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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,571 ♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪ 2 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:35,369 ♪ Puff your cares away ♪ 3 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:43,126 ♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪ 4 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:49,049 ♪ Night and day ♪ 5 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:57,390 ♪ Blow, blow them through the air ♪ 6 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:03,313 ♪ Silky little rings ♪ 7 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:07,441 ♪ Those little smoke rings I love ♪ 8 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,739 Hi. 9 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:14,992 Hey. 10 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,411 How was… How was the thing? 11 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,082 Well, you know. 12 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,337 It was a journalist's book party in Midtown. 13 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,548 How do you think it was? 14 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,011 - Utterly fine? - Violently fine. 15 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,430 Anthony dropped by for a bit. 16 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,806 Yeah? How'd he look? 17 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,434 Frail. 18 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,227 Wonder why he bothered showing up. 19 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,478 Life is for the living. 20 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,397 Does that constitute living? 21 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,274 A journalist book party in Midtown? 22 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,483 I had fun. 23 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,531 - Did you? - Yeah. 24 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,616 Although I did get trapped for about 20 minutes 25 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,535 by that artist lady who wears those hats. 26 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,203 Lizzie is a publicist. 27 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,207 The reason you think she's an artist is because she's a good publicist. 28 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,084 Um. 29 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,591 Wha-What are you doing? 30 00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,217 What does it look like I'm doing? 31 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,139 I love this song. 32 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,896 ♪ This is no ordinary love ♪ 33 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,522 You know what else I love? 34 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,566 Mmm? 35 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,110 I love you. 36 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,408 I love you too. 37 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:46,415 Tonight would have been so much more fun if you were there. 38 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,669 Everything's more fun when I'm there. 39 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:54,049 That's usually true. 40 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,678 You know, I think this is the first song we ever danced to. 41 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,681 God, we barely knew each other then. 42 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,516 - I knew you. I knew who you were. - Mmm? 43 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,017 - Yeah? - You were fearless. 44 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,353 No, I was terrified. 45 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,314 ♪ A love like that won't last? ♪ 46 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,151 The way you used to walk into a room and just own it. 47 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,447 Used to? 48 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,409 No, you-you know what I mean. 49 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,371 Baby, I missed you tonight. 50 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,708 Everyone was asking where you were. 51 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,003 It's hard to keep track of all the excuses at this point. 52 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:37,425 ♪ This is no ordinary love ♪ 53 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:40,804 ♪ No ordinary love ♪ 54 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,268 You're hungry. I don't want the food to get cold. 55 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,328 I'm sorry. 56 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,331 I wasn't trying to guilt-trip you. 57 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,460 Just missed you. 58 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,422 I mean it was a completely mediocre book party in Midtown. I… 59 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,466 Really doesn't sound like I missed much, right? 60 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,557 If you were so desperate to see me, you would have just skipped it to see me. 61 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,351 And the fact that it didn't even occur to you as an option makes me feel like 62 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,730 this isn't just about us spending time together, but about… 63 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,859 people seeing us spend time together. 64 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,818 Just… 65 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,821 I hate showing up to these things alone. 66 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,573 Because of what people will say? 67 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,450 No. No. 68 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,659 Mmm. 69 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,912 - Well, obviously that's part of it. - Mm-hmm. 70 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,414 You know what happens anytime I show up to these things alone. 71 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,168 There's another headline stating that we're headed for divorce. 72 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,505 Uh, well, I mean, at this point, they're gonna write a story no matter what. 73 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,507 - So… - Exactly. 74 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,259 Damned if we do, damned if we don't. 75 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,720 Right, I just… I feel like we're saying the same thing here. 76 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,391 All I'm saying is I'd like to spend time with you outside of this loft. 77 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,482 I have a crazy idea. 78 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,360 - A plate? - Um, let's go on a trip. 79 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,904 - What kind of a trip? - Any kind of trip you want. 80 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:25,574 Mmm. Paris, Belize, Tahiti. 81 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,992 - Tahiti? - Yeah, Tahiti. 82 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,994 Just you and me at the beach. 83 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,331 No parties, no obligation, no press. 84 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:33,749 No clothes. 85 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,293 - Carolyn. - I'm serious. 86 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,673 Maybe after the holidays. 87 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,466 After the holidays? John, it's-it's August. 88 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,679 It's August 30th. That's essentially September. 