Original subtitles

(Gentle electronic music) I was working in the two

jobs and someone came in and said,

Downloaded from YTS.MX

oh, you could do stripping and modeling and stuff.

So I thought ‘oh, that would be really good’.

(Gentle electronic music)

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

I'm a model, a kink model.

I do bdsm bondage, I do custom films, and I work for quite big studios.

Everything kink related.

Whatever you like

for all your kink based needs come to me.

Yeah. I would say that the fetish stuff is

getting more popular, actually, if anything.

Yeah, I do really enjoy the shoots.

It used to be lovely when you’d have, like, your makeup done, your hair done.

Because when I used to do it, I was quite like, into it

that I had all sorts of different people messaging me.

I can do whips and canes and all that kind of thing as well.

Chains, gags, blindfolds.

You can have like gimp masks.

I tell you what is built my confidence, my self esteem.

It's made me love who I am, whether I've put on weight, whether I'm skinny or not.

But then it's also given me that drive to look after myself more. Yeah.

Throughout the years my fans have grown and grown and grown,

some have followed me from the very beginning

and some have come in for the last few years

since the magazine edits and things like that.

We live in this weirdly pro sexuality age

where you can identify as anything you please.

I can say that I'm gay or straight or a man or people or anything.

Everyone's fine.

But if you actually start touching anybody or taking pictures of yourself,

touching anybody, that's somehow horrifying and something to be hidden away

and I think that's a real shame because sex is really fun.

It's a great stress reliever, it's a great mood enhancer,

and I think we need an awful lot more of it in the world rather than less.

Yeah, I mean, some people do have quite a negative opinion about it.

They even think that you're a slut, that you, you know, you go around

sleeping with these photographers or you're easy.

You know, some people find it disrespectful

to women that you could be naked or topless,

but I find it quite empowering if you can get paid to do it.

And sometimes if someone's quite mean about it, it's normally jealousy.

Which is crazy because it's flown by.

But it's amazing.

I enjoy it. I love it.

(Electronic music)

(Ambient music)

I was working in childcare.

I was working in a nursery

before I started modeling.

So I got into modeling because I got spotted by an agent

just locally in my hometown, asked me to some photoshoots.

So I went and did some photoshoots.

And then from there he started finding me work.

So I had him by my side for quite a while.

And then once I've got confidence and I was able to get my shoots

and things were just coming flying in, then I didn't use him anymore

and he was happy to then help someone else.

So it was it was really nice

since I was 17,

so about 13 years now. I’m 32 this year, which is scary.

But yeah, I was thinking about that the other day,

about how long I've been modeling and yeah, 13 years,

which is crazy because it's flown by, but it's amazing.

I enjoy it. I love it.

No, I have no regrets.

No, obviously I won't do porn and things like that,

but I have turned it down a lot and I turn it down on the weekly.

But no, it's not something I regret.

It’s built my confidence up. I had no confidence.

I had a lot of mental health and things before I was a model.

I had a bit of a rough background, so actually.

Yeah, it's actually built my confidence and self esteem

and it's made me learn to love my body how it is.

So I do go to the gym and I do keep fit, but at the same time

I still indulge in all the takeaways and the junk food and the alcohol.

So yeah, I've learned to live the best life and the normal life,

but also just to learn to love myself. And that's thanks to modeling.

And so I don't regret it one bit.

I wouldn't say there's been reservations about going into modeling,

but I have had the odd kind of clashes.

Like I said before, about things like

people making fake profiles and taking my photos

and reporting me for things I haven't done to try and bring me back down.

So a lot of trolling, but you kind of get used to the trolling over the years.

So now I just kind of laugh at it.

When I first started going to the gym, I had a personal trainer

and he would train me and I trained with him

for as long as I started getting comfortable with what I was doing.

And then I took it on myself and just did my own workouts.

And I follow a lot of

people on Instagram that do a lot of training

because there's a lot of stuff on there

that you can learn and follow so that comes in handy.

So yeah, I do do my own specific workouts, but for me.

So my shoots are varied really, so I can shoot from anything from lingerie

to nude to art nude to fetish, to all various of styles.

They can vary from

indoor studio shoots to

location shoots, whether it's rivers up on the moors.

They could be on train stations, bus stations in the middle of public,

absolutely everywhere and anywhere.

So they can vary from time to time.

I'm afraid of the needle and the gun, the noise of the gun.

So yeah, I if it was up to me, I'd have a sleeve.

But no, I haven't got any tattoos, so I'm not planning

really on having any at the moment.

So my, at the moment, my typical start to shoot is art nude.

So going to places and doing artistic poses, balancing on

rocks and rivers and things that are very beautiful and scenic

and just adding natural art nudes into it.

I'm doing a lot of fetish stuff at the moment,

so a lot of queries on like foot fetishes stuff,

bondage, whips, chains, ties, pvc

leathers and things like that.

Yeah, I would say that the fetish stuff

is getting more popular, actually, if anything.

Yeah, I would say so.

For me at, the moment it seems to be pvc

and being tied up,

I don't know whether that's because I look like the sweet, innocent girl next door.

So seeing the other side and with whips and things like that.

So yeah, it's quite dominant isn't it.

So it's quite nice for them to see.

That's what they want to see.

Yeah. So I fetish work and I do art nude.

I won't do any open leg stuff, I don't do

porn, I won't do full frontal nude.

I kind of like the thought and idea of of leaving something to the imagination.

So I think if your boobs out and everything else is enough to see

so I like to kind of keep it stylish, keep it

kind of artistic and classy.

So it was probably a few years ago now, I did a photoshoot

with late photographer that sadly passed away,

so we did a studio shoot for a group, photographers

group of models, and we did a vampire shoot.

So I was the victim and we had seven female models

from the south-west and we all got together and we had hair

and makeup done costumes, and they suck the blood out of me, basically.

And it was great fun and it was nice to have different photographers around.

So we were doing all sorts of different things.

But yeah, it was, it was really fun and it was just different and yeah,

and it was nice to meet other models

because you don't really meet other models unless you're shooting together. We're

all in the same area or you've purposely reached out to them to talk to them.

So yeah, it's quite nice to actually interact and meet other models.

Yeah, it was like a Halloween theme.

And then he used it for his billboards around his studio

for advertising and things to get people that did different types of photography

and recording and films and things like that.

It was kind of a track for things like that, and it did and it was great.

So generally when I'm doing modeling, they,

the photographer, tell me exactly what he wants

for the images, or I will ask like, what are you using them for?

And generally is advertising.

A lot of it is for advertising.

The shoot is their shops, their products, their clothing.

It'll be posters, billboards, calendars,

their own private posters.

So so they sell private posters and things like that, private footage.

So if anyone requests sites, certain foot things or certain fetishes

kind of style stuff, then we can put that into the shoot

and then they buy that off us as advertising from the company as well.

So it's yeah, it all links in somewhere along the line.

Yeah. I've had photoshoots where I've been asked to do work with feet

so I'm not really a foot person but for the job and the photographer

and what they want, then I will do it.

Yeah. Put in peanut butter, between my toes, beads, necklaces between my toes

squidging, my feet in, like.

Like, you know, I can't explain it under the sand or the sand under the sea.

Kind of like, the grime

but things like that.

So yeah, so weird feet things at the moment.

It must be Dartmoor because of all the views

and the scenery and all the animals.

So it's a beautiful place to be shooting.

And they've also got lots of hidden rivers and beautiful spots.

So you get some beautiful places to actually go and see.

We are in Tiverton right now.

It is very scenic.

It's a beautiful river.

Yeah, it's somewhere that you could easily shoot either in the water or above it.

There's lots of flowers around, so it's lovely.

Yeah. Every photographer has what he's specifically looking for.

So whether normally it's a point of they will say, you really suit my look

and the style I'm looking generally because I'm a blank canvas being natural,

no fillers, no things like that, no tattoos.

So generally it's harder to actually find those types of girls these days.

So that's just what they're looking for.

So it be that sort of thing.

Having the girl next door look kind of helps and then having

that kind of sinister side to it is just a winner really.

So yeah, different photographers, different styles, different ideas.

And after shooting, after a while, you kind of bounce ideas off each other.

Anyway, so it kind of works really nicely,

generally through either my

emails or through the modeling sites.

Either that or through word of mouth.

They will get my number because I have got a separate number for my modeling.

And so they will contact me for that and say who they've got my number from

and whether or not it's okay if that's okay.

And can we shoot?

Yeah, I do get photographers that will say, would you do art nude?

And I say, yes, but I won't do open leg or full frontal naked.

And they go, yeah, that's fine.

And then on the photo shoot, they're like,

oh, well, would you put this, would you do that?

And like, open your legs against the wall.

But I did do one risky shoot recently and a fire issue

and I was fully nude, I was open leg and I had the flames in between my legs

so you couldn't see anything.

