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Subtitles downloaded from https://kickasssubtitles.com
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00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,500
Ha ha ha ha ha! High-five!
3
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,200
Hnnh!
4
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,300
OK.
5
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,900
Two, three...
6
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,300
# A long-ass fucking time ago
in a town called Kickapoo #
7
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:33,200
# There lived a humble family,
religious through and through #
8
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,300
# But hey,
there was a black sheep #
9
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,800
# And he knew just what to do #
10
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,600
# His name was Young JB
and he refused to step in line #
11
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,400
# A vision he did see of
fucking rocking all the time #
12
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:49,900
# He wrote a tasty jam
and all the planets did align #
13
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,600
# Oh, the dragon's balls
were blazing #
14
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,700
# As I stepped into his cave #
15
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,800
# Then I sliced
his fucking cockles #
16
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,500
# With my long and shiny blade #
17
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:01,900
# 'Twas I who
fucked the dragon #
18
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,700
# Fucka lye, sing, fucka loo #
19
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,000
# And if you try
to fuck with me #
20
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:10,200
# Then I shall fuck you too #
21
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,500
# Gotta get it on
in the party zone #
22
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,100
# I gots to shoot a load
in the party zone #
23
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,500
# Gotta lick a toad
in the party zone #
24
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,800
# Gotta suck a choad
in the party zone #
25
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,500
Aaaah!
26
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,000
# You disobeyed my orders, son,
Why were you ever born? #
27
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,300
# Your brother's 10 times
better than you #
28
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:46,100
# Jesus loves him more #
29
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,800
# This music
that you've played for us #
30
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,600
# Comes from
the depths of hell #
31
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,400
# Rock & roll's
the Devil's work #
32
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,500
# He wants you to rebel #
33
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,200
# You'll become
a mindless puppet #
34
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,100
# Beelzebub
will pull the strings #
35
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,800
# Your heart
will lose direction #
36
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,500
# And chaos it will bring #
37
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,300
# You better shut your mouth,
you better watch your tone #
38
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,500
# You're grounded for a week
with no telephone #
39
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:13,800
# Don't let me hear you cry,
don't let me hear you moan #
40
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:17,200
# You gotta praise the Lord
when you're in my home #
41
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:27,000
# Dio, can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone #
42
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:29,100
# I'm asking for your guidance #
43
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,800
# Won't you come down
from your throne? #
44
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:36,700
# I need the tight compadre
who will teach me how to rock #
45
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:41,600
# My father thinks you're evil,
but, man, he can suck a cock #
46
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:46,600
# Rock is not the Devil's work,
it's magical and rad #
47
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:54,100
# I'll never rock as long as
I am stuck here with my dad #
48
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,700
# I hear you,
brave young Jables #
49
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,600
# You are hungry for the rock #
50
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,000
# But to learn
the ancient methods #
51
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,600
# Secret doors you must unlock #
52
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,300
# Escape your
father's clutches #
53
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,600
# And this oppressive
neighborhood #
54
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:15,600
# On a journey you must go
to find the land of Hollywood #
55
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:19,700
# In the city of fallen angels #
56
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:22,200
# Where the ocean
meets the sand #
57
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,900
# You will form
a strong alliance #
58
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:28,100
# And the world's
most awesome band #
59
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,500
# To find your
fame and fortune #
60
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,000
# Through the valley
you must walk #
61
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,700
# You will face your inner demons #
62
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:43,300
# Now go, my son, and rock! #
63
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:54,800
# So he bailed
from fucking Kickapoo #
64
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,400
# With hunger in his heart #
65
00:04:56,500 --> 00:05:00,100
# And he journeyed far and wide
to find the secrets of his art #
66
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:04,000
# But in the end he knew that
he would find his counterpart #
67
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:09,100
# Rock #
68
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:16,100
# Ro-o-o-ck #
69
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,900
# Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o #
70
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:23,600
# Hey-yeah-hey-yeah-hey-yeah-
yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-hey-yeah #
71
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,300
# Rock! #
72
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:12,700
# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #
73
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:16,300
# D, D, D, D #
74
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:19,100
# Oh, oh, oh, oh #
75
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,300
# Tenacious #
76
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,800
# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #
77
00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:01,100
# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #
78
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,100
# Tenacious D #
79
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:08,700
# Tenacious D,
Ten! Ten! Ten! Ten! #
80
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:13,000
# Ten is ten, is ten,
is ten, is-- #
81
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,300
This place is awesome.
82
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,300
Gold man. Ha ha ha!
83
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,600
Whoa!
84
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,000
Ohhh! Oh, man!
85
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,200
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
86
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,500
OK, that was
the best thing I have ever seen.
87
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,100
- Who are you?
- The name's Kyle Gass.
88
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,900
Kyle Gass.
89
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:03,700
Dude, will you just teach me
that one thing that you did?
90
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,300
Where you're like, playing--
91
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,500
I'm not giving
free guitar lessons today.
92
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,900
Why don't you stand over there?
93
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,700
Right here?
94
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,100
You're awesome.
95
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,700
This next piece
is by Johann Sebastian Bach--
96
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,100
- Watch this.
- And it's entitled...
97
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,600
Bourrée in E Minor.
98
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:21,100
Check this out,
this guy's insane.
99
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:29,900
Man, are you guys stupid.
100
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:33,100
Don't you know genius
when you see it?
101
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,600
Damn!
102
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,200
Anyway.
103
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:40,300
My name's JB.
104
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:41,900
My name's JB.
105
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,500
Just rolled into town.
106
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,800
- Would you give me some space?
- Yeah.
107
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,200
You're kinda cramping my style.
108
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,300
Oh, dude, I'm sorry.
109
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:50,700
And you're driving
away my crowd.
110
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:53,200
If you just move back,
like I asked you earlier...
111
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,600
I think things
are going to be a lot better.
112
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,600
- OK. Fine. Sorry.
- Thanks.
113
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,200
# Can't you see he's the man? #
114
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,100
# Let me hear you applaud #
115
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,600
# He's more than a man,
he's a shining golden god! #
116
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,700
# If you think #
117
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:06,900
# It's time to fucking rock #
118
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:09,000
# And fucking roll out of control #
119
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,900
# Well, then you know
you've got to rock the block #
120
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,100
# You fucking suck my fucking cock #
121
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:15,300
# 'Cause when you rule,
you fucking school #
122
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,500
# All of the fools
out of their jewels #
123
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,700
# 'Cause if you think it's time to,
if you think it's time to #
124
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:24,000
# If you think
it's time to fucking ro-ock #
125
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,100
# He is going #
126
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,800
# To kick your fucking ass #
127
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,400
# And you know
his name is Kyle Gass #
128
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,700
# Rocking and fucking rolling #
129
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,000
# And fucking rocking
and fucking rolling #
130
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,800
# And fucking
rip-rip-dip-diddley-diddley #
131
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,300
# Rip-rip-dip-diddley-diddley
dip, dip #
132
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,600
# Be-dop-bop-bop,
be-dop-bop-bop #
133
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,600
# Be-dop-bop-bop,
be-dop-bop-bop-boo! #
134
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:44,200
# Bip-bip-bip-biddle-biddle-boo,
bip-bip-bip-biddle-biddle-boo #
135
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:47,000
# Boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo! #
136
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,600
# Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-baah!
Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop #
137
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,500
# Bip, bip, bip, bip,
bip, bip, bip, bip #
138
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,600
# Bip, bip, bip, bip-be-doo! #
139
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,300
Yeah!
140
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,100
Dudes!
141
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,900
That was bad-ass.
142
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,400
You guys are like electric dynamite.
143
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,800
What's the name of your band?
144
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:12,100
We're not a band. They calls
me KG Solo Man Five Thousand...
145
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,400
and I aims to keep it that way.
146
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,800
- Aah!
- I'm outta here.
147
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,000
This place is tapped.
148
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,300
Jeez Louise, papa cheese.
149
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,500
I know. It's OK.
150
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,300
It's just part of his genius.
151
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:49,500
# Well, I can't get
to sleep tonight #
152
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:55,600
# No matter how hard I try #
153
00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:00,800
# 'Cause it's cold
and it's dark #
154
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:05,200
# And the moon cannot light
the way #
155
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,100
# And Daddy's gone #
156
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:21,600
# I'm just a baby #
157
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,600
# Aaah-hah-hah-hah #
158
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,100
Well. What do we 'ave 'ere?
159
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,200
My little snuggles.
160
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,600
- Ha ha ha!
- I spy a stinking, filthy fag!
161
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,300
Snivelling, boo-hoo-hoo!
162
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,000
Like a wee baby!
163
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,700
Ha ha ha!
164
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:55,400
He does look like a fucking baby.
165
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,800
Oh! Ha ha. Wee baby.
166
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,800
Listen, fellas. I don't
wanna fight. So if you don't...
167
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:03,700
Aaaah!
168
00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:06,400
Look at this. What is it?
169
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,300
Needs a popping, my brother.
170
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,600
- Ooh!
- Hey, no. Give me that back.
171
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:10,800
That's my lucky guitar pick.
172
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,900
That's my lucky guitar pick. Ow!
173
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,500
Ah! Argh! Ow!
174
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,100
Ha ha ha!
175
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,300
Hey! Okay! Let's go!
176
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,600
Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Ha ha ha!
177
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,500
Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha!
178
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,800
Ohh...
179
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,600
That's right, run.
180
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:47,200
Unless you want
some more of this! Aah!
181
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:51,600
You saved me.
182
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:54,200
Aah, that's all right.
183
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,400
They had it coming.
184
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,500
How can I repay you?
185
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,300
We'll work something out.
186
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,200
This place is futuristic.
187
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,800
Yeah, this is my pad, here.
Number four.
188
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,700
Not hard to remember.
Just think, "My door is four."
189
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:34,000
Pretty cool.
190
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,400
Wow. Nice pad.
191
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,800
You got this place all to yourself?
192
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,900
Yeah. I try to keep it simple.
193
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:44,400
This is where I stay when I write.
194
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,400
It's quite, uh, minimalist.
195
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,300
I don't like anything to get in
the way of my creative juices.
196
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:50,300
Cool.
197
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,200
I'm working on my solo album
right now.
198
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,400
Aaah.
199
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,100
Yeah, Kyle Gass Project.
200
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,200
It's got some pretty, uh,
breakthrough shit on it.
201
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,200
Trying to keep it
on the hush-hush, though.
202
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,400
Man, if you need a singer,
I am so there.
203
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:05,400
Check it out.
204
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,200
# Ride the tiger! #
205
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,900
# You can see his stripes
but you know he's clean #
206
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,800
It's a Ronnie James Dio song.
207
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,300
Yeah. I know.
208
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,000
I helped write it.
209
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,300
I jam with him all the time.
210
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,000
No way!
211
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,500
- You do not know Dio!
- Sure.
212
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,900
I know all the dudes
from Sabbath.
213
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:30,000
- Dude?
- Mm?
214
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:34,900
Is there any way that
maybe I could audition...
215
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,600
to be in the Kyle Gass Project?
216
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,900
Hm. Maybe.
217
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,600
Oh ho ho ho!
218
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,800
You gotta get your chops up,
though...
219
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:44,300
if you wanna shred
with the big dogs, son.
220
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,400
You got a lot to learn.
221
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,200
Will you teach me your ways?
222
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,700
I will teach you.
223
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,400
Go ahead and sleep
on the power couch.
224
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,100
Your training begins tomorrow.
225
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,600
At the crack of noon!
226
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,000
Um--
227
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,600
# It could have been disaster #
228
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,600
# Till the pupil found his master #
229
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:08,100
# Something rhymes with master #
230
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:10,100
# He's teaching
him in the ways of rock #
231
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,100
Lesson number one.
232
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,000
Power slide.
233
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:18,300
# Aaaah #
234
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,400
It's just slidin' on your knees.
235
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,600
Is it?
236
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:26,700
Or is it the single
most powerful stage move...
237
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,400
in any rocker's arsenal?
238
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,500
Oh.
239
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,100
Gimme a power slide.
Full throttle.
240
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,800
No fear.
241
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,700
I'll give you a power slide.
242
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:46,100
- How'd that feel?
- Really good.
243
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,800
How did it look?
244
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,300
Amazing...
245
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,700
...ly bad.
246
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,600
# Doo-doo-doo-
mm-doodle-diddum-doo-doo #
247
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,300
# I'm cleaning this apartment #
248
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:59,000
# 'Cause it's gonna
help me, maybe #
249
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,700
# Get into
the Kyle Gass Project #
250
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:04,500
# Roodle-oodle-doo,
roodle-oodle doo #
251
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,300
# Roodle-oodle-doo-doo-doo #
252
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,400
Hey, what's this check
for 200 bucks?
253
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,900
Oh, gimme that.
254
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,500
That's a royalty check.
255
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,600
Why's it say,
"I love you, pumpkin" on it?
256
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,900
Well, um, it's the name
of a song.
