All language subtitles for The Last Word (2017) (The Last Word (2017)) (ENGLISH)

If you should want me, you'll know where I
am Any winter, summer, spring or fall You

can find me the same old place Any time
at all Maybe time and maybe distance Will

keep us far apart For
time and space The faith

cannot erase the
hope that's in my heart.

So I won't stop hoping, won't ever give
up, even though my chances may be small.

I'll keep waiting, so
please come back any time.

Louie, no, no, no, no, no.

You do not trim these
hedges from top to bottom,

but from bottom to
top, as we've discussed.

I understand, Miss Luller.

And I do not want bushy hedges.

You do not want bushy hedges.

We've talked about this.

We have, yes, many times.

All right, I'll trim
the bushes myself.

Give it to me.

Yes.

Thank you.

Then you can cut the grass.

You cut the grass yesterday.

In a diamond pattern.

Yes.

Then I guess you can go.

Thank you.

Oh, these are not sharp.

Look, Louie, you have
to have these sharp.

I'll look in the truck.

Please.

Oh, this is much
more to my liking.

Looks good.

Thank you for your approval.

Yeah.

Yeah, we keep them on the floor.

So that's perfect.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, Oh.

Oh, Oh.

Oh.

Oh,

Oh.

Hello, Ms. Lawler.

Dr. Morgan says here
this was an accident?

Well, you think I'm lying
or just simply can't read?

Ms. Lawler, I'm
just doing my job.

These gowns?

You call these gowns?

If I was wheeled out in a wheelchair,
would you call that my chariot?

Ma'am.

Don't call me ma'am!

You never call a woman
ma'am, and it makes her feel old.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

Oh, you're so sorry.

You washed down four
clonazepam with a bottle of red wine.

Yes.

I was sleepy and I was thirsty.

You don't strike me as the type of person
who does anything by accident, okay?

That's what it seems like to
me, what I'm experiencing here.

So, I'm going to do
some tests, okay?

And if you have a problem
with that, I don't care.

What's your name?

Hi, this is Ann Sherman.

You're really cute
and really nice.

I think we should go
out and date, okay?

Do

you know who I am?

Yes?

Uh, no.

Your predecessor did.

Your predecessor
knew me very well.

My father?

I am Harriet Lawler.

And for the better part of the last 25
years, this newspaper stayed in the black

because of the media buys
that I've purchased every month.

Lawler Advertising.

Of course.

Uh, what can I do
for you, Ms. Lawler?

I request a formal introduction.

Okay.

My name is Ronald Odom.

I'm the editor-in-chief.

I attended the School of
Journalism at Ohio University.

Mr. Odom.

I married Katie Sparrow.

She kept her hand... Mr. Odom, I do
not require the formal introduction to you.

Hey.

Hey.

What?

Come with me.

Why?

Because I'm your boss.

Are you firing me?

You should be so lucky.

Ms.

Lawler, this is Ann Sherman.

Ms. Sherman.

Let us have the room, please.

Please sit down.

Uh, I'm cool.

Well, be that as it may, I
wish you would sit down

because I have a job
offer to discuss with you.

I have a job.

Sit down, Ms. Sherman.

Lois Shenkin was a bitch.

Lois Shenkin, a tireless
animal rights advocate,

passed away last
night at the age of 78.

Right, Lois Shenkin.

I wrote that.

Yes.

Do you know why Lois
Shenkin loved animals so much?

Because people hated her.

They hated her
parties, they hated her

gossiping, and they
hated her costume jewelry.

Only homeless dogs
could bear to be around

Lois Shenkin for longer
than seven minutes.

Well, the people that I spoke to had
nothing but kind things to say about her.

She was dead, and
they were being polite.

Eugene Baker, with a song not just
in his heart, but always on his lips,

Eugene Baker sang his way
into the lives of all who met him.

Do you know why he sang so much?

He was a drunk.

Okay, well, that's not something
that I was going to write in his obituary.

After a long illness, Mary
Ramos passed away this morning.

She left an indelible
mark on all of them.

Yeah, right.

She had syphilis.

I know.

That's not something that
you want to memorialize.

I knew these people.

I'm sorry for your losses.

No, these were awful people.

Well, I'm not sorry then.

But you made them sound as
though they were magnificent.

You made their lives
sound full of achievement.

That's what you'll
be doing for me.

You want me to
write your obituary?

That's what I want.

Okay.

Well, I am the obituary writer.

So when the time comes, I
will be writing your obituary.

I want you to write it now.

Huh.

Is wrong coming back?

That's the wrong question.

The right question is why.

Why?

Good question.

Thanks.

Ms. Sherman, I'm a
reasonable woman.

I have never been
surprised about anything.

And I've never found myself in
a situation that I couldn't handle.

Though, as a reasonable
woman, the thought of leaving

my obituary to chance is
completely unreasonable to me.

But that is what everybody does.

That is what people do.

That is what I've been
doing for hundreds of years.

If I had motivated myself
by what other people thought

and did, I would not have
achieved what I've achieved.

And I've achieved a great deal.

How my achievements are memorialized
by you is of great interest to me.

Okay.

Here's the names of
a few hundred people.

I've taken the trouble
to alphabetize them.

Also, restaurants are
listed that they might

like to go to while they
discuss me with you.

What?

What about family?

I have a daughter, and I haven't
spoken to her in many years.

Oh, okay.

There's an ex-husband.

He's a jackass.

Right.

All right.

What's the timeline
that we're looking at?

Monday.

No.

Yes.

I want it by Monday.

I have plans.

Your excuse.

Go.

That's what I want.

Hey.

She puts the bitch in obituary.

I understand.

I don't think you do, Ron.

You gotta do it.

What?

Why?

Because at one time, this woman was a real
friend of the paper, and if she were to

extend that friendship
at the time of her passing,

that would be extremely
helpful to all of us.

What are you saying?

I'm saying, look around.

I mean, we're in trouble here.