So it was kind of like the it was the vision of

and the imagination of it, really.

But yeah, that was good fun.

But no, nothing.

I would just keep doing.

So I had this photographer who basically

I was booked for a up to lingerie shoot.

So up to lingerie only and throughout the shoot

he was giving little compliments, which is nice.

A lot of photographers compliment you and keep you out of shooting.

You have a lot of banter and it's great.

This photographer was a bit too... Like

if you bend over like little bit more, I can see this and it's like,

all right, mate, go on, you’re meant to be professional.

And then it's like, oh, can you take your bra

strap down? I'm like, okay.

You know, I'm still covered up.

So what's the difference to a little bra strap? And then it will be

can you undo the back and just hold the front?

I was like, yeah, okay, that's fine. So still covered.

So did that did back shots, front shots.

Absolutely fine.

And then it's like the sleazy comments

good or your body is absolutely amazing or you're gorgeous.

So I bet guys fall for you all the time.

And I was like, I'm a little bit different level here.

And then it was a case of, oh, could you just drop one bra cup?

And I'm like, no, no, sorry, it's not what we're doing.

And then it's a case of, oh, well, what about showing a little bit of thong?

Okay, I'll do that, I’ll show a bit of thong,

you know, it’s still lingerie and all that.

So I did that. That was absolutely fine.

And then after a few, he was like, ‘would you pull the thong to the side?’

and I was like, ‘no, like, come on!’

so I was in a seductive, all fours pose, basically.

And he was circling me, which is fine.

I’m in lingerie.

And then he was basically saying to me,

could you move your back just in this way to the left?

But the way he was explaining it was not a normal way

you would have a pose.

So he was like, do you if I just move you a second?

And I thought, okay, thinking he's just going to touch a part of me or something.

But he didn't. He put his hand on his stomach

and on my back and like glide his hand across my back and across my stomach.

And I was like, that's just too much.

That's like, that's touching me and moving me and asking me to move certain ways.

I suppose there's a limit when you're stroking me

and just gently brushing me and know that it's just too much, just too far.

And then he asked if I'd move my thong to the side and I was like, ‘that's it.

I'm done with this photo shoot now.

You know, it's kind of like

we have been doing this an hour and a half, 2 hours or so.

So let's kind of wrap this up.

And then I think it was about, oh, two weeks later.

So I was talking to the photographer and he was asking me about

other girls that have said of other things, other models and asked me

what kind of things happened.

So I explained it and he said, look, I have got something to tell you.

Last week I was at his studio and I was working alongside him.

But he isn't using your photos for what he said.

So it was meant to be for a calendar and doing something else.

And he wasn't. He was actually using it for his own personal use.

And from then on I felt really grossed out because at the end of day, photographers

that professional, they get in their work for certain things to do certain things

not to play with themselves over.

I'm sure at some point that happens

maybe in editing and things like that, but so did know that blatantly.

He's got me in for a shoot

and then tried to push my levels and then just that kind of thing.

Yeah. No, it's overstepping the Mark.

Do you know what? I think models only actually talk once they crossed on shoots.

So if you've done shoots together

or group shoots and things like that, then yeah, a lot of you stay in touch.

But a lot of the time, no, generally models don't really talk.

I think it's very a very independent thing unless you're working together.

Yeah.

Yes, I would consider art nude to be artistic.

It's more about the body form

and appreciating the art of the body and how beautiful the body is.

And everybody's different.

Everybody looks different and everybody really should just

love themselves and actually go in there and make it artistic.

Use your body.

And there's so many beautiful surroundings to add to that art as well.

So my friends and my family have all known what I've done

because I've done it for 13 years.

They've all kind of got to grips with what I do.

I don't think anyone really surprises them any more, but that's great.

Yeah, I think there is a stigma.

I do get some men that will just message me again.

They'll send me a picture of that, you know, and just like fancy a play.

I'm like, no.

And I just kind of remove them off the site.

I just get really rude, kind of suggestive stuff.

Or I had literally this morning I had someone saying,

even though I have a Mrs., I would be at your door every day.

And I was like, well, that's not right.

No wonder women are insecure. See you later.

And so yeah, there is that kind of attachment.

Oh, you get you get naked.

So you must just have sex with anyone or you must just do porn

or you must do everything.

It's like, no, there's, there's a limit for me anyway.

Yes, I throughout the years I've gained many fans,

some nice, some not so nice,

some a bit too sordid for me, shall I say?

But yeah, generally they've stemmed throughout the years so

and some have stayed all throughout the 14, 13 years and stayed in contact and

and just followed me on anything that I'm on and then some are new

like come through Instagram,

through other modeling sites and things like that.

And yeah, there are a lot. Too much is I feel mean

because I can't always reply to everybody, but I do try my best.

Yeah, I get a lot of compliments.

I get a lot of people in my inbox. It's very hard to keep up.

So some people think I'm very rude and not replying,

but actually I have a busy life, so it's hard to reply to everybody.

But yeah, I do get lovely compliments and then I get people like,

oh, would you try this next and would you do that next?

And I'm like, well, if it comes up then I'll mention it and see what we can do.

And I try to meet everybody's wants, needs and desires if I can,

but I kind of I've got to try and keep a personal private life.

So like I love modeling, I love what I do.

I love keeping everybody entertained and keeping everyone going.

But at the same time, I kind of need my privacy.

Am my life separate?

Yes. I've had various stalkers I've had to change

my number quite a few times and I've had hackers.

I've had people report my profiles and things like that, dating sites made of me.

I've had all sorts people messaging my friends, but luckily they know me.

So they're like, you know, this is going on.

Yeah, I do.

And I've had the odd photographer that's been very seedy,

very touchy feely, wanting to push levels.

And I just basically I'm just I won't take no shit.

I just say it how it is and no, sorry.

I think my friends and family are very supportive of what I do.

I think like them, they're they love what I do.

So there are some parts where they think ooh has a bit risky,

but they just say to me, just be careful because of it

can come back to bite you in the future and little things like that.

But generally they're very they're very supportive and

they know exactly

where I am shoot and who I'm with and they know what I'm doing.

They know the sort of styles, so then they know the sort of person I am.

So they kind of used to that.

It doesn't surprise them that I've gone into it, if that makes sense.

Yeah, modeling pays well. In the beginning, no.

So in the beginning you do a lot of TFP CDs so time for print CDs.

So it's collaboration work.

So you do a lot of free photo shoots.

The photographers

get to keep what you've done and then you get to keep copies of what

you've they've done, the final edits and you kind of build your portfolio up.

So over the time of your photo shoots, you're building your portfolio up

and then once it's at a substantial stage, you then can start

making your charges and your prices and kind of start in that way.

But yeah, it pays some bills, it pays my clothes, it pays for extra

things and props for shoots that I can think of that the photographer might not.

So yeah, I'd say it pays well once you're in it and yeah, enjoying it.

I would say be careful of photographers, check them out, check out their reviews,

check out their photos that they've done previously because

that makes a hell of a lot of difference when you see the differences

in their photos,

I would say

always tell someone where you're going for a photo shoot.

I would say definitely always tell someone where you're going.

Who the photographer is and contact information for that photographer.

Always tell a family or friend member the time you're getting there,

when you're leaving, when you've got home, so that there's a lot

of safety precautions

that because at the end of the day you are alone, you are a female or a male

and you are meeting somebody you've never met before in the middle

of nowhere or wherever you meet them, and there is a high risk.

There are a lot of risks in modeling.

So it is a very dangerous game, really,

especially when you're young girl meeting a man

in the middle of the woods on your own and getting naked.

So yeah, modeling is there is a danger side to doing modeling.

Yeah. Yes.

So I had a particular I've had a few experiences over the years,

but the main one that's always stuck with me was, a job

that I got offered, I was only 18 so it was like new to me.

I was, I wasn't even telling people where I was going.

It was, oh, I've got a photo shoot and oh, it's in this place.

And I'm doing that. And that was it.

And then I'd speak to

when I got back and oh, we did this and tell them all the great stuff.

And then there was an incident where I was planning a shoot

with a photographer and we had planned it down

to the tee from outfits to where we would shoot in the hotel name.

Everything was down to the tee, so I had no questions about it at all.

And then it came to the week of the shoot and I was waiting for the flight details

and that was the only thing I was waiting for.

So I was just patient and just like waiting.

And then it came to the day of the shoot

and I was trying to ring them to try and say like, ‘come on’.

I’m meant to be shooting.

Like when is this flight? Is it even happening?

And I started to get a bit suspicious and then I had a phone call.

I had an email first asking to contact the company

that I had been registered to that the photographer had contacted me on.

So I had an email first,

but then they contacted me on my mobile because it's linked to the website

and the company itself asked me if I had left yet

and I was like a bit confused, but I was like, no, I haven't.

