Original subtitles

Avalanche!

Cool!

Great!

Awesome!

Horrible!

Don't help them!

Stand up!

Morons! You're useless!

That's all for today.

Dismiss!

Yes!

Awesome!

That move just now...

Get away!

I told you.

No bubble gum...

You're awesome!

Really?

Yes, especially your ultimate move,

the Avalanche.

You're a real man,

and your hair swaying back and forth.

How impressive!

Are you free tonight?

Watch TV at my place.

It's big and comfy.

You're crazy!

Grizzly tried to pick you up.

Why didn't you say yes?

Grizzly, watch TV at my place.

It's big and comfy.

You look exactly like him.

That's true...

What are you looking for in a man?

Yes!

Handsome, gentle and easygoing.

A real... hero.

I don't know about heroes,

but definitely pretty.

You're gorgeous and smart.

The lonely 36, 24, 36,

let me be a part of your life,

Call 4567.

Remember!

Never call 116!

He's famous for touch-and-run.

But last time,

he left as soon as he saw me.

He didn't touch.

What's wrong with that?

At least you didn't catch anything.

Go change.

I think you're going crazy!

I'm telling you.

There are no more heroes.

Did you call the police?

Yes, officer.

You've been robbed?

Yes, cleaned me out.

What's your name?

He Jin Yin.

Show me your ID card.

Look at me, officer.

Where can I possibly hide it?

Doesn't take a genius to rob you.

What?

Do you recognize the robber?

What does he look like?

Let me try.

Do you remember...

...what the guy looked like?

So what if I do? He had my consent.

What do you mean?

This is what happened.

I was walking by.

A man in rags came towards me.

He asked me for $20 to buy food.

I felt sorry for him and gave him $20.

Then he told me,

his wife and son have not eaten,

and have no clothes.

He took off my clothes,

snatched my wallet and asked if I mind.

I told him I do mind,

but I'll let it slide.

I offered to take off my underwear...

...because I should help him all the way.

I was worried I'll get arrested...

...for indecent exposure.

So I called the police,

and put it on record.

I seel!

P.C.26324, we have a nudist on hand,

suspected of being retarded.

Please send backup...

You got this all wrong.

Let me repeat the story.

Let's go, retarded nudist.

Officer, I'm really...

I pitied him, why would I lie?

People like you...

...make the world more pitiful.

Get up and eat.

Try this on.

Can't believe there's such a kind person.

"Wing Kee Cafe" "Welcome"

I'm back!

So what?

Have some water.

Thanks!

It's spicy!

Not enough? I'll add more!

Next time you have an order for North Point,

send someone else.

I had to climb up the hill.

I almost didn't make it.

It's for your own good.

Gives you proper training.

Take this to Wan Hua.

What did you say?

I can't take this anymore, Boss.

You're the Boss' pet.

I'm so jealous.

Stop teasing me.

Can you tell?

Boss.

There's a fly in my soup.

Let me see.

Johnny...

Don't give me that!

I had some of it,

and the fly is still swimming around...

...like it was showing off,

and mocking me.

Say no more!

I'm fastidious about hygiene.

Not just you,

we hate flies too. Kill it!

Hurry!

What are you doing?

Crush it... hurry!

Hygiene is our top priority,

I'll kill it for you.

I just want another bowl of soup.

What's the fuss?

Just give me another bowl.

It's that simple.

Stop!

The fly is here...

Help!

Forget it!

It's alright...

It's over! Get back to your food.

Come here!

If we don't make a scene ...

We won't get paid.

We must do our best, right?

Right...

Good job!

Isn't it too much?

You don't have to break a bottle to kill a fly.

I'm just trying to help.

That bottle costs 50 cents, you moron!

Where's the bottle?

Behind you.

Chief, what do you think?

Excellent! You're the only woman...

...who can throw me over.

It's my birthday today.

Come join my party.

They're all staring at us.

Don't do this!

I won't let go unless you say yes.

Let go of me, you maniac!

Thanks!

Don't mention it.

Bye!

I'm busy tonight.

What about tomorrow?

I have 2 tickets for Jacky Cheung's concert.

Let's go together.

Having my period tomorrow. I can't go out.

What a coincidence!

So am |I!

Delivery!

Morning...

Give me a sandwich.

Only if you pay.

You're catching on!

You don't have a girlfriend, take her! Don't be shy!

Stop teasing me!

He's not so bad.

If you're not coming to the party,

at least give me a birthday kiss.

Li, I'm so nice to you.

You know how many girls approach me,

and I still neglect them.

Why don't you grab your chance?

I don't know either.

I'll Kiss anyone but not you.

What? Anyone?

Don't talk nonsense!

Don't lie to yourself, Li!

I know you love me.

I'm telling you, you can't kiss anyone!

Morning...

...but me.

Don't give me this bullshit!

Get over here now!

Don't be ridiculous!

What if I fall for you?

Do you want to see Jacky Cheung's concert?

Let's go together.

I'm busy.

Busy my foot! Let's go.

Stop right there! You hear me?

Let go of me! Come back!

The Manager is looking for you.

I like Jacky Cheung too.

If you really want to go,

I'll be happy to go with you.

But make it Wednesday.

That's the only day I'm off...

...in the whole month.

What's the kid doing with Li?

If you must go today,

mind if I wear a hat?

Or give me some time...

...to fix my hair?

My hairstyle...

...doesn't go with your personality. May 1?

Sorry!

I kissed you without asking.

I was only kidding.

Kidding?

Yes!

I'm so relieved!

It's alright!

It happens to me all the time.

Good!

Bye!

Run along!

I'll wait till my legs quit trembling,

and my heart slows down before I can go.

I'm sorry!

Can I help you?

No...

I'm fine.

I'll sit down for a while.

What's your name?

He Jin Yin. I'm the delivery boy.

Forgot my name card.

My name is Li.

Nice to meet you.

Bye!

I have to go! Bye.

- Li! - Yes?

About Jacky Cheung's concert,

is that a joke too?

