Original subtitles

Look, I don't want to take up a ton of your time...

but I'm gonna kill myself.

I just thought that someone should know.

I don't really know how this works.

I'm probably gonna jump off an overpass in front of a semi, so...

or a U-Haul, maybe just on a bus.

I'm not gonna be a dick and make people watch.

But it has to be big.

It's gotta be so big that it just... done.

Kills me.

Lights out.

Cause if it just maims me, and I'm like, well then, how's that good for anyone?

Then I gotta find a nurse to smother me.

How am I gonna get across smothering if I'm...

We don't need to get caught up in the minutia.

I just thought that an adult.

So you should know.

Wow.

This is, uh...

a lot to take in, Nadine.

I...

I wish I knew what to say.

Well, I was actually just drafting my own suicide note just now.

Dear everybody, as some of you know, I have 32 fleeting

minutes of happiness per school day during lunch.

Which has been eaten up again and again by the same...

especially badly dressed student.

And I finally thought, you know what?

I would rather have the dark, empty nothingness.

I really would.

It sounds...

relaxing.

Have a nice life without me, fuckers.

You are so gonna get fired when I actually do it.

Well, not for sure, but I can dream.

Let me start from the beginning.

Around second grade, I had a realization.

There are two types of people in this world.

The people who radiate confidence and naturally excel at life.

Yes!

Yes!

And the people who hope all those people die in a big explosion.

All right.

Knock them dead, kiddo.

My brother Darien was a winner from day one and had about a million fans.

Bye!

His biggest one, my mother.

Bye, sweetheart.

Okay, boss lady.

See you tonight.

Nadine, we're not doing this again.

You promised.

Now get out of the car.

That's it.

You could say my mother and I weren't exactly peas in a pod.

No.

And the only one who could handle either of us was Dad.

Dad had a nearly impossible task.

Having to manage us both.

I know kids can be mean.

But if you get a chance...

I wish you were small.

Then I'd at least have one person to have lunch with.

Instead, the most attention I got at school was from these three.

Nobody likes you.

You suck and you're gonna get AIDS.

My childhood had become a raging dumpster fire and I couldn't take one more second

of this intolerable, unlivable nightmare about... Excuse me.

And then, out of the clear blue, an angel appeared.

Can you move, please?

She was dressed like a small, elderly gentleman.

And her breath smelled of sweet tarts.

You wanna hold him?

But don't squash him.

Hi, guy.

If you want, you could be his other mom with me.

Really?

I'm gonna be your other mom and take such good care of you.

I accidentally suffocated him two hours later in my pencil box.

But I had finally made my first friend.

We told each other things we never thought we'd say out loud.

Once my grandpa's pajama flat accidentally

came open and I saw a swing and got real sad.

My mom has to take medicine or she'll get upset and buy too much at the mall.

It's true.

It turned out Krista's life wasn't perfect either.

I'm walking away.

What am I, your mother?

Am I supposed to babysit you?

But we got each other through.

We can play with this.

We can play with Mr. Penguin.

For the next few years, everything was magic.

And then, some extremely fucked up shit happened.

Oh, my God.

I knew it.

It's really just the hair.

It's not that bad.

You can just grow it out.

Are you even up there?

Hey, move.

I gotta pee.

Darien, meanwhile, just got better looking.

And that asshole knew it.

That night, I picked up some cheeseburgers with my dad.

What do I have that's any good?

Tell me that.

What have I ever had?

Hey, you have a lot.

You have love.

You have my love.

Very soon, you're gonna have cheeseburgers.

Oh, look.

Did I not tell you?

Cheeseburgers?

You want a fry?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, hey.

That was Billy Joel.

You didn't turn past Billy Joel.

I might be as crazy as you say If I'm crazy, then it's true That it's all

because of you And you wouldn't want me any

other way You may be right I may be crazy Dad?

I'm not gonna depress you with the details.

So, let's just say the next few years were complete shit.

Oh, God.

Well, except for one part.

I had Krista.

This was last Friday.

Look at me.

I was in a good mood.

I love spoilers.

No.

Yes, I do.

That means you don't have to watch it.

Then I can just know and move on with my life.

I'll give you a hint.

I knew it.

I knew it.

They get varied.

Yes.

God, Juvie made him so hot.

Oh, God.

I forgot to tell you something.

He works at Petland now.

I should go in there and be like, excuse me, where are the betta fish?

And also, could you put your penis inside me?

Not you.

God.

What if you actually did that?

What if you actually lost your virginity in a Petland?

I think it'd be kind of nice.

All little tropical fish watching.

It'd be kind of spiritual.

God.

Could you please look at that stupid shirt my brother's wearing?

Oh, you can see his nipples.

How does he not realize that all that does is scream?

I have a buddy called Blood's Worse Than a Girl.

How much does it even work out now?

It's OCD.

You should have seen him.

He had a conniption, because my mom won't buy him

creatine anymore since it fucks up your kidneys.

I was like, I know, Darian, I know.