I'm waiting for some confirmation details.

And they said, well, please don't leave.

We're glad you haven't left.

The people on the other end have actually been arrested for trafficking.

I was in shock.

I did not know where to put myself.

18 years old.

I said to my mum, I'm going France for a weekend for a shoot.

It's amazing, doing beach shoots.

So doing all of this and then I just wouldn't have come back

and I don't know what would have happened and I don't know where I would have been

or what kind of kind of things I would have been doing.

And I don't want to think about it.

But yeah, definitely put things into perspective for me when I'm doing shoots.

So all details are always given to somebody in my close family or friends

so they know exactly where I am and what I'm doing.

Yes, I do get the odd little superfan and yeah,

they send me things and they’re always there to compliment.

Always on my photos, always in my inbox.

And it's just little things like little compliments.

Like, you look beautiful and I wish you were mine.

And if I wasn't with my wife, I'd be with you every day.

And then I get the sordid ones that.

Oh, if my girlfriends at work right now, can I come round?

And I'm like, no, you can't, mate. Sorry.

Yes, I get the dick pics, the body pics, all the shower pics,

all the wanking videos and they're like, I wish you were here right now.

I'm looking at your photos.

I'm just I just ignore him.

I'm just like, yeah, okay, just push that aside.

It's not is.

No, it's not what I'm there to do.

I'm not there to entertain them in that way.

I'm there to produce my work and if they like my work, then

that's for them.

It's not for me to be doing that sort of stuff.

So I'm currently having a website being made.

This is so that all of my stuff and all of my products and my images

and everything that I do over the years can all be on one platform

without being reported from trolls, without being deleted,

without any complaints and things like that.

So is going to be coming out soon, it’s nearly finished.

So people will be able to see you'll find me on there.

I will be putting links on my social media accounts

and on my modeling profiles and things like that.

And that will be up and running hopefully before the end of the year.

So that's I'm looking I'm excited I'm looking forward to it

everything from out the scenes

different styles shoots I've done different creations.

They will get to see other photographers

other studios I've done behind the scenes edits.

I've done some questions and answers

because over the years there's been a lot of questions.

Other girls and other lads actually have asked me about modeling,

so there are a lot of things I've answered on there for them as well.

There is a chance for them to contact me if they want to, not just the bookings,

just the queries and questions I'm happy to answer.

And then yeah, there will be like a section where it's a bit more private,

so anything that's a bit x-rated will be in a

in a private area for people to subscribe and look at separately.

I really enjoy modeling.

I love it.

It's something that I didn't think I would.

But if I got spotted and I'll tell you what is built

my confidence, my self esteem, it's made me love

who I am, whether I've put on weight, whether I'm skinny or not.

But then it's also given me that drive to look after myself more.

It's made me think about how I how I look after myself with my exercise

and things like that.

So yeah, I do enjoy it.

There have been several times over the years where I've I've stopped

gone, you know, I'm just going to stop now, but I end up back

like I think the longest I stopped modeling for was about eight months.

And then literally photographers were in my inbox like, oh, let's shoot,

I'm not doing it.

And then after a while I was like, I'm back.

I can't, I can't not.

And then, yeah, so, yeah, love it.

I love the fetish and the lingerie.

I am one of these women that loves lingerie.

So you get women that buy shoes and handbags and makeup. I buy lingerie.

My mum moans at me all the time because she says, where does all your money go?

I'm like,

I've got a shop's worth of lingerie.

So yeah I yeah, I do.

Dating is a challenging one I'll say, is the word, challenging.

So it's it's easy to date but when it comes

the long term it is hard because they have to really trust you

they have to not have their own insecurities of around trust.

And in this day and age, I think nearly everybody has a trust issue of some sort.

So it is a case of they have to really trust

that you're not leading these men on you are not sneakily meeting people

and doing anything that you wouldn't do normally if you were in a relationship,

which I don’t so is totally separate work to now.

But yeah, dating is hard because a lot of men just can't deal

with the fact that their friends or their family members

may see you naked somewhere and or in raunchy things somewhere.

So yeah, it is a challenge to date when you're

a model.

My friends and family love my career. They think, go for it.

You look how you do.

You do what you do. You love it.

Why stop? Go for it.

Enjoy it. My mum.

Sometimes because I'm in my 30s.

My mum's always like, aren't you going to have kids?

Aren't you going to settle down and get married?

And I'm like, yeah, one day maybe.

Yeah, but I'm just I'm enjoying my life.

I love my work, I love my modeling and I love what I do.

I love my friends, my family.

I'm very active.

I'm always out kayaking or doing something.

So yeah, sorry, mum, but maybe one day.

But right now, no, I'm.

I'm quite happy with how I am.

Sometimes people stereotypical me because I'm a blond and a model.

So there we go.

That one on the when someone messaged me.

So yeah there are times when I will get the odd

message, like, do you do anything other than modeling?

And I'm like, in what sense?

And then it will be like do you do private videos?

Or something sexual or it will be, do you have another job?

And then they when I tell them that I have a very rewarding

and very challenging and very good job, people are very shocked.

They go, oh, wow, okay, so you're not just a blond model.

Then I'm like, no, I have a career. Love my career.

I'm very passionate about my career and my career is in helping people.

And they're like, oh, well, it's nice to see you've got a heart.

Oh, right. Come on. Not all

models are very self-absorbed, but and it's all about them.

And I do more than just modeling.

So no, I do have my heart in my career and I have heart in modeling.

Yeah. Throughout the years my fans have grown and grown and grown.

Some have followed me from the very beginning

and some have come in for the last few years since the magazine edits

and things like that.

So yeah, I've got a variety of fans.

I got fans that send me little means and gifts and little things

and I've got friends that are very sexualized and send me

the dick pics and naughty videos and tell me what they're doing and

but I'm not really interested in any of that.

I kind of just ignore that side of it.

But you're going to get that in modeling.

It's not taboo is it? It's there.

So it's just something that you either enjoy and play with

or you just ignore, which to me I just ignore.

But yeah, I've got the general fans and then I've got fans that have literally

a waiting for anything that I'm doing next.

And they ask me all the questions about my shoots

and what sort of thing you wearing and are you doing any extra sales?

Like, could I ask a request and then can I buy a photo?

So that sort of stuff happens.

Well, so I'm more than open to things like that.

And then if me and the photographer are happy,

and he's got the time, then we'll throw in extra stuff

and then we'll sell it to them for whatever.

Social media has gone massive in the last ten years.

Everything is through social media.

So back when I first started modeling, modeling was more

about joining agencies, getting an agent looking for the work.

And but you've got to be careful there because a lot of agencies

will be actually fraudulent and they'll look legit and then

they'll say, yes, you've got the potential to be a model, send us some shots,

and then they'll go, yes, we could use you, send us some money.

No, you don't ever send money.

Never send money.

If they want you, they're going to take you.

They're going to use you. So don't ever pay.

But yes, social media is massive out there.

It's easy for a young girl like they are making their own photos,

doing their own edits, wanting to be a model.

And they're aspiring models, really, aren't they?

Because that's what they're really wanting to do.

And if that's the case, there's so many photographers out there

now that are on social media advertising their work.

It only takes 5 minutes to send a message and ask, look, I want to do modeling.

I know it will be free.

Or do you mind? Could we do a shoot, please?

I wouldn't mind trying and seeing

if I like it or message a model and say, look, do mind.

I'm like, I really like your work.

Can I come to you with a shoot? Can I watch?

I kind of want to get a feel of whether I'd like it or not.

It's always worth an ask. The worst that's going to happen.

Is they’re going to go. ‘No. Sorry.’

and then you ask the next one.

There's so many out there, so much social media out there.

It's a lot easier to be a model, but it's a lot more harder

because so many girls and boys that want to do it.

(Ambient music)

Well, basically I was working behind a bar and nursing in a place in Chelmsford

and I was working the two jobs

and someone sort of came in and said, oh, you could do

stripping and modeling and stuff so I thought that would be really good,

just as a one income as opposed to the two that I was doing.

So I started doing a bit of page three modeling back then

and I started to do some sort of like showgirl stuff as well.

So, well, first it's a bit daunting because I don't really know,

like you have to get an act together to do the

showgirl stuff.

Getting in front of the camera wasn't too bad.

I sort of quite enjoyed it flashing off the boobs

was fine. I was quite comfortable doing that.

But yeah, no, it's really good.

And it was good having the income coming in at the end of the week as well.

So yeah, I enjoyed it.

Sometimes it feels quite empowering.

I feel powerful because I'm in control of the crowd sort of thing

and on a shoot it does make you feel quite sexy.

So yeah, it's quite good.

At first was the financial side and then I enjoyed it

so much I just started to do sort of like a leg fetish.

