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1
00:00:01,174 --> 00:00:04,334
ś It seems today
that all you see ś
2
00:00:04,344 --> 00:00:07,274
ś Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ś
3
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:11,450
ś But where are those
good old-fashioned values ś
4
00:00:11,451 --> 00:00:14,220
ś On which we used to rely? ś
5
00:00:14,221 --> 00:00:17,490
ś Lucky there's a family guy ś
6
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:21,260
ś Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ś
7
00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:23,196
ś All the things that make us ś
8
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,526
ś Laugh and cry ś
9
00:00:24,530 --> 00:00:30,700
ś He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ś
10
00:00:33,906 --> 00:00:37,406
Everyone, we need to discuss
our problem with Chris.
11
00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:40,380
His little habit of,
uh, personal amusement
12
00:00:40,380 --> 00:00:42,248
is getting way out of hand.
13
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,148
I mean, look at this.
14
00:00:43,149 --> 00:00:44,917
What's that,
some kind of board?
15
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,017
It's Chris' blanket.
16
00:00:47,387 --> 00:00:49,287
We got to do
something about this.
17
00:00:49,288 --> 00:00:51,788
I'm pretty sure our washing
machine is pregnant.
18
00:00:51,791 --> 00:00:54,360
I don't even know how that's
scientifically possible.
19
00:00:54,361 --> 00:00:58,030
Uh, life, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh, uh...
20
00:00:58,030 --> 00:00:58,765
finds a way.
21
00:00:58,770 --> 00:01:01,195
You know, maybe you guys
should help find Chris a hobby.
22
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,436
Wait a minute, Brian,
that's a great idea.
23
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:04,466
Chris needs a hobby.
24
00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:05,970
Hey, Chris, get in here.
25
00:01:05,972 --> 00:01:06,606
Yeah, Dad?
26
00:01:06,612 --> 00:01:08,266
We are gonna
find you a hobby.
27
00:01:08,274 --> 00:01:10,104
What do you think of that?
Okay.
28
00:01:10,109 --> 00:01:12,209
There you go,
that's the spirit.
29
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,850
Yuck.
30
00:01:17,650 --> 00:01:20,987
Hey, Christopher.
What you up to?
31
00:01:20,990 --> 00:01:22,087
Hi, Mr. Herbert.
32
00:01:22,088 --> 00:01:24,188
My dad's helping me
find a hobby.
33
00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:26,426
Well, you sure got a
pretty morning for it.
34
00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:29,056
Chris, don't waste
our time with the elderly.
35
00:01:29,061 --> 00:01:31,331
They're dying.
36
00:01:32,598 --> 00:01:36,098
Please, God,
let me just sniff his hat.
37
00:01:36,102 --> 00:01:40,172
Let me just sniff his hat,
that's all I want.
38
00:01:42,875 --> 00:01:44,375
(sniffs)
39
00:01:44,377 --> 00:01:47,907
Now I want more.
40
00:01:50,016 --> 00:01:53,346
Okay, Chris, this is the
gentle art of philately,
41
00:01:53,352 --> 00:01:55,888
otherwise known as
stamp collecting.
42
00:01:55,892 --> 00:01:56,656
Here's a pile of stamps,
43
00:01:56,658 --> 00:02:00,286
carefully culled from swap
meets and garage sales.
44
00:02:00,293 --> 00:02:01,553
And look at this.
45
00:02:01,561 --> 00:02:02,428
It's a Bolivian airplane.
46
00:02:02,431 --> 00:02:06,198
Now, it says it's worth
eight cents, but really...
47
00:02:06,199 --> 00:02:07,967
it's worth 12.
48
00:02:07,969 --> 00:02:09,235
See that? Already ahead.
49
00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:11,595
Came right out of the blocks
with a winner here, Chris.
50
00:02:11,604 --> 00:02:16,334
Now, we'll just paste this very
carefully into the book.
51
00:02:16,342 --> 00:02:18,611
And that's where it belongs.
