All language subtitles for Orange.is.the.New.Black.S03E02.WEBRip.XviD-EVO

Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.

I got 'em when I was
15, and then, like, 19,

and then other times, but
I never got it on my arms.

And I haven't even been putting
'em near nobody's cha-cha...

except for, like, once, and it
was a while ago and by accident.

You don't get crabs on your arms.

So, what? I got imitation crabs?

Shit.

It's fuckin' bedbugs.

Like scabies?

I thought it was crabs.

Me, too.

I miss Ian.

- Aw, that's so sweet.
- Ugh.

You got some shampoo or something?

They don't live on you, just in
your sheets and clothes and shit.

So now we gotta wash everything.

What, you gave 'em to me?

Someone gave it to me first.

- Fuck!
- What's going on?

Flaca's got scabies.

- It's bedbugs. It's different.
- Cooties are cooties.

I probably got it from
your dirty little sister.

They probably been living
in your hairy Chia Pet poon

since before you got here.

First of all, I keep my lawn mowed.

Second, weren't no problems

till Pocket Daya snuck in last week
to follow in the family footsteps.

Eat it.

They got scabies.

Bedbugs, and it's Flaca.

_

Now what?

_

Ay, dios. We're all gonna get 'em.

- You don't have a magic cure or something?
- Hey, hey, hey.

_

I just walked up.

_

No.

So what?

You hear the one about
the pregnant bedbug?

She gave birth in the spring.

But these are just pads.
We don't got bedsprings.

Oh, Jesus.

Okay, everybody, start
stripping the beds!

Fuck!

Attention, ladies,

remember to remove all
pens from your uniform

when dropping off your laundry.

Red, you're back...

and you're not talking to me.

Now what did I do?

My post-slock resolution was to
stop giving liars second chances.

When did I lie to you?

"Business is booming.
There's a line out the door."

You were much more convincing

than my husband, but
you were just as stupid.

You could have said you
didn't make your way there.

Instead, you said...
you ate my vatrushkis.

I'm sorry.

I...

I thought that I was
doing the right thing.

By lying?

We read different children's books.

You know... many cultures value
a person's dignity over the truth.

In Korea, they actually call it kibun.

I heard that on The
World with Marco Werman.

In Russia, we call it "bullshit."

Look, there was nothing
you could do about it,

and I thought that I
was saving you some pain.

You thought if you
didn't bring me bad news,

I won't kill the messenger.

I said what I said because I am
a nice person and it felt right.

Nice is for cowards and Democrats.

You're a selfish little person.

You wanted me to like you.

Now I like you less.

Next.

Powell. P-O-W-E-double-L.

Ah, here you are. ID?

Oh, Bennett. Good.
You're George's friend.

- Uh... Yeah, George?
- My son.

He used to work here. George Mendez.

His father, my first husband, is
Cuban. I never could resist an accent.

Guess that runs in the family.

I'm sorry. That was a coping mechanism.

Uh...

Thank you.

George, um...

George says he loves
her. What do you think?

I... I don't know. Maybe.

I'm sorry, who are you here to see?

I know I need to apologize,

but "I'm sorry" feels
a little inadequate.

That baby's got my daughter out to here

and it's too late to
Dyson it out of her.

So I hope you're here for
more than a clean conscience.

I'm a concerned grandmother
just like you are.

Although you look nothing
like a grandmother.

Hispanic women have amazing skin.

Let's hope the baby gets my complexion.

What's it gettin' from you?

I know that...

nothing can ever undo
what my son did, but...

this child is part of my family.

He's gonna live with my family.

Your... husband?

My domestic partner.

Who is not actually related
to the baby by blood.

No blood, but he's got the
sweat and tears part down.

He's takin' real good care of my
babies, and he'll do the same for Daya.

I want to adopt the child.

I'm... up nights... haunted...

I can't bear the thought of
the baby winding up like...

Go ahead, say it.

Like her mother?

Like George.

So... you want to raise the baby

so it don't turn out
like the baby you raised?

I have two other boys.

One is in dental school and
the other is an art historian.

So you raised a sadist,
a dentist and a homo.

Two sadists and a homo.