89 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,514 We have the Delancey Street Foundation dinner 90 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,015 - in San Francisco. - Mm-hmm. 91 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,851 Back to New York for Fashion Week. 92 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,519 Then I have the Cuba trip. 93 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,647 After that, we're in the Vineyard, straight to Red Gate. 94 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,775 Then we're back in the city for Terry and Valerie's Halloween party. 95 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,152 November is the George anniversary dinner. 96 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,737 - Mm-hmm. - Thanksgiving at Hyannis. 97 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,239 Christmas with the cousins. 98 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,740 Your birthday in January. 99 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,952 Figured you'd wanna be with friends, but, yeah, a trip sounds nice. 100 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:17,042 Okay, so what you're saying is we can't go on vacation until 1998? 101 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,044 Of course not. 102 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,672 We have Hyannis next weekend, remember? 103 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,176 Fuck me, I forgot. 104 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,723 You know, a lot of people consider the Cape to be 105 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,726 one of the most beautiful areas of the country. 106 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,643 Yeah, I'm aware of that. 107 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,062 I don't have a problem with the Cape. It's the compound. 108 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,064 What about it? 109 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,774 Come on. 110 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,027 No, let's hear it. 111 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,820 Out with it. 112 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,949 Um. It's not relaxing. Every minute of the day is accounted for. 113 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,454 We can't sleep in, we can't sit on the beach, we can't go for a walk. 114 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,332 - There's no privacy, so we never have sex. - Hmm. 115 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,918 Oh. There's never enough hot water, which is frankly mind-boggling, 116 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,004 given the marvel that is modern plumbing. 117 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:05,508 And even in the height of summer, it's always cold, like w-how? 118 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,178 And there are all these insane, unwritten rules. 119 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:13,183 Like, uh, board games are verboten, but playing cards encouraged. 120 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,809 What's the difference? 121 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,438 Oh. And yogurt at breakfast is sensible, but yogurt at lunch is, 122 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,981 and I'm quoting your cousin here, 123 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,109 - "Some Weight Watchers shit." - "Some Weight Watchers shit." 124 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,738 Oh. And that, um, that rule about no TV during the day. 125 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,281 Well, that's not a rule. 126 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,993 It's just… Do you wanna watch TV during the day? 127 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,953 I want the option. 128 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:39,541 Spending your day in front of the TV on a beautiful summer's day is just wasteful. 129 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,126 So it is a rule? 130 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,211 It's a norm. 131 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,714 Oh, there's nothing norm about it, trust me. 132 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,634 Everyone shoots me these judgmental looks whenever I read magazines. 133 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:52,680 And-And before you say that Caroline reads magazines all the time too, 134 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:56,100 let me interrupt your interruption and say that Caroline reads The New Republic, 135 00:07:56,101 --> 00:08:00,355 and while, technically, yes, that's a magazine, spiritually, it's a book. 136 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,732 Vogue, that's a magazine. 137 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,859 And don't think I haven't noticed the expectant looks 138 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,820 on everyone's faces when I abstain from a cocktail. 139 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,614 I am basically guzzling Dark 'n' Stormys prophylactically 140 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,865 at this point. 141 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,743 Yeah, I-I have to drink or else people will think I'm pregnant. 142 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,495 You think I'm joking, but I'm serious. 143 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,374 I-I just feel like I'm on display, like… like there's this sense of visibility. 144 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,961 Like-like my body is this living, breathing report card 145 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,256 broadcasting the state of our relationship. 146 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,175 You could always drink a Sea Breeze. 147 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,010 - And the clams. - The clams? 148 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,178 Over Fourth of July weekend, 149 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,431 your family had five clambakes over three days. 150 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,433 Six actually. 151 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,227 We had a midnight clambake, but I let you sleep through that one. 152 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,187 Who wants clams at midnight? 153 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,857 That-That's diabolical. That's sadistic. 154 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,609 Okay, okay, I hear you. 155 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,530 - Hyannis can be specific. - No, I believe I said, "Sadistic." 156 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,158 I like spending time with our family. I'm sorry. 157 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,367 John, they're your family. 158 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,618 They're your family too. 159 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,954 - Family is important. - Yeah, you and me, we're a family. 160 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,215 Hello. 161 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,093 What? 162 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,054 What happened? 163 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,975 Laur-Lauren, slow down, you're scaring me. 164 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,436 What's going on? 165 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,355 Mm-hmm. 166 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,900 Okay, what channel? 167 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,693 Will you? 168 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,738 Yeah, okay, let me call you back, all right? 