52
00:02:18,612 --> 00:02:20,346
Now this is a
loaded handgun.
53
00:02:20,351 --> 00:02:23,216
And what we're gonna do
now is kill ourselves
54
00:02:23,216 --> 00:02:24,246
because this is horrible.
55
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:26,185
Couldn't we just stop
philateling?
56
00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:28,485
Too late.
(gunshot)
57
00:02:30,556 --> 00:02:33,125
All right, Chris, this is
one of the oldest hobbies
58
00:02:33,126 --> 00:02:35,325
in existence: drinking.
59
00:02:35,328 --> 00:02:38,297
Hey, hey, good times
just walked in.
60
00:02:38,298 --> 00:02:39,397
(applause and cheering)
61
00:02:39,398 --> 00:02:42,028
HORACE:
Oh, hey, he can't be in here.
He's not 21.
62
00:02:42,034 --> 00:02:45,464
All right, just hang out here
for a little bit, huh?
63
00:02:47,206 --> 00:02:49,406
(slurring words):
All right, see
you later, gang.
64
00:02:49,408 --> 00:02:51,508
Chris, what are
you doing here?
65
00:02:51,511 --> 00:02:53,911
You're supposed
to be at camp.
66
00:02:53,913 --> 00:02:55,613
What am I paying for?
67
00:02:55,615 --> 00:03:00,315
I could have gone pro
if it wasn't for my bum knee.
68
00:03:00,319 --> 00:03:02,989
(snoring)
69
00:03:02,989 --> 00:03:05,525
(sighs)
70
00:03:05,529 --> 00:03:07,855
(gasps)
Wow!
71
00:03:15,368 --> 00:03:16,668
That is so cool. What is it?
72
00:03:16,669 --> 00:03:19,338
MAN (with German accent):
It's a puppet.
73
00:03:19,339 --> 00:03:20,138
Welcome.
74
00:03:20,139 --> 00:03:23,976
I am Franz Gutentag,
and this is my puppet shop.
75
00:03:23,979 --> 00:03:24,536
Puppets.
76
00:03:24,544 --> 00:03:26,344
And I thought I'd
seen everything.
77
00:03:26,345 --> 00:03:27,205
My name is Chris.
78
00:03:27,213 --> 00:03:30,213
Well, Chris, puppetry
is a wonderful art form.
79
00:03:30,216 --> 00:03:33,116
You can create an entire world
right before your eyes
80
00:03:33,119 --> 00:03:35,149
and watch it come to life.
81
00:03:35,154 --> 00:03:36,214
Wow.
82
00:03:36,222 --> 00:03:37,456
What's that one
over there?
83
00:03:37,462 --> 00:03:40,256
Ah. That is a work in progress.
84
00:03:40,259 --> 00:03:44,459
It is waiting to become
anything we wish it to be.
85
00:03:49,569 --> 00:03:51,337
My name is Chris,
86
00:03:51,339 --> 00:03:54,737
and I like candy and jumping
and colorful birds.
87
00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:57,009
Wow! What else do I like?
88
00:03:57,010 --> 00:03:59,109
You like the pop singing
of today.
89
00:03:59,111 --> 00:04:01,147
(synthesized pop music playing)
90
00:04:01,151 --> 00:04:05,377
(singing in German)
91
00:04:15,528 --> 00:04:18,058
ś Ooh, oh, oh. ś
92
00:04:18,064 --> 00:04:18,594
Yay!
93
00:04:18,598 --> 00:04:21,898
That was the German-est
thing I've ever seen.
94
00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:23,970
I'm so glad
you like it, Chris.
95
00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:25,500
Would you like to try?
96
00:04:25,504 --> 00:04:27,604
Oh, boy, would I?!
97
00:04:28,608 --> 00:04:33,708
I'm a vampire, and I'm in love
with this unattractive girl.
98
00:04:33,713 --> 00:04:35,573
Grr, I'm a werewolf,
99
00:04:35,581 --> 00:04:38,250
and I am also in love
with this unattractive girl.