I did like leather pants and stockings and tights.

So it just, it just all sort of progressed into other things, really.

So yeah, yeah.

For the feet fetish and the leg

fetish and tights and shoes, there's quite a lot out there actually.

And there's weird things just walking around

fully clothed, a bit of tissue hanging out of your

top, there's quite like, you know, quite weird things that, that you can do.

Yeah. Some of it can be quite funny.

Like sometimes people want it to be sort of quite domme in front of the camera

and you have to talk to them and that can be quite funny.

Probably the tight one really, because you have the tights on

and just like pull them up and it just didn't look good.

But obviously someone's got a fetish out there for that.

But yeah, that was quite funny.

Yeah, they're very supportive about it.

When I first started doing it, my dad was really supportive.

My sister was doing a bit anyway,

so it was kind of not really a shock to them,

but then it's obviously about

when you find boyfriends that they love it at first,

but then they sort of get a bit funny about it.

Once they're in love with you, that's a big problem then.

So yeah, a relationship side with men is hard.

So yeah, yeah.

So basically back in the day I was on a couple of websites

and you'd get messages from photographers on there doing like

group stuff, like you

do sort of a camera club and stuff like that.

And then yeah, you just have your pictures up on there, know your stats

and what you're happy to do and what you're not happy to do.

And they messaged you have assignments that they've got

and obviously if it's paid, sometimes it's time for print.

If it's like exciting stuff, I don't mind doing time for print.

A lot of it is mainly paid work.

So basically you'll give them your time and they have your pictures

and they'll give you some.

Back in the day, they actually give you print outs of them

or a CD or obviously on a hard drive or something.

Yeah, I do really enjoy the shoots.

So used to be lovely when you have like your makeup done, your hair done

because when I used to do it, I was quite like into it though.

I had all sorts of different people messaging me.

I might go on to London, get all my hair and makeup done

and it was lovely getting pampered, and then to sit in front of the camera

and would do like exciting stuff

like role plays and stuff like that was really good.

Yeah. So I used to do a bit of page three for the sport and the daily star.

I was in those, which goes along to building sites.

Actually, there'd be a couple of girls, two or three girls.

Sometimes I'll be on my own

and we'd just have a group shot with the builders with our boobs out.

And that was a real good laugh

because they'd be picking you up and stuff like that.

I've done a bit of TV work or did like a documentary

sex after marriage, where the ladies wouldn't feel very good about themselves.

That had come along to a photoshoot, watch it and have one done their self.

At the end of it.

I've done a bit of babestation TV, so I presented on there

and that was all really good.

Yeah, it's quite funny actually.

You'd get like a lot of people

just asking you to show your feet or grab your boobs or wiggle about.

Obviously it was only up to topless and I was actually married at the time

and my husband, his best mate to call in, to get me to do weird things.

So that was good.

Yeah. Yes, it's paid really well, but it'd be long hours I think.

Then we get there that 9 o’clock and not finish til half past three in the morning.

Then by the time you travel home from London you get to bed to like five.

So it was hard work but it was really good money to add to what we were doing.

Yeah. So the TV work, you could actually do

two or three nights a week, which was good

because obviously fitting everything else in.

I gave up doing nursing and the bar work within

about sort of three or four months of doing the modeling.

Once I got quite a few photoshoots booked in, I gave up and just did that

full time and then become a stripper at the weekends as well.

So, so I do birthdays, stags.

Sometimes you get booked by the wife to go along to do someone's birthday

or even for the stag do, you’ll turn up and there'll be a group of stags there.

And they don't know you are coming, so you're dressed as like a police officer

and used to do schoolgirl, but don't really do that so much anymore.

Army outfits.

So turn up, basically do a little bit of a dance for the guy

and then put him in a dog collar, lead him around, give him a whip

cover him in cream, just basically for the stags.

It's all humiliation.

Rugby boys are good, but

footballers, they’re always a little bit don't want to be humiliated.

And then, yeah, it's just like sexy dancing and having a laugh really

it’s all good fun.

So a good funny one is...

We went along to these guys.

Obviously they booked a stripper, but they expected more.

So our clothes and everything was in one room.

We ended up running off out the window, got

into my friend's car, and a car wouldn't start.

We're like sitting in the car trying to get away from them.

But the best are when you've got the nan sitting in the corner.

They come up and they absolutely love it.

And then old people absolutely love it.

So I basically get the guy up, do my sexy dance,

and then I'll stand him up, pull his pants down

so you can't see the front, because obviously

sometimes you do have like the mum there or the wife or something.

Let's pull the bum out, draw like a little funny face on their bum.

Then I'll whip it and then I get shaving foam

and with the shaving, if I might draw a sad face

and then pull their pants up and squish it everywhere.

And then sometimes they like, lie on the floor and I'll get cream

and just squirted all over them.

And yeah, it's just it's more of it.

And sometimes you get glitter that's going to stick to them all night.

So you put that on them and yeah, it's just more, it's more of a funny thing

the strip-o-grams. I have done lap dancing, but it wasn't really for me.

You'd be hanging around for hours and this is like when I was really young

and you sort of hang around and have to sort of really hustle for your money,

whereas with the strip-o-grams you're booked in, you go along, do your job

and you know, you can get quite a few in in one night really.

Well, the page three ones were really, really good

because obviously they're not be in the paper.

So that was quite nice.

And we'd always have fun going on the building sites that would be really fun

and just shoots really where I've done like of theme, like the other week

I did like a sort of a xena warrior one with a sword that was really good

and a boxing one, which obviously I really love boxing inside boxing.

So that was good. They, they stick in my memory,

but yeah, then

once basically I was asked to do some naturist cleaning,

which is obviously going in someone's house doing some cleaning.

So I put a little Molly maid outfit on and, basically stripped down

during the cleaning for that. That was quite funny.

I some rubber gloves and I was just scrubbing away.

Not really. I think basically when I've gone along to photoshoots,

if they are a bit slimy or sometimes they can be move

your arm and they'll come along and move it.

And obviously if I've done topless, they'll actually try to move your boob.

But I just slap their hand and say ‘what do you think you’re doing?’

I'm straight away to them.

What's what sort of thing. And with the stripping as well.

You get a lot of people touching you and one time we was doing

like a show and I was walking around collecting money for like a raffle.

It was doing some guys slap my bum, so I've just turn round,

slapped him and he fell off the chair. Got to put them in their place.

I like

I used to be a nurse nursing in A&E and stuff like that and in care homes.

So I really enjoyed that.

So I think had it been better money I’d have just stuck at that, but

when I got offered to do this, it would become fun and good money.

So it's a no brainer really.

Yeah so for

like basically I'll do a bit of webcam as well.

So when I log on I have certain people now I'm on on that time

or they messaged me off line with the stripping over the years

we'll go to someone every single year or you'll get a group of lads for a stag.

You'll go along to their stag party and then you'll see like three or four

other guys along the way.

So yeah, that's really good.

Yeah. So I have got a regular domme that basically

I do

little video for probably a couple of times a week really.

So that's quite good.

And then I've had people sort of send me gifts and buy me stuff or do a photoshoot

and they've given me gifts, which is quite nice.

No, it's just a private guy that just basically

I've got my hands behind his back and pretend I'm his sub.

Yeah. So

I need to get back on the cam

because he messaged me last night, but I was out and said, could I go home?

And like, basically call him sometimes he sits on there.

I basically charged him £70 for sort of 35 minutes and then it goes up.

I'll say, oh, time's up for ever going to have to go.

And he goes, oh, I'll go again and again and again.

So yeah, sometimes it's really good.

Well, five years time, obviously I'll probably steer off the modeling,

but I would've made enough money to have got a nice house.

I've just sold a house.

I mean, at the moment and setting myself up now. Really.

So in five years time, hopefully.

I mean, quite a nice house for me and still look.

Okay.

Yeah.

So do you plan to still be modeling.

If the offers there

yeah, but obviously, yeah, I'll keep myself well groomed as long as I can.

Yeah. So obviously my diet, I'm obviously we’ve just come out of lockdown now so of

it's not as good as what it normally is because I'm doing sort of five classes

a week, I walk a lot and I'm quite strict on my healthy diet,

but I do like bit chocolate and wine, which obviously doesn't help sometimes.

Yeah. So I try to do like work out five times a week.

I also do quite a bit.

Of Thai boxing and boxing, which is very

good fitness and it's really enjoyable other

than standing on a treadmill, looking out the window thinking,

but no, it's really exciting.

I do quite a bit of sparring, I've done a few competitions with it, so yeah.

So that's, that's fun because it's something I like to do, to keep fit.

Yeah. I think to be a model, your mindset has got to be

you're going to turn up, some guys are going to be a bit seedy.

