Original subtitles

[grunts] Thank you.

[driver] Rocco, you're the greatest. You're my idol.

[Rocco] My mother would wash our clothes on that balcony, looking down at us.

Some more than others.

[door buzzes]

Hey.

Through there.

Rocco.

Ma.

My God.

- I haven't cooked anything for you. - [chuckles]

[slow, somber music playing]

[Carmela] Hm.

[Rocco] I'm not hungry, Mom.

[sighs]

- All those girls... - Hm?

- ...have worn you out. - No.

It'd take a lot of women to wear me out.

Good.

Because that will happen...

when you let them into your heart.

How is Tommaso?

Tell me.

I don't know. We don't talk a lot.

I'll get your things ready.

[clears throat]

Here we go.

We'll bring this with us. Yeah?

To brush your beautiful hair, huh?

[chuckles softly]

Leave that.

- I'll do it. - [Rocco] I didn't come to argue, Giorgio.

[Giorgio] Why did you come?

- To make her die of shame? - Giorgio.

- Yes, Mom? - Look who showed up.

- Your brother Rocco is here. - I can see.

Are you okay?

I'm okay. Yeah.

I'll bring the car around.

[door opens and closes]

[Rocco] Alright... So...

[sighs]

Rocco, did you really put it in all of them?

[chuckles lightly]

No, Mom.

To the side.

- Yes. To the side. - [Rocco chuckling]

- Hey, look! It's Rocco Siffredi. - Holy shit!

You're famous, huh.

[chuckles softly]

Show yourself.

- I'll get better treatment. - [chuckles]

- [Carmela] Am I in there? - [Rocco] No, don't worry.

- Good morning. - [woman] Morning.

- Good morning. Morning. - [man] Good morning.

[somber music rises slowly]

[Rocco sighs]

- Rocco. - Huh?

Look at this! It's fit for a duchess!

It's yours now.

It's unfortunate to have to stay here when I'm sick.

[Rocco chuckles lightly]

Here.

One, two, three.

[both sigh]

There you are.

- [softly] Oh... - [Carmela grunts]

[coughing harshly]

Mom!

[Rocco] My mother coughed up blood twice a day.

At six in the morning and six in the evening.

- I'll get someone. Hold on. Okay? - [Carmela hacking]

In that moment, her pain was so intense

that the only word she managed to say was her sole salvation.

Tommaso...

[woman] You can't have him here, Carmela.

The Lord is watching us, and when we're suffering,

he watches us more closely.

[Carmela] Good Lord, Pina.

Listen to me, now.

I gave it to him, and he can do what he likes with it.

[Rocco] I'll put it here for you, Mom.

[breathes raggedly]

Where are we going, Gabri?

Are you lost? It's late. I just want to go to bed.

Yeah, to bed...

[chuckles lightly]

Recognize this?

We used to come here and beat off when we were boys.

Mm-hmm.

In fairness, you had no idea how to do it. I taught you everything.

[scoffs lightly]

The theme is "cowboys and Indians."

My mother is dying, Gabri.

I know... and you're suffering, and...

thinking of you, buddy.

I can't bear to see you suffer.

[doors open]

- [woman] Peppe! - [man] Ah, the man of the hour!

[Gabriele] You'll find some distraction here.

- [Rocco] Is that Canazzo? - [all] Surprise!

- Are these the guys from school? - [man] Show us your dick!

[laughing]

They all wanted this for you.

For what?

- Rocco! Rocco! - [upbeat country song playing]

Look what I fucking organized for you!

♪ I got a one-way trip No destination home ♪

[Gabriele] You're fucking beautiful.

♪ Just up and left And kicked down the road alone ♪

I'm sorry about your mother.

Mm.

Rocco? Can I... touch it?

Yeah...

[Rocco] Sometimes I think I'm alone.

[somber music playing]

I think about when I was a child

and this city seemed big and small at the same time.

I used to ask myself if I really ever would be able to fuck the world.

[children's voices echoing]

But the truth is no matter how well you learn to fuck...

life always fucks better than you.

- [Rocco] She only asks for you. - [Tommy] I don't have a mother.

My mother was a hooker who abandoned me.

