Original subtitles

Oh my gosh. Have you been watching the

Oh my gosh. Have you been watching the

Oh my gosh. Have you been watching the news? They're cracking down on anyone

news? They're cracking down on anyone

news? They're cracking down on anyone who criticizes the president.

who criticizes the president.

who criticizes the president. >> I know. I'm worried about my freedom of

>> I know. I'm worried about my freedom of

>> I know. I'm worried about my freedom of speech.

speech.

speech. >> You mean like if I say, "I don't really

>> You mean like if I say, "I don't really

>> You mean like if I say, "I don't really think President Trump is doing that

think President Trump is doing that

think President Trump is doing that great of a job."

great of a job."

great of a job." >> Shh. You're going to get in trouble.

>> Shh. You're going to get in trouble.

>> Shh. You're going to get in trouble. >> Not me. Because I just signed up for

>> Not me. Because I just signed up for

>> Not me. Because I just signed up for Free Speech Plus.

Free Speech Plus.

Free Speech Plus. >> What's that?

>> What's that?

>> What's that? >> It's this new service from the Trump

>> It's this new service from the Trump

>> It's this new service from the Trump administration. I can say anything I

administration. I can say anything I

administration. I can say anything I want about the president for just $50 a

want about the president for just $50 a

want about the president for just $50 a month. What a deal. Do I pay with an

month. What a deal. Do I pay with an

month. What a deal. Do I pay with an app?

app?

app? >> Oh, no. You just hand $50 to the man

>> Oh, no. You just hand $50 to the man

>> Oh, no. You just hand $50 to the man standing over your shoulder.

standing over your shoulder.

standing over your shoulder. >> Oh, no. I only have $40.

>> Oh, no. I only have $40.

>> Oh, no. I only have $40. >> Oh, that's okay. You can just sign up

>> Oh, that's okay. You can just sign up

>> Oh, that's okay. You can just sign up for free speech plus with ads. I can

for free speech plus with ads. I can

for free speech plus with ads. I can talk as much as I want and every 15

talk as much as I want and every 15

talk as much as I want and every 15 minutes my mouth plays a commercial.

minutes my mouth plays a commercial.

minutes my mouth plays a commercial. >> With gold at an all-time high, it's

>> With gold at an all-time high, it's

>> With gold at an all-time high, it's never been a better time to sell your

never been a better time to sell your

never been a better time to sell your jewelry for cold hard cash.

jewelry for cold hard cash.

jewelry for cold hard cash. >> Wa! That was barely noticeable. It even

>> Wa! That was barely noticeable. It even

>> Wa! That was barely noticeable. It even happens when I sleep. Cool. And here I

happens when I sleep. Cool. And here I

happens when I sleep. Cool. And here I thought just my constitutional right to

thought just my constitutional right to

thought just my constitutional right to free speech was enough.

>> So with Free Speech Plus, there's no

>> So with Free Speech Plus, there's no

>> So with Free Speech Plus, there's no limits to what I can say.

limits to what I can say.

limits to what I can say. >> Well, there are some limits. For

>> Well, there are some limits. For

>> Well, there are some limits. For example, no fat jokes, no dumb jokes,

example, no fat jokes, no dumb jokes,

example, no fat jokes, no dumb jokes, nothing about his little dick or his fat

nothing about his little dick or his fat

nothing about his little dick or his fat angles, nothing about demolishing the

angles, nothing about demolishing the

angles, nothing about demolishing the East Wing or the Nobel Peace Prize or

East Wing or the Nobel Peace Prize or

East Wing or the Nobel Peace Prize or corruption. Oh, and nothing about

corruption. Oh, and nothing about

corruption. Oh, and nothing about Epstein or his little dick. Wait, no

Epstein or his little dick. Wait, no

Epstein or his little dick. Wait, no Epstein's little dick or no Epstein and

Epstein's little dick or no Epstein and

Epstein's little dick or no Epstein and no Trump's little dick?

no Trump's little dick?

no Trump's little dick? >> Both.

>> Both.

>> Both. >> Free speech plus. Free speech has never

>> Free speech plus. Free speech has never

>> Free speech plus. Free speech has never been so guaranteed. Free Speech Plus

been so guaranteed. Free Speech Plus

been so guaranteed. Free Speech Plus does not cover black people, Muslims,

does not cover black people, Muslims,

does not cover black people, Muslims, late night TV show host, gender studies

late night TV show host, gender studies

late night TV show host, gender studies teachers, really good guys, and little

teachers, really good guys, and little

teachers, really good guys, and little college students.

college students.

college students. >> So, what are you going to say first with

>> So, what are you going to say first with

>> So, what are you going to say first with Free Speech Plus? Well, I think Trump

Free Speech Plus? Well, I think Trump

Free Speech Plus? Well, I think Trump >> is the promo code you can use today for

>> is the promo code you can use today for

>> is the promo code you can use today for 25% off your My Pillow.

25% off your My Pillow.

25% off your My Pillow. >> That'll show him.

>> That'll show him.

>> That'll show him. Free Speech Plus. Pay what you need to

Free Speech Plus. Pay what you need to

Free Speech Plus. Pay what you need to say what you want.