Original subtitles

I remember that it hurt.

Looking at her hurt.

Yeah, it hurts.

I don't know.

It does that sometimes.

I

never enjoy anything.

I'm always waiting for whatever's next.

I think everyone's like that.

Living life in fast-forward, never stopping to enjoy the moment, too busy

trying to rush through everything so we can get on with

what we're really supposed to be doing with our lives.

I get these flashes of clarity, brilliant clarity,

where for a second I stop and I think, wait, this is it.

This is my life.

I better slow down and enjoy it, because one day we're

all going to end up in the ground and that'll be it.

We'll be gone.

That's why I think we should fuck.

What?

Well, let's just fast-forward through all the drunk

introduction bullshit we have to look forward to.

I mean, you don't look like you'd be very good at it anyway, and I don't want to sit

here and listen to you bumble-fuck your way through it.

We both want the same thing, to go back to your

room, have sex, and never see each other again.

Are you with me?

Is this a trick?

The offer's about to expire.

No, I'm in.

I'm definitely in.

Do you like that book?

No.

God, no.

No.

It's my idiot brother's favorite book.

Is it yours?

No, no.

It's my roommate's.

I'm not really much of a reader.

Good.

Now come here.

Yes, ma'am.

As I stood there staring through the window into my ex-wife's new life,

I was overcome by the oddest sensation.

Watching her with this man was like turning on a familiar sitcom and realizing

they had replaced one of the lead actors with a stranger.

The show was the same, but the thespian who played William Borgens for nearly 20

years was gone, and his place was a younger, dumber model.

Stop!

Stop!

That's not funny.

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

That's a long time ago.

I love you.

Come on, come on, come on, baby.

I'll be there.

I'll be there for the rest of my life.

I'll be there for you.

Thank you.

Excuse me, Mr. Hóstel.

Yes.

Can I call you Miss Hóstel?

Yes.

Miss Hóstel.

Ms. Hóstel?

There ain't nothin' that I need Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie and chocolate

candy Jesus Christ, there ain't nothin' please me more than you Home, let me come

home Home is where I'm with you Home, let me come home Home is where I'm with

you Home is where you need me Home is where you need me

Home, will you let me take you home La la la la, take me home

Well, let me come home Get it, get it, get it, there you go.

Push that on in.

There you go.

I follow you into the park, through the jungle, through the dark.

Girl, I've never loved one like you.

Yeah, she's here.

Boats and boats and waterfalls, alleyways and paypal calls.

I've been everywhere with you.

That's true.

I've been laughing till we think we're done, barefoot on a summer night.

Never knew it was sweeter than with you.

Home, home, let's think I'm home.

Home is wherever with you.

Well, they said that you have to go back there.

Well, they just said that I think you might have to end up paying for it.

No, but I mean they're going to cancel the whole thing, the appointment.

Uh, yeah, they're canceling it.

It's over, uh, basically.

My book's being published.

Oh my god, congratulations.

Thank you.

Oh my god.

Thanks, Ted.

I'm so proud of you.

What house is it?

Scribner.

What?

That's King's Publisher.

Yeah, no, they're great, great.

We gotta have a toast.

We have to have a toast, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking when I submitted the book.

This'll really piss Rusty off.

It's not because they published books by Ernest Hemingway or Kurt Vonnegut.

David McCullough, Frank McCourt.

F.

Scott Fitzgerald, Bob fucking Dillon.

I didn't know you had dibs on Scribner.

I never said I had dibs.

I meant that I just was... You're just jealous.

Wow.

I'm not jealous.

What an accomplishment.

Your sister's having her first book published, all right?

There's a cause for celebration.

It's what the holidays are all about.

Hey, cool.

You might want to congratulate her.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Geez, I didn't have my first book published until, I don't know, 25, 26.

I'd have been happy to call those guys.

I know them all over there.

No, I submitted it under a fake name and didn't tell

them whose daughter I was until after I'd been accepted.

But I wouldn't have minded.

I know.

I just...

Because you wanted it to be about your book and not about being my daughter.

Yeah.

Okay, well, this is a toast... Psst.

...to you and your first novel, Just Saying Hi.

Oh, it's not Just Saying Hi.

Did they make you change the title?

No, they're not publishing Just Saying Hi.

It's a different book.

What?

I put that aside for now.

I wrote a new one.

When?

Over the summer.

What happened to Just Saying Hi?

You were excited about it.

I put a lot of work and effort into that.

I proofed the manuscript and I... I know.

I'm sorry.

I thought my opinion meant something to you.

It does, Dad.

You know it does.

And yet you turn around and write an entirely

new book and don't think to share it with me?

I'm sorry.

It's burning.

Congratulations.

Why would you let him set that place at the table?

I said it.

He asked me to.

Yeah, well, she's not coming.

I'm about to head over there.

You should come.

Give Dad a chance to cool off.

I'm not going over there.

Fine.

Suit yourself.

I'll tell her you said hi.

You can tell Mom to drop dead.

Whoa.

This food is so good.

I'm glad you like it.

So how'd everything go over at your Dad's?

It was good.

Sam's getting a book published.

What?

That was my reaction, too.

That's great.

I always thought your Dad making you and your sister keep journals was,

um, a little strange, but it sounds like it's paying off.

I can't believe it.

Why is it strange?

Rusty, just let that go.

No, why is it strange?

I just want to know why you think it's so strange.

Well, it just seems like he was forcing you to be

writers instead of allowing you to choose to be.

We don't have to keep the journals if we don't want to.

You'd have to get a job if you stopped.

He pays us to do it so we can focus on our writing

instead of working some bullshit job at McDonald's.

Rusty.

What?

What?

Are you stoned?

Are you kidding?

You're being... Rusty.

Don't be ridiculous.

I'm not stoned.

Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute, please?

I think you're stoned.

Great.

I'm going.

What's gotten into you?

I'm not gonna let that Neanderthal talk about Dad like that.

He didn't say anything about your father.

It's not what he says, it's how he talks about him.

Like he's some sort of weirdo.