257
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,300
Big hit in Canada.
258
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,100
Get back to work.
259
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,500
Whoa, check out that superfox!
260
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,200
Do you think you can
handle a woman like that?
261
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,900
I think so.
262
00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:36,800
Well, you'd better know so...
263
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,100
'cause there's gonna be
ten times hotter ones...
264
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,900
backstage at the Kyle Gass Project.
265
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,300
Really?
266
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:44,700
Sex is a crucial component
to the Kyle Gass Project.
267
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,300
Now drop
and give me one cock push-up.
268
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,600
What's a cock push-up?
269
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,700
What's a cock push-up?
270
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:54,000
A cock push-up, my friend, is
where you lay on your stomach...
271
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,500
and lift yourself off the ground
with nuthin' but your boner.
272
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,500
No problem.
273
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,400
The cock is a muscle.
274
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,700
You gotta learn how to flex it.
275
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,900
From now on, I want you to do
one cock push-up a day...
276
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:09,200
every day.
277
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:12,200
- It hurts my cock.
- Keep at it. You never know...
278
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,800
when you'll need to fuck your way
out of a tight situation.
279
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,000
Whoo!
280
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:18,200
# Ding-ding-a-ding-
ding-a-ding-ding-ding #
281
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,900
# His fingers move
with blinding speed #
282
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,500
# Within my mind
he'll plant the seed #
283
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:27,300
# I'm proud to be
amongst his learned flock #
284
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,700
# He teaches me #
285
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:32,400
# Beseeches me #
286
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,200
# And when I've learned
all of his lessons #
287
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:41,800
# Then I'll know the
ancient secrets of his rock #
288
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:46,500
Aaah.
289
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,400
Yeah.
290
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,200
Oh oh oh, yeah!
291
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,400
I fucking did it!
292
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:55,000
Oh, I did it!
293
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,400
Hey. Dude, you reached KG.
294
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,200
You know what to do. Uhhh.
295
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,200
Dude, pick up.
296
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,700
Dude, it's Jables. Pick up, man.
297
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,400
- Yeah.
- Yeah! Ha ha ha!
298
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,200
I did it, man. Check it out.
299
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,500
You hear that?
300
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,000
The training is working, man.
301
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,700
I made ten whole bucks
with my rock!
302
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,700
Good. Go score me a dime bag.
303
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,100
A what?
304
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,000
Ten dollars' worth of weed.
305
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,800
Now, listen.
Go down to Wake & Bake Pizza...
306
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,700
Ask for Jojo.
307
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,800
Tell him you want
the Bob Marley extra crispy.
308
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:34,900
He'll know
what you're talking about.
309
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:36,500
All right, dude. Roger that.
310
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,200
One extra crispy coming up!
311
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:42,700
Stone Age man
now had the muscle power...
312
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:47,500
and mental power necessary
to evolve to new heights.
313
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,000
He then found the means
to harness...
314
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:52,900
an even greater energy source.
315
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,100
The animals and creatures around him.
316
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,100
Hmm.
317
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,600
Animal power would give him the food...
318
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:06,700
and transportation, the clothing
and entertainment...
319
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,900
- needed for his long journey.
- Dude, turn it to Channel 14.
320
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,900
In Search of Sasquatch is on.
321
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:19,400
When you are able to snatch
this remote from my hand...
322
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,000
you will be ready to choose
the channels we watch.
323
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:24,900
Try to snatch it.
324
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,700
Aah, fuck!
325
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:43,200
Patience, young grass smoker.
Patience.
326
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,900
Welcome to the gig simulator.
327
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,400
If you pass this test,
your training is complete.
328
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,200
You will be ready to audition
for the KGP.
329
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,300
The what?
330
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,900
Kyle Gass Project?
331
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:57,200
Oh, right, right.
332
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000
Hold on.
333
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,200
Aaah.
334
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,500
Here's your 'za. That'll be 15.50.
335
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,400
- Cool.
- Hey.
336
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,000
Aren't you the guitar guy
from the boardwalk?
337
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,200
- Yeah.
- I'm Lee.
338
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,900
- Kage.
- Whoa!
339
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:18,100
You guys puttin' on a concert?
Can I watch?
340
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,200
- Half off the pie?
- Dealio.
341
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,700
Right on. Come on in.
342
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,200
Hu...
343
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:33,600
Um...I don't know
if that's such a good idea, KG.
344
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,400
Uh, I'd rather not do this
in front of strangers.
345
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,400
What do you think
it's going to be like...
346
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,000
when we play the Coliseum?
347
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,200
No strangers allowed?
348
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,900
OK.
349
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,200
Let the simulation begin.
350
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,100
Uh--Ha ha. All right.
351
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,900
So, should I sing a song?
352
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,600
Hey, sing something, douchebag!
353
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,700
OK.
354
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,400
You know what? I wanna start
off--offstage and come out...
355
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,100
'cause that's the way
I like, imagine it.
356
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,500
Just--just come
in from the wings.
357
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,500
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Kyle Gass Project!
358
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,100
Aaah!
359
00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:15,200
Hey, what's up? I'm JB
from the Kyle Gass Project.
360
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,300
Get on with it, dumb shit.
361
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,200
All right, Kage,
let's do it, man. Two, three.
362
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:24,300
# The Kyle Gass a-Project
is a-out of control! #
363
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,300
# All right! #
364
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,300
Get off the stage,
you stupid dillweed.
365
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,300
# He'd turn me to a diamond
from a piece of coal #
366
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,300
# Yeah yeah yeah #
367
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,500
Boo!
368
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:46,500
Boo! Boo!
369
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,100
Boooo!
370
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,700
Go back to Kickapoo,
you fat-ass momma's boy!
371
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,400
Boo!
372
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,400
# You're teaching me
the secrets of the pumpkin patch #
373
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,800
- Boo!
- Ow! Aah!
374
00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:00,000
- Boo!
- Urgh.
375
00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:01,700
Hey, that's really...
376
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:06,900
- Hey! You suck!
- You suck! Suck! Suck!
377
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,800
Jesus. You call that music?
378
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,600
You're nothing but a mistake.
379
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,500
I should have worn a condom.
380
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,600
I was not a mistake.
381
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,400
Power slide.
382
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:24,300
Aaagh! Aaah, aaah!
383
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,500
- He's had enough. Turn it off.
- Aagh. Aaaah!
384
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,300
Lights!
385
00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:32,000
- Oooh.
- Hey, hey, it's OK.
386
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:35,000
- I suck!
- You don't suck.
387
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,900
I broke my guitar!
388
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:38,100
Monster mash!
389
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:41,100
Nobody passes the gig simulator
on the first time.
390
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,500
Not even this guy.
391
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,500
You didn't?
392
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,700
But then you did pass it later?
393
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:51,200
I passed later, but, you know,
took me a couple of tries.
394
00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:54,100
- Oh, you did? I was doing...
- You know you can do it.
395
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,500
- It was going pretty good.
- Right.
396
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,500
Until I got--until I got to the--
397
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:58,800
When I messed up on that thing.
398
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,900
Let's clean this place up.
What do you say?
399
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:04,300
And then we'll do bongloads
and play Maximum Overthruster.
400
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,100
- Hey, dude, it's KG.
- Do some bongloads?
401
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,600
You know what to do. Uhhh.
402
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,800
Hi, pumpkin. It's your mother.
403
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,700
Your father and I have decided...
404
00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:17,000
that 15 years of trying to be a famous
musician is long enough.
405
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,700
So I'm sorry to say...
406
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,500
we aren't going to be sending
you any more rent checks.
407
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:21,900
It's time to get a real job.
408
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,600
I love you, pumpki--
409
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,100
"I love you, pumpkin"?
410
00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:32,400
Those weren't royalty checks.
411
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,500
I can't believe this machine, it's--
412
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,300
Let's watch TV, you wanna?
413
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,300
You lied to me.
414
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,400
- You don't know Dio.
- Hey!
415
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:52,100
I think that In Search
of Sasquatch is on.
416
00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,300
- Hold on.
- Give me that fucking remote.
417
00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,600
No! Leave it!
418
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,700
No!
419
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,800
Aaah!
420
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,400
- Ohhh!
- Aaah!
421
00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:05,900
Who are you?
422
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,000
Here's your lunch, pumpkin.
423
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,900
Thanks, Mom.
424
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,100
Oh! Mwah!
425
00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:14,200
I love you, pumpkin.
426
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:25,100
- Hey, pumpkin!
- Ha ha ha!
427
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,300
Hah! What's with the hat, dude?
428
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,200
Your mom sew that for you?
Ha ha ha!
429
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,900
Ha ha ha!
430
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,400
- Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
- Oh, my God!
431
00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:37,600
Your mom shine that for you
when you go to bed?
432
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,900
- Cue ball!
- Science experiment gone wrong!
433
00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:43,700
- Freakazoid!
- Ha ha ha!
434
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,200
I'm fucking outta here.
435
00:24:54,100 --> 00:24:55,500
Don't walk away from me!
436
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,200
I fucking cleaned your apartment, man.
437
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,100
What are you doin'?
438
00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:05,000
Why are you packing?
439
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,400
I have to go back to my mom and dad's.
440
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,200
I'm broke.
441
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,800
I already spent the last rent check.
442
00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:16,200
Oh, you fucking dick!
443
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,500
What'd you spend the money on? Huh?
444
00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:21,000
An official professor bullshit degree?
445
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,100
What'd you spend the rent on?
446
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:33,500
I got that for you.
447
00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:34,100
Stop packing, dude.
448
00:26:34,100 --> 00:26:36,900
We're gonna pay the rent...
449
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,900
with our rock.
450
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,600
- We are?
- Yeah.
451
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,100
But we're not gonna be called
the Kyle Gass Project.
452
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:46,800
From now on...
453
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,400
we will be known as Tenac.
454
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,400
Tenac?
455
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,100
What's that?
456
00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:56,400
It's a sign.
457
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:58,100
A legacy.
458
00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:05,900
I've had this birthmark since I was born.
459
00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:09,100
I looked it up in the dictionary.
460
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:12,800
It's not in there.
461
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,200
I never knew what the hell it meant.
462
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,700
Till now.
463
00:27:17,700 --> 00:27:20,000
It's the name of our fuckin' band, dude.
464
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,300
I have ass-mark too.
465
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:33,300
You guys!
466
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,000
Look!
467
00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:45,900
# Whoa! #
468
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,800
# They must pay the rent #
469
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,200
# With their rock #
470
00:27:55,300 --> 00:28:05,000
# Oh-ohhhh, oh, oh #
471
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,900
But thaaaaat's my life.
472
00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:17,300
All right.
473
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,700
Neil Hamburger,
everybody, Neil Hamburger.
474
00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:22,700
Funny stuff.
475
00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:25,500
Uh, the next band
asked me to read this.
476
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,200
"Since the beginning of time...
477
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:32,500
"'twas written in the stones
that one day, a band would come.
478
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,100
"Well, that band has come...
479
00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:37,700
"and now they're here
to come again...
480
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,300
"in your ear-pussies."
481
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,800
Ladies and gentlemen,
Tenacious D.
482
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,200
That was awesome,
the way you read that.
483
00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:49,500
Kage. Kage?
484
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,700
Don't forget
to fucking bring the thunder.
485
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:51,900
- OK.
- Hey, what's up?
486
00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:53,200
- OK.
- Hey, what's up?
487
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,300
We're Tenacious D
and this is our first concert ever...
488
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,600
so it's kinda historical.
489
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,600
And, um, we wrote this song that
gives you a little taste...
490
00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:00,900
of, like, the history of the band.
491
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,200
Let's fucking do it, Kage, go!
492
00:29:02,300 --> 00:29:05,700
This is a song called
The History Of Tenacious D.
493
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:06,700
And it's not just
a list of bullshit...
494
00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:07,800
that we've done in the past.
495
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,600
It's a chronicling of our rise.
496
00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:10,900
To power!
497
00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:13,700
# We ride with kings
on mighty steeds #
498
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,500
# Across the Devil's plain #
499
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:18,200
# We've walked
with Jesus and his cross #
500
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:20,000
# He did not die in vain #
501
00:29:20,100 --> 00:29:21,700
# No! #
502
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,200
# We've run with wolves,
we've climbed K2 #
503
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,400
# We even stopped a moving train #
504
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,800
# We've traveled through
space and time, my friends #
505
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:33,500
# To rock this house again #
506
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,100
# Rock! #
507
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,600
# We ride and we ride
we'll never subside #
508
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,400
# We'll ride
till the planets collide #
509
00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:45,100
# And if you say that
we do not ride #
510
00:29:45,100 --> 00:29:47,300
# I'll tan your fucking hide #
511
00:29:47,300 --> 00:29:49,000
# Ride! #
512
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,100
# Kyle's fingers be silver #
513
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,500
# Jack's voice then be gold #
514
00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:56,600
# But lest you think we're vain #
515
00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:58,900
# We know you're all robots
and we don't care #
516
00:29:58,900 --> 00:30:00,400
# Tenacious D #
517
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,300
# We reign! #
518
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,600
# We reign #
519
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:08,800
# Supreme, oh God! #
520
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,200
# Burrito supreme #
521
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,400
# And a chicken supreme #
522
00:30:13,500 --> 00:30:16,100
# And a Cutlass Supreme #
523
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,700
# Supreme, yeah #
524
00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:22,200
# Gonna count one, two, three #
525
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,800
# Supreme, yeah #
526
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,000
# Gonna count one, two, three #
527
00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:32,100
# Supre--ee--eme #
528
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,400
# Gonna count one, two, three #
529
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:36,200
# Burrito supreme #
530
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,500
# And a chicken supreme #
531
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,800
# And a Cutlass Supreme #
532
00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:42,900
# Supreme! #
533
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,500
Yeah!