What has mom expected?

Win people over with your personality?

Hey, so, just a heads up, but yesterday when you were giving your lecture,

you were like, oh, blah, blah, blah, then the North seceded from the Union?

You meant to say the South seceded?

You accidentally said the exact opposite.

I didn't want to raise my hand and be like, oh,

excuse me, these kids are pretty confusable.

I just thought maybe you'd want to know.

Oh, hey.

Yeah?

Great catch.

Now, I know that it was a long lecture, and you probably don't recall,

but was there any point during it when you thought to yourself,

gosh, I wonder what it's like to actually have a life?

Nope.

No, I was too concentrated on how you were wrapping the whole thing up, so...

Well, I understand that, but just know that I haven't given up hope.

Not yet.

Okay.

Hey.

I like your sweatshirt today.

It's nice.

Thank you.

Where'd you get it?

The sweater.

Sweatshirt.

I... I don't know.

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

Julio.

Yep.

Yeah.

I don't know where that came from, but... What's his name?

Erwin Kim.

I don't know him.

Well, you friggin' love him.

He's adorable.

So you gonna hook up with him?

No, not like that.

Like, pathetic adorable.

Like, I want to carry him around in a baby bjorn.

I caught you.

I'm so glad.

Oh, do you like this dress?

Does it look bad?

I think it looks kind of bad, you know?

It's kind of poofy and... I don't know.

Do my arms look bad?

No?

Yeah, you don't sound very believable.

And you're making me nervous, Nadine.

Your upper arms are breathtaking.

Where are you going?

Well, it's last minute, but Brent called me.

The dentist one.

And he asked if I wanted to go to Manzanita for the weekend.

And I thought, you know what?

I deserve to be a little selfish once in a while.

So...

Is that one of the, um, Match.com guys?

Yeah.

You should go for as long as you want.

Very funny.

I'm gonna be back on Sunday.

Okay?

Just in time to surprise you.

Oh, I tried to call Darien, but he must be in his AP study group.

I'll tell him.

Be good.

What?

Dibs.

Dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs.

What are you even saying?

Oh, Mom's fucking a dentist in Manzanita for

two days, so I call dibs on the house, okay?

Bye!

You are so sick for saying it like that.

Mom's boobs are jangling around a dentist's face.

See it, Darian.

See Mom's titties all up in that dentist's face.

Let's go!

I

didn't know you got your mustache.

Look at my nose.

No way.

Where are you going?

Darian!

You need to get all these people out of the pool.

Excuse me, all of you need to leave.

Bye-bye!

Hey, no one's listening to you.

You said you weren't gonna drink until after soccer.

You failed.

Failure.

Dude, I'm not drinking.

It's orange juice, genius.

How drunk is she?

I've had one drink.

Okay, now you get your friends out of the pool.

No.

Okay, then I'm gonna call the cops.

Okay, yep, you're cut off now.

We're going upstairs.

Excuse me, I'm calling the cops.

Hey, you're retarded.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, I'm still dialing.

Hello, operator?

Yeah, um, can you please help me?

My brother's hurting me, my no-no.

Why am I so grotesque?

How do you even like me?

What's wrong with you?

Stop.

I don't even like me.

I heard my voice in a voicemail yesterday.

I was like, how could anyone stand listening to you?

Oh, you're just drunk right now, okay?

I hate my face.

I hate the way it looks when I talk or when I chew gum.

Don't ever let me chew gum, okay?

Don't let me chew gum.

I had the worst thought.

I gotta spend the rest of my life with myself.

Let's go to your room.

Don't you want to wake up in your bed tomorrow morning?

Don't you want to do that?

You don't want to sleep here.

Come on, Nadine.

Hey, is there any more aspirin anywhere?

Maybe.

Try that thing over there.

Hey, no, you don't have to.

No, it's cool.

It'll just go faster, so...

Alright.

So what happened?

Somebody let Baxter in and he pissed.

Hey, can you do me another quick favor?

Can you grab me those paper towels?

Cool, and just clean up all this dog urine?

You're right.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

What the fuck?

Just get out.

Get out of my room, man.

Just stop looking, man.

Just get out.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I swear I don't even know what happened.

I don't even know how it happened.

It was... I don't know.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

Just... just thinking.

Okay, I'll see you later.

Nadine, you can't just leave without saying anything.

Nadine!

Look, you're my best friend and I love you.

It wasn't your fault.

You disgust me.

That's nice.

Go grow yourself a wispy mustache, you

pervert, and stay away from my friends, okay?

Did you just say friends plural?

Your head is too big for your body.

It makes you look ridiculous and you'll never be able to fix it.

Mr. Murr.

I didn't have a chance to do homework last night because...

Well, I don't... I don't know if you know this, but my dad passed away.

It's just been really hard to do anything.

Date of passing?

Sorry?

When, uh... when did he die?

Um, 2011.

Ooh.

Yeah, I have a one-year expiration date on freebies for the dead and dying.