Watching football doesn't make you a Neanderthal.

Owning his own gym does.

Okay, enough.

Enough.

Is Sam's book really getting published?

That's what she said.

It's been over a year since we spoke.

I know.

She said to say hi to you.

I don't believe that for a second, but...

It's very sweet of you to say.

I don't know, Mom.

Please don't ever hate me the way she hates me.

I don't hate you at all, Mom.

Good.

You are stoned, though, aren't you?

I thought it'd make it easier to eat again.

Pot and nothing else ever, you understand me?

You don't have to worry about me, Mom.

Yeah, I do.

It's my job.

I cleared the table and started the dishes.

Sorry I reacted the way I did.

I was just surprised.

I thought you were happy with the book.

I was.

I just...

It didn't seem like my book anymore.

It felt like someone else's.

My editorial hand a little heavy for you?

Yes, Dad.

I was... scared of how you'd react.

And I felt guilty because of all the work that you put into just saying hi.

I'm sorry.

I didn't tell you about the other day.

Stop apologizing.

It's my fault for involving myself in your goddamn book in the first place.

Are you guessing that you don't want to read the new one?

Fuck no.

Never?

Well, thank you.

I brought you a hard copy.

Really?

Yeah.

I was gonna sign it for you if you, you know, want it or not, but... maybe.

Leave it on my desk.

Heh.

Wait, um, can I ask you a question without you getting defensive?

What?

Rusty told me Martin called the cops on a prowler the other night.

Dad, you gotta stop doing this yourself.

It's been two years.

She's coming back.

You're completely delusional.

And what's with setting a place for her at the table?

That's fucking nuts!

You know they're fighting again?

Oh, where'd you see that?

Through their window?

Really?

People get arrested for doing things like that?

You're a well-respected novelist.

You've won the Penn Faulkner Award twice.

You can't behave like that!

She's coming back!

Jesus!

At least tell me you've been writing!

Look what you've let her do to you, Dad!

Seriously.

Hey.

What are you working on?

Uh, it's a poem for English class.

Sorry about earlier.

I was being a dick.

It's okay.

No, you were right.

I was just jealous.

I really am happy for you.

It's awesome.

You're gonna have a book published one day, too, you know?

Sure, I know.

Jason hooked me up with some weed.

Roof?

You got your eye on any, uh, girls this year?

Yeah, there's this girl.

Kate, at Vegas class.

Every time I see her, I hear that song, the Beatles

song, I've Just Seen a Face playing in my head.

God, you are so pathetic.

I'm pathetic.

Let me give you some advice.

I can't wait to hear your advice.

It's so awesome.

There are two kinds of people in this world.

Hopeless romantics and realists.

Right.

A realist just sees that face and packs it in with

every other pretty girl they've ever seen before.

Hopeless romantic becomes convinced that God is real.

God put them on Earth to be with that one person.

But there is no God, and life is only as meaningful

as you fool yourself into thinking it is.

Guys who get laid a lot are realists.

You should be listening.

Just avoid love at all costs.

That's my motto.

You've never been in love?

If love is setting a place at a table for someone that's never coming home,

I think I'll pass.

It's fucking depressing, too.

Making students read their poetry assignments in front of

the class is a sadistic exercise in public humiliation.

You could have already been done with it by now, Rusty.

Just read it.

Okay.

Okay, this is a poem I wrote over Thanksgiving break.

It's called School.

It was written under the influence of cannabis.

Okay.

Um...

In the sea of...

This is so awkward.

In the sea of desks there's talk of bags and games and long pipes that leak dreams

with the strike of a match.

And there's a loudness to the whispers I hear.

Whispers shouldn't be that loud, should they?

There's a girl over there who everyone knows and men

without ears who will stand by the door for a price.

In long hallways there are angry mobs of dwarves and rats and one single angel.

A man who has a woman's heart.

Hey, Rusty.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, I, um, I liked your poem.

Yeah?

Yeah, it was really good.

Thanks.

Sure.

How was your Thanksgiving?

Oh, uh, it was good.

It was a little weird.

Like, my parents are divorced so I have two Thanksgivings and one Thanksgiving.

Just like, strange.

How about you?

Just boring, whatever.

That's cool.

Yeah.

Katie!

I have to go.

I just wanted to say I liked your poem, so...

Bye.

All right.

What the fuck is that?

Just a guy from his house.

Come on.

We literally

have 20 minutes, so it'll have to be quick.

Come on, let's go.

Did you stretch?

Come on.

To the left.

To the left, yeah.

Wait.

No.

Yes!

All right, I gotta run.

Thursday.

Be ready.

Yes, sir.

Hey.

Hey!

Hey!

God damn it!

What are you doing?

You scared the shit out of me.

I caught you red-handed.

You're reading my journal.

You promised you'd never read our journal.

I'm sorry.

I trusted you, Dad.

I'm sorry.

That pisses me off so much.

It's evasion of privacy.

I'm sorry, Rusty.

I... I... I... Sit down for a second.

Let me explain.

No, I'm not going to sit down.

Okay.

Okay.

I wasn't reading your journal.

I just... I flipped it open to check the dates like I always do.

And something jumped out at me and grabbed me.

I'm sorry.

Okay?

I'm sorry.

What?

May I?

I remember that it hurt.

Looking at her hurt.

That's it.

That was the opening line of a book you'd have your reader hooked.

They'd have to keep reading.

I had to keep reading.

I'm sorry.

Lottery's not going to get you out of this.

Oh, no.

That's... that's coming to an end right now.

You know Flannery O'Connor?

I know Flannery O'Connor.

She said nothing needed to happen in a writer's life after they were 20.

By then, they'd experienced more than enough to last their creative life.

So?

So what's your point?

My point is...

Sit down for a second, please.

Rusty...

I don't think you're experiencing enough.

I mean, the reason that you're comfortable

leaving your goddamn journal here on my desk...

is because there's nothing you're trying to hide from me in your life.

And that really worries me.

You know?

