Original subtitles

(soft dramatic music)

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- Katherine Hepburn said, "Listen to the song of life."

She was living treasure, but sweeties,

never, never, never listen to the song of life.

There are much better songs than that.

The song of life is like one of those depressing,

but kind of funny country western songs.

"My mother's frail and my husband's in jail

and I go get him out, but I can't pay the bail."

Sure, it's real, but who needs real?

Not me.

Fuck no!

I listen to the song of dream.

And sweeties, nobody looks up at a stage looking for real.

We are now in the business of real,

we are all about dreams, all about fantasy.

We don't call it drag for nothing.

What we do is grab our audience, buy their colors

and drag them out of their shitty lives, into a fantasy.

Our fantasy, our stage.

I'm gonna help you walk onto that stage and make it yours,

but its sure as hell isn't going to be easy.

Dreams are hard to keep alive.

They fade fast if you let them

and getting to your stage is going to be a rough ride.

Always is.

(footstep sound)

(indistinct chatters)

- Fucking your own man.

- (chuckles) I'm just so sorry, you're just so funny.

- Oh my God, she is alive, isn't she?

(all laughing)

- Loo me fucking here though.

(spitting sound)

(chuckles)

- So this is the faggot, huh?

- Fucking faggot, where are you going now?

- [Ladies] Oh my God.

(bicycle rattling sound)

- [Lady] What are you doing kid, you'll hurt him (laughs).

- What the fuck are you doing here faggot?

- Let go off me. - I'm not fucking with you.

- Fuck off.

(ladies chuckling)

(bottle rattling sound) - I'm not fucking with you.

What the fuck are you doing here.

- What are you doing here, huh?

What the fuck are you doing here, huh?

Dou you want me to fuck-

- Fuck off. - Why are you here?

- Let's go Lauren.

- Fuck off. (ladies laughing)

- Faggot. - The fuck are you doing here?

- Fuck off?

- Leave me alone. (indistinct chatters)

- What the fuck are you doing here?

(Kurt groaning) (hitting sound)

(intense dramatic music)

(indistinct chatters)

- Do you mean a fucking faggot?

He'll fucking kill himself.

(lady talks in a drunk voice)

- Oh, shit!

(footstep sound) (intense dramatic music)

(puffing sound)

- Sap cons.

- What the fuck you say bitch?

- Fuck, who the fuck is this?

(footstep sound)

(bright dramatic music)

- Get outta here.

(bright dramatic music)

(April groans)

- Shit. (lady screams)

Oh shit!

(bright dramatic music)

- Okay, today's lesson, we're going to be talking

about blood cells.

There are two common types of blood cells.

Does anyone know what they are?

(board sound)

Anybody?

Red and the white.

(paper rattling sound)

Now what I want to know is what function do they have

within the body?

(soft upbeat music)

(writing sound)

We went through this last week.

Kurt, could you please put that away?

Kurt.

(paper rattling sound)

That will be your last warning.

- Fucking fag.

- Fucking kill you.

- [Teacher] Be silent.

(bell rings)

(locker closing sound)

- Faggot.

(body thuds)

- (laughing) Yeah.

- Fucking little gay admits it too.

(lady laughing)

(lady chuckling)

- Better than a damn fuck?

- The fuck you said to me?

(footstep sounds) - Hey, fuck off.

(indistinct)

- You know, you've got more guts

than the three stooges ever will be.

You need to stop talking back like that

before they kill you.

- Oh God (groaning).

- Like that will stop 'em.

- Where would you be without me?

- Have you seen Nick and the jacks today?

- No, maybe they're wagging, afraid you told them in.

- I don't think so.

- [Jesse] It's me, Jesse James.

- Kill, kill, enough.

- Hank, it's me, Jesse James, your friend.

- [Hank] Hank.

- I know the feeling.

- We weren't made by mad scientists though.

- Aren't we though?

- [Jesse] Don't make me kill you.

- I don't believe in God.

- [Lady] Jesse, Jesse (screaming).

- I mean, I am stuck in a village full of a bunch

of angry peasants who wanna kill me.

- (inhales deeply) I knew we should have watched Dracula.

(lady screaming)

- As soon as I get a job, I'm gonna get out of here.

I'm gonna make something with myself.

- I know, I know.

- I'm sorry Katie, I say this shit all the time.

- No, it's not like that, I know you will.

I mean, I've never known anyone as talented as you

and you're right, there's no difference

between the fuck-its at school and these peasants.

When you get outta here, you're gonna be tougher

and better off than any of them.

And Luann and her Neanderthal pets will be laying bricks

and braising ugly kids while you're on stage,

strutting your stuff like a goddess.

(man speaks indistinctly)

Just hope you take me with you though.

- You know I will.

This time next year, you and I are gonna be in a car,

probably convertible.

- What?

- We can dream and we'll be driving far away from here.

- Will my scarf flutter in the wind

and then fly off behind us.

- Probably.

I mean that's what happens.

Well the movies lie.

- [Lady] Our village-

- It's good point. - [Lady] Is free once more.

- We'll go to the city and get an apartment together.

- Just wish we could go now.

- Me too.

- [Lady] Come back here.

- So, you got any good drag names yet?

Avery Good Lane?

- Too clean, I had a slapper.

- Anaphetamine.

(both chuckling)

- I like that one.

Hey, let's go out.

- What? It's like 12.

- So?

- Okay, let's go.

(footstep sounds) (intense dramatic music)

(indistinct chatters)

- What a few commerce.

You look like a detective from an old crime movie

in that outfit.

- Oh darling, you can't be too careful these days.