100
00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:42,250
Boy, she sure can act
though, can't she?
Nope.
101
00:04:42,254 --> 00:04:44,984
The end.
(laughing)
102
00:04:44,991 --> 00:04:46,125
Bravo, Chris!
103
00:04:46,131 --> 00:04:47,325
You have really
tapped into
104
00:04:47,326 --> 00:04:49,156
the wonder and enchantment
that is puppetry.
105
00:04:49,161 --> 00:04:53,031
Plus I move these dolls and
make like they're talking.
106
00:04:53,032 --> 00:04:53,699
Yes. Right.
107
00:04:53,702 --> 00:04:55,668
Thanks for showing
me how to do it
108
00:04:55,669 --> 00:04:58,398
and being so nice to
me, Mr. Gutentag.
109
00:04:58,404 --> 00:05:00,034
Call me Franz.
110
00:05:00,039 --> 00:05:01,369
Okay. Franz.
111
00:05:01,374 --> 00:05:04,004
You know, Chris,
seeing a young person like you
112
00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:06,245
enjoy puppetry
makes me so happy.
113
00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:09,175
I feel like we could
become good friends.
114
00:05:09,181 --> 00:05:10,681
That sounds like fun.
115
00:05:10,683 --> 00:05:13,683
Wow, I think you're just
about my most favorite guy
116
00:05:13,686 --> 00:05:14,986
who's gonna die soon.
117
00:05:14,987 --> 00:05:20,287
That's the nicest thing
anyone has ever said to me.
118
00:05:20,292 --> 00:05:22,702
Oh, no!
119
00:05:27,299 --> 00:05:29,239
(knocking on door)
120
00:05:29,402 --> 00:05:32,738
Mr. Griffin,
I'm sorry to bother you,
121
00:05:32,742 --> 00:05:34,006
but there's a...
122
00:05:34,008 --> 00:05:36,306
Well, there's a situation,
and we need to talk.
123
00:05:36,308 --> 00:05:39,245
Look, if this is about those
droppings in your yard,
124
00:05:39,248 --> 00:05:41,175
it was, uh, uh, Brian.
125
00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:41,747
Yeah, Brian.
126
00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:44,717
No, it's this man Chris
is hanging out with.
127
00:05:44,717 --> 00:05:46,217
He's bad news.
128
00:05:46,218 --> 00:05:48,087
Why? What's
the problem?
129
00:05:48,088 --> 00:05:51,287
Chris is friends with a Nazi!
What?!
130
00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:52,625
At first I wasn't sure
it was him,
131
00:05:52,630 --> 00:05:58,225
but I got a closer look, and now
there's no question in my mind.
132
00:05:58,230 --> 00:05:59,665
Franz Gutentag is really
133
00:05:59,670 --> 00:06:03,935
Lieutenant Franz Schlechtnacht,
the most sadistic S.S. guard
134
00:06:03,936 --> 00:06:06,836
in all of Hitler's
concentration camps.
135
00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,439
That's a very
serious accusation.
136
00:06:09,442 --> 00:06:12,578
How do you know this man
was a Nazi prison guard?
137
00:06:12,582 --> 00:06:15,208
'Cause I was there.
138
00:06:15,214 --> 00:06:17,474
It was 1944.
139
00:06:17,483 --> 00:06:21,113
I was a young Air Force pilot assigned as part of an escort
140
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,489
for a bombing raid over southern Germany,
141
00:06:23,490 --> 00:06:27,089
when we encountered the Luftwaffe.
142
00:06:27,493 --> 00:06:29,723
At first we thought we were in the clear
143
00:06:29,729 --> 00:06:31,297
because the Germans were frightened
144
00:06:31,299 --> 00:06:35,197
by the scary shark face on the front of our plane.
145
00:06:35,701 --> 00:06:38,364
How did it get all the way
up here in the sky?!
146
00:06:38,370 --> 00:06:39,438
Who cares, you fool?!