Sweet, sensitive guys like you, they spend their

entire high school years frozen in place while...

everybody's running around, going to parties, and getting laid, doing whatever.

I don't want you to look back years from

now and think about this girl... Is it Kate?

Yeah, tell this girl how you feel.

Put your heart on the line.

It's not that easy.

It is, too.

It is, too.

Look at your sister.

You can... hey, you can roll your eyes all you want.

Your sister is a great writer.

And it's because she's courageous in her life.

She's promiscuous, Dad.

It's not the same thing.

Rusty, a writer is the sum of their experiences.

Go get some.

Come on, this is crazy.

What are we doing here?

Man, everyone hates us.

Not tonight, they don't.

Not tonight.

What?

Uh, we're here for the party.

What party?

Dude, come on, man.

I'm in, like, three classes with you.

Fuck off.

Okay, but, uh...

What are we gonna do with all this?

Weed.

Oh, that was funny, man.

Come on.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Come on.

Hey, everybody.

Hey.

My boys, uh...

What's your name?

Rusty.

This is Jason.

Hey, my boys, Rusty and Jason, just brought us a shitload of weed.

Your name's Rodney, right?

You mean Rodney.

What's up?

You make sure with Jason that everybody gets some of this, okay?

Where are you going?

I'm gonna go find my friend Kate.

From this chick?

Oh.

I think she's upstairs.

I'm going downstairs.

Forget it.

Dude.

Who are you?

I'm a new and improved Rusty Borgens.

See ya.

With an arrogant smile he shook his head Counting his fingers from one to ten With

a foot like a lion Grabbed the angel And he left for the road A little pause...

and we are back.

Can you give us a fucking second, please?

No, I can't give you a fucking second!

I'm in heat!

Jason, let's get out of here.

Dude, I'm not going anywhere.

Let's go.

I'm not going anywhere!

That was genius, dude!

No, it was a joke!

It was a fucking joke!

Look, if you wanna fuck with me, fuck with me!

Go get the fuck out of here!

Hey, don't walk away from me!

Stop!

No, you're acting crazy!

Quit following me, Glenn!

No, this is my house, bitch!

I'll fire you the fuck out of here!

Oh, okay, big shot!

Listen, I'm leaving, alright, asshole?

Go get the fuck out of here!

Hey, asshole!

All right.

I'm sorry.

Come on.

Come on, Jason.

Come on.

Hey!

Let's go!

Let's go!

Run!

Run!

Run!

I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Dude!

Dude!

Fuck yeah, man!

All right.

Hey, asshole!

Boo!

You can't go home like this.

I'm gonna wreck, mate.

My knees are all banged up and I'm high.

Yeah, we should probably get some ice on those.

You can stay at your house tonight.

Okay.

Hello?

Hey.

Hey, it's me.

Hey, here.

You okay?

Um...

I'm here.

I'm gonna get home.

I fell asleep over... Are you here?

I... I...

Hey.

We need to put our heads together.

Okay.

Bill, I can't sleep.

Okay?

I'm driving around in my pajamas in the middle of the night.

I'm like a crazy person.

I can't live like this anymore.

I can't either.

I've given her space.

I accepted her hatred towards me as some phase that

she's going through, but clearly this isn't a phase.

She has this amazing thing going on with her life now with this book being

published and I can't even share that with her.

She won't return my calls.

She won't return my emails.

Okay, but she's...

She's having a book published, and she's

busy, and it's getting her to return my book.

Bullshit!

She's petty and she's cruel.

Everyone's parents are divorced.

Big fucking deal you get over it.

She fights with me, too.

No, we're not fighting.

That's the thing.

I wish I could fight with her.

Then I'd be an active participant in her life.

She's just abandoned me.

No, I don't think she's... She's abandoned you?

That seems... You are in a constant state of denial about everything.

Bill, she acts like I don't exist.

I haven't spoken to her in over a year, and you're not helping things.

Me?

I haven't said one thing.

I...

You set a place for me at Thanksgiving.

Yeah.

So every time she comes home from school, she

sees you miserable and moping, and she blames me.

I know she blames me.

I know she does.

I don't mope.

Oh, you mope.

You mope.

Say horrible things about me, but don't try to win her sympathy this way.

Hey, I made a promise to you, and I intend to keep it.

Oh, Jesus.

Bill, that was a lifetime ago.

I release you from your promise.

Please.

Go on with your life.

Go get laid.

I get laid.

Great!

You get laid?

Mm-hmm.

Well, then, be happy.

I just want you to be happy.

I was happy with you.

You were the one that wasn't happy.

Well, I'm happy now.

You don't look happy to me.

What?

When you're sneaking around our house at night?

I see you and Martin fighting.

Shut up, Bill.

Oh, hey.

Wait a minute.

Excuse me.

Um, no, I, uh...

I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I wouldn't do that if I were you.

I mean, he sleeps with a lot of girls.

You're practically guaranteed to wake up with a rash.

Thanks for the tip.

Well, I see you getting snared in his web.

You look like a nice girl and all, so... I'm not a nice girl.

Well, in that case, I'm Lewis.

Everyone calls me Lou.

Nice to meet you.

No, okay.

Look, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're wasting your time.

What, talking's a waste of time?

We're not talking.

You're flirting with me.

And you're also cock-blocking your friend.

Huh?

Bon Jovi over there?

He's not my friend.

He's a dick, actually.

I'm just filling in on the base for them tonight, so... You're cute, Lou.

But you reek of romance and good intentions.

I'm not looking for a nice guy.

I don't do boyfriends and I don't date.

All I heard was don't, don't, don't, don't.

Well, don't's keep people safe.

I'm gonna go.

Okay, well, I'll see you in class.

Do we have a class together?

Advanced fiction writing.

I don't remember you.

Oh, I remember you.

You have a book that's getting published.

Your dad must be thrilled.

You know an awful lot about me, Lou.

Your writers are an envious bunch, so...

What's his name?

His name's Pete.

Have fun.

I will.

Cool.

You're awesome.

I didn't know you lived at the beach.

Shh.