The digital age wasn't a fad.

I mean, who knew, right?

Everybody.

Why do you all say that?

Are you saying I
could lose my job?

I'm saying we could
all lose our jobs.

Okay.

So what am I supposed to do?

Make her happy.

This is Robin Sands for KOXA.

Hello, Robin Sands.

Playing independent music
for Independent Minds.

For Independent Minds.

How long were you
and Harriet married?

A little over 19 years.

And you know, when we got
married, she did not take my name.

Did you know that?

Who did that back then?

But Harriet Lawler.

Yeah.

I get the impression that she...
control is very important to Harriet.

Well, she asked you to write
her obituary while she is still alive.

Yeah, I think it's safe to say that
control is very important to Harriet.

Was she always like that?

Well, you got to understand that when
she started out, it was a different world.

I mean, the men that
she had to work with.

The men she had to work for.

She had to be twice as good,
twice as smart, twice as forceful.

She was, too.

See, she always
thought she was right.

Always.

But the one thing that
made her light up with

excitement was finding
out that she was wrong.

Yeah, see, if you were willing to go
toe-to-toe with Harriet, prove that you

were right and she was
wrong, she loved that.

And she would laugh.

Now, she never said, I'm wrong.

But hearing that laugh...

that was enough for me.

What about your daughter?

Hey, if you were looking for somebody
to say something nice about Harriet,

don't ask Elizabeth.

Trust me on that one.

Good luck.

I don't need it.

My name is Anne Sherman.

I'm calling from
the Bristol Gazette.

I'd like to talk to you
about Harriet Lawler.

If I want your opinion,
I will give it to you.

That's what she told me.

So, you know Harriet how?

I was her gynecologist.

So, how did you become
Harriet's hairdresser?

She walked in the door
and said, cut my hair.

Okay.

And I was like, I'm with, I'm actually
cutting somebody else's hair right now.

And she asked
the woman to leave.

I'm calling from
the Bristol Gazette.

I'd like to talk to you
about Harriet Lawler.

Hello?

Hello?

I learned a long time ago, if you don't
have anything nice to say about someone,

then say nothing at all.

She insisted on
examining herself.

Her diagnosis, always correct.

I had to give her a copay back.

Just a, uh, hateful woman.

A hateful woman.

I hated her.

I hated her so much.

So much.

What do you think of Harriet?

I've worked very hard in
therapy not to think of her.

If there's just one thing you
could say about her that's nice.

One thing nice.

If she were dead,
that would be nice.

How's that?

She's a human.

A human black cloud.

Angriest vagina
this side of China.

Give her the wafer this way.

Hand me the wine that way.

That wine is horrible.

They, they, they, nothing.

Zip it.

So this is what you wrote.

It's a first draft.

No, this is a first paragraph.

It's succinct.

It's one paragraph.

It's to the point and
I think that's good.

No, it's the life of a loser.

I wouldn't say that.

This is the life of a nobody.

I definitely wouldn't say that.

Then what would you say?

Because you certainly have not captured
an impressive life, an important life.

I did my best.

That is really
unfortunate for both of us.

Well, I didn't have
a lot to work with.

No, you had my
life to work with.

And I did the best
that I could with it.

How grossly I overestimated
your talent as a writer.

With all due respect.

Oh, now you respect me.

I was not really sure of that.

The problem isn't
with my writing.

What is the problem?

The subject.

You are the problem.

Excuse me?

You are the problem.

What?

How dare you?

No, I'm sorry.

How dare you?

No one, and I mean nobody, had
one nice thing to say about you.

No colleagues, no
friends, certainly no family.

What did you just say?

I said certainly no family.

Hmm.

Get out of my house.

I'm just, I'm just
being honest with you.

You expected these
people to sing your praises?

I mean, you are way off.

Get out of my house.

Now.

Harriet, what are
you doing here?

I do not wish to be
sodomized in the hallway.

Do you know what time it is?

Sit down, please.

We need to talk.

What is this shit?

These are obituaries.

From newspapers
all over the country.

I want you to read them and see
what other obituary writers are doing.

Wow.

I'm sorry you don't
like what I wrote, but

that's, that was just me
writing about your life.

My life is not over.

Yet.

Now, I have
determined there are four

essential elements to
a really great obituary.

Is that right?

That's right.

One, the deceased should
be loved by their families.

Right.

Two, the deceased should
be admired by their co-workers.

I, I know.

Three, the deceased must have
touched someone's life unexpectedly.

And if said person was a minority
or a cripple, so much the better.

Okay, and the fourth?

And the fourth...
that's the wild card.

I do not know what
my wild card is.

The wild card?

Yes.

A statement of such breadth and wonder
that it's the opening line of the obituary.

For example, a noted lover of arts,
Bonnie Lee Johnson, passed away today.

Right, right.

A three-time state ballroom dancing
champion, Lou Mendoza, died last night.

Okay, I have a question.

Yes?

Well, four to be exact.

Four.

Oh, four.

Hmm.

Family.

My child and I have not had
any contact for several decades.

My colleagues, as you
have discovered, are not

exactly beating down my
door to sing my praises.

I don't know any
crippled black kids.

And four, I have no idea
what the wild card would be.

Those are the questions.

Yes, and you're going to
help me find the answers.

Uh, you don't say.

Oh, yes.

You are going to help shape a
legacy instead of just transcribing it.

I bet you have not been
offered that very often.

To write a story
before it's over.

That's what I've been
talking about, Ann.

Yeah.

So you're going to change
your life, like, right now.

Exactly.

But do you find any problem in procuring
me a disadvantaged youth to mold?

Oh, um, Home Depot is probably
getting another shipment in soon.

The shelves will be stocked.

Sarcasm.

The wit of the witless.

Condescension.

The repoté of the rude.

Sorry.

Shit.

Sorry.

No, no.

Never apologize for
speaking your mind.

Thanks for coming.

Me too.

I'm going to find the
woman that I spoke to.

