - Mnาnา.

I'll open another bottle.

Oh, you'll have to hurry it up though because, um, I'm meeting Daniel.

Hmm?

Well.

I think champagne is so fitting to round out our romance.

Mm-hmm.

I remember the first drink we ever had together.

You, in your very best manner, said, um, "It must be champagne."

And then you offered a toast. You renาenาber?

No, I don't.

Well, being a woman, I do.

You said, um...

This'll land you a laugh.

You said, um...

"Lend an ear, I implore you.

This comes from my heart.

I'll always adore you,

till death do us part."

Remember?

Well,

it was pretty swell.

I mean, while it lasted.

But, uh,

all beautiful things must end,

so I guess we may as well call it a day.

If you don't mind, I'll call a car.

Would you call a car for me? Right away, please.

Hello.

- Who's this, may I ask? - Oh.

Oh, look, it's what's-her-name. I only said hello.

Maybe you can pick it up from there.

Did you have to answer my telephone?

Oh, I thought it was the fella downstairs about the car. I'm sorry.

- What am I going to tell her? - Well, tell...

You can think of something. You always could.

Oh. Trouble is, I haven't got time to think of anything.

- Tell her you'll call her back. - Yeah.

- How can I tell her I'll call her back? - Well, then tell her to call you back.

Oh. Hmm.

Hello. Hello, darling.

Well, it took you long enough.

Have you made up your mind who the woman is?

Oh, isn't that funny? I knew you were going to ask me that.

So did I.

Quiet.

Oh. Well, it's really very simple, dear. It's my sister.

Your sister? How are you ever going to get out of that?

Well, that's right. She just got back from Paris.

- Dropped by to see me, you know, and... - Oh, Jerry, you're slipping.

I'd love to meet your sister. Why don't you bring her along tonight?

Oh, no, I don't think she can come over this evening.

- She has a previous engagement. - She wants me to come over?

Well, naturally, she's very anxious to meet you too, dear, but...

Yes, yes. Tell her I'd love to meet her. Tell her to wear boxing gloves.

Well, she said if she possibly could, she'd break her engagement and come over later.

- But I doubt that very strongly. - Yes, I doubt it very much.

Well... Well, dear, I'll do my best to fix it up so the two of you meet very soon.

- Ah, yes. That'd be lovely. - Good-bye.

- That'd be lovely. - Oh, whew.

- I'm in a fine fix. She wants to meet my sister. - Well.

- You're a big help. - Yes, well, you know me. Anything I can do.

Ha-ha. What? To break it up?

- I see what you mean. - I'm in a fine mess.

Yes. Hello. I did it again.

What does she do, call up every five minutes?

Listen, you don't have to take that from anybody.

Put your foot down.

Well, Barbara, I told you she couldn't make it this evening.

She can't get away with things like that.

There's no reason to call me up every five minutes about it, is there?

No. Well, all right.

Well.

Yeah. Ha.

Ah.

Well.

- Good evening, Mr. Warriner. - Good evening.

- Hello, Barbara. - Hello.

- Good evening, Mrs. Vance. - Hello.

- Hello, Mr. Vance. - Jerry.

Where's your sister?

Uh... Oh, well, she was terribly sorry she couldn't be here tonight.

She, uh... She didn't weather the boat trip very well.

As a matter of fact, when I left, she was calling the doctor.

You can imagine my surprise when I heard a woman's voice on the phone.

You can't blame me for being suspicious.

Oh, Barbara. You can't have a happy married life if you're always suspicious.

No, there can't be any doubts in marriage.

Marriage is based on faith, and if you've lost that, you've lost everything.

Very well said, Jerry.

Yes. Yes, wasn't it? I think I read it in a book or something.

I was just thinking. Will your sister be here for the wedding?

Oh, I doubt that very much, Mrs. Vance.

Perhaps I should ask her to be a bridesmaid.

Well, I think she's sailing back to Paris almost immediately.

She said she'd do her best to see you before she goes though.

You'd like my sister. She's very much your type.