Did you just, uh... I just don't want to wake my dad up.

I'll get some ice.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Sure.

Rusty?

Hey, Dad.

What are you doing up?

Who's this?

Uh, Dad, this is Kate.

Kate, this is Dad.

Hi.

Hi.

What happened to your knees?

She fell.

This asshole pushed me.

Really?

Somebody pushed you?

Yeah, but it's okay, because Rusty punched him.

Well, good.

Nobody should ever push a girl and get away with it.

That's a good start, that ice, but we have some peroxide in here.

So you are Kate.

Rusty's told me a lot about you.

He has?

Um...

We hardly know each other.

I just know he thinks very highly of you.

Dad?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Are you staying the night?

Uh, yeah.

That's okay.

Okay.

Your parents don't mind?

No.

All right.

You take the bed, and she takes the couch, or the other way.

You take the couch, she takes the bed.

Whichever one.

Nice meeting you, Kate.

You too.

Good night.

Sorry.

Your dad's nice.

Yeah, he's a good guy.

What does he do?

Uh, he's a writer.

Like a real one?

Yeah.

He wrote a book called Supermonkeys.

Thanks.

And a bunch of books published, and... Whoa!

Well, that's cool.

Is that what you want to do?

Uh, yeah.

I'm a writer too.

So is my sister.

Great books and stories and...

Poetry?

Yeah.

Where's your sister?

Uh, she's, you know, away at college.

Yeah, so I'll just... Wait, um...

Can you stay with me a second?

Please?

Um, yeah, sure.

Come closer.

I don't bite.

I have a question.

Yeah?

Was that the angel on the palm you wrote?

Yeah.

I think you're gonna be very good for me.

Good night.

I love Christmas.

Strike me as one of those people.

I am.

I'm definitely one of those people.

I love everything about it.

I love the lights, the decorations, how TBS plays a Christmas story 24 hours straight.

The presents under the trees, and the looks on my kids' faces when they open them.

Sitting by the fire with my husband when they go to bed.

I get a little depressed during the holidays.

Yeah.

Well, your divorce builds depressing.

Hey, can I give you a little bit of advice?

Just from one fuck buddy to another.

Mm-hmm?

You need to remarry.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

You're not getting any younger.

And if I were you, I would be on every dating website.

Signing up and just combing the newspapers for personal ads.

I haven't been on a date in 25 years.

Yeah, but what is that?

Listen, you're handsome.

You're successful.

You have a mild amount of celebrity, which is really all a writer can ask for.

That's enough to land one of those 20-something trophy wives.

You've really thought about this, huh?

Well, I care about you, Bill.

I know you love Erica, but you married someone else, and you have to start

thinking about your future and whether or not you want that to be a happy one.

Because I don't want to jog by in five years

and find you waiting on that lawn chair for me.

It's a very comfortable lawn chair.

Is it?

Just think about it.

Procreation.

You give to the next one down the line.

That's really all we've got.

Society, government, money, religion, careers, nuclear family, family's monogamy.

These are all just highly creative, socially accepted delusions that we impose

on reality to try and gain some semblance of control over our lives.

It gives us the illusion of choice.

It makes us feel a little less like animals.

Animals?

What do you mean, like evolution?

Yeah, evolution, exactly.

I do not believe in evolution.

There's 400 billion stars in the Milky Way alone, making the

number of stars in the entire universe completely mind-boggling.

We are nothing.

If an asteroid hadn't hit Earth 65 million years ago and wiped out all the dinosaurs,

we wouldn't be here.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go.

Good.

All you creationists do is blow chances at getting laid.

Really.

Ooh, that was awkward.

You've really got to stop stalking me.

I can't even go anywhere without you showing up to annoy me.

Were you hitting on that guy?

It's none of your business.

I think he's a Mormon.

Well, what the hell is he doing here?

He's probably trying to find other Mormon girls.

I'm sure you corrupted him and ruined his relationship with God.

You want to get out of here?

Do you have brain damage?

No.

I think I made it pretty clear that I have

absolutely no interest in going out with you.

No, no, no.

You and I are gonna be friends.

Oh, but I don't want to be friends with you.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna take your jacket.

And you can follow me.

We can get some coffee if you'd like.

Follow me.

I need that jacket.

What are some of your favorite books?

Is that really the angle you're gonna play?

Really?

I thought you'd be more creative than this.

I mean, well, come on, we're writers, right?

Yeah.

Books matter to us?

I mean, come on here, please.

Fine.

What are some of your favorite books?

No, you can't do that.

I asked you.

You asked me because you want to know something personal about me.

If I tell you what my favorite books are, you'll come up with titles you think will

convince me that we're soulmates, or you'll latch on to one of my favorites

and try to convince me that it's one of your favorites, too.

God, you're so tough.

That's why you're obsessed with me.

I'm not obsessed with you.

I'm like a unicorn to you.

You'll do or say anything to possess me.

I'm really not like that, and you're not anything like a unicorn.

Okay, well, then books.

But please at least attempt to be interesting.

No Catcher in the Rye or Portnoy's Complaint, okay?

Uh, well, I write mysteries, so...

I love Elmer Leonard, James Lee Burke, Ed Brubaker.

Who's Ed Brubaker?

He writes an incredible, hard-boiled crime comic called Criminal.

Telling me that you read comic books isn't exactly sweeping me off my feet.

What's your favorite book?

And don't think about it.

Just name the first thing that pops into your head.

Dear Mr. Henshop at Beverly Cleary.

Been my favorite since I was a kid.

Read it like a hundred times.

It's actually what made me want to be a writer.

Is something wrong?

I have to go.

Well, what, um... I have to go.

Did I do something?

Samantha!

You need to see Kelly Jackson.

Samantha, wait!

Come on!

What?

What do you want from me?

What do you mean, what do I want from you?

I like you.

I want to get to know you better.

No!

Why do you keep running away from me?

Because this, whatever this is between us, it can't go any further.

I won't let it... We're not even in the same species.

Is Dear Mr. Henshop your favorite book, too?