Wanda?

Hey.

Hi.

Rocky?

Harriet, this is Wanda Barnes.

She runs the program
for at-risk kids.

Hello, Wanda.

Who runs the program
for at-risk visitors?

Ms. Lawler, no need to worry.

This is a safe space.

I'm very reassured.

Thank you.

I know the children, especially
the girls, would greatly

enjoy it if you would come
in and speak with them.

You want Harriet to speak
with a group of at-risk children?

I think the kids would love it.

Or, I'm just throwing this out there,
she could write you a big fat check.

Am I supposed to talk
to your boss yet again?

I'm... I'm just saying that
money makes a difference.

Am I right, Wanda?

I would... well...

A woman who wrote a check to a
small community center died last night.

Harriet Lawler.

Leaving behind a legacy of
unfulfilled goals and half measures.

Can I circle back
on that big fat check?

So I hear you kids are at risk.

All kids are at risk, you know.

Show me a kid who's not at risk and
I'll show you a kid who will be a nobody.

Taking risks is
what life is all about.

I took a risk.

I went to college.

And in my day, no man wanted to
marry a woman who was educated.

No man wanted to marry
a woman who worked.

No man wanted a
woman that he worked for.

But my favorite was, no one
wanted to marry a woman in business.

But those were the
risks I was willing to take.

Why?

Why did you take those risks?

Because there was no way I was
not going to live up to my potential.

So you have to ask
yourselves this question.

Are you willing to take a
risk to do something stupid?

Or are you willing to take a
risk at doing something great?

I think you gave those girls
something to think about.

You seem to be quite skilled at selling
pablum to a bunch of preteen punks.

Right, pablum.

But you know that
speech is not enough.

We have to come back and
we have to find our own hooligan.

Who will benefit
most from my wisdom.

And that will be the unexpected
person whose life I touch.

Hey kiddo.

Hey dad.

I didn't know you
were coming today.

Leanne's not here, right?

No, she's got her class.

The coast is clear.

Ta-da.

Oh look, just what I
always wanted, dirty clothes.

Laundry in?

Yeah.

Great.

You hungry?

No thanks.

Oh come on.

Let me make you a sandwich.

I'm okay.

Thank you.

I'm really not hungry.

I got you that tea you like.

Um, thanks.

Are you still doing
the essay thing?

Yeah.

How'd they shaping up?

Slow but steady.

So when was it you first
started working on those?

I can't remember.

I'm just trotting water, okay?

No pressure.

I'm just, you know.

You might want to save
pencils down at some

point and actually let
somebody read them.

Like you?

Yeah, I'm sure
they're wonderful.

They're not.

Well, see, now I think you're
just being too hard on yourself.

Would you consider yourself to be the kind
of person who takes risks in their life?

No.

No.

No, I...

Your mother, I gotta admit,
she was more the risk taker.

So is that what
we're calling it?

Well, it was a long time ago.

Why not?

Because that sounds like what she did
to us was almost noble, which it wasn't.

Look, you don't have to
like what she did, okay?

I mean, I didn't like it.

But obviously she
wanted something else.

And so she just went after it.

So as long as she's like living
the dream, that's all that matters?

And I'm happy, okay?

Good.

Finally.

And I pray every single
day that you are too.

Hi.

Excuse me.

Is Mr. Samuels available
to talk for a minute?

And you are?

My name's Anne Sherman.

I work for the Bristol Gazette.

I'm a writer.

Good for you.

What is this in reference to?

Harriet Lawler?

Actually, he isn't in today.

No?

I don't even know why
I asked who you were.

He's not even here.

He's not here?

Mm-mm.

Okay.

What about Mr. Schmidt?

Mm...

Sorry.

Okay.

So none of them are here?

Mm-mm.

Great.

You realize this little stunt of
yours will take weeks to fix?

Don't need to be fixed.

My way is better.

I know you think that, but
this isn't what libraries do.

Just because that's the way it's
always been don't mean I give a shit.

There's nothing wrong with
the Dewey Decimal System.

Having to write down some six-digit
number with a decimal just to find a book?

Don't tell me that makes sense.

What the fuck do I
need with a decimal?

Just want to read a book.

That's the juvenile
delinquent I'll put my mark on.

...in alphabetical order.

You should be thanking me.

Hello.

You know, when you utter profanity in
public like that, you risk others thinking

that you're too uneducated
to find the right words.

Who the hell are you?

How about I'm sorry?

Have we met before?

I ain't sorry.

Just wanted to know who's
getting all up in my business.

Well, I know that I am the
world's least qualified fairy

godmother, but it is me who's
getting up all in your business.

The fuck?

You see?

Instead of the fuck, why
don't you just say excuse me?

What do you want?

What do you want?

Oh, I see.

It's community service.

You got busted for
drunk driving, didn't you?

Now, what on earth
made you think that?

You're white, and you're here.

This is true.

However, I am here of my own accord,
no obligation at all, to try to get to

know you and to impart my
considerable breadth of knowledge.

You want to teach me some shit?

You want to teach me some stuff?

Seems like we've already begun.

Oh, shit.

Sorry, sorry.

Just move this.

Trash.

What are you doing?

I sent a collection of essays.

Yeah, they're mine.

Am I supposed to assume that you care about
things besides writing about dead people?

You could assume
whatever you want.

That's how I generally operate.

Yeah, no shit.

What do you care?

I never said I did care.

Okay, well, in the interest
of me getting back to my

life, what do you think your
wild card could end up being?

How about this?

Harriet Lawler, ultimate lover of
clean cars, died this afternoon after

contracting a staph infection
from inside a Volvo station wagon.

All right.

I'll take that as a no.

Get in the car!

No!

All right.

All right, I'm just gonna
drive away with your purse.

It's trapped right here.

That's what I thought.

Oh, God.

Would you like to
come in for some tea?

What?

Tea.

Would you like some tea?

Sure.

Well, good.