Things will get crazy out there.

- Paul, if you're trying to look inconspicuous,

you're failing miserably.

- Okay, so when you disappear,

I guess I'm the one taking all your spots, right?

(indistinct chatter)

Well, I saw the kid out there today.

Kurt, was there.

- Ah, your stories try out.

- Yeah, I think we should give him a go.

Well, at least there's a support out to begin with.

- Oh, I don't know, he was a bit rough.

- He's the best we've seen so far

and if I remember correctly, you were rougher.

- (chuckles) I was, wasn't it?

- He can never really get the lip syncer right,

could you duh?

- Ah, you know what?

And I always got it wrong in the same part.

Always, always.

- And how long exactly did it take you

before you wouldn't vomit every time you went out on stage?

- About three months (chuckling).

- Look, you and I and the other girls

are not getting any younger and with everything going on

with this treat for horse shit, nothing town,

we need more acts or this place is going to die.

- (exhales soundly) All right.

I get your point, I'll think about it.

(audience cheering)

(bright upbeat music)

- [Lady] Yeah.

(audience cheering)

(lady chuckling)

♪ It's finally in as good ♪

(audience cheering)

♪ Kinda so clumsy for the one in my dreams ♪

♪ It's finally in as good, can't give up ♪

♪ Something that makes me feel good enough for fame ♪

(audience cheering) (singing indistinctly)

- [Man] Yeah.

♪ Now I'm offended but I mess you mind better ♪

♪ 'Cause all you had to bring me ♪

♪ Was the fucking this we sweared ♪

♪ I had to fuck the king, a kiss from the queen ♪

♪ And my ex has this something that could purchase me ♪

♪ I still fuck you in no hole and can't you stall from me ♪

♪ 'Cause you only see it struggle while we get- ♪

(audience cheering)

♪ Let's still have some booty ♪

♪ Let's stay on the floor ♪

♪ Let's keep moving that body ♪

♪ Hold my hands to strap me more ♪

♪ Let it go feed the sharks ♪

♪ Hold my hands to strike it more ♪

♪ Turn up the pitches on my cloys ♪

♪ Let that (indistinct) ♪

(singing indistinctly)

♪ Yeah, the rest have changed ♪

(singing indistinctly)

♪ Since you never gained ♪

♪ Now I'm a fairy tale (indistinct) ♪

♪ 'Cause only you could keep me ♪

♪ With the fucking that you sweared ♪

♪ Let's still have some booty ♪

♪ Let's stay on the floor ♪

♪ Let's keep moving that body ♪

(audience cheering)

♪ Let's still have some fun ♪

♪ Let's still have some boy ♪

♪ Let's stay on the floor ♪

♪ Let's keep moving that body ♪

♪ Hold my hands to strap me more ♪

♪ Let it go feed the sharks ♪

(singing indistinctly) (audience cheering)

- [Man] Yeah.

(audience cheering)

♪ Let's still have some boy ♪

♪ Let's stay on the floor ♪

♪ Let's keep moving that body ♪

♪ Hold my hands to strap me more ♪

♪ Let it go feed the sharks ♪

(singing indistinctly) (audience cheering)

♪ Turn up the pitches on my cloys ♪

♪ Let that (indistinct) ♪

(singing indistinctly)

(audience cheering and applauding)

(bright upbeat music)

(audience cheering)

(audience whistling and applauding)

(bright upbeat music)

- I can totally see you being that old on stage.

- Okay, I plan to die of a stage.

- Really?

- Absolutely.

Yeah, I'll come out dressing nice,

scarf of a tie to my arm and I'll dance

and tip of my old heart pops.

- God, I hope I'm not there for that.

- Candles can burn both fans

if you cut a bit of wax off the bottom.

(audience applauding)

(indistinct chatters)

(door opens)

- Yo.

- Hey Leila.

- What's the buzz cause?

- Same old.

You got the new creeping magin?

- No fucking orders two days late.

Spioin'.

- Dracula.

- Yeah. I read it in high school,

but you know how being forced to read something

kind of fucking ruins it.

Like it's way creepier than I remember,

kind of boring though.

Did you know vampires are just a racist construct?

- Serious.

- Totally.

Take Dracula for instance,

it's literally about an Eastern European illegal immigrant,

getting into England, causing trouble and taking the woman.

- Yeah, I guess.

I never thought about it that way.

- Have you read this one?

- Vampires took the rap for a lot of things.

Before Dracula, vampires were depicted

as the aristocracy, literally sucking the blood

out of the poor.

They were used to demonize women's sexuality,

anything that suited the morality of the time.

Don't like something, just make it a vampire.

- (chuckles) Far out.

- And you know what they never told you in school,

Bram Stoker was queer.

- Really?

- Hmm, bad time to be queer too.

The Dracula character was based on a stage actor

he had a serial crush on.

Nothing could ever happen between them,

so Bram was forced to write an entire novel about a decent,

moral, straight Englishman being locked up and dominated

by a handsome count who was described

exactly like his crush.

He was so afraid of his own desire that he had to turn it

into an evil vampire.

- (scoffs) Whoa.

- The racist ship was just tacked onto a appeal

to a rider readership of dumbshits terrified

of gypsies and Jews.

Give them what they wanna, keep the change.

- Hey, wait a minute.

- Huh?

- The other night at the, was that you.

- Sorry, you must be thinking of someone else.

(door opens)

- Shit.

- Who was that?

- I don't know, but I hope she comes back.

(bright upbeat music)

- [Reporter] But, despite the town wide surge,

three boys were made missing, police fear evil works.