169 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,947 Love you. Bye. 170 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,577 An update now on the condition of Princess Diana, 171 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,663 who was involved in a traffic accident in Paris this evening. 172 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,457 She is in a serious condition. 173 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,709 She was driving with her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed. 174 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,545 He, according to police officials, died in the accident… 175 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,589 - Oh, my God! - …along with a chauffeur. 176 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,676 The princess's bodyguard was also injured. We don't know his condition at this hour. 177 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,512 - The accident happened… - Oh, my God. 178 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,347 …as Diana's car was being pursued 179 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,225 by a group of paparazzis on motorcycles as they entered a tunnel 180 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,102 - along the River Seine. - I just saw her. 181 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,645 - What? - At Gianni's funeral. 182 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,438 I-I sat right behind her. 183 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,566 She has been monitoring Paris for any new information. 184 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,069 - Nina, can you hear me? - Yes, I can. 185 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,489 Dodi Al-Fayed, obviously, a very famous man, a millionaire as well. 186 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,865 Do you have any news on his condition? 187 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,869 We have police reports and others saying that he is in fact… 188 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:24,248 All we know at the moment is that he has in fact… 189 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,041 …as well as the driver. 190 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,585 Princess Diana apparently has been severely injured 191 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,212 as well as a bodyguard. 192 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,839 Do we know the nature of her injury? 193 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,632 - Carolyn. - Not at this moment. 194 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,634 - We know that she has been taken… - Carolyn. 195 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,718 Yeah? 196 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,013 The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean? 197 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:41,850 What? 198 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,810 The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean? 199 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:45,894 I-I don't know. 200 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,272 There has been no comment from Buckingham Palace… 201 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,399 You don't know if you ran the dishwasher or not? 202 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,484 - What? - I don't get how you don't know. 203 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,778 - You either ran it or you didn't. - Why are you asking me? 204 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,946 You've been home all day. 205 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,823 Do you remember hearing the dishwasher run? 206 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,449 Yes, I did a dish wash. 207 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,620 The paparazzi, of course, have been trying to photograph 208 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,791 Princess Diana with Dodi Al-Fayed, a famous millionaire with whom 209 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,961 she has been in a romantic relationship for the last couple of weeks. 210 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,547 Have they been engendering a fair bit of publicity 211 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:16,091 while they were in Paris? 'Cause most people knew they were there. 212 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:20,847 Oh, yes. There has been an extraordinary amount of tabloid and media… 213 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,140 What can you tell us 214 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,058 about the area of Paris where the accident occurred? 215 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,019 I guess it was the entrance ramp of the tunnel. 216 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,771 It was an entrance route to the underground tunnel 217 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,690 that goes under the Seine River. 218 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:36,612 This area is well-known by tourists. So it's a very well-populated area. 219 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,238 Let's go back 220 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,615 to the scene of the wreckage. 221 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,702 There's the recognizable back end of the Mercedes sedan, 222 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,496 and there is the unrecognizable front end 223 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,666 of what must have been a high-speed collision. 224 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,377 In the front part of the car, the two flashes of white there 225 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,964 are the deployed airbags, the remnants of the airbags. 226 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,426 Princess Diana is unmatched when it comes to generating interest 227 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,553 and, indeed, cash for deserving projects… 228 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,555 - I'm going for a run. - …taken an interest. 229 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,390 - Her most high-profile involvement… - What? 230 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,559 …has been to draw the world's attention 231 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,479 - to the horrors facing civilians… - John. 232 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,314 I'll be back in a bit. 233 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,029 Diana was also recently… 234 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,157 …mostly dominating headlines in the newspaper, 235 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,286 especially in Britain, concerning her relationship with Dodi Al-Fayed, 236 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,164 which reported that she joined her 40-year-old millionaire companion 237 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,376 and a group of friends for a Mediterranean cruise, 238 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,671 once again, putting her personal life under scrutiny. 239 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,632 Her private holiday was filmed by the Italian paparazzi, 240 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,969 who are now auctioning the photographs to the highest bidder. 