I want to go, but the tickets are hard to get.

Not really, if you try hard enough,

you'll get what you want!

- Bye! - Bye!

"Ticket office opens at 9:00 a.m."”

Get in line...

Get in line...

Jacky Cheung... we love you...

Queue up!

Jacky Cheung... we love you...

I love Leon Lai...

Fix him...

Mister,

can I take your place for $1,0007?

Sorry, this is important to me.

I promised my girlfriend,

I'll get concert tickets.

How about $2,0007?

It's not the money,

You should do it yourself.

Like I sacrificed my only day off in a month,

and camped out here overnight.

Why are you doing this?

If your girlfriend finds out...

...your dirty tricks,

She'll never forgive you.

Hey!

I promised my boyfriend,

I'll get tickets.

Can I have your place?

Sorry! You can't.

I'll buy you dinner.

Just one dinner?

How many do you want?

At least 3 or 4.

No way!

If I were you,

even if it takes 30 dinners,

I'll do it without thinking.

How can you do that? You're crazy!

If you won't make sacrifices for love,

You'll never get the concert tickets.

My grandson...

...wants me to get the tickets,

but there's such a long queue.

Can you give me your spot?

I really love my grandson.

Even if you don't pay me...

...Or take me to dinner,

for the fact that you love your grandson,

You can take my spot.

How kind of you!

You'll be rewarded.

Get in line...

2 tickets please.

That old lady bought all the tickets.

Can't be! I only need 2 tickets.

There were only 20. We're sold out now.

Let go!

Granny!

Do me a favor?

I just want 2 tickets.

I gave them to my grandson.

Where is he?

Outside... holding all the tickets.

Tickets for Jacky Cheung concert...

...$500 each! Front stall $1,500.

Hurry...

Don't jump queue!

I want 2.

No problem.

You're arrested for scalping.

Sorry!

What are you still doing here?

I tried to get 2 tickets.

It's so unfair.

Of course you can't get them.

They're all here.

Jacky Cheung?

Here!

I love you, Jacky!

No thanks. I have a girlfriend.

Li, Jacky Cheung...

...made me believe in miracles.

Now I have the guts to ask you out.

Enclosed please find 2 tickets,

I hope we can go together.

Tomorrow at 3,

I'll wait at the bus stop outside,

Here's the delivery boy,

Li.

Mr. He.

Hello!

What a coincidence!

Yes!

I brought you an egg sandwich.

Sorry, I don't eat eggs.

Let's go! Hurry...

Bye!

Give it to your mother.

Let me eat it!

We're late, let's go.

Bye!

Help!

That bitch ate my sandwich!

- My throat... - What's wrong?

Is it serious?

I want to throw up.

I'll pat you on the back.

What is this?

What are you still doing here?

Li is waiting for you by the bus stop.

Really?

Trust me! You owe me dinner!

Anything you say!

"No one can compare to you,"

"I'll never forget your smile.”

"You're the one I love."

"You kiss me with those tender lips."

"I can't help myself."

"I'm losing control."

Are you alright?

I'm fine.

How are you, Mr. He?

Hi...

This is for you.

Thanks!

There's no need.

Let's shake hands.

Sure!

You're strange! I've never met..

...anyone like you.

Thanks...

Thanks for the tickets!

No need.

Come on, don't be shy!

No...

How's it going?

We're fine, thanks!

Why are you thanking me?

Whatever!

What are you afraid of...

You have body-odour or somethin'?

Bingo!

You kissed her yesterday.

Are you getting into the sack with her today?

Cut the crap! He's just a friend.

Mind your manners!

I'm provoking you, so?

I dare you to hit me.

Hit me... come on!

Hit me hard!

That won't be necessary.

You've been punished enough.

What's this?

I guess it's shit,

but I don't know whose it is!

How dare you!

You bastard! You had the nerve to dodge!

How can you do that?

What kind of a man are you?

Li, come watch TV.

No!

Madonna is singing.

Come quick!

I don't want to watch.

Are you alright?

I'm fine!

Here comes Madonna. Come quick!

No!

She's wearing a tuxedo!

Don't be a nag, Mother!

Li.

What is it?

What are you doing here?

I came to apologize.

Don't be silly! There's no need to apologize.

It's not your fault.

How is your nose?

Fine.

Really?

Really!

You're lying.

I hit myself on the nose casually.

It hurts so bad and I'm in tears.

Sorry, I'm really fine.

Please don't worry.

Don't lie to me.

I insist that you go to the hospital for a check up.

It can be serious.

You may have internal bleeding...

...or nasosinusitis,

or even cancer if you're out of luck.

You may be dead!

Are you finished?

It's late, I want to go to bed.

You better leave.

Here! Take this back.

Please don't do this to me, Li.

Please give me another chance.

I treasure what we have.

It's important to me.

You got it all wrong, Mr. He.

I don't like cowards.

I didn't even touch him,

he's already on his knees begging...

...like a dog.

Do you know who I hit?

Who?

Li.

She flew 9 feet high,

and spun 2 full circles.

Isn't that wonderful?

You bragged about injuring someone.

How can you do that?

What about you had shit all over your face?

Why don't you mention that?

Shit all over your face?

What did you say?

I'm saying...

...you better apologize to Li.

Are you alright, Li?

Don't move!

I tried calling you last night.

Did you know?

You didn't pick up, I was so worried.

I couldn't sleep at all.

Stop!

How can you do that to him?

I didn't do anything.

Go deliver your order.

Did you hear me?

Asshole!

Are you hurt?

I told you I don't like cowards.

How is he?

He's an idiot.

Don't mind him, let's practice!

"Coward Savior!"

We don't open until 9 o'clock.

It's 8:45, 15 more minutes to go.

What do you want?

I'm a coward.

It's obvious. You should come last night.

US$20.00

$207?

Yes.

Apply a thin layer 30 minutes beforehand.

Last time some Kkid...

...used the whole bottle and...

No, I don't need this.

I want my money back.

Your fingerprints are all over it,

you can't return it.

