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♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪
2
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♪ Puff your cares away ♪
3
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♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪
4
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:49,049
♪ Night and day ♪
5
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:57,390
♪ Blow, blow them through the air ♪
6
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:03,313
♪ Silky little rings ♪
7
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♪ Those little smoke rings I love ♪
8
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Hi.
9
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Hey.
10
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How was… How was the thing?
11
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Well, you know.
12
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It was a journalist's
book party in Midtown.
13
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How do you think it was?
14
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- Utterly fine?
- Violently fine.
15
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Anthony dropped by for a bit.
16
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Yeah? How'd he look?
17
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Frail.
18
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Wonder why he bothered showing up.
19
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Life is for the living.
20
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Does that constitute living?
21
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A journalist book party
in Midtown?
22
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,483
I had fun.
23
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- Did you?
- Yeah.
24
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Although I did get trapped
for about 20 minutes
25
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,535
by that artist lady who wears those hats.
26
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Lizzie is a publicist.
27
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,207
The reason you think she's an artist
is because she's a good publicist.
28
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,084
Um.
29
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,591
Wha-What are you doing?
30
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,217
What does it look like I'm doing?
31
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,139
I love this song.
32
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♪ This is no ordinary love ♪
33
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You know what else I love?
34
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Mmm?
35
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I love you.
36
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,408
I love you too.
37
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:46,415
Tonight would have been
so much more fun if you were there.
38
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,669
Everything's more fun when I'm there.
39
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:54,049
That's usually true.
40
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,678
You know, I think this is
the first song we ever danced to.
41
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God, we barely knew each other then.
42
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,516
- I knew you. I knew who you were.
- Mmm?
43
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,017
- Yeah?
- You were fearless.
44
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,353
No, I was terrified.
45
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,314
♪ A love like that won't last? ♪
46
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The way you used to walk
into a room and just own it.
47
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Used to?
48
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No, you-you know what I mean.
49
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,371
Baby, I missed you tonight.
50
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,708
Everyone was asking where you were.
51
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,003
It's hard to keep track
of all the excuses at this point.
52
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♪ This is no ordinary love ♪
53
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♪ No ordinary love ♪
54
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,268
You're hungry.
I don't want the food to get cold.
55
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,328
I'm sorry.
56
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,331
I wasn't trying to guilt-trip you.
57
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Just missed you.
58
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,422
I mean it was a completely
mediocre book party in Midtown. I…
59
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,466
Really doesn't sound
like I missed much, right?
60
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,557
If you were so desperate to see me,
you would have just skipped it to see me.
61
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,351
And the fact that it didn't even occur
to you as an option makes me feel like
62
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,730
this isn't just about us spending
time together, but about…
63
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,859
people seeing us spend time together.
64
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,818
Just…
65
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,821
I hate showing up to these things alone.
66
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Because of what people will say?
67
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No. No.
68
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Mmm.
69
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,912
- Well, obviously that's part of it.
- Mm-hmm.
70
00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,414
You know what happens anytime
I show up to these things alone.
71
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,168
There's another headline stating
that we're headed for divorce.
72
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,505
Uh, well, I mean, at this point, they're
gonna write a story no matter what.
73
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,507
- So…
- Exactly.
74
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,259
Damned if we do, damned if we don't.
75
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,720
Right, I just… I feel like
we're saying the same thing here.
76
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,391
All I'm saying is I'd like to spend time
with you outside of this loft.
77
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,482
I have a crazy idea.
78
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,360
- A plate?
- Um, let's go on a trip.
79
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,904
- What kind of a trip?
- Any kind of trip you want.
80
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:25,574
Mmm. Paris, Belize, Tahiti.
81
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,992
- Tahiti?
- Yeah, Tahiti.
82
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Just you and me at the beach.
83
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No parties, no obligation, no press.
84
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No clothes.
85
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,293
- Carolyn.
- I'm serious.
86
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,673
Maybe after the holidays.
87
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,466
After the holidays?
John, it's-it's August.
88
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,679
It's August 30th.
That's essentially September.
89
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,514
We have
the Delancey Street Foundation dinner
90
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,015
- in San Francisco.
- Mm-hmm.
91
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,851
Back to New York for Fashion Week.
92
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,519
Then I have the Cuba trip.
93
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,647
After that, we're in the Vineyard,
straight to Red Gate.
94
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,775
Then we're back in the city
for Terry and Valerie's Halloween party.
95
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,152
November is the George anniversary dinner.
96
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,737
- Mm-hmm.
- Thanksgiving at Hyannis.
97
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,239
Christmas with the cousins.
98
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,740
Your birthday in January.
99
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,952
Figured you'd wanna be with friends,
but, yeah, a trip sounds nice.