Come.

Okay.

Holy shit, Harriet.

What?

Oh, I forgot I had those.

You forgot you had an
extensive collection of records?

Yeah.

What?

You forgot about this?

Yes.

God, 50s, 60s, 70s.

Where's the rest?

Did you start collecting CDs?

No.

I'd rather listen
to elevator music.

Why?

Because it's tinny and there
aren't enough nuances in the mix?

Very good, Ann.

Yeah, thanks.

Analog.

I know.

All the way.

I'm totally into it.

But if you don't have a CD collection,
then where's the rest of your records?

There isn't any rest.

That's it.

Why?

Well, why are you
so interested in this?

Really?

Yes, I am.

I would like to know.

When I was a kid, I
loved to listen to the radio.

I loved the disc jockeys.

I loved what they chose to play.

I mean, they would play
something very exploratory,

and I would think,
yes, I'd like to go there.

And I would listen to the music, and
then they'd play something really bad,

almost violent, and I would
take a look at what I thought.

See what I mean?

They were in control of, I guess,
basically my kind of budding imagination.

Wait, so who was your
favorite disc jockey?

Bobby Dale.

Bobby Dale.

Eclectic taste, minimum pattern,
and really brilliant sequencing.

But then, you know, as with
everything, music became business.

And they put the music in a box.

And then my disc jockeys
became computers.

I didn't do it anymore.

Yeah, but that still
exists, you know.

I mean, this radio
station that I listen to,

KOXA, that's exactly
what you're talking about.

The DJs get to play
whatever music they want.

They have complete control
over the music they play.

It's amazing.

Harriet, you would love it.

independent music
for independent minds.

Number 107.2 on the dial,
number one in your heart.

Hmm.

Okay.

Thanks.

Ann?

Joe Mueller.

I'm here about Harriet Lawler.

What could the ad agency do to make
the commercial better in your mind?

Why are the people cartoons?

Is this an ad for kids?

Well, no, as I mentioned
at the beginning, if this

turned into a real advertisement,
they'd use real people.

You should use a celebrity.

I love Shelly Lawler.

She pops out of the can.

She has legs for days.

Okay, great.

Is there any talent
in the ocean?

Floating around.

Would you just shut up?

I'm Harriet Lawler.

I'm the creative
director of this agency.

A creative director
is in charge of the

creative decisions you
make in your company.

Not other people who sit around
motivated by plates of pizza and $15.

No, you know what?

I'm not going to do this.

Because it's stealing.

You give me your money.

And this is what
you expect in return?

It's bullshit.

I won't take your money anymore,
you spineless pieces of shit.

Harriet, get her out of here.

Get the fuck off of me.

They just threw her out.

Yeah.

It's her company.

She started it.

How can they do that?

She scared them.

Didn't like her because
they couldn't control her.

Jesus Christ, man.

Exactly.

But you liked her.

I respected her.

I feared her.

Why'd you show this to me?

Guilt, maybe.

Probably.

She got screwed.

I didn't open my mouth.

You're P bait.

Perhaps she's a dickload.

You know, there are times when shit
alwaysATTCKS a whole lot of people.

Quite often, for good or bad, you surely
think theность of É님� can't stop you.

She doesn't blow
it away my puppy.

Thanks for coming and
having her in the world.

Through the grass.

Whoa, I was always
thinking up a little bit.

This is our Johnny
when I was a kid.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

Well,

I wish to speak to
Robin Sands, please.

Yeah.

Hi.

I'm Robin.

Yes, I'd like a job
as a dish jockey.

Haha.

Uh, yeah.

I'm not really looking
at the moment.

But I noticed that your sound
transmission is not compressed.

That's right.

Yeah.

Is that because of the
teletronics tube that you use?

Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely right.

Yeah.

We couldn't afford the big digital stuff
even if we wanted it, and we don't want it.

Well, I should hope not.

Damn right.

And who are you?

I'm Harriet Luller, formerly
of Luller Advertising.

I am an older woman, as
you might have gathered.

But with age come
certain attributes.

And one of mine is I'm up
very early every morning.

I would gladly take over the
drive time slot of Don Silver.

Uh, I'm, I'm Don.

No, you're out.

Your voice is thin and
your taste is pedestrian.

And what kind of
music would you play?

Robin, are you
fucking kidding me?

No, that is the wrong question.

Is it?

Yeah.

What's the right question?

The right question would
be what would I play

after I played Nina
Simone's Gin House Blues?

What would you play after you
played Nina Simone's Gin House Blues?

Good question.

Thank you very much.

I would play, very
special, Duke Ellington.

Great.

Then I would play Van
Morrison, Ro Ro Rosie.

Great.

And I'd probably end with
something by the Kinks.

You like the Kinks?

Oh.

The most underrated
band of all time.

That's what I keep saying.

I keep saying that.

Don't I always say that?

You see, Robin, anybody can pick a good
song, but a true disc jockey is interested

in the flow and the sequencing
and the block, if you will.

I am very interested
in the block.

And I'm very wealthy, so I
do not have to have a salary.

Oh.

Well, that's great.

And who is this?

It's my intern.

What up?

What up?

All right, Harriet Lawler.

Let's chat.

Whoa.

Let's do this.

Did I just lose my job to
a 100-year-old woman?

You know, as a general
rule, most people are idiots.

Yeah.

So when you're confronted by an idiot,
rather than make them self-aware of their

idiocy, it's best just to
treat them like a dumb,

stupid child who doesn't
know any better, you know?

They'll be patient with
the dummies, right?

Mm-hmm.

Exactly.

Yeah.

I'll leave it to you.

This is Harriet Lawler for KOXA, playing
independent music for independent minds.

Up next, we're kicking off Wild
Card Weekend with the King's classic,

Wild Card Weekend.

Who's the disc jockey?

I... I'm stunned.

No, I wanted to do something
like this and I just made it happen.

Oh, just like that.

Yes, of course.