You've got to kind of be strong minded

and you've got to stick to the levels that you want to do

because some girls will go along to a shoot aiming to do topless

and then end up doing open leg or, you know, all sorts of stuff like that.

And obviously in stripping and stuff like that, you get offers,

but in your mind you've got to think, I'm not going to be happy about it.

At the end of the day, is it going to haunt me?

I mean, personally, I really don't mind anything topless.

Art nude’s fine. With the stripping

I'll go in and it's fun.

So I really enjoy it and I don't have any regrets about anything I've done.

But yeah, if you're looking, get into it.

You've just got to be really strong minded in, you know, and really confident

to say to people ‘no, not doing that’ and you know, just be set

with what you're going to do and what you want out of it

really like.

Obviously I like to talk to a photographer before I go along

and even with the stripper grams I’ll call people up have a chat with them and say,

you know, look, this is how it goes.

Anybody misbehaves, we are going to leave.

And the same with a photographer really. I will speak to them.

So, you know, you know, basically double check that they've booked

what they say they're going to book.

But still, you can turn up and they I mean, generally everybody's lovely.

You don't really get a lot of seedy people.

But if you turn up and they're sort of like watching you get changed and,

you know, and then they're starting to be touchy

feely, that's when you know someone's going to be a bit of a handful

and you've got to be safe.

You've got to take someone with you or you've

got to let someone know where you are because.

You know, I've heard all sorts of horror stories of girls

that have gone along

and some of them

got drugged in their drinks, like I would never take a drink of somebody.

I don't really know if the photographer was like, oh, do you drink?

I'm like, ‘it’s okay, I've got one.’

because I've known girls to get date raped and stuff like that.

So yeah, you have to be very safe.

And you know, sometimes you have to be a bit paranoid, really.

But yeah, so it's good to let someone know where you go.

Don't take any drinks and.

Yeah,

yeah, I do actually really enjoy it.

Um, it does make you feel sexy.

Can make you feel a bit conscious about yourself.

Like if you haven't trained hard enough or you're not feeling great,

you've pigged out a bit, sort of thing.

If you do sometimes

feel a little bit conscious, but other than that it's quite enjoyable.

If you've got outfits you feel good in

and it looks like good outfits on the Internet

you want to model in and stuff like that, it can feel really good.

Yeah. So basically model modeling can be for anybody.

There are voluptuous women out there that are a bit bigger,

that guys have got fetishes about,

you know, they get quite a bit of work.

There are some like girls out there are quite slim.

There's like muscly women.

Every guy's got a type.

So there is work out there for most women if they're confident to do it

and feel sexy.

If you've got like a Barbie doll type or the bigger women, yeah, that's there's

work out there for people if you want to do it.

My favorite shoots are basically like themed ones.

I like to dress up and I like to do a role play in costumes, anything like that.

Really. They're my favorite ones.

Yeah. I mean, some people do have quite a negative opinion about it.

They even think that you're a slut, that you, you know,

you go around sleeping with these photographers or you're easy.

You know, some people find it disrespectful

to women that you could be naked or topless,

but I find it quite empowering if you can get paid to do it.

And sometimes if someone's quite mean about it, it's normally jealousy.

But yeah, some people have a negative

opinion or some people are quite supportive,

they have a positive opinion and they're happy for you.

But yeah, it can be quite a negative world

for you to go out and say to do it and to tell people that you're doing it.

But you've just got to be confident in yourself to to know that you're doing

what you can.

Okay, yeah

so I actually work in genetic research, been doing that

for about a year and a half, and I've always been

into kind of like bdsm and that kind of thing since I was a teen.

And then now I feel, you know, I love that.

I love modeling.

So why not put them together?

Well, when I was a kid, you know, getting into stuff,

just the normal kind of vanilla stuff

was like, come on, literally, you know, you just, like, experiment.

You know, you try a little bit of spanking, a bit of that, and you're like, oh,

actually that's a little bit of a sparkle, I suppose,

to that.

And then it just kind of developed from there,

I guess

Perth in my opinion.

I think that's quiet vanilla and you kind of get

you get people who are like all I'm like super kinky, right?

And then you get out a like a rope or whip or flogger or something

and they're like ‘whoa!’, and you’re like

okay, so we're more adventurous rather than kinky.

And then you get some people who are a little bit like less modest

and then like, oh yeah, you know, I like, like a couple of things.

And then they go grab a flogger

and you're like, ooh,

so I have to really do it after half four

because I do get holiday and I can't get time off.

It's just I have to be very careful about working around it.

And I also

have to be careful about what goes online

because it's a, you know, respected establishment.

You know, I can't have pictures of my boobs

flying.

So I'm very strict with the photographers and on what site I post things on.

But apart from that, you know, if I have to book a day off,

I do one and three weekends like I'm working on that.

So flexible.

Um, I just, yeah, just have to be super careful.

So yeah, yeah, it's more of a hobby.

So I was signed when I was a teen.

Um, I got scouted by an agency in London, but

it was interfering with my studies with a levels

and I just had to stop because, you know that expect you

to go from casting to casting to casting, and you might get one, you might get two.

Who knows? You know, you might not get any of them.

And you spend the entire day just traveling around London.

So that was tricky.

But, you know, I'm a part of a small agency in Colchester now

that's going well,

and I think that's the kind of the biggest that I would go.

I much prefer freelance because you just get the freedom

and I can work around my work.

I had thought about it before, but

it wasn't until I got stopped is when I actually thought,

oh, actually, you know, maybe it's good work, you know?

And I went to my first photoshoot.

I'm not going to lie.

I was so nervous, but it was really rewarding.

You know, you were not really sure what to expect.

And then afterwards, oh, this is cool.

So it's just a portfolio building basically.

So I had to go into the studio and this photographer basically

just told me what to do

and I went with it.

We had different outfits, we done different poses,

and then afterwards he gave me a CD

with all the pictures and yeah, it went well.

Like, I've still got the pictures now.

They came out really well and I'm really pleased with them, you know.

And then

after that I had to go to like a boot camp, basically.

And it tells you all

the different techniques like break the joints never stand straight on.

And then he says the number one thing about modeling is it's still acting.

So if you want to pretend something's funny, literally think of something funny.

If you want to be sexy, think about time you had a

really good time.

You know?

And it will come up on your face.

Um, and literally, it blew my mind.

And ever since then, all the kind of the poses come on naturally.

And it just kind of flowed so much better.

Like now when I'm doing shoots, it's rare that a photographer

has to tell me what to do.

I definitely have a constant train of thought going in my head.

Like, not so much.

What pose am I going to do next?

Like click, click, click, but more.

What am I thinking?

How am I feeling?

You know, and then just being aware, like, what is a camera seeing?

Like if you have your foot, like all the way over there,

you're going to look like you've got a troll’s foot.

Just.

Mindful of things like that.

Or like, don't put your head down

because then it gives you a big nose, that kind of thing. So

You.. I don't know how to explain it.

You just have to almost pretend like it's just not even there

and kind of put it out

of your mind. Like, imagine

a driving test, but it's your best friend

instead, you know, you're just driving along with your best friend.

I know, it doesn't matter.

It's just his best friend, you know, why worry?

You know, if you if you mess up, then it's a funny joke.

You know why it doesn't matter.

Like, I think the thing that I have in my head

there are millions of people in this world

Jerry from New Zealand, isn't going to care

what I do, so just do it.

That that's my thinking anyway.

So I do mainly like bdsm and that kind of thing.

So it can be like whips

and the marks and the like have photos marks

I can do like whips and canes and all that kind of thing as well.

Chains, gags, blindfolds.

You can have like gimp masks so you can have like total

sensory deprivation.

So literally you cannot see or hear

anything and you're just sitting there like.

So yeah, I model as a sub

but in real life I'm a domme, but yeah, I mean, it's good.

And like with ropes and stuff you get shabari and that's like

when you get like totally restrained kind of thing, like suspended and stuff.

And that's cool.

That's really cool.

Bdsm is very, very popular, literally

oh, my god.

Like, you just talk to someone who seems completely

normal and like, for me, like I have a very innocent look.

I am a dark horse. I'm the definition.

Then you talk to someone, you're like, oh, my god, like, you like it as well.

Like, what is this?

Like, what is this black magic?

But yeah, I mean, I would say maybe one in four,

maybe one in five are into at least something kinky.

I say it's actually more

rare that's correcting for someone to be completely vanilla

rather than someone kind of kinky, you know.

I quite like wax shooting.

So you get a wax, you melt it all over and you can do all sorts.

And I'm a bit of a masochist, so that kind of

burning sensation is quite bad.

I mean there's been a couple of times that,

oh, hot

no, actually, I mean, never use beeswax.

Beeswax will burn the absolute crap out of you.

Um, yeah, that, that's my, my advice.

So this was done in my flat on my sofa.

