Original subtitles

See you soon.

Hey, why can't you text like an adult?

Because I don't want there to be a record of what I'm about to tell you.

Relax, you're not that famous to be that paranoid.

We'll see how paranoid you get when you're sued for libel.

Have you read my latest post?

No. Did it just go live?

Look, don't freak out, but some of it is going to sound familiar.

What do you mean?

I just want you to know that it's not about your mom.

Not really.

What the fuck?

Just meet me at Rita's Ale House after work and we'll talk.

Lex had a blog chronicling his depraved sex life. His website, lexlikesex .com,

went viral and landed him a book deal when he was sued for writing about an

affair he had with the wife of a televangelist.

The preface of his latest post claimed it was submitted by a fan named Toby,

the story sounded way too familiar.

In the story, Toby describes how he had been kicked out of his house when he

turned 18.

Enter Mrs. Anderson, his best friend Bobby's mother.

She took Toby in, even letting him stay at her place while Bobby was off to

college.

The mom, who Toby referred to in the story as Mrs. Anderson,

Was sweet to Toby in all the ways his real mom wasn't.

She basically looked after him while he figured out life.

And as a result, their friendship blossomed.

What do you think?

Can I pull it off?

You're more than pulling it off.

I don't know if it's because my son moved out or you moved in, but I feel

again. Really?

I even joined Tinder.

You did, did you? I've even got a date tonight.

Oh, yeah?

What do you think?

It's quite a dress.

Do you want to know a secret?

Sure.

I was thinking about not wearing any panties tonight.

It's a little rebellious, but I don't know.

What do you think?

Ms. Anderson, you really shouldn't be talking to me about these kind of

Why not?

Well, because now I'm just picturing you without panties on.

You are?

Yeah.

There.

Now you don't have to imagine.

I really shouldn't be flirting with my son's friend, but... It's okay.

I wasn't judging you.

I was just trying really hard not to flirt back.

I want to fuck you so bad.

But what about Bobby?

He'll never find out if we don't tell him.

I won't tell.

It's so hard not to flirt with you all this time.

Speaking of hard.

You really can't say anything.

Bobby's like my best friend.

I don't know about it.

I don't know that you're the charming one.

He'll never find out. He's a little dense anyway.

I know

he's

not happy about you staying here because of this exact...

Raisin. I'm worried about a best friend getting this bomb.

You have to face me now

I saw these ones in the laundry too.

I like them on you.

with a little bit more experience.

You're pulling it off so well.

Oh my God.

I'm not going to eat it.

You took off your panties in front of me.

You like that little tease?

I need that.

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh my god.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck, yes, you sick, David. Oh, my God, you guys feel so good.

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

I mean what happened?

Oh.

We don't tell Bobby we can keep doing this

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Lex had been kicked out of school when I went to college, so he moved into my

mom's place when she got empty nest syndrome.

Two of them got very close quickly, which was something I had always been

suspicious of.

I just never thought either of them would betray me.

According to the story on Lex's website, Bobby never caught Toby fucking his

mom, but his suspicions grew to the point that it was all he could think

He became obsessed with getting even.

Apparently, Bobby had always wanted to fuck Toby's mother, Mrs. Michaels.

But he refrained out of respect for his friendship. This wasn't just his chance

to get even.

It was his chance to fulfill his fantasy.

Nice of you to come and pick up the rest of Toby's stuff before I toss it out.

He said you kicked him out so fast he didn't have time to grab the rest.

I gave him six months.

Toby being Toby.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Stubborn, self -centered.

I wish he could have been more like you and gone off to college and worked in

corporate instead of trying to be some blogger. And yet, somehow I think he'll

still end up more successful.

No way.

Toby's the kind of guy that can just sit on his ass and...

Things are handed to him. When has that ever happened?

Every time we grab drinks.

I'll be trying to get one girl's number and he just smiles and suddenly he's in

her car on the way to her house.

Well, sometimes with women the best thing is not to try so hard.

Does not trying hard work on you?

Good point.

What does work on you?

Are you flirting with me, Buffy?

Maybe.

Well,

that wasn't the reaction I wanted.

It's because you're still trying too hard.

Well, anyways, make sure you let me swing over and grab his stuff.

Hold on.

I said...

Stop trying so hard.

And say, stop trying.

This is what you wanted, right?

Yeah.

Looks like you like it.

Like Lacey.

Oh my god.

Do you even know what to do with a woman like me?

Yes. Do you?

That's a good start.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you're gonna say something, don't you?

Oh, my God. Oh,

my

God. Oh,

my God. Oh, my God.

Oh,

yes.

Oh my god, right there on my clit. It feels so fucking good.

Yes.

Oh my god.

Oh, fuck yes.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Oh, fuck.

Oh my god, yes, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, fuck me with that tongue, yes.

Oh my god.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Ugh.

