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Holy guacamole.
2
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It's hot.
3
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This is Hot Ones Versus.
4
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In front of these contestants is a stack
of deeply personal questions.
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They can either tell the truth. There's
so many cameras.
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Or suffer the wrath of the last stand.
Worse, worse. Whoever eats the most
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loses.
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Dude, that's right for you.
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If this thing ain't rigged, I'm going to
win.
10
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That's what I think.
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Just enjoy yourself. These are great
people. You know what I mean?
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Just have, like I said, worse on the way
out than the way in.
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Enjoy it, you know? It never ends. Yeah,
yeah, yeah.
14
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It's going to be great. Yeah, great.
15
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Due to our work in the Marvel Cinematic
Universe, you and I are often bombarded
16
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with questions about the blockbuster
film franchise.
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Get the comic book talk out of the way
by revealing one spoiler from the
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upcoming Avengers Doomsday. Oh, God.
19
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Just like, yeah.
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Let's go. Eat that.
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Let's go. Just eat it, bro.
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Yes! You see that bite? You see that?
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That's the pride of Massachusetts,
right? Do you see that? He might go in
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another. No, that's not.
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That's it?
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Yeah. You good? Yeah, I'm good. I'm
good. He's also like a chef. He bakes
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I had on the way over here some ragu.
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Short rib. A little short rib ragu I
made for you.
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So, like, he, you know what I mean? I
don't really eat spicy food. Yeah.
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I'm getting nervous. I got a question
for you. Why are you shouting? Yeah,
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you're right. Why are you shouting?
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I'm right here. You got a mic there? You
got a mic there? Oh, man, I'm so
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fucked. Just bring it down. All right,
let's go.
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Just be here together. It's old trauma
from last time, bro. I'm just going to
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one leg circle.
36
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Yeah, yeah. Woo!
37
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You and I are currently starring in Dog
Day Afternoon on Broadway.
38
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Having now worked together across
multiple projects, give me three pieces
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brutal feedback as a scene partner.
40
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Come on, be honest. I don't know, man. I
love you. I love working with you, man.
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I really, I only have love for, I cannot
think, when people are shitty, he is
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the best guy. When things are great, he
is so much, you have so much joy.
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Do you remember the first time you met?
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Yeah. John does. I don't.
45
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Yeah. I understudied him in an off
-Broadway play called The Fifth of July.
46
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Yeah. Every night I got the pleasure of
watching him up there. It was beautiful.
47
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How many shows?
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105 shows or something.
49
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And I never went on once. Understudying
is a hard job. I wasn't understudied.
50
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It's hard.
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You have to be ready to go on, but it's
not really your part, but you need to
52
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feel like you own it. Yep.
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So does that mean I got to eat it? Hold
on. Brutal feedback.
54
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I don't know, man.
55
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You couldn't, yeah. Yeah, I don't have
it. I really don't have anything. Love
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trumps the day. You got to go in. All
right, let's go.
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Love wins.
58
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So now we're tied.
59
00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:05,660
Oh, man, that's fucking hot, man. It's
right up there, Joe. Think it's rigged?
60
00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:06,760
Holy guacamole.
61
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:08,900
Fuck. Ah,
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shit.
63
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:15,380
You're good. Yeah, let's go.
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Tie game right now.
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All right, this is a wild card.
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Enunciation is one of the most important
skills for an actor to master. We will
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now take turns reading tongue twisters
out loud. First one to stumble must eat
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00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:30,060
death wing.
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Lesser leather never weathered wetter
weather better.
70
00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:37,680
How can a clam cram in a clean cream
cram?
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Oh, that was... No, right? No.
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Oh, thank God.
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Boom, that's hot. Don't you think that's
hot?
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Yeah, it's hot.
75
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,180
That second bite was way smaller than
your...
76
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First bite. Yeah?
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Yeah, you're right.
78
00:03:54,020 --> 00:03:55,020
Okay.
79
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Okay. Yep. I'm going to blow my nose
with my napkin.
80
00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:03,280
Every year, my New Year's resolution is
to stop doing this, but here we go
81
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,280
again.
82
00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:11,500
Our new play, Dog Day Afternoon, is
based on a classic Al Pacino film.
83
00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:15,520
Let's see how well you know the Oscar
winner's filmography. I will read plot
84
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,240
descriptions from the back of VHS boxes,
and you're going to tell me which movie
85
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:20,240
it's describing.
86
00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:22,100
Myth 1 and Eda Deathwing.
87
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Well, look at this.
88
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That's really one question. Like, why is
there five things? You know what I
89
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,240
mean? But let's keep going.
90
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,080
Many of his fellow officers considered
him the most dangerous man alive, an
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honest cop.
92
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Serpico. Correct.
93
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Holy heck, yeah.
94
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I saw a 35mm print of Serpico a couple
years ago. Good, beautiful reds. It's a
95
00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:42,970
beautiful boat. It was so great.
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A hotshot attorney receives a tempting
offer from an elite New York law firm.
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But the job isn't what it seems.
98
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The devil's own?