Okay, look...

you have every right
to hate me and George...

but...

I can do right by this child.

I can offer love and... attention

and a certain... lifestyle.

Money don't mean nothing to a child...

- No, but I...
- You're not listening.

To a child.

But my daughter... can't be un-raped...

and she's gonna suffer bad
emotionals her whole life.

We all are.

Well...

I know money could
never make that right,

but of course, I would want to
help the mother of my grandchild

in any way I could.

Perhaps on a monthly basis.

And the grandmother of your grandchild?

Of course.

That's the team spirit.

Hey... lady guards only.

Your mom is in visitation
right now with Mendez's mother.

- What the fuck?
- Yeah, did you know she was coming?

- What are they talking about?
- I don't know.

Lady Pornstache wrote me a
letter. She wanted to meet...

but I said no.

I mean, I didn't say nothing
which means I said no.

Aleida must've written her.

Relax. It's my baby, ours.

Aleida's just probably
trying to shake her down.

Everything's gonna be fine.

I don't usually get to see
this much of you all at once.

You like it?

You're into big bellies?

Listen up, ladies!

Until every uniform in this
prison is washed and re-washed...

you'll be wearing Office
Depot's... new fall line.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me!

I ain't wearing that fucking paper shit.

That's my color. I'm wearing it.

There is one maternity-sized paper suit.

I suggest you grab it...

before one of your plus-sized
dorm-mates claims it for her food baby.

I asked you more than
once to stay away from her

and yet, with the whole dorm
half-naked, here you are.

I'm writing you up, Bennett.

Mendez's mother is
meeting with Aleida Diaz.

I don't care... and neither should you.

That's my kid we're talking about here.

This is not 3 Men and a Baby.

You and Mendez are not
Guttenberg and Selleck.

You are two morons and
a ward of the state.

Let go. Let go of the dream.

Mr. Caputo.

One box per dorm. That's all there was.

I can't walk around

in my butt-bag panties
and my granny bra.

There are more paper
uniforms on their way.

And they'll get here when?

Sometime soon...

hopefully.

Uh, be thankful the weather is nice.

- CO Bennett, make yourself useful.
- Sir?

Go down to the storage room.

Don't come back until
you find some uniforms

or something uniform-like
and disposable.

Sir. Yes, sir.

Where's the S1?

Corporal John Bennett
reporting as ordered, Sergeant.

Care to let me in on the joke,
Corporal Whoever-the-fuck-you-are?

No disrespect, Sergeant.
Just ready to get in the shit.

Well, look at that, Goggles!

Corporal America is here to
save us from the ragheads.

Hooah!

IA, fall in!

Rifle.

You know, it's always the guy
who thinks he's John Wayne McCain

who shits his pants and needs rescuing.

But out here, we prefer to let
the camel cowboys do the dying.

It's their goddamn country.

Look at you, all nicely starched.

I have a travel iron.

I smell a fobbit. You
know what a fobbit is?

- I'm not...
- Not what I asked!

Army hobbit. Too chicken to
leave his forward operating base.

You think this shitbag's a fobbit?

Maybe. Don't know...

but he's got the whitest
teeth I've ever seen.

Sergeant, I am not a coward,

and I'm sure as shit not
sorry I'm squared away.

I'm here to soldier,
save lives and get some.

Jesus. What a cluster-knuckle.

Could this be our fault?

- The new couch?
- I did an inspection at the curb.

We're okay except for the
mystery stain, but we febrezed.

If anybody asks anything...
it came from JC Penney.

Work line, cell block A, 10 minutes.

Bell, Hartford jail's got six boxes of
paper suits they're willing to part with.

Cost me 300 pairs of tube
socks I actually don't have,

but that's a future me problem.

Have Doggett drive you
and Maxwell after lunch.

Roger that.

Looks like it's spreading.

The only thing spreading is rumors.

It was an isolated event that's been...

isolated.

I forgot something in the office.

Uh-uh.

Walk. That's right.

Just walk away, Renee.

What...

You smell like Arthur Avenue.

Whatever, okay? GloNo's
makin' me bedbug-proof.

- GloNo?
- Gloria and Norma.