I don't do this, Lou.

No.

No, of course not.

You just give yourself away to assholes with infinitely lower IQs than yours.

Hey.

Is your dad here?

Uh, no.

Well, when is he gonna be back?

I don't know.

Maybe in a couple hours.

Why?

Um, I want to give you your Christmas present.

Merry Christmas.

Awesome.

You're welcome.

Where are we going?

To the closet.

Wait.

Wait, why the closet?

Why not on the bed?

Let me open it.

Because...

you've never had sex...

and...

I've never had sex in a closet.

You remember me, and you remember this moment.

And that makes me very, very happy.

Don't you leave

Don't you like when you're fleeing

And I'll not take your kiss Only hold until your coffee warms But don't hurry and speak

Once a time I put a tongue in your ear on a piece.

She's okay.

She'll see it.

How you feeling?

Not too bad.

Don't bullshit me.

You're like a no bullshit detector here.

I'm fine.

Just shut up and read to me.

Okay.

Daily Alice couldn't tell if she felt huge or small.

She wondered whether her head were so big as

to be able to contain all this starry universe.

Or whether the universe were so little that it

would fit within the compass of her human head.

Lou.

Do you see that angel by the door?

Or am I the only one seeing her?

Oh, that's...

Definitely not an angel mom.

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Same thing you're doing.

Help.

Don't be suspicious.

I'm getting a laptop for Samantha.

In fact, I gotta pick out a color.

Why don't you come?

I don't know.

What don't you know?

I don't know if it's a good idea though.

It'll take ten minutes.

I'd love to.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'd love to.

I'm glad I bumped into you.

I'm sure that's what all stalkers say.

No, really.

I've been thinking a lot about what you said.

Really?

Somebody else said the same thing recently.

Someone else asked you to stop hanging around their house at night?

About moving on with my life.

Who was that?

You know Trisha Walcott lives about a mile and a half down the beach?

Yeah.

I remember her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I always suspected you had a crush on her.

Yeah.

She's very pretty.

She's very married.

As I recall.

You're seeing her?

I think I'm a good way for her to kill an

hour after she drops her kids off at school.

An hour?

Yeah.

An hour.

So, um, she thinks you need to stop moping around too, huh?

Something like that.

Here's a confession.

I'm not a great writer.

I'm a great rewriter.

I think about us.

Our story.

And all of the things that went wrong with us.

And I could do it so much better this time.

I could do it so much better this time.

And you left.

Bill...

You've had two books published.

No, no.

They're books that I started when we were married.

I finished them.

But I haven't written anything new.

You are a great writer.

Don't waste all your imagination on me.

Did you hear him?

I'm a great writer.

The other way.

It was great running into you.

You too.

Bill...

I have...

I have days where I'm not sure I made the right decision.

I have bad days too.

I don't know why I'm saying this.

I guess I just-I..I don't want you to think that I don't think about us.

You know?

All those years that we spent together.

Because I do.

I think about...

...everything that I gave up.

I wonder if it was worth it.

Was it?

I gotta go.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

It was so nice to meet you.

Oh, you too, Samantha.

I hope you come back and see me again soon.

I will.

Okay, you too.

I'm gonna walk Sam to her car.

I'll be right back, Mom.

Not so fast.

I made hot chocolate.

It's in the kitchen.

What's wrong with your mom?

She, uh...

She has a brain tumor.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

I can't believe how much of a bitch I've been to you.

I know, right?

Okay.

I don't...

I don't want you to feel sorry for me.

Really.

I, um...

I don't want you to feel sorry for me.

I've enjoyed all of our back and forth.

You know, sparring, it's really...

It's helped me take my mind out of all this.

Well, I'm glad I could help out.

You going home for Christmas?

Yeah, I'm headed back there tomorrow.

Well, I'm willing to forget about this whole stalking incident if you will allow

me to take you out on a proper date when you get back.

Okay.

Is that easy?

Yeah.

I'm not gonna say it again.

Okay.

Oh, um, I actually brought you an arc of my new book.

Oh, wow.

A stalking and a present.

Under the Pink by the Samantha Bordens.

Wow.

Well, I will, uh...

I will read this over break.

Probably loud.

My mom and I have been tearing through some books lately.

No, you can't read it to her.

It's filled with sex and profanity.

Oh, no, no.

She loves sex.

You added too much water.

It's not like you're Martha Stewart in here.

Well, you know, says the guy I'm putting some sugar on.

Hey!

Look at you!

What are you doing all dressed up?

I'm going over to Kate's.

Why does it smell so horrible in here?

I don't know.

These are our cookies.

Yeah, we burned the first bed.

No, actually, the second.

No, no, no!

Sorry.

Oh, my God, Dad!

What?

This is ridiculous!

We burned him again!

All right.

No laughing, Rusty.

When am I going to meet this girl?

I don't know.

Try not to burn the house down while I'm gone.

Drive careful.

I will.

How serious is this thing?

Uh, they're having sex.

What?

How do you know?

Yeah.

Wow!

Go, Rusty!

She has more experience than him.

Yeah, well, who doesn't?

He seems really happy.

At least someone in this house is.

Did you have a frown on my face?

You do seem unusually chipper today.

Have you discovered antidepressants?

No.

Actually, no.

I'm just moving on with my life.

I don't know if it's the whole thing with your mom, and I'm moving forward.

Seriously?

New Year's resolution.

How about that?

Moving on.

Dad?

Yeah?

That's huge!

Oh, flower hug.

No, no, no!

Not on my white shirt!

Ta-da.

I thought you were already getting my Christmas present.

Come on.

This isn't just a CD.

It isn't?

No.

It's a road map to my soul.

It's like if you gave me a favorite book.

Yeah, speaking of that...

Boom.

Oh, my gosh.

Wow.

This is the biggest book I've ever seen.

I know it looks formidable, but honestly, it's gonna be, like, one of the most

satisfying reading experiences of your life.

Is it scary?

Yeah, sure, but it's not just a scary book.

It's like Moby Dick.

It's about everything.