That was cool. That was.

I really enjoyed that one.

That's the same shoot.

So I tied my own hands and that's my dog lead.

And then we just literally just got a vape and then blew smoke over.

I'm kind of glad that I smoke effect, and that was cool.

So there was a photographer called Stephen

and basically we got, um, I was holding like a cane, I had a corset on

I had to be like domme. I had this really black make up on I had a

it’s mine, it's a dog collar with a little link and then link chain to it.

And like he was pulling it and that kind of thing.

And then we found like wax and stuff.

That was really cool.

I really, I think because we clicked as well, like

you meet so many different people during the shoots as well.

Like, that's another aspect I like.

And you know, so many people,

so many different people, like so many different things.

And that, yeah, the shoot was good and we got on really well.

So yeah, one of them.

So I was like leaning down with a corset on, I had my dog collar with a chain on

and I like really, you know, grabbing my hair and

you look back, and you’re like, ‘oh damn!’

so yeah, I was really pleased that one

that was outside that one as well.

It was raining, so wet.

Was it cold then?

It wasn't windy, but it was definitely

it was getting to me by the end of it.

That one, a little cheeky boob.

A bit of bum. That’s just a normal one.

Yeah.

That one’s nice.

Just chilled. Yeah.

And then I got like rope ones as well.

That Japanese one you said

yeah, shabari.

Is that shabari?

Yeah.

And then the proper shabari is when you like, completely suspended off the floor.

But you’ve got to be careful

not to get any of your organs, because that can go wrong.

So anything kind of not showing

I suppose bit pg is on purple port

anything you know anything that I'm

sensitive about.

I suppose we go on adult folio, I have to be super, super careful

because my work, I cannot have anything like at all.

So I've got a different name

on purple port and a different name on adult folio as well.

And my adult folio is they have to be verified

and it's all watermarked as well.

So yeah, I mean,

especially with bdsm, like you're just just two people enjoying

another part of their life, you know, it is just the same

as anything else, you know, like horse riding, for example.

You know, like it's no different,

you know, it is a shame.

It is a shame.

But I think

it's a stigma that's going to take a while to change.

I don't know what like even now and people are, oh, what do you do for job?

My oh, I work in genetic research, but

I’m like...

Yeah.

Um, I mean,

people think that modeling is

you just sit in front of the camera and go la-de-da-de-da

when actually it's not that, you know, there's technical things behind it.

You've got to think about

your facial expression, your poses and how it comes across to the camera.

I mean,

maybe you, you do get

some people who think that, oh, yeah, I'm going to be a model

and then just sit there with like a straight face the whole time.

You know, just let.

Go. And then then they realize actually

there's a lot more to modeling and it's tiring as well.

Like constantly having your head, you know, like

a different you try to play back, a different memory,

a different feeling and all that kind of stuff. And,

you know, it is is mentally exhausting

and may not be physically, but definitely mentally.

And then, you know, at the end of it, you have a chat with them as well.

So you know the whole day it socially as well.

But I enjoy it.

I mean it's worth if you enjoy it, it’s 100% worth it.

Yeah. That was the hotel and I had rope around the neck and all that kind of stuff.

And do you normally wear glasses?

Yeah, yeah. Those are my glasses. Yeah.

Same shoot, with the nipple clamps as well

holding the chain that one was with Stephen.

Um, that one again

hold the cane biting the cane with a corset.

That was cool.

That’s my bum cheek!

That's the one, you know, holding grabbing the hair.

That's cool.

And then that's my dog collar and chain as well.

I mostly have people come to me,

but I do travel more than happy travel, so I drive them.

I traveled to bedford the other day.

That was cool.

Going to Milton Keynes tomorrow.

I have a shoot in Southampton coming up.

The one in Southampton is on a boat.

That would be cool.

Looking forward to that.

And then, yeah, I've been to a couple of locations as well

that’s so fun, literally like it's a thrill as well, you know

being a bit naughty on location and like, you

have to like, keep a lookout and if someone comes

I kind of just like passed it off

so, um, I'd like a see through dress on.

And I had a kind live up to my waist and I just kind of like,

chucked it down and I just put the hand up like, yeah, I’m just posing normally.

And normally I'm just like, yeah, this is a normal shoot.

This is a normal shoot.

It's this liberating.

Like there's nothing to hide.

Like, I'm not even kidding.

I really want to go to a nudist beach.

Like, it is so different because when you're in front of the camera,

you're another person.

You're. It's almost like you're acting or your alter ego or something like that.

You know?

Whereas like a nudist beach, like, that's real.

Like, I want to see how I feel because it's just going to be

a totally different experience.

Yeah, I suppose I'm the version of myself that I want to be,

you know, like for some reason, if I'm in front of the camera,

it's like someone's just gone, right?

Okay, go.

And then my shell just goes, crack open.

And I don't know, I can't explain it.

It just happens, you know.

They’re supportive, you know, they see some of the photos and they’re like, oh.

Okay.

But they're open.

You know, they're like, okay, well, it's your thing.

I'm not going to judge if you enjoy it and keep doing it.

If it brings you joy, then doesn't matter.

If I had a if I got a partner and

I just tell them and I'd say, this is me, take it or leave it.

And if you don't want to take it, then ta ta.

I might tone it down a little bit.

Yeah, sure.

But I'd never stop it because I'm very independent,

you know, like, I'm going to sound so cheesy, but I don't need anyone.

I'm happy, you know.

There’s a big difference between models who want to

be in bdsm because they think they're going to make

a lot of money and models who are in it because they actually enjoy it.

And I'm definitely one of those because I actually enjoy it.

And, you know, people pick up on that so quickly

like, you know, you pull out a whip or something and they go, whoa!

And you're like, well, but how would you how would you cope with

a cane?

I'm not in the scene, but it's definitely a big part of my life.

Like, I don't think I could be with someone

completely vanilla.

I mean, I'll be open, you know, and see if they want to

come into it slowly.

But if they were literally just plain Jane kind of ‘inbetweeners’

you know will from ‘inbetweeners’ kind of thing.

It's like having just a sponge cake, you know?

It's all right.

You can have it once or twice, but really, you want the jam in the middle,

you want the cream, you want the strawberries, you know, and I.

That's kind of the bdsm.

Um, I've always kind of just taken the submissive or a switch,

and then, I don't know, just recently,

I actually know you do that.

And then ever since then, I was like, actually, I like this one much better.

But no, basically,

I think the most I get

exercise is I have new rocks

because I'm quite like gothy by nature or like big platform boots.

So they're like kind of that thick and they're really heavy as well.

So really like, tones your butt muscles.

And I, I jiggle my butt when I brush my teeth like that to all my friends.

And it's all like I joke the fact that I giggle my butt

when I brush my teeth.

So I go into that school in Croatia

and I've got the

place for three years and after then it would be deferred.

So I'd have to take a science test, but that's fine.

So I want to buy a place here and then I want to change

the mortgage, buy to let so the rent, the mortgage is covered.

Go over to Croatia, study vet for four years, come back,

and then hopefully I would have enough money to pay for it

and then just keep going because that that's the main reason

why I'm doing it, because it's just so expensive.

It’s €4,000 a term or something like that?

And there's three terms for four years.

So I tried for UK schools and I had the grades, but then they put them up.

So then I just

missed it, which is frustrating.

But I got into Croatia, Slovakia,

America, but Croatia was my favorite,

so I took the place there and see what happens.

I'm hoping this is a long term

plan, maybe about ten years, because then hopefully I'll have a partner.

By then I'll have kids old enough so I can explain to them while moving

and then they can go to school there.

Um, and then maybe they could pick up a second language as well,

because I can't speak one, but it would be really cool if

my kids could, you know.

So I've been playing piano for 19 years and I've just picked up drums again.

So I played drums for eight years, dropped it for,

I don't know, ten years maybe.

And I've just started

doing it again and I'm in a band called Scarlet du grade.

I'm the keyboardist and I am the priestess.

We're a gothic industrial band, so I don't know

if you've heard of adora bat brat, but she is like a huge goth icon,

and I would dress like her on stage, so that would be cool.

And we're going to have kind of like a

an occult kind of feel like we don't want anything religious or anything like that.

But that kind of following, you know,

we're going to do old fashioned like when we've got a gig coming up,

we're going to put actual, like physical posters

and stuff like that, and that'll be really cool.

And then our lead singer Nathan is just nuts.

So we're going

to really put on a show as well as a performance.

So yeah, I'm really looking forward to

gigging again.

Just dare to be different, you know, don't go for this esthetically

pleasing, narrow tunnel, but you know, be you.

And if it's weird, then that's fine

because that's you, you know, like I'm fucking nuts.

And people know that.

Like if I, if I go up to my friends at work and I go, oh,

guess what I done, or you'll never guess what I've been thinking.