Are you serious?

There'll be other opportunities.

Your grandparents can't stick around forever.

Have a seat.

Okay, class.

The young Mr. Lincoln.

Uh-huh.

Enjoy.

How was your weekend?

Hmm?

It was... below average.

Yeah.

How was your weekend?

Oh, I, uh... I golfed.

Hmm.

Like, mini.

Like, mini, mini golf.

Like...

I don't know why I did that.

I'll pick that up.

Um, but, yeah.

Tim's Fun Park?

Yeah.

I love that place.

We should go sometime.

Yeah, we should.

But with, like, a group of people.

Like, with, like, several... people.

That's very nice.

Just us?

Like, just, just, just us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, our group.

Yeah.

Our group.

I think that'd be, I think that'd be good.

It'd be so much more fun, right?

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

Hey, I'm, I'm gonna catch up with you guys, eh?

All right, man.

See you later.

Hey.

Hi.

Look, I, I just, I wanna say that, um...

Hey, I'm your sister's friend.

And what happened the other night, you know?

It's... Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

It was just... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It was, it was all me.

It was...

It was...

Anyways.

Yeah.

Cool.

I, I'll see you... The house or... Around.

Cool.

Hey.

I had a really good time with you.

Me too.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Continue?

Okay, that was, that was weird.

That was a...

That was a weird thing to do.

What do you want me to do, Nadine?

I want you to think about how shitty this is for me.

I know.

What if I did this to you?

What if... what if I liked your dad?

What if I gave your dad a handjob?

Oh, Lewis, wow, you look so hot with that belt phone of yours.

Wow.

Oh, Christa, you're home early.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why do you even like him?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

Yes, you do.

Is it a girl thing that, like, you hooked up

with him so now you're emotionally attached?

No.

Are you... are you unconsciously mad at me, maybe?

And this is, like, some kind of revenge?

Are you unconsciously mad at yourself?

And this is some kind of self-punishment?

Because if that's what it is, then we can really...

Will you... will you stop talking?

Because you're driving me insane.

Please.

He invited me to a party on Friday.

And I want you to come with us.

Like, you're gonna go with him and I'm gonna tag along?

I'm gonna have to see if I'm right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey, look, maybe you guys can fuck on the lawn later.

Please rise above yourself, Nadine.

Please suck several dicks, Darian.

Hello.

Oh, hey.

I want you to meet some people.

What's up?

This is Christa.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Shannon.

You were in my chem class last year, right?

Yes.

Yes.

Um, nice to officially meet you.

Oh, my God.

I love your outfit.

It's so cute.

Oh!

Thank you very much.

Yeah, I love the lace on the neck.

Thank you.

Hey, do you want to play, uh, beer pong?

Yes.

I would love to play beer pong.

I don't really know a lot of people here, but... That's totally fine.

Like, you'll meet people.

It'll be a great icebreaker.

Sounds good.

Hi.

I think I'm gonna go play beer pong with them.

Okay.

Come on.

Yeah!

New player!

Over here!

God, just don't be so weird.

God why are you so awkward?

God, just have a good time.

Just relax.

Just relax.

Have a good time.

Go talk to people.

Okay.

Alright, great.

Yeah.

Perfect.

I'll do that.

School visitor?

Sit here.

Yeah.

You, uh, having fun?

Feeling pretty good.

I respect that.

Hey.

Aren't you Darian Franklin's sister?

Yep.

Do you watch TBS ever?

Sometimes.

There's this old movie that's always playing on there.

It's got Arnold Schwarzenegger and, uh, the little bald guy from It's Always Sunny.

Yeah, they play twin brothers, only Arnold's all tall and buff.

Yeah, yeah, and the other guy's, like, little and funny-looking.

Yes.

God, um... Twins!

Yes.

I love that movie.

So good.

Love that movie.

You and your brother kind of remind me of that.

Hi.

I need you to come pick me up.

How was it?

Uh, it was...

probably one of the worst nights of my life.

God, what a day that I had.

Sorry, I look like hell.

What happened?

So, the dentist...

I was home tonight having a relaxing glass of wine and I got an email from his wife.

I was about to call Dr. Hill, hysterical, but then I

thought, no, Mona, you're gonna do this on your own.

You've done everything.

Everything on your own since 2011.

You're gonna do this on your own, too.

God, I feel like such a loser.

You're not a loser.

I feel like one.

You're not a loser, Mom.

You're attractive.

You're good at decorating.

You're very diligent with your eyebrows.

Think about if it did work out.

Hey, did you floss today?

You know, gum disease is a silent killer, Mona.

You know what I'm gonna do tonight?

What?

I wanna go home, fix my hair, put on a beautiful face of makeup,

the best dress I own, then take it all off and go to sleep.

Fine.

Hey, Nick.

I sent you a friend request a while ago.

Maybe you just skipped over it.

Or sometimes there's a glitch.

Facebook doesn't send the email.

So I just thought that I'd...

uh...

inform you.