534
00:30:45,500 --> 00:30:47,200
Let's go!
535
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,700
Ha ha ha!
536
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,000
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
537
00:30:54,100 --> 00:30:55,400
You guys, wait for me outside.
538
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,600
I'm gonna go talk to the big cheese.
539
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,700
Good call.
540
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,600
So?
541
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,200
What'd you think?
542
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:05,900
It was OK.
543
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,400
- It was OK?
- Mm-hm.
544
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,600
You were OK. We were kick-ass.
545
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:10,900
And we're gonna totally win
that money next week...
546
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,600
at the open mic contest.
547
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,600
Well, good luck.
548
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,100
You know there's a lot
of stiff competition, so...
549
00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:20,800
you might wanna think about
writing some new material.
550
00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:27,200
That was amazing. You guys
changed people's lives tonight.
551
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,000
I know, we were so awesome.
552
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,800
Yeah, it was awesome.
Compared to bullshit.
553
00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:33,400
But compared to the greats?
554
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:37,300
To Zeppelin? To the Beatles?
To fucking Beethoven?
555
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,300
True. We were kick-ass.
556
00:31:40,300 --> 00:31:42,800
But if the D's gonna
win that prize money...
557
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:45,700
we're gonna have to write
a fucking masterpiece!
558
00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:47,900
Are you with me?
559
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:49,400
Totally.
560
00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:50,900
Power hug.
561
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,400
Masterpiece.
562
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,400
# A masterpiece, a masterpiece #
563
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:11,200
# They've got to write a masterpiece
to pay the rent #
564
00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:14,900
Do it!
565
00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:16,300
All right,
no more fucking around.
566
00:32:16,300 --> 00:32:18,500
Masterpiece is right in there.
567
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,200
All we have to do is step
into that magic circle...
568
00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:21,700
and the masterpiece is ours.
569
00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:23,000
Are you ready?
570
00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:24,300
Are you ready
to write a fucking masterpiece?
571
00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:25,400
- 'Cause I sure the fuck am.
- Yeah!
572
00:32:25,500 --> 00:32:28,000
Let's go!
573
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,400
What are you doing?
Go. Go. Play something.
574
00:32:29,500 --> 00:32:31,500
Go fast. The magic only lasts a second.
575
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,400
No, don't play fast.
I said start fast.
576
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:34,900
But keep going, yes.
577
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,100
Try to make it prettier.
Prettier, prettier. Prettier.
578
00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:38,700
Stop judging yourself,
you're judging yourself.
579
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:39,900
That's why that riff sucks.
580
00:32:39,900 --> 00:32:42,700
No fucking mental blocks.
Release the...
581
00:32:42,700 --> 00:32:44,100
# Chi #
582
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,500
That's all right.
583
00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:47,000
Now, can you play a little
higher, higher, higher up?
584
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,500
Higher notes, higher notes,
higher notes, higher notes.
585
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:52,000
Higher notes, higher notes,
can you play any higher notes?
586
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,200
Sorry, I didn't mean to yell.
587
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:54,600
I'm not looking for anything specific...
588
00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:56,300
but that's definitely
the wrong part of the cosmos.
589
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,800
I want it over here, in the
newer, hotter part. Like--
590
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,400
# Molten lava! #
591
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,900
# That's the thing,
keep playing that riff #
592
00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:07,300
# Because we gotta
get it on tonight, aah #
593
00:33:07,300 --> 00:33:08,800
What are you doing?
Were we recording?
594
00:33:08,900 --> 00:33:10,500
Press record. Press record.
595
00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,300
Oh, God damn it, it's too late!
596
00:33:12,300 --> 00:33:14,100
- Aah. Fu--
- God damn it, Kyle, we had it.
597
00:33:14,100 --> 00:33:16,900
We were right there in it
and you were too slow.
598
00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:19,600
You didn't remember to do shit,
you didn't do what I told you...
599
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,600
and things got crossed,
chakras were fucking exploded.
600
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:23,800
If we're gonna do this thing right...
601
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,500
you gotta do what I tell you to do!
602
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,200
Daaah! Fa-gaah!
603
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:30,800
I wanna write a masterpiece.
604
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,100
I know, dude. So do I.
605
00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:39,800
It's all right.
606
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,100
We've got writers' block,
it happens to the best of 'em.
607
00:33:43,100 --> 00:33:45,200
I mean, look at these guys.
608
00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:47,800
AC/DC. Van Halen.
609
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,500
The Who!
610
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:52,200
Why are you guys so awesome?
611
00:33:52,300 --> 00:33:54,500
What do you have
that we don't have?
612
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,700
Well, they all use
the same guitar pick.
613
00:33:59,100 --> 00:34:01,200
What?
614
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:11,200
Looks like they all use
the same guitar pick.
615
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,700
Holy shitballs.
616
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:27,800
Too many picks.
617
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,400
Let's see.
618
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:34,600
I don't think they have it.
619
00:34:34,700 --> 00:34:36,900
Let's talk to the dude. We might
have to special order it.
620
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:40,300
Marcus, I need a price check
on Ernie Ball amp caster stat.
621
00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:41,800
Just be a second.
622
00:34:41,900 --> 00:34:43,100
Can I help you gentlemen?
623
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,300
Yeah, we're looking for
a guitar pick like this one.
624
00:34:53,100 --> 00:34:55,500
How'd you hear about this?
625
00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:56,900
What did Papardello tell you?
626
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,900
Uh--Ahem. We just noticed
that all these musicians...
627
00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:03,900
are using the same guitar pick--
628
00:35:03,900 --> 00:35:04,900
Okay ka-ssh!
629
00:35:09,700 --> 00:35:14,100
Jerry, do me a favor, uh, ring up
these amp casters for me.
630
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:15,800
Thank you, my man.
631
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:22,900
In here.
632
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,100
We can talk in here.
633
00:35:33,100 --> 00:35:35,400
What you seek...
634
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:37,200
is the Pick...
635
00:35:38,900 --> 00:35:40,300
of Destiny.
636
00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:44,500
I think there's
a light switch back here.
637
00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:46,500
No, dude, you don't...
638
00:35:48,300 --> 00:35:50,400
Grab a seat.
639
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,400
You two bozos
don't even realize it...
640
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:53,800
but you just stumbled onto...
641
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,700
the darkest secret
in the history of rock.
642
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:57,700
Go on.
643
00:35:57,700 --> 00:36:00,100
I actually saw it once.
644
00:36:00,100 --> 00:36:01,800
I used to be a guitar tech.
645
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,400
So one night, I'm working a gig
up in New Jersey or something.
646
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:05,800
Some real mediocre band.
647
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,000
Lead guitarist comes out,
starts shredding licks...
648
00:36:08,100 --> 00:36:09,900
way beyond his capabilities.
649
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,800
Like shit that had to be
coming from somewhere else.
650
00:36:11,900 --> 00:36:13,900
I noticed he was using a new pick.
651
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:16,600
Weird-looking thing with horns on it.
652
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,500
Made of green ivory, or some shit.
653
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,900
It was the pick, it wasn't him.
654
00:36:21,900 --> 00:36:23,200
He didn't know what he had, though.
655
00:36:23,300 --> 00:36:25,100
End of the show, he flicks it
back into the audience.
656
00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:27,800
Some kid catches it.
657
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,600
Kid named Eddie.
658
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:30,600
Eddie?
659
00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:32,200
Van Halen!
660
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:33,900
Whoa.
661
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,200
So I started researching it.
662
00:36:36,300 --> 00:36:40,200
Turns out this thing goes deeper
than I could have imagined.
663
00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:42,200
Way deeper.
664
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,900
Back to the Dark Ages.
665
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,300
I moved to Rome. Quit my job.
666
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:48,800
Learned Latin.
667
00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:51,600
I gained the trust of the
night librarian at the Vatican.
668
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,700
A gentleman named
Salvatore Papardello.
669
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,900
He turned me on to some shit
that you wouldn't believe.
670
00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:58,000
Check this out.
671
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,100
It's an ancient scroll.
672
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,800
All in Latin.
673
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,500
I translated it. Took me six years.
674
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,900
Why didn't you just get a translator?
675
00:37:06,900 --> 00:37:09,300
And let him read it too?
676
00:37:12,100 --> 00:37:14,500
Listen to this.
677
00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:17,800
Long ago, a dark wizard
used his black magic...
678
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,200
to summon Satan himself.
679
00:37:20,300 --> 00:37:22,100
Satanus.
680
00:37:22,100 --> 00:37:23,900
That's Latin for Satan.
681
00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:25,800
A horrific battle ensued.
682
00:37:25,900 --> 00:37:28,600
But the great demon
was far too powerful.
683
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,600
Snakes!
684
00:37:30,700 --> 00:37:33,200
Finish me, foul beast!
685
00:37:33,300 --> 00:37:36,000
Luckily, a blacksmith
heard the beast's roars.
686
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:38,300
No!
687
00:37:39,100 --> 00:37:40,400
Ow!
688
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,900
Fuck! You chipped my tooth.
689
00:37:42,900 --> 00:37:44,300
I'm not complete.
690
00:37:44,300 --> 00:37:47,600
Venisti remanebis
donec denuo completus sis.
691
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,100
What does that mean?
692
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,600
From whence you came
you shall remain...
693
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,900
until you are complete again.
694
00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:58,300
Fuck you! No!
695
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,400
No! I'm not complete!
696
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,700
The demon was drawn back
into the fires of hell...
697
00:38:03,700 --> 00:38:07,600
and the dark wizard
was totally stoked to be alive.
698
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,900
With a long draw on his hash pipe...
699
00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:12,900
the wizard devised a way
to repay the blacksmith.
700
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,200
The blacksmith loved a fair maiden.
701
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,500
To gain her affection, he would
need a true master skill...
702
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:21,100
that would leave the maiden
moist and wanting.
703
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,400
And so the wizard fashioned
the demon's tooth...
704
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,400
into a pick that would make
the blacksmith play...
705
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,400
only the most masterful
of melodies on his lute...
706
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:36,000
thereby winning the heart
of the maiden he loved.
707
00:38:37,300 --> 00:38:40,500
The secret of the pick died
with that blacksmith.
708
00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:41,800
And then...poof!
709
00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:45,100
All of a sudden it reappears
in the American South...
710
00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:47,600
at the turn of the century,
in Robert Johnson's fingers.
711
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,100
Spawns the birth of the blues.
And rock & roll.
712
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:51,300
Of course.
713
00:38:51,300 --> 00:38:53,500
The pick is a tiny part
of the beast...
714
00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:55,800
so it has
supranatural qualities.
715
00:38:55,900 --> 00:38:59,100
- Supernatural?
- No, supra-natural.
716
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,600
That's like
a whole other level above super.
717
00:39:02,700 --> 00:39:04,300
Where is it now?
718
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,300
That's the last known photo
of the pick.
719
00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:10,700
That guitar was sold at auction.
720
00:39:10,700 --> 00:39:14,000
It now resides in the
Rock & Roll History Museum.
721
00:39:15,300 --> 00:39:17,300
That's where the POD is too.
722
00:39:17,300 --> 00:39:20,400
- The POD?
- The Pick of Destiny.
723
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:21,900
Oh.
724
00:39:21,900 --> 00:39:24,100
Why didn't you just go get it?
725
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,200
The Rock & Roll History Museum
is an impenetrable fortress.
726
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,700
You two bozos wanna steal
the Pick of Destiny...
727
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,100
count me out.
728
00:39:33,100 --> 00:39:35,200
I already went down
that rabbit hole once.
729
00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:37,300
And I got news for you.
730
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,700
There's no cheese at
the end of that tunnel, buddy.
731
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,300
All right, get outta here.
I told you enough already.
732
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:45,200
C'mon, get outta here.
733
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,200
Man, I don't know what to say.
734
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:48,900
Shh.
735
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000
Just get outta my store.
736
00:39:53,700 --> 00:39:55,400
The Quest!
737
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:06,000
Oh, my God! You guys!
What are you doin' here?