241 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,679 We will continue to cover… 242 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,683 ♪ We escape ♪ 243 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:56,484 ♪ Breathe ♪ 244 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,779 ♪ Keep breathing ♪ 245 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,575 ♪ I can't do this ♪ 246 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,330 ♪ Alone ♪ 247 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:24,887 ♪ You can laugh ♪ 248 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:32,937 ♪ A spineless laugh ♪ 249 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,606 ♪ We hope your rules ♪ 250 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,609 …it said, and I quote, 251 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,194 "Princess Diana has died." 252 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:48,161 ♪ And wisdom choke you ♪ 253 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:57,086 ♪ Now we are one ♪ 254 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:05,344 ♪ In everlasting peace ♪ 255 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:11,893 ♪ We hope that you choke ♪ 256 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:18,066 ♪ That you choke ♪ 257 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,833 …very tragic turn, with confirmation 258 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,335 from Buckingham Palace tonight 259 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:42,464 that the world has lost Princess Diana at age 36. 260 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,759 The official cause of death was listed as cardiac arrest 261 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,803 following massive trauma and head injuries. 262 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,054 She's dead. 263 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,640 Doctors noted that these injuries were consistent 264 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,559 with a high-speed collision. 265 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,561 If you are now tuning in, we have been covering… 266 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,731 - They killed her. - …accident of Princess… 267 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,983 She did everything right, posed for every photo, 268 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,069 gave them everything they wanted, and they just… 269 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,822 Her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed, was killed outright… 270 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,533 - …they still killed her. - …the Mercedes car. 271 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,160 - Surgeons at a nearby hospital… - It's very sad. 272 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:15,539 - It's monstrous. - …a battle they lost. 273 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,623 The British ambassador… 274 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,292 She was their princess, and they treated her like prey. 275 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,170 …which we now know got rather frantic 276 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,339 as they started to lose her pulse. 277 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,633 - At the scene, police… - I gotta clean my face off. 278 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:30,595 …paparazzi photographers allegedly pursuing the princess's car 279 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,264 in a high-speed chase. 280 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,807 Seven men were arrested. 281 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,852 And the film rolls have all been confiscated. 282 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,354 And the world is slowly learning of this news… 283 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,608 You know, I think there's something really macabre about watching this shit 284 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,695 when right now, halfway across the world, someone is waking up her kids 285 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,072 before they find out their parent is dead on TV. 286 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,324 He and the First Lady have sent 287 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,995 their condolences to Buckingham Palace. 288 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:59,417 There are reports that the royal family, uh, they are at Balmoral in Scotland… 289 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,172 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. 290 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,314 Those poor boys. 291 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,567 At least they have each other. 292 00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,695 Like you and Caroline. 293 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,781 - Like me and Caroline? - Yeah. 294 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:34,452 This is nothing like what me and Caroline went through. 295 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,455 They're princes. They're members of a monarchy. 296 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,541 I was three when my dad died. I grew up 60 blocks from here. 297 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,420 I rode my bike to school. It's night and day. 298 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,632 Okay. 299 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,597 You're telling me it wasn't like that. 300 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:57,934 What was it like? 301 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,188 - I don't wanna talk about it. - John. 302 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,732 You're making assumptions and trying to tell me 303 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,108 what my own childhood was like, 304 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,194 and I have everyone else in the world to do that for me 305 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,364 without having to hear it from my own wife. 306 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,084 John. 307 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,505 I'm just trying to understand. 308 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,968 Does it not scare you? 309 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,353 John. 310 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,898 Fine. 311 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,902 You wanna know what I'm so scared of? What's going through my head? 312 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,698 What I was thinking about the entire time during my jog? 313 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,909 That you are never gonna leave the house again. 314 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,161 Do I see the parallels between what we deal with 315 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,621 and what happened to her? 316 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,040 Of course I do. But can I say that? 317 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,420 No, it'll just be one more thing that's gonna stop you from living your life. 318 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,801 You wanna know why I can't watch this? 319 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,390 Because if I do, I'll never fucking stop, okay? 320 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,782 Do you wanna hear about my childhood? 321 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,786 I don't remember my dad dying, at all. 322 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:46,374 But what I remember vividly is my mom being basically in a trance. 323 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,210 And the hours that Caroline and the nanny and I spent 324 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,548 while my mom was locked away in a dark room, crying alone. 325 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:04,143 And why… Couldn't she just play with me? 326 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:14,028 It was my mother I watched die, not my dad. 327 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,739 I watched her die twice. 328 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,374 And now it feels like I'm watching you slip away. 329 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,585 You're choosing the darkness. 330 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:35,007 I'm watching it happen. I feel like I'm being abandoned again. 