- Where did she go to school? - Excuse me?

- I said, where did she go to school? - In Switzerland.

Oh.

And you say your father was a Princeton man?

That's right, sir. Class of '92.

He tells some very funny stories about the place in those days too.

He tells one in particular about a football game.

It seems that Yale was playing Princeton one day,

and, uh, with the ball on Princeton's two-yard line,

Yale fumbled.

A minute to go, Dad picked up the ball and ran...

Miss Lola Warriner.

Oh.

Mmm.

Hello, brother dear. Well, I made it.

What did you say, dear?

- I just asked how you were feeling. - Well, I'm feeling fine. And you?

Oh, uh...

Oh, Mrs. Vance, may I present my sister, Lola.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- It's lovely to know you. - Thank you.

- Won't you come in? - Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, Barbara, this is Lola.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Well, it's nice to have a chance to meet you.

I've seen your pictures in the paper, and I wondered what you looked like.

- I wondered about you too. - Well, thank you.

- Lola. - Yes, dear?

This is Barbara's father, Mr. Vance. Mr. Vance, my sister.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- Well... - What's the matter?

Nothing. Only I never would have known you from his description.

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Did I interrupt something? Weren't you talking when I came in for...

- Will you excuse me, Mrs. Vance? My... - Oh.

Thank you. Oh! Look.

It's me. Isn't that silly?

It's you this time, Mrs. Vance.

Look, I'll just put it over here and get it out of the way.

Whoops! Ooh.

Oh, dear, dear.

I guess that could go on and on and on and on.

I hope not.

Go on with your story, honey.

Yes. I was telling a story about my... about our father.

Oh, you were?

Well, I don't want to be rude, but may I have a drink?

Certainly.

I had three or four before I got here, but they're beginning to wear off,

and you know how that is.

Well, don't look at me like that. You like a little drink yourself.

We call him Jerry the Nipper.

Likes to sneak 'em when nobody's looking.

So cute about it too.

I've seen him go along a whole evening and apparently not have a thing to drink,

and all of a sudden, fall flat on his puss.

A glass of sherry perhaps?

Will you get Miss Warriner a glass of sherry?

A glass of sherry?

Excuse me. I don't like sherry.

Oh, uh... Psst.

Will you make that ginger ale, please?

- Ginger ale? - Yes. And, uh...

I'm sorry to interrupt you again, Jerry.

Now, what were you saying?

Oh, I was just telling one of Father's stories.

- You've heard it. - Oh.

You see, there was a minute to go. Dad had the ball, and...

- A ball? What ball? - The football.

What in the world was Dad ever doing with a football?

Look, I was, uh, just telling a story about when Father was at Princeton.

- You remember the time. - Oh, yes, of course.

I remember Pop loved Princeton.

He was there nearly 20 years.

If ever a man loved a place, he did. He just adored it.

And he certainly kept it looking beautiful.

- You've seen the grounds, of course. - Of course.

Oh! Thank you, my friend.

- I'm afraid that my... - Whoopsie-deedle-dee-dah. So sorry.

- Here's a handkerchief. - Thank you.

I'm afraid that my sister has a somewhat distorted sense of humor.

So have I.

What she really meant to say was that Father presented the college

with some of its finest landscapings.

Ahem.

Excuse me. Was I thirsty.

It must have been that ham I had for dinner.

You mind?

I think my brother's pretty swell, don't you?

Oh, yes.

He's always been pretty swell to me.

I was working my head off at the Virginia Club.

But the minute he started doing better...

Um... you know what I mean?

Why he made me give up my job and take a trip to London and Paris.

And I think that was pretty swell, don't you?

What did you do at the Virginia Club?

- Well, I... - Well, you see...

I'll tell her.

It was a little act, kind of, um...

Well, it's a little hard to explain.

- Have you got any records? - Records?

- Oh, yes, yes. We have some records. - Well, maybe if we...

Say, wait a minute.

Don't anybody leave this room. I've lost my purse.