100
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:17,042
Okay, so what you're saying is
we can't go on vacation until 1998?
101
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,044
Of course not.
102
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,672
We have Hyannis next weekend, remember?
103
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,176
Fuck me, I forgot.
104
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,723
You know, a lot of people consider
the Cape to be
105
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,726
one of the most beautiful areas
of the country.
106
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,643
Yeah, I'm aware of that.
107
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,062
I don't have a problem with the Cape.
It's the compound.
108
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What about it?
109
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,774
Come on.
110
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,027
No, let's hear it.
111
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,820
Out with it.
112
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,949
Um. It's not relaxing.
Every minute of the day is accounted for.
113
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,454
We can't sleep in, we can't sit
on the beach, we can't go for a walk.
114
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,332
- There's no privacy, so we never have sex.
- Hmm.
115
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,918
Oh. There's never enough hot water,
which is frankly mind-boggling,
116
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,004
given the marvel that is modern plumbing.
117
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:05,508
And even in the height of summer,
it's always cold, like w-how?
118
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,178
And there are all these insane,
unwritten rules.
119
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:13,183
Like, uh, board games are verboten,
but playing cards encouraged.
120
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,809
What's the difference?
121
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,438
Oh. And yogurt at breakfast is
sensible, but yogurt at lunch is,
122
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,981
and I'm quoting your cousin here,
123
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,109
- "Some Weight Watchers shit."
- "Some Weight Watchers shit."
124
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,738
Oh. And that, um, that rule
about no TV during the day.
125
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,281
Well, that's not a rule.
126
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,993
It's just…
Do you wanna watch TV during the day?
127
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,953
I want the option.
128
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:39,541
Spending your day in front of the TV on
a beautiful summer's day is just wasteful.
129
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,126
So it is a rule?
130
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,211
It's a norm.
131
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,714
Oh, there's nothing norm about it,
trust me.
132
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,634
Everyone shoots me these judgmental looks
whenever I read magazines.
133
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:52,680
And-And before you say that Caroline
reads magazines all the time too,
134
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:56,100
let me interrupt your interruption and say
that Caroline reads The New Republic,
135
00:07:56,101 --> 00:08:00,355
and while, technically, yes, that's
a magazine, spiritually, it's a book.
136
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,732
Vogue, that's a magazine.
137
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,859
And don't think I haven't
noticed the expectant looks
138
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,820
on everyone's faces
when I abstain from a cocktail.
139
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,614
I am basically guzzling Dark 'n' Stormys
prophylactically
140
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,865
at this point.
141
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,743
Yeah, I-I have to drink or else
people will think I'm pregnant.
142
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,495
You think I'm joking, but I'm serious.
143
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,374
I-I just feel like I'm on display, like…
like there's this sense of visibility.
144
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,961
Like-like my body is this living,
breathing report card
145
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,256
broadcasting the state
of our relationship.
146
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,175
You could always drink a Sea Breeze.
147
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,010
- And the clams.
- The clams?
148
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,178
Over Fourth of July weekend,
149
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,431
your family had five clambakes
over three days.
150
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,433
Six actually.
151
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,227
We had a midnight clambake,
but I let you sleep through that one.
152
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,187
Who wants clams at midnight?
153
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,857
That-That's diabolical.
That's sadistic.
154
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,609
Okay, okay, I hear you.
155
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,530
- Hyannis can be specific.
- No, I believe I said, "Sadistic."
156
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,158
I like spending time with our family.
I'm sorry.
157
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,367
John, they're your family.
158
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,618
They're your family too.
159
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,954
- Family is important.
- Yeah, you and me, we're a family.
160
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,215
Hello.
161
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,093
What?
162
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,054
What happened?
163
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,975
Laur-Lauren, slow down, you're scaring me.
164
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,436
What's going on?
165
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,355
Mm-hmm.
166
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,900
Okay, what channel?
167
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,693
Will you?
168
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,738
Yeah, okay, let me call you back,
all right?
169
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,947
Love you. Bye.
170
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,577
An update now
on the condition of Princess Diana,
171
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,663
who was involved in a traffic accident
in Paris this evening.
172
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,457
She is in a serious condition.
173
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,709
She was driving with her companion,
Dodi Al-Fayed.
174
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,545
He, according to police officials, died
in the accident…
175
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,589
- Oh, my God!
- …along with a chauffeur.
176
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,676
The princess's bodyguard was also injured.
We don't know his condition at this hour.
177
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,512
- The accident happened…
- Oh, my God.
178
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,347
…as Diana's car
was being pursued
179
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,225
by a group of paparazzis on motorcycles
as they entered a tunnel
180
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,102
- along the River Seine.