Oh, hell no.

Hey, look, whatever you wanna
call 'em, they for real, all right?

Especially Norma.

She got that whole magic
mute thing going on.

Look, and this makes sense,
okay? Bedbugs drink our blood.

They're bugs, not Dracula.

And now that you been necklace
shopping in Burritoville,

you gettin' 'em for sure.

- Man, why they still makin' our food...
- Whatever.

...when they're the infested ones?

Oh, shit.

- Ew!
- Why you...

No, it's protein.

Crunch. It's all good.

Hey, you're scratching.

It ain't real, man.
It's... a ghost itch.

- Mmm.
- Power of persuasion.

Power of you ain't take
a shower in three days,

that might be why you're scratching.

What you care?

Poor personal hygiene can
be a sign of depression.

Man, I ain't depressed.

Oh.

The line's been long in the showers
since it started getting hot,

but I been washing my pits, tits
and naughty bits in the sink.

Well, thank you for that.

Look, you don't wanna be forced
to take a shower like Asia Girl,

don't get so ripe you go
rotten. All I'm saying.

Okay, maybe you got a
point... but it ain't bugs.

Man, come on, man.

Uh-uh!

Forrest Gump... seat's taken.

Yeah... blackies only.

But I got just as much of a
right to this seat as you do.

I mean, this place is full today...

- and you're discriminating me.
- Yes.

Rosa Parks could walk through
that door, but she got bedbugs...

bitch, her ass going to the
back of the bus same as you.

Who's gonna stop me, though...

now that your big-haired
mammy's in hell,

takin' Satan's three-pronged
penis up her butt?

- No!
- Warren!

- Man, chill out.
- Do I need to write you a shot?

No, no, no, no, no. She's good.

She just had a little too
much spicy. That's all.

Give me the potato... now.

Give me the potato.

I got you. You good.

- Yes.
- Sit down.

We good, Suzanne. We good.

- We good.
- We good, Officer Bell.

We...

- I will potato her at a future time.
- I know.

Get your lunch to go,
Doggett. We got van duty.

Bitch, bye.

You not hungry?

I'm not standing in that
parade of tits and ass.

You secretly love this.

Some things are better left mysteries.

Do you wanna borrow my paper bottoms?

Because I could rip them off
and just give them to you.

Come on.

Give mama a smile!

Do you remember what Kubra used to say?

Uh-uh.

"A smile is like tight underwear.

- It lifts your cheeks."
- "It lifts your cheeks."

He's gonna kill me, you know.

Alex...

I really thought they
would put him away...

and I'd be out...

Fuck, I'm fucking suffocating.

Alex, you will survive
because it's what you do.

Yeah... like a cockroach.

Maybe that's your spirit animal.

I know that you're trying
to make me feel better,

but really think about
what you just said to me.

You know, they really get a bad rap.

They were the first animals
to ever mate in space.

They live in tight colonies
because they just love being touched

and they can carry cigarettes.
They're bad bitches.

I can't be here right now.

I mean, seriously, what
the fuck is going on?

Man, it's like six early
releases this month.

Yeah,

bullshit sentences for minor drug crimes
just aren't enforced like they used to be.

Speaking of minor drug crimes...

Our smack scheme is no minor offense.

Really? You couldn't come up with
a code word or something for that?

Fine.

Getting caught with that many Jujubes

will get our candy asses
kicked down to max for a decade.

No, we have come too close
for you to puss out on me now.

I will smother you in your sleep.

Red concreted our shipping route.

All the coke kitties are getting out,

and maybe, like, the universe is
just trying to send us a message.

Bitch, please.

All those girls had no time
left on their sentences.

That just ain't you or me, huh?

Escort to infirmary.

Escort to infirmary.

We need the right Oompa Loompa
to smuggle our sweets out of here.

You know what? Now you're
just abusing the metaphor.

This is the last of it...

and if you ask me, this oatmeal
should be for breakfast, not voodoo.

It's not abracadabra.

It's nature's anti-itch
cream. It's medicine.

So why you making it
and not the infirmary?

Good fucking question. Dame.

Fuck.

Inmate, there've been
complaints about moldy rice.