738
00:40:06,100 --> 00:40:08,100
- Come on in!
- Actually, we can't stay.
739
00:40:08,100 --> 00:40:09,500
We were hopin'
you'd do us a favor.
740
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,800
Anything you need, man.
741
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,500
- Do you think it would be OK--
- We need your car.
742
00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:16,500
Oh.
743
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,700
Um, well,
kinda need it for work.
744
00:40:19,700 --> 00:40:21,000
Listen, man.
745
00:40:21,100 --> 00:40:23,900
We've got a meeting
with the hugest president...
746
00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:26,500
of the most massive
record company in the business.
747
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,900
We need to meet him
in Sacramento tonight.
748
00:40:28,900 --> 00:40:30,300
Oh.
749
00:40:30,300 --> 00:40:32,100
Uh--
750
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:33,900
Well--
751
00:40:33,900 --> 00:40:35,200
All right.
752
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,800
Hey, what's up with this pedal?
753
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,200
That's my extra brake.
754
00:40:38,300 --> 00:40:41,000
I'm a pizza delivery guy
and a driving instructor.
755
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,900
I teach people how to drive
while I deliver 'zas.
756
00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:45,900
Ha ha ha! Good thinkin', man.
757
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:47,900
Later.
758
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,800
Knock 'em dead
at the meeting, you guys.
759
00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:01,100
I can't stop thinkin'
about that fuckin' pick.
760
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,800
You heard the guy. It's Satan's tooth.
761
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,300
When we get that thing...
762
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:06,900
we're gonna win
that fuckin' prize money...
763
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,900
then we're gonna
dominate the world of rock.
764
00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:13,700
We're gonna be unstoppable, man.
765
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,400
Hmmm...
766
00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:18,500
Unstoppable.
767
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:22,300
Unstoppable.
768
00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:24,500
Unstoppable.
769
00:41:24,500 --> 00:41:27,800
This, uh, next band
asked me not to read this...
770
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:32,800
but, God damn it,
I'm going to read it anyway...
771
00:41:32,900 --> 00:41:34,500
because I wrote it...
772
00:41:34,500 --> 00:41:36,800
and it's the truth.
773
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,700
"I fucking love this band!"
774
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,500
They are the best band ever, period!
775
00:41:44,500 --> 00:41:50,600
Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D!
776
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:57,600
Hey, what's up?
777
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:01,600
Me and KG wrote this song
five minutes ago.
778
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,400
It's called Master Exploder.
779
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:29,100
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh #
780
00:42:29,100 --> 00:42:36,800
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh yeah! #
781
00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:41,500
- # I do not need #
-# He does not need #
782
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,900
- # A microphone #
-# A microphone #
783
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,400
- # My voice is fucking #
-# Fucking #
784
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,700
# Powerful #
785
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:59,700
# Ahh, yeah! #
786
00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:18,800
# Ah, ahh, yeah! #
787
00:43:20,300 --> 00:43:21,300
Sorry.
788
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,300
- # I did not mean #
-# He did not mean #
789
00:43:26,300 --> 00:43:29,800
- # To blow your mind #
-# To blow your mind #
790
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:40,000
# But that shit happens to me
all the ti-i-i-ime #
791
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,600
- # Now, take a look #
-# Take a look #
792
00:44:01,700 --> 00:44:04,700
- # Tell me what you see #
-# What you see #
793
00:44:04,700 --> 00:44:13,600
# We got the Pick of Destiny--y--y #
794
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:21,900
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh yeah! #
795
00:44:25,300 --> 00:44:27,100
Woah!
796
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:36,200
JB! JB! JB! JB!
797
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:41,400
JB! JB! JB! JB! JB!
798
00:44:41,500 --> 00:44:43,400
- JB! JB! JB!
- JB. JB. JB.
799
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,500
- JB! JB! JB!
- JB. JB. JB.
800
00:44:45,500 --> 00:44:47,800
JB, wake up. JB, wake up!
801
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:51,800
Let's chow down, dude.
802
00:44:51,900 --> 00:44:53,600
- I'm starving.
- OK.
803
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,100
You guys know what you want?
804
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,600
Hmm.
805
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,400
What do you recommend?
806
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,300
I recommend
that you order some food.
807
00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:22,900
OK.
808
00:45:22,900 --> 00:45:28,600
Uh--Lemme have
the fried chicken and a steak...
809
00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:30,700
and the chicken-fried steak.
810
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,800
Hello.
811
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,400
Um--What happened to your eye?
812
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,300
I burned it with a curling iron.
813
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,300
I'll have one small glass
of carrot juice.
814
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:45,600
Yeah, we don't have that here.
815
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:47,400
Then I will have nothing.
816
00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:49,100
Great.
817
00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:55,100
- Dude, what's the matter?
- Dude?
818
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:56,900
Aren't you hungry?
You should eat somethin'.
819
00:45:56,900 --> 00:45:59,300
No. I never eat before a mission.
820
00:45:59,300 --> 00:46:00,800
It slows you down.
821
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,300
I gotta be light on my feet
like a dancer.
822
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,200
Like a fuckin' ninja, dude.
823
00:46:05,300 --> 00:46:06,300
Now check this out.
824
00:46:06,300 --> 00:46:08,100
I'm gonna jump this fence here.
825
00:46:08,100 --> 00:46:09,600
OK? Like a gazelle.
826
00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:12,100
Then you come around
that fuckin' bend.
827
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,700
God! Damn it, Kyle!
828
00:46:14,700 --> 00:46:16,600
If we're gonna do this,
you gotta stay focused.
829
00:46:16,700 --> 00:46:18,500
Eye of le tigre!
830
00:46:18,500 --> 00:46:19,600
Now check it out.
831
00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:22,800
You give me a fuckin' boost,
He-Man style.
832
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,200
And then we're gonna fuckin' do
a little mini-tiger roll...
833
00:46:25,300 --> 00:46:26,400
- And come on back.
- Oh, my God. Stop it!
834
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,000
I fuckin' pull your shit up.
835
00:46:28,100 --> 00:46:30,400
Dude, hold on. That's good stuff.
836
00:46:35,700 --> 00:46:38,200
You're right, he's coming over here.
837
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,000
- Oh!
- Fuckin' dick squeezer.
838
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,800
Aaah!
839
00:47:06,500 --> 00:47:08,100
Uh--
840
00:47:15,100 --> 00:47:16,800
Hey...
841
00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:20,100
buddy.
842
00:47:20,100 --> 00:47:22,900
Heh heh heh.
843
00:47:22,900 --> 00:47:26,700
So, uh, what, uh, brings you...
844
00:47:26,700 --> 00:47:29,500
to this neck of the woods?
845
00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:32,300
Um--Ahem. We're just
on a little business trip.
846
00:47:32,300 --> 00:47:34,100
Mm.
847
00:47:34,100 --> 00:47:36,600
Are you, uh, going to, uh...
848
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,700
check out
the Rock & Roll History Museum?
849
00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:42,300
- The Rock & Roll what?
- History Museum.
850
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:43,700
Oh, no. I don't even know
what you're talkin' about.
851
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,700
You just seem like
Rock & Roll types to me.
852
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:49,300
- Ha ha!
- Yeah, well, we're not.
853
00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:51,300
We're just
two fuckin' businessmen...
854
00:47:51,300 --> 00:47:52,900
on our way
to see some shit in Sacramento.
855
00:47:52,900 --> 00:47:55,200
- So, sorry.
- Hmm. Yes. Yes.
856
00:47:55,300 --> 00:47:57,800
I was just asking because...
857
00:47:57,900 --> 00:48:01,300
I noticed the guitars
in the back seat of your car.
858
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,800
Yeah, well, I said,
we're fuckin' businessmen.
859
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,700
We sell guitars. So what?
Big deal. End of story.
860
00:48:05,700 --> 00:48:07,000
Check, please!
861
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,300
You're sure you aren't planning...
862
00:48:08,300 --> 00:48:11,100
on breaking into
the Rock & Roll History Museum?
863
00:48:11,100 --> 00:48:13,200
Hey, gimme that back, man!
864
00:48:16,100 --> 00:48:17,800
Yeah, my buddy and I are in a band.
865
00:48:17,900 --> 00:48:20,600
I don't like to say the name,
but uh, we had some hits...
866
00:48:20,700 --> 00:48:22,500
And so, uh, they're inductin' us...
867
00:48:22,500 --> 00:48:25,000
into the Rock & Roll History Museum.
868
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,900
- No way!
- Aaah.
869
00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:28,300
Way.
870
00:48:28,300 --> 00:48:30,400
Oh, my God. We're sitting
with someone famous?
871
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:31,900
Ah, we're just regular guys.
872
00:48:31,900 --> 00:48:35,900
I mean, uh,
we're just flesh and...bone.
873
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,900
Let's just say you are planning...
874
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,600
on breaking into
the Rock & Roll History Museum.
875
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:57,600
Maybe you are inexperienced...
876
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:01,700
and you get inside
and cry like little girl.
877
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:05,400
Maybe you don't have
what it takes to get the job done.
878
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:11,200
'Scuse me.
879
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,100
Man, God!
880
00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:23,400
Yeah. Damn.
881
00:49:37,700 --> 00:49:44,800
I was thinking maybe there
was something in that museum...
882
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,000
you had a desire for.
883
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:51,100
Maybe--
884
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:52,800
Pick of Destiny!
885
00:49:58,100 --> 00:50:01,300
Our sorority is throwing
a huge bash tonight.
886
00:50:01,300 --> 00:50:03,400
You guys should totally come...
887
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:05,000
and play some
of your songs at the party.
888
00:50:05,100 --> 00:50:07,300
We're just getting ready
to head over there right now.
889
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:09,300
Why don't you follow us over?
890
00:50:09,300 --> 00:50:11,100
You know what?
891
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:12,400
That sounds rad.
892
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,500
We don't usually play private parties...
893
00:50:14,500 --> 00:50:18,800
but I think we can make
some dreams come true tonight.
894
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,600
Hee hee hee hee!
895
00:50:20,700 --> 00:50:22,100
I'll ride along with you.
896
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:23,900
So you don't get lost.
897
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:29,500
I tried to get
the Pick of Destiny once.
898
00:50:29,500 --> 00:50:32,800
I had it in my hands, too.
899
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:36,200
But I was caught. Set off a laser.
900
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,300
Security door came down on my leg.
901
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:41,400
- Cut it right off.
- Ooh.
902
00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:45,400
I would break in again
if I still had my leg.
903
00:50:47,900 --> 00:50:50,900
My leg. Oh, man.
904
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:55,100
I miss that sweet-ass leg of mine.
905
00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:57,500
Why are you telling me this?
906
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:05,200
I like you. I see the spark
in your eye that I once had.
907
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:07,200
Let me show you something.
908
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,600
These are my plans.
They will help you, I promise.
909
00:51:12,700 --> 00:51:15,400
There are two air ducts on the roof.
910
00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:17,700
You must enter through there.
911
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:19,500
Speak of this to no one!
912
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:22,300
Wait.
913
00:51:22,300 --> 00:51:24,000
Wait, I have some questions.
914
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,300
Let me wipe.
915
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:26,400
Hold up, dude.
916
00:51:32,100 --> 00:51:35,400
Dude. I got some smokin' bettys
over there...
917
00:51:35,500 --> 00:51:36,800
and they want us to play a gig.
918
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:39,900
No. I just had the weirdest
conversation of my life.
919
00:51:39,900 --> 00:51:42,400
This guy just gave me
the perfect plan.
920
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:43,900
Now, look.
921
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:47,400
There's two air ducts on the roof.
922
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:50,500
Dude. The party?
923
00:51:50,500 --> 00:51:52,200
Gettin' to play our own tunes?
924
00:51:52,300 --> 00:51:56,600
That blonde over there wants
to ride my wrinklestick, yo.
925
00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:59,300
Would you get your head out of
the fuckin' pussy-clouds, man?
926
00:51:59,300 --> 00:52:01,000
Who cares about these chicks?
927
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:03,100
There's gonna be ten times
hotter babes backstage...
928
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,100
when we win album of the year.
929
00:52:05,100 --> 00:52:07,600
This pick is our ticket to genius.
930
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:11,500
Dude. I can't believe you'd
pass by a gig opportunity...
931
00:52:11,500 --> 00:52:13,100
with some sweet-ass hotties--
932
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:14,300
What, for this?
933
00:52:14,300 --> 00:52:16,700
Is this really
that important to you? Huh?
934
00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:19,200
We can still write a masterpiece
and win that dough.
935
00:52:19,300 --> 00:52:20,900
Maybe it would be better for the D...
936
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,000
if we worked on our songwriting...
937
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,200
instead of relying on ancient bullshit, but--
938
00:52:25,300 --> 00:52:26,800
probably won't work anyway.
939
00:52:28,300 --> 00:52:30,000
What's it gonna be, Kyle?