Can I... can I stay and watch?

Yeah, go outside.

I've got work to do here.

You can watch from out there.

Eddie Cochran
was a solid choice.

Much respect to the rock block.

Wild card.

Much respect.

So where's he taking you?

No.

Well, I orchestrated
the whole thing.

Why?

Why would you do that?

It just felt like something
that I should do.

No, you don't get to
control me, Harriet.

Is he taking you somewhere nice?

We're going to the
cave this weekend.

The cave?

No, no, no.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

That is not the place.

What you have to do is tell him
to take you to Café Bouchard.

What did I just say?

I heard what you just said.

But a proper date really does
include a very, very nice dinner.

This is not a proper date.

We are going as friends.

That is what I told him.

Why would you say that to him?

Because I don't want
to ruin what we have.

But you just met.

You have nothing.

I have his show.

Ah.

Oh.

Well, there you have it.

What do I have?

It just shows me what
kind of child you are.

Dan Sherman died from lethal injection last
night for the murder of Harriet Lawler.

Her last words
were, it was worth it.

Very good.

Excellent.

Hey, I was looking for you.

I was our favorite
senior citizen.

She's a handful.

I remember the stories
my father used to tell.

Scary, scary stories.

Thanks for passing
her off on me.

It wasn't my choice.

She chose you.

You should feel... No.

Don't say honored.

Fair enough.

How about this?

Thank you.

Thank you for at least
giving me the chance to not be

the first Odom to completely
destroy his family's legacy.

Hmm.

I'm not going to
say you're welcome.

I'm just not going to say it.

Hmm?

This is Harriet Lawler
saying good morning!

Yeah, I went to see her,

she thrilled me when she told...

Yeah, honey, honey, honey, hon.

Yeah, honey, honey, hon.

She watched you look
around, she's my fine.

She's a gal, that
baby's my chain, honey.

Well, honey, honey...

Hello, boss.

I have missed that so much.

Come in.

Liquid lunch?

My favorite.

I remember.

Terrace.

Go.

Oh, Joe, now tell me
why you're really here.

That's the original.

These bastards.

They still are.

Wasn't exactly my finest
hour either, though, was it?

You were trying to
protect the agency.

Your agency.

You were a goddamn hero.

Harriet Lawler, goddamn hero.

Like it.

So that's the original.

Any copies?

Yeah, I made a copy
for your friend Anne.

Anne has seen this.

And

this is what you
expect in return?

It's bullshit.

I won't take your money anymore,
you spineless pieces of shit.

Harriet, come on.

Get her out of here.

Get the fuck off of me.

Well, I like to think of myself as a
curator, you know, bringing new artists

and songs to my listeners that are
maybe outside of their norms, sort of like,

you know, one of those
little wildlife explorers,

you know, bringing an
exotic spice back to the world.

I sound like such
a douche right now.

Robin Sands, rock
and roll spice merchant.

It's kind of douchey.

You're funny, you know that?

Why are you so surprised?

Why is everybody always
surprised when I crack a joke?

Well, you know, obituary writer.

I'm not, like, tortured
and tormented.

It's, like, I'm just
gainfully employed.

I mean, it's, like,
there's a voyeuristic

quality to it that I
find really interesting.

I mean, I have a backstage
pass to somebody else's life.

Okay, so what's the career
trajectory for an obituary writer?

Do you hope to, like, write about
famous people when they eventually die?

No, no.

I'm just... I'm really good
with where I'm at right now.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

This is not healthy.

For you to lie while you're...

I know it's not
technically a date, but

don't lie at the beginning
of a relationship.

Harriet, what are you doing?

What are you doing here?

I am...

Did she tell you she
wants to be a writer?

Yeah, she is a writer.

No, no.

No, a real writer
she wants to be.

An essayist.

Harriet, don't do that.

An essayist is someone who
has a unifying view, a world view.

I mean, tell me something.

What is your...

What are your collection
of essays saying?

I don't know.

I don't believe you.

Do you believe her?

You know what, Ann,
let's get out of here.

No, no, Ms. Sherman, I really
am just looking for an answer.

What is it that you want
to say in your essays?

Nothing.

I don't want to say anything.

I have nothing
interesting to say.

Oh, that's such bullshit.

All right, Harriet,
knock it off.

No.

Mm-mm.

Don't you protect her like
some kind of wounded animal.

I know.

If she wants to be a writer, she
has got to learn to express her mind.

You don't have to
listen to any of this, Ann.

No, don't listen.

He's right.

Don't listen.

Go back in your little bubble.

No problem.

And what is your problem?

Ambition.

Neutered by self-doubt.

Desire.

Desire.

Desire is what my
essays are about.

It's, um...

It's the...

They're about the sacrifice.

Sacrifice that we make in
order to fulfill our desires.

I'm so sorry.

I asked a question.

Oh, fuck off.

All right.

Whoa.

Life.

I see some life.

You bait me into talking
about shit that I don't want to

talk about, and then when I
talk about it, you mock me.

What?

What's wrong with you?

Why don't you calm down?

I just want to understand what is in
your essays and what you're trying to do.

They're just so very
precious, it seems.

Oh, really?

Are they?

Yeah.

I... I... I need, I yearn,
I long, I deserve.

Oh, man.

And the world, the world is so
much harder than you dreamed.

And my trophies, I
don't have any trophies.

I was supposed to get trophies.

You know, in hindsight,
this all makes some sense.

Oh, really?

Go ahead.

Should be good.

I think you're trying to
write about yourself and

you haven't got a goddamn
idea of the subject matter.

Go fuck yourself, Harry.

So, uh, do you have a title
for your collection of essays?

Does it have a title?

Andalusia Now.

Andalusia Now.

Does that mean something to you or is
it just like something you came up with?

When I was three, I... My
mom gave me this collection.

It was a globe and every
night we would play a game.

Close your eyes, spin the globe,
touch the globe and wherever your finger

would land, that's where
you would someday live.