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Motherfucker.
100
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Devil's advocate.
101
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There was no grace extended to me on my
little clam can fumble.
102
00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:03,350
Want to keep going for fun or not? Yeah,
one more.
103
00:05:03,710 --> 00:05:04,710
I mean, why? But sure.
104
00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:10,010
A former drug kingpin has sprung from
jail and stuns the local underworld when
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he vows to go straight.
106
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Carlito's way.
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Carlito's way. Look at that.
108
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Holy shit.
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Holy shit.
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00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:26,000
We have both won Emmys for our work on
the critically acclaimed series The
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You must now prove your industry
knowledge in a round of restaurant
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Fail to properly define one of the,
you're going to get this, one of these
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of house terms and need a death wing.
114
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,780
Okay. I don't know that I'm going to get
this.
115
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Something is out of stock.
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Oh, you're going to say the first part?
Oh, I'm such a dipshit. 86. I'm such a
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dipshit. 86. In the weeds.
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Let's go.
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In the weeds. That means that we're,
like, overwhelmed.
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We're getting buried by order.
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He's fucking good.
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Drop on top.
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Drop on top.
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See, I'm in, like, dog day afternoon
mode. I'm not in. I'm not really in. I
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00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:08,850
think you can think your way through
this one. Drop on top. Just, like, put
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00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:09,850
down on the table?
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00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,350
No. All right.
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How you doing?
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00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:18,710
I'm good.
130
00:06:18,859 --> 00:06:22,460
We talked for too long and my mouth
cooled down and now it's just like...
131
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is that worse or better?
132
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:24,520
Worse, worse. Yeah.
133
00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:28,440
Show us your favorite go -go dance move.
134
00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:30,520
Shut up, you fucking asshole.
135
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000
Shut up.
136
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:35,620
You've worked alongside some of the
biggest ass kickers in Hollywood.
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00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:39,580
Reveal one action movie tough guy who's
all bark and no bite.
138
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,920
I like this one.
139
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Shit. Who's all bark and no bite.
140
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,280
There's so many that I know.
141
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,900
Ah, fuck, man.
142
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:58,180
We could say it like this. Who do you
like? And then we'll say everybody else
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00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,440
that you're not mentioning is
lightweight.
144
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:10,060
I've had the honest conversation with
John so many times. So many cameras.
145
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The pressure of that made me forget how
horrible that fucking thing is.
146
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Holy shit, okay.
147
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:21,840
Okay, okay, okay.
148
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:28,180
You recently caused headlines for your
aggressively antsy napping stance.
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00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:30,220
Bro, it's slow news day.
150
00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:36,390
Look into the camera and apologize for
offending all the nappers of the world.
151
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:40,090
am really sorry about that. And
honestly, that got away from me. I got
152
00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:44,870
against you if you nap. I have zero,
nothing. Like, bless you. I wish I, I
153
00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:51,570
don't really do that. And I don't really
have time for it. And I feel like for,
154
00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:54,230
I feel like you probably, I'm sorry.
155
00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:58,250
I feel like you probably do have
something better to do than nap. But I'm
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00:07:58,550 --> 00:08:00,870
And I don't hold it against you at all.
157
00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:05,210
And I will tell you right now that I'm
going to catch John napping sometime in
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00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:08,790
the next few months. And I'm going to
film it, and it's where we're going to
159
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:09,609
Won't happen.
160
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:13,230
I like to nap. Yeah, I wish I could nap
more than I can.
161
00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:15,510
I'm all right, though. It's tied, dude.
Yeah.
162
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,330
All right, let's go.
163
00:08:18,370 --> 00:08:19,370
Oh, me. Okay.
164
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:24,610
It's tradition around here to put a
little extra on the last wing.
165
00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:27,990
You and your opponent can add an extra
dab to your final wings now.
166
00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:29,370
How do you want to do it?
167
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,630
Yeah, hook me up. Which one do you want?
This one?
168
00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:34,590
Yeah, sure.
169
00:08:34,809 --> 00:08:35,809
That's good.
170
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:37,690
It's not charitable.
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00:08:39,530 --> 00:08:40,329
Which one?
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00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:41,330
I don't give a fuck, bro.
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00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:43,890
Oh, my God.
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00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:49,770
We both have a knack for incorporating
improvisation in our work. For our final
175
00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:53,510
challenge, the two of us must work
together to improvise the dramatic
176
00:08:53,610 --> 00:08:57,630
However, each line of dialogue must
begin with the next letter in the
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00:08:57,790 --> 00:08:59,510
starting with A. Oh, this is stupid.
178
00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:04,750
If we fail to make it through the entire
scene without stripping up, then we
179
00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:07,850
must eat a death ring. If we fail to
make it through the entire scene, what,
180
00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:10,990
you'd like to Z? A to Z? A to Z. Stand
up real quick.
181
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:22,700
Around what time was it that you met
her?
182
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:26,700
Before we get into any of that stuff, I
just think that there's been a long
183
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:30,340
history of both of us being really, you
know, unfulfilled.