- I just saw her.
181
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,645
- What?
- At Gianni's funeral.
182
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,438
I-I sat right behind her.
183
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,566
She has been monitoring
Paris for any new information.
184
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,069
- Nina, can you hear me?
- Yes, I can.
185
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,489
Dodi Al-Fayed, obviously,
a very famous man, a millionaire as well.
186
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,865
Do you have any news on his condition?
187
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,869
We have police reports and others saying
that he is in fact…
188
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:24,248
All we know
at the moment is that he has in fact…
189
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,041
…as well as the driver.
190
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,585
Princess Diana apparently
has been severely injured
191
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,212
as well as a bodyguard.
192
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,839
Do we know
the nature of her injury?
193
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,632
- Carolyn.
- Not at this moment.
194
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,634
- We know that she has been taken…
- Carolyn.
195
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,718
Yeah?
196
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,013
The glasses in the dishwasher,
are they clean?
197
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:41,850
What?
198
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,810
The glasses in the dishwasher,
are they clean?
199
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:45,894
I-I don't know.
200
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,272
There has been no comment
from Buckingham Palace…
201
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,399
You don't know
if you ran the dishwasher or not?
202
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,484
- What?
- I don't get how you don't know.
203
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,778
- You either ran it or you didn't.
- Why are you asking me?
204
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,946
You've been home all day.
205
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,823
Do you remember
hearing the dishwasher run?
206
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,449
Yes, I did a dish wash.
207
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,620
The paparazzi, of course,
have been trying to photograph
208
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,791
Princess Diana with Dodi Al-Fayed,
a famous millionaire with whom
209
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,961
she has been in a romantic relationship
for the last couple of weeks.
210
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,547
Have they been engendering
a fair bit of publicity
211
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:16,091
while they were in Paris?
'Cause most people knew they were there.
212
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:20,847
Oh, yes. There has been an
extraordinary amount of tabloid and media…
213
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,140
What can you tell us
214
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,058
about the area of Paris
where the accident occurred?
215
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,019
I guess it was the entrance ramp
of the tunnel.
216
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,771
It was an entrance route
to the underground tunnel
217
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,690
that goes under the Seine River.
218
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:36,612
This area is well-known by tourists.
So it's a very well-populated area.
219
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,238
Let's go back
220
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,615
to the scene of the wreckage.
221
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,702
There's the recognizable
back end of the Mercedes sedan,
222
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,496
and there is the unrecognizable front end
223
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,666
of what must have been
a high-speed collision.
224
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,377
In the front part of the car,
the two flashes of white there
225
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,964
are the deployed airbags,
the remnants of the airbags.
226
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,426
Princess Diana is unmatched
when it comes to generating interest
227
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,553
and, indeed, cash for deserving projects…
228
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,555
- I'm going for a run.
- …taken an interest.
229
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,390
- Her most high-profile involvement…
- What?
230
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,559
…has been
to draw the world's attention
231
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,479
- to the horrors facing civilians…
- John.
232
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,314
I'll be back in a bit.
233
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,029
Diana was also recently…
234
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,157
…mostly dominating headlines
in the newspaper,
235
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,286
especially in Britain, concerning
her relationship with Dodi Al-Fayed,
236
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,164
which reported that she joined
her 40-year-old millionaire companion
237
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,376
and a group of friends
for a Mediterranean cruise,
238
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,671
once again,
putting her personal life under scrutiny.
239
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,632
Her private holiday was filmed
by the Italian paparazzi,
240
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,969
who are now auctioning the photographs
to the highest bidder.
241
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,679
We will continue to cover…
242
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,683
♪ We escape ♪
243
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:56,484
♪ Breathe ♪
244
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,779
♪ Keep breathing ♪
245
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,575
♪ I can't do this ♪
246
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,330
♪ Alone ♪
247
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:24,887
♪ You can laugh ♪
248
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:32,937
♪ A spineless laugh ♪
249
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,606
♪ We hope your rules ♪
250
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,609
…it said, and I quote,
251
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,194
"Princess Diana has died."
252
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:48,161
♪ And wisdom choke you ♪
253
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:57,086
♪ Now we are one ♪
254
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:05,344
♪ In everlasting peace ♪
255
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:11,893
♪ We hope that you choke ♪
256
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:18,066
♪ That you choke ♪
257
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,833
…very tragic turn,
with confirmation
258
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,335
from Buckingham Palace tonight
259
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:42,464
that the world has lost
Princess Diana at age 36.
260
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,759
The official cause of death was
listed as cardiac arrest
261
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,803
following massive trauma
and head injuries.
262
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,054
She's dead.