- Why, here it is. - Oh, well. Am I relieved.

- Where are the records? - Oh, come this way, and I'll show you.

Look, will you kind of keep an eye on that for me?

Oh, here's my song.

- Would you like to have me do it for you? - Well, no, I don't think...

Okay.

Oh, look. You'll have to put that on. It's a little fancy for me.

The one we've got at home, you just wind.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Oh, well, I'm not going to do it the way I did it at the club,

if that's what you're afraid of.

Think I'm a fool?

Um, the number has some wind effects in it,

but you'll just have to use your own imagination about them.

♪ I used to dream about a cottage small ♪

♪ A cottage small by a waterfall ♪

♪ But I wound up with no home at all ♪

♪ My dreams have gone with the wind ♪ Whoo! Get it?

♪ I'll never forget the way I did my stuff ♪

♪ I did my stuff, but you called my bluff ♪

♪ You called my bluff, and sho' nuff ♪

♪ My dreams have gone with the wind ♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

♪ Once my love and I ♪

♪ We strolled beneath the sky ♪

♪ Hand in hand together ♪

♪ But now I'm all alone ♪

♪ And when romance has flown ♪

♪ There's bound to be stormy weather ♪

♪ I found the pathway To be paved with gold ♪

♪ I cast my dreams ♪ I never could do that.

♪ But now I know I'm out in the cold ♪ Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!

♪ My dreams have gone with the wind ♪ Whoo!

Oh, are we going so soon?

I think I'm tired myself.

Oh, good night. Good night, all.

- Where do you think you're going? - I'm going to Patty's cabin.

You're not in any condition to drive.

Oh, I can make it in two minutes on two wheels.

- You don't know. - That's what you think. Get over.

- This is my car. I want to drive my car. - Get over. Over.

- Oh, no. I wish you'd stayed in there. - That's right.

Okay.

Hey, would you mind shutting that thing off, or at least turning it down?

Give it to me.

Ah!

That's right. Put it where we can find it.

Well, I...

Here, here. You can't do that.

- What? - Shut that thing off.

I'm trying to.

It's strictly against the law to decide to wake everybody up.

- What? - He says you'll be waking...

He's a little deaf. You'll have to... You have to speak... Oh, dear.

- Why don't you help me? - Help you? Help him.

Ah, it's beautiful up here. Don't you think so?

Ah, sure, it's swell. Just think of it.

If it hadn't been for you, I'd have missed all this.

That's right.

Well, I suppose by the time I get back to town, it'll hardly be worthwhile going to bed.

Do you mind if I borrow your car to go home in?

No, I don't mind. Only I think it's awfully silly.

- Patty will be disappointed. - Well, thanks. I'll go home.

Oh, well, it's all right with me. My goodness. I just thought...

Yes, you just thought that if I'd stay up there,

you'd show me exactly how innocent a night in the country could be, didn't you?

Oh, of all the... What?

Are you still harping on that same old string?

Oh, well, it's a matter of complete indifference to me whether you go or stay.

I was just trying to make it easier for you, that's all.

Did you have to throw that gadget away?

You want me to go back and look for it?

What else can happen to us?

A lot.

- What's that? - Two motorcycles.

- Anybody riding them? - Two men.

- They in uniform? - Yes!

Oh!

Fine.

- Turn down that radio! - I can't!

What do you mean, you can't?

Oh, you lost the control? Well, you can't let it run that way!

- Let me take a look at it. - Wait a minute. I'll get out of your way.

See what you can do!

- Must be a short in the wiring. - Let's take a look at it.

Don't!

That's always good.

Say, do you know you can get a ticket for that?

- Is this your car? - Nope.

- Whose car is it? - I'll give you one more guess.

Oh, so it's yours. Where's your ownership card?

In the upper right-hand drawer of my bureau.

- Are you sure this is your car? - Well, of course I'm sure it's my c...

Well, if it's your car, you ought to know your own license number.

- What number is it? - Well, I don't know.

They change it on me every year.

