All language subtitles for Travel Man 48 Hours In S01E04 Marrakech 720p WEB-DL H265 BONE

Hello, I'm Richard Ayoade

and while I've secured
an eternal place in history

as a blank-faced technological
sociopath called Gadget Man,

I've decided to widen my brief yet
further by flinging myself wantonly

and thoroughly into the ungoverned
nonsense you people call travel.

Despite having a Howard Hughesian
approach to leaving my home,

I too can yearn to quit these shores
and head to cheerier climes.

And now I'm going to build
this dream of escape

as I jet off
within a commercial aircraft

to some of the most exotic

yet near to my house
destinations on this earth

to demonstrate how to enjoy one
cherished weekend away

with the smallest outlay of coin,
minutage and faff.

This time, a whirlwind weekend
in the heat of Marrakech.

'I'm hitting Africa with actor
Stephen "The Face" Mangan...'

Hello, ladies!

'..who will act as
a kind of straight man

'while we relentlessly
experience the sights...'

I came here for a party
in the sky. '..sounds...'

CAMEL GROANS
Here we go.

'..and smells...'

My septum is burnt out. '..of
what is very much a place...'

That face tells me
you made the wrong decision.

'..as we attempt to lead you through
an optimal 48 hours in Marrakech.'

We're here. But should we have come?

You're going to regret that jumper.

Marrakech can be reached by
mule trek from the Atlas Mountains,

or, if time is of no immense value
to you,

you could very well just drive
to Barcelona and catch a ferry.

'But because I have a fetish
for heights,

'I insisted on the relative
speed of a 3.5 hour flight,

'as did Stephen Mangan, with whom
I wait for a lift to our flophouse.'

Have we really flown four hours

to stand in front of a sign
in the middle of a dual carriageway?

We need it for geography.

Here it comes, here's our wheels.

Really? Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
why do we need those wheels?

We need traction. Where are we
going, up the Atlas Mountains? Ish.

After you.

Richard, you've brought me
to Marrakech. Why?

Well, I have some very good reasons.
Tell me.

'First things first -
Marrakech is relatively cheap.

'You can get here, eat and sleep

'for as little as �87.50 each
for a whole weekend.

'But that's not all.'

Despite being an insultingly
short 3.5 hours flight away,

we're in a different continent and
on the cusp of the Sahara Desert.

As if that shizz wasn't enough,

Morocco is the world's largest
exporter of tinned sardines!

'And now to unveil
where down we shall flop.

'Tourists oft kip in
the city's bustle,

'but in a bid to evade other people,

'I've plumped for a quiet desert
oasis just a short drive from town.'

So, Richard, where are you taking me?

We're going to a hotel that has no
electricity. It's candles, gaslight.

It's adventurous, it's the kind
of thing I thought you'd like.

I do, but I just feel that there's
a shallow grave waiting for me.

Yes. At the end of this,

we're going to see Gwyneth Paltrow's
head in a box. Yeah.

'La Pause cannily combines luxury
with absolute silence.'

What have you got in that,
by the way? Just my hairdryer.

Cos it's not a change of clothes,
is it?

There are 15 more of these
suits in this. Oh, right.

I change every two hours
because I sweat so badly.

It's almost as if...

..everyone who was here died.
There's no-one around.

No, this looks like where Kula
Shaker come to find the new sound.

Apparently Prince came here once.
Right.

I often think that if you and I had
a child, it would look like Prince.

I think that would be
the least of its problems.

Shall we see
if there's any Wi-Fi? Sure.

'With our bags duly dropped
and evening fast approaching,

'our bellies ache for appeasement.

'Marrakech is famous for its
mesmerising array of street food

'and the best stalls are located
in the city's ancient main square.

'So we return to the urban hubbub
and last nearly 12 seconds

'before the warren of 11th century
streets renders us hopelessly lost.'

Do you know where we are? No.

'But sweet mercy has provided me
with a digital compass and map.'

I'm on compass duty.

My map says that way,
but my heart says that way.

Let's go with the map rather
than your rotten heart.

What they should do is they should
mark the floor like they do in IKEA.

With footprints? Yeah, so that
you know exactly where you're going.

But if it's like IKEA, we'd visit
every single street in the city

before getting to
where we wanted to go.

Yes, but at least you'd only visit
it once rather than several times,

which is what we've done.

'As we flap about like cider-soaked
wasps...' Let's go this way.

Why go that way?
It's the way we've just come from.

We're lost,
what difference does it make?

Let's do this democratically,
let's go this way.

'..I can only hope that
editing spares you the pain of
watching this in its entirety.'

They say it's
better to travel than to arrive,

but I think in this case,
they're wrong. Yes.