263
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,640
Doctors noted
that these injuries were consistent
264
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,559
with a high-speed collision.
265
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,561
If you are now tuning in,
we have been covering…
266
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,731
- They killed her.
- …accident of Princess…
267
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,983
She did everything right,
posed for every photo,
268
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,069
gave them everything they wanted,
and they just…
269
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,822
Her companion,
Dodi Al-Fayed, was killed outright…
270
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,533
- …they still killed her.
- …the Mercedes car.
271
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,160
- Surgeons at a nearby hospital…
- It's very sad.
272
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:15,539
- It's monstrous.
- …a battle they lost.
273
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,623
The British ambassador…
274
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,292
She was their princess,
and they treated her like prey.
275
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,170
…which we now know
got rather frantic
276
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,339
as they started to lose her pulse.
277
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,633
- At the scene, police…
- I gotta clean my face off.
278
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:30,595
…paparazzi photographers
allegedly pursuing the princess's car
279
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,264
in a high-speed chase.
280
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,807
Seven men were arrested.
281
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,852
And the film rolls have
all been confiscated.
282
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,354
And the world
is slowly learning of this news…
283
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,608
You know, I think there's something
really macabre about watching this shit
284
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,695
when right now, halfway across the world,
someone is waking up her kids
285
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,072
before they find out
their parent is dead on TV.
286
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,324
He and the First Lady
have sent
287
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,995
their condolences to Buckingham Palace.
288
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:59,417
There are reports that the royal family,
uh, they are at Balmoral in Scotland…
289
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,172
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
290
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,314
Those poor boys.
291
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,567
At least they have each other.
292
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,695
Like you and Caroline.
293
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,781
- Like me and Caroline?
- Yeah.
294
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:34,452
This is nothing like
what me and Caroline went through.
295
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,455
They're princes.
They're members of a monarchy.
296
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,541
I was three when my dad died.
I grew up 60 blocks from here.
297
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,420
I rode my bike to school.
It's night and day.
298
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,632
Okay.
299
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,597
You're telling me it wasn't like that.
300
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:57,934
What was it like?
301
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,188
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- John.
302
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,732
You're making assumptions
and trying to tell me
303
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,108
what my own childhood was like,
304
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,194
and I have everyone else in the world
to do that for me
305
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,364
without having to hear it
from my own wife.
306
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,084
John.
307
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,505
I'm just trying to understand.
308
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,968
Does it not scare you?
309
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,353
John.
310
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,898
Fine.
311
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,902
You wanna know what I'm so scared of?
What's going through my head?
312
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,698
What I was thinking about
the entire time during my jog?
313
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,909
That you are never
gonna leave the house again.
314
00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,161
Do I see the parallels
between what we deal with
315
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,621
and what happened to her?
316
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,040
Of course I do. But can I say that?
317
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,420
No, it'll just be one more thing that's
gonna stop you from living your life.
318
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,801
You wanna know why I can't watch this?
319
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,390
Because if I do,
I'll never fucking stop, okay?
320
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,782
Do you wanna hear about my childhood?
321
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,786
I don't remember my dad dying, at all.
322
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:46,374
But what I remember vividly is
my mom being basically in a trance.
323
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,210
And the hours
that Caroline and the nanny and I spent
324
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,548
while my mom was locked away
in a dark room, crying alone.
325
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:04,143
And why… Couldn't she just play with me?
326
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:14,028
It was my mother I watched die,
not my dad.
327
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,739
I watched her die twice.
328
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,374
And now it feels
like I'm watching you slip away.
329
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,585
You're choosing the darkness.
330
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:35,007
I'm watching it happen.
I feel like I'm being abandoned again.
331
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,219
I can't lose you.
You're the one person I can't lose.
332
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,303
Do you understand that?
333
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:44,140
I've lost so many people in my life,
and I can't lose you.
334
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,643
I can't. I can't lose you.
335
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:51,690
- John.
- I can't, I can't. I can't.
336
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,280
I can't lose you, Carolyn.
337
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,992
Breathe.
338
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,162
I'm not going anywhere.
339
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,210
Just breathe.
340
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:39,280
♪ Now you should smile ♪
341
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:45,536
♪ Though your heart is aching ♪
342
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:52,793
♪ Smile even though it's breaking ♪
343
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:59,175
♪ When there are clouds ♪
344
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:03,053
♪ Way up in the sky ♪
345
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,224
♪ You're gonna get by ♪
346
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,687
♪ That's the time ♪
347
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:17,067
♪ You must keep on trying ♪
348
00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:19,820
♪ Oh, you gotta smile ♪
349
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,993
♪ What's the use of crying ♪
350
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,624
♪ You'll find that life is still ♪
351
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:38,964
♪ Worthwhile ♪
352
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,092
♪ If you'd just ♪
353
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:47,473
♪ Smile ♪
354
00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,350
♪ Come on ♪
355
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:56,357
♪ Now show me a little smile ♪
356
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,821
You're gonna hurt yourself.
