Original subtitles

Enjoy yourself, everybody. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the

tonight show. You're here. You made it. Hey, I'm very

excited about this NFL legend Tom Brady is here tonight.

Oh, my goodness. I love Tom Brady, because other than

the good looks, chiseled physique, and seven Super Bowl rings,

we're pretty much the same guy. I mean, twinsies, yeah.

Yeah, Tom has seven Super Bowl rings, but sadly, he

had to trade one today for a full tank of

gas. Oh, that's what's happening. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Guys, I

want to wish everyone a happy St. Patrick's Day. This

is happy. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Today, President Trump kept

with tradition and hosted Ireland's Prime Minister for a White

House visit. And once again, Trump made Marco Rubio dress

up as a leprechaum. Oh. And this was fun. Trump

also had him wear a pair of leprechaum slippers that

were two sizes too big. That's how it happened. Well,

guys, this day, 18 of the war in Ireland today,

Trump said that most of our NATO allies have informed

the White House that they don't want to get involved.

Yeah, Trump asked France for help but they don't want

to get involved with us in Ireland. You know, it's

bad when France turns on a three -way. Oh, and

people are talking about this. Trump keeps claiming that a

former US President told him, I wish I did what

you did. In Iran, but all of them deny speaking

with Trump. I feel like two things seem equally possible,

either Trump's lying or Joe Biden doesn't remember talking to

him. It's very, very possible. We'll get this according to

a new poll half of Americans believe Trump attacked Iran

to distract from the Epstein files. Trump was like, fake

news. I attacked Venezuela to distract from the Epstein file.

Well, guys, everyone's focused on the situation in the Middle

East where the President Trump has been trying to unblock

the straight of our moves. For more on this, we

go to our foreign correspondent, Kevin O 'Reilly. Kevin was

the latest. Well, Jamie, the situation remains fluid and the

world's oil supply hangs in the belt. I'm sorry, Kevin,

I'm sorry I got to stop. It's hard to interrupt

there but there seems to be a malfunction. All we're

seeing is your head. What's, oh, I see what's happening.

I wore a green suit for St. Patrick's Day and

it's not showing up on the green screen. LAUGHTER Well,

I don't know what to do about this. Maybe I

get, if I get lower, is it better? Or move

around? Is this better? Is this helping? No, it's not,

no. Now you look like a DVD screensaver. I don't

know what you do. Just stop doing whatever. It's just,

you know, stop helping. No, this is not what you're

doing. No, it's not getting better. No. No, it's not

helping, not helping. I know what I'll do. I know

what to do. I can take my jacket off. Uh

-oh, okay, great, great. That might help. So tell us,

have any oil tankers been able to get through this

straight of her mousse? As of now, no. The straight

is at a complete standstill. Sorry, sorry, can't help. And

now, sorry, sorry. Did your shirt say daddy's little leprechaun?

No. It says daddy's little leprechaun. All right, let's forget.

Let's just go to our sports correspondent. Eileen O'Doyle, oh,

no. Thanks, Jimmy. Oh, my gosh. March madness is upon

us. No, all right, thank you. Forget it, forget it.

Let's just move on. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. Everyone's

wearing green. APPLAUSE Hey, this is School of Team USA's

World Cup uniforms have been revealed. Check these out. Oh,

yeah, pretty sweet. They also released the official Team USA

beanie. Check it out. Yeah, and then they also have

the team glasses, apparently. All right, here's the captain of

Team USA wearing the whole uniform. I can't seem to

find him. Oh, there he is, right there, I found

you. See it in the World Cup, dude. Yes. Well,

some business news. The CEO of Delta Airlines said that

airfares are going to go up due to rising fuel

costs. Meanwhile, Southwest was like, in that case, we're just

going to use half our engines. Finally, guys, it is

Tuesday. It is time for We Post. Here we go.

We post. Welcome to We Post. This is where we,

as a group, decide something we should post on socials.

I'm going to show you five different posts. And we're

all going to vote on whether you like each one

or not. You all have voting clickers at your seats.

I could tell by the confusion, the mass confusion that

you do, some of you don't. Here's the deal. You

could vote for all these, if you like. You could

vote for none of these, whatever. I just want you

to have fun and enjoy it. Whatever we'll see, the

results live. Higgins, you have a clicker, roots. You got

clickers. All right, good. We're going to post which everyone

gets the most likes from all of us because it's

not a me post. It's a We Post. Thank you.

You guys ready? All right. You guys ready? Yeah. All

right, the first post could be making small talk in

the elevator, torture, overhearing other people's small talk in the

elevator. I've never been more fascinated in my life. What

are they saying? Really? Really? I never thought. Yeah. There.

Yeah. OK, here we go. Up or down, green or

red, the votes are in. Let's see the results. Not

bad, 146. Wow. 146, pretty good. I think we can

do better. Yeah, here we go. This next one here

is, I don't know what the issue is, my number

of fingers or every coffee mug handle ever. Too big.

Too small. You need three fingers to fit in that

little four can fit in there. No. Unless you have

Mickey Mouse hand. If you have Mickey Mouse gloves. Yeah,

Mickey Mouse gloves on here. All right, here we go.

From the silence, I feel like this is not going

to work. I feel like this might be up. Here

we go. Let's see the results here. Oh, wow. That's

called a double win. Yeah, that's terrible. All right, good.

Well, that one's not going to make it. All right,

let's go on. We can't all be winners and they

don't necessarily get better. So here we go. Next one

here says, at this point, I think it's time to

change spam likely to 100 % spam. Wow. It's clearly

spam, if you say spam likely. No, there's no one.

It's not just likely, it is spam. Yeah. All right,

let's see the results on this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow. One of those nights, I could feel it. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. I think the next, no. We might get

one. Really? Well, whatever it is, whatever the next one

is, everybody thumbs up. All right. No, no, don't, don't,

don't, don't, don't rig it. Don't really have to only

do it if you like it. OK, OK. You don't

have to, yeah. Let's not rig it. Reak. All right,

this next one is the easiest way to tell the

difference between an alligator and a crocodile is to let

one eat you then check your obituary. I have no

idea. Oh, wait. One lives in the water. I have

no clue what the difference is. Yeah. All right, vote,

vote, yes or no. And this one and the votes

are here. Let's see the results here. Oh, no, Pat.

Whoa. That's in the lead. That is now in the

lead, right now. Here we go. We're down to our

last one here. This one says, I've never starred in

Mission Impossible, but I have got a frantic text from

my wife saying, I need the security code that was

sent to your phone within 60 seconds. I don't know

any other knows one. I don't know. All right, send

the whole thing you went through. All right, let's see

the results here and one vote. Whoa. That's it. That's

the winner. You guys like it. There you go. I'm

going to post this during the break. If you happen

to see it online, give that we post a repost.

We have a great show and a vote legend. Tom

Brady is here tonight. Come on, man. The very talented

Linda Cartelini is joining us. Boston Celtic superstar Derek White

is here. And we've got Santa from Ireland's own Katie

Boyle. Stick around. We'll be right back with Tom Brady.

Come on, man.