I mean, you're gonna be so wrapped up in it, you're

gonna be crying by the time you get to the end of it.

You cried.

Oh, you'll cry, too.

Okay?

I might have cried.

You're really cute when you get worked up about books.

Hmm?

Mm-hmm.

Do I have you worked up about me?

Yeah.

Because I've got to have you, right?

Yeah.

What about your parents?

Don't they come in?

They don't come in here.

Are you sure?

I'm sure they're not here.

How was your Christmas?

It was good.

Filled with family, you know, loud.

Yeah.

So you haven't mentioned my book.

Mm.

Yeah.

So you didn't like it?

No, no, that's not it.

I liked it a lot.

It's incredibly well written.

The characters are vibrant and alive.

But...

I mean, I knew you were cynical, but is that

really how you feel about love and marriage?

I don't know.

Sometimes.

Oh, thank you.

How much of that really happened?

I made most of it.

I didn't draw that much from my parents' divorce other than the little girl seeing

her mother having sex with the man on the beach.

Holy shit, that really happened?

Yeah.

I mean, I wasn't a little girl.

I was in high school.

My parents were having a party and I was up on the roof.

It was late, and my mom came staggering out of the back of the house with Martin.

And she was all over him.

And I remember Martin saying, what about Bill?

What if Bill sees?

And my mom replying, I don't care.

I don't care.

Hey, Lou?

Mm-hmm?

You make me feel less cynical.

My turn?

My turn.

Favorite TV show?

The Wonder Years.

Oh, all right.

That's nice.

I'm still in love with Winnie Cooper.

Okay.

Favorite song?

Beatles.

Polythene Pam.

Great choice.

Thank you.

Yours?

Between the Bars by Elite Smith.

Play it for me.

Actually, I do have it here.

You're in luck.

Although this is, uh, this really is no way to, uh, to hear a song like this.

Just for the first time.

All right.

Will you at least close your eyes?

Because you gotta block out all this other stuff.

It's really distracting.

Okay.

You're funny.

Drink up, baby Stay up all night With the things you could do You won't But you

might The potential you'll be That you'll never see The promises You'll only make

Drink up with me now And forget all about The pressure of days Do what I say And

I'll make you okay And drive them away I'm so scared right now.

The things that are stuck in your head I know.

I know.

People You've been before That you don't know Around it alone Don't wanna get hurt.

We'll show the world That you're there I'll keep them still I'll keep them still

Drink up, baby Don't forget the stars I'll kiss you again Paint red borders Where I'm

seeing you there Paint red borders With your

hands in the air With your hands in the air

And that's the picture that you want to have up there?

Yeah.

I'm going to trump that, though, real quick,

because you look like a serial killer.

Let's take another one.

Let me show you a test picture.

Let me show you how it's done, okay?

If I were on this website, I'd say, I'd love to go out on a date with you.

Yeah.

Did you actually pay for that?

No.

Can I ask you a serious question?

Are you colorblind?

Fuck no.

You're a professional.

You're a professional.

You do not... No, you know what?

You do not look like you're ready to party.

I think that... Let me just take a look.

Can you be serious with this?

We're not in Cancun.

Eh, no.

That's my favorite shirt.

Don't ever do it.

Come get in this right now.

Let's do it.

No.

Hubba hubba.

Have you had this the whole time?

No.

Why on earth... You are endlessly frustrating.

Oh, I would definitely fuck you in this outfit.

How do you feel?

Hmm.

Oh.

All right.

Okay, come on.

Let's go.

I got two old fools and magazines for you.

I'll bring them over.

So hang your holiday rainbow lights in the garden tonight.

I'll bring a nice icy drink to you.

Let me come over.

I can waste your time.

I'm bored.

Invite me to the water and out of the summer.

No, thanks.

Oh, come on, is this your first time?

End of form?

Ahindua.

I miss you.

You miss me too,eвine.

Sorry.

A little pause...

and we are back.

A little pause... and we are back.

I'll bring a nice, icy drink to you.

And you can wait the night of the summer.

And we'll play G.I.

and Blue.

We'll stand by the pool.

And

can we chime a string?

Can we kill it without it calling on me?

Hey, Mom.

Hey!

We made it.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Kate.

Nice to meet you.

Cataphop!

I'm not in love with you.

But I'm in love with the way you look.

Hey!

Can I help you find something?

I was looking for some aspirin.

I have a headache.

Oh, it should be in there.

I got it.

Thank you.

William!

Hey.

So good to see you again.

Great to see you too, Leslie.

This is my son, Rusty.

Hi.

And his girlfriend, Kate.

Hello.

Nice to meet you.

This was so nice of you to do this for Samantha, really.

This is great.

I would have done the same thing for you if

you'd published Soup Monkeys under my watch.

Well, Bill, I would like you to meet your daughter, Samantha Borgens.

You might think you've met Samantha before, but this

Samantha just received a star review from Publishers Weekly.

And life will never be the same again.

Hi, Dad.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

And this is my boyfriend, Lou.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Nice to finally meet you.

Mr. Murphy's a talented writer as well.

He's my Patricia Hoffman.

Hi, Smith.

Hello.

Smith, can I steal your father for a little bit?

There's so many young writers around here who are just dying to meet him.

He's all yours.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Hey, sis.

Congratulations.

Oh, thank you so much for coming.

And it's so nice to finally meet you.

Sam tells me you're a huge Stephen King fan.

I'm, like, the biggest Stephen King fan in the world.

I love The Stand.

It's, like, my favorite one.

What?

Since when?

I mean, what do you mean since when?

Everybody loves Stephen King.

Who doesn't like Stephen King?

She doesn't like Stephen King.

I don't not...

Let's leave him.

She calls herself a novelist.

She doesn't like Stephen King.

We're gonna... You guys continue this.

We're gonna go.

Girls.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh, two champagnes, please.

How old is she?

Twenty-one.

I wouldn't believe you if you told me she was eighteen, much less twenty-one.

How old are you?

This is my party.

Stop acting like a pussy.