147
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,168
Do you want to get
eaten? Retreat!
148
00:06:43,943 --> 00:06:46,803
But there was one stubborn pilot
149
00:06:46,812 --> 00:06:49,152
who saw through our disguise.
150
00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:53,120
(machine guns firing)
151
00:07:13,038 --> 00:07:18,577
Most of the surviving American pilots were taken to POW camps,
152
00:07:18,578 --> 00:07:20,877
but for some reason, they thought I was gay,
153
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:24,316
so I was taken to a concentration camp.
154
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,585
Behind those walls,
155
00:07:26,586 --> 00:07:30,585
there was one guard who decided everyone's fate.
156
00:07:30,589 --> 00:07:34,389
If he pointed to the left, you did hard labor.
157
00:07:34,393 --> 00:07:37,993
If he pointed to the right, you died.
158
00:07:37,997 --> 00:07:40,866
That man was Franz Schlechtnacht.
159
00:07:40,867 --> 00:07:45,636
I was spared death, but I was given hard labor.
160
00:07:45,638 --> 00:07:48,568
He made me sort the camp recyclables.
161
00:07:48,574 --> 00:07:49,704
But some of those bottles
162
00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:51,477
still had a little bit of soda in 'em.
163
00:07:51,478 --> 00:07:55,607
It would spill out on my hands and make 'em kind of sticky.
164
00:07:55,614 --> 00:07:57,544
Dear God, how my hands
165
00:07:57,550 --> 00:07:59,850
would get kind of sticky!
166
00:07:59,852 --> 00:08:01,821
(screaming)
167
00:08:01,822 --> 00:08:03,956
(evil laughter)
168
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:07,486
No one should have to suffer the way I suffered!
169
00:08:07,493 --> 00:08:11,923
So that's why Chris should stay
away from that puppet store guy.
170
00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:13,599
That all sounds
kind of sketchy.
171
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:15,399
Wait, are you
Jamie Kennedy?
172
00:08:15,401 --> 00:08:17,401
Am I... am I being skunked
173
00:08:17,403 --> 00:08:19,163
or puked or whatever
some (bleep)?
174
00:08:19,171 --> 00:08:21,240
I'm telling you the truth.
175
00:08:21,241 --> 00:08:22,908
I swear on my nephew's grave.
176
00:08:22,910 --> 00:08:25,778
I don't know, Franz seems
like such a nice old man.
177
00:08:25,778 --> 00:08:28,808
Y-You know, maybe we should
just invite him for dinner
178
00:08:28,814 --> 00:08:29,914
and clear this
whole thing up.
179
00:08:29,915 --> 00:08:32,585
Yeah, you know, we got
no right passing judgment
180
00:08:32,585 --> 00:08:33,685
without getting to know him.
181
00:08:33,686 --> 00:08:36,186
Isn't that right,
Scottish Chipmunk?
182
00:08:36,622 --> 00:08:39,325
Yeah, he doesn't talk,
but, uh, he's a chipmunk,
183
00:08:39,332 --> 00:08:43,325
and he's Scottish, and he
would back me up on this.
184
00:08:46,765 --> 00:08:48,665
Chris, wait.
Where you going?
185
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:51,497
I'm going to
Mr. Gutentag's house.
186
00:08:51,503 --> 00:08:52,633
You can't.
Why not?
187
00:08:52,638 --> 00:08:55,538
Chris, his name
isn't Gutentag,
188
00:08:55,541 --> 00:08:58,741
it's Schlechtnacht,
and he's a Nazi.
189
00:08:58,744 --> 00:08:59,874
What?!
190
00:08:59,879 --> 00:09:00,846
It's true.
191
00:09:00,849 --> 00:09:03,346
You got to stay away
from that terrible man.
192
00:09:03,349 --> 00:09:06,185
Mr. Gutentag
isn't a terrible man.
193
00:09:06,189 --> 00:09:07,045
He's my friend.
194
00:09:07,052 --> 00:09:11,357
Chris, you don't understand,
I'm trying to help you.