'We finally arrive as the sun sets,

'with all sense of time
and perspective in tatters.'

Isn't this great? Oh, right. Was this
where we were meant to end up? Yeah.

OK. Pretty good, no?

'This square,
called the Jemaa el-Fnaa,

'is the epicentre of Marrakech,

'where locals and tourists
come to eat.'

This is 1,000 years old,
this square.

We're trying to keep going
until we have a panic attack

and then we'll just
rest in that area.

'Snail broth, spicy lamb sausage

'and stuffed camel spleen are
all available for the chomp.

'But then Stephen's eyes
meet the eyes of a sheep.'

It's a sheep's brain.
You'd eat brain?

Yeah! Let's eat some brain. Right.

Here we go.
We'd like some head, please.

Some tongue, brain...face.

I asked for the...some salad.
You'll eat rump of a cow.

I won't eat rectum though.
Here we go. Good night! Wow!

May I interest you in some eyelid?
Here is the brain.

What's this bit round here?

VENDOR SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Shoulder? OK, bagsy the shoulder.

OK, I've got a bit of brain here. Let
me know how that is. Bon appetit.

That face tells me
you made the wrong decision.

It is slightly disconcerting
that the mouth is open.

It's as if the mouth of this sheep
is going, "Oh, come on!" Yeah.

Tell me what you've gained from
this experience. An anecdote?

I've got an anecdote.

I was with someone stupid
enough to eat sheep's brain.

That's my anecdote.

Look, the eye's still in it.

This is basically just an autopsy.
Don't eat that, OK?

I ate the brain, you eat the eyes!

I'm not subject to some kind
of weird television law of bullying

where just because Declan
has eaten the brain

that Ant has to eat the eye. No!

Oh, my good grief, it's black
inside. Why are you doing this?

Why did you do that?
It's delicious. It's not. It is!

Shall we go get a burger?
Yeah, let's get a camel burger.

OK, come on then.

'Dinner defeats us. The night -
and our first day - is over.

'We retire to the pitch-black
of our desert abode.'

'Day two begins in the middle
of day one's night.

'But the pain of a 4am alarm
will be offset

'by the eyegasm that awaits us
just a one-hour drive out of town.'

We're getting in a hot-air
balloon in the name of efficiency

because once we're up there,

we can see the whole of Marrakech,
mountains, the city.

How will we go where we want to go?

Winds will govern us.

'Pilot Maurice insists on an early
start as the calm morning air
SHOULD ensure a safe flight.'

How long have you been
piloting hot air balloons?

It's the first time today.

'A crown prince of deadpan,

'Maurice also moonlights
as Morocco's second best
Terence Stamp lookalike.'

I do now know for certain...

that I am a vertigo sufferer. Right.

What I'm enjoying
is the tranquillity,

the really freaky silence

and then the quite violent
flamethrowing

that's going on just
inches above our head.

BURNER ROARS

Wow, look! You can
genuinely see everything.

BURNER ROARS

I wish I had a similar device
to this

in normal conversations
to provide thinking time.

Yeah.
HE MIMICS BURNER

But now that we've got
all of this perspective,

how are we going to
zone in on the detail?

How are we, Richard? With this puppy!

60 times optical zoom! Oh, it's
an absolute pleasure.

Look at that.

Oh, look at the zoom on that.
Oh! Ooh!

Wow! Ooh! That's a deep barrel.

That is an early morning
barrel right there.

It's a bit awkward now,
having to stand this close
to each other after that.

I thought you'd be able to
mingle in one of these things

and walk around and chat
but we're actually hemmed in.

It's not like a function.
That's what I thought...

You thought you came up here
to network?

I came here for a party in the sky.

It's more like
a confessional booth in the sky.

BURNER ROARS

'With our memories committed to
data, Maurice lets the balloon
nestle down.'

I'm more and more relieved
as we get nearer the ground.

I'm feeling kind of almost smug.

'And this eerie experience
ends without injury.'

Brace for impact.

Whoa!

I...
I am enjoying my feet touching land.

Ah, but wasn't it magical being up
in the sky and so quiet and floating?

It was periodically quiet,
between Bunsen burner blasts.

Yeah, that was quite noisy.
Hang on, here we go.

'The balloon massively
fulfilled its brief

'of allowing us to see a good deal

'and all before any such thing
as breakfast.

'Now our quest needs to pause
as you hurtle

'into the very
necessary world of products

'and I must tell you
of what is to come.

'Such as ancient tales...'
He found a white-bearded wizard.

We weren't going to guess that.

'..and moody wildlife...'

I'm just like a big gnat
to this camel.