She's dying, Tommy.

Sorry about your mother, Rocco.

[clattering]

Tommy?

[Tommy] We're closed! Out!

We're closed!

- [man] We haven't finished! - [Tommy] Who the fuck are you, huh?

- [clattering] - [woman shouts]

[Carmela coughing]

"What goes around, comes around."

Isn't that right?

[chair scraping]

[Tommy] That's right.

I was right not to phone you anymore. You're no longer dependable.

How about now?

We good?

I'll give you 120... in three months.

[sniffs]

The fuck is this?

- [Tommy sniffs] - What you just said.

Take this 80, and give me 120 in three months.

[Tommy sighs]

[somber music playing]

[Tommy sniffs]

You seen Lucia?

I know you know everything about this fucking city.

Tell her my mother is dying.

She has to see Claudio.

Before she dies.

Tell her that.

If I see her.

[thunder rumbling]

[wind whistling]

[mouthing] Tommaso...

[thunder rumbling]

[indistinct whispers]

[water splashing]

[somber music rises]

[sighs]

Hey, Rocco.

Tommaso returned.

He bought Alfredo's cafe.

[sighs]

Did you hear that, Mom?

Tommaso's back.

[music fades out]

Hey, straighten the lampshade.

Rocco, biggest dick in the world! [laughs]

[sighs, kisses]

Handsome.

Here. Do you like it? Hm? Gonna be all marble, yeah.

Like in the ancient Roman villas. Look!

Shiny like a mirror. It's gonna be good.

You'll see.

But they're moving at a snail's pace.

- You're here. - Yeah.

As the boss, like I said.

Yeah.

- [sighs] Listen, about mom... - Here, here! Here! Come look at this.

Lui!

Lui, go and get the sign from the van.

Yes, Tommy.

- She doesn't have much time left... - I gotta show ya the sign. It's important.

[sighs]

I don't care about the sign, Tommy.

You need to come now.

She doesn't recognize anyone anymore. Do you understand?

- But, she might with you. - With me what?

Tell me.

I'm finishing up here/

Once I've finished, I might.

Alright?

Out! Get out!

Out! Get out!

[sighs]

She could've called me. Mm?

I'm finishing something here. Can't you see?

For once in my life, I'm finishing something!

- Yeah, yeah... No... - You always have to come boss me around!

No! Do whatever you fucking want.

You're just a selfish prick. It's always about you.

- Really? Yeah? - Yeah. Yeah.

It's about me?

It's about me?

You fly around the world with your dick out. Hm?

You fuck anyone, and you don't give a fuck about us.

- Screw you. - Eh? You wanted to fuck my wife.

- You're still going on about that? Still? - And you're saying I'm selfish?

Yes, you are! You are, Tommy!

You are because you don't see what everyone around you has done for you.

You don't see it! You don't see that love!

You're blind to it! 'Cause you don't deserve it.

Go fuck yourself. She needs to call you?

From the hospital?

From her hospital bed? And you want her to call.

Hey, look at me!

She's your mother, Jesus Christ! She's over there vomiting blood!

She's vomiting blood. And you want her to call? Huh?

It's never enough for you.

Never enough.

- [sad music plays] - [visitors] Holy Mary, mother of God.

Pray for us sinners, now,

and at the hour of our death.

[Rocco] Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

[all] Holy Mary, mother of God,

pray for us sinners.

Now, and at the hour of our death.

Hail Mary,

full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

[priest] Rocco.

[Rocco] Hello, Father Graziano.

It's late. Come on, let's go.

Yeah, five more minutes, Father.

Do you remember when she said you'd be a priest?

[chuckles lightly]

She saw something pure in you.

[quietly] Yes.

She was wrong.

She fell ill because of me.

[exhales]

God's judgment of one's soul isn't that simple.

Let her go, Rocco.

And take heart in the resurrection of bodies.

Our bodies don't resurrect.

They transform and suffer, and they bleed.

But there's no salvation.

- [thunder rumbling] - [rain pattering]

SAINT PIUS' HOSPITAL

[engine revs]

[Rocco] My mother hadn't really been with it for days.

But life comes back for a second, before ending for good.