No one's gonna tell on you.

And I haven't even told you about the big tip.

I'm gonna leave you.

Look, as far as I know, you ordered these drinks for yourself.

I didn't even say anything about it.

Let me see your hair.

And here's the drinks you ordered, miss.

Enjoy.

I will.

Samantha!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, don't worry about it.

It's your night.

Have fun.

All right.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your kind attention, please?

You may come forward if you wish.

I have been trying to get William Borgens up here to speak to my class for years.

He's never said no, but he's never said yes, either.

Tonight, I have him at a certain disadvantage.

My entire class is here, Bill.

And I insist you come up here and say a few words.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Borgens.

Your professor, while a very nice man, is a sneaky son of a bitch.

And the reason Leslie could never get me up here to talk about the process of

writing is I'm not sure I have much to say about it that could benefit you.

I still find it all very much important.

It's been a very mysterious years after I wrote my first book.

And I'm not sure what it is that compels a person to continue to play make-believe

even after they're an adult.

My favorite book is a collection of short stories by Raymond

Carver called What We Talk About When We Talk About Love.

And in the closing lines of the title book, Carver says, I could hear my heart beating.

I could hear everyone's heart.

I could hear the human noise we sat there making.

Not one of us moved.

Not even when the room went dark.

And I think that that's what writing is.

It's listening for that beating heart.

And when we hear it, it's our job to decipher it to the best of our abilities.

I'm here because my daughter Samantha's book

is being published, in case you haven't heard.

This is her success.

Is the seat taken?

Lewis invited me.

Well, that was a cow, Kelly Dickerisk.

How long you been here?

I was waiting in my car for about an hour trying to build up the courage to come in.

So that's what 19 looks like.

She's all grown up now.

She's still just a baby.

You gonna talk to her?

I don't know.

I'm scared.

Yeah, she's scary.

She's all I've done with my life and she doesn't want me.

Hey.

You got some courage.

For your job.

Yes, please.

Your favorite book.

John Cheever's The World of Apples.

Can I get you that signed first edition?

That's your favorite book, right?

Well, I really liked it.

Oh, Jesus.

I even told you what to read.

Sometimes.

I'm sorry.

Anyway, she swiped it from my library.

She did?

Yeah.

Could only have been her.

She thought that it was your favorite book.

That's what I had told her.

I think she was hoping to find some piece of you in it.

Hey.

Hi.

Would you sign this for me?

What's your name?

Sam, I don't want to cause a scene.

I'm Lewis, by the way.

I believe we met over the phone.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Yeah.

Name.

Come on, Sam.

Don't do this.

It's okay, Lewis.

No name, no problem.

Guess we'll go with a signature and no personalized note.

Sam.

I just wanted to tell you that I love you.

I love you so much.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

Hope you enjoy it.

Kate?

Kate?

No, it's just me.

Mom, I didn't know you were coming.

You okay?

You looking for Kate?

Yeah, I've been looking everywhere for her.

I can't find her.

Are you worried?

I'm gonna go check in the house.

I'll check in with her.

Have you guys seen Kate?

I've been looking for her everywhere.

I can't find her.

I'm freaking out.

Well, yeah, the last time I saw her, we were at the bar.

I got her a champagne, but that was Asian.

Wait, wait, you what?

You got her champagne?

She's not her age.

What the hell are you doing?

It's not a big deal.

You know, it is a big deal, okay?

Because she has a history, and she has a drug problem, so she can't drink.

No, no, no.

She's a drug problem?

She had a drug problem.

She has the drug problem.

Did you give that girl another one?

What girl?

She said they were for you.

Did you see where she went?

Have you seen her?

I don't know.

She left with some guy.

Jesus.

Calm down.

I don't want to calm down.

She's 16.

She's fucked up.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

We'll find her.

Okay?

Did you look at the guy's ID?

Do you remember his name?

I look at dates, not names.

Oh, she left with Gus.

Who the fuck is Gus?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

All right?

You had no right.

I didn't think that your mom would want to miss one

of the most important nights of her daughter's life.

We are not having this conversation right now.

And just stop following me.

We need to just shut up.

Just shut up.

Look, I'll call you later.

Just please answer the phone.

Jesus, Dad.

This isn't a family vacation.

Hey, shut up.

Get in the car.

You're acting like a child.

Come on, guys.

Number 6 LA.

There it is, right there.

You guys wait here.

I'm not dad.

I'm getting out of here.

Listen, Samantha, you restrain him.

Don't let him out of the car.

Stay in the car.

Get back in the fucking car.

Who is it?

Is Kate there?

Who wants to know?

Hey, shit.

She's a minor asshole.

She's in here.

Okay, where is she?

She's fucking in the bedroom.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Bill, help me.

She won't wake up.

Jesus, what'd you give her?

She was drunk.

Fucking liar.

Oh, fuck.

Coke.

We need a little coke.

That's it.

She'll be fine.

I got her.

Just pass out, I swear.

You'll be expelled.

You'll be lucky.

That's all that happens.

You can't do that.

Is she all right?

Is she okay?

She's fine.

Get in the car.

Get in the car.

Dad, what's going on, Mom?

Just one, Katie.

We need to call her parents.

Do you have their number?

Here you go.

Yeah, that's my phone.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, what's going on?

How's Louis?

Who's Louis?

Why don't you see if your brother's up yet?

You don't need to send me away to go talk to Mrs. Walcott.

I know you two are sleeping together.

They don't know shit.

I know you fucked Trisha Walcott.

Hey!

Go wake up your brother.

Rusty, wake up!

Rusty?

Oh my God.

There's a room for every speck of tile.

There's a thousand more you won't ever see.

You must hold inside yourself eternally.

Go, go, go!

Dear Rusty, I know you probably never want to see me again.

I did a terrible thing to you.

My dad told me you called to see how I was.

As I'm sure he told you, I'm in rehab.

My biggest mistake other than hurting you was thinking you could fix me.

Only I can fix me.

I'd like to become a person who actually deserves to be with someone like you.

