Original subtitles

present

in co-production with

a Martin Šulík film

THE GARDEN

Cast

Concept and Screenplay

Dramaturge: Co-author of Screenplay:

Chapter one. We learn about Jakub,

his lame father and their major problems.

A woman named Tereza will also be present there.

Welcome.

- Good morning. - I was expecting you tomorrow.

Something's already finished for you.

Take your clothes off.

Hang on, dearie.

Tereza, don't be silly.

What's up with you?

It takes me a bit more time to get going now.

- Can you feel it? - What?

Here... a tiny lump.

I might have cancer.

You can't be serious.

And here... can you feel it?

I can feel something now.

You awful beast.

What are you doing to me, Jakub?

Madam Tereza is my client. And you, madam!

You're married, you have two small children. What's got into you?

Why are you covering up her body? Cover up yours!

Just see what he looks like... You're ill!

- You'd better finish that sleeve. - Where should I go? This is my flat!

Leave us alone, father.

When are you going to clear out?

- You just laze about here, idling... - It's the holidays. I'll start teaching in a week.

To hell with your teaching!

You've been teaching for ten years but you've got nothing to show for it.

Not even a basic flat.

- You'll give me a heart attack. - Baruch...

Here, have some of this.

He pisses everywhere and stinks. Get him castrated.

Don't listen to him, Baruch.

He doesn't like you.

Sell the garden that belonged to grandpa and buy a flat of your own.

I don't want to see you here any longer.

Chapter two. Jakub, tormented by the debauchery of city life,

arrives in the garden of God and experiences a variety of adventures.

Mysterious notes will also be found.

Anno Domini 1912.

Observations of nature.

The bat is gifted with extraordinary salaciousness.

It doesn't follow any natural way of sexual intercourse.

When two males or two females are together alone, they mate immediately.

Chapter three. Jakub decides to put things in order,

he experiences a dog's malice

and gets acquainted with the Miracle Maid.

Get lost!

Is that your animal?

Don't shout at him. He's scared of you.

Let go of me!

Get lost!

Restrain that dog! It'll bite me!

Go away, you beast!

Get lost!

- Won't it come back? - I don't know. It wasn't my dog.

- How did you get that? - My mum beat me. Here too.

The other day she thrashed me with a hose. Can you see it?

What's your name?

Helena.

- My mother thinks I'm a nutcase. - What?

When the world was created, God gave the Sun,

the Moon and other planets

a power which they put into the ground.

Plants, animals and humans would not be able to reproduce without it

the way they do now.

How many planets are there?

Apart from the Sun, there are seven large ones.

Hermes, Aphrodite, Gaia, Ares, Zeus, Kronos, Uranus.

Chapter four. Jakub gets to know a certain Benedikt

who wants to become a saint.

Jakub listens to his words of wisdom and learns humility.

Here, chew on this a bit.

- What have you done today? - Nothing.

Bad life.

Making bread is a gift from God.

It helps rid us of temptation and sin.

What will remain after you

- if you do nothing? - What should I do?

Wash my feet.

God spoke to me. He woke me up and said:

Benedikt, if you want to become a saint, stop your wandering.

Find somewhere you like and build a house there.

Increase your flocks and extend your fields.

Let not time be your enemy.

- Do you think God exists? - Who knows?

An agnostic answer. You're well off.

You haven't seen him, but I've spoken to him

and now I have to live with it.

Hey, let's go...

Hey, come on...

Chapter five. The inexperienced Jakub has to face the trammels of motherly love,

a poor hen will be put to sleep by black magic

and Jakub will not even believe his own eyes.

She has come to apologise.

What for?

Don't be angry at her. She clings to everybody.

Some men even abuse it.

- Why do you beat her? - Me?

She's been tormenting me in this way ever since she was little.

What did you make up this time?

We were over fifty when she was conceived.

She's stupid. She can't even write.

I can.

You see? She's lying again.

Just scribbles. Nonsense.

Open this, please.

She takes after her father. He was crazy too.

He used to sleep all the time.

Then I took him to the hospital and he never woke up again.

Chapter six. Jakub quarrels with his lover Tereza

and returns to the garden of God despite the wild wasps being there.

- Hi. - Tereza, go away!

Let me go!

Stop! Run away!

Make yourself scarce or they'll sting you!

What are you doing here?

We haven't seen each other for a week and you ask such a stupid question.

- What do you want from me? - It's itching terribly.

- Scratch it. - It's beginning to swell.

Take your clothes off.

Now here.

- I went to the doctor's yesterday. - And what?

I'm OK.

I thought I had a tumour but he said everything's all right.

Keep still 'til it dries.

I need you inside me all of the time.

Always.

What is it?

That's you.

Come back with me.

My whole body's been stung.

What will you tell your husband?

I don't know. I'll figure something out.

We should split up.

Don't even joke about it, or I'll kill you.

Get out. A bus will take you on from here.

I thought you were coming back with me.

I'll stay here for a few more days.

Do you really want to leave me here?

Take this for your children.

The bus will be here in a minute.