You're truly pathetic.

Hello?

Hey, uh, it's Nadine from History.

Um, you... what are you doing right now?

Oh, uh, hi.

I'm, uh... Hi.

I'm just a... hey.

Hi.

Hey.

You alright?

Yeah.

Cause I'm good.

I mean, you good?

You alright?

Great.

Cool?

You alright?

Yeah.

What's up?

Sorry, I keep talking.

It's just, I don't... how are you?

Are you good?

You alright?

Um, hey, so, Tim's theme park's open late tonight.

Do you wanna meet there?

So how come they canceled the party?

Oh, uh, by canceled, I more meant I left.

Ah, gotcha.

Thanks for driving, by the way.

I don't have a license cause I'm like, why not just have people drive you?

People make such a big deal about being able to do things for themselves.

That was a joke.

I failed the test.

Oh, oh!

Hello.

You can get that.

Uh, no.

It's cool.

Um, hey look, there's no line at the parasol.

So tell me something I don't know about you, Erwin.

I, uh... What are your hopes and dreams?

Take me on a tour of your psyche.

Geez, I don't know.

I guess I'm just your average guy, I guess.

Right, but if you had to expand for the two minutes that were on the right?

Right, um... What are your parents like?

Oh, uh, well, my dad... Wait, wait, wait.

Let's see if I can guess.

I wanna see if I'm psychic.

Sure, okay.

Okay, here it is.

Your mom gets on you about your grades and practicing your instrument.

She makes you great egg sandwich every year

as you're owning a small restaurant downtown.

Your dad, quiet, gruff, never really says, I love you.

Um, but with a stoic presence, you, you, I mean, you know he cares.

I'm really hoping none of that was racist, but now I'm thinking all of it was.

No, no, not racist at all.

No, you're good.

Yeah.

Whoa, what?

Oh my god.

I'm sorry, was that, was that bad timing?

Because I thought it was good timing because

you were on a ferris wheel and you're upset.

I'm just trying to comfort you.

That was weird.

We should probably get off.

We should get off.

Hey, excuse me.

Erwin.

Can we be let off?

Erwin.

Can we please?

Can we stop the fucking ride?

Can we just stop it?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to raise my voice.

Oh my god, Erwin.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Oh!

What?

You got it.

That was all, that was all you.

We got it.

We got it.

Holy crap.

Nobody saw that.

We're good.

We're out of here.

This has been a really fun night.

I'm sorry if I flipped out on you on the ferris wheel earlier.

No, my timing was just bizarre.

I'm going through a lot of shit right now.

It's a long story.

I'm sorry you're going through stuff.

You're a really great guy, Erwin.

Aww.

No, I'm serious.

I look at you and I just see this really, really, really old man.

Old?

I'm complimenting you.

I just, I see this very kind, very gentle, very wise old man.

In a convalescent home.

In a wheelchair.

Hmm.

Thank you.

I know you're mad at me because you think that I ditched you to play beer pong and.

I never, never said I was mad.

Okay.

Well, I know that you are.

And... Nadine.

Would you like to know an observation that I made this weekend?

Sure.

Oh my god, Shannon!

Your outfit!

It's so cute!

I love it!

Yeah.

Okay.

And you toss me aside?

The person who's had your back since second grade?

Who's been with you through everything?

You know what?

Fine.

Because chances are, those pricks, they're not going to give a shit about you

when Darian drops your ass for someone hotter.

You don't know anything, Nadine.

It's really shitty.

Here, I'm sorry.

It's going to happen.

No, I'm sorry.

It's not going to happen.

Because your brother just asked me to be his girlfriend into prom in May.

No.

Yeah, he did.

He just asked me that.

You can't.

You can't have both.

It's me or him.

Pick.

No, I'm... No, I'm not going to pick.

It's me or him.

Do you want him?

Nadine, Nadine, this isn't a choice.

Why can't you just say me?

Him or me now?

I'm not going to pick.

You know what?

Then we're done.

We're done.

Fine.

Nadine.

Nadine?

Hey, wake up.

You had a brain operation.

It worked.

They made you pleasant and agreeable.

Ah, just wishful daydreaming.

Hey, bell rang.

Leave, please.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

You know what?

Just ignore her.

She's... I'll call you later.

Bye.

I don't want to hear about it.

Work it out between yourselves.

A couple weeks, Dad will be dead.

Four years.

When I was on my way home today, this memory came back to me.

It was that night.

After everything happened,

I got up to go to the bathroom and I saw you crying so hard.

I mean, so hard.

Your pillow was just soaked.

It made me so sad.

I got up and I went in my room.

I got my...

my pillow.

Took the hot one for myself.

I wish you loved me that much.

Asshole.

No.

No.

Hey, you're so messed up for bringing up that story.

You're so messed up.

Man, do you even realize how sick in the head you are for bringing that up?

Oh, I'm sorry you feel guilty for never caring about anyone but yourself.

Oh, yeah.

No, that's exactly it.