Don't look now, but what's the number on your motorcycle?

Aha! You see?

- Say, have you folks been drinking? - No, I haven't, but, uh...

- Let me see you walk this line. - Come on.

Go on, honey. Trot good.

- Now what have you done? - Aw, the brakes are bad.

It's a bad break for us too. Now we haven't any transportation.

Could you two gentlemen give us a lift up to my aunt's cabin?

It's only about 15 miles. That is, if you haven't anything else to do.

No, I haven't anything else to do. Have you?

- Oh, no. - Oh, well, that's fine.

Where are you going to sit?

Well, I'll have to figure that one out, I guess.

Fun? Fun?

Whee!

Whee!

Whee!

Come on, try it. Come on. It's fun.

Now, listen, you two. Don't say a word to this guy.

Who are these people?

Why, that's Mrs. Warriner and that's Mr. Warriner.

Ah. How do you do?

How do you do?

- Hello. - Well, I guess that settles it, doesn't it?

You'll see about getting my car out in the morning, won't you?

Yes, ma'am.

And in the meantime, both of you think of something you'd like to have for Christmas.

Good-bye.

- I hope you have a nice trip back. - Thank you.

Hi, Dad.

Well, Dad.

- Everything all right with you? - Oh, I'm feeling fine.

That's good.

But I wasn't expecting nobody tonight.

- Isn't Aunt Patty here? - Why, no.

She isn't he...

- I thought sure she was here. - I didn't.

Well, isn't that funny?

Well, let me get you some coffee.

Oh, no, no. I don't think so, Dad. It might keep me awake.

I'm going right to bed. I'm awfully tired.

See? She's all in.

- Oh, Dad. Is this room in order? - Yes.

Well, that's fine. Mr. Warriner's going to sleep in there.

And give him a couple of nice, warm blankets.

- He has a bad cold. - Is that right?

Oh, yeah, I've had a bad cold now for some considerable time.

Oh, that's too bad.

- About three months. - Hmm.

- How are you doing in there? - Well, I'm having a little wardrobe trouble.

Huh. You should see me. I'm glad you told him I had a cold.

He fixed me up good.

Well, my nightie's coming to me through the courtesy of Aunt Patty.

Scoot. Go on, get off of there. Go. Scoot.

Oh, my.

Air conditioned.

- What's wrong with this? - I don't know.

The, uh... The lock isn't very practical, is it?

No, it's not so very practical, but...

I guess it'll serve its purpose.

Hmm.

Well, uh, good night.

Good night.

- I... - Oh.

Oh.

I... I'm afraid we're going to have trouble with this.

I guess I'll be all right.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Good night.

I told you we'd have trouble with this.

Yes.

In a half an hour, we'll no longer be mister and missus.

Funny, isn't it?

Yes, it's funny that everything's the way it is on account of the way you feel.

Huh?

Well, I mean, if you didn't feel the way you do,

things wouldn't be the way they are, would they?

I mean, things could be the same, if things were different.

- But, um, things are the way you made them. - Oh, no.

No, things are the way you think I made them.

I didn't make them that way at all.

Things are just the same as they always were,

only you're the same as you were too,

so I guess things will never be the same again.

Ah.

Good night.

Good night.

- Got caught in the door. - Good night.

Good night.

Why, you...

Oh.

I was trying to stop it.

Well, there it goes again.

You're all confused, aren't you?

- Mmm. Aren't you? - No.

Well, you should be because you're wrong about things being different

because they're not the same.

Things are different, except in a different way.

You're still the same, only I've been a fool.

- But I'm not now. - Ah.

So long as I'm different, don't you think that,

well, maybe things could be the same again,

only a little different, huh?

You mean that, Jerry?

- You sure? - Mm-hmm.

No more doubts?

No more being...

- Except, uh... - Except what?

Well, there's only one thing that bothers me.

What?

This darn lock.

Oh.

- Is that all? - Hmm?

Oh.

Oh, well...

Y-You think maybe if you, uh...

Huh?

Good night.