I surprised myself, hoping that she'd look at me right at that second.

[kissing]

Like when I was a kid.

I'm gonna count to ten now, Mom, then you're going to look at me. Okay?

One, two, three...

four...

five, six,

seven, eight, nine...

[mouthing] Claudio...

[mouthing] My baby...

[Carmela exhales deeply]

[whimpers softly]

Ma...

Mama?

[somber music plays softly]

[sniffling]

[sobbing quietly]

[gasps]

[exhales sharply]

You have to be gentle with dogs. Dogs are loyal.

- I am gentle, always. - Ah, that's good. [chuckles]

[Lucia] Tommaso would never have let you have it.

His mother's dying in the hospital.

He's gone back to Ortona.

He wanted money he could never pay back.

His restaurant was really his only collateral.

- I bought it for you. - For me?

But I had it before, and it ended badly.

Look, I'm being practical.

I know what you were, Lucia.

You know who I am.

I don't ask you to love me.

I have myself for that.

But for a woman like you, the restaurant could be quite a relief.

Thank you, but I don't need relief.

Then what do you need?

[Rocco] But what do we see in that second of pure life?

Please consider it.

That second when everything is suspended and, for a moment, everything is so clear.

["E Così Per Non Morire" by Ornella Vanoni playing]

[clock ticking]

[ticking slows to a stop]

["E Così Per Non Morire" continues]

Your mother ironed this for today.

[phone ringing]

- [Rocco's father] I'll get it. - [ringing continues]

Hello?

CLOSED CHANGE OF OWNER

[grunts]

[crying, gasps]

[church bells tolling]

["E Così Per Non Morire" continues]

CARMELA'S

[Father Graziano praying in Latin]

[spitting, coughing]

[speaks closing blessing in Latin]

[sniffs]

[song fades out]

[sniffles]

[gentle music builds slowly]

Tommaso is hurting bad.

[whimpers softly, sniffling]

[Tommaso sobbing quietly]

Condolences, Rocco.

A man without a mom is no longer a son.

[music fades out]

[sighs]

[soft music plays]

[tense choral music builds slowly]

[Rocco groans]

[gasps softly, shudders]

[thunder rumbles quietly]

[grunts, gasps]

[exhales]

[sighs]

[deep inhale]

[music fades out]

The psychologists call it second-time grief.

When a heavy loss triggers another grief,

one which may have happened much earlier in time.

Almost like saying... everyone who dies

never leaves this world alone.

And what the soul can bear the first time...

may be fatal the second time around.

Because of the hurt, right?

No.

For that sense of absurdity, of ridiculousness.

Of the void that death imposes on the world.

The hurt?

No.

The hurt is the only thing that saves you.

[gentle music plays]

You need to hold on to the hurt.

And feel it. Make it your friend.

All this death around us.

[Franco] My love...

It's because we're more real than everyone else.

You know what I like about this house?

Through that window, the dawn comes in.

So it's good that we're here.

For our last meeting.

[chuckling tearfully]

Come here.

Give me a kiss.

Tremendous.

[sobbing quietly]

[both chuckle softly]

You feel it?

Feel what?

Somewhere...

is life.

Hope so, Franco.

[clock ticking]

PHONE DIRECTORY

[Rocco] It says here you perform circumcisions without an appointment.

It'll be 300,000 lira, in cash please.

Okay.

Go lie down and unbutton your pants.

[Rocco] I just wanted to feel the pain that my mother felt

at six in the morning and six in the evening.

I wanted the pain to keep me alive.

[man] Keep still now.

[Rocco] Beyond the emptiness that took my breath away.

[man] Keep still.

[straining]

[groaning]

[thunder rumbling]

- [man] I know, it's a little painful. - [groaning]

[straining]

[gasps, strains]

[grunting]

[Rocco groans]

[Rocco] And now I could feel it, every time I had an erection.

- [moaning echoes] - [grunting echoes]

[Rocco] Embrace the pain.

[gasps, sighs]

[exhales]

[shudders]

- [Gabriele] Great! - [exhales]

- Beautiful. - [actress] Ugh...

[Gabriele] Fucking hell, Rocco. That was a great scene.