In the autumn, with God's help,

I had some plums distilled. The slivovitz was better than I expected.

Strong and delicious on the tongue.

I decided not to drink it but to bury it in the garden.

Chapter seven. Jakub is renovating his house and performs the fearless feats of Houdini.

The Miracle Maid gives him back his strength and peace

in the garden of God by means of healing ants.

Wait!

Ouch! That hurts!

- Did she beat you again? - She thinks I sleep with you.

I know how to cure it. It'll be gone by tomorrow.

Who taught you to write?

Your grandfather. He also taught me all the capitals.

Why didn't you go to school?

I couldn't speak for a long time.

I was born this little.

There are ants here.

Don't kill them!

- I've got them everywhere. - That's good. They cure you.

- But I'm okay. - Never mind.

They'll find something.

Chapter eight. Jakub meets a certain Jean-Jacques Rousseau

and strikes a good deal with him.

He also learns about the tragic consequences of progress

and the wonderful pleasures of poverty.

- Hey, you over there! I need you! - Me?

My name's Rousseau. You'll help me with the car.

This technology is getting on my nerves.

Progress represents nothing but a decline in human kindness.

You should take it to a garage.

No way! That would mean that I accept the state of facts as they are.

Oh Lord, free us from knowledge, impose innocence and poverty on us.

Do you think it would help us?

We are all victims of false self-respect.

We are not alive, but we convince others that we do live.

Quit all that bullshit, we're never gonna make it to the wedding like that.

Don't stress me out, you can see that I'm working on it!

This is what comes of our poor upbringing.

If you'd known her a few years ago, what a woman she was then!

Simple as a saint and pure in spirit.

And it was so stupid of me to teach her to read.

Ever since then, she's been unbearable. Shut up, you bastards!

Give it one more go.

Quiet!

- You've made it break down! - I told you I don't understand it.

You've ruined me. What am I going to do now?

Is that yours?

I'll borrow it.

- But I need it. - What for?

This luxury is a punishment for our naive attempt to escape from God's ignorance.

You know what?

There is no man of nature living a real life, led only by his own feelings,

not the stupid social conventions.

- Let's go! Don't forget anything! - Hurry up!

Enhance your spirit in wisdom!

Chapter nine. Jakub makes a journey for knowledge with his father

and significantly changes his body and spirit.

Various songs will be sung too.

How much longer do you plan to sleep?

This came for you. You should've been teaching for three days. Where are you?

- How did you get here? - By bus.

- The cat has disappeared. - Baruch?

I put out some milk for him yesterday, and it's still there.

My father was mad about boxing. He broke my nose twice.

I'd like to burn the whole place down.

- That Tereza of yours came to see me. - What did she want?

Brought me a box of chocolates.

She's a nice one. It's a pleasure to sew for her.

Stop fidgeting about!

Just imagine, women don't excite me anymore.

I even look at dirty magazines... and nothing.

And what about you? When are you going to get married?

You should have children. I'd play with them.

Why did she come to see you?

She said she's getting divorced. She'd be a good match for you.

- What have you done? - I told you not to fidget.

I look like a complete idiot.

How can I appear in front of my clients?

It's your turn now.

Where's your car?

I exchanged it for this one.

- What make is it? - I don't know.

I've never driven. But I wouldn't be afraid to drive this one.

- What's up? - Let's swap places.

Why?

Try it.

- What do I have to do? - Put your foot on the gas pedal.

- Which one? - The shorter one. Can you reach it?

Let the clutch out gently.

We're moving.

A fine exchange!

You should sell the garden.

I've never liked being there.

I used to be left there on my own all the time.

Father was always experimenting with me.

He hung me on a branch and left me there until I was completely exhausted.

He wanted you to be a real man.

He would lower me down the well with a burning candle.

I don't even know why. I nearly drowned in there.

When I was fourteen, I ran away from home to Bohemia

and did my apprenticeship there.

When will you go back to school?

I'll tell them you're ill.

They've no idea how to play!

What would you like to hear?

Something like... Pardon me, boy, Is that the Chattanooga choo choo...

- Or some Spanish tunes. - Do you like them?

Watch me.

Damn, it's nice here.

Chapter ten. Jakub and the Miracle Maid

merge into one flesh by eating the fruit of Eden.

Jakub also gets rid of Tereza forever, in a despicable way.

Through fire, Jakub sends secret news to the world.

- Argentina! - Buenos Aires!

- Madagascar! - Antananarivo!

- Malaysia! - Kuala Lumpur!

God bless you, apple-tree!

I saw a large white caterpillar yesterday.

It was crawling among the trees eating everything.

I was in its belly. It was pleasantly warm in there.

You were there too.

Why don't you leave your mother?

Where would I go?

- Let me be! - What's wrong?

- I want to wash your feet. - Don't touch me! Stop it!

- Everyone just touches my body! - Your feet are dirty.

We can thank Mr. Francis Drike for potatoes...

- Drake! - Drake, the Dutch captain

who brought them to Europe from an American country

in Anno Domini 1586.

I washed my hair with nettles.