195
00:09:11,362 --> 00:09:11,917
Help me what?
196
00:09:11,924 --> 00:09:13,924
Clean your pool
with my shirt off,
197
00:09:13,926 --> 00:09:15,586
or wash your car
in jean shorts,
198
00:09:15,594 --> 00:09:16,754
bend over in front of you
199
00:09:16,762 --> 00:09:18,962
to get little bits
of lint out of the rug?
200
00:09:18,964 --> 00:09:20,794
I know what you're about,
Mr. Herbert:
201
00:09:20,799 --> 00:09:24,269
free labor,
and I'm not into it.
202
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:26,939
Chris, you have to choose.
203
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,709
It's either Franz or me.
204
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,786
Chris, what's the matter?
You look upset.
205
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:43,856
Mr. Herbert was saying
terrible things about you.
206
00:09:43,856 --> 00:09:47,486
He said you liked Hitler, and
your name isn't really Gutentag.
207
00:09:47,493 --> 00:09:50,953
Oh, Chris, you can't always
believe what you hear.
208
00:09:50,963 --> 00:09:54,793
For example, everybody thinks
that prostitution is illegal,
209
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,535
but there are ways around it.
210
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:58,395
All right, let's do it.
211
00:09:58,404 --> 00:10:00,964
Both of you are under
arrest for prostitution.
212
00:10:00,973 --> 00:10:02,403
It's not
prostitution.
213
00:10:02,408 --> 00:10:03,876
You paid her
to have sex.
214
00:10:03,878 --> 00:10:06,645
No, I paid her to have sex
and we're filming it.
215
00:10:06,646 --> 00:10:09,915
So, technically it's not
prostitution, it's a porno.
216
00:10:09,915 --> 00:10:10,675
Oh, well,
217
00:10:10,683 --> 00:10:13,413
as long as you're filming
and selling it, it's legal.
218
00:10:13,419 --> 00:10:14,049
Enjoy your day.
219
00:10:14,053 --> 00:10:17,713
Remember kids, she's not
a whore if she's an actress.
220
00:10:17,723 --> 00:10:21,923
ANNOUNCER:
This has been a message from:
221
00:10:21,927 --> 00:10:22,857
(knocking on door)
222
00:10:22,861 --> 00:10:26,098
Oh, that's probably
mean old Mr. Herbert again.
223
00:10:26,101 --> 00:10:27,398
Dad?
Excuse me, Chris,
224
00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:29,468
I got to talk to
Mr. Pupenchest here.
225
00:10:29,469 --> 00:10:30,536
Good day to you,
Mr. Griffin.
226
00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:33,336
Say, listen, my wife and I
appreciate how nice you've been
227
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:35,007
to my son with all
the puppets and whatnot,
228
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,707
and, uh, we wanted
to invite you over for dinner.
229
00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:38,740
Oh, wonderful.
230
00:10:38,744 --> 00:10:40,474
And I shall celebrate
our friendship
231
00:10:40,479 --> 00:10:43,379
by giving you a hand-carved
German wall clock.
232
00:10:43,382 --> 00:10:45,652
Oh, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes.
233
00:10:46,852 --> 00:10:48,787
I could not
find the clock.
234
00:10:48,792 --> 00:10:49,487
Aw.
235
00:10:49,488 --> 00:10:51,957
But you got three of them
on the wall over there.
236
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:53,757
Yes, those are mine.
237
00:10:53,759 --> 00:10:55,089
Oh.
238
00:10:55,094 --> 00:10:56,554
Yeah, I need those.
239
00:10:56,562 --> 00:10:57,496
Uh-huh.
240
00:10:57,502 --> 00:10:59,496
I just don't know why
you said it then.
241
00:10:59,498 --> 00:11:01,928
Mr. Gutentag,
can I use the bathroom?
242
00:11:01,934 --> 00:11:04,394
Of course. Down the
hall to the right.