Face it.

You're obsessed with yourself.

Oh, my God.

Your report card on the refrigerator like you're five years old.

You don't

even know what it feels like to love another human being.

Oh, man.

You are so dramatic.

Okay?

Hey, life isn't fair sometimes, Nadine, okay?

Get over it.

I swear to God.

I swear to God.

I'm gonna... Fuck you.

Stop it!

Stop it!

I already did.

Stop it!

Stop it!

What is the matter with you?

I...

I know what this is about.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Krista and Darian are a thing.

You guys think I don't know things, but I know things.

I'm leaving.

No, you're not.

Where are you going?

I'm taking a therapeutic walk.

Get back here!

Oh, God.

Darian.

Just don't worry about it.

Can I just ask you a question?

Is it worth turning the house into a war zone?

What am I supposed to say to that?

I'm just...

I'm just asking you the question.

I'm not turning it into a war zone, Mom.

She is.

Why don't you talk to her?

Because she doesn't listen to me.

You do.

You'll do the right thing.

I know you will.

I mean, look at that drink you're making.

You want one?

Oh.

What did I do to make such a perfect kid, huh?

Could you point me in the direction of the cat litter?

Uh...

Eight, I think.

You go to Lakewood, right?

Sometimes.

I've seen you around.

We've just never really talked.

Freshman.

Junior.

I... I don't really need the cat litter.

I just, um...

I don't even know why I said that.

I don't even have a cat.

I just know that they shit a bunch, so... I like your shoes.

Okay.

Look on the bright side, you know?

I mean, maybe they'll get married and then my best friend will be part of my family.

Helpful.

Thank you.

It really bothers me.

She's not giving you rides anymore, though.

No, you're not.

I can't drive you every morning.

It puts me on the freeway late and adds 40 minutes.

If you do that, I will do something equally terrible to you.

I will tell everyone on Facebook that you pluck your nipples.

How about that?

All right, look.

Just tell me what you want to hear and I'll say it.

Mom.

I want to make you feel better.

What can I say to do that?

I don't know.

Here's what I do when I'm feeling down.

I get very quiet and very still.

And I say to myself, everyone in the world is as miserable and empty as I am.

They're just better at pretending.

Try it sometime.

It might bring you some peace.

Hey, do you guys know where Erwin Kim is?

I guess he hangs out around here sometimes.

Yeah, he's working on his project for SFF.

SFF what?

The Student Film Festival.

Right.

Yeah.

SFF.

Hey, um, I gotta talk to you about some homework.

I didn't need to talk to you about homework.

I lied.

You enjoying my company?

You're a barrel of monkeys.

You never told me if you have a wife.

You should date my mother.

Her last boyfriend turned out to be an internet perv.

She's very, very fragile.

Oh, save me.

Men like that, right?

Because at the end of the day, they all want to be a hero.

Everyone just wants to feel important in life.

Thing is, no matter how important they are,

there's always going to be someone more important.

People get so uptight about that.

Oh no, they're better than me.

It's like, God, they don't realize important doesn't matter.

It's confidence.

The most confident person in the room wins every single time.

It doesn't matter if it's real.

It doesn't matter if they're pulling it straight out of their ass.

People are dumb.

They don't know the difference.

You know what?

I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to tell you

the real reason I'm having lunch with you today.

You see, I don't really have any friends at the moment.

And to be completely honest, I'm not interested.

At all.

My entire generation is a bunch of mouth breathers.

They literally have a seizure if you take their phone away for a second.

They can't communicate without emojis.

And they actually think that the world wants to know that they are eating a taco!

Exclamation point, smiley face, smiley face.

Like, we give a fuck.

I am an old soul.

I like old music and old movies and even old people.

Bottom line is I have nothing in common with the people out there.

Nothing in common with me.

Nadine?

Max?

Maybe.

Nobody likes you.

You're a dick.

Maybe nobody likes you, huh?

You know, you're always in a shit mood.

You're a really shitty teacher.

You put zero effort into everything you do

here and there's no way you're proud of that.

Look at you.

You do nothing.

Look at your hair.

You don't do your hair because you don't have any hair.

You're bald.

And you know what?

You're not married because bald men are gross and they're disgusting and

especially the ones that make $45,000 a year.

What?

I've been doing this 23 years and you're the

first person to ever underestimate my salary.

That made me feel good.

I mean, that part...

What are you doing?

Giving you half my cookie.

Why?

Make you feel better.

Jesus.

Guess what?

You're my favorite student.

Does that help?

Am I really your favorite student?

That felt like the right thing to say.

Yeah.

I didn't mean like completely bald, by the way.

It's smart what you do there, too.

You kind of, you know...

I don't know.

Do you poof it up a little bit?

Give a little zhoosh?

Glad you circled back around and cleaned that up.

It certainly made me feel better.

But our real competition is the hypno-toad.

No,

no.

Yeah, no.

I'm serious.

Practice these steps all the time.

Just give me need.