Principal (indistinct) of Renfield High School,

issued a statement saying-

- Those poor bloody boys.

The world's going to hell in a hand rascal.

- Yeah right.

Poor boys, I hope they're rotting at the river bank.

- I beg your pardon?

- Nothing.

- Hey, no.

Why'd you say that?

- Dad, you don't know those guys,

they're horrible people.

- What are you talking about?

- You don't see them at school picking on everyone

and you don't see them on the street,

gang bashing black people.

And, but the principal didn't say anything

about that in his statement.

- Kurt, I really dunno

where this attitudes come from lately.

- What attitude?

I'm telling you the truth.

Those guys are horrible shits.

They probably just picked on the wrong people

and got their asked handed to them.

- You watch your language young man.

- Oh my God.

I told you those beloved boys, they're violent bullies

and you're offended because I said shit.

- Kurt enough.

Your brother would never speak to me like that.

- My brother, my brother, right.

Okay, I get it.

So I can go and get her drunk and rape her,

and that's fine.

As long as I'm school captain and play football,

I'm still the good one.

But if I say the word fuck, this guy will fall.

- You know perfectly well that girl lied.

- No she didn't.

Why would anybody lie about that?

Her life was ruining enough.

- Enough, enough.

- You just can't conceive the idea that your favorite son

is something horrible.

You know what dad?

I wish he was rotting in the river too.

(door shuts)

(reporter speaking indistinctly)

(door shuts)

(soft dramatic music)

Oh my God, Katie, I need to talk to you.

- Can wait hon, I kinda can't talk right now.

- No, I am falling apart here.

I just had the worst time with my dad at-

- Look, Kurt I'm at work Mr. Shit factory sees me talking,

I'll lose my job, he's already given me two warnings.

This lazy fuck.

- Come on, you hate this job.

- Yeah, but I like eating.

- Katie, please.

- Fuck okay, shit, I'll come over after work.

I don't finish till late, but I'll be there at 11.

Okay, just please go.

- I need you.

- Look Kurt, I'm always there for you,

you know that,

but I can't afford to lose this job or dad's sick.

- You're not gonna be working this sleazy type of a job here

in city, are you?

- This is in our fantasy city, Kurt.

This is reality, fucked up reality,

now will you please just go.

(hitting sounds)

- Chill out.

You look like you need a drink.

- I'm not 18 yet.

- Who are you, and what the fuck do you want?

- Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh.

Relax baby, you're gonna love this.

(bright dramatic music)

You need to let the old dames warm up a bit before a ride.

(lighter sound)

(car honking)

A responsible boy, that's good.

Don't be frightening kid.

I'm just gonna have a drink.

Find out what's eating you.

(bright dramatic music)

(car engine roaring)

(footstep sound)

(intense dramatic music)

I'm not gonna lie kid, this is gonna hurt.

(intense dramatic music)

(Kurt groaning)

(door opens)

Fuck.

(intense dramatic music)

You.

(intense dramatic music)

(flaming sound)

(Landon screaming)

(bright dramatic music)

- [Lady] We're too late.

- He's too far gone.

He'll be go in five minutes or so.

- There's a chance.

- No way, look at him.

- It's his only hope.

Sleep.

(soft dramatic music)

- (blows) Well, fuck me, he's alive.

Well sort of.

- Hey April, sleeping beauty's awake.

(footstep sound)

- How are you feeling kid?

- (sighs) Have I been drugged?

(Harley laughs)

- Chill Harley, you said the same thing.

Don't worry, your senses are just a bit overwhelmed,

you'll get used to it.

You were dying, I brought you back.

Relax.

- Jesus.

- Relax, we're not gonna hurt you.

- You're monsters.

- Take a look in the mirror kid.

- Harley, don't be a Kant.

Don't look just yet, okay.

Relax a bit first.

Calm down, calm down, look again.

This time, think about your face, feel it.

(intense dramatic music)

Think about your face, picture it, will it, just try.

(intense dramatic music)

- Shit, he did it.

- Did what.

- You put your (indistinct) up.

It usually takes a while to get it.

Impressive.

Listen kid, like I said, I brought you back,

but you didn't exactly survive.

(bright dramatic music)

- Oh, the guy in the room.

- His name is Landon.

- And he's a right Kant.

- He fed from you not much, but enough to kill you.

We got there just in time,

but not in time to save your old life.

- Don't beat around the bush, April.

No amount of bullshit is gonna soften the blow.

You're a vampire now.

- Fuck me, Harley.

- And in a few hours you are gonna be hungrier

than you've ever fucking been before.

So let's get the whole, (sighs)

"Oh my God, this can't be true.

Vampires only exist in the movies.

My whole world has changed."

Bit over and done with, shall we?

(puff sound)

- What they said.

(footstep sound)

Here, like I said, your senses are heightened

and the light can be a bit much.

These will help.

- You mean the sun can hurt.

- Bunch of shit, it's just the light that hurts a bit.

You won't turn to dust.

You won't even sunburn.

- Can we go already, I am hungry.

- I need to go.

- You need to feed.

Harley, go get yourself a skinhead

from that new gang house downtown, I'll handle this.

- Whatever.

Good luck kid, first is always the sweetest.

Smell you later.

- Why'd you do this to me.

- I told you, Landon,

that piece of that killed you, feeds on the outcasts.

The folk society ignores, the kids that get bullied.

(intense dramatic music)

I think he does it because that's what he was

when he was a human.

Some of us grow up, others don't.

Even if they do live to be 300 years old.

(intense dramatic music)

You can live forever and still be a childish shithead.

- Wait, so how old are you?