243
00:11:04,403 --> 00:11:05,493
It's the door marked:
244
00:11:05,504 --> 00:11:09,734
"gluckmachnichten- mechwerchtichlieber."
245
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,490
What the...?
246
00:11:35,701 --> 00:11:39,341
So now you know
the truth.
247
00:11:40,439 --> 00:11:42,939
I promise I won't tell anyone!
248
00:11:42,941 --> 00:11:44,877
Just let my dad go!
249
00:11:44,881 --> 00:11:49,617
Oh, I am afraid that
is quite impossible.
250
00:11:52,951 --> 00:11:55,788
You're not gonna get away
with this, Mr. Googlesearch.
251
00:11:55,791 --> 00:11:58,088
Oh, but I think that I will.
252
00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,120
You two know my secret.
253
00:11:59,124 --> 00:12:02,524
I must be sure no one
ever finds out the truth.
254
00:12:02,528 --> 00:12:04,396
So what? Are you gonna kill us?
255
00:12:04,398 --> 00:12:06,065
Perhaps, Mr. Griffin.
256
00:12:06,066 --> 00:12:06,995
I have not yet decided.
257
00:12:06,999 --> 00:12:10,739
Well, you might want to do
something about that first.
What?
258
00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:15,207
Quick, shoot him, Chris!
What are you waiting for?!
259
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,737
I-I... How do I know
which one to shoot?
260
00:12:17,743 --> 00:12:18,833
What?
261
00:12:18,844 --> 00:12:19,744
How do I know
262
00:12:19,745 --> 00:12:21,075
which one is the real dad?!
263
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,948
I... we-we never switched.
264
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,148
We don't even look the same!
265
00:12:24,149 --> 00:12:26,118
All right, when's my birthday?
266
00:12:26,119 --> 00:12:27,086
Ah, crap.
267
00:12:27,088 --> 00:12:28,586
February eighth.
268
00:12:29,421 --> 00:12:30,521
(gasps)
269
00:12:30,522 --> 00:12:31,822
Dad!
270
00:12:34,093 --> 00:12:36,193
There. That's
more like it.
271
00:12:36,195 --> 00:12:37,225
You idiot!
272
00:12:37,229 --> 00:12:41,029
Well, learn my birthday,
(bleep)!
273
00:12:47,706 --> 00:12:50,736
Mrs. Griffin!
What a nice surprise!
274
00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:53,676
Mr. Gutentag,
I'm sorry to bother you,
275
00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:57,549
but Chris and Peter
didn't come home last night.
276
00:12:57,549 --> 00:12:58,179
Have you seen them?
277
00:12:58,183 --> 00:13:01,583
Oh, wait, is he a
great big fat person?
278
00:13:01,587 --> 00:13:03,655
He's a large man,
yes, sir.
279
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:04,685
No, I have not seen them.
280
00:13:04,690 --> 00:13:07,159
Well, if you do,
could you please contact me?
281
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,059
I'm just worried sick.
282
00:13:09,061 --> 00:13:10,629
Of course,
Mrs. Griffin.
283
00:13:10,631 --> 00:13:13,065
I will let you
know immediately.
284
00:13:13,069 --> 00:13:14,095
Dad, I want to go home.
285
00:13:14,099 --> 00:13:16,935
All right, let's try
and figure a way outta here.
286
00:13:16,939 --> 00:13:18,995
Look around.
See if you can find something
287
00:13:19,004 --> 00:13:21,064
to break the door down with.
288
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:24,910
(gasps)
Dad, there's a window here!
289
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:27,079
Oh, my God,
maybe we can get outside.
290
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,179
No, it's too small.
291
00:13:30,182 --> 00:13:31,216
Wait, Dad, look.
292
00:13:31,222 --> 00:13:34,716
There's Meg walking down
the street.
293
00:13:36,688 --> 00:13:37,288
Hey, Meg!
294
00:13:37,289 --> 00:13:39,625
Hanging out with
all your friends?