And one night, my finger landed on this
place in the southern coast of Spain and

my mom told me it was Andalusia.

And I just thought that was the
most beautiful word I'd ever heard,

so that was the last time that we
played that game before she, she left.

Thank you for telling me that.

Which way are you going?

This way.

Okay.

We laid out four things
essential to a good obituary.

I'd say I have more than enough
material to make three of them work.

All that is left is family.

You need to see your
daughter and you need to

make it right because
that is all that's left.

And that is the only thing keeping
me from ever having to see you again.

Oh, I see.

I spoke to your mom.

I spoke to your ex-husband.

He told me that Elizabeth
lives a few hours north of here.

We're going.

I'm driving.

In your car?

Yes.

In my car.

And Brenda's coming, too.

I need a buffer.

I already called her mother.

Hey.

How's everybody
doing this morning?

Mr. Sands, would you
please make me a mixed CD?

Anne and Brenda and I
are going on a road trip.

Great.

A compilation of songs perfectly
suited for the occasion, please.

And what's the occasion?

We're visiting my daughter.

And she hates me.

Okay.

So let me get this straight.

Senior citizen control freak, estranged
daughter, the obituary writer is driving

and the nine-year-old intern
from the project is in the back seat.

Yeah, I can get 37
songs out of that.

Very good.

Perfect.

I agree.

Me, too.

Harriet, it's a one-day trip.

It's a day trip.

Yeah.

In your filth mobile.

I've packed a change of clothes and I've
packed some smoked salmon tartines with

fresh dill, capers, and a
sprinkling of goat cheese.

What the hell is a tartine?

It's a fancy name
for a sandwich.

We're going to hit
McDonald's, Brenda.

No, we're not.

Okay.

Who wants McDonald's?

I do.

Here you go, darling.

Harriet?

Yeah.

I don't want anything, really.

Oh, God.

Huh?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Ah, yeah.

Road food.

It's better than
any fucking tartine.

Woah!

Say that, sister.

Just had a rap...

Sharing my thoughts...

I was five when the
circus came to town.

I was six when it left.

I was seven when I realized
it was never coming back.

The ringleader spun
plates, sailed through rings

of fire, creating a world
of magic and mystery.

And then, in a puff of diesel
smoke, the ringleader was gone.

Three rings, two
rings, one ring.

Nothing.

There is nothing like a circus.

Very evocative.

Lyrical.

I like it.

Who wrote it?

Me.

It's about mothers
and daughters.

So basically you're a poet.

I don't know what I am, Brenda.

Well, you gotta be something.

God put you into the world
so you can be something?

You gotta be something.

I don't have to explain.

It can't be seen.

No problem in this car.

Please don't do that.

I gotta pee all over the place.

Now I've gots to pee.

I've gots to pee.

Tiny dancer outside.

You know, I used to have
this recurring nightmare.

That I'd be wrapping
Elizabeth in blankets.

Pillows and swaddling her and
loving her and protecting her.

And then I would look
down and realize I was so

overprotective that I
smothered her to death.

Oh, Jesus.

I wonder what she's like now.

What she'll think of me.

It's kind of great
that we get to find out.

Thank you.

So this is where
she wanted to meet?

Your ex-husband said she eats
lunch here every Thursday at 12.35.

Thirty-five.

That's a little gauche,
don't you think?

That shit's focused
on your daughter.

Oh, my God.

Hello, mother.

Hello.

I didn't know we were
going to have an audience.

Oh, no.

This is a young woman
I know named Ann.

And this is Brenda.

Well, I don't have much time.

Maybe enough for a salad.

You just got here.

Mother, relax.

Have a drink.

Why don't we order?

Excuse me.

Okay.

How's the lobster?

No.

No lobster.

No.

Chicken parm.

Same.

Mother?

I will have a
salad in the sauce.

Not raw, just seared.

And some beans.

Yellow and not red.

And some capers.

Olive and panzanella.

Capers instead of olives.

White onions instead of red.

Make sure the heirloom
tomatoes are ripe.

And I want some basil.

No, I want some basil, too.

On the side.

On the side?

So...

So...

How are you?

Well, I'm wonderful.

Good.

Tell me.

Where did we last leave off?

Oh, yes.

I remember.

It was when you told my boyfriend
he wasn't good enough for me.

Well, I was hoping maybe
he would prove me wrong.

It was our engagement party.

Well, that was bad timing.

That is true.

But you didn't bring him
around to meet me until then.

Gee, what was I thinking?

I don't know.

What were you thinking?

Forget it.

This whole thing is so ironic.

What do you mean ironic?

All these years I've resented you
and then I find out I'm just like you.

Oh, you're being
cryptic, Elizabeth.

Mm-mm.

I was diagnosed with
obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

It's a condition that
unfortunately we both have.

I'm sorry?

An unyielding belief that
everyone else is the problem.

Well, but for the
most part that's true.

An obsession with perfectionism?

You don't want to
settle for anything less?

I see nothing wrong with that.

Uh-huh.

It's not too late to let
go of the condition.

You can unburden
yourself, you know.

You can be happy and at peace.

Elizabeth, I am who I am.

Your grandmother.

Really?

Yeah.

I have two sons.

Two?

Two sons.

Spencer and Sage.

Wait, wait, wait.

Please tell me you're married.

I'm married, yes.

His name is Josh.

He's a wonderful... Yeah,
what do you do now?

What's your job?

I'm a neurologist.

Mm-hmm.

Some consider me to be one
of the best... And are you happy?

...in the country.

I am happy.

And I have a good life.

And you should be a part of it.

I would really like that.

Mm.

Great.

So you'll see a therapist.

I can't bring you into the
house with you being this way.

I've got to meet the kids.

You'll see they're wonderful.

You'll fall in love with them.

Is that funny?

What's funny about it?

I don't understand.

I seriously, I don't
know what this is.

I've literally never
seen my mother laugh.

What are you laughing about?