- [actress] I'm so sore. - [Christoph] You were great.

- [Gabriele] Beautiful. Fucking beautiful. - [Christoph] Beautiful, yes. Beautiful.

[Gabriele] What a scene!

Wow. [chuckles lightly]

[Christoph] Okay... understand?

[actress] You could've been a bit nicer.

My job is to fuck you, not to be nice to you.

[Christoph] He's violent. We have to be more wary of him.

[Gabriele] That's the job, Christoph. Take it easy.

[Christoph] These Italians...

[Gabriele scoffs] Ah, fuck you.

Beautiful.

Beautiful scene. [chuckles]

My stitches have opened, Gabri...

Opened?

- Opened where? - On my dick.

What the fuck did you do?

Rocco, what the fuck did you do?

Rocco, the greatest, most beautiful dick in the universe?

Here, get some ice on it.

[Rocco sighs]

Like this? On... On top of it?

No, no, no, no. Put it on...

- Keep it there, keep it on your skin. - Yeah.

- It'll heal quicker. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[inhales sharply]

Alright, then... this expert on dicks, this guy...

He basically told me you must take this pill at night for a week,

or your stitches will open up and we'll have to start all over.

- I don't have a week, Gabri. - I got that.

Put the ice on it, cream, and, uh... You'll be just fine in a couple days.

Know what I was thinking?

That I'm ready.

That I made it far enough I don't need a director.

I've had it with this garbage.

I want real sex, with people who look into each other's eyes for real, Gabri.

Yeah.

Yeah. Fuck, yes!

Yes, yes, this is amazing!

Rocco Siffredi Productions. Eh? [laughs]

- I can see it. - Ow! Oh, wait.

- Now what? - [grunts]

No...

The ice is stuck right to it, Gabri.

No. Oh, God...

[upbeat, whimsical music plays]

[exhaling]

- Stop! What the fuck is this? - I'm heating it up so it comes off.

It looks like you're trying to suck me off right now!

I got it.

- I'll pull it off. - [sighs]

Slowly, Gabri.

[gasping]

- [tearing] - [screams]

[shrieks, groans]

[Rocco] Second-degree burns, scalpels, risk of a skin transplant.

Embrace the pain, seawater, and sun.

[upbeat music playing]

[music ends]

You here, Tommaso?

[Tommy] I'm here.

[slow, tense music playing]

Tommy! Alright...

What's happening?

[woman and man panting, groaning]

[panting, moaning]

[soundscape distorts and muffles]

[toilet flushes]

- [soundscape normalizes] - [panting and moaning continue]

It's for Tommaso.

It's always for Tommaso.

You said he was suffering.

[exhales] It was true.

That doesn't give him the right to tear us apart.

You said so yourself once.

Does that only count because you're a man, though?

[Rocco sighs]

You came back for him, right?

No.

I came back for you.

And you know it.

Tommaso needs you and Claudio so he doesn't lose his way.

Tommaso's already lost.

And I'm not going to be the one to save him, that's for sure.

Still, it...

took me a long time to figure that out.

- What about you, Rocco? - What?

- What do you need to not lose your way? - Eh...

I'll be just fine.

I know the road ahead.

And Tommaso thought he knew his road as well... better than anyone else.

Tommaso's a violent, selfish motherfucker.

- And what are you? - What do you want from me, Lucia?

Are you sure that in that toilet,

right in front of everyone... she was comfortable with what you did to her?

Yes. Yes. You know why?

Because I held eye contact with her.

She told me with her eyes. So I did it.

And we did it together.

So now you understand a girl's eyes?

You, who didn't even know how to use your dick until a few years ago?

[Rocco scoffs]

Are you jealous?

Jealous of what?

Of that garbage?

I know all about that too, Rocco.

Remember? I know sex just as well as you do.

Well, this is not Pigalle, Lucia.

Mm?

Because I made a choice. She made a choice.

You didn't choose a thing.

But it wasn't your face in the toilet,

while she was ass-fucking you.

What if she wanted to stop before that?

You can't take the power out of sex... or it's meaningless.

That's the truth. So, was she scared?

Yes, she was scared. Yeah, but... she was turned on.