Then give me 2 beers.

Alright!

Give me $8 more.

I'll keep the change.

Here's a pack of peanuts.

Don't look or it'll cost you more.

Go away!

Look at you!

2 words are tattooed on your face,

Heart broken.

You really are?

So what? People do that all the time.

The first time?

So it should be the hardest.

You don't need a beer...

...right now.

You should change into something more cheerful.

Listen to a good song,

and eat a big breakfast.

You'll feel much better.

Let me help you.

Trust me!

Come on!

This is the best deal for you.

Nice clothes, a song and a big breakfast.

I'm charging you 60 cents per second.

What do you think?

I think I've been duped.

Really?

Does that take your mind off...

...the fact that you've been duped?

Maybe.

Get more involved!

Brace yourself and sing along,

I guarantee you'll feel better.

Sing!

Leave her...

Yeah... baby!

Leave her...

Yeah... baby!

Don't look at me, look over there.

Please pass the ball back.

It's raining...

Hurry...

Are you alright?

Don't be silly! I know kung fu.

Kung fu?

Yes.

I can teach you. 20% off.

"Coward Savior!"

"Chinese Ancient Boxing"

In this sports center,

the Chinese Ancient Boxing School has a long history,

I'm the current Chief.

What should I call you, old man?

Call me the Devilish Muscle Man,

Anything but old man.

Sure!

Why is the gym...

...behind your grocery store?

The grocery store is a side business.

I'm a boxing coach by profession.

Fame is not my game,

I hate people who court publicity.

Bruce Lee was my classmate,

do I brag about that?

Jackie Chan likes to have tea with me,

I'd like to humor him too.

That's him, see that?

Do I tell you about him?

What's the big deal?

What do you want to learn?

What can you teach me?

Iron Sand Palm,

originated from Si Shui,is powerful...

...capable of shattering anyone's internal organs.

They'll be dead on arrival at the hospital.

Takes 3 days to learn and cost $600.

Armor SKkill,

came from Southern Shaolin, 70 km north of Fujian,

and 30 knots south of Shan Mei.

It'll render you impenetrable to all weapons...

...including fire and water.

Takes 5 days and cost $800.

Flying guillotine,

from the late Ming and early Qing dynasty,

the official weapon for imperial assassins,

capable of decapitating anyone from miles away.

Because it is lethal,

I'm using this yo-yo instead.

Takes 7 days and cost $1,000.

Poison Dragon Drill,

came from a comic...

...and started out as a fantasy.

But I have modified it...

...and turned it into powerful footwork.

It'll cost $1,500.

Lightning Death Ray!

It has killed numerous monsters...

...and all those dinosaurs,

took young people by storm in the 70s.

I can tell you it's fake.

There is no such thing.

It only exists in the movies.

I must tell you.

You don't have to worry.

Honesty and practicality are my motto.

I'm the Devilish Muscle Man.

I choose my students...

...based on potential

I don't teach just anyone who wants to learn.

I better go.

Don't!

We're getting along just fine.

You don't have to worry.

I think it's too expensive.

Anything is negotiable.

I'm not making much as it is.

I'll teach you for free if you have potential.

- Really? - Really!

That's not a good idea.

Your leg...

I don't want you to overexert yourself.

Sorry for the intrusion.

Iron Sand Palm emphasizes inner strength.

It can kill without being noticed.

It's amazing!

Fame is not my game.

Please don't tell anyone...

...I'm a kung fu expert.

I'm just a cripple.

Yes!

Can you beat judo?

Judo?

You're kidding!

Of course I can beat judo.

Chinese kung fu has a long history.

As they say, there are no cowards with kung fu.

Can you teach me?

I make no promises.

Tell me what do you want to learn.

Everything.

That's expensive...

...and exhausting.

I don't mind.

I want to be strong.

Very good!

From the fire in your eyes,

I know you have great potential.

Cut the bullshit and pay up.

Fine.

Your fees, Master.

- Wait! - What?

This is my hard earned money.

Don't worry. I understand.

I can speed up your training.

- Wait! - What now?

You said you'll teach me for free if I have potential.

Good question! Hang on!

The money is not for me. "Everyone Can Practice Kung Fu"

[t'll be donated to fellow Chinese in the Mainland...

...30 that they can all go to school...

...as well as learn kung fu.

How meaningful!

Yes! Put it in!

Everything.

You're now a student of Ancient Chinese Boxing.

Congratulations!

Li.

Going to class?

Yes.

I'm secretly practicing kung fu.

Really?

I can also tell you,

I'm getting good.

Oh!

If you run into any trouble,

Just let me know.

It doesn't matter what time. I stay up late.

Really? Try it!

Thanks!

Here comes Yin.

Bastard!

What are you doing?

You're supposed to wash the rice, not jab it.

You've been at it for half an hour!

What has the rice done to you?

Did it kill your father?

You can kill it with a knife.

But stop jabbing!

I'm practicing.

- Practicing? - Yes.

Practice on me!

Are you alright, Boss?

I want you dead!

Noodles!

What's this?

Curry beef with braised noodles.

I wanted fried noodles.

I'll get you another one.

Let me handle this.

What's the meaning of this?

Sorry! I'll do it.

Sorry... The kitchen is swamped.

- Sorry! - Here it is, sir!

I've lost my appetite.

Help yourself!

You're making a mess!

Doing that in front of the customer,

you want me to close down?

Next time,

do it in the back,

not in front of the customer.

I'm so busy practicing,

I did that subconsciously.

What's wrong with you?

You're dreaming!

You're an idiot, who would teach you?

He's taking advantage of you.

If you don't do it,

I'm already eternally grateful

What? I took advantage of you?

You were an orphan...

Alright, Boss...

I took you in...

I fed you and put a roof over your head...

How can you say that?

Stop it!

If you want to quit,

you're welcome to leave... go!

No one is asking you to stay!

Shut up!

What are you doing?

Where are you going?

Don't mind him! Get back to work!

Alright... it's over.

Let's eat.