295
00:13:39,629 --> 00:13:40,625
(both laugh)
296
00:13:40,626 --> 00:13:44,156
Hey, whale,
the ocean's that way!
297
00:13:44,163 --> 00:13:44,993
That's a good one, too.
298
00:13:44,997 --> 00:13:47,266
All right, let's figure
a way to get outta here.
299
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:48,826
Now we can't fit
through the window,
300
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:50,834
but maybe there's
some way we can let
301
00:13:50,836 --> 00:13:51,966
people know
we're down here.
302
00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:53,870
We gotta make
as much noise as possible
303
00:13:53,872 --> 00:13:54,740
to get people's attention.
304
00:13:54,742 --> 00:13:58,977
And nothing makes more noise
than unwanted salsa music.
305
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:01,007
Hand me that radio.
306
00:14:02,548 --> 00:14:05,448
(loud salsa music plays)
307
00:14:05,817 --> 00:14:07,717
(loud salsa music continues)
308
00:14:07,719 --> 00:14:08,787
What the hell?
309
00:14:08,789 --> 00:14:12,787
Oh, for God's sake, where's
that white noise machine?
310
00:14:13,892 --> 00:14:15,827
(woman screams)
311
00:14:15,832 --> 00:14:16,995
Help!
312
00:14:16,997 --> 00:14:18,925
Oh, my God, help!
313
00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:20,131
Somebody help me!
314
00:14:20,132 --> 00:14:22,801
(sighs)
315
00:14:22,802 --> 00:14:25,070
(music turns to static)
316
00:14:25,071 --> 00:14:27,839
Aw, man,
the battery's dead.
317
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,069
Now what do we do?
318
00:14:29,074 --> 00:14:31,574
(gasp)
Oh, my God.
319
00:14:32,611 --> 00:14:35,651
Mr. Herbert! Mr. Herbert!
320
00:14:36,782 --> 00:14:38,782
Oh, he can't hear me.
321
00:14:38,784 --> 00:14:41,284
Jesse! Jesse!
322
00:14:41,286 --> 00:14:42,955
(barks weakly)
323
00:14:42,956 --> 00:14:45,985
Jesse, what is it, boy?
324
00:14:45,991 --> 00:14:47,960
(gasps)
Chris!
325
00:14:47,961 --> 00:14:49,760
Chris, what happened?!
326
00:14:49,761 --> 00:14:51,361
You were right, Mr. Herbert.
327
00:14:51,363 --> 00:14:52,393
Franz is a Nazi.
328
00:14:52,397 --> 00:14:54,766
And he's keeping us prisoner
down here.
329
00:14:54,767 --> 00:14:55,396
Get help.
330
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,600
Oh, and if you
see Meg, tell her
331
00:14:57,603 --> 00:14:59,193
"Thunder Thighs
are on the move!
332
00:14:59,204 --> 00:15:00,664
Thunder Thighs
are loose."
333
00:15:00,672 --> 00:15:02,072
You know, I gotta say, Chris,
334
00:15:02,074 --> 00:15:05,074
all my life I wanted
to see you locked in a basement,
335
00:15:05,077 --> 00:15:09,547
but now that it's happened,
all I want to do is get you out.
336
00:15:09,548 --> 00:15:13,318
Don't you worry.
I'll be back with help.
337
00:15:13,318 --> 00:15:16,118
You want me to write
that Thunder Thighs
thing down for you?
338
00:15:16,121 --> 00:15:17,961
Ah, he's not gonna do it.
339
00:15:44,316 --> 00:15:46,616
I'm here for the boy.
340
00:15:46,618 --> 00:15:47,248
Who are you?
341
00:15:47,252 --> 00:15:49,121
Oh, you don't remember me?
342
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:53,358
Well, I remember you,
Lieutenant Schlechtnacht.
343
00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:53,958
(gasps)
344
00:15:53,959 --> 00:15:56,259
But then why should you
remember?
345
00:15:56,261 --> 00:15:57,896
There were so many of us.