331 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,219 I can't lose you. You're the one person I can't lose. 332 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,303 Do you understand that? 333 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:44,140 I've lost so many people in my life, and I can't lose you. 334 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,643 I can't. I can't lose you. 335 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:51,690 - John. - I can't, I can't. I can't. 336 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,280 I can't lose you, Carolyn. 337 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,992 Breathe. 338 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,162 I'm not going anywhere. 339 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,210 Just breathe. 340 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:39,280 ♪ Now you should smile ♪ 341 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:45,536 ♪ Though your heart is aching ♪ 342 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:52,793 ♪ Smile even though it's breaking ♪ 343 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:59,175 ♪ When there are clouds ♪ 344 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:03,053 ♪ Way up in the sky ♪ 345 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,224 ♪ You're gonna get by ♪ 346 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,687 ♪ That's the time ♪ 347 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:17,067 ♪ You must keep on trying ♪ 348 00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:19,820 ♪ Oh, you gotta smile ♪ 349 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,993 ♪ What's the use of crying ♪ 350 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,624 ♪ You'll find that life is still ♪ 351 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:38,964 ♪ Worthwhile ♪ 352 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,092 ♪ If you'd just ♪ 353 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:47,473 ♪ Smile ♪ 354 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,350 ♪ Come on ♪ 355 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:56,357 ♪ Now show me a little smile ♪ 356 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,821 You're gonna hurt yourself. 357 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,992 - You sure you don't want a hand? - No, I'm good. 358 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,164 God, we went through so much wine. 359 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,166 Uh-huh. 360 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,769 Hey, Jason. It's John. 361 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:37,273 My dinner is done. I'm just at home. 362 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:39,233 Give me a call whenever. 363 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,903 Why are you calling your flight instructor? 364 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:46,031 What are you talking about? I talk to him all the time. 365 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,119 I have to log 40 more hours before I'm instrument-rated. 366 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,497 You just crashed flying that ridiculous lawn mower contraption. 367 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,583 I think it's obvious you need a bit more time than that. 368 00:22:56,584 --> 00:23:00,086 It's called a Buckeye, and it's an entirely different machine. 369 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,381 Buckeyes have nothing to do with airplanes. 370 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:06,843 Didn't you promise Caroline you were done with flying? 371 00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:09,555 Since when are you so concerned with what Caroline wants? 372 00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:15,811 What are you doing? 373 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,522 - I want my cigarettes. - No, just sit. Sit. I'll get them for you. 374 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:22,025 I don't want you hobbling up the stairs. 375 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:24,445 They're not up the stairs. They're in my room. 376 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:43,087 You know, if we left now, we could probably catch the tail end 377 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,007 of that Vanity Fair party at Pravda. 378 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:50,053 John, you're not supposed to be putting any pressure on that ankle. 379 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,348 No parties, no stairs, no flying lessons. 380 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,892 Well, we'll take a cab. I can sit when I get there. 381 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,022 - Ugh. Fuck. - I'm wiped. 382 00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:04,317 But if you wanna go, you should go. 383 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:05,986 Wiped? It's not even 11:00. 384 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,743 Can you please stop with the candle? 385 00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:15,371 Wait, is this a fight right now? 386 00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,248 No, I'm fine. 387 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,210 What? What now? 388 00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:28,216 Fine, if you want me to sit here and beg you for it, I will. 389 00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:30,093 Or we can just fast-forward to the part 390 00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,304 where you tell me exactly how it is I fucked up. 391 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,851 You told me to go work for Petra. 392 00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,813 - When? - Uh, thirty minutes ago, 393 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,440 at this dinner party you insisted on hosting. 394 00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:47,819 Petra was complaining about how difficult it is to find 395 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,780 anyone with work experience willing to build something from the ground up 396 00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:52,991 and accept a pay cut, and you started yelling at me for-- 397 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,410 - I did not yell. - Yeah, John, you were literally yelling. 398 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:58,162 And I know that because you were seated at the other end of the table. 399 00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,373 All I said was that you had fashion experience 400 00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:02,251 - and you didn't need money. - PR. 401 00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:08,631 - I have PR experience. - At Calvin Klein. 402 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,216 Isn't that fashion? That's fashion. 403 00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:13,469 Petra has a jewelry line, John. I'm not a jewelry designer. 404 00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,972 Well, I'm sorry for insinuating that you have great taste. 405 00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:18,058 Yeah, that qualifies me to buy jewelry. 406 00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,352 Not make it. 407 00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:29,527 It's humiliating getting pitched for job after job 408 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,237 regardless of my interests or qualifications. 409 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:33,156 - When have I ever-- - You do it all the time. 410 00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:34,449 I mean, you practically shoved me 411 00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,743 into André Leon Talley's lap at that fundraiser. 