I need you to show
me where you store it.

The fuck is this? An intervention?

What were you doing
talking to Mendez's mother?

We're mutually-concerned grandparents.

She's not the grandmother.

- She might be.
- What is that supposed to mean?

That's for me and my
daughter to talk about.

- He's part of this.
- Yeah, I am.

Yeah?

Okay, fine.

- She wants to adopt the baby.
- What?

Shh!

- Your job right now is to listen.
- To what?

The only thing worse than
Mendez raising that baby

- is his mother doing it.
- Mmm-hmm.

That's what I said... but it
turns out she got two other kids.

One's a tooth doctor,
the other's an artist,

and they turned out real good.

- I'm not giving up my baby to nobody.
- That's also what I said...

but then she made some real good points.

- No, nothing she...
- Shh!

Daya... you got 37 months
left on your sentence.

He can't do nothing or
he'll go to jail, too.

Abuela is too old and
Cesar's guaranteed to fuck up.

You remember your year in foster care?

You want that for the baby?

- That's not going to happen.
- Shh! Let her finish.

You're not actually
considering this, are you?

Aren't you?

I'm not saying yes. It
just kind of makes sense.

Except for the part where the woman

who raised a drug-dealing rapist
named Pornstache adopts our child.

Have you ever even held a baby?

Changed a diaper?

You wanna make that kid live in
a shithole with five other people?

He can have his own bedroom.

Did you ever spend the
night in a room by yourself?

That baby could have a real life...

with money...

and clean towels and shit.

Look, Daya and I are happy, okay?

You don't need towels for that.

Right?

God damn it, Farzad!

Look, it's only funny
because the dudes are dancing.

Not her. Understand?

No.

Jesus.

Can somebody please get me
a better Muslim over here?

Let's try this again in five, ladies.

Don't sweat it, man.

This is just how Americans
like to waste time.

Bad work?

You were bad at being stupid.

That is a good thing.

You did good. You did good.

What's wrong with them?

Them, uh...

You all, uh... boy-kiss-boy.

Fuck! This motherfucker...

Yeah, I see that.

Ugh, it's like ironic
divine retribution.

We're stuck in our own spin cycle.

This paper suit keeps
sticking to my sweaty parts.

Once, when my mother forgot
to buy me a Halloween costume,

she taped a bunch of
old newspapers to me

and said I should tell
people I was a newsstand.

You know what we need?

Bean leaves.

I got bedbugs at a sit-in for
a Portland homeless shelter.

The conditions were appalling.

So we used bean leaves to trap
the bedbugs and get rid of them.

I didn't know beans grew on leaves.

Oh, yeah, take it off.

Ooh! Excuse me, Mr. Luschek.

We would like to make a formal
petition for some bean leaves.

And maybe some extra washers.

People or machines, either one.

But really, bean leaves.

If you say "bean leaves" one more time,
I'm going to punch you in the fuck hole.

One of the fuck holes.

How 'bout some fans instead?

At least two of them work.

All yours.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to
see you strain your ass,

you know, sitting on that table.

I could probably think of a witty
comeback if it wasn't so hot in here...

or I cared.

Hey, I hope you're not down here
for any of that girl faggot shit.

Well, when you talk
dirty to me like that...

Yeah, I know you've been
sniffing around Angie's tree.

And you should know

the only soggy box that
interests me is mine,

and all that goes in it
are dicks and tampons...

and sometimes other things,
but only guys can put those in.

Noted.

Although, when you
call it your soggy box,

you know, it makes it
really hard to resist.

Hey, how come all the guards
get to wear real clothes?

We're exempt.

Do the bedbugs know that?

You wash our uniforms every day.

Shit!

Whoa! Whoa! Luschek!

It's like undressing in front of my dog.

I need you to wash these right now.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Sleepy-time tea.

♪ A little spray here
A little spray there ♪

♪ Ooh, little spray
in my underwear ♪

♪ Makes the buggies back off ♪

♪ Ooh, makes the buggies piss off ♪

♪ Makes the buggies back
way the fuck Tssh! Tssh! ♪

♪ Way the fuck off ♪

This is, like, the Titanic of bad ideas.