Don't you remember when you said what I wanted to hear.

I'm not so clever.

But I know it's real.

If I lived without you, I don't know if I'd ever care.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

I heard you were looking for me at lunch.

Yeah, I can't talk right now.

Oh, okay.

Hello?

Sorry.

I just took some medicine.

I'll call you after it kicks in.

Wait, what's wrong?

Are you sick?

No, I'm fine.

Medicine like an antidepressant they gave to me when my dad died.

I was only on them for a month, though.

People take them all the time.

Does that make you think I'm pathetic all of a sudden?

Oh, no, no.

I think you're perfectly fine.

Seriously.

Hey, do you have a swimming pool?

Yeah.

Can I come swim in it?

I know I could swim in mine.

I just know I wouldn't relax.

Yes.

I got towels.

We're good to go.

We're green.

We're good.

I'll text you the address.

Yeah, I'll see you in a little bit then.

Yes!

Hey.

Geez, Erwin, I would've been nicer to you.

Ah.

I wish my bathtub got this hot.

Why didn't you tell me you were rich?

I thought I did.

I always try to tell everyone.

What?

Well, you didn't tell me that you were in a film festival either.

You didn't tell me anything, Erwin.

Maybe it's because I couldn't get a word in.

Do I really talk that much?

Oh yeah.

I'm gonna drown myself now.

Goodbye.

Hey.

Thanks for letting me come over.

I'm glad you did.

Do you want to have sex right now?

Okay.

I'm just kidding.

I was just... I was just playing out the movie scene.

You ever feel like you have to do that?

I mean, come on.

There's a waterfall.

It's all romantic.

Sure.

Yeah.

Right.

I'm sorry.

I just...

Whatever.

What, are you mad now?

You can't be mad.

You were gonna have sex with me two seconds ago.

You don't say that stuff to a man.

Oh, a man, huh?

Erwin, come... What are you doing?

You're gonna press a button that sucks pee into the drain, aren't you?

Dig head.

You're such a dig head.

And everyone thinks everybody knows it, everyone but you.

You're a dig head.

I hope you'll soon be dead.

And this is payback time for what you put me through.

You're a dig head.

Everybody's fed.

I hope you like the song, so screw you.

So what's your film about, anyway?

Still figuring it out.

My drawing teacher asked a few of us to enter an animation project.

Oh, that's cool.

I didn't know you draw.

What kind of stuff?

Look at these.

Wow.

Damn, Erwin.

This is mostly unfinished.

Just doodling, mostly.

Not quite where I...

Oh, I think I found my favorite.

Yeah, my parents love that one, too.

Do they?

No, they don't.

They're very conservative.

Wow.

They're both you, right?

Yeah, I'm multi-faceted.

Rad self-portrait.

Man.

Wow.

Man, Erwin.

You're really good.

Do you want to come on Saturday to see the film?

It's early in the morning.

Super inconvenient.

So, I mean, I hope you say yes.

But it's just, you know, you can take time to think about it.

I don't expect an answer, like, right now.

I mean, because that would be rude.

That's a lot of pressure.

So, it's laying it out there.

Yeah, I'd love to come.

Oh, okay.

Are your parents going?

I could just sit with them.

My parents are in Korea for three months.

They won't make it.

Are you serious?

You've had this whole place to yourself for three months?

Yay.

No, I get it.

It's a big house.

You're bored.

You know what you need?

You need someone to rob you so you can reenact Home Alone.

That is...

That is exactly what I need.

Thank you.

You can't get out.

Can you just go around the block once?

I'm not going around the block.

We're here.

It's an inappropriate time.

Just... I have to be at work at 8.30, Nadine.

Oh, my God.

Are we really back to this?

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Thank you.

Can you... You can just leave her out of here.

No, no, no.

I'm going to work.

You're coming with me.

You know my boss isn't going to be happy about it.

And you're the one that gets to explain it to him.

Don't you have something to do?

Schoolwork or something?

Hmm?

Can I have this whole bunch?

Give that to me.

I want you to just sit there for the next eight hours

and don't touch anything and don't make any noise.

Can I, Mom?

You're not funny.

If my husband had any idea what I was going to have to deal with.

I love how you refer to him as your husband.

He is my husband.

You can run off and get a new husband.

What he is is my dad.

Can't you just say that occasionally?

Fine.

We're not talking about him right now.

Because it's just too upsetting.

Too hard and too sad and it gives me a cluster headache.

I know.

Oh, my God.

You have no compassion.

Actually, I'm just bored because I know

everything you're going to do before you do it.

Sure you do.

Oh, you don't believe me.

No, I don't.

I'm going to write down the next thing you're going to say to me.

I'm not going to play your little games, Nadine.

Congratulations.

All right.

You know what?

Here's something you're not going to guess.

Your dad would be so disappointed in the way you're turning out.

Did you just take my keys?

Nick, I'm just going to say it.

I like you.

I've liked you for months.

I think about you every second.

I don't know.