- It's rude to ask a lady her age.

Anyway, when we saw you on the bridge that night,

I had a feeling Landon might come after you.

If we'd got there in time,

we could have saved you as you were, wiped your memory,

I'll teach that later and you'd go on with your life

being treated like by all the small mind townie fucks.

But we were too late.

So it was either you die and disappear forever,

or I turn you into one of us.

But you know what?

Being a vampire is fucking awesome.

- Where are we going?

- It's a surprise.

(bright dramatic music)

(car engine roaring)

(birds chirping)

- Where are we?

- You'll see you, come on.

(birds chirping) (footstep sound)

- Wait, I know this place.

- You lied to me.

- They talked about it at my dad's church.

- New Don camp.

- Gay camp.

- Pray the gay away.

- We were just smoking, we went-

- Don't you lie to me. - We were. (slapping sound)

- When you lie to me, you lie to God.

- One of those fucks is dinner.

- Wait, I don't wanna kill anyone.

- Do you have any idea how many kids kill themselves

every year because of this shit?

That's like a fascist reeducation Kurt.

They can't change kids.

They can only force them to live a lie

until they can't fucking take it anymore.

They hate us.

- Us?

Wait, you are.

- I had to leave home at 15 to transition.

I saw how, and it's coming around again, it always does.

- Don't you lie to me.

- This is how we live.

We need blood, so we take it from those

who don't deserve it.

You feel it now, the hunger?

You have to eat or you'll die, just like before.

The only difference is,

this prey isn't some innocent animal in a field,

our prey thinks and chooses to be cruel to others.

We are not the monsters, they are.

- You think he doesn't see you,

but he sees inside your filthy stained souls.

- You need to wait.

(intense dramatic music)

Shit.

(running sound)

(man groaning)

(intense dramatic music)

(bird chirping)

(hitting sound)

(blood oozing sound)

(boys groaning)

(breathes heavily)

Sh.

(boys groaning)

Go back to your dorms.

(boys breathing heavily)

Forget about this horrible dream.

(bird chirping)

Go.

(bird chirping)

(sizzling sound)

- What the fuck?

- Yeah, that happens.

They melt after we feed from them.

- That's what happened to jocks.

- Yep.

We need to get outta here, come on.

(bird chirping) (bright dramatic music)

Do you have any idea how fucking stupid that was?

How dangerous?

(birds chirping)

- That's so gross.

- Kurt?

- (scoffing) I don't care.

- You will care.

The greatest law that we live under

is that we can't get seen.

Humans have to think that we just exist in the movies.

They can't know we're real.

- Why not?

- You have a lot to learn.

Let's get the fuck outta here.

(bird chirping)

(knocking sound)

(door opens)

- Hey, sorry, I'm late.

I promise Kurt I'll be over after work.

- Katie, he isn't here.

Have you seen him today?

- Yeah, he came to the boiler up.

We had a fight and then he left.

- And he didn't say where he was going?

- Nope, I just assumed he was coming here.

He's probably at my house, so I'll go check.

- All right.

Well give me a call if he's not there, okay?

- Okay.

- Goodbye. - We'll do.

Bye.

(reporter speaks indistinctly)

- Katie Kurts.

- Snoozy Suzy.

- Some meatballs in the fridge for you if you want.

Oh, what's wrong.

- Has Kurt been here?

- No why?

- Well, it's nothing probably, just hasn't been home.

(phone beeping)

- [Reporter] Of being around, 179,000 waves (indistinct).

- Hey it's Katie, is Kurt there?

- [Reporter] Do you like that one?

- Okay, ah, no, he hasn't been here.

All right?

Yeah, okay, we'll do.

Bye.

- He's probably just tormenting his dad,

like you know how he is?

- Yeah.

(indistinct chatters)

(ladies laughing)

(intense dramatic music)

(locker door closes)

(indistinct chatters)

(intense dramatic music)

- [Lady] Can Katie Murray come to the office?

- Katie Murray see office please.

(intense dramatic music)

♪ Never gonna say goodbye, if you never find a way to try ♪

♪ And however long you hold on tight you gotta let go ♪

♪ And I'm standing alone right here ♪

♪ Waiting for an hand to hold ♪

♪ And no matter where I look around, I just don't know ♪

♪ I'm never getting older, hold on ♪

♪ I'm never going so low, hold on ♪

♪ I'm never going all aboard or under holding on ♪

(bright upbeat music)

♪ I can keep looking around ♪

♪ Or I can just stop right now ♪

♪ So maybe ♪

(rattling sound)

(dog barking)

- You fuck head, where have you been?

They were going nuts at school.

They thought you'd been killed or kidnapped

or something by those jacks.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm fine.

It's a long story and I'll tell you everything.

Just come with me.

(dog barking)

- Okay?

- Just don't understand why you didn't call me.

- I would have, there's just so much

that's happened lately and I really wanna tell you,

but it's gonna be really hard

and I really want you to understand.

- Go on then.

- The other night after I saw you at the bowler.

- After you almost made me lose my a job.

- I'm sorry, it is just.

(ladies laughing)

- Fuck, fuck, fuck.

(ladies laughing)

I'm the fucking mood for this.

- What are you doing?

- Look who it is, what a proof top (chuckles).

(bright dramatic music)

(ladies laughing)

(bright dramatic music)

(hitting and slapping sound)

(lady groaning)

- You're lucky I already ate today bitch.

(lady groans and thuds)

(bright dramatic music)

(footstep sound)

- Who the fuck is this?

- Sleep now.

(intense dramatic music)

- She'll forget everything, right?