412 00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:38,745 - No, I did not. - John, yes, you did. 413 00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:41,039 You know, it makes me feel like I am this dead weight 414 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,042 that you are desperate to shed. You're just… You're… 415 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,503 You're getting wax all over the table. 416 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,506 I thought you hated this table. 417 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:01,601 What did you mean I insisted on hosting this dinner party? 418 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,144 It was your idea, wasn't it? 419 00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:05,938 Well, I knew better than to suggest we go to a restaurant, 420 00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:07,857 or anywhere else other than this apartment. 421 00:26:07,858 --> 00:26:09,233 Are you seriously that upset 422 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,320 that I organized a dinner party for your friends? 423 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:14,490 It really bothers me when you do that. 424 00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:16,741 Do what? 425 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,035 Delineate between my friends and your friends. 426 00:26:19,036 --> 00:26:21,955 We're a unit, John. They're our friends. 427 00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:26,710 Okay, Carolyn. 428 00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,130 - Pronoun rescinded. - What are you doing? 429 00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:33,050 Sorry if my grammar offended you. 430 00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:46,813 Y-You seemed perfectly happy holding court with my friends. 431 00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:49,817 Yeah, well, they were bombarding me with questions. 432 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,529 Yes. 433 00:26:56,156 --> 00:27:00,827 And to be honest, I think people are uncomfortable asking you 434 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,286 about what's going on in your life 435 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,705 'cause they're not sure if you want to talk about it. 436 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:07,166 What do you mean what's going on in my life? 437 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,921 You know, that you're still trying to figure out your thing. 438 00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:13,048 My thing. 439 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,678 You know, enough with this relentless pressure to have a thing. 440 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,013 Why do I have to have a thing? 441 00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:23,641 It's all I hear about from your family and your friends 442 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,685 and-and the press, and especially you. 443 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:27,728 Because it's not enough to just be a Kennedy, no. 444 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,856 No, you have to work at the NRDC or make a documentary 445 00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:31,984 or write a book about constitutional law. 446 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:36,237 I am 33 years old. I've been working since I'm 15. 447 00:27:36,238 --> 00:27:38,656 Can't my thing just be taking a beat 448 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,741 to settle into my marriage and enjoy my life? 449 00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:44,162 Is that what you're doing all day alone in the apartment, enjoying your life? 450 00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:48,584 I'm figuring it out. 451 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,794 And in the meantime, I don't wanna just join some board 452 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:55,172 because it would make you feel better when people ask me what I do at dinner parties. 453 00:27:55,173 --> 00:27:57,216 I would think you, of all people, should be able to understand that. 454 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,676 - Me, of all people? - Yes, John. 455 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,138 You, of all people, should know what this is like. 456 00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,473 Instead, you just come at me with all this unhelpful help, 457 00:28:04,474 --> 00:28:06,517 like it's become a full-time job just… 458 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:10,521 just batting away this constant barrage of indiscriminate suggestions 459 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,691 on how to fill my days, and-and… 460 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,861 and I… I feel guilty. 461 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,282 Because I know you think you're trying to be helpful, but it doesn't… 462 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:23,452 It doesn't feel helpful. 463 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,246 It feels like you're judging me. 464 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,040 So, what am I supposed to do when you complain 465 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:31,001 about how unmoored your life feels? 466 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,836 Just sit there and say nothing? 467 00:28:33,837 --> 00:28:35,088 Yes. Yes. 468 00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,257 Just say nothing. 469 00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,218 Just… Just listen. 470 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,220 That's what I need from you. 471 00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:46,474 I just need you to sit and listen and let me feel lost. 472 00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:50,771 Can I… Like, can I just… f-feel lost? 473 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,899 Can you please allow me the space to do that? 474 00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:56,859 Yes. 475 00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,862 - Okay. - Yes, I can do that. 476 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:07,161 You know, look, I get that it's daunting to start over, but just look at my mom. 477 00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:08,705 Oh, my God. 478 00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:12,416 She was a lifelong reader who became a book editor at the age of 46. 479 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,877 Forty-six. Yes, John, I know. I know. 480 00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:16,963 All I'm saying is that she figured it out 481 00:29:16,964 --> 00:29:20,091 despite public scrutiny or the threat of public scrutiny. 482 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:23,803 John, it is impossible for me to overstate just how aware I am 483 00:29:23,804 --> 00:29:26,055 that your mother was a very impressive woman. 484 00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:27,557 Believe me, okay? 485 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,477 But do you think your mother could have held a nine-to-five job in publishing 486 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,939 when she was married to the most famous man on the planet? 487 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:37,692 - She did that when she was a widow. - Enough! Enough about my mother. 