346
00:15:57,901 --> 00:16:00,626
But, frankly,
I don't give a damn.
347
00:16:00,632 --> 00:16:01,867
And I'll tell you this:
348
00:16:01,872 --> 00:16:06,737
only one of us is gonna
walk outta here alive.
349
00:16:08,073 --> 00:16:09,303
Bring it on!
350
00:16:09,308 --> 00:16:11,838
(dramatic action music plays)
351
00:16:42,107 --> 00:16:44,577
ś ś
352
00:17:13,472 --> 00:17:15,942
ś ś
353
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,356
(snoring)
354
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,956
Wake up. Wake up.
We're fighting.
355
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:35,589
Wh-where-where am I?
356
00:17:35,594 --> 00:17:37,754
It's okay.
We're fighting.
357
00:17:37,763 --> 00:17:38,853
Wake up.
358
00:17:38,864 --> 00:17:41,064
ś ś
359
00:18:05,857 --> 00:18:08,757
(rapid beeping)
360
00:18:10,562 --> 00:18:13,165
Uh, hang on.
Hang on. Pills.
361
00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:15,465
Yeah, me, too.
362
00:18:19,337 --> 00:18:20,837
Wednesday, right?
363
00:18:20,839 --> 00:18:23,309
Yeah, it's Wednesday.
364
00:18:32,451 --> 00:18:34,851
Uh, you know what?
You know what?
365
00:18:34,853 --> 00:18:35,913
What?
366
00:18:35,921 --> 00:18:37,821
I'm having some trouble
getting up.
367
00:18:37,823 --> 00:18:39,253
Would you mind
calling my nurse?
368
00:18:39,257 --> 00:18:40,187
Her name is Frieda.
369
00:18:40,192 --> 00:18:43,332
Her phone number
is in the kitchen.
370
00:18:52,737 --> 00:18:54,506
(dramatic action music playing)
371
00:18:54,507 --> 00:18:56,106
(singsongy):
Oh, gosh,
372
00:18:56,107 --> 00:18:58,307
look who's stuck
on the couch again.
373
00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:00,078
I'm not stuck on the couch.
374
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,746
Okay, Mr. Cranky.
375
00:19:01,748 --> 00:19:03,946
One, two...
376
00:19:03,949 --> 00:19:04,949
three!
377
00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:08,517
You didn't need me.
You did that yourself.
378
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,255
Good for you.
379
00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:11,515
You need anything else?
380
00:19:11,523 --> 00:19:13,423
No, I'm fine, thank you.
381
00:19:13,425 --> 00:19:16,855
Okay, you guys have fun.
382
00:19:43,955 --> 00:19:46,085
ś ś
383
00:20:01,406 --> 00:20:04,776
Franz, grab my hand!
384
00:20:06,211 --> 00:20:09,251
(mournful music plays)
385
00:20:27,265 --> 00:20:30,435
(bones cracking)
386
00:20:32,938 --> 00:20:37,008
Say good night,
you Nazi bastard.
387
00:20:37,008 --> 00:20:40,378
(birds chirping)
388
00:20:40,378 --> 00:20:42,278
Thanks for everything,
Mr. Herbert.
389
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,115
If only I had
listened to you,
390
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,445
none of this
would've happened.
391
00:20:45,450 --> 00:20:47,650
You were my real
friend all along.
392
00:20:47,652 --> 00:20:49,352
I'm sorry.
393
00:20:49,354 --> 00:20:50,184
It's okay, Chris.
394
00:20:50,188 --> 00:20:53,758
Sometimes the only way to really
appreciate what you have
395
00:20:53,758 --> 00:20:56,027
is to see what life is like
without it.
396
00:20:56,028 --> 00:21:00,827
And there's nothing I appreciate
more than your friendship.
397
00:21:06,571 --> 00:21:09,571
Dad, Mr. Herbert called
me "Thunder Thighs."
398
00:21:09,574 --> 00:21:13,174
Oh, you did it.
Thank you.
40719
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