Yin.

Everyone needs an identity and self respect.

As a student of Ancient Chinese Boxing,

you should have a uniform.

Here!

You're my life saver, Master!

You deserve it!

Wearing it.

People will show you due respect.

Moreover,

this is our Jiu Yin manual,

keep it!

Jiu Yin manual?

Why must I wear a mask?

That's proof of your skill.

Sit down!

You're too nice to me!

Don't say that!

I've given you 2 treasures,

you should help our suffering countrymen.

After all, blood is thicker than water.

Just $207?

You donated $500 for the last stance!

This is all I have!

Get this straight! It's not for me!

It's up to you how much you're giving.

I'm just as happy if you donate nothing.

If you have any jewelry at home...

---0Or...

Master, for my fellow countrymen,

I've done all I could.

I'm broke now.

What about your salary?

I hated that job.

I quit already.

I have nothing.

But since you're so nice to me,

I'll stay with you from now on,

practicing and looking after you.

What's wrong?

You're shuddering!

Nothing.

In that case,

come with me.

Now I'll teach you...

...the most formidable movement.

But Master...

This manual is useless now.

It'll depend on you.

Trust me, I can do it.

Roll down from here.

All those steps?

What kind of movement is that?

Are you serious?

This is called the Invincible Fireball.

You kill your enemy by rolling down with him.

I'll be dead too.

No! How can you be so stupid?

Hold him tight,

protect yourself with his body.

Make use of gravity...

...and universal gravitation.

Apply turbo speed...

...using your body weights.

If even so you can't get rid of your opponent,

come see me.

I still don't understand.

This is a difficult movement...

...and highly dangerous.

I understand if you don't want to learn,

that'll prove you don't have what it takes,

so don't come to me again.

Please don't say that!

I'll do my best.

If you succeed,

You'll be invincible...

...and you don't need me anymore.

That's all.

Go...

Master!

What is it now?

You're dumping me?

Say anything you want.

Master!

What do you want?

I want to give you this Swatch.

I always carry it with me.

How much is it worth?

It's not worth much. ..

...but it was my birthday present...

...from some relatives.

Thanks...

Don't mention it! It has sentimental value.

I won't let you down.

Don't be such a nag!

He couldn't have!

How stupid!

It hurts!

I saw everything, Master.

What?

How to practice the Invincible Fireball.

You showed me, right?

Without a second thought,

you tumbled down! That's cool!

I stood up there for the longest time...

...and didn't dare.

You saw everything?

Yes! It was awesome!

This is tough.

I better learn something else.

Something less demanding.

Whatever! I've done a demonstration.

I should get paid.

No problem!

Then hurry up!

I'm bleeding already.

Come with me!

No! Just give it to me!

Asshole!

- Morning! - Morning!

This is for you.

I was rude, I'm sorry.

Forget it!

Why don't you come to my place,

I want to talk to you.

It's big and comfy.

Don't do this!

- Please give me a chance! - Come back!

Chief, your glasses are broken!

What? You broke my Armani!

My Armani...

Don't yell!

She's gone.

- Grab her! - Yes!

Come back!

What do you want?

Let go of me!

Do you know how long it took me...

...to save enough for this?

I need this to woo girls. You must pay for it.

On my count to 3, let go!

I've been after you for so long,

and you played hard-to-get.

Now you leave me no choice.

Stop!

Let her go!

Who is he?

Garfield. He's my favorite!

Grab her!

Who are you?

Let her go!

Quit the act, asshole!

Take off the mask!

I said let her go!

You're dead meat, talking to me like that!

She's mine.

He's ready to strike.

Must be a good show.

Come on!

I can nail you.

Hit him...

Yes!

Pathetic! Cut open his mask!

Yeah...

See?

Death to those who challenge me.

Who's Grizzly fighting?

A masked man challenged Grizzly.

Awesome!

I'm invincible!

I told you...

...no one beats me...

Come on!

Avalanche!

Invincible Fireball!

Incredible!

Hurry...

Beat him!

Master!

Are you alright, master?

Master is right.

I'm better under the mask.

I won!

I won!

Come down to the Police station.

You're charged with disorderly conduct.

You're suspected of being a triad member.

We need that mask for evidence.

Big news! A masked Garfield...

...rescued Li

Big news! A masked Garfield...

...rescued Li

Big news! The best combat fighter Grizzly...

...was beaten first time in 3 years.

Masked Garfield defeated...

...Grizzly with Invincible Fireball!

No more bets!

Guess who is the Masked Garfield?

I told you I don't know.

- That's not possible? - Can it be?

If you don't know him,

why would he come to your rescue?

That's right...

Don't lie to us!

Tell us!

I don't know what to say.

My whole life,

no one has ever...

...stood up for me like that.

I wonder who he is.

I know he saved me...

...without asking for anything in return.

He gets up every time he's down.

He's truly courageous.

All I want is to meet him,

and personally thank him,

You don't know him?

Then we can't place our bets.

Seeing you is like seeing him.

I've been waiting for you.

Wait! Let me guess.

You have thick brows,

penetrating eyes,

a real hero.

I'm so nervous!

You're absolutely right! Kiss me!

Stop!

Actually I saved you,

how will you repay me?

It was me!

Here's my house key. Take it!

I'll be waiting...

I don't take advantage of women,

Let me hug you!

Li!

No!

Damn!

Li... I'll save you!

You're despicable!

What are you doing here?

Don't jump queue!

Do you know the rules?

Get in line!

Go...

I'm the real guy.

Get in line!

Taxi!

You're here, Master?

I'm here for the fun.

How could you?

They're all the same!

But I really saved the girl!

So what?

You couldn't have done it without me.

Without you?

I used the Invincible Fireball.

Cut the bullshit!

You were lucky,

but you won't be so lucky next time.

You'll kill yourself!

- What? - I lied.

Do you want to know...

...tomorrow's headline?

What?

Car crash!

Why did you lie to me?

Everyone can practice kung fu!

And you'd believe that!

Who else would fall for it?