'..as we continue to speedwalk you
through an incessant
Moroccan weekend.'

Actor Stephen Mangan and me,

a loose string of unrelated vowels,
Richard Ayoade,

are showing you how to power slam
through 48 hours in Marrakech.

Our voyage has so far seen us fly...

Wow, look!

..and throw food into our mouths.

Why are you doing this?

But now we must wrestle with local
culture, folklore and narrative,

so we can feel worthy, rather than
the trivial consumers we are.

Storytelling is a crucial
part of Marrakech's history,

passing on wisdom and moral
guidance to new generations.

In the 11th century, tellers
would perform in the main square.

But now a new breed perform in
city-centre cafes, like this.

Who doesn't like a story? Well...

That's essentially what you
and I do for a living, isn't it?

Don't dignify what we do.
Good point.

Jaouad puts on free performances for
tourists in his spare time.

Hello. Hello, I'm Richard. Hi, nice
to meet you. Hello, I'm Stephen.

How are you? Nice to meet you.

So, I should say, I have no facial
expressions. He doesn't.

Virtually none.
It's like a medical condition.

So you won't be able to
tell anything from looking at me,

because I'm emotionally cut off.
Yeah. OK.

I almost am completely dead. I'll
try and make up for it with my...

Stephen's more animated.
With warm eyes.

Also, I'm bad with eye contact,
so just bear that in mind.

So, once upon a time
there was a child

whose father died
and left him alone.

'This particular story follows
Jaffar, a lazy son of a butcher,

'whose mother encourages him
to seek out his own luck.'

"Jaffar, you fool!
You always lose your money!"

'Throughout the tale,

'Jaouad skips between roles
like a modern-day Danny Dyer,

'flitting from dog...'

Woof-woof.

"Go away, you stupid!"

'..to old man.'

"Give me money first."

'The story has more twists and turns

'than an episode of
Come Dine With Me...'

And guess what he found?
Dead queen.

It's not The Sopranos.

'..with new characters
constantly appearing.

They found a white-bearded wizard,

holding a candle and his spell book
in his hands.

We weren't going to guess that.
Where was that?!

'But like Oliver Stone before him,

'Jaouad is keen to explore

'what moral lessons we've gained
from his story.'

APPLAUSE

What did you learn from this story?

So, the moral of the story is,

always find a tiny wizard
to take the punishment for you.

LAUGHTER
Yeah.

I suppose, in a Bruno Bettelheim
way, it's really about

integrating various aspects
of the ego to create a whole.

And that's what I took away.

I have no idea what this means.
Me neither.

No, I don't really, I just read it
in a Sunday supplement.

Our moral compasses
clearly need adjustment,

but, as that will not happen
within our lifetimes,

it's an issue that is best
ignored for the moment.

Right now, I urgently
wished to explore

Marrakech's top tourist attractions.

How about the 16th-century
Saadian Tombs?

This is where members of
the Saadian dynasty

that once ruled Morocco are buried

and is a great way to feel
close to death for half an hour.

OK.

Saadian Tomb. Right.

Very tranquil, very pretty.

And their solution to
what do you do with the rich dead?

You tile them in.
You tile them in.

You get a lot of tiles and
a job lot of grout, and get to work.

Have you got any particular
burial plans?

I want to go in the brown recycling
bin. I've said this for a long time.

Knowing my luck,
I'd end up in the wrong bin,

or they'd refuse to pick me up.

Our 48 hours are nearly up.

Like Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte
before us, we can't waste them

by over-reflecting on
the fleeting nature of life.

No, we need to investigate

the production of
high-quality leather goods,

something Marrakech
is world famous for.

So, our next stop
is the 1,000-year-old tannery

on the edge of the old town,

where we'll learn how some of the
finest leather on Earth is created.

Well, this is the tannery. OK.
Where leather goods are prepared.

What's that on the walls?

That's excrement.
Excrement. Yeah. Right.

I once lived in a block of flats
in Southfields

that had a very
similar stairwell to this.

Yeah, sorry about that.
Yeah, it wasn't ideal.

Oh, God! It's an intense whiff.

Intense isn't the word,
my septum's burnt out.

The tanners here use
medieval techniques,

which have been passed down
through generations.

The first stage of the process
is to soak the goat,

camel or cow skins in lime
to loosen the hair.

The hair is just gliding off.

It's like soaking a casserole dish.

Before long
it'll be a Hoxton man-bag.

There's bits of my body that could do
with that treatment. Yeah.

It's the next stage now,

where they dip the skin in
pigeon faeces to remove the lime.

And that is a ramp up in odour.
Ugh! Hello!