- Hopefully, but you can never be sure.

Some people can't be influenced properly,

others not at all.

If she remembers anything,

hopefully she'll think it was all a fucked up dream.

You were going to tell her.

- Yes.

- No one can know about us, I told you that.

- She's my best friend.

- Is she?

- What's that supposed to mean?

- You have to go back to your family.

Try to act normal.

- I don't want to.

- Enough people have already gone missing

around your school, that's my fault.

But we can't afford to have you go missing too.

I just hope none of those shit heads

around your school remember anything or we're fucked.

(bird quaking)

(intense dramatic music)

(bright upbeat music)

- Katie, what's wrong?

- I'm not talking to you.

- Why not?

Where the fuck have you been on weekend?

- Oh, you don't, long story.

Hey, you haven't seen a three students there, have you?

- Kurt Linquist, office now?

(locker bangs)

(lady chuckling)

(body lands with a thud)

(intense dramatic music)

- Oh my God.

They made me talk to the police, such drama.

- I don't know if you've noticed,

but people have been disappearing around here.

What do you think they'd do?

- I guess, I don't mean to scare everyone.

Look, I met this guy, he was really nice

and we went to a party and I got a little bit too wasted.

I'm sorry.

- Your dad probably shit himself.

- Yeah, I haven't been home yet.

- Seriously?

- Can you come back with me after school?

- No.

Okay.

(bird quaking)

- Matt, you got a spare dummy?

- Yeah, sure, here.

(bird quaking)

- Thanks.

(lighter sounds)

Jesus what happened to you?

Wherever he's been?

Fucking teach us spewing at school

when everyone's late nowadays.

- I heard what happened today, man.

Heard you got knocked over by the faggot.

- It's nothing, just caught me by surprise, that's all.

- That's not what we heard.

(lady retching)

Anyway, there's someone I want you to meet.

- Don't be afraid kid.

I'm gonna give you something

that'll make you feel real good.

- I don't want nothing.

- It's only gonna hurt a little bit.

(Landon growls)

(lady screams)

(knocking sound)

(door opens)

- Pop.

- Hmm.

- Keeping an eye on him.

(footstep sound)

- That one there murdered of Vietnamese father of three.

Poor guy survived the war, came here as a refugee,

only to be beaten to death by this piece of shit

over the price of a bread roll.

- Jesus.

(bright dramatic music)

- The cops turned a blind eye to it.

They always do, we never do.

- So vam.

- Seriously, don't ever fucking say that again.

I know it's a lot to take in, relax,

have fun and mingle.

There aren't very many of us left in the world

and most of them coming through are just passing by.

(indistinct chatters)

Hello?

Don't worry here's your type.

- Oh no.

- His name is Andy.

I'll introduce you and I'll go

and get a glass of swatstika juice.

(bright dramatic music)

- So, why on the road.

- There was a hunter in my hometown.

- Seriously? Like van housing?

- Kind of.

Mostly they're just religious (indistinct)

who've never seen a vampire before,

but they clear themselves hunters.

Some of them are real.

They say this guy is, or his daughter turn before his eyes.

- (exhales soundly) Seriously,

how dangerous can one not job be?

- (scoffs) Those girls are Vietnam vet,

toughest nails than obsessed.

You should know all about what hate does to people,

especially before you become a blood sucker.

- Yeah.

- Anyway, some vampire didn't know

what's feeding on innocent kids.

I was striking for this piece of shit done

when a hunter caught me near a melting victim,

assumed I was the one doing it.

Third call really.

I got away, but I didn't wanna lead into the others.

So I ran.

Has he killed many of us?

- 11 I've heard, in a few different towns.

Like I said, hunters are real.

- Staying town for a while?

- I think I will.

- [Man] Fucking little bitches.

(bright dramatic music)

- Midnight snack?

- I am veggish.

- Andy said my drag name

should be something rocky horror related,

like magenta riff raff, which I kind of like.

- Will you shut up about Andy?

- Sorry?

- All day you've just talked about Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy.

- Fuck, sorry, I'm just happy, that's all.

- Must be nice.

(intense dramatic music) (indistinct chatters)

What'd you do to them?

- What?

The three stooges, a week they've just stayed away

and watched you.

- They are just pissed off at me. What else is new?

- Yeah, but haven't done anything to you.

- There's no, I'm not scared of them anymore.

- Why aren't you scared of them?

- I'm just not.

They're not tough as I thought they were.

- Okay, but when did you get so tough?

- I guess I always was, I just had to let it out.

Hey, wanna come over tonight?

I taped over a black Sunday.

It's got Barbara's tours, she's avenging and rich

and she's so gorgeous.

I think of using her name as my drag name somehow

like Bob Stewart or something.

- I can't, I got a report to finish.

Sorry, I'll see you later.

(people laughing)

- (humming) Hey mate.

- Hey dad.

- Hope those bloody tomatoes grow properly this time.

They're getting more expensive in the shops

and at the market outside of town.

What's eating you.

- I need to tell you something.

- Sure.

- It's kind of personal.

A lot's been happening lately and I don't know,

I'm not supposed to, but I just,

I feel like I need to tell you because like things

have been really weird lately and I.

- Mate, I know you're gay.

We all do.

- Yeah but, and you know what you are, that's okay.

- Okay, yeah, so-

- And, I know you have a boyfriend, I do.

I know it.

- Oh right.

- You know why?

Because you've been walking around here

with a smile on your face, a mile wide.

I mean, you know what?

First time I thought you had wind.

- Oh (chuckles).

- That'll be your brother.

(Mike whistling)

He's coming over for dinner.