Tell me!

Why are you telling me now?

Because you're asking me now,

so I'm telling you now.

You didn't ask me before,

I can't possibly volunteer.

You lied to me!

Don't believe me!

This may not be something to brag about,

but it wasn't my fault!

You were stupid!

I want my money back!

Forget it!

You'll have no son!

Don't get personal!

Why not?

Cripple! Swindler! Sex maniac!

Wimp! Sissy! Coward!

I beat Grizzly, I'm not a coward!

You won't beat him without me!

You lied to me. I did it myself.

I gave you confidence,

or else you wouldn't dare to challenge him...

...or go after Li.

Leave her out of this.

Why? What's the big deal?

I dare you to take off...

...that stupid mask in front of her.

When she sees you,

I'll kill myself if she doesn"t scream!

Go to hell!

You'll be a cripple in your next life!

Moron!

Cripple!

Idiot!

Cripple!

Look at this cripple...

How pathetic...

Look at this idiot...

I dare you to say that again!

Wimp!

Sissy!

Coward!

Damn!

Damn!

Get lost, asshole!

I dare you to fight me!

Go to hell!

Li,

I must tell you,

I'm the Masked Garfield.

You?

You have proof?

Even you want a piece of me!

It's true.

I hate scum like you.

I'm not who you think I am.

Listen...

Stop!

Please don't...

Yin...

What's wrong with you?

I want to ask you.

It has nothing to do with me.

Why did you run from me?

I'm busy.

Do you know who is the Masked Garfield?

No.

Really?

Really!

I should have guessed,

he must be someone I know.

Good guess.

Do you know why he wears the mask?

Why?

Because he wants to remain anonymous.

He doesn't want people to repay him.

Right!

He is generous and giving.

His greatness...

...is comparable to that of Jesus Christ.

Tell me, how can I repay him?

Simple! Kiss him!

Kiss him?

Don't be shy!

We're in the 20th century,

put aside the moral issues.

Trust me, you have no choice.

Kissing him is the only way.

Remember!

You must pay him back for saving your life.

Come on, baby!

Yin, let me introduce you to...

...the Chief of the Karate Club.

He came all the way from Japan.

He's an old schoolmate. I'm so happy to see him.

It was him!

Don't bring that up! Your friend is waiting.

Really?

I'll take a look.

Are you from Elite center?

No.

I don't want Li to hang around garbage.

Stay away from her!

You're saying I'm garbage?

Yes!

Are you done?

Vivian is waiting for us.

See you later!

Li, you're wrong about...

Thanks for your advice.

"Garbage Collecting Center”

This can't be happening,

I told her to kiss me,

but she kissed him instead.

I sent her straight to the arms...

...of that bespectacled asshole.

This is too much...

...With my willpower.

I can take this.

Am I in your way, buddy?

No, it's a place for garbage.

Sit here as long as you want.

Nothing you say can harm me...

...because I have gone mad already.

One, two, buckle my shoe...

Again...

Buckle my shoe...

Stop!

Come back!

What do you want?

Forget the money, I don't even have a job,

take my life if you want.

Shut up! I need to talk to you.

You know I'm the Masked Garfield?

Yes!

- I saved Li. - Yes.

But she got it wrong.

She thought it was...

...some Karate asshole.

Can you please...

...explain it to her?

Sure, I'll tell her next time I see her.

Thanks, but no!

Not when you see her.

Go tell her now!

I'll go tell her later.

Wait!

I'll go with you now.

Given your status,

if you tell her you're Masked Garfield,

that'll be such a waste!

Why don't you tell her...

...you're the U.S. President?

President? Maybe later.

But now, I want to clarify this. Let's go...

Get a grip!

Look at you!

Who would believe you! Go away!

I have nothing to live for!

Then you should be dead!

Yes! But before that,

I need to teach that asshole a lesson...

...because he called me garbage.

But you are garbage. Look...

Come... look at you!

You blend in so well with garbage!

Don't deny it!

To prove I'm not, I'll beat him up.

Sure, go ahead!

Do that for me too...

...and then teach me something else.

I told you I lied to you.

Why are you still coming?

I won because you lied to me,

might as well lie to me again.

I told you it was pure luck.

Believe it or not,

don't come to me again! Now get lost!

Will you lie to me?

No!

I'll slash your face!

I dare you!

I'm a cultured person,

I won't swindle anyone again.

Now get lost...

"Letter of Challenge”

Is the Karate chief in?

Fetch him for me.

You haven't made a delivery for a long time.

I have a cold.

I need to rest.

Hi Devil, I thought you quit already.

Why are you here?

I miss you, Mary.

Really?

Would you like to go out?

Take me to a movie.

How about "The Terminator"?

You can take my mother.

Sure! Does your father mind?

You're obscene!

No, I'm romantic.

We're not here to get a date.

I came here looking murderous.

You're embarrassing me!

Where is the Karate chief?

In a meeting with Mr. Chen.

Pass this to him. Let's go!

Come here.

In terms of personal combat,

Elite Center is second to none in southeast Asia.

Our impeccable reputation...

...is attributed to our department chiefs.

Chief of Tae Kwon Do,

his feet are as agile as his hands,

attacking the opponent from unthinkable angles.

Our Chief of Kendo,

He's fast as lightning,

powerful enough to split a rock.

Our Boxing chief,

the impact of his right hook is 878 lbs.

Our Judo chief,

best fighter for 3 years in a roll.

You're the one beaten by the masked man!

Nice to meet you.

The purpose of my trip...

...is to restructure Elite Center.

Karate is the top martial art in the world.

That's why I think only Karate...

...should remain at Elite Center.

The others should be abolished.

What do you mean by that?

What about us?

Good question! If you're interested,

you're welcome to join the Karate division.

I'll do the screening,

I only train the best,

not garbage.

Why are you looking at me? You think I'm garbage?

Don't get me wrong!

I'm saying you're all garbage.

You are really...

What a mess!

What are you thinking?

Let's burn the letter.

I told you.