488 00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:40,778 - What? John, John, you brought her up. - And now I'm saying to drop it. 489 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,655 - You mention my mother enough. - Your mother's still here 490 00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:43,906 - to defend herself. - Mm-hmm. 491 00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:46,742 You don't know how lucky you are that I never introduced you to my mother 492 00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:48,954 because she never would have encouraged this. 493 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,914 Us. 494 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,173 Wow. 495 00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,758 I mean, it's not like I would have listened to her. 496 00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:04,177 No, no. Yeah. Sure. 497 00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:10,558 Maybe I should have listened to mine. 498 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:11,726 What? 499 00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:13,979 My mother basically told me I should end this. 500 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:15,605 When? 501 00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:20,609 - At the wedding. - All right. The speech. 502 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,070 No, no, it was earlier. 503 00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:27,284 - That afternoon. - What are you talking about? 504 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,745 Carolyn. 505 00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:33,915 Carolyn, what are you talking about? 506 00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,877 - Carolyn. - My mother came into my room 507 00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:40,922 the day of our rehearsal dinner and warned me not to marry you. 508 00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:45,009 She said that you would never prioritize me, 509 00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:48,429 that you'd always choose your job or your family or yourself, 510 00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:51,141 that you would never make space for me in your life. 511 00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:55,770 And I pushed back on her, I told her she was wrong, 512 00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:59,565 - and now… now I-I don't know that she was. - Carolyn, I do make space for you. 513 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:02,861 No, John, John, I know you think you do, but you're always out. 514 00:31:04,362 --> 00:31:08,449 You come home at 11:00, at midnight. Last night, you were home at 3:00 a.m. 515 00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:10,367 Yeah, well, we're closing the August issue of George. 516 00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:11,703 You're always… Uh… 517 00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,416 You're always closing the magazine. 518 00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:20,419 Or you're out getting drinks to celebrate closing the magazine, 519 00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,964 or you're chasing some writer or investor, or you're tearing up the layout, 520 00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,467 and if it's not the magazine, it's a Kennedy benefit 521 00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:29,428 or a fundraiser or a Senate run. 522 00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,139 So you don't support it. 523 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:36,645 I support you. 524 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,899 And I'd support it if I really thought it was something you believed in, 525 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:45,278 but everything for you comes out of this misplaced sense of obligation. 526 00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:48,030 Like your lunch idea. 527 00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:50,032 I specifically set aside two lunches a week, 528 00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:51,826 so that I can spend time with you. 529 00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:54,286 That's not the same as wanting to spend time with me. 530 00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:56,915 - It's literally the same thing. - No, lunch is a checkbox. 531 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,543 It's something you can tell yourself to absolve yourself of guilt. 532 00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,671 - What guilt? - You don't want to be around me. 533 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,340 You don't want to talk to me. 534 00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:07,883 Half the time, you're sleeping in the other room. 535 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,218 I talk to you all the time. 536 00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:12,055 No, John, you're not interested in me. 537 00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,849 You don't solicit my advice. 538 00:32:14,850 --> 00:32:16,976 You're not fascinated by what I want to say. 539 00:32:16,977 --> 00:32:18,185 You're not curious about me. 540 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:20,771 You talk to me just long enough to keep the peace, 541 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,108 just long enough to prevent more conversation. 542 00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:28,362 You used to be desperate to spend every single second with me, 543 00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,614 and now you treat our marriage like it's this layover 544 00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:32,659 between places that you really want to be. 545 00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,996 And I get it. 546 00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,585 I imagine it's tough seeing how unhappy you make me. 547 00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:52,637 You know what? 548 00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:54,264 It is. 549 00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,940 And that's all I seem to be capable of lately… 550 00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:06,776 is disappointing people. 551 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:11,655 I spend all day fighting with publishers, investors, bankers, 552 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,951 all telling me to take my magazine out back and shoot it in the head. 553 00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:19,788 And then I come home and I fight with you about how I'm never home. 554 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:22,166 And then I go to bed each night dreading the moment I get up 555 00:33:22,167 --> 00:33:24,376 and having to do it all over again. 556 00:33:24,377 --> 00:33:27,296 And the worst part about it is that I wanna talk to you about all of this, 557 00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:30,007 but you feel a million miles away. 558 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,010 You're here, but you're not here. 559 00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:37,348 And I miss you, Carolyn. I miss the person I fell in love with. 560 00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,226 John, I'm right here. 561 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:43,647 I am the person you fell in love with. 562 00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,858 But you don't want this version of me. 563 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,736 You want… You want the cold, unattainable, 564 00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:53,865 shiny version, the-the version of me that's like a trophy. 565 00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:56,867 I mean, the moment I started being vulnerable with you, you-- 566 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,703 You think you're vulnerable with me? 567 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:04,291 To be vulnerable, you'd actually have to want something and need something. 