Like, we're steerin'
out the way of bedbugs

and crashin' into an iceberg
of chemical burns and shit.

Please. My Grammy used to
douche with disinfectant.

- The trick is to imagine the bugs...
- Lybol?

...being bugged by you.

You can't give away your power.

Like you almost did at lunch?

Look, you can't be getting' all crazy
every time that somebody talks about Vee.

But did you hear that slattern?

Look, that business about
a tri-penis, unacceptable.

That warrants... a severe response.

Man, you fuck up an ofay with
a spork, you angry enough.

No, Vee would have defended
me if vice were versa.

Okay, even if that was true,
which it definitely is not,

you're one shot away from being a
puddle of black drool in the psych.

You need to check yourself.

- Back off.
- Did you mean...

...to spray that on your skin?

Yes.

Because in general, when a bottle
reads "caution" and "warning,"

it might not be the best idea.

Man, see?

I knew this was a bad idea,

you telling me to clean
with your grandma's douche.

Someone's grandma
douches with disinfectant?

Man, this was the pill
before there was a pill.

It's cheaper than condoms

and make your coochie crack
smell like lemon fresh.

I'm for real. Look that shit up.

It couldn't have worked too well
because, you know, well, you're here.

Man, uh...

When did our bathroom become gentrified?

Since the Spanish became
patient zero for bedbugs.

Mmm.

This isn't social hour, ladies.

Unless you're working,
out. Everybody out.

I gave you an order, inmate.

I...

I need permission to use the toilet?

- May I relieve myself, teacher?
- Excuse me?

- Alex...
- That's a shot.

What?

There are girls spraying
themselves with disinfectant

because this prison
is swarming with bugs,

but pissing is a violation?

Great. I'm glad you have
your priorities straight.

- Where are the fucking fumigators?
- Lower your voice, inmate.

Are they too worried to kill the bedbugs
because they'll kill the cockroaches, too?

- Are you calling me a cockroach?
- It's okay.

They get a bad rap.

Alex.

You're going to seg, inmate.

Alex! No, no, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You know that this isn't her.

She's just back here
after having been out.

- You want a shot, too, Chapman?
- Will it keep her out of SHU?

Please. Come on.

Hey, haven't you ever had a bad day?

Like, a... really... really bad day?

Disobeying a staff member,
insolence to a staff member.

That's two shots, Vause.

Alex.

How am I back here, Piper?

How could I let myself get back here?

Alex, it's not your fault.

And they call me crazy.

Oh, my God!

We will probably never be rich...

and we'll most likely live in
a place that's not that big,

but we'll work hard and
we'll love each other and...

we'll find so much happiness that we
won't even know what to do with it.

We'll share it with our kid.

Our kids.

Will you marry me?

The ring is temporary.

- Uh... my leg.
- Okay.

I love you so much.

We still gotta be careful...

for now.

Hey, you know, I think you need to be
in an enclosed space for that to work.

I'm blasting the heater
to kill any bedbugs inside.

Hey, Luschek, let me ask you a question.

You like candy, right?

Body by Butterfinger.

I'm speaking allegorically here.

You wanna talk about Al Gore?

Oh, Jesus.

Okay. Hey, listen, all right? Focus.

Let's say I happen to have a
Costco-sized box of candy, right?

And I... I fuckin' love candy,
but I can't eat it anymore

because, you know, it ruined
my life, it gave me cavities,

I am in Candy Eaters Anonymous now, eh?

So I gotta get rid of it, yeah?

Like, out-of-the-prison rid of it.

I've got a shit-ton of
heroin I need you to sell.

- Are you out of your mind, inmate?
- Hey.

You're asking me to sell narcotics?

I'm a Federal Corrections Officer.

All right, let's go.

- We're gonna go to Caputo's office...
- No!

...you're gonna tell him
exactly what you told me,

every word, even that
weird Al Gore thing.

Okay, look, Luschek, you must've
misunderstood me, all right?

I'm fucking with you.

Of course I'll sell it.

Oh, my God. Jesus.

Man, come on. You
know I got a bad heart.

You can't do that shit to me, man.