They're all garbage.

They should have been driven out!

Good! It's still here, burn it!

You cripple!

I have driven you out,

how dare you show your face?

I seel!

You want money?

I'll give you money and get lost.

I'm telling you!

Don't treat me like a beggar!

I'm no longer with the Center.

I don't have to put up with you.

I'm here today...

...as chief of the Ancient Chinese Boxing School,

to challenge this Karate lunatic to a duel.

Are you out of your mind?

1974, first time Kickboxing Champion...

...in southeast Asia.

1980, defeated heavy champ Lei Long.

For the next 3 years in a roll,

defeated all Japanese Karate masters,

became Kickboxing Champion in Japan.

Ancient Chinese Boxing, hailed as the jinx of Karate,

nicknamed Devilish Muscle Man.

You're really...

I told you.

That's me!

But too bad,

in the Sino-Japanese Championship in 1988,

you disappeared after my Master broke your leg.

You abandoned all hopes & resorted to swindling.

You're an aging cripple.

How can you challenge anyone?

Challenge?

Not me, him!

The second generation... get up!

He's my student He Jin Yin.

This piece of shit?

Yes! Give me a month!

He'll be invincible!

Only Karate is invincible.

As long as I'm alive,

Karate is always second to me.

How about it?

What?

I accept on one condition.

If 1 win,

Ancient Chinese Boxing will totally vanish from earth.

Alright! If you lose,

I want Ancient Chinese Boxing...

...to take over Elite Center.

You have a deal.

One more thing,

you took my salad dressing.

Pay me back!

I didn't know you were for real.

I told you fame is not my game.

You shouldn't make challenges on my behalf.

You're killing me!

I should thank you.

If you didn't put a knife to my neck,

I would never have realized...

...this is the best thing I've done.

If we win,

I can re-establish the school,

Even if you get killed,

I'll take out an insurance policy...

...and be the beneficiary.

Good for you, but what about me?

You can prove you're not garbage.

That's what I am, I won't deny it.

I have a plan.

What plan?

So soon?

I better go.

We'll do this some other time.

Very well!

What about the girl?

Fine! I'll do it!

That's the spirit!

Look!

The ratings for "Happy Tonight" have reached record low.

Do something!

How about this?

I read a story...

...from the Elite Center magazine.

A delivery boy has challenged a karate chief.

"Happy Tonight" is proud to present...

..."Happy Boxing Championship".

The contestants include, on my right, the Delivery Boy,

student of the Ancient Chinese Boxing School.

My name is He Jin Yin.

Delivery Boy is his nickname.

On my left,

is Karate champ for 3 years in a roll,

Duan Shui Liu.

They have signed a no-fault agreement.

What brought about this duel?

I don't know.

Let's ask them.

Mr. He.

Everyone says...

...it's suicidal for you,

Can you tell us..

...the reason...

...behind this tragic decision?

It is...

Actually...

It's unplugged.

Chief.

Is this your first TV appearance?

Yes!

I'm allowing the live broadcast...

...because I want to promote Karate.

Any event that promotes martial arts,

I will give my full support.

Rumor has it,

you were the Masked Garfield...

...and saved a girl.

Is that true?

I showed up in disguise...

...because I don't want people to know.

If you're interested,

I can tell you.

I grew up in Japan,

Kamen Rider was my idol,

From then onwards,

I have used different masks...

...to help the underdogs...

...and punish the evil doers.

It never dawned on me...

...The person I saved that day...

was the love of my life.

He's talking about you.

Li, I'm glad to see you again.

I didn't expect my hero...

...to show up at the right time and save me.

It was so dangerous.

If you didn't show up,

I don't know what would happen,

I know it's been a while,

but I still remember red is your favorite color.

You like black.

You like red bean pudding.

You like wasabi.

How romantic!

"Flowers in bloom, we pledge our love."

"Nightingales sing, singing about our love."

"Love is in the air."

"We'll be together, our love will not die."

I'd like to propose.

Please say yes.

You're crying.

There goes your girl!

Let her go!

What's wrong with you? Epilepsy?

You're lying! You're a liar!

You're a hypocrite!

Don't believe him, Li!

I saved you the other day.

Step aside, Li.

What?

You garbage!

I'm giving you a chance to fight me,

yet you repay me with slander.

I'll show you no mercy in the ring.

Me neither.

I'll break your nose!

I'll kill you!

Excellent! Well said!

This will be our headline tomorrow.

Say that again.

I'll kill you!

Excellent!

What?

Cut the bullshit! He Jin Yin is not suicidal.

I measure up to my reputation,

I'll show you in a month...

...what Ancient Chinese Boxing can do.

The drill will start tomorrow.

Let's go!

Don't stand behind me. Are you gay?

I thought you were leaving.

This way, asshole!

Sorry! Step aside.

You really think you can beat me?

I can give up my life for a girl,

can you?

Wait! Let's take a few more.

Li, don't mind that lunatic!

He's full of shit! Put on the ring!

I can't...

Why? You don't trust me?

I do, but...

Whatever happens,

let's go to my place tonight.

We need to talk, alright?

Give me some time.

Vivian, let's go!

Sure!

What do you think...

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tip.

The Devilish Muscle Man...

...has begun the grueling drill as we speak.

We waste no time...

...in bringing you a live update.

It's spooky and ghastly.

Let's have a look around.

The fish balls are great!

Really?

Try it!

- Well? - Very chewy!

What about your training?

This is it!

Have you eaten?

- No! - Sit down!

Come on, sit down!

One more order of goose intestines.

Do you like it?

Yes!

One more order!

Are you filming us? We should get paid!

Where's my pork liver?

In the bottom.

No! I just put it in.

Did you eat it?

No!

Don't give me that!

What's this?

Why is it in my pocket?

There's a limit to my patience.

I see it...

How's the drill?

They're having hotpot.

Hotpot?

Yes, they ordered goose intestines,

fish balls,

and hard boiled eggs.

Allegedly it can reduce loss of fluid,

let's have hotpot tonight...

and try the eggs...