357
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,992
- You sure you don't want a hand?
- No, I'm good.
358
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,164
God, we went through so much wine.
359
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,166
Uh-huh.
360
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,769
Hey, Jason. It's John.
361
00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:37,273
My dinner is done. I'm just at home.
362
00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:39,233
Give me a call whenever.
363
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,903
Why are you calling
your flight instructor?
364
00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:46,031
What are you talking about?
I talk to him all the time.
365
00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,119
I have to log 40 more hours
before I'm instrument-rated.
366
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,497
You just crashed flying
that ridiculous lawn mower contraption.
367
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,583
I think it's obvious
you need a bit more time than that.
368
00:22:56,584 --> 00:23:00,086
It's called a Buckeye,
and it's an entirely different machine.
369
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,381
Buckeyes have nothing to do
with airplanes.
370
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:06,843
Didn't you promise Caroline
you were done with flying?
371
00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:09,555
Since when are you so concerned
with what Caroline wants?
372
00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:15,811
What are you doing?
373
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,522
- I want my cigarettes.
- No, just sit. Sit. I'll get them for you.
374
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:22,025
I don't want you hobbling up the stairs.
375
00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:24,445
They're not up the stairs.
They're in my room.
376
00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:43,087
You know, if we left now,
we could probably catch the tail end
377
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,007
of that Vanity Fair party at Pravda.
378
00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:50,053
John, you're not supposed
to be putting any pressure on that ankle.
379
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,348
No parties, no stairs, no flying lessons.
380
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,892
Well, we'll take a cab.
I can sit when I get there.
381
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,022
- Ugh. Fuck.
- I'm wiped.
382
00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:04,317
But if you wanna go, you should go.
383
00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:05,986
Wiped? It's not even 11:00.
384
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,743
Can you please stop with the candle?
385
00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:15,371
Wait, is this a fight right now?
386
00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,248
No, I'm fine.
387
00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,210
What? What now?
388
00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:28,216
Fine, if you want me to sit here
and beg you for it, I will.
389
00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:30,093
Or we can just fast-forward to the part
390
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,304
where you tell me
exactly how it is I fucked up.
391
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,851
You told me to go work for Petra.
392
00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,813
- When?
- Uh, thirty minutes ago,
393
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,440
at this dinner party
you insisted on hosting.
394
00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:47,819
Petra was complaining
about how difficult it is to find
395
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,780
anyone with work experience willing
to build something from the ground up
396
00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:52,991
and accept a pay cut,
and you started yelling at me for--
397
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,410
- I did not yell.
- Yeah, John, you were literally yelling.
398
00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:58,162
And I know that because you were seated
at the other end of the table.
399
00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,373
All I said was
that you had fashion experience
400
00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:02,251
- and you didn't need money.
- PR.
401
00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:08,631
- I have PR experience.
- At Calvin Klein.
402
00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,216
Isn't that fashion? That's fashion.
403
00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:13,469
Petra has a jewelry line, John.
I'm not a jewelry designer.
404
00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,972
Well, I'm sorry for insinuating
that you have great taste.
405
00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:18,058
Yeah, that qualifies me to buy jewelry.
406
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,352
Not make it.
407
00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:29,527
It's humiliating getting pitched
for job after job
408
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,237
regardless of my interests
or qualifications.
409
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:33,156
- When have I ever--
- You do it all the time.
410
00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:34,449
I mean, you practically shoved me
411
00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,743
into André Leon Talley's lap
at that fundraiser.
412
00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:38,745
- No, I did not.
- John, yes, you did.
413
00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:41,039
You know, it makes me feel
like I am this dead weight
414
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,042
that you are desperate to shed.
You're just… You're…
415
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,503
You're getting wax all over the table.
416
00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,506
I thought you hated this table.
417
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:01,601
What did you mean
I insisted on hosting this dinner party?
418
00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,144
It was your idea, wasn't it?
419
00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:05,938
Well, I knew better than to suggest
we go to a restaurant,
420
00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:07,857
or anywhere else
other than this apartment.
421
00:26:07,858 --> 00:26:09,233
Are you seriously that upset
422
00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,320
that I organized a dinner party
for your friends?
423
00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:14,490
It really bothers me when you do that.
424
00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:16,741
Do what?
425
00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,035
Delineate between my friends
and your friends.
426
00:26:19,036 --> 00:26:21,955
We're a unit, John. They're our friends.