And they always go.

Uh oh, like.

They never know what's going to come out of my mouth

so I went to work two, three days ago

and they're like, what is that on your bum?

And I was like, ‘yeah, that's a cane Mark.’

and they’re like ‘why?’

I'm very much a person who believes in

going inwards and reflecting

and facing your demons head on, you know,

like accepting them because I feel,

because I have PTSD, I feel that

in order to overcome them, if you look at them

straight in the face and accept it, it has less power of you

because then it's not the huge thing that you're trying to battle.

It's this thing that you're like, well, you're annoying,

but I'm going to cope with you because I can't do anything else.

You're not going to go away, you know,

and like because of that.

So like the nights out, like I'm always the bodyguard.

I am the

cock block of the group, you. Know?

So, yeah, I definitely

facing your fears dead on.

Definitely inspires me.

And I think that's the reason why I got into, like new stuff as well.

Because, you know, before.

Oh, my god, that was terrifying me.

My absolute ideal shoot would be with either Victoria Lovelace.

Christinia one and only or adora brat bat.

And they are like big, big goth icons basically

because they're my favorite.

You know, adora oh, she's just nuts and she knows it and she owns it.

You know, like in her video, she's like, ‘can you ever be more goth?

No. Put more, more.”

Yes. Queen. Hmm.

(Ambient music)

My name is Melissa Todd,

and I am a dominatrix, disciplinarian, depending on your preferred terminology.

And I'm a model, a kink model.

I do bdsm bondage, I do custom films, and I work for quite big studios,

and I offer 1 to 1 domination sessions. Everything kink related.

Whatever you like, for all your kink based needs.

Come to me.

I've been modeling now for 26 years.

Incredibly, I started when I was 19.

I began lap dancing at the windmill in piccadilly,

and quite soon after that I had, like, talent scouts

come in and ask me to do modeling for magazines and videos.

Increasingly so, yeah.

Very soon after that, I began doing modeling and found I absolutely loved it.

I was asked to go to the the janus shop in old Compton street,

as was now sadly gone.

And I was auditioned in the back room by an old man pulling down my pants

and give me a good, hard spanking.

And I was so sweetness and I still am.

I went, oh, okay.

I just bent over for him and he gave me a good whacking.

Oh, yes. You've passed your audition. Well done.

So I started modeling for janus and fabulous magazine and privileged plus.

And then I started making videos for him as well.

And it just sort of progressed from there.

It was never really a plan.

I never plan anything,

but I just found it something I could do and I thoroughly enjoyed.

And you meet more people in the industry and you just get offered more

and more opportunities and suddenly 26 years has passed, oh, that wasn't the plan.

But okay, I'm very rich and happy.

So, you know, they are worse fates.

The windmill is a famous place, you know, we never close.

There's been films made about it with will young, I think.

Yeah, it's been going, I think, since the forties.

It was the first place, I think, to show nude women in London, at least,

although they weren't allowed to move, they had to stand up to be still like

statues and be naked that have moved on since I got there in 1995, I think.

Yes. So they were doing table dancing,

£10 for table dance, £20 for a fully nude dance, which had to be on stage

so incredibly strict. They're even stricter now.

You have to stay three feet away

for table dance, which was only down to your underwear,

and then you had to go on stage to show anything more.

And I went there and I auditioned.

I saw an advertisement, in the evening

standard, saying dancers wanted you will make up to £600 a night.

I thought, well, that sounds a lark.

I like dancing, I like money.

So I went, turned up and and I was wearing legwarmers

and a leotard because I'm an idiot, as I say, incredibly naive.

And all the other girls, of course, had nipple tassels and thigh high

boots and hold ups and, oh, okay, that kind of thing.

So I didn't get the audition the first time,

but the second time I went back

and I had the nipple tassels and the thigh high boots.

And that time I got the job and just loved it, absolutely loved it.

I was incredibly nervous. I was so nervous.

What the hell am I doing? It was horrifying.

And I was waiting for a punter to pay me before I could even go on stage.

And I was desperate to talk to all these men.

I was so shy and scared and I didn't have the right language

to sort of get men interested in me at the time.

So I was just watching all these other girls, all these beautiful goddesses,

you know, lips and tits and confidence and just oozing sexuality.

Hello.

And I thought, I can't do that.

I can't do that.

And then the DJ called my name

because we all had to do a free dance, I think once an hour or something.

Just get on stage.

It's like we have Melissa without the tattoo to the stage.

That was me.

And so I just had to get up and do it and I really thought

I might pass out or vomit on stage, which would not have been appropriate.

It wasn't a kinky club, but I didn't.

As soon as I was there

and all eyes were on me and the music was pumping, it was Madonna.

I just found I could do it.

And I mean,

I wasn't brilliant to start with, but I had a good go and I got much better.

There was a pole. I got quite good at the poll.

I'm very flexible. So I was doing splits up the poll.

I was absolutely loving and I got off stage on such a rush.

It was just better than sex, better than anything.

I was giddy with joy.

I thought, I want to do this for the rest of my life.

And so far I've managed it.

That was really the start of my professional career.

Before that, I've been a care assistant for a year, I think.

But yeah, I was studying.

I was at university, so yeah, that was my first proper job,

if proper of the word kind of.

I read philosophy, politics and economics very useful, and I didn't like it.

So I dropped out after a year

and decided to become a lap dancer instead, as you do.

And I went back about three or four years later and did an English degree,

which suited me much better.

And then I did a master's in creative writing, which I thoroughly enjoyed,

and then when I decided to audition, I didn't really give it any thought at all.

So I can't honestly say I had many reservations.

I didn't really know what I was getting into.

Yeah, I was just too stupid, naive really, to understand the repercussions.

I remember a friend of mine saying, oh, you know, this is a sex job.

You'll never get out of a sex job once you start.

You know, you've got to be really careful what you want it to.

Shut up. You know, this will be a hilarious anecdote when I'm an old lady.

Oh, I did this funny thing for six months.

I got my tits out in the middle of London. You wouldn't believe it.

But of course, he was right. You never get out of sex job.

He was Russian. That's why you talk like that.

Because it's just

too much fun and the money's too good and too quick.

And you just get accustomed to having a great, thick wad of notes

in your purse all the time and not having to worry about money

and also just being happy and, you know, wearing sequins

and dressing up and drinking champagne free every night.

So if I'd realized what I was getting into,

I probably would have thought about it a bit longer.

But I never dreamt that this would be my life forevermore.

So yeah, so far, I suspect I'm going to die doing this

because I'm good for nothing else, honestly.

And there's quite a gap in my CV now.

‘So what have you been doing for the last 25 years?’

well, funny story.

You can read all about it. Yeah.

Should I?

I mean, I told my mum what I was getting up to.

I said I was auditioning, she was in showbusiness, she was a dancer.

So she was very supportive. Actually. She it was a brilliant idea.

I yeah.

No, I didn't really.

I just thought it would be a lark. And it was.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm very lucky, I think.

Very trusting and very lucky so far.

Yeah. My family and friends all know what I do.

I was always kind of out as a sex worker, but I've come more out

in the last few months. My son has always known what I do.

He's 20 now from the age of about seven.

I was very honest with him.

I said, I'm doing 1 to 1 domination sessions.

At that point, he knew because there were canes all over the house.

He thought it was fun.

So my mum knows, my husband obviously knows.

Yes, I like talking about it, so it's not something I've ever had to hide.

I realize I'm incredibly lucky.

You know, a lot of my friends do have to hide. They're terrified.

They're was hiding their phones and feeling anxious and like criminals.

My friend Arial Anderson, who's a huge bondage model

and was talking about how she wanted to kill herself when she was 16 because she

she couldn't understand how she had all these

weird ideas and fantasies about being tied up and hurt.

And she came from a religious community.

So she had a lot of guilt and shame around her desires.

I've never had that. Thank goodness.

I've been so lucky.

And it's only now I realize that

I don't know why there's such a stigma around the industry.

Honestly, you'd think I'd have a better answer, but I don't.

And it's got worse.

I say. Since I started in the mid-nineties, it was just seen as fun and now,

you know, it was sort of Denise Van Outen type lad mags era.

It was just a giggle and a lot of people seemed to be doing it

and talking about it.

And now it's somehow become terrifying.

People are very angry

about porn and people being naked and enjoying their sexuality.

We live in this weirdly pro sexuality age where you can identify

as anything you please.

I can say that I'm gay or straight or a man or people or anything.

Everyone's fine.

But if you actually start touching anybody

or taking pictures of yourself, touching anybody,

that's somehow horrifying and something to be hidden away.

And I think that's a real shame because sex is really fun.

It's a great stress reliever, it's a great mood enhancer, and I think we do

an awful lot more of it in the world rather than less.