Shut up!

What are they up to?

We have 2 more weeks to go.

How is He Jin Yin...

...getting on with his drill?

Let's take a look!

Come on baby, let's go for fun... Yeah!

Don't run...

What's this? Stop fooling around!

Either they have gone mad...

or this is a conspiracy.

I don't care what they're doing,

I'll beat him.

"True love is hard to find,"

"I'm easily hurt."

"Looking for love..."

We're here to observe,

It should be alright.

Says who? I heard someone will be killed tonight.

You better be prepared.

No!

Why not?

When He Jin Yin goes down...

...and we rush him to the hospital,

make sure you get close ups of his blood.

I want blood gushing out.

What if he's dead?

You'll get a raise, I'll get a promotion...

...and we'll celebrate with champagne.

In this match between David and Goliath,

will there by mercy?

We'll do our best in the ring.

What about your opponent?

Will you Kill him by accident?

No comment!

Rumor has it you're pushing for death...

...to boost the TV ratings, is that true?

That's a lie, it's impossible.

You opponent seems ill prepared, is this a ploy?

Has he completed his training?

What happens if you lose?

With a body like yours,

will you consider making a porno film?

Never!

I'll only make martial arts films.

Sorry...

Wait!

Sorry...

The world is full of morons,

asking all these dumb questions.

How can I lose?

Appearance is deceiving...

What is He Jin Yin up to?

Are you alright?

Where's Li? Is she here?

Don't be afraid...

...| put my money on you.

No, I better bet...

Who's afraid?

Get ready, you're on in 10 minutes.

Even though all of us...

...bet on Duan Shui Liu to win,

We're actually rooting for you.

We made you a robe,

Took us all night.

Thanks! Before I get in the ring,

I'd like to see Li.

I've already checked, she isn't here yet.

Are you ready?

Round 1!

I'm scared, Vivian.

Don't be, there's still 1 more minute.

Perfect timing.

I don't want them to fight.

Aren't you rooting for Duan Shui Liu?

No, I must tell Yin to forfeit.

What?

What's going on?

This can't be happening!

Anyone out there! Help!

Don't do this!

"Happy Boxing Championship”

All cameras stand by.

"Happy Boxing Championship”...

...will begin, yeah...

First one out...

...is Karate expert Duan Shui Liu,

nicknamed The Killing Machine.

Karate is about causing damage.

All Karate experts have trained...

...every part of their bodies...

...to be destructive.

Breaking ice,

chopping wood,

splitting stones,

breaking bottles.

Duan Shui Liu is particularly outstanding.

His punch has enough power...

...to smash a water melon.

Talk is cheap.

Bring out your cameras and see for yourself.

Next up from the Ancient Chinese Boxing School,

the master Devilish Muscle Man...

...is the arch enemy of Karate.

According to our sources,

other than making a mean cup of tea,

he hasn't learnt much.

That's why this duel...

...is considered a suicidal attempt.

What prompted him to do this...

...is still a mystery.

From the murderous look on his face,

he seems to have something up his sleeve,

making this into a greater mystery.

I'm backing you!

Thank you, Auntie!

Watch it! I banked all my money on you...

...that you'll go down in Round 1.

Please step down...

Remember to go down in Round 1.

I'll do my best.

Let's welcome our 2 contestants!

They will carry on for 3 rounds.

In case we can't take any pictures later,

while they're still alive,

take a good one.

Say cheese!

Good...

This way...

The vote from the press...

is here in my hand.

He Jin Yin wins the best costume award.

Now...

Duan Shui Liu will...

...give out the award.

Smile!

We want your picture.

Smile!

Thanks!

Mr. He did well with the costume.

Looks like they are ready to go.

Slaughter seems inevitable.

The match has begun.

Duan Shui Liu is like a tiger out of a cage.

They're fighting ferociously.

Hey...

Why did he turn his back?

Must be some trick.

In terms of skill,

you're no match for him.

What I'm teaching you...

...is the highest realm of Ancient Chinese Boxing,

Psychological warfare.

We wined and dined ourselves for a month,

he became increasingly suspicious.

After a month of this,

if you turn your back on him,

I guarantee that for Round 1,

He won't come near you.

He's luring me over.

I shouldn't be afraid of him.

I'll tough it out.

Damn! Did he see through the trick?

What are they doing?

Tell them to fight!

I can't comment if they don't move!

Focus on the commentator.

Make up something.

If you get me fired, I'll kill you!

What can I say?

Use this!

"The Dragon Saber"?

What's wrong with you? Keep talking!

Come on! Hurry!

I can't believe this!

Come on!

The Lion King, no...

Duan Shui Liu strikes...

...with Qi Shang Fist

which is deadly!

This is outrageous!

I don't know what I'm saying!

Just keep up the bullshit!

Zhang Wu Ji... no... He Jin Yin...

...fought back with the Magic Move...

and dissipated Qi Shang Fist.

What? Magic Move?

He Jin Yin bellowed...

...and dissipated Qi Shang Fist.

He Jin Yin bolted from here to there,

Duan Shui Liu can't even tell...

...which one is the real He Jin Yin.

He frowned...

...and made up his mind.

He yelled out to his Master,

summoning the dead to his assistance.

Don't worry! I have another one.

Duan Shui Liu fell into He Jin Yin's arms.

He closed his eyes,

his tender lips slightly open...

...breathing out... "Jin Ping Mei"?

Don't worry... keep reading.

What is he talking about?

He Jin Yin is enjoying himself,

thinking the girl has fallen for him.

He feels her supple skin...

...and her tender hands...

...like cotton candy.

He feels that...

Shut up!

What the hell are you saying?

I'm talking to you!

You gave me no choice.

You weren't fighting.

How can we carry on the broadcast?

Some reporter you are! You know how to run a show?

How we run a show is none of your business!

Quiet!

Do me a favor!

Did you hear him?

What's wrong with you?

Fight your match and stay out of my business.

You won't move, I had to make something up!

How can you blame me?