427
00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:26,710
Okay, Carolyn.
428
00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,130
- Pronoun rescinded.
- What are you doing?
429
00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:33,050
Sorry if my grammar offended you.
430
00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:46,813
Y-You seemed perfectly happy
holding court with my friends.
431
00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:49,817
Yeah, well, they were bombarding me
with questions.
432
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,529
Yes.
433
00:26:56,156 --> 00:27:00,827
And to be honest, I think people are
uncomfortable asking you
434
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,286
about what's going on in your life
435
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,705
'cause they're not sure
if you want to talk about it.
436
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:07,166
What do you mean
what's going on in my life?
437
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,921
You know, that you're still trying
to figure out your thing.
438
00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:13,048
My thing.
439
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,678
You know, enough with this
relentless pressure to have a thing.
440
00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,013
Why do I have to have a thing?
441
00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:23,641
It's all I hear about
from your family and your friends
442
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,685
and-and the press, and especially you.
443
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:27,728
Because it's not enough
to just be a Kennedy, no.
444
00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,856
No, you have to work at the NRDC
or make a documentary
445
00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:31,984
or write a book about constitutional law.
446
00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:36,237
I am 33 years old.
I've been working since I'm 15.
447
00:27:36,238 --> 00:27:38,656
Can't my thing just be taking a beat
448
00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,741
to settle into my marriage
and enjoy my life?
449
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:44,162
Is that what you're doing all day alone
in the apartment, enjoying your life?
450
00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:48,584
I'm figuring it out.
451
00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,794
And in the meantime,
I don't wanna just join some board
452
00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:55,172
because it would make you feel better when
people ask me what I do at dinner parties.
453
00:27:55,173 --> 00:27:57,216
I would think you, of all people,
should be able to understand that.
454
00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,676
- Me, of all people?
- Yes, John.
455
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,138
You, of all people, should know
what this is like.
456
00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,473
Instead, you just come at me
with all this unhelpful help,
457
00:28:04,474 --> 00:28:06,517
like it's become a full-time job just…
458
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:10,521
just batting away this constant barrage
of indiscriminate suggestions
459
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,691
on how to fill my days, and-and…
460
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,861
and I… I feel guilty.
461
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,282
Because I know you think you're trying
to be helpful, but it doesn't…
462
00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:23,452
It doesn't feel helpful.
463
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,246
It feels like you're judging me.
464
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,040
So, what am I supposed to do
when you complain
465
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:31,001
about how unmoored your life feels?
466
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,836
Just sit there and say nothing?
467
00:28:33,837 --> 00:28:35,088
Yes. Yes.
468
00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,257
Just say nothing.
469
00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,218
Just… Just listen.
470
00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,220
That's what I need from you.
471
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:46,474
I just need you to sit and listen
and let me feel lost.
472
00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:50,771
Can I… Like, can I just… f-feel lost?
473
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,899
Can you please allow me the space
to do that?
474
00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:56,859
Yes.
475
00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,862
- Okay.
- Yes, I can do that.
476
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:07,161
You know, look, I get that it's daunting
to start over, but just look at my mom.
477
00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:08,705
Oh, my God.
478
00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:12,416
She was a lifelong reader
who became a book editor at the age of 46.
479
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,877
Forty-six. Yes, John, I know. I know.
480
00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:16,963
All I'm saying is that she figured it out
481
00:29:16,964 --> 00:29:20,091
despite public scrutiny
or the threat of public scrutiny.
482
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:23,803
John, it is impossible for me
to overstate just how aware I am
483
00:29:23,804 --> 00:29:26,055
that your mother was
a very impressive woman.
484
00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:27,557
Believe me, okay?
485
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,477
But do you think your mother could
have held a nine-to-five job in publishing
486
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,939
when she was married
to the most famous man on the planet?
487
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:37,692
- She did that when she was a widow.
- Enough! Enough about my mother.
488
00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:40,778
- What? John, John, you brought her up.
- And now I'm saying to drop it.
489
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,655
- You mention my mother enough.
- Your mother's still here
490
00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:43,906
- to defend herself.
- Mm-hmm.
491
00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:46,742
You don't know how lucky you are
that I never introduced you to my mother
492
00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:48,954
because she never
would have encouraged this.
493
00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,914
Us.
494
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,173
Wow.
495
00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,758
I mean, it's not
like I would have listened to her.
496
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:04,177
No, no. Yeah. Sure.
497
00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:10,558
Maybe I should have listened to mine.
498
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:11,726
What?
499
00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:13,979
My mother basically told me
I should end this.
500
00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:15,605
When?
501
00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:20,609
- At the wedding.
- All right. The speech.