940
00:52:30,100 --> 00:52:31,800
You have to decide.
941
00:52:32,700 --> 00:52:35,900
Tits or destiny?
942
00:52:39,100 --> 00:52:40,700
Tits.
943
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:51,000
So, good luck, buddy.
944
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,000
I hope it was worth it,
because we're done.
945
00:52:53,100 --> 00:52:54,400
You ruined it. Pick's mine.
946
00:52:54,500 --> 00:52:56,400
Fuck you. I don't fuckin' need you.
947
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,800
Later, cock-ass!
948
00:53:03,300 --> 00:53:05,400
Uh, don't mind him. He--
949
00:53:05,500 --> 00:53:07,000
He's my butler.
950
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,800
Had to let him go for loafin'.
951
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:10,200
He--he'll--he'll be fine.
952
00:53:10,300 --> 00:53:14,000
Excuse me, um, are you gonna
charge us for all the refills?
953
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,500
No, you're so pretty,
you get everything for free.
954
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:23,200
Well, that's a really good deal.
955
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:30,800
# Ohhh, ahhh, whoa, why? #
956
00:53:30,900 --> 00:53:31,900
# Woo! #
957
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,700
It's just a five-mile walk.
958
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,400
I can walk that.
I don't need a car.
959
00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,600
I'll take the fuckin' shoelace express.
960
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,100
Aaaah!
961
00:53:40,100 --> 00:53:42,400
- Woo!
- Fuck you!
962
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,600
# I want you, Jyne #
963
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:53,100
# All the time #
964
00:53:53,100 --> 00:53:54,500
# I want you, Jyne #
965
00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:58,700
- Where we goin'?
-# I want you, Jyne #
966
00:53:58,700 --> 00:54:01,900
# Gonna make you mine #
967
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,700
# Tonight #
968
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:06,700
Stop. Stop the music.
969
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:11,000
Everybody, we have got
a special surprise tonight.
970
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,700
We have brought with us someone...
971
00:54:13,700 --> 00:54:16,700
who just happens to be a rock star!
972
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:18,700
Whoo!
973
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:21,400
That's in town to be conducted...
974
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:25,100
into the Rock & Roll History Museum.
975
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:26,900
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
976
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:30,800
And he promised to come here tonight...
977
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,700
and play us a few of his hits.
978
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:35,400
- Oh--
- So...
979
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,300
- You know--
- Let's give it up!
980
00:54:37,300 --> 00:54:39,600
- Whoo!
- I don't have a guitar.
981
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,800
I don't have my gui--
I don't have a guitar.
982
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:43,700
- All right!
- Whoo!
983
00:54:43,700 --> 00:54:46,100
- All right, come on!
- Um--
984
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,400
This is a song, um--
985
00:54:50,500 --> 00:54:52,000
I wrote with my partner.
986
00:54:52,700 --> 00:54:54,700
My f--former partner.
987
00:54:54,700 --> 00:54:57,400
And, uh, it's called
The History Of Tenacious D.
988
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:59,400
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
989
00:54:59,500 --> 00:55:02,100
- Nice!
- Yeah!
990
00:55:08,300 --> 00:55:10,600
# Across the Devil's plain #
991
00:55:10,700 --> 00:55:11,900
Huh?
992
00:55:12,900 --> 00:55:15,300
# He did not die in vain, no #
993
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,100
- That sucked.
- Yeah.
994
00:55:17,100 --> 00:55:19,900
# I want you, Jyne #
995
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:21,600
- # Need it all the time #
- Ha ha ha!
996
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,800
- That sucked.
-# I want you, Jyne #
997
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:25,700
# Oh, girl, you're so divine #
998
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:27,600
# I want you, Jyne #
999
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,000
One more and that's it.
1000
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:39,700
Aah.
1001
00:55:41,100 --> 00:55:42,700
It's a good thing
I found these mushrooms.
1002
00:55:42,700 --> 00:55:45,000
I was fucking starving.
1003
00:55:45,100 --> 00:55:47,800
Mmm. Mm.
1004
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:49,500
Aah.
1005
00:55:52,500 --> 00:55:54,500
This place is kinda...
1006
00:55:57,900 --> 00:55:59,600
juicy.
1007
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:05,500
Zzzzzhing!
1008
00:56:19,100 --> 00:56:21,000
Ha ha ha!
1009
00:56:28,900 --> 00:56:30,700
Hee hee!
1010
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,800
Oh, my God! Sasquatch!
1011
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,100
Aaaaah!
1012
00:56:44,100 --> 00:56:47,100
Jables! What's up?
1013
00:56:47,100 --> 00:56:48,400
Ho ho ho!
1014
00:56:48,500 --> 00:56:51,000
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1015
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:54,200
What are you doin' out here?
1016
00:56:54,300 --> 00:56:56,700
I was just walkin'
in your beautiful forest.
1017
00:56:56,700 --> 00:56:59,900
Oh, it's not my fowest, bwother.
1018
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,100
It's evewyone's.
1019
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:03,800
You're so fuckin' awesome.
1020
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,700
I love yoooou!
1021
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:08,600
I love you too, JB.
1022
00:57:08,700 --> 00:57:11,100
You're a awesome rocker.
Ha ha ha!
1023
00:57:11,100 --> 00:57:13,200
Whoo!
1024
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:15,700
- Let's pway!
- Ha ha ha!
1025
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:18,400
Aaaaah!
1026
00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:21,300
Aaaaah-oooh!
1027
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:22,800
That's good.
1028
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,000
- Let's go on a adventure.
- Yeah!
1029
00:57:25,100 --> 00:57:28,300
I got lots to show you.
1030
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,600
Can I be a Sasquatch too?
1031
00:57:31,900 --> 00:57:34,400
You alweady are.
1032
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,900
You're my son, JB.
1033
00:57:36,900 --> 00:57:39,100
My widdle baby Sass.
1034
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:41,200
# La-la-lai-la #
1035
00:57:41,300 --> 00:57:43,600
# La, la, la-la-la-la-la-la #
1036
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:44,600
Oh!
1037
00:57:44,700 --> 00:57:47,300
Let's take a dip
in the stwawberry wiver!
1038
00:57:47,300 --> 00:57:49,100
- Yay!
- Come on!
1039
00:57:49,100 --> 00:57:50,100
Oooh!
1040
00:57:50,100 --> 00:57:51,800
# Let's go #
1041
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:58,200
Ohhhh! Yeah. This is fun.
1042
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,200
Ohhhhh!
1043
00:58:01,300 --> 00:58:04,900
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
1044
00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:07,100
Good times.
1045
00:58:07,100 --> 00:58:08,400
- This is fun.
- Good times.
1046
00:58:08,500 --> 00:58:11,000
This is--This is super fun!
1047
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,000
Ha ha ha!
1048
00:58:17,100 --> 00:58:19,100
Ohhh!
1049
00:58:19,100 --> 00:58:21,000
Ha ha! Daddy, look. Look.
1050
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:22,400
It's stuck to my butt.
1051
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,900
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1052
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,000
Shake your tushie, it'll fall off.
1053
00:58:28,100 --> 00:58:30,200
- Aah!
- Oh!
1054
00:58:30,300 --> 00:58:32,600
Let's get wid of these.
1055
00:58:34,700 --> 00:58:36,700
- Ah!
-# Ooh, la-la-la, ooh #
1056
00:58:36,700 --> 00:58:39,300
- Time to fly.
- Yeah.
1057
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:42,500
- Whee.
- Ha ha ha! Whee!
1058
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:46,400
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
1059
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:46,500
- Hee hee! Hee hee hee!
- We're flying!
1060
00:58:46,500 --> 00:58:50,300
- Hee hee! Hee hee hee!
- We're flying!
1061
00:58:50,300 --> 00:58:52,700
- We're flying!
- Hold on, boy!
1062
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:54,900
# Found where the Sasquatch hide #
1063
00:58:54,900 --> 00:58:56,900
# In the misty mountainside #
1064
00:58:56,900 --> 00:59:01,500
# He's got shiny diamonds
that he's got to protect #
1065
00:59:01,500 --> 00:59:03,800
# Look into the Sasquatch eye #
1066
00:59:03,900 --> 00:59:05,700
# Then you know
that Sass can fly #
1067
00:59:05,700 --> 00:59:10,500
# Sasquatch is my daddy
and he's going to protect me! #
1068
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,300
# Half man and half machine #
1069
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,400
# On the cover of a magazine #
1070
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:19,100
# Bigfoot is my father
and he's got to protect me! #
1071
00:59:19,100 --> 00:59:21,000
# These lyrics don't make sense #
1072
00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:22,700
# Think I've found the evidence #
1073
00:59:22,700 --> 00:59:26,800
# That yeti is my papa
and he wants to protect-- #
1074
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:28,500
# Me! #
1075
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,500
Do you know where
I can find the Pick of Destiny?
1076
00:59:32,500 --> 00:59:35,900
Sure! It's right over there!
1077
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:37,500
Oh! Let's get it!
1078
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,800
I can get it if I surf on your--
1079
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:43,500
Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!
1080
00:59:44,700 --> 00:59:46,600
Aaaaah! Sweet baby!
1081
00:59:47,700 --> 00:59:52,100
Oh! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!
1082
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:53,600
Ow!
1083
00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:57,200
Oh, God!
1084
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:00,300
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
1085
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:02,600
Oh! Oh, God.
1086
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,400
Oh, God.
1087
01:00:07,500 --> 01:00:09,600
Where the fuck am I?
1088
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,100
Yeah, you motherfucker.
1089
01:00:14,100 --> 01:00:15,300
I'm gonna get that son--
1090
01:00:31,500 --> 01:00:34,300
# Dude, I totally miss you #
1091
01:00:34,300 --> 01:00:36,700
# I really fuckin' miss you #
1092
01:00:36,700 --> 01:00:40,500
# I'm all alone all the time #
1093
01:00:40,500 --> 01:00:42,300
# All the time #
1094
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:44,900
# Dude, I totally miss you #
1095
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,700
# The things we did together #
1096
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:52,700
# Where have you gone? #
1097
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:57,600
# Totally miss the honesty
and special times #
1098
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:03,200
# And honestly I totally miss
the fucked up thing you do #
1099
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,900
# Dude, I totally miss you #
1100
01:01:07,900 --> 01:01:10,100
# I totally miss you #
1101
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:14,900
# Dude, I totally miss you
all the time #
1102
01:01:16,900 --> 01:01:21,300
# Aaaah #
1103
01:01:22,700 --> 01:01:26,900
# Aaaah #
1104
01:01:29,700 --> 01:01:32,500
# Aaaah-aaaah-aaaah #
1105
01:01:32,500 --> 01:01:37,100
- # Aaaah, I totally aaaah you #
- Ha ha ha!
1106
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:38,600
Did you see that?
1107
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:40,400
- That was awesome.
-# Dude, I totally miss you #
1108
01:01:40,500 --> 01:01:43,100
- That was great.
-# I totally miss you #
1109
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:48,500
# Dude, I totally miss you
all the time #
1110
01:01:50,700 --> 01:01:55,300
# All the t-i-i-ime #
1111
01:02:07,300 --> 01:02:08,800
# The mission is clear #
1112
01:02:08,900 --> 01:02:10,200
# I'm goin' over there #
1113
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,900
# I'm goin' to do the mission #
1114
01:02:12,900 --> 01:02:15,700
# I'm going to flip around the corner
flat as a pancake #
1115
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:18,400
# And then l--Oh, no, the camera! #
1116
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:20,900
# Stay back here, devise a plan #
1117
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:24,600
# Dive into the bushes #
1118
01:02:24,700 --> 01:02:27,000
# Against all odds #
1119
01:02:27,100 --> 01:02:30,500
# Infiltrate, storm the gate! #
1120
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:32,800
# Storm the gate! #
1121
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:35,400
- # Ninja style, Samurai #
-# Storm the gate! #
1122
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:38,500
- # Metal pole, climb that shit #
-# Storm the gate! #
1123
01:02:38,500 --> 01:02:40,900
# Climb into that motherfucker #
1124
01:02:40,900 --> 01:02:43,400
# Now I'm climbin' up, up on a roof #
1125
01:02:43,500 --> 01:02:46,900
# I've got catlike reflexes, flip-- #
1126
01:02:46,900 --> 01:02:48,100
- ...me, I elbow him--
- One guy?
1127
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:49,200
He's tryin' to punch me in the neck.
1128
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:50,900
- Yeah.
- I look down...
1129
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,300
and there's two guys goin',
"I'm--We're gonna punch you."
1130
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,800
So they're punchin' up at me...
1131
01:02:54,900 --> 01:02:57,000
I got both elbows down like this.
1132
01:02:57,100 --> 01:02:58,200
Pull both their hair...
1133
01:02:58,300 --> 01:03:00,100
and I made them both
poke each other's eyes out.