I want, uh... 80%.

Of the drugs or the money?

You're not supposed to be back here.

Yeah, I know, but I got this.

- You slept with it?
- Yeah.

- Said the Lord's Prayer?
- Mmm-hmm.

Okay, good. Evil eye is off of you.

Don't you gotta break it or some shit?

I'll break it in the
morning when I cook it.

What?

But you can't feed somebody my
problems! What... what if I eat it back?

You as likely to eat

somebody's hormone imbalance,
cheating husband or diarrhea.

Listen...

...if it makes you
nervous, skip breakfast.

That ain't right, yo. I'm trying here.

Well, I had to use all the
oatmeal on people's itches

which means that more
people are eating eggs

which means that your
egg... gets cooked.

Thanks.

I'm literally garbage.

I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

Oh, chin up, kibun.

You'll think of the right lie.

What was that about?

I told her that her restaurant
was a booming success.

And?

And it has been shuttered for months.

Mmm.

That's fucked up.

I was trying to be nice.

She was so happy when I lied.

Delusion can be very comforting.

Right?

The best part of my time here

was when I thought somebody else
had named me as a co-conspirator.

It was like...

the universe had just
brought us back together.

And then you realized that I
was the asshole who named you.

No.

I mean, yes, you did and that sucked...

but...

for a while, ignorance was... bliss.

Getting all of our
shit out on the table,

being totally, brutally honest about
all the fucked-up things we've done,

and then deciding to
still like each other,

that is an amazing thing.

Resiliency of the human
spirit and all of that.

So much better than ignorance.

Seriously.

What?

What is it, Piper?

I, um...

had a friend...

call...

Davy Crockett

and tell him that you
had violated your parole.

You called...

my probation officer?

You kept saying that you were in danger.

- Bullshit.
- And I was just trying to protect you.

That is bullshit and you know it.

Just more bullshit!

I'm so, so, so, so sorry...

but now, see, all of our shit...
is just right out on the table

and we can decide to like each other...

You're a fucking psycho!

...and you can stop blaming
yourself for being in here.

And start blaming you?

Because that's what I'm
supposed to do now, right?

So you can keep control
over whatever this is.

Control? Alex, you were
having a nervous breakdown.

Which wasn't hot for you, was it?

Depressives are bummer fuck-buddies.

Can't have that.

God, you're such a manipulative cunt!

You're gonna have to burn 'em.

We're not burning any
books. This is not Nuremberg.

And I'm not that kind of
exterminator, but facts is facts.

Am I allowed to interact with them?

They are people. Yeah.

Can I see a couple of those?

Yeah, that's Rats of NIMH.
It's, like, my top five.

I cried like a baby when Jenner
died. You can't burn that.

Man, this broke-ass prison
will never replace 'em.

- You can't do this.
- Calm down.

We're not replacing any books
'cause we're not losing any.

Isn't that right, Dan?

- Bedbug.
- What?

Man, that ain't no bedbug.

That's a muffin crumb.

Well, how you gonna tell
the expert what that is?

Ain't like I'm not an expert at muffins.

The thing about these
bastards is once they're in,

the only way to get 'em out is to
wipe out their nooks and crannies.

You can't just spray some stuff in here?

Steam the books or something?

I'm telling you, it ain't a bedbug.

What you think, Mr. Caputo?

You're 100% sure?

75%.

How sure are you that
that's a muffin crumb?

- Like, 90%.
- Oh?

Well, that wins out.

You wanna be sure?

Have at it.

- Jefferson...
- T...

You didn't! Jesus.

I'm down to, like, 50-50.

Shit.

Who are you?

Uh, sorry, I'm looking for Cesar.

- Cesar!
- What?

Some white boy here.

Baby daddy!

Que pasó? Daya and Aleida okay?

Yeah. Yeah, no, great. I, um...

You said to stop by
sometime, so here I am.

Also, I brought this gift for Lucy.

And, uh... I proposed to Daya, actually.

No fucking way!

Get in here!

Homeboy stepping up to the plate!

Margarita, listen to this.

How'd you do it? Did you get her a ring?

Uh, I made it, actually,
out of... gum wrappers.