Mother, why are you laughing?

Mother, why are you laughing?

She only laughs
when she's wrong.

Wrong?

What were you wrong about?

List the many things.

It's not me.

I'm wrong about me.

About you.

What's wrong about me?

I don't understand.

Because you're this
wonderful husband.

And you've got
these two great kids.

And you're happy.

You said you were happy, yes?

Yeah.

Well, then... That's true.

That means I was a great mother.

Oh that's...

What?

You know, I succeeded
in spite of you, Mother.

Why did you want to see me?

I... I guess, to take inventory.

Well, isn't that perfect?

Goodbye, Mother.

Bye.

That was a good Mother.

Here I am.

You're a piece of work.

I am who I am.

Let's get out of here.

Something's wrong with the car.

For God's sake, we all
know this was coming.

Let's get out of here.

We're all the way down here.

Come on!

Do you think someday my dad may
show up and want to get food with me?

I don't know.

Is that what you want?

I get it.

You want it, but
you wish you didn't.

Yeah, I guess so.

I get it.

My mom left us when I
was younger than you.

You've seen her since?

Nope.

I ain't seen my dad either.

Sucks, right?

His loss.

Yeah, his loss.

Yeah.

I'm awesome.

Yeah, you are awesome.

I really am awesome.

Yes.

I know.

You're kind of awesome too.

Do you think so?

You think that I'm awesome?

You know what I think?

What?

Fuck your mom.

Do you think we should go in?

Yeah.

Two, three.

You have so many good
days ahead of you, my honey.

Is it true?

Mm-hmm.

I'm a kitty cat.

Are you?

No.

I'm a kitty cat.

No, I'm a kitty cat.

No, nobody had sugar now.

You see that bird over there?

Look, there's a
bird living in the car.

©ㅇ Oh, I missed that.

Sorry.

By the way,

I'd like to thank my
husband for the great help.

He was great.

You're paying.

Brenda!

Can we get a picture?

Let's get a picture.

Yes, yes, yes.

One selfie for memories.

Okay.

Ready?

Call me Mrs. Longarm.

Good.

Alright, let's go.

Oh, great.

Shotgun!

This is Dr. Morgan
calling for Harriet Lawler.

If you could get back to me at your
earliest convenience, I would like to

discuss your test
results with you.

Congestive heart failure, simply put,
means the volume of blood being pumped by

your heart is unable to
meet your body's needs.

I don't have a weak heart.

No, no.

But it is overworked.

Treatment.

Um, you're not really a
suitable candidate, I'm afraid.

How long do I have?

It's difficult to assess prognosis,
uh, really, with these types of cases.

And how will it happen?

Again, it's...

Difficult to assess.

Yeah.

I, this does not work for me.

I, I wish I had
better news for you.

I'm really sorry.

I suppose the word sorry and its
usage in this case is reasonable?

I've been working in
my bedside manner.

Like I give a shit.

Oh, what, what,
what's, what's going on?

Are you okay?

What happened?

I had no-worn obstacle.

So you've got a weak heart?

No.

I have an overworked heart.

And...

It can happen at any time.

That's what he told me.

Like in the shower?

Yes.

Like going to the bathroom?

Yeah.

Talking to me?

Like right now?

Yes, why are you
struggling to understand this?

No, I mean, I'm just, I'm...

I just must be killing you.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

You're basically just waiting.

No.

We're all waiting.

And they owe a bit.

You have enough material
now to do a rewrite, yes?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, I'm gonna
get, I'm gonna get on it.

Good.

Thank you.

As I live and breathe.

Well, from the looks of
it, I'm not sure you do.

I see you still have that
stick stuck up your keister.

I would tell you to go drop dead,
but I'm afraid you'd take me up on it.

I'm gonna go make some tea.

So you want to talk to
me about why we split?

Is that why you're here?

It's been 22 years.

I've just finished
paying off my attorney.

With my money?

That's right.

Thanks.

Edgar, please, help me here.

Well, I never subscribed to the notion that
marriage is about learning to compromise.

Well, compromise just means that
two people are immiscible instead of one.

Sometimes you got your way.

Sometimes your husband
buys an alpaca farm.

Sometimes your wife spends a small fortune
on the world's most uncomfortable couch.

That wasn't a couch.

It was a settee.

Yeah, that's French
for herniated disc.

But you're not
supposed to lie on it.

It's a couch.

That's what it's for.

Okay.

I'm so tired, Edgar.

I knew what I was
getting when I married you.

That was my choice.

And I have never regretted it.

Never.

Well, Elizabeth
didn't have a choice.

She was stuck with me.

You did the best you could.

No, I didn't.

You did good.

You were better than me.

You...

Oh, yeah, you
were her protector.

You were such a good father.

Yeah.

I understand you've seen her.

Yeah.

We know Elizabeth.

She is convinced that you have
some kind of mental condition.

Yes.

Maybe true.

This is Harriet Lawler saying good
morning and what does that really mean.

Please don't have a nice day.

Have a day that matters.

Have a day that's true.

Have a day that's direct.

Have a day that's honest.

A nice day?

Mm-mm.

You'll be miserable.

Anyway, that's my thought that you
should carry through as you're doing your

housework, your homework, your driving
work, your playing work, your working work.

Have a day that means something.

Okay, I'm going to listen to this music now
and try to make this time mean something.

It's too painful to even think about So it
would kill me to say it out loud All this

time I thought I'd worked it out So if you
don't mind I'll leave it for now And stay

a proud woman I must be a proud woman
Cause I am a strong woman You're ready.

You tell me.

You're a great writer.

Yeah.

Wow.

You're a great obituary writer.

Oh, okay.

Uh, yeah, I knew it.

Alright.

No, no, no.

Stop.

These are good.

These are very good.

But they're fantasy.

They're a girl's fantasy.

You're a woman.

I would like you
to write that reality.

I...

I'm afraid of making a mistake.

No.

You don't make mistakes.