502
00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,070
No, no, it was earlier.
503
00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:27,284
- That afternoon.
- What are you talking about?
504
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,745
Carolyn.
505
00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:33,915
Carolyn, what are you talking about?
506
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,877
- Carolyn.
- My mother came into my room
507
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:40,922
the day of our rehearsal dinner
and warned me not to marry you.
508
00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:45,009
She said that
you would never prioritize me,
509
00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:48,429
that you'd always choose your job
or your family or yourself,
510
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:51,141
that you would never make space for me
in your life.
511
00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:55,770
And I pushed back on her,
I told her she was wrong,
512
00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:59,565
- and now… now I-I don't know that she was.
- Carolyn, I do make space for you.
513
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:02,861
No, John, John, I know you think you do,
but you're always out.
514
00:31:04,362 --> 00:31:08,449
You come home at 11:00, at midnight.
Last night, you were home at 3:00 a.m.
515
00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:10,367
Yeah, well, we're closing
the August issue of George.
516
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:11,703
You're always… Uh…
517
00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,416
You're always closing the magazine.
518
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:20,419
Or you're out getting drinks
to celebrate closing the magazine,
519
00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,964
or you're chasing some writer or investor,
or you're tearing up the layout,
520
00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,467
and if it's not the magazine,
it's a Kennedy benefit
521
00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:29,428
or a fundraiser or a Senate run.
522
00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,139
So you don't support it.
523
00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:36,645
I support you.
524
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,899
And I'd support it if I really thought
it was something you believed in,
525
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:45,278
but everything for you comes out
of this misplaced sense of obligation.
526
00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:48,030
Like your lunch idea.
527
00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:50,032
I specifically set aside
two lunches a week,
528
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:51,826
so that I can spend time with you.
529
00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:54,286
That's not the same
as wanting to spend time with me.
530
00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:56,915
- It's literally the same thing.
- No, lunch is a checkbox.
531
00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,543
It's something you can tell yourself
to absolve yourself of guilt.
532
00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,671
- What guilt?
- You don't want to be around me.
533
00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,340
You don't want to talk to me.
534
00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:07,883
Half the time,
you're sleeping in the other room.
535
00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,218
I talk to you all the time.
536
00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:12,055
No, John, you're not interested in me.
537
00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,849
You don't solicit my advice.
538
00:32:14,850 --> 00:32:16,976
You're not fascinated
by what I want to say.
539
00:32:16,977 --> 00:32:18,185
You're not curious about me.
540
00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:20,771
You talk to me just long enough
to keep the peace,
541
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,108
just long enough
to prevent more conversation.
542
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:28,362
You used to be desperate
to spend every single second with me,
543
00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,614
and now you treat our marriage
like it's this layover
544
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:32,659
between places that you really want to be.
545
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,996
And I get it.
546
00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,585
I imagine it's tough seeing
how unhappy you make me.
547
00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:52,637
You know what?
548
00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:54,264
It is.
549
00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,940
And that's all I seem
to be capable of lately…
550
00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:06,776
is disappointing people.
551
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:11,655
I spend all day fighting with publishers,
investors, bankers,
552
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,951
all telling me to take my magazine
out back and shoot it in the head.
553
00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:19,788
And then I come home and I fight with you
about how I'm never home.
554
00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:22,166
And then I go to bed each night
dreading the moment I get up
555
00:33:22,167 --> 00:33:24,376
and having to do it all over again.
556
00:33:24,377 --> 00:33:27,296
And the worst part about it is that
I wanna talk to you about all of this,
557
00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:30,007
but you feel a million miles away.
558
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,010
You're here, but you're not here.
559
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:37,348
And I miss you, Carolyn.
I miss the person I fell in love with.
560
00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,226
John, I'm right here.
561
00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:43,647
I am the person you fell in love with.
562
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,858
But you don't want this version of me.
563
00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,736
You want… You want the cold, unattainable,
564
00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:53,865
shiny version, the-the version
of me that's like a trophy.
565
00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:56,867
I mean, the moment I started
being vulnerable with you, you--
566
00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,703
You think you're vulnerable with me?
567
00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:04,291
To be vulnerable, you'd actually have
to want something and need something.
568
00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:07,753
The only thing you seem to want to do is
tell me again and again and again
569
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,129
how much you hate our life.
570
00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,423
I knew it. I knew it.
I should never have let my guard down.
571
00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:14,052
I broke my own rule.
I'm so dumb.
572
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,180
- I've just been bracing myself.
- For what?
573
00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,723
I'm always bracing myself, John.
574
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,851
I have spent my entire life
just bracing myself
575
00:34:22,852 --> 00:34:25,896
for these terrible things to happen to me
and deal with them alone.