1134
01:03:00,100 --> 01:03:02,000
So they're both blind,
there's blood everywhere--
1135
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:05,100
# Against all odds #
1136
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:07,600
# Infiltrate, oh, storm the gate! #
1137
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:09,600
What the fuck?
1138
01:03:12,900 --> 01:03:15,600
# Two air vents on the roof #
1139
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:18,400
# That's what the guy was talkin' a--shit! #
1140
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,300
- Fuck!
-# Electric eye #
1141
01:03:21,900 --> 01:03:24,800
# Infiltrate, storm the gate! #
1142
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:27,300
# Storm the gate! #
1143
01:03:28,300 --> 01:03:32,000
# Storm the gate! #
1144
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:33,500
Ow!
1145
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:37,200
God damn it! Aah!
1146
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:37,500
God! That was KG's fault.
1147
01:03:37,500 --> 01:03:39,700
God! That was KG's fault.
1148
01:03:39,700 --> 01:03:41,300
If he'd been here
like we planned...
1149
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:42,500
he coulda lowered me down
with a rope...
1150
01:03:42,500 --> 01:03:44,300
but dick-ass
had to follow his cock.
1151
01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:48,600
And you know when I go quadruple
plat he'll come a-knockin'--
1152
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:51,700
"Dude, can I come back
and join the band now?"
1153
01:03:51,700 --> 01:03:54,000
And I'll be like,
"No way, cockshiner."
1154
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:55,500
And then he'll be like--
1155
01:03:55,500 --> 01:03:56,500
Can you hear me?
1156
01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:58,800
Oh, yeah.
I hear you loud and clear.
1157
01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:00,400
You're sayin' ho's before bro's.
1158
01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:02,300
Well, that's not how I roll, asshole.
1159
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:05,800
JB, it's KG. Do you read me?
1160
01:04:08,700 --> 01:04:10,600
What do you want, non-rocker?
1161
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,700
This line is reserved for rockers only...
1162
01:04:12,700 --> 01:04:14,700
so I can't really talk
to you right now.
1163
01:04:14,700 --> 01:04:17,700
Sex, drugs, and then rock & roll.
1164
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:19,700
In that order.
I was just followin' the code.
1165
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,400
You're a fuckin' traitor.
1166
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,200
You bailed on me,
and now I'm in the shit.
1167
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:25,400
Where the fuck are you?
1168
01:04:27,500 --> 01:04:29,500
I'm in the air duct, dude.
1169
01:04:33,300 --> 01:04:38,700
- Dude. I totally missed you.
- Me too.
1170
01:04:52,100 --> 01:04:53,500
I just heard a noise.
1171
01:04:53,500 --> 01:04:56,100
I am trippin'.
1172
01:04:56,100 --> 01:04:58,000
Are you stoned?
1173
01:04:58,100 --> 01:04:59,900
Listen.
1174
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,600
Uh, I just heard a noise.
1175
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:06,300
- I'm gonna go check it out.
- Copy that.
1176
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:08,000
Mm.
1177
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,900
Uh--
1178
01:05:34,300 --> 01:05:36,600
Classic Rock is clear.
1179
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:38,500
I'm gonna go check out Punk.
1180
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:40,500
And if I find anybody in there...
1181
01:05:40,600 --> 01:05:43,300
I'm gonna pop a fuckin' cap
in their ass.
1182
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:45,100
I'm gonna call it self-defense.
1183
01:05:45,100 --> 01:05:46,800
Hello?
1184
01:05:48,500 --> 01:05:49,700
I'm on my own.
1185
01:06:00,700 --> 01:06:02,900
Oh, God.
1186
01:06:05,700 --> 01:06:06,900
Dude, you heard that guy.
1187
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,500
He's gonna shoot us. Let's bail.
1188
01:06:08,600 --> 01:06:10,500
No. We're too close.
1189
01:06:10,500 --> 01:06:11,800
That pick is in one of these rooms...
1190
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:13,600
and we're not leavin' here
without it.
1191
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,200
Dude, look at this place.
1192
01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:17,500
It's huge. We're never
gonna find this thing.
1193
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:20,600
Follow me. We are the shadows.
1194
01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:23,200
They'll never find what cannot be seen.
1195
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,900
Center.
1196
01:07:09,700 --> 01:07:11,000
Picks, picks.
1197
01:07:11,100 --> 01:07:13,400
Where do they keep their fuckin' picks?
1198
01:07:13,500 --> 01:07:15,000
It's gotta be in the Guitar Gods room.
1199
01:07:15,100 --> 01:07:16,600
- Where's that?
- It's right here.
1200
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:19,300
At the top of Guitarway to Heaven.
1201
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:02,200
There it is.
1202
01:08:06,300 --> 01:08:09,400
Fuck-a-luck-a-ding-dong.
1203
01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:11,000
- Let's go get it.
- No!
1204
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:14,100
Lasers.
1205
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:16,100
They'll slice you to pieces.
1206
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:17,600
Sizzlelean.
1207
01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:21,300
You stay here and keep a lookout.
1208
01:08:21,300 --> 01:08:24,200
Wh--What are you gonna do?
1209
01:08:24,300 --> 01:08:26,700
I'm goin' in there and gettin' that pick.
1210
01:08:30,300 --> 01:08:31,900
# Danger #
1211
01:08:33,700 --> 01:08:35,700
# Laser #
1212
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:38,700
# Tetris #
1213
01:08:40,100 --> 01:08:41,500
# lmpossible #
1214
01:08:41,500 --> 01:08:43,700
Be careful.
1215
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:45,400
# Q-Bert #
1216
01:08:47,300 --> 01:08:48,600
# Frogger #
1217
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:50,200
Uh! Uh!
1218
01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:52,900
# Dig Dug #
1219
01:08:52,900 --> 01:08:55,700
# Marble Madness #
1220
01:08:57,500 --> 01:08:58,800
# Centipede #
1221
01:08:58,900 --> 01:09:00,600
# Millipede #
1222
01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:01,900
# Tenacious #
1223
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:03,100
You got it.
1224
01:09:04,300 --> 01:09:05,300
# lmpossible #
1225
01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:07,200
# lmpossible #
1226
01:09:09,700 --> 01:09:13,100
Can't...reach...pick.
1227
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:15,400
Surrounded by lasers.
1228
01:09:15,500 --> 01:09:16,800
Focus, Jables.
1229
01:09:18,700 --> 01:09:21,200
Use all your mental powers.
1230
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,300
Wait.
There's a button down here.
1231
01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,000
I think it might deactivate the lasers...
1232
01:09:29,900 --> 01:09:32,000
But I can't reach it.
1233
01:09:32,100 --> 01:09:33,500
The cock.
1234
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:36,400
Use the cock.
1235
01:09:48,500 --> 01:09:50,700
Come on, helmet head.
1236
01:09:50,700 --> 01:09:51,900
Get it up.
1237
01:09:51,900 --> 01:09:53,500
# Cock #
1238
01:09:55,900 --> 01:09:58,000
Ooh.
1239
01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:01,600
# Cock, cock, cock #
1240
01:10:02,700 --> 01:10:04,500
# Cock, cock, cock #
1241
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,400
Aaah! Mmm!
1242
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:09,500
- # Cock, cock, cock, cock #
- Come to Papa.
1243
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:11,900
- # Cock #
- Oh! Aaah!
1244
01:10:11,900 --> 01:10:13,600
Oh, yeah!
1245
01:10:25,700 --> 01:10:27,800
Let's finish this.
1246
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:35,500
# Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey #
1247
01:10:35,500 --> 01:10:37,800
# Prekeh-goo-goo-boo
ba-dum-biddly-beep-beep #
1248
01:10:38,900 --> 01:10:41,100
Aaah!
1249
01:10:41,100 --> 01:10:42,400
Fuck.
1250
01:10:42,500 --> 01:10:43,600
I can't reach it.
1251
01:10:43,700 --> 01:10:45,600
- I can't reach it.
- Hold on!
1252
01:10:46,700 --> 01:10:48,400
Aaaaah!
1253
01:10:49,800 --> 01:10:51,600
That's it, that's it.
1254
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:53,200
I got it! I got it! Aaah!
1255
01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:54,700
- Aaah! Aaah!
- Aaah!
1256
01:10:58,600 --> 01:11:02,300
Ah! Aaah! Oh! Aaah!
1257
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:05,400
- Uh...
- Oh!
1258
01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:08,500
Ha ha ha ha!
1259
01:11:09,100 --> 01:11:10,100
Aaaaaah!
1260
01:11:12,900 --> 01:11:14,500
Haul ass!
1261
01:11:18,300 --> 01:11:20,200
Aaaaaah!
1262
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,700
Aaaaaah!
1263
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,000
Halt! Stop!
1264
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:35,400
Aaah!
1265
01:11:40,300 --> 01:11:45,200
Power slide!
1266
01:11:47,700 --> 01:11:51,600
# Yeah! #
1267
01:12:02,100 --> 01:12:05,700
- Oh, damn!
- Ugh! Why?
1268
01:12:07,500 --> 01:12:09,200
- That was awesome.
- I know.
1269
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:11,100
I've never fired a gun before,
it was unbelievable.
1270
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:13,300
Aah! Oh, God! Oh!
1271
01:12:13,300 --> 01:12:15,000
Oh! Hold up!
1272
01:12:16,900 --> 01:12:18,600
- We got it!
- Fuck, yeah.
1273
01:12:18,700 --> 01:12:19,900
Let's get the fuck outta here.
1274
01:12:19,900 --> 01:12:23,500
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
1275
01:12:23,500 --> 01:12:25,500
Nice work, boys.
1276
01:12:25,500 --> 01:12:31,200
Now, toss that pick over here,
nice and slow.
1277
01:12:31,200 --> 01:12:34,700
Or I will cut you from hole to hole.
1278
01:12:34,700 --> 01:12:37,100
Then you might as well kill us, man...
1279
01:12:37,100 --> 01:12:38,600
'cause there is no way in hell...
1280
01:12:38,700 --> 01:12:40,100
we're givin' you this fuckin' pick.
1281
01:12:40,100 --> 01:12:42,100
OK.
1282
01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:44,400
So be it.
1283
01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:46,600
Come over here.
1284
01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:48,700
I'm going to fucking stab you.
1285
01:12:50,100 --> 01:12:52,700
What?
1286
01:12:52,700 --> 01:12:54,700
No. We're not comin' over there.
1287
01:12:54,800 --> 01:12:56,500
Fine.
1288
01:12:56,600 --> 01:12:59,100
Stay where you are, then.
1289
01:12:59,100 --> 01:13:00,800
I'm going to come over there.
1290
01:13:00,900 --> 01:13:05,800
I am going to slice out
your eyes and your balls.
1291
01:13:05,800 --> 01:13:09,700
And then I am going to stick
your eyes in your ballsacks...
1292
01:13:09,700 --> 01:13:11,300
and then I will take your balls...
1293
01:13:11,300 --> 01:13:13,800
and I will put them in your eyeholes!
1294
01:13:13,900 --> 01:13:15,500
Dude, we could totally outrun him.
1295
01:13:15,500 --> 01:13:17,100
Totally, let's bail.
1296
01:13:17,100 --> 01:13:20,100
N--No, wait! Co--Come back here!
1297
01:13:20,100 --> 01:13:21,200
Gaaah!
1298
01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:23,300
Come back with my pick!
1299
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:25,600
It belongs to me!
1300
01:13:27,100 --> 01:13:28,600
Freeze!
1301
01:13:29,700 --> 01:13:32,800
Catch me if you can.
1302
01:13:35,400 --> 01:13:36,400
Aaah!
1303
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,400
# Kings! #
1304
01:13:42,300 --> 01:13:46,300
Yeah! Yeah!
1305
01:13:47,700 --> 01:13:49,900
Whoo!
1306
01:13:49,900 --> 01:13:52,000
Fifty miles to Los Angeles.
1307
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,000
- We did it!
- Yeah!
1308
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:54,200
- Yeah!
- I know.
1309
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:55,900
I'm surprised no one even chased us.
1310
01:13:55,900 --> 01:13:57,200
We got away scot-free.
1311
01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:59,800
- You fuckin' rule.
- No. You fuckin' rule.
1312
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:02,900
Yeah, but I couldn't have done it
without your training.
1313
01:14:02,900 --> 01:14:05,000
Dude, let's see the pick.
1314
01:14:05,100 --> 01:14:06,800
- Oh, shit.
- Dude, you got it, right?
1315
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:08,700
Yes! Ha ha ha!
1316
01:14:08,800 --> 01:14:10,400
- Look at how awesome it is!
- Ohhhh!
1317
01:14:10,500 --> 01:14:12,000
- Now we have the power.
- Yes!
1318
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:14,500
We shall carry on its ancient legacy.
1319
01:14:14,500 --> 01:14:17,200
Dude, we are gonna smoke
the competition...
1320
01:14:17,300 --> 01:14:18,500
at the open mic night tonight.