Yeah. Yes.

Oh, fuck. Yes, grab me.

Yes.

Fuck yes.

Oh my god.

Yeah, right there.

Oh my god, yes.

I love watching that fucking movie, Carly.

Yes. Fuck yes, yes.

Oh my god, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Oh my god, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah. Oh my god.

Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, I love feeling every fucking inch of you.

Yeah, that's it. Oh my god.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Show me what you got.

Oh my god. Oh,

fuck yes.

Oh my god, that feels so fucking good.

oh my god yes oh shit

oh my god that feels so fucking good

It's so fucking...

Don't want it.

Oh my god.

Oh my God, that feels so fucking good. Oh shit.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, yes, yes.

Fuck yes.

Get in there and eat that fucking pussy.

Oh my god yes.

Oh fuck.

Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh,

my God.

Oh, shit.

You're so gonna make me cum, baby.

oh my god oh my

god oh my god oh my

god so fucking

Oh my fucking god.

Oh shit.

Fuck. Oh my god.

Oh my fucking god. Yeah.

Oh shit.

Fuck. Oh my god, baby.

Oh my god, yes. Oh my fucking god.

Holy shit.

Yes, baby.

Oh fuck, you feel so fucking good.

Yes.

Oh shit.

Oh my god, he was over there.

I don't fucking believe it.

oh my god oh

my

god

And...

oh my god oh my god oh

my god

The moms in the stories were definitely our moms. The only thing he had changed

was that I never actually fucked his mom.

Although maybe he thought I had.

Either way, I had to straighten this out. Where are you going?

I feel safe.

You can leave just because you feel like it.

I'm taking a personal day now.

You get out of work early?

You fuck my mom and have the nerve to write about it?

I didn't fuck your mom.

Bullshit! Look, I was running out of stories and my publisher was on my ass

about his second book.

I just thought if I pulled from something close to home it would be more

believable. I pretended a fan to protect the innocent.

You fucked her.

I'm a writer.

It's...

I don't believe you.

Dude, do you think I would be that big of an asshole to just go and fuck your

mom? Yeah.

You literally wrote an entire fucking book about how big of a bastard you are.

You lived with my mom.

You flirted with my mom. In fucking front of me. It's my persona.

It's what sells.

Why are you being so defensive anyway?

Screw my mom? Oh, fuck off.

But you wanted to, right?

I know what she did with Lex.

Oh, you saw his blog.

You read it?

Yeah, he showed it to me before I put it online.

And you're okay with that?

Yeah, not about us. I mean, not entirely.

The fuck do you mean, not entirely?

Calm down.

No, fucking tell me. No.

Tell me.

He lived with me.

We shared moments together.

Moments? The fuck does that mean?

He was a... Attentive when I needed him to be.

Kind of like a arrogant boyfriend without all the perks.

So what do you think? Can I pull this off?

I think you're pretty much pulling it off right now.

You know, I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's because my son moved

or you moved in. I've just been feeling so young again.

Really? Yeah, I even joined Tinder.

You did? I did.

In fact, I already have a date this afternoon.

Wow, well, it's really quite the dress.

And do you want to know a secret?

Sure.

I was thinking I would go without panties.

Do something a little rebellious.

I don't know. What do you think?

You talked to him about not wearing panties?

Yeah, so?

And I'll bet you he told you it was a good idea, huh?

Actually, he didn't. He said I would give off the wrong impression.

Wait, the same guy who writes about fucking women in port -a -potty said

Look, life is a dick to those that he hates. However, he's very loyal to those

that he loves.

Like you.

Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't do anything.

We didn't do anything.

I don't believe you.

Fine, Brandon.

We fucked each other's brains out. Does that make you feel better?

I don't know. Is it true?

Yeah, totally true. Took my panties off, gave him a big kiss, and said,

I want to fuck you so fucking bad.

But what about Brandon? Fuck Brandon. He's never going to find out unless you

tell him.

I won't. I won't. You better fucking not. I can't wait to have that fucking

in me.

It's been so long.

God,

I've been waiting for this.

Are you sure?

Fuck yeah, I'm sure. Are you kidding me?

Are you sure this is okay? Fuck yes, it's okay.

It's been so fucking long since I've been touched by a fucking man.

Why do you think I joined Tinder for, huh?

It's not really to meet anybody.

It's just to fuck.

Yes.

I'm gonna put these fucking tits on your fucking face.

Yeah, I think you're excited too.

Yeah.

Fuck.

These nipples are so nice and sensitive.

It feels so fucking good.

Yes, anything you say.

Oh, anything I say?

Oh, we are going to have some fun.

God.

Yeah, that's it. Let me tease you.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

God,

it's so fucking good. Yeah.

You make my pussy feel so fucking good.

Oh my god.

Yes. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh yes.

So deep.

Fuck.

Oh yes.