I feel dizzy.

Potato bread is also good to eat if you're hungry.

If cumin is added to the dough, the bread is more tasty.

Pal'ko, Michal, don't get dirty.

Stay here hidden for a while.

Hello. I'm Tereza's husband.

May we come in?

Play, boys.

- Let's play tag. - Wait!

A nice autumn.

But the winter will be long. There are too many wasps.

I know. I talked to the ants about it.

How long have you known each other?

I don't know. My father sews for her.

You really don't?! For nearly two years.

My wife wants to destroy me.

She says you sleep with her.

- Do you sleep with her? - With her? No, I don't.

- What are you saying? - You don't have to be ashamed in front of him.

You can tell him how you fuck me every week.

Now seriously. Do you sleep with her, or what?

Sorry, but my dick wouldn't stand up for your wife.

And you can finally stop imagining things.

You are a bastard.

- Behave yourself! - Don't you believe me?

I can show you what he fucked me with!

Let me go! I'll show you!

- Stop it! - Let go of me!

Let go of me!

She takes everything so personally. She's very sensitive.

A nice garden.

It will give you about twenty litres of slivovitz.

Chapter eleven. Jakub meets a wise Wittgenstein,

and through his wise discourse Jakub examines the state of his existence.

What are you doing here?

I covered you up. You might have caught a cold.

I got lost here. Someone told me he'd show me the way.

I walked with him on a good straight road for a long time.

Suddenly it disappeared and the guy told me:

Now you can find your way on your own.

Then he disappeared too and I wandered all night long.

At dawn I happened upon you.

I like it here.

My father buys estates like this for the Viennese.

My name's Wittgenstein, if it rings a bell.

- Will you sell it me? - No.

Are you feeling sick?

That's okay.

I think today's upbringing diminishes the human ability to suffer.

Nowadays, a school is only any good when the kids have a good time there.

The ability to suffer is not appreciated because it allegedly brings nothing.

- How much would you be asking? - How much would you pay?

I don't know.

It isn't worth much.

There's nothing here.

Shops, hotels, car rentals...

- I haven't seen a school either. - There is a school here.

But what is taught there? Nothing but new things.

Nobody realises that first we need to sort out

and organise what we already know.

Sell me at least... a tree.

Take this one.

But it comes with two conditions attached. You mustn't cut it down

or prevent me from doing anything I want with it. Otherwise, it's all yours.

You have made me happy.

But what shall I give you?

Take this book.

It's a good book.

When a man has problems

it's as if he were in a room with no way of escaping.

First, he tries the window but it's very high.

Next, he tries the chimney but it's too narrow.

Then he notices that the door has been open all the time.

Amazing, isn't it?

Don't you have any problems?

I do. But I can't talk about them, I just have to keep mum.

I see.

Chapter twelve. Jakub, tormented by his conscience, shows his understanding

and returns the soul to the Miracle Maid's body.

Baruch the cat will also help with his mysterious power.

- What do you want, Antichrist? - Where's Helena?

She's not at home.

Look what you've done to her.

She's been lying here like this for three days.

Has she eaten anything?

Nothing at all.

I pray for her but God doesn't answer.

- Helena. - I know she's going to die.

I saw the angel of death last night.

Do you want some water?

Baruch...

I'm thirsty.

Chapter thirteen. Purified Jakub becomes a tree.

He also fights a dire battle with his brave father

and through the Miracle Maid they achieve a blissful reconciliation.

Stay here until the winter comes.

I can't.

Why not?

Hares would eat me here.

Nothing can happen to you now. Stay with me.

I can't. I have to go back to school.

- Do you know me? - You are my father.

And do you know who you are?

I'm a tree now.

I'd like to cut you down.

- Has he gone mad? - No. I'm a bit of a loony.

Here! You've got mail.

What does it say?

They're no longer counting on me at the school.

You were sacked, weren't you?

- What is it? - Vanilla meringue.

What's up now?

Put them on.

What's going on?

You're pissing me off! What kind of a man do you call yourself?

What do you want, father?

You left me in the city, alone. I go crazy in that empty flat.

- I take all the shit for you. - What shit?

What, what? What was all that about with Tereza?

My clients are deserting me, I look like an idiot!

Father!

I can't take it anymore.

Go and lie down next to her. I'll sleep here.

That's not necessary.

Sit up, honey.

She's pretty.

Old age is really shitty.

Chapter fourteen.

At the beginning of winter I started teaching at the local school of my own free will.

Helena is a good pupil also.

She's attentive and able to learn.

She's slowly beginning to teach me to understand all the incomprehensible

things in our real world.

What's she doing?

She's floating.

At long last, everything is as it should be.

Concept and Screenplay: Marek Leščák, Martin Šulík

Sound: Peter Mojžiš

Edited by: Dušan Milko

Executive Producer: Jovanka Potašová

Photography: Martin Štrba

Producer: Rudolf Biermann

Directed by: Martin Šulík

Cast:

Processed by the Film Laboratories Bratislava Koliba

English subtitles edited by: D. Shearman