I don't know how long that will take, but I hope you're around when it happens.

In the meantime, just know that I'm truly sorry for everything I put you through.

Love, Kate.

Oh, P.S.

You were right about that book.

I cried at the end.

Big time.

I know it's been a rough couple of months.

But you're coming home drunk.

Or stoned.

Every night.

And now you've been in a fight?

Someone must pay back for something that happened last fall.

I don't care.

I know it's your first heartbreak.

I know it hurts.

Nothing hurts like the first one.

But you've got to channel this into your work.

Make something positive out of it.

That's what you did when Mom left.

What?

Is that what you did when Mom left?

Turned it...

You're grounded.

Are you kidding me, Dad?

Will you just chill out?

You can't ground me.

Yeah, I just did.

Okay?

I just did.

You were the one who told me... No journal, nothing.

You were the one who told me to go out and get experiences.

You can't make me write, Dad.

I won't have to.

You're a writer.

You'll do it yourself.

When you were little, you used to run down to the edge

of the water like that when the tide was pulling out.

And then you would turn around screaming when it came back.

I'm letting the ocean get me, Daddy.

I'm letting the ocean get me.

Your mom used to be watching you like a hawk.

She was terrified the ocean was going to grab you and pull you out to sea.

Why are we talking about her?

What are we doing down here?

Your mom loves you.

She never did anything to you.

It's pointless.

I know what you're going to say.

No, you don't.

Those things she did to me, the thing you've been

holding over her, I had already done to her years ago.

What are you talking about?

I fell in love with somebody and I got lost and I left.

Bullshit.

You were just a baby and your mother waited for me.

Shut up, Dad.

She waited six months, Samantha.

And when I realized what a selfish shit I'd been... Shut up, Dad.

She took me back.

It's the truth.

You couldn't tell me, Dad.

Really.

You just let me hate her.

She made me promise that if ever she did something as stupid as I had that she

hoped I'd have the decency to wait for her.

So I am.

I should have told you, Samantha.

I'm sorry.

She waited six months, Dad.

You've been waiting three years.

I think you made good on your promise.

It's okay to stop waiting.

She's coming back.

What makes you so sure?

Because she waited.

And your mother's a far better person than I'll ever be.

Hello?

Sam?

I'm here.

She's dead.

My mom is dead.

I don't know what to do.

Mom is dead.

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

I remember the day you appeared on this earth With eyes like the ocean,

got blood on my shirt From my camera angle, it looked like it hurt But your

mama had a big old smile We drove you home, saw your yellowing skin Packed a few

things and drove you back again Stayed up all night,

worrying, wondering What was gonna make it better?

Broken bones heal when you set them right Get your fine-tooth comb from the barber's

side Our love's a protective poison Well, you are your mother's child And she'll

keep you for a while But someday you'll be grown And then you'll be on your own

Tears will dry if you give them time Life's a rollercoaster, keep your arms

inside Fear, that's a big emotion Well, you are your mother's child She'll keep

you for a while But one day you'll be grown And then you'll be on your own

You'll never be on your own Hello?

Hello?

Is Rusty there?

Uh, this is Rusty.

Rusty, this is Stephen King.

Hello?

Uh, yes sir, I'm here.

Your sister sent me your story.

I've just seen a face.

I read it and I think it's damn good.

I loved it.

Um, your sister sent it to you?

Yeah, I took the liberty of sending it to

the magazine of fantasy and science fiction.

They published some of my stories over the years

and I thought they might be a good fit for yours.

Uh, wow, thank you.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

I think you've got a bright future ahead of you.

Hey, tell your dad I said hello.

I'm a big fan of suit monkeys.

It's a classic.

Keep up the good work.

Wait, uh, Mr. King, don't go.

Just, uh... I'm still here.

Okay, yeah, I just want to...

Uh, I just want to tell you how much your book means to me, but I don't even...

I don't even want to try.

Uh, it's kind of like what you said in the opening of The Body.

Hmm.

The most important things are the hardest to say.

Right, right.

I just can't believe you actually... you read my story and you liked it.

I can't... I didn't say I liked it.

I said I loved it.

Oh, my God.

Holy shit.

It was great talking to you, Rusty.

Okay, yeah.

Okay, uh, yeah, I'll see you, Steven.

You're gonna kill yourself.

You're supposed to have an arm and a shoulder to do that?

Yeah, Dad, I'm doing it.

Love my mom and pa.

That's all I really want, Tom.

Say hello to my mom in there.

Yeah, good luck, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Well, I'll tell you about that.

Don't you think that people don't end up arguing?

It's not funny.

It's actually interesting.

It's a really good short story.

It's a really good one.

It's great.

It's about a detective with Alzheimer's.

You're kidding me.

No, I'm interested in the perspective of his family members.

Here, I'll get it.

I invited Kate.

She might come.

No, but yeah, it should be entertaining.

I think it'll work out.

I think that's actually...

Mom?

Hey.

I kind of pictured your dad opening the door.

Could you shut it and go get him?

Hi.

What are you doing here?

I got a little lost.

I was just... I was wondering if there's still a place for me here.

And I... I completely understand if there isn't, because I know that I really...

I really don't deserve it.

Shut up.

I'm so sorry.

We got food in here.

You do?

Yeah.

Come in.

Hi.

Hi.

Rusty, why don't you make a place for your mom?

No, no.

I got it.

I got it.

Thanks.

Okay, I'll move this over.

I guess you're not... Yeah.

Yeah.

You don't want to move her?

No.

Here, here.

No.

Thank you.

Here.

Here.

Oh, wine glass.

Wine glass.

Okay.

Thanks.

No problem.

I saw my first story.

Rusty, that's wonderful.

That's great.

Uh, it was actually all Sam.

You wrote it.

I just sent it to the only person I could think of who'd actually like it.

A toast.

Okay.

To Rusty.

And to Rusty.

And to Rusty.

And Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

All right.

I could hear my heart beating, I could hear everyone's heart,

I could hear the human noise we sat there making, Not one of us moving.

Not even when the room went dark.