Maybe I even love you.

You're so complicated but simple.

And I just feel this connection between us.

I feel like I already know you.

And I just want to be with you.

I want to give you head.

I want you to put your mouth on my tits.

I want to feel you inside me.

We can do it in the Petland stockroom.

Nadine.

You sound like a fucking psychopath.

You can't send this.

What?

No.

Shh.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

No way.

No, no, no way.

No.

Fuck!

Oh my God.

Shit.

Take

up a ton of your time.

But I'm going to kill myself.

You're complicated and simple.

And I just feel this connection between us.

And I feel like I already know you.

This is kind of sweet.

I mean, I think you're over-reacting.

I just want to be with you.

I want to give you head.

I want you to put your mouth on my tits.

I want to feel you inside me.

We can do it in the Petland stockroom.

Say something.

Oh my God.

Can you do something?

Please, help me!

You need to watch out for run-on sentences.

But can't you just do something?

Can't you just do something?

You've got to be able to do something.

Come on, you...

I don't know, maybe confiscate his phone?

Um...

It's a computer.

You can maybe get his address.

If you get his address and you confiscate his phone, great.

Get his address, you give it to me.

I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna... Nadine.

Nadine.

Just take fifth period off, all right?

Try to relax.

Listen to some music.

Have a yogurt.

Maybe just...

Just take it easy.

Can you do that?

And if you have any... You know...

Complications...

Let me know.

Okay?

Don't worry.

It's gonna be okay.

Thank you.

Can I have some money for the yogurt?

I want change.

You've never given me one thing.

Anytime I ask you for anything, you're like...

Who is this?

Holy shit, oh my god.

Okay, calm down.

Just relax.

Sounds...

Cool.

Sounds cool.

Mm-hmm.

We've been waiting for you like a lonesome girl.

You've been waiting for me like a lonesome girl.

Can't you see it's so close this door?

But I'm awake.

You're in my heart.

You follow me to where...

And you're okay tonight.

Down there, I put down a bunch of notes.

You won't lie.

But you

follow me to where I go.

Baby, okay, I'm lying.

I'm

lying single, baby.

Lord, you don't need me.

Look into the sky.

I don't need saving.

But as soon as I forget you, days is out.

How many of those do you better, these assholes?

Please hurry the hell up and graduate.

Hey, one sec.

Oh, uh, tell Krista about the time when...

What?

Wait.

Slow down.

What do you mean?

Okay, Ma.

You calm down.

I did my best to pick you up.

I'm just saying, we could have been like...

Golden Boy is always the next step.

I'm gonna catch up with you guys later.

Are you kidding me?

It's a long story.

See you.

Hey, what happened?

It's fine.

It's not fine.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Hey.

You look cute.

It's so dirty over here.

Yeah.

Mom?

Hey, Mom.

What are you doing?

Just going to Goodwill.

All of it.

Everything that's on the floor, gone.

Mom, why don't you just calm down, okay?

No, I'm done putting up with it.

All of this?

Oh my God.

Can you believe it?

What is all this crap?

Please stop for a second.

She left her flat iron on.

She wants to burn the goddamn house down.

This is going...

Just give it to me.

Just give me the bag.

I am the adult here, not you.

Why do you always call me?

Oh my God, you're right.

I'm sorry.

I just

don't have anybody else.

You're the only one.

What are you doing?

I'm handling it.

Look at this view.

It's amazing.

I love this song.

It's really amazing.

I can't believe this is happening.

There's so much that I wanted to tell you and ask

you, and I just can't believe this is happening.

Oh wow, this just keeps going back, doesn't it?

I don't know if...

Off?

I don't know if I should... You should... No, get off!

Get off!

Get off!

Get off!

What the hell?

I really liked that song earlier.

What was the name of it again?

I don't remember.

I can just Google it.

Anyway, do you maybe want to go for a walk or something?

We could maybe catch a movie.

We could sit here silently in your Mercury Marquis all night.

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

What, now you're making fun of my car?

What?

No, I was just being specific.

I wasn't saying that because it's shitty.

No, God, no.

Look, I love your car, okay?

I don't even have a car.

I'm just acting weird and this is just all a lot.

Please stop.

Please don't leave.

Fuck!

What?

I don't understand you.

What?

What do you want?

What do you mean, what do I want?

What do you want?

To talk?

To get to know you, not just do it in the first five seconds.

You wrote me a novel about how you were dying to blow me in pet land, you psycho.

I'm not here to get to know you.

This is so stupid.

So stupid.

Why didn't I listen to my friends?

Oh, come on.

Come on.

Oh, now you're gonna try to make me the bad guy.

You're the one who messaged me.

I hope you hit a tree in this piece of shit.

I hope you get fucking paralyzed.

Let's go, lady.

Did you get a donut from these people?

No.

Why is that baby in your house?

Oh, shit.

How the hell did that thing get in here?

Hello.

This is Toby.

And this is Greer.

Hi.

How are you?

Nice to meet you.