So do you know what (indistinct) and chips for dinner.

Happy with that?

- [Mike] Dad.

- Coming, mate.

Maybe we just don't tell Chris about what we were talking

about there 'cause I mean, you know how he is, yeah?

(knocking sound)

(door opens and closes)

- Where's twinkle tires.

He's gone out, might be home later.

And don't bloody call him that.

(intense dramatic music)

- Landon, vampire, villain.

You're in the crossroads of two destinies you set in motion.

- Who are you?

- You know who we are?

- (sighing) Oh, why now?

What destinies?

- Two for one.

- What?

- Two wrongs make a right.

- What makes sense?

(lady laughs)

What are you here for?

- To witness and enjoy the fulfillment of destinies.

(siren wailing)

(footstep sounds)

- Hello?

- Hmm.

- I'm sorry to interrupt but I found this in the men's room.

- Ah, thanks.

- I do hope the fellow comes back for it.

It's just terrible losing something so important.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I don't usually do this, but are you doing anything

after work tonight?

- I suppose it's inevitable.

Katie's had you all to herself for all this time

and long summer girl comes

and she's not the center of attention anymore.

- Sure.

But I mean, when she was dating into dungeon master,

I didn't go total beach on her.

- I bet you did.

Wait, dungeon master?

- (chuckles) Kevin, who's part of the gaming club at school.

- Still, I bet you didn't exactly welcome him.

- Sure, I mean, I was a little bit jealous,

but not like that.

And it's not just that and it's not just you.

Ever since I started sticking up for myself,

she's just being, look, we're here

and she's finishing up about now.

So I'd be go in alone you know?

- Totally.

I'll go back to April's pad.

You have some blood there.

- Oh, where.

(smooching sound)

You knew too well babes.

- Oh, what is that?

Oh, ew, you've been watching cartoons?

- Shut up fag.

- I know who you are.

Interesting.

Oh Wilam, you have no idea

what Landon's done to you, do you?

- Said, shut up.

- Well there's no way in hell, I'm gonna eat you,

but I could use the exercise.

(both growl)

Katie.

(hitting sound) (bright dramatic music)

(Kurt coughing)

(intense dramatic music)

(breathes heavily) Katie.

- Hey, hey, hey, take it easy.

- What happened?

- You got lucky kid.

If that dumb fuck hadn't missed your heart,

you'd be a goner.

- It's healing first.

You would be on a feet in a day or two.

Katie, Landon has Katie.

- We know, Harley is out looking for her.

- No, I have to-

- Stop.

You can't do anything until your guts finish healing.

- You got it in the lower intestine,

you don't use 'em anymore,

but the muscles are pretty serious around them.

(Kurt groaning)

You need to rest.

I'll go out in a minute and see how they're going, okay?

- Surely he's not going to do anything to her.

- He wants to get to me and you.

- No, I have to.

- Sleep, sleep now.

Jesus he's stubborn.

- Indeed.

- He worries me.

So much passion in him, so little control.

- Strong too.

- Stay with him.

I doubt Landon or his goals will come back,

but I'll lock everything up just in case.

(footstep sound)

(knocking sound)

(door opens)

(Peter breathes heavily)

(telephone clanking)

- Hey Susie, Peter Linquist, is Kurt over there with Katie?

No.

She's not there either.

(sighs) No, no, no,

I haven't seen her here for a few weeks.

You know what?

When he does come back, he's gonna be grounded

until he is ready for the bloody nursing home (laughs).

Okay, yeah.

No, you call the police and I will too.

I mean you're right.

Yeah, I mean, I'm just used to him coming and going.

He's a good lad, but you're right

with what's going on out there.

Okay.

Yep, no, no, I'll give you a call if I hear anything.

Okay, bye.

(soft dramatic music)

(phone clanking)

Hi, I want to report a missing person.

- Pretty awesome, huh?

- I can't believe it.

- We heal fast from the inside out,

so long as none of the organs we still use

have been damaged.

You'd be dead from an infection from the turds

inside your guts if you were still a normie.

- (groaning) Ah.

- You're still not ready.

- I'm so hungry.

- I'll get you a glass of red, not fresh,

but it'll be easy on your guts.

- And Katie?

- The others are out looking for her

and they still haven't found your broken friends either.

- Oh God, my dad must be.

- Andy's gone to your place.

He'll let 'em know you're safe.

(knocking sound)

(door opens)

- Mr. Linquist.

- Yes, Peter Linquist.

- I'm a friend Kurts.

- Where is he? Where my son?

- He's okay, you need to listen to me.

- Listen, buddy, you need to tell me where my son is.

I've been looking for him, he's gone missing and-

- I beg your pardon sir,

you need to shut up and you need to listen to me.

Kurt is safe, he's with his friends.

There are a bunch of people who to hurt him

and we are the only ones that can keep him safe.

We all know that the police can't do anything to help him

and you know why.

He means a lot to me

and I promise you nothing's gonna happen.

- You.

- Yeah, that's me, he's very important to me

and I'll make sure nothing happens to him.

And we'll be in touch, okay?

(soft dramatic music)

- What the fuck?

♪ You want it boy toy, I could be yours ♪

- Katie.

♪ Do you remember why you did ♪

♪ You on a wheel toy, I can be yours ♪

♪ Brought me back from the dead ♪

♪ Did I build a king ♪

♪ Did I build king, did I break something ♪

♪ Did I build a king ♪ (Katie breathing heavily)

♪ Did I build a king ♪

♪ You know you are not better light ♪

♪ I know you're not their franking style ♪

♪ I was still dying and come at light ♪

♪ And come at light ♪

(bright upbeat music)

♪ Mean boys don't get up, they get down ♪

♪ Don't get up, they get down ♪

(footstep sound)

- Katie, is she?