568 00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:07,753 The only thing you seem to want to do is tell me again and again and again 569 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,129 how much you hate our life. 570 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,423 I knew it. I knew it. I should never have let my guard down. 571 00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:14,052 I broke my own rule. I'm so dumb. 572 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,180 - I've just been bracing myself. - For what? 573 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,723 I'm always bracing myself, John. 574 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,851 I have spent my entire life just bracing myself 575 00:34:22,852 --> 00:34:25,896 for these terrible things to happen to me and deal with them alone. 576 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:27,857 And this is no different from any of that. 577 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,734 You knew who I was before you married me. 578 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:33,905 God, I wish people would stop telling me that. 579 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,491 No one knows who they're marrying. 580 00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,035 Apparently not. 581 00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:46,626 People are supposed to change, John. 582 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,379 I didn't. 583 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,758 You say that like it's a virtue, like it's… like it's somehow commendable. 584 00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:57,386 You haven't made any space for me in your life. 585 00:34:57,387 --> 00:34:59,847 Tell me one thing that you have changed in your life 586 00:34:59,848 --> 00:35:01,557 since we've been married. 587 00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:04,018 You live in the same loft, you have the same job, the same friends, 588 00:35:04,019 --> 00:35:06,520 you spend the same weekends at Red Gate or Hyannis, 589 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,231 the same schedule. 590 00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:13,485 Everything in my life has changed. Do you understand that? 591 00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:15,280 That's your choice. 592 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:17,990 You act like every misfortune in your life 593 00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:20,200 is the result of some ultimatum I've given you, 594 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:23,245 like you have zero agency in this relationship. 595 00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:26,498 I didn't make you quit your job. I didn't make you marry me. 596 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:30,044 I didn't tell you to let the tabloids ruin your life. But you know what? 597 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:32,421 I think there's a part of you that enjoys this shit with the press. 598 00:35:32,422 --> 00:35:35,174 - Excuse me? - Yeah, so you can lord it over me. 599 00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:37,509 Punish me with it, fault me endlessly 600 00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:40,512 for not controlling things outside of my control. 601 00:35:40,513 --> 00:35:41,597 You relish it. 602 00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,433 It's like you have no identity outside of your own victimhood. 603 00:35:44,434 --> 00:35:48,437 Thank you. Thank you. You love how hated I am. 604 00:35:48,438 --> 00:35:50,230 Of course you do, because you're America's son, 605 00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:53,735 and I am just another tragedy you bravely endure. 606 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:06,665 Well. Yeah, I think I may have hit my limit. 607 00:36:11,336 --> 00:36:13,004 What are you talking about? 608 00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:21,220 John, what are you talking about? 609 00:36:21,221 --> 00:36:25,057 Maybe I've endured enough tragedy for one lifetime. 610 00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:26,851 Fuck. 611 00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:35,902 John, come back. 612 00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,114 John! 613 00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:43,451 John, what are you doing? 614 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,621 What… 615 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,373 I can't keep doing this. 616 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,211 What are you talking about? 617 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,963 Doing what? What are you… What are you talking about? 618 00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:58,549 Everything and everyone I touch falls apart, 619 00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:00,259 and now this is falling apart too. 620 00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:04,555 And I just think that if I stay, I'm gonna do or say something that I'll regret. 621 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,808 L-Like what? Like what, John? 622 00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:09,518 I'll be at the Stanhope. Just a day or two. 623 00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:12,230 No, J-John, just say what you were gonna say. 624 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,732 There is nothing you can say to me 625 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:17,444 that would hurt me more than you walking out that door. 626 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,654 Do you know what it's like to see it in your eyes 627 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,448 that I'm failing at this marriage? 628 00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:25,577 Like I failed as a lawyer and now I'm failing as a magazine editor. 629 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:29,747 I couldn't help my mom. And I can't help Anthony. 630 00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:32,166 And I don't think I can handle another failure right now. 631 00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,168 No, John. 632 00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:39,382 When I told you everything ends, you said not us. 633 00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:44,052 What happened to not us, John? 634 00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:46,805 What happened to not us? What happened to not us? 635 00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:48,850 What happened to not us? 636 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:53,062 What happened to not us? 637 00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:56,482 When I told you everything ends, you said not us. 638 00:37:56,483 --> 00:37:58,526 What happened to not us? 639 00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:06,200 This isn't ending. 640 00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:07,577 Yes, it is. 641 00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:11,121 You're running away. 642 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:13,123 I don't want to keep hurting you, Carolyn. 643 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:15,000 I wanna be with you. 644 00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:16,543 Then be with me. 645 00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:18,171 I don't wanna fight. 646 00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:22,258 You have to. 647 00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:26,386 That's what people do. They fight. They stay, they fight. 648 00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:28,889 If we keep fighting, we're gonna lose each other. 649 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:31,643 Please don't leave me. 650 00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:34,187 Please. 651 00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:44,948 Please don't prove my mother right. 652 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,333 I'm coming back, I promise. 653 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,593 I love you. 53227

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