Gum was how we met, so...

Babe. Babe!

What's up?

Dinner!

Dude, you need to get her a real ring.

Yeah, no, definitely. I just, um...

I mean, she can't have
it in prison, though,

'cause she'll get, you
know, shanked for it.

My boss will ask me
where she got it, or...

But... I think the gum
ring is fine for now.

Hey, who's... who's that?

I'm a daddy again!

And I know you ain't gonna
say shit to Aleida, right?

Or do I have to bribe you with, like,
movies and candies like I do with them?

How many times...

Look! Look what you did.

You broke this shit!

Hi. You're Lucy, right?

I'm Lucy.

Oh, sorry.

Happy birthday!

Dayanara asked me to bring you this.

Is it a Barbie?

Well, I guess you'll have
to open it and find out.

No, it's not a Barbie, but it's cool.

Dinner, bitches.

That was fast.

Yeah, leftovers from Storky's.

Hey, I should probably get going.

I just wanted to drop off the
thing and tell you the good news.

Nice try, homeboy.
You're staying for dinner.

Oh, Mitch, good to see you.

Wish it were under better circumstances.

Yeah, well, could be worse.

Fig could still be here.

I really liked her.

The early releases should
have saved you enough money

to handle the infestation situation
without any additional funding.

I've made several
cost-cutting measures myself,

and that includes the new mattresses

which I noticed weren't
factored into your budget.

Because they weren't approved.

They were approved. They have to be.

We're burning 'em right now, Mitch.

Burning, yes, fine.

But we're not going to
replace hundreds of mattresses

only to get rid of them
again in two months.

Why would we get rid of the
mattresses in two months?

No one told you.

Holy shit.

Holy shit!

That's the reason for
the early releases.

I'm sorry.

I don't know how you weren't informed.

The warden must've forgot to
ring me in between rounds of golf.

None of this reflects badly on you.

Your name is actually being
mentioned quite favorably.

There's a good chance
you'll get a transfer.

And everybody else?

How long do we have?

The prisoners should all
be relocated by the 20th.

They're officially closing
the prison the 30th.

Eat your French fries, puto.

I'm not hungry for vegetables.

- Hey!
- Oh!

Pero listen to you.

Don't you talk to him that
way. He pays your rent.

That's right. So you
gotta listen to what I say

because otherwise, there'll
be behavioral consequences.

Man, when you put 'em in the
microwave, they get disgusting!

I'm not eating 'em.

Whoa! Hey, now! Hey! Whoa.

Margarita brought you French fries.

You better get fuckin'
hungry real quick.

Emiliano, do me a favor.

Get the fuck out of my face.

I know I look strict, right?

But secretly, deep down inside,

they're just happy that there's
actually an adult in charge.

Sit down, sit down. Eat, eat.

Impact target 30 seconds from flash.

Repeat. Impact target
is 30 seconds from flash.

Not a bad first combat
tour, huh, Bennett?

Yeah, cleaning porta-johns
and dancing like a rent boy

while Skynet does all the fun stuff.

Aw, come on now.

You know the biggest
bombs in the whole war

get dropped in the porta-johns.

Ha-ha. Yeah, maybe I'll get a medal
for most excellent shit-soldier.

Lock it up.

Eat your motherfucking ice cream...

because we're about to deliver some
serious freedom through their skulls.

You have target confirmed.

Go to fire.

- Three, two, one. Kaboom.
- Oh, shit!

Fuck, yeah, bro!

Bomb! Have bomb! Bomb! Them!

No, no! It's not him!

Grenade!

Bennett, kick it out!

Fuck! Clear out!

Yeah, come in.

I need to add my lawyer
to my visitation list.

You having problems with your case?

No.

And please take my husband off my list.

Why don't you have a seat, Red?

I won't be staying, but thank you.

Please... sit.

The mail cart is going around.

All letters are subject to inspection.

You want to tell me what's going on?

I married a pillow.

Soft, lumpy, and always
lying behind my back.

Words like "always" are absolutes...

and using them is a way to
reinforce what we wanna believe.

When speaking emotionally...

absolutes can be dangerous.

Good advice. Thank you.