There's a difference... between truth and desire, isn't there?

What are you talking about?

- Is it us? - There is no "us."

[Rocco scoffs lightly]

- You're just like your brother. - No.

No, you wanna know why? Let me tell you.

Because when girls look me in the eye, they see that I don't judge them.

I don't punish them.

They see they can trust me.

They feel safe to explore their sexuality.

That we're one.

You really believe that?

I felt her get wet.

Her face was wet.

[somber music playing softly]

In Pigalle, one night...

a short, fat man was there.

But he was...

filthy.

He had a wart hanging above his lip.

And he licked me all over... with that mouth.

- With that mouth... - Enough, Lucia.

And I've never been so wet in my life, Rocco.

I vomited the morning after.

[Rocco clears throat]

I saw reality there in Pigalle.

A place full of naked, desperate, violent bodies,

where dicks reign supreme.

I have nothing to do with anything in Pigalle.

I offered to get you out of there.

But your words mean more. See how that works?

Because you're a sex god, whereas I'm a whore from Pigalle.

You've never been that to me, I promise you that.

No?

What was I to you?

The girl you dreamt of as a boy?

Hm? The one with her thighs out when she rode her bike,

that your brother would fuck against a wall?

- [boy] Lucia! - But that wasn't me.

That's the girl you men dream about.

It's always the same.

You know... it's the same,

what you did to her and what you did to me.

Because in your world, the rules say that women have to move out of the way.

You pass them around.

So, Rocco, if you can read a woman's eyes,

tell me...

Look at me.

What was in my eyes at the cemetery?

When you sent me back to your brother?

[somber music rises slowly]

You don't know.

[Rocco] Why...

Why did you go back to Tommaso?

Why did you go back to him? Why didn't you come back to be with me?

Hm?

Because he was alone.

I was alone too.

And you left us like that.

With a baby too.

Unless you want the Gypsies to kill him,

send Tommaso the cash, please.

[Rocco] Every power arrives at the right moment.

And I don't know when that right moment is.

- [sighs] - [Gabriele] Rocco.

Huh?

Come... Come here.

What?

- You'll never guess what happened. - What's happened, Gabri? What is it?

Um... [sighs]

Well, what's happened?

Who's complained?

Huh? What is it? Come on, we're working here.

Talk, talk, talk, let's go.

- Rocco. - Huh?

You've won an Oscar.

[organ music rises]

- [Gabriele chuckles] - [clapping and cheering]

[whistling]

[whooping]

[Gabriele] Rocco Siffredi!

Rocco Siffredi!

[echoing] Rocco Siffredi!

- [soundscape muffles] - [soaring organ music plays]

[synth music builds slowly]

[Gabriele chuckling]

[Rocco] Then there are times when the pain is so great that you have no choice.

You either surrender...

[inhales deeply]

...or you're reborn.

[muffled, slowed laughter]

[laughing, exclaiming]

And if you're reborn from those dark ashes,

it's all a resurrection of bodies.

[upbeat electronic music plays]

3RD AWARD CEREMONY HOT D'OR CANNES '94

[cameras snapping]

[indistinct chattering]

Oh!

- We totally fucked over the Americans! - Oh! Oh! [laughing]

- You're pouring in the wrong glass. - For fuck's sake, Rocco.

- To fucking, Gabri. - To fucking.

[Gabriele] What does it look like to you, other than a dream? I'll tell you.

This is the perfect set.

The Bodyguard. You, just like Kevin Costner.

There's the beautiful diva at the Cannes Film Festival.

And, get this, you're her bodyguard.

- You fuck her from behind. - [both laughing]

- [Rocco] Nice! - [Gabriele] Look here.

I have a bus coming... from Hungary.

The story has great potential. The set costs nothing.

You can choose four or five of these for the background...

- Who's that? - Oh... What was her name?

- Rozsa! - Uh... Pretty.

Shall we show Kevin how it's done?

- Hm? - [chuckles]

- [laughing] - [Rocco] Great!

[Rocco] Just look... at this dream here.

Over here! Over here!

He's finally arrived, Rocco Siffredi!

Thank you! Thank you! Hi!

- Let's grab a photo? Hey, Gabri! - Here we go!