Quiet!

End of Round 1.

Yeah...

Are you alright?

I'm scared!

Don't worry!

- Chief. - I know.

He's bluffing by turning his back.

I'll hit him from behind.

We'll see if he's courageous.

What are you up to now?

Is it a foul?

He's tossing a hammer,

and a knife.

So what?

He might stab me.

We'll deal with it when he does.

The law will punish him.

Just get on with the fight.

It's so boring.

If you get through Round 1,

He'll get restless.

In Round 2, we'll go one step further,

Scare him,

What's this? I'll kill you.

See that! He's hit!

Did you see that?

Stay out of trouble, cripple!

Or I'll come down and get you.

Don't blame me!

Duan Shui Liu is hit again!

Why doesn't he fight back?

He's been kicked.

Anything else? Give it here!

Nothing.

It seems I'm wounded.

Don't worry, the durian is not poisonous.

Oh!

Damn!

Commercial break!

Oh!

Yang Yin Pill, warm like the sun.

Why is there no sound?

Perhaps no battery.

Can't be!

Are you trapped inside?

Yes! What's wrong with you?

We've been in here for half an hour!

Fine! We'll let you wait...

...another half an hour.

No! Please let us out!

The sun is out...

Round 3!

Kill him.

That'll only take a second.

Look at that garbage!

He's nothing! Everything is just an act!

Don't say that!

Every morning,

he gets on a high speed truck...

...swinging around like a lunatic.

Can that be some special skill?

Skill my ass! Get lost!

He doesn't scare me!

Is this a foul?

Of course!

The pose is obscene.

He Jin Yin is clamped down.

You're mistaken.

He Jin Yin is in control.

Right!

The perfect defense...

...is called The Clamp.

We must practice with a truck.

[t is most destructive.

The key is to clamp down your opponent.

Lock him in position...

Let go of me, garbage!

I'm not garbage!

Let go!

-I can't stand it! -I can't stand it!

Stop this!

You're the garbage!

Good work!

Yeah...

Be careful!

Asshole!

I'll be rid of you!

Let go!

Hold on!

Don't let go!

Don't let go!

Please let me go!

Stop it!

I know how you feel...

...but I can't!

Help!

I can't stand it!

Full power lethal kick!

Round 3 is up!

I'm alive!

It's a miracle! He can stand up!

He's like Rocky!

You're great!

I'm so happy!

What are you?

After 3 rounds,

we have our consensus,

Duan Shui Liu is the winner!

I bet with all my money...

...but you didn't kill him.

I thought you'll kill him!

You're a coward too!

I must sing a song...

...to thank everyone for their support.

Hero...

Hurry! It's him over there!

Yin!

Please join me!

Li!

Yin!

This time I must kiss you.

I'm wounded.

My teeth have been knocked out.

I'm alive!

I'm so relieved!

Actually...

You garbage!

Bluffing me with tricks.

Of all the fights,

none of my opponents can stand up.

You're no exception.

I'll kill you!

Where are you going?

Why don't you congratulate me?

I told you to stay away from garbage.

What?

Stop!

You already won, leave him alone!

How dare you...

...have no respect for me?

Come back, He Jin Yin!

Don't get carried away!

There's always someone stronger.

He Jin Yin has a good strategy.

You should admit defeat.

Going after him after you have won,

that's too much!

I dare you to fight me.

Members of Eagle Claw, get up!

Fine! I'll take you on!

I'll show you!

Charge...

This is ridiculous!

Why?

Let's get a taxi.

We won't fit,

5 of us is just right.

Yes...

Are you alright, Yin?

I'm fine.

Now there are 6. Boss, go by yourself!

Hey...

Kid!

Be forgiving...

Shut up!

Do we stop filming?

Are you crazy? I've been waiting all night...

...for action like this.

Go according to plan,

get ready for lucky draw.

Don't be silly!

You're no match for him.

There's one last thing...

Get me a ladder.

I told you.

There's no such thing as Invincible Fireball.

I know I'm right.

Even if you are,

where can you find the ladder?

I found it.

Where?

Here.

Is it too long?

Ladies and gentlemen...

Last but not least... our lucky draw...

Lucky Wheel lucky draw.

Lucky draw?

I wish I'll win.

Yes...

Lucky draw? Let's play with the Lucky Wheel.

Yin!

Let go!

Come out, He Jin Yin!

Here I am! Come here.

Let's see who's garbage now!

Come on, garbage!

I dare you to fight me.

Invincible Fireball!

- Yin.. - Dont

Yin...

Yin...

Well?

You can't beat me so easily.

Karate is invincible!

You'll always be garbage!

You're garbage!

Save your breath! Quit the act!

You saw through me! I admit it...

I won!

Incredible!

You broke the Lucky Wheel. You must pay for it!

Incredible!

Where did you learn that?

From my Master.

No! He invented it!

You're a true warrior.

I was right about you. I'm so proud!

Thanks to you, Master.

Don't say that!

I seek no publicity. I'm the Devilish Muscle Man.

When Yin first came to me,

he was a fool.

If I hadn't...

Give me...

Mr. He,

uou did a good thing.

It's my duty as a citizen,

doing charity work is my interest.

I help old ladies cross the street.

I do that once a week.

On public holidays,

I'll even do 2 or 3 times.

Listen,

because he ate our pineapple rice.

There's real pineapples in it.

Our meat ball soup has real shit.

I bet you don't believe me,

get us some shit.

Let me show you...

Tell us what are your plans.

What I want the most...

...is for Li to accompany me to see...

...Leon Lat's concert tomorrow night.

I went through great trouble for the tickets.

Li? Where are you?

Li...

Li.

Li, I want to...

Shut up and kiss me!

"I'm used to being alone,”

"watching the blue sky,"

"racing the wind alone.”

"It was fate that I met you,"

"touching my hardened heart."

"No one can compare to you,"

"I'll never forget your smile,”

"You're the one I love."

"You kiss me with those tender lips,”

"I can't help myself,"

"I'm losing control."