Mistakes make you.

Mistakes make you smarter.

They make you stronger.

And they make
you more self-reliant.

But I'm not like you, Harriet.

I don't...

possess your fearlessness.

Let me tell you something I
never could tell my daughter.

Fall on your face.

What?

Fail.

Fail spectacularly.

That's... that's your advice?

Yes.

Because when
you fail, you learn.

When you fail, you live.

I don't know if I can
write your obituary.

Oh, please.

They're just words.

Yeah, but...

I mean, I know.

I just...

I'm just not ready to
close this chapter of my life.

No, but this is my life that
we're closing, not yours.

Yes, but your life is
way more interesting.

Honey, come here.

Ugh.

Yours hasn't even begun.

Yes.

The Veena Cave Are the most Imperial The
Queen Always into the Chamber Even if you

cannot feel How it moves It
does move there in you Be

Found Daydreaming so far Dead In

here inside but someone
I wanted to do that.

Thank you.

Okay, see ya.

Okay.

No, I'm just kidding.

You smell nice.

It's vinyl and
stagnant 90s apathy.

Um, thanks for the coffee.

Can I, uh... I kind
of want to keep this.

Hello?

Harriet?

I'll be right there.

Who did this?

We did an effort and...

I just learned a truly
remarkable turn of phrase.

What?

Fuckbomb.

Sorry?

Fuckbomb.

Yeah, that's what
I thought you said.

Explain.

All right.

First, you got the F word.

One level up from
that, that's the F bar.

One level up from
that, that's fuck.

But something
seriously fucked up.

That's a fuckbomb.

That's...

That's what you
wanted to tell me?

I'm sorry, but I
do need your help.

The act of public aggression
that I have planned

will probably end up
with you and me in jail.

What about me?

It's you and me.

It's you and me.

I'm in.

And then you will have
to call her mother from jail.

Criminal mastermind, Harriet Lawler,
gunned down in a blaze of glory.

Now, that's a wild card.

Yes, it certainly is.

Now, here's my plan.

Hey, Kelly.

Come here.

Thanks for coming.

Take the chain out of there.

Wind it.

Go over there to that
sign and rip off the L.

Hurry up.

Let's do this.

Got it?

Come on, Jody.

Hurry.

Okay, faster, faster, faster.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

One more time.

Thank you, sir.

Harriet, what on earth do
you think you're doing now?

I'm doing exactly what I should
have done a long time ago.

That's it.

I will personally see to it
that every single shred of

evidence that you ever even
worked here is wiped out.

Good.

I can live with that.

Come on, Harriet.

Punch it.

Well,

I'm just thinking that
you're going to wear Too

tight you love that
booze always a self-offer.

But I don't care
if it's too deep.

But I better make a
song like this if it hurts.

Say that I won't.

You can leave me when the
devil's kissed and all that it's worth.

So hold on to your new mind.

You can have your
new man now girl.

You may find yourself
locked in my words.

Never mind my fish mama.

But I got other
fields I need to run.

So when my temperature drops
and the crown at night stays warm.

You can know I've been thinking
about you in all of my new nights alone.

Hello,

it's Neva since I was here.

Gonna have my supper tonight.

It's

going to be yours.

I love you.

You can leave me when the
devil's kissed and all that it's worth.

I'm just thinking that
you're going to wear Too

tight you love that
booze always a self-offer.

Now, Harriet Lawler was thoughtful
enough to provide me with instructions.

For her service today, a thorough set
of instructions, the flowers, the music,

the readings, the seating
arrangements, all chosen by Harriet.

I was also asked by Harriet to inform you
all that she has bequeathed her house to

the town of Bristol so it can be turned
into a new public library, a library where

all the books will be displayed in
alphabetical order because, and I quote,

the Dewey Decimal
System is for losers.

A sizable donation has also been granted
to the Gazette, and I'm supposed to say,

you can relax now, Ronald.

And finally, to Robin Sands and KOXA,
Harriet offers her expertly curated record

collection, including
every record by The

Kinks, the most
underrated band of all time.

At this time, Harriet has
requested for her friend Anne

Sherman to speak for no more
than three and a half minutes.

A lifelong lover of rock and roll who
became a disc jockey at the age of 81,

Harriet Lawler passed
away Thursday evening.

As the founder of Lawler Advertising,
she presided for many years over one of

the most successful
advertising agencies in the state.

She remained close with former colleagues
and recently was often found at the

Community Center, where she mentored Brenda
Wilson, a young girl from South Bristol.

She is survived by her
daughter, Dr. Elizabeth

O'Malley, and two
grandchildren, Spencer and Sage.

This is her
obituary, and it's shit.

I wrote it.

The truth is, I didn't think that in the
matter of a couple weeks, a month,

that I would be standing here, talking,
Talking about a woman that I truly loved.

A woman who made
me want to quit my job.

And a woman who made me
feel like I was a piece of shit.

But she didn't feel that way about me and
she didn't feel that way about any of you.

She was just challenging us
to be the best... our best selves.

Because she saw what
we had that we didn't.

And that's... that's the
most amazing thing.

So... I think it's a really good
thing that we knew Harriet Lawler.

I think it sucks that she died.

But...

At the end of the day...

All I really needed to say...

All I really ever needed to say
was that she will not be forgotten.

That's the best that
any of us could hope for.

That we will not be forgotten.

Harriet Lawler lived her life.

And I'm gonna honor her
memory by doing the same.

In the process you couldn't.

To!

Did someone talk to Harriet?

Harriet Walton.

But she couldn't blame me.

MUSIC CONTINUES

This is not my
letter of resignation.

This is my obituary.

The young girl who worked for
you for the last seven years is dead.

And buried.

She leaves behind a lifetime of
indecision, hesitation, and fear.

She will not be missed.

She will not be mourned.

Because she was really
never alive to begin with.

But she is now.

And she has her
entire life in front of her.

An entire life just
waiting to be filled.