Dirty dog...

[laughing]

[music continues in distance]

- [Rocco] A toast! A toast! - You are so beautiful.

- Stop me! - Gabri. Gabri.

- [Gabriele] You are so fucking handsome. - You're gonna get us thrown out.

Beautiful! Have you ever wanted to fuck yourself?

- Just as a thought? - [chuckling]

[Gabriele] Rocco! Rocco!

Yeah?

So I have a very special surprise for you.

Mm.

[gentle music playing]

It's Dad...

How do I look?

- Look at you. You look great. - Ah... Mm?

[Rocco] Handsome!

- [father] Well, you know how it is. - [chuckling]

Is Tommaso here?

No, he didn't come with us, no.

[Lai] A black car came to pick them up.

[chuckling]

You should've seen them.

All dressed up in their suits and ties.

[all laughing]

[sniffs] Was everyone there?

Mm.

What a bunch of scroungers. All rats!

They spend their lives ashamed, but then...

when they get a free hotel room,

they go off, dressed up for the... perverts' award show!

Talk about a bunch of rats!

The pervert's award for fucking on camera. Huh?

[all laughing]

[Tommy chuckles]

What'd you call him?

You said it yourself.

[Zoran] Right?

Didn't you hear?

Pervert.

[laughing]

[Lai screaming]

- [Zoran] Hey! - [Lai screams]

[screaming]

[straining]

- [grunts] - [squelching]

[grunting]

- [grunts] - [Lai] Piece of shit!

You're the biggest loser of all!

And the worst rat of all of them!

[Zoran] Burn it down!

- How, Zoran? - Just do it!

[gasping]

Piece of shit.

[awards host] And the Hot d'Or award

for Best Anal Sex Scene

goes to...

Tiffany Sugar!

[Gabriele] Number one!

- Number one! - Number one!

[laughing]

[cheers and applause]

[Gabriele] Whoo!

[whistling]

[host] And the award, Mr. Taylor.

[Gabriele] Whoo!

[Tiffany] Thank you, uh... [chuckles]

Oh my God, um...

I am, uh, deeply honored to, uh, receive this award tonight,

which is the result of a lot of hard work.

[scattered laughter]

Um... [chuckles]

I, um... I love you all so much.

Uh, thank you, I, um,

I dedicate this... to my mom.

[chuckles]

Mommy, this is for you.

[cheers and applause]

For her Mom.

[Tiffany] Thank you.

Ah, her Mom.

[flames crackling]

[haunting choral music plays]

[glass shattering]

[host] And the Hot d'Or award...

for Best European Actor...

goes to...

ladies and gentlemen,

Rocco Siffredi!

[cheers and applause]

- Well done! Yes! - Well done! Well done! Come on!

Go on, Dad! Well done!

Thank you! Thank you!

[whistling]

[cheering]

[whooping]

[soundscape slows and muffles]

- [cheering] - [no audible dialogue]

[soundscape normalizes]

Sorry, I'm a bit nervous.

But I'll try my best to get through this.

[Rocco] There I was, at the highest peak of my world.

There's my family over there. Uh...

They were all there in front of me. My father, my brothers.

As a young boy coming from a... little Italian town,

I never would've imagined that I would win an Oscar...

all for having sex.

- [laughter] - [woman whoops]

That's my boy up there.

[Rocco] We laughed when Tiffany dedicated her award

for her anal scene to her mother.

But I understood her.

She'd given the most intimate part of herself to get there,

and that part belonged to her mother.

Just like my entire life was captured in my mother's eyes.

Every power is cannibalistic.

To step onto that stage,

I had to leave behind me...

[Tommy coughs]

...Lucia, Claudio, even my mother...

Just let me go to Rocco.

...and even Tommaso.

Let me go to Rocco. I want to go...

- [music continues] - [cameras snapping]

[Rocco] But nothing spoke louder than that empty chair.

- [explosion] - [debris clattering]

HOT D'OR 1994 BEST EUROPEAN ACTOR

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[atmospheric instrumental music playing]

A SERIES LOOSELY BASED ON ROCCO SIFFREDI'S LIFE

[bright, atmospheric music playing]

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