1321
01:14:18,500 --> 01:14:20,500
- That money is ours!
- Mm. Totally.
1322
01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:26,100
Yeah, I got some, uh, fellas
with a broken taillight.
1323
01:14:27,500 --> 01:14:28,800
- Oh, fuck. It's the cops.
- Is it? Oh... Oo.
1324
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:30,500
Pull over. Pull over. It's cool.
1325
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:31,600
- OK.
- Pull over.
1326
01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,200
All right. Just play it cool.
1327
01:14:34,300 --> 01:14:36,300
M'kay? They got nothin' on us.
1328
01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:38,800
Let's just be mellow, OK?
1329
01:14:41,700 --> 01:14:43,200
What're you doing? No!
1330
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:45,200
What the fuck are you doing?
1331
01:14:45,200 --> 01:14:46,900
This is Officer Mackenzie,
I need backup.
1332
01:14:46,900 --> 01:14:49,200
Assailants turning south
down Lexington Avenue.
1333
01:14:49,200 --> 01:14:50,200
I'm in pursuit.
1334
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:52,600
Oh, God damn it, Kyle!
1335
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:54,300
# Car chase city,
that's the name of the game #
1336
01:14:54,400 --> 01:14:55,400
- I want out!
-# It was all groovy #
1337
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:56,600
# Now it's totally lame #
1338
01:14:56,700 --> 01:14:58,500
# KG really fuckin'
blew a synapse #
1339
01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:00,800
# Now we're fuckin' headed
for a total collapse #
1340
01:15:00,900 --> 01:15:02,500
# Car chase city,
run away from the fuzz #
1341
01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:04,700
# Thought that we wasn't
but we totally was #
1342
01:15:04,700 --> 01:15:06,400
# Car chase city,
now we're off-a the map #
1343
01:15:06,500 --> 01:15:08,100
# Car chase city,
now we're takin' a crap #
1344
01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:09,600
- # Now it's gettin' hairy #
- Oh, fuck!
1345
01:15:09,600 --> 01:15:10,800
- # So we're changin' the key #
- God damn it!
1346
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:12,300
# Never underestimate
the power of D #
1347
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:14,400
# KG fuckin' put his foot on the gas #
1348
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:16,400
# If I go to prison,
hide the pick in my ass #
1349
01:15:16,500 --> 01:15:18,300
# Fuck this shit, it's gone too far #
1350
01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:20,500
# Kage, pull over,
let me out of the car #
1351
01:15:20,500 --> 01:15:22,700
The car is severely damaged.
1352
01:15:22,700 --> 01:15:25,500
The perpetrators appear to be
two heavyset males...
1353
01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:27,700
driving a blue Cutlass Supreme.
1354
01:15:27,700 --> 01:15:29,200
# Car chase city,
now we're takin' the lane #
1355
01:15:29,300 --> 01:15:31,200
# KG blew it now we're goin' insane #
1356
01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:34,600
# Let's rock, let's roll,
let me try to fill up your-- #
1357
01:15:34,700 --> 01:15:37,600
Let's go now to Mark in Skycop--
1358
01:15:39,400 --> 01:15:40,700
God damn it!
1359
01:15:42,500 --> 01:15:45,400
- Yeah?
- Hey, you guys!
1360
01:15:45,400 --> 01:15:47,000
- Fuck!
- It's Lee.
1361
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:49,700
I'm just checkin' in.
Is everything OK?
1362
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:51,800
Yeah, we're cool. We're super cool.
1363
01:15:51,900 --> 01:15:53,200
Ah! Ahh!
1364
01:15:53,200 --> 01:15:55,200
Um, where are you guys?
1365
01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:56,600
We're, uh, we're at the drive-in.
1366
01:15:56,700 --> 01:15:57,800
We're watchin this bitchin' movie.
1367
01:15:57,800 --> 01:15:59,700
It's, uh, Cop Chase 3.
Have you seen it?
1368
01:15:59,700 --> 01:16:04,700
Aaaaaah!
1369
01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:07,300
Uh, no. I haven't seen that one.
1370
01:16:07,400 --> 01:16:09,300
Whoa!
1371
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:10,700
Sounds scary, though.
1372
01:16:10,700 --> 01:16:12,700
Yeah. Uh, it's really fucking scary.
1373
01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:14,800
I'm shaking right now, I'm so scared.
1374
01:16:14,900 --> 01:16:17,300
Cool. Well, how was that, uh...
1375
01:16:17,300 --> 01:16:19,300
big power meeting you guys had?
1376
01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:21,100
Awesome. I'll tell you about it later.
1377
01:16:21,100 --> 01:16:22,900
You're makin' us miss the movie.
1378
01:16:25,500 --> 01:16:27,400
I think I lost em!
1379
01:16:31,400 --> 01:16:33,000
Gaah!
1380
01:16:33,100 --> 01:16:36,000
# Gas! Brakes! #
1381
01:16:37,500 --> 01:16:39,300
# Spinnin' donuts,
spinnin' donuts, go! #
1382
01:16:39,300 --> 01:16:40,900
I can do this.
1383
01:16:40,900 --> 01:16:41,900
# Flip flip! #
1384
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:45,100
- # Gas #
- Nooo!
1385
01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,500
- # Nitro! #
- Go!
1386
01:16:47,500 --> 01:16:50,500
# Aaaaah! #
1387
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,100
We're gonna need
paramedics and fire trucks.
1388
01:17:08,100 --> 01:17:10,100
These guys are toast.
1389
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:18,800
Let's get the fuck outta here.
1390
01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:20,700
Let's go.
1391
01:17:20,700 --> 01:17:23,200
Uh, which way, which way?
1392
01:17:23,200 --> 01:17:24,300
OK, where?
1393
01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:26,200
That way! That way!
1394
01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:30,500
This is it, I think.
1395
01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:33,200
Uh! Oooh! Uh!
1396
01:17:33,300 --> 01:17:35,500
- Lemme sneak a peek.
- OK.
1397
01:17:38,800 --> 01:17:41,400
Uh! Huh.
1398
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:43,100
- This is it.
- Oh.
1399
01:17:46,300 --> 01:17:47,800
C'mon.
1400
01:17:47,900 --> 01:17:49,200
Oh, fuck.
1401
01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:51,200
- Let's do this.
- OK.
1402
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:54,500
Hey. Hey.
1403
01:17:54,600 --> 01:17:55,800
Hey, guys, you're runnin' a little late.
1404
01:17:55,900 --> 01:17:57,700
There's one spot left.
You got any new material?
1405
01:17:57,800 --> 01:18:00,500
What we got's gonna turn
your brain into shit.
1406
01:18:00,500 --> 01:18:04,200
Dust off the stage,
open mic host. Step aside.
1407
01:18:05,300 --> 01:18:06,800
OK, big shots.
1408
01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:08,200
You're up whenever you're ready.
1409
01:18:08,200 --> 01:18:10,700
Let's blister this asshole.
1410
01:18:10,700 --> 01:18:12,900
Jack, wait! You got the pick?
1411
01:18:12,900 --> 01:18:14,200
Yeah. Got it right here.
Let's go.
1412
01:18:14,300 --> 01:18:17,200
Maybe I should use it tonight
and you use it next time.
1413
01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:18,900
I should use it tonight.
I'm the lead singer.
1414
01:18:18,900 --> 01:18:21,800
Huh! It's a guitar pick.
I'm lead guitar.
1415
01:18:21,900 --> 01:18:23,500
OK, dude, don't freak out on me.
1416
01:18:23,500 --> 01:18:25,400
Let's just work this out rationally, OK?
1417
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:26,600
We'll take turns with it.
1418
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:28,000
I'll use it now, you'll use it later.
1419
01:18:28,100 --> 01:18:30,700
I'm not freakin' out,
you're freakin' out.
1420
01:18:30,800 --> 01:18:33,500
Now, just let me hold it
for one second!
1421
01:18:33,500 --> 01:18:36,400
You're never gonna use
this fuckin' pick.
1422
01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:38,600
Aaah!
1423
01:18:38,600 --> 01:18:39,800
Aaaah!
1424
01:18:39,800 --> 01:18:41,800
- No!
- No!
1425
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:43,700
You guys, the crowd's
gettin' restless in there.
1426
01:18:43,700 --> 01:18:44,700
- No!
- Hey, wh-what's--
1427
01:18:44,700 --> 01:18:46,500
What's goin' on?
1428
01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:48,200
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
what's wrong?
1429
01:18:48,200 --> 01:18:50,200
We can't go on.
1430
01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:52,600
We had the demon's pick...
1431
01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:53,700
but then we broke it...
1432
01:18:53,800 --> 01:18:56,700
and now our masterpiece
will never happen.
1433
01:18:56,700 --> 01:19:00,200
We can't pay the rent because
we won't be fueled by Satan.
1434
01:19:00,200 --> 01:19:02,500
Come on, get up, get up.
1435
01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:06,000
Come on, come on. Stand up.
You're all right.
1436
01:19:06,100 --> 01:19:10,000
You guys, having
some satanic guitar pick...
1437
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:12,200
isn't gonna make
your rock any better...
1438
01:19:12,300 --> 01:19:14,900
because Satan's not
in a guitar pick...
1439
01:19:14,900 --> 01:19:16,500
he's inside all of us.
1440
01:19:16,600 --> 01:19:18,300
He's in here.
1441
01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,000
In your hearts.
1442
01:19:20,100 --> 01:19:22,900
He's what makes us
not want to go to work...
1443
01:19:22,900 --> 01:19:26,500
exercise, or tell the truth.
1444
01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:28,100
He's what makes us want to party...
1445
01:19:28,100 --> 01:19:30,600
and have sex with each other
all night long.
1446
01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:34,300
He's that little voice in your mind...
1447
01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:37,900
that says, "Fuck you"
to the people you hate.
1448
01:19:37,900 --> 01:19:40,800
Now, you can stay out here
and fight on the ground...
1449
01:19:40,800 --> 01:19:43,300
and cry like babies.
1450
01:19:43,400 --> 01:19:48,600
Or you can go in there
like friends and rock.
1451
01:19:50,100 --> 01:19:52,400
So, what's it gonna be?
1452
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:57,800
Let's go in there and show 'em
what Tenacious D is all about.
1453
01:19:57,800 --> 01:19:59,100
Yeah.
1454
01:19:59,200 --> 01:20:02,500
I already got a guitar pick anyways.
1455
01:20:06,100 --> 01:20:07,800
C'mon.
1456
01:20:42,600 --> 01:20:44,800
Dude, we can still use the pick.
1457
01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:46,600
You use one half, I'll use the other.
1458
01:20:46,700 --> 01:20:47,900
There's still some juice
in there, probably.
1459
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:48,900
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1460
01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:50,500
Where is that...?
1461
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:51,800
Aaaah!
1462
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:04,500
# I am complete #
1463
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:08,300
# Fu-uck #
1464
01:21:08,300 --> 01:21:10,200
# Yes, you are fucked #
1465
01:21:10,200 --> 01:21:11,900
# Shit out of luck #
1466
01:21:11,900 --> 01:21:15,000
# Now I'm complete
and my cock you will suck #
1467
01:21:15,100 --> 01:21:17,100
# This world will be mine #
1468
01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:19,000
# And you're first in line #
1469
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:22,900
# You brought me the pick
and now you shall both die #
1470
01:21:22,900 --> 01:21:30,000
# Wait, wait, wait,
you motherfucker #
1471
01:21:30,600 --> 01:21:35,900
# We challenge you
to a rock-off #
1472
01:21:38,100 --> 01:21:42,900
# Give us one chance
to rock your socks off #
1473
01:21:44,800 --> 01:21:50,200
# Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! #
1474
01:21:50,300 --> 01:21:53,700
# The demon code prevents me #
1475
01:21:53,700 --> 01:21:57,600
# From declining
a rock-off challenge #
1476
01:21:57,700 --> 01:22:00,600
# What are your terms? #
1477
01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:04,300
# What's the ca-a-atch? #
1478
01:22:05,800 --> 01:22:13,600
# If we win you must take
your sorry ass back to hell #
1479
01:22:14,800 --> 01:22:22,400
# And also you will have
to pay our rent #
1480
01:22:24,900 --> 01:22:27,400
# And what if I win? #
1481
01:22:29,400 --> 01:22:34,500
# Then you can take
Kage back to Hell #
1482
01:22:34,500 --> 01:22:35,600
What?
1483
01:22:35,600 --> 01:22:37,100
Trust me, Kage.
1484
01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:38,600
It's the only way.
1485
01:22:38,600 --> 01:22:40,000
What are you talking about?
1486
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:43,700
# To be your little bitch #
1487
01:22:43,800 --> 01:22:45,400
Fine!