Now, your mother's number.

And who's got the stinky feet?

Who's got the stinky feet?

Let me smell.

Hold on.

Oh, oh, oh.

Toby's got the stinky feet.

Toby's got the stinky feet.

Don't stare.

Make some self-conscious.

Can I get you something else?

Any ice cream or anything before I put the baby down?

I'm good, thank you.

No, no, I can feed and water her from here.

All right.

All right, come on, tiny man.

It's you and me, buddy.

Big boy.

Look, I just want to say I don't know the

whole story, but whatever it is, it'll pass.

I went through a rough time not too long ago, too.

But look where it led me.

This is the face of hope.

All right, good night.

I'll be in in a minute.

All right, good night.

Good night.

Say night-night.

Night-night, Daddy.

Night-night.

Well, I think that's for you.

Come on.

No, that's not my mother.

Don't open the door.

Hello there.

What are you doing here?

Get in the car.

Let's go.

No, Mom's picking me up.

No, she's not.

Get in the car.

Well, I don't feel like getting in the car with you and her.

Do you know what I've been doing all night?

I'll find another ride.

Hey.

Hey, get in the car.

Stop!

No, you think this is fun for me, huh?

No, you think I like this?

Where were you?

What, you can't pick up your phone even once?

You don't need to pretend to give a shit about me just because people are watching.

Oh, give me a break.

Oh, face it!

You can't wait to take me home so you can be Mom's little hero.

You live for that shit.

Just let it go.

Darian?

Darian?

Darian?

Hey, I just want you to know you're right, Nadine.

Everything.

I don't give a shit about you.

I'm only here for me, and my life is fucking incredible.

I love it.

No, I love spending another night talking Mom off the ledge.

I love only applying to schools nearby because who knows

what'll happen in that house if I'm not around to fix it.

And I love that the one person who makes me feel like I could take a fucking breath

I can't have without completely destroying you.

So you're right.

You're right.

It's a blast.

I win.

Hey, can you give her a ride home, please?

Thanks.

Look, I'm not very good at this kind of thing, uh, but I think we both know what

needs to be said right now, so I'm just gonna come right out and say it.

Get out of the car.

See you Monday.

I just, I just wanted to say, um, that I,

for being a bitch tonight,

for the past couple of weeks, and the past 17 years before that,

I know this isn't any easier for you, I know that.

I think sometimes the most deranged part of me

likes thinking I'm the only one with real problems.

Like, that makes me special.

You know, ever since we were little, I would get this feeling like,

like I'm floating outside of my body, looking down at myself.

And I hate what I see.

How I'm acting, the way I sound.

I don't know how to change it.

And I'm so scared that that feeling is never gonna go away.

I'm sorry.

Goodnight.

Hey, Nadine.

Hey.

Hey.

You're up early.

Uh, yeah.

I, um, got a thing to go to.

Yeah.

Well, have a good day.

You as well.

Have a good day, both of you.

Have a great day.

Thank you.

Can I call you later?

Okay.

That was good.

Right?

I miss her.

Sit back, relax, and get ready to enjoy the films.

Turn off your cell phone, please.

You look worn out.

I've just been distressed.

I got a meeting with the boss today.

Thank you so much.

No way.

I'm putting you guys in my pocket.

Classic Jean.

It was something, wasn't it?

Let's keep things going.

Our next entry, ladies and gentlemen, comes from Erwin Kim.

Woo!

Thank you.

Of Lakewood High.

Mr. Kim, would you like to come out and say a few words about your film?

Hello.

Thank you for coming.

Hope you enjoyed this.

You can just take this.

Thank you.

Woo!

Uh, okay.

Um, well, here it is.

Mr. Kim's film.

Once upon a time on a planet called Not Saturn at Alien Planet High School there

was an alien adolescent who was struck by love.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Mm.

Mm-mm.

Mm-mm.

Mm-mm.

Oh!

Oh!

Uh.

Blah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, hello.

Hey.

Oh, oh.

Erwin.

That...

no, it was amazing, really.

Oh, thanks.

And, uh, I got the message, all right?

I know, I know she's me.

But I already figured out how great you are.

You're so fucking great.

You're like the best person I know.

What?

Are you... what's wrong?

Um, the film wasn't about you.

Shoot.

I just... sorry, I thought maybe because the

hair and, like, the cool shoes that... Oh.

Wow, I'm one of those people that thinks everything is about them.

I'm just messing with you.

Yeah, I'm just messing with you.

I set that up.

You shithead.

You... We're pretty good.

You being nervous for once, and I'm just over here, like, just...

sleeping with flowers.

I hate you so much.

Free to hang?

I, um, cleared my whole schedule for you.

Oh, good.

Come on, let's add some people.

Dude.

Oh, yes.

Dude, he's so good.

Guys, this is Nadine.

Hi.

Hi.

How's it going?

Good, how are you?

Good, thanks, that was so good.

Yeah.

Seriously.

Yeah.

Yeah.