Please add my lawyer
and remove my husband.

You know, Red... marriage
is a two-way street.

And you can't swim without getting
wet. See? I can say clichés, too. Ha!

You owe it to your
younger self to explore

those things that made you wanna
marry this man in the first place.

You may find that they're still there.

I owe my younger self 23 years of
wild sex with multiple partners,

but I'll settle for my name back.

You made a lifelong commitment.

That's sacred.

You don't know my story, Healy,
and you don't know what he's done.

_

Hey! Language!

I know what that word means,

and it's not okay to refer to your
husband or any other man that way.

You know, you huff in here...
like some put-upon martyr...

like a smile would break your
face, trivializing a man's emotions.

What is that? Some kind of
a Russian thing or something?

- What the hell does that...
- Hey! Language! Again!

That's the last time that I'm
gonna warn you, Mrs. Reznikov.

You forget where you are...

just like you forget that your
husband has a stake in this, too.

Just because he made some mistakes

doesn't mean that you can run off
and go sleep in your mother's room

at the first sign of
white caps on the ocean.

- You know, this is a bad fuckin' plan.
- It's a great fuckin' plan.

Drugs in the tool belt,
tool belt to Luschek,

Luschek to the streets,
money. Don't overthink it.

You know, I missed the
part where you contribute.

I am the fairy godmother
who watches over you

to make sure that the plan doesn't
go up your cute little nose.

Great. Finally I get a mother
who gives a shit about me

and... it's bibbity-bobbity Big Boo.

- Uh, Boo?
- Huh?

We've got a problem.

Someone stole our candy.

Oh!

Fuck!

All right, that's the last of
the E-Dorm mattresses, Mr. Caputo.

No books. We're gonna
try to salvage those.

Are you kidding me?

- Doesn't matter.
- What's that?

Doesn't matter.

So, I'm confused.

They're from that bush in
the yard by the greenhouse.

They're not bean leaves,

but they have, like, pods on
them, so I thought maybe they...

Are you sleeping?

You know... you can't
actually feel the bites.

Bedbug saliva contains a substance
that acts as a mild anesthetic.

It's in your head.

I should sleep without
a mattress more often.

It's good for my back.

If you feel like that's
the right thing to do...

then you should absolutely do it.

Still trying to preserve my kibun?

I told Alex the truth
about something today...

and she told me... that
I was a manipulative...

She told me I was manipulative.

I lie...

I get in trouble.

I truth...

I get in trouble.

I can't do anything right.

What are you asking for? Advice?

Here's some.

Stop buying into your own horseshit.

You tell me I'm scratching
is my imagination?

Look around. The prison is crawling.

You can tell everyone they
can't feel it all night long,

but in the morning, we've
all been a bug buffet.

Just... stop trying
to mold the real world

into the one inside
your pointy blonde head.

Maybe I am manipulative.

From what I've seen...
to get what you want...

while telling everyone
how clean you are...

you play dirty.

You just described my mother.

She's a kibun ninja...

or whatever the Korean
version of "ninja" is...

and then the WASP version of that.

Awaken your inner Russian.

No more bullshit.

Na zdorovie.

The world is better
in black and white...

and red.

That's my favorite Daya story.

What is it?

What, you bang her and you don't
know her quinceañera story?

She tells that story to everybody.

Aleida got wasted and she tripped
and fell on the birthday cake

and the candles lit her dress on fire...

but you gotta hear
the way Daya tells it.

I ain't gonna lie, man.
This shit... ain't easy.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to
go it alone for a while.

Nah, nah, nah. You get yourself
a little side of bacon...

like Margarita.

That's what women are made for.

That used to be Daya's crib...

and all the other little scrubs, too.

It's nothing fancy, but, uh...

it's got a lot of good luck.

Buena suerte.

I want you to have it, man.

What about her?

We'll get her something else.

It's for Aleida's family.

Salud!

Margarita!

Yeah?

Six months old, but
she shits like a human.

Good morning, ladies.

Additional linen uniforms
are now available.

If you are a small or an extra
small, first come, first serve.

You bitch!

Fuck you, Alex!

Fuck you!

Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.