1488
01:22:45,400 --> 01:22:48,600
# Let the rock-off begin! #
1489
01:22:48,600 --> 01:22:51,600
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1490
01:22:55,800 --> 01:22:59,700
# I'm the Devil, I love metal #
1491
01:23:02,900 --> 01:23:06,900
# Check this riff,
it's fucking tasty #
1492
01:23:10,700 --> 01:23:14,300
# I'm the Devil,
I can do what I want #
1493
01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:17,500
# Whatever I've got,
I'm gonna flaunt #
1494
01:23:17,500 --> 01:23:22,700
# There's never been
a rock-off that I've ever lost #
1495
01:23:25,300 --> 01:23:28,700
# I can't wait to take
Kage back to hell #
1496
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:32,700
# I'm gonna fill him
with my hot demon's gel #
1497
01:23:32,800 --> 01:23:36,400
# I'll make you squeal
like the Scarlet Pimpernel #
1498
01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:42,100
# No! #
1499
01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:45,200
Come on, Kage!
1500
01:23:45,200 --> 01:23:49,300
Let's fight his music with our music.
1501
01:23:49,400 --> 01:23:52,200
# There's just no way
that we can win #
1502
01:23:52,200 --> 01:23:54,900
- # That was a masterpiece #
- Listen to me.
1503
01:23:54,900 --> 01:23:59,100
# He rocks too hard
because he's not a mortal man #
1504
01:23:59,100 --> 01:24:00,200
Goddamnit, Kage.
1505
01:24:00,200 --> 01:24:03,300
# He gonna make you
his sex slave #
1506
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:05,400
# You gonna gargle mayonnaise #
1507
01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:07,000
- No.
-# Unless we bust #
1508
01:24:07,100 --> 01:24:10,000
# A massive monster mamojam #
1509
01:24:10,100 --> 01:24:14,100
# Dude, we've been
through so much shit #
1510
01:24:14,100 --> 01:24:16,700
# Deactivated lasers
with my dick #
1511
01:24:16,700 --> 01:24:22,400
# Now it's time
to blow this fucker down #
1512
01:24:22,500 --> 01:24:25,700
# Come on, Kage, now
it's time to blow doors down #
1513
01:24:25,800 --> 01:24:28,900
# I hear ya, Jables, now
it's time to blow doors down #
1514
01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:31,900
# Light up the stage 'cause
it's time for a showdown #
1515
01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:34,700
# We'll bend you over then we'll
take ya to brown town #
1516
01:24:34,700 --> 01:24:38,400
# Now we've got
to blow this fucker down #
1517
01:24:38,500 --> 01:24:41,300
# He's gonna rape me
if we do not blow doors down #
1518
01:24:41,300 --> 01:24:43,700
# C'mon, Kage 'cause it's time
to blow doors down #
1519
01:24:43,800 --> 01:24:46,700
# Ooooh we'll pile-drive ya,
it's time for the smack down #
1520
01:24:46,800 --> 01:24:49,700
# Hey, Antichrist-a, Beelzeboss #
1521
01:24:49,800 --> 01:24:51,300
# We know your weakness #
1522
01:24:51,300 --> 01:24:52,900
# Our rock it sauce #
1523
01:24:52,900 --> 01:24:56,000
# We rock the Casbah,
and blow your mind #
1524
01:24:56,100 --> 01:24:59,200
# We will defeat you
for all mankind #
1525
01:24:59,300 --> 01:25:02,300
# You hold the scepter,
we hold the key #
1526
01:25:02,300 --> 01:25:05,400
# You are the Devil,
we are the D #
1527
01:25:05,500 --> 01:25:07,600
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1528
01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:10,600
# We are the D, we are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1529
01:25:10,700 --> 01:25:13,100
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1530
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:16,200
# We are the D, we are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1531
01:25:16,300 --> 01:25:19,200
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1532
01:25:21,500 --> 01:25:22,900
You guys are fuckin' lame!
1533
01:25:22,900 --> 01:25:24,800
C'mon, Kage,
you're comin' with me.
1534
01:25:26,300 --> 01:25:28,800
Taste my lightning, fucker.
1535
01:25:28,800 --> 01:25:31,000
Nooo!
1536
01:25:31,000 --> 01:25:32,300
Ow!
1537
01:25:32,300 --> 01:25:34,900
Fuck! My fuckin' horn!
1538
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:37,900
- Oh, no!
- From whence you came...
1539
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:42,200
you shall remain,
until you are complete again!
1540
01:25:42,900 --> 01:25:46,600
Nooo!
1541
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:57,200
Fuck you, Kage!
1542
01:25:57,200 --> 01:26:00,300
And fuck you, Jables.
1543
01:26:00,400 --> 01:26:04,400
I'll get you, Tenacious D!
1544
01:26:24,900 --> 01:26:28,300
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1545
01:26:28,300 --> 01:26:29,600
We did it, dude.
1546
01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:32,400
We beat the Devil.
1547
01:26:32,500 --> 01:26:34,100
With our rock.
1548
01:26:34,200 --> 01:26:36,900
Ha ha ha! So good.
1549
01:26:36,900 --> 01:26:40,300
Aaah, man, that was
a monster jam that we played.
1550
01:26:40,300 --> 01:26:41,700
Yeah. Yeah.
1551
01:26:41,700 --> 01:26:44,800
It was, like,
the greatest song in the world.
1552
01:26:44,800 --> 01:26:45,900
It was, wasn't it?
1553
01:26:45,900 --> 01:26:48,800
- How did it go?
- Um....
1554
01:26:51,500 --> 01:26:53,700
- I can't remember.
- Fuck. I can't either.
1555
01:26:53,700 --> 01:26:57,000
You know what? Let's just
lay down a fresh, tasty jam.
1556
01:26:57,000 --> 01:26:59,400
Good idea, rage Kage.
1557
01:26:59,400 --> 01:27:02,300
- Bust out the BOD.
- What?
1558
01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:03,900
The Bong of Destiny.
1559
01:27:03,900 --> 01:27:06,000
Good call.
1560
01:27:06,100 --> 01:27:07,700
Whoa.
1561
01:27:11,100 --> 01:27:12,900
Take it to the head, bitch.
1562
01:27:14,900 --> 01:27:16,400
Draws like a pencil.
1563
01:27:18,300 --> 01:27:20,300
Press record.
1564
01:27:21,800 --> 01:27:23,600
Ooooh!
1565
01:27:23,700 --> 01:27:26,400
- Ha ha ha!
- Yeah!
1566
01:27:26,400 --> 01:27:29,100
Now let's rock it.
1567
01:27:29,100 --> 01:27:30,500
One, two, three.
1568
01:27:30,600 --> 01:27:34,700
# 'Cause it's
the Pick of Destiny, child #
1569
01:27:34,700 --> 01:27:38,000
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #
1570
01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:42,100
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #
1571
01:27:42,100 --> 01:27:46,000
# More precious than
a diamond on a platinum chain #
1572
01:27:46,100 --> 01:27:49,900
# In Venice Beach
there was a man named Kage #
1573
01:27:49,900 --> 01:27:53,500
# When he was buskin'
he was all the rage #
1574
01:27:53,600 --> 01:27:57,200
# He met Jables
and he taught him well #
1575
01:27:57,300 --> 01:28:01,100
# All the techniques
that were developed in Hell #
1576
01:28:01,100 --> 01:28:04,600
# Cock push-ups
and the power slide #
1577
01:28:04,600 --> 01:28:08,300
# Gig simulation,
now there's nowhere to hide #
1578
01:28:08,400 --> 01:28:12,000
# They formed a band
they named Tenacious D #
1579
01:28:12,000 --> 01:28:14,800
# And then they got
the Pick of Destiny #
1580
01:28:14,800 --> 01:28:18,800
# 'Cause it's the Pick of Destiny, child #
1581
01:28:18,800 --> 01:28:22,200
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #
1582
01:28:22,200 --> 01:28:26,400
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #
1583
01:28:26,500 --> 01:28:29,900
# Our tasty grooves are better
than a chicken chow mein #
1584
01:28:30,000 --> 01:28:33,800
# 'Cause he who is sleazy
is easy to pleasey #
1585
01:28:33,800 --> 01:28:37,300
# And she who is juicy
must be loosey-goosey #
1586
01:28:37,400 --> 01:28:42,200
# And he who is groovy will
be in my movie so come on! #
1587
01:28:44,900 --> 01:28:48,600
# The wizard and the demon
had a battle royale #
1588
01:28:48,600 --> 01:28:52,300
# The demon almost killed him
with an evil kapow #
1589
01:28:52,300 --> 01:28:55,400
# But then it broke his tooth
and thus the demon said, "Ow!" #
1590
01:28:55,400 --> 01:28:59,600
# 'Cause it's the Pick of Destiny, child #
1591
01:28:59,700 --> 01:29:02,800
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #
1592
01:29:02,900 --> 01:29:07,000
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #
1593
01:29:07,100 --> 01:29:10,600
# You know our movie's
better than-a Citizen Kane #
1594
01:29:10,600 --> 01:29:14,300
# 'Cause he who's a geezer
must live in my freezer #
1595
01:29:14,300 --> 01:29:18,100
# And she who is snarky
is full of malarkey #
1596
01:29:18,200 --> 01:29:24,000
# And he who is groovy must
be in my movie so come on! #
1597
01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:40,300
# Oh, 'cause if you're a diva
then go to Geneva #
1598
01:29:40,400 --> 01:29:44,100
# And if you're a crony
then suck on my boney #
1599
01:29:44,100 --> 01:29:47,300
# And if you are groovy
then get in my movie #
1600
01:29:47,300 --> 01:29:51,400
# It's called the Pick of Destiny #
1601
01:29:51,400 --> 01:29:55,700
# The Pick of Destiny #
1602
01:29:55,700 --> 01:29:56,100
# The Pick of Destiny #
1603
01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:06,800
# You can't kill the metal #
1604
01:30:09,400 --> 01:30:10,900
# The metal will live on #
1605
01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:15,700
# Punk rock tried to kill the metal #
1606
01:30:17,400 --> 01:30:20,900
# But they failed as they
were smite to the ground #
1607
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:25,700
# New wave tried to kill the metal #
1608
01:30:25,700 --> 01:30:30,100
# But they failed as they were
stricken down to the ground #
1609
01:30:31,400 --> 01:30:34,300
# Grunge tried to kill the metal #
1610
01:30:34,300 --> 01:30:36,000
Ah ha ha ha!
1611
01:30:36,000 --> 01:30:39,700
# They failed as they were
thrown to the ground #
1612
01:30:42,700 --> 01:30:47,100
# Aaaah! #
1613
01:30:47,100 --> 01:30:48,900
# Yeah! #
1614
01:30:51,200 --> 01:30:55,500
# Aaaah! #
1615
01:30:55,500 --> 01:30:57,800
# Yeah! #
1616
01:30:57,900 --> 01:30:59,900
# Diddle-iddle-iddle,
diddle-iddle-iddle, iddle-ay #
1617
01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:03,900
# No one can destroy the metal #
1618
01:31:04,000 --> 01:31:08,400
# The metal will strike you down
with a vicious blow #
1619
01:31:08,400 --> 01:31:12,600
# We are the vanquished foes of the metal #
1620
01:31:12,600 --> 01:31:17,100
# We tried to win,
for why we do not know #
1621
01:31:17,200 --> 01:31:20,700
# New wave
tried to destroy the metal #
1622
01:31:20,700 --> 01:31:25,700
# But the metal had its way #
1623
01:31:25,800 --> 01:31:29,700
# Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal #
1624
01:31:29,700 --> 01:31:34,300
# But metal was in the way #
1625
01:31:34,400 --> 01:31:38,300
# Punk rock tried to destroy the metal #
1626
01:31:38,300 --> 01:31:42,700
# But metal was much too strong #
1627
01:31:42,700 --> 01:31:46,800
# Techno tried to defile the metal #
1628
01:31:46,900 --> 01:31:52,600
# But techno was proven wrong, yeah! #
1629
01:31:55,100 --> 01:31:56,700
# Metal! #
1630
01:31:58,800 --> 01:32:00,900
# It comes from Hell! #
1631
01:33:00,900 --> 01:33:02,800
All right, man.
1632
01:33:02,800 --> 01:33:04,400
This is it.
1633
01:33:04,400 --> 01:33:08,300
Don't make a sound
unless it's a masterpiece.
1634
01:33:08,300 --> 01:33:10,600
Not a fuckin' sound.
1635
01:33:12,500 --> 01:33:14,100
Wait.
1636
01:33:14,100 --> 01:33:15,900
How will I know if it's a masterpiece?
1637
01:33:17,300 --> 01:33:18,600
You'll feel it.
1638
01:33:18,600 --> 01:33:20,900
And if you feel it,
just fuckin' lay it on me.
1639
01:33:37,500 --> 01:33:39,400
Aaah!
1640
01:33:39,500 --> 01:33:40,500
OK.
1641
01:33:54,200 --> 01:33:55,500
Thought I felt somethin'.
1642
01:33:58,000 --> 01:33:59,800
Let's hear that back.107535
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