576
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:27,857
And this is no different from any of that.
577
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,734
You knew who I was before you married me.
578
00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:33,905
God, I wish people
would stop telling me that.
579
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,491
No one knows who they're marrying.
580
00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,035
Apparently not.
581
00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:46,626
People are supposed to change, John.
582
00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,379
I didn't.
583
00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,758
You say that like it's a virtue,
like it's… like it's somehow commendable.
584
00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:57,386
You haven't made any space
for me in your life.
585
00:34:57,387 --> 00:34:59,847
Tell me one thing
that you have changed in your life
586
00:34:59,848 --> 00:35:01,557
since we've been married.
587
00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:04,018
You live in the same loft,
you have the same job, the same friends,
588
00:35:04,019 --> 00:35:06,520
you spend the same weekends
at Red Gate or Hyannis,
589
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,231
the same schedule.
590
00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:13,485
Everything in my life has changed.
Do you understand that?
591
00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:15,280
That's your choice.
592
00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:17,990
You act like every misfortune in your life
593
00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:20,200
is the result of
some ultimatum I've given you,
594
00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:23,245
like you have zero agency
in this relationship.
595
00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:26,498
I didn't make you quit your job.
I didn't make you marry me.
596
00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:30,044
I didn't tell you to let the tabloids
ruin your life. But you know what?
597
00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:32,421
I think there's a part of you
that enjoys this shit with the press.
598
00:35:32,422 --> 00:35:35,174
- Excuse me?
- Yeah, so you can lord it over me.
599
00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:37,509
Punish me with it, fault me endlessly
600
00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:40,512
for not controlling things
outside of my control.
601
00:35:40,513 --> 00:35:41,597
You relish it.
602
00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,433
It's like you have no identity
outside of your own victimhood.
603
00:35:44,434 --> 00:35:48,437
Thank you. Thank you.
You love how hated I am.
604
00:35:48,438 --> 00:35:50,230
Of course you do,
because you're America's son,
605
00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:53,735
and I am just another tragedy
you bravely endure.
606
00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:06,665
Well.
Yeah, I think I may have hit my limit.
607
00:36:11,336 --> 00:36:13,004
What are you talking about?
608
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:21,220
John,
what are you talking about?
609
00:36:21,221 --> 00:36:25,057
Maybe I've endured enough tragedy
for one lifetime.
610
00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:26,851
Fuck.
611
00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:35,902
John, come back.
612
00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,114
John!
613
00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:43,451
John, what are you doing?
614
00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,621
What…
615
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,373
I can't keep doing this.
616
00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,211
What are you talking about?
617
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,963
Doing what?
What are you… What are you talking about?
618
00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:58,549
Everything and everyone I touch
falls apart,
619
00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:00,259
and now this is falling apart too.
620
00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:04,555
And I just think that if I stay, I'm gonna
do or say something that I'll regret.
621
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,808
L-Like what? Like what, John?
622
00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:09,518
I'll be at the Stanhope.
Just a day or two.
623
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:12,230
No, J-John, just say
what you were gonna say.
624
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,732
There is nothing you can say to me
625
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:17,444
that would hurt me more
than you walking out that door.
626
00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,654
Do you know what it's like
to see it in your eyes
627
00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,448
that I'm failing at this marriage?
628
00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:25,577
Like I failed as a lawyer
and now I'm failing as a magazine editor.
629
00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:29,747
I couldn't help my mom.
And I can't help Anthony.
630
00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:32,166
And I don't think
I can handle another failure right now.
631
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,168
No, John.
632
00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:39,382
When I told you everything ends,
you said not us.
633
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:44,052
What happened to not us, John?
634
00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:46,805
What happened to not us?
What happened to not us?
635
00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:48,850
What happened to not us?
636
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:53,062
What happened to not us?
637
00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:56,482
When I told you everything ends,
you said not us.
638
00:37:56,483 --> 00:37:58,526
What happened to not us?
639
00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:06,200
This isn't ending.
640
00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:07,577
Yes, it is.
641
00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:11,121
You're running away.
642
00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:13,123
I don't want to keep hurting you, Carolyn.
643
00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:15,000
I wanna be with you.
644
00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:16,543
Then be with me.
645
00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:18,171
I don't wanna fight.
646
00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:22,258
You have to.
647
00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:26,386
That's what people do.
They fight. They stay, they fight.
648
00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:28,889
If we keep fighting,
we're gonna lose each other.
649
00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:31,643
Please don't leave me.
650
00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:34,187
Please.
651
00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:44,948
Please don't prove my mother right.
652
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,333
I'm coming back, I promise.
653
00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,593
I love you.
53227
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