The last time
I smelt something like this,

I was in the toilets of an unmanned
railway station in the Midlands.

After they are washed, the skins
are soaked again, left to dry

and finally scraped,
before having colour applied.

The smell's still horrific,
but there's more leather within it.

Bono will be able to get a pair
of trousers made out of these. Yeah.

In order to see
the leather in its final state,

we make haste to the sprawling
city-centre markets.

Well, you couldn't really
get more leather.

If only Paul Hogan were here,
he could really stock up.

There's so much leather here that
some men, including the man

Leonardo DiCaprio, pay locals
to sift through it for them.

But I'm not Leonardo DiCaprio,

and if anyone's going to sift
through man-bags,

it's going to be me.

OK, this makes me feel like
a '70s doctor, which I like.

This is good.

How much is this?
This one is only 650 dirham. 650...

Let me get my app out,
and see how much that is.

?46.

Give me your best offer, how much?

If you just let me get to 375,

to make it look like I'm good
at haggling, I'll give you 500.

OK, deal. 500. Great.

I'm not even sure I want the bag.

Well, Stephen, if you could pay up.

Right.

Yeah, I work for him. Oh.

Yeah, he's very cruel. And if
I do things wrong, he hits me.

With a piece of Marrakech now
strapped to my torso, we need to

ponder our enormous achievements
in a suitably evocative environment.

So we've travelled back
to the Agafay Desert,

where we can test
one last experience.

How are you feeling about
our way out?

Hello, ladies! Yeah.

Wow! Look at you!

Look at the eyelashes on that one!
Yeah. Beautiful.

Well, just for filtering out dust,
rather than aesthetics.

But I'm sure they'll appreciate
the compliment. It's working for me.

When we mount up -

and mount up we will - we're going
to be high off the ground. Yeah.

So I don't want to leave a face like
yours in danger of hitting the deck.

How are you going to protect my face?

The Pro Hit Air Vest! Really?

Well, it'll go round your body,

your face, actually,
might still get mangled.

Horse riders wear this.

When you fall off, it inflates,

thus buffering you.

We're going to get on?
All right, mount up.

Here we go. Wahey!
This one's... Mine's half up.

Wahey, and now he's fully up.
Yours is fully up?

But his face is caught in yours.
Look at this.

Get up.

I'm just like a big nap to this
camel. Camel, rise! Camel?

Camel, light. Up you get.

Here we go.

There we go. Here we go.
Oh, hello. Hello. Are you ready?

It's a long way up.

Oh, dear.

There we go.
Oh, yeah, you see?

How do you feel now you're
mounted up? Well, I think

this is the closest I'm ever going to
get to being in a Western.

Yeah. I mean, I feel pretty
good about this, actually. Yeah?

I feel less bad than
I normally do, which, for me,

is a ringing endorsement.

I wonder how recently they've drunk?

You know, one of these puppies can
fit in 200 litres. 200 litres?

He's going to neck that in three
mins. Three mins? Three mins.

Camels are so vital to Moroccans
that there's an annual

camel festival celebrating their
importance as a means of transport,

and source of food.

Mentally, though we dare not admit
it to one another, Mangan and I

are already working out how to bring
this event to Britain, and whether

we could get Kula Shaker to reform
and lay down some sweet beats.

I feel, of all the things
we've done,

this is one of the least terrifying.

That's really weird
to hear you say that.

Less terrifying than the storyteller?
No, that was OK.

Less terrifying than walking
through a medina? Yes.

Less terrifying than buying
a leather bag? That was medium.

Good to know how the charts are...
Look at it! Look at that!

Aren't you glad you're not
sitting in your living room now,

and you're out in the desert,
on a camel?

What I'm glad about,
is the image of you,

looking like an off-duty
member of the Metropolitan Police.

Hey! On the back of a camel.
Camel Division.

While a weekend here can be had
for ?87.50, I've spaffed 400.

But that does include
a hot-air balloon...

Wow. Ooh.

..a high-quality leather man-bag...

I'm not even sure I want the bag.

..and a whole sheep's head.

I ate the brain, you eat the eye!

It may not have been
entirely pleasant...

Oh, God!
It's an intense whiff.

But overall, Marrakech can afford
the frugal traveller with

a whole tankard of holiday
for a mere cup of coin.

So, you're a man who,
wherever you go,

clutches life lessons
dearly to his chest.

Which one have you plucked
this time?

We think we've seen it all,
because you've watched on telly,

you've seen documentaries.

But not until you get out there
and see it with your own two eyes

can you really appreciate
what's going on in the world.

What about you?

I've learned that it's very
frustrating

to be without Wi-Fi signal.

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