- She's all right.

She's asleep. - No, I made her sleep.

She was mad, I dunno.

- She's unhurt, Landon didn't do anything to her.

- Why would he just take her and let her go?

- To scare me, to threaten us.

- To show us he can do what he wants with anyone.

- And everyone we love.

- We can't let him get away next time.

He's too old and too powerful.

- I'm gonna kill him.

- All right, well take an easy kid you can barely walk.

- I don't care.

- This isn't some skinhead kid.

This bloodsucker is older than April and I.

- We'll all get the kill, but you get to take him.

Oh my God, fuck me.

- It's just right.

An eye for an eye.

- A tooth for a tooth.

- In the meantime, she better stay here.

- That's okay.

You're with me.

- He (breathing heavily) said that you are a.

- It's true, but it's okay.

I'm not like him, we're not like him.

I dunno for sure, but I think that we were followed.

- Shit, you smelled Landon.

- I don't think so but I smelled like rotting ham.

- The girls.

- The one that jammed me, smelled like that too.

Makes sense.

They're literally watching inside.

- Gross.

- The three stooges, they were doing whatever he said,

like they were his slaves.

- That can happen in real life.

Like Dracula, like Renfield.

- It's not easy, but yeah.

- Never saw Dracula.

- Really?

- What?

I don't like scary movies, I like westerns.

- I don't think we can be together anymore.

- (scoffs) Fuck off.

- Anyway, cowboy, we better plan some kind of ambush

because Landon can take all of us

if we're not ready for him.

- And the three stooges?

- They're no stronger than before,

but they can't feel pain and or keep coming at you.

- So slice them and dice them.

- (chuckles) Sweet.

- Who are these people?

It's really misty tonight.

Oh my God, can he turn into mist?

- (chuckling) That's a bit farfetched.

- Says a fucking vampire.

- Good point.

You know, most of the stuff in movies is bullshit.

We can't turn into bats, ware wolves.

We can't fly and cross this holy water dam,

wait, does holy water hurt us?

- Only if you're allergic to bullshit.

- We don't even live forever.

- Seriously.

- I mean, we live a long time, but not forever.

- Hmm.

- I guess the movies are wrong.

- The movies always get it wrong.

I don't know why.

There's plenty of blood suckers in Hollywood.

- Reality sucks for everyone.

- Yeah, I mean there's no point bitching better though.

Whether you're human, a vampire, ware wolf.

I mean, are they even ware wolves?

I don't know, doesn't matter,

but you get one chance at life

and the people you love get one chance,

so you better make it count.

Jesus Christ like bloody sit coming here.

I'm gonna go check on the roof before I puke.

(water dropping sound)

Harley's not that bad,

he's actually pretty cool and caring

once he get to know him.

- Sure.

- Here, if you see them, don't hesitate.

Three stooges are already dead.

Just stay as far away from Landon as you can.

- How many people have you killed?

(intense dramatic music)

Oh my God.

- It's all right, we can see fine in the dark.

- But I can't.

- It's okay, stay near me.

Wait.

Oh, no.

- He's here.

- Where's Harley?

- They're checking the rooftop entrance.

- Shit, stay here, eyes peeled.

(door opens)

- He's here (breathing heavily).

(intense dramatic music)

- This ends now.

(door opens)

(intense dramatic music)

(hitting sound) (bright dramatic music)

- Hm, you're back for more, sorry about that.

(intense dramatic music)

(Kurt thuds)

(Katie groans)

(metal falling sound)

- Go help your friends, Andy needs you.

(intense dramatic music)

(slicing sound)

(intense dramatic music)

(hitting sound) (intense dramatic music)

- Good night.

(hitting sound)

(intense dramatic music)

(Katie groaning)

- Hey, it's the tasty little treat.

- I'm not afraid of you, you're pathetic.

You're just like them.

I'm not afraid of you.

- I'm not afraid of you.

- I'm not afraid of you either Kant.

- I made you.

You'd just be enough street fag if I wasn't for me.

- I am not afraid of you.

- I'm not gonna lie, this is gonna hurt.

(Landon growls)

(Landon screams)

(Kurt chuckles)

(Harley chuckles)

- I love you, Kurt.

- I love you too.

- So vam.

- So vam.

(Harley chuckling)

- So it's really over.

We're safe.

- For now, there's always some kind of new threat,

but for now we're we're okay.

- And whatever happens, we can handle it together.

(smooching sound)

- Thanks for the jacket.

- No worries.

(bright dramatic music)

(door opens and closes)

(bright dramatic music)

(footstep sound)

(wind whooshing)

(bird quacking)

(door opens)

(Peter groaning and breathing heavily)

- Come and get him fag.

- Dad, I need to tell you something.

(Peter groaning) (Kurt growling)

- Hello lovelies.

Club Nackturn proudly brings you the stage debut of

Fancy Fucker rrr.