Oh my god.

Yes. Fuck yeah.

Oh my fuck. Oh my god. Oh my god.

I can clearly...

swear it's so good it's so fucking good yeah oh my god i like that oh my god

i like that a lot oh bye

You tease me like that all the way in and all the way out like that.

But, oh, yeah.

Yeah. That was a clip play. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I want to worship you.

Yes, please.

Yes. Oh, fuck yeah.

There, there, there.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Yes. Oh, I've always dreamt that dream.

Oh.

Oh.

Yes.

Get it in there. Get it fucking in there.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck yes.

Oh, fuck yeah. I love that. Oh, my God.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

God.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Because it's just tickling. What are you trying to do?

Yes, yes, judge.

Oh, fuck.

Yes. Yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yeah,

yeah. There you are.

Yes, just like that. Oh, fuck.

God damn.

So are you.

Fuck.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

I can talk a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah. You want me to smell it, too?

You want me to smell it, too? Fuck you, man.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

Of course I do.

But you definitely know what you're doing, still.

Fuck yeah.

Oh.

Right there. Oh, yeah, right there.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Right here.

Oh.

Oh, yeah. She's got a fucking pussy.

It makes me fucking crazy.

Cheers.

Look at that fucking condom and that pussy, my god. Oh my god, it looks so

fucking good.

Oh my god.

Yeah!

girl don't you

Too much.

So good.

Yes, it does. Yes, it fucking does.

Yeah.

Oh, it's going to make me cum. Yeah, it's going to make you fucking cum.

Oh, fuck.

Yes.

Yes. Right there, right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuck. Oh, my God.

Oh.

There. Does that ending suit your paranoia any better?

She wanted me to think it was some story she made up, but I knew it was true. I

could tell by the look in her eye. And in that moment, I knew I had one choice.

Get even.

So, what did you think of his latest post?

I haven't read anything since he posted that blog about fucking my best friend.

Who was that?

The televangelist.

That was your friend?

ruined her life.

Not that he would care. I mean, as long as he's making money, he doesn't care

who's back his job.

Yeah, he basically admitted to fucking my mom.

That sounds like something he would do.

And that doesn't bother you?

Of course it does.

What can I do? Really?

Nothing.

You can get even.

I tried that.

I was the one that encouraged it. My friend just threw him after that vlog,

what happens?

He gets a book deal.

He always just seems to win.

Maybe not this time.

What do you mean?

He still loves you, right?

Of course.

I think that he feels like he has to spend the rest of his life apologizing

me for that vlog, but he knows he got famous from that.

So, will he ever learn?

When he gets a taste of his own medicine.

What are you saying?

Oh, oh, oh.

What are you doing?

Getting even.

Come on. You can't tell me there isn't a little part of you that doesn't want

revenge.

Of course I do.

Then this is your revenge.

I... I... I cannot do this.

Uh -uh. I'm... I'm not like him. I'm good.

But it feels better.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This is crazy. This is crazy.

It feels so fucking good.

It actually does.

Right there.

Right there.

That's it.

That's it. That's it. Right there. Right there.

That's it. Come on.

Right there. Right there.

There you go.

Good girl.

That's it.

Holy fuck.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god. This is so fun.

You wanna push your cock out of here?

God, I've never been this bad before.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Does it feel good, though? It does feel good.

Oh, my God. You're such a fucking idiot.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yes. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. There's some tight right there.

I am

not a bad person

Your pussy says otherwise.

It's so fucking weird.

Oh, it's good.

It's okay. You feel all right in my cock, huh? Yeah, it feels so good.

I'm just going back to school.

This is the way he does it.

Oh, it's good. Yes, it's good.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch.

Yeah? Yeah.

Uh -huh.

Uh

-huh.

Yes, yes, yes.

There you go, there you go.

There you go, there you go.

There you go,

there you go.

Holy fuck.

You really hurt your hands. You want me to do it again?

Yeah.

It's nice and wet over here.

Keep going, keep going, keep going.

That is amazing.

Okay, but I am not a bad person for doing this.

Yeah, you are.

Alright. Put your cup and car on.

Okay.

Nearly a year had passed since that day, and although I continued to hang out

with Lex and laugh at the absurdity of his vlog, I never told him about Reagan

and I, or what we had planned for him.

I was waiting for the right moment, and that moment had finally arrived.

Why don't you text like an adult?

What have you been up to, douche?

Oh, you know, fucking your mom every chance I can get.

I'm going to be mailing you something. Should I send it to your house or

somewhere else?

Send it to the house.

Wait, what is it?

Just a copy of the unpublished book I've been working on.

What book?

You haven't been working on a book. I have, and your publisher is about to

release it at the end of the year.

No, they aren't.

Yep. Why didn't anyone tell me?

You know, probably to avoid any fallout.

What? Follow that.

You'll see.