184
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:36,560
Catching you with her... Don't, don't.
...killed me. Even though you say you
185
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:41,740
still love me, I don't know how you
could possibly love both of us. For me,
186
00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:43,180
love you, but...
187
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:47,640
I love you in a different way than when
we initially met. Great. That's fucking
188
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:52,680
great. How do you want me to... I don't
know how this is supposed to go.
189
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:58,120
I really feel like you didn't even
appreciate me when we were married. Just
190
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,420
because I was making love to another
woman? Keep the bullshit up,
191
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:06,320
Let's go. See, here we go. Now the
honesty. We're getting to the real heart
192
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,800
it. My fucking heart is breaking.
193
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,160
No, it's not.
194
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,360
Over it!
195
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,520
Please.
196
00:10:13,589 --> 00:10:16,930
Queerness. That's what I'm really
feeling. Queerness.
197
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:21,510
Right now, like, when I look at you, I
don't even recognize the person that I'm
198
00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:23,130
seeing. You've changed so much.
199
00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:24,630
Shut the fuck up.
200
00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:29,810
Time and time again, you told me to shut
the fuck up, and you're like a broken
201
00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:30,810
record.
202
00:10:31,170 --> 00:10:33,110
Unions are supposed to be based on
trust!
203
00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:38,910
Very much so.
204
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,250
Why? Oh, why?
205
00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:43,970
Are you so frustrating?
206
00:10:46,930 --> 00:10:47,930
Xenophobia.
207
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:53,070
Like, I'm just, like, mistrustful of all
kinds of different people, and I'm
208
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,070
putting up boundaries.
209
00:10:54,090 --> 00:10:56,730
You just aren't the man that you
promised me you'd be.
210
00:10:58,230 --> 00:10:59,710
Zounds. You got that right.
211
00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:02,290
Look at that. Look at that.
212
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,230
Woo! Yo, that shit was easy, bro.
213
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:07,210
Let's go backwards. Let's go backwards.
214
00:11:08,390 --> 00:11:11,670
I'll eat it with you both. Yeah, let's
go. That's a double win? We both won.
215
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,480
Oh, man, I'm so happy, Bob. Come here,
you.
216
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:15,639
I'm so happy.
217
00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,880
Oh, we're the best. Yeah, I'm straight,
dude. Yeah.
218
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:20,700
There we go.
219
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,320
Are these the gluten -free ones? Those
are the gluten -free ones. Those are
220
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:25,640
myself. These ones? Yeah.
221
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:27,859
Cheers, buddy.
222
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:30,360
Cheers, buddy. I've got to get this
little actual walk around there.
223
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,260
The wings are great, huh?
224
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:39,220
You guys are going to have to do better,
man. I'm telling you, this is a little
225
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,220
bit of a letdown.
226
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:48,890
Congratulations, Paul. Thanks, John. It
was a pleasure. I enjoyed that.
227
00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:52,070
It's always a pleasure to hang out with
John. Good stories, a couple laughs.
228
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,090
I'm glad that we tied.
229
00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:57,930
He's a fiercely competitive person, me
less so.
230
00:11:58,230 --> 00:12:00,830
But when I saw this trophy, I wanted to
take it home.
231
00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:05,010
I'm glad to be here with all of you,
glad to be here with the artist formerly
232
00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:06,010
known as Evan.
233
00:12:06,170 --> 00:12:11,130
And we're going to be in Dog Day
Afternoon on Broadway at the August
234
00:12:11,910 --> 00:12:16,550
I genuinely love him. I've worked with
him more than anyone else. I love his
235
00:12:16,550 --> 00:12:20,110
family. I know there's, like, you try to
be funny on this. I don't have anything
236
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:24,430
funny to say. I really love Eben, and
he's a great artist, but he's even a
237
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:25,430
better guy.
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00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:28,370
People have turned off this video. Yeah,
they're not using that.
239
00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,030
They're not using that, bro.
240
00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:31,370
Don't worry about it.
241
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:34,550
One more time. Thank you, guys.
242
00:12:35,470 --> 00:12:38,630
People don't think this is hot, bro. I
don't know. Maybe we have different
243
00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:39,970
Holy shit.
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00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:43,770
Mary's going to be so psyched when I
bring this home. She's going to be so
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00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:44,770
up. Good.
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00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:46,270
Why are you shouting?
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00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:49,790
Hey, what's going on, Hot Ones fans?
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00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:53,610
You know you can catch me every Thursday
interviewing celebrities over the wings
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00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:57,650
of death. But if you're looking for a
little more Scoville -laced action, tune
250
00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:01,770
in Tuesdays for Hot Ones Versus. It's
the show where celebrities go head -to
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00:13:01,770 --> 00:13:05,670
-head. They either tell the truth or
suffer the wrath of the last dab.
252
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,250
So tune in Tuesdays for a front -row
seat.
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00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:12,100
to the fiery fights and celebrity
clashes. That's Hot Ones vs.
254
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,720
Tuesday on First Week Beat. Don't miss
it.
20017
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