(audience applauding and cheering)

(bright upbeat music)

♪ Hey I'm afraid that I lost my mind ♪

♪ It was real I could feel the perfect guy ♪

♪ And I let myself fall, do you know you at all ♪

♪ And I didn't take the trouble ♪

♪ To see through all your lies ♪

♪ Don't train, get strained at your time ♪

♪ But you found I don't have, and so I don't even try ♪

♪ And so I don't even try ♪

♪ So that she wouldn't talk, ♪

♪ But she did, now I walk ♪

♪ My mind has been changed and she can remove ♪

♪ Yeah about that ♪

♪ I've been delusional, I can't run like I'm your only girl ♪

♪ But I know that you fucked with him too ♪

♪ I've come two time with your past ♪

♪ But not your present ♪

♪ He's the maiden, I'm the zammer ♪

♪ I'ma guess ah, I love her ♪

♪ Nice to meet you ♪

♪ Nice to meet you and you tried to pull me close ♪

♪ But you're messing ♪

♪ Nice to meet you ♪

♪ I guess ah, I love you 'cause you're messing ♪

♪ You're nasty ♪

♪ You're nasty, nasty, nasty ♪

♪ Boy don't you play 'cause I know your kind ♪

♪ Hurt my heart don't you start solid in your eyes ♪

♪ Thought that you were so slick ♪

♪ Only thought with your dick ♪

♪ You're just like the rest and I'm not at rest till yeah ♪

♪ I've been delusional, I can run like I'm your only girl ♪

♪ But I know that you fucked with him too ♪

♪ I've come two times with your past but not your present ♪

♪ He's the man, and I'm the zammer ♪

♪ I'm guess ah, I love her ♪

♪ Nice to meet you ♪

♪ And you try to pull me close ♪

♪ But you're nasty, nasty, nasty ♪

♪ I'm guess ah, I love her ♪

♪ 'Cause you're nasty, nasty, nasty ♪

♪ And you try to pull me close ♪

♪ But you're nasty, nasty, nasty ♪

♪ I'm guess ah, I love her 'cause you're ♪

♪ I've been on a nausea, live behind your bullshit ♪

♪ Secretly me and my boy no, looking up place you go solo ♪

♪ Best believe I'll loose it ♪

♪ You're the one who tossed this ♪

♪ Can't bake what you like ♪

♪ So now we're gonna pick a fight ♪

♪ I've been on a nausea, live behind your bullshit ♪

♪ Secretly me and my boy no, looking up place you go solo ♪

♪ Best believe I'll loose it ♪

♪ You're the one who tossed this ♪

♪ Can't bake what you like ♪

♪ So now we're gonna pick a fight ♪

(bright upbeat music)

♪ So now we're gonna pick a fight ♪

♪ Nice to meet you ♪

♪ And you try to pull me close ♪

♪ But you're nasty, nasty, nasty ♪

♪ I'm guess ah, I love her 'cause you're ♪

♪ Don't you call me, don't you try and call me ♪

♪ I'll just let it rain ♪

♪ You're the same guy, see through all of your lies ♪

♪ Shouldn't be the flame ♪

♪ And not allowed to think ♪

♪ That I would the fool but you mess with my go-to ♪

♪ And you try to play it cool but I play nasty too ♪

♪ Then you dump me, prepare for a hard tinge ♪

♪ Try to be so cool but I play nasty too ♪

(audience applauding and cheering)

(soft upbeat music)

- Girl, you were bright tonight, huh, sensational.

but watch that third verse, you're a bit like coming in.

- Thank you, I really appreciate it.

- You're welcome.

(bright dramatic music)

- You'll know when that stage is yours, sweetie,

you'll feel it in your blood and in your bones.

Everything and everyone that held you back

and made you feel like nothing, like some kind of monster,

all those things are smaller and weaker than you know.

That stage yours and so the world is yours.

Rule it, honey, rule it.

- Gorgeous.

You were amazing, you should be proud of yourself.

- I am.

(soft upbeat music)

(wind whooshing)

(cassette music playing)

(thunder rumbling)

(lady screaming)

This is just terrible.

- Shush.

- They're always trying some vanian or whatever.

"Eh, I want to suck your blood, (indistinct)."

- (laughs) Shush.

(Andy laughs)

- I'm just saying,

I've never seen a chance vanian vampire before.

Shut up, I like this part.

- One thing never like Irish.

"Eh, I've been wanting to suck your blood (laughs)."

- Andy seriously, shush.

I'm peckish.

- Me too.

- I'll be back.

- [Reporter] In a moment we shall know what (indistinct).

(dog howling)

(thunder rumbling)

(lady screaming)

(tapping sound)

- What's going on?

(Peter breathing heavily)

What are you doing, hey?

(Peter breathing heavily)

(bright dramatic music)

Sometimes I miss pizza.

(Andy chuckles)

(bright ethereal music)

♪ I got a question for you, baby ♪

♪ Do I make you a little crazy ♪

♪ 'Cause I've been feeling something lately ♪

♪ And it ain't no good, but I think I should ♪

♪ Hold onto this feeling even if it's fleeting ♪

♪ 'Cause everything about it I love ♪

♪ And when my heart is bleeding and all the fires burning ♪

♪ It feels good and I can't get enough ♪

♪ 'Cause I need it and it feeds me underneath me ♪

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪

♪ It's like I'm going crazy, love me than you hate me ♪

♪ Oh baby than to trick me ♪

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪

♪ I'm a Google psycho I can't tell if I'm right though ♪

♪ I've never felt quite like this ♪

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪

(bright ethereal music)

(bright upbeat music)

♪ 'Cause I need it and it feeds me underneath me ♪

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪

♪ 'Cause I love it, and I need it underneath me ♪

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪

♪ 'Cause I need it and it feeds me underneath me ♪

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪

♪ Feels like I'm going crazy, you love me than you hate me ♪

♪ Oh baby than to trick me ♪

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪

♪ I'm a Google psycho I can't tell if I'm right though ♪

♪ I've never felt quite like this ♪

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪

(bright ethereal music)

♪ Is this heaven or hell ♪