Everyone's tossing off all the time.

I think we should just talk about it because that's really fun too,

and I'm proud that I'm able to help them in some small way.

I suppose it must be...

There has been a real sea change.

What is it?

I think

feminists like being angry.

I mean, if I'm going to get killed for saying this,

but I think in many ways

feminists and socialists have sort of won the war, and yet

they still want to go on being relevant and being angry.

And pornography is really easy target and

so back in the seventies, feminism was all about women being proud of their bodies

and their sexuality and using their bodies in any way the hell they chose.

And, you know, fighting for

good sex and good quality orgasms and that kind of thing.

And now feminism is about restricting women's

choice and saying, oh, you can't be that kind of woman. That's wrong.

You know, you've got to be like us and you can't have any fun.

You certainly can't like men. That's outrageous. You can't enjoy yourself.

And there's been a movement, particularly in America,

where feminism has sort of become unified with the religious right.

And it all seems to be about control and restriction and censorship

and just being constantly angry.

I don't have an answer, really.

I don't know why that's happened. It's very sad.

I think it's just, you know, the time, the sort of sea change that will

the clock will turn and it will change again.

I hope, hopefully will be in a more liberated time.

I hope I hope I'm alive to see it.

Well, at the moment, it's it's really hard to be a porn star.

Increasingly, you get more restrictions and mastercard

are making life much harder for us.

Clips for sale make it much harder for you.

They keep adding all these extra restrictions and layers of bureaucracy

and it's tricky and it's getting worse.

So in France now, you have to verify your age before you look at pornography.

That's almost certainly going to come in here,

which is insane, because if you're a 12 year old boy,

you know how to get past that by using a VPN.

Of course, it's only going to be the Tory voters

who will be sitting at home with blue balls thinking, what did we do?

Why do we vote for this nonsense?

But the tide will turn, I'm sure of it, and we will enter a more liberated age

where we think actually touching people probably

isn't the worst thing you can do to them.

The industry does pay well if you pursue money in your career,

and I haven't always often I've pursued that more artistic projects,

just things that interest me.

But if it's money that you're after, then yeah, pornography is

the sex industry is the way to go.

I think

certainly if you're a working class woman with not many qualifications, it's

a very good way of earning a good living very quickly.

Yeah, I have a substantial property

portfolio now. I own seven properties, six of them outright.

So yeah, even though I haven't really particularly pursued money

and I've always had like other artistic enterprises going on along the side.

But yeah, I've made money at it more than I need really.

It changes your attitude towards money when you're a sex worker because you know

it's just always there.

So I had my bag stolen five years ago and luckily my phone in my pocket

and I messaged a punter and thought it was terrible

and he had a big wad of cash just couriered round to me.

You know, look, this will tide you over

until the bank sort out and you never feel really worried about

how you're going to pay your gas bill or if your car breaks down.

It's just not an issue.

So it's it's a very different way of approaching finance,

which can make it quite lonely actually, in some ways, because you can't really

connect and identify with

like other mothers in the school playground

who are worrying about how they're going to feed their kids,

that we could spread your legs. You know,

there's a thought and you'll be fine.

But then if you like that kind of advice, mysteriously, it's

well meaning.

So I worked at the windmill for about four months, so not that long.

It was very long shifting.

I spent an awful lot of time hustling for punters attention.

There were often about 100 girls and yeah, and I am quite shy,

so I didn't really thrive in that kind of environment.

I did a bit. I didn't do too badly,

but I got tired of all the constant hustle and the competition.

So I went to the sunset strip theater, which was just around the corner

where it's different now.

But at the time you just went on stage for 8 minutes about every 100 minutes.

So about eight or nine girls usually working there.

You would just go on stage, you'd get paid by the management

and you'd get tipped when you were on stage.

There was no actual interaction with the punters unless you wanted,

but that seemed to suit me better.

So I loved it.

I was on stage for 8 minutes, so you sort of developed your own shows.

You had all these costumes and routines.

It was very much old school

striptease, which I absolutely loved, and lovely bunch of girls, really nice.

Still in touch with lots of them.

That was 97 ish and yeah, and I only left there actually

because the management changed hands and things were starting to change.

I still think of it very fondly every day with sunny at the sunset strip

and we were given money for vodka every week.

They thought if we got drunk we'd flash more.

I would flash happily, it doesn't take vodka, but I do like vodka.

So we were constantly slightly tipsy.

And so from there I moved into like the pub circuit.

I was working the rainbow pub circuit

and it was like 50p in a pint pot type thing.

You'd go round, get a collection, and then you get up on stage.

If there was a stage or you just like wonder about if not

and take your clothes off to a song.

I did that for a few years.

Then I started doing stripper grams as well, which was great fun.

And it's like 70, 80 quid for like 6 minutes work.

You just run into a pub, take your clothes off.

It seems astonishing now that that ever happened.

I remember like going to

to a harvester a Sunday lunchtime and doing a fully nude strip.

So it's a very different time.

Then I got pregnant and

so I started working on a chat line while I was pregnant.

I was doing like cheap chat.

I'm just sitting here all alone, nearly naked and juicy, working

my feet up and curlers in.

And I was watching this morning, I kind of did that while I was pregnant

and I went back into stripper grams because it's quite a good job to have like

when you have a baby because you can just like,

take your baby around with you

and put the baby behind the ball while you're doing it. Stripping.

And then hopefully remember to pick the baby back up again

and go out and do the next stripagram.

Oh, gosh. Then what?

And then I thought, well, this I'm going to become ridiculous.

I was approaching 30 at that point, so I thought, I don't want to be

hysterical, saggy, wrinkliest, stripper in town.

So I started to look for other things to do,

and that's when I remembered that I've been doing spanking porn.

Back in the day, I thought, oh, you know, I wonder if I could get back into that.

So I saw an advertisement in the stage newspaper.

They wanted girls to make spanking videos and I applied

and I got the job and I went down to Bournemouth to shoot with Vixen ladies.

And I loved it and just loved it.

And again, you just don't meet people and I met a lot of women

who offered 1 to 1 discipline sessions as well,

and they were the ones with the enormous detached houses

and the kids in boarding schools and the range rover.

On the drive, I bet I bet I could do that

and I could.

I'm extremely disappointed in your recent bad behavior.

Jenkins

I understand from all your teachers that you are persistently rude

and disruptive in class.

Indeed, you even bother to turn up at all.

My character is miss Matthews.

She's oh, she's quite like me, but probably slightly less energetic.

And she's more constantly disappointed and more stern.

So I'm quite giggly and silly, but she's very firm

and yeah, she has her particular standards and she likes them met.

She likes things done her way, and it was a custom film I was making.

Gosh, must be dread to think ten, 15 years ago.

And the client who wrote the script for me to follow call me Ms..

Matthews. And it stuck.

And some of that went out on clips for sale and onlyfans and all the rest of it.

And so I started being Ms. Matthews who I became Ms..

Matthews on Twitter and and have been ever since.

You've simply ceased to stop trying.

And I don't understand it.

Your homework is a very poor standard.

Again you very seldom even bother to hand it in.

You are late, rude, disruptive,

and it's affecting your other classmates and it cannot be allowed to continue.

So we've had a meeting about you and we all are in agreement

that you are in dire need of a short, sharp shock.

I'm sure you understand what that means.

You've heard the rumors about what happened in the school.

No doubt they're all true.

I'm afraid I'm going to bend you over my desk,

remove your trousers and pants,

and I'm going to give you

half a dozen short, sharp stingers with the cane.

And believe me, Jenkins, you will not be able to believe how very much it hurts.

I got mail today addressed to Mrs. Matthews.

It's very sweet. She's got married suddenly.

Yes, she's quite like me.

She has an English degree and she talks like me.

She probably is. She wears more clothes than me, to be honest.

I was doing a shoot for the times last year

and they said, is this what you would wear?

Can you wear something to wear for session?

I was wearing something a bit like this and I couldn't believe it.

But it's like a silky blouse and a pencil skirt

and thick tights and a big rugged cardigan.

Yeah. So Melissa tends to dress more slutty, to be honest,

sometimes I turn up for porn, and they can as you look nice.

But can you please just a cover of your cleavage a little bit?

Because you just showing too much. Astonishing.

The first stroke

of the cane is not something that is easily forgotten.

You'll be crying.

And screaming and hopping about and begging for mercy, but

there will still be five more blows still to come on, your young, tender flesh.

And I am confident that that will nip

this dreadful behavior in the bud and get you back to being the pleasant.

Charming, clever.

Young boy we all remember from yesteryear who seems to have mysteriously

vanished in a fog of hormones and wickedness.

The cane is very good at removing wickedness from naughty boys and girls.

So in your own time, bend over

and I remove those trousers for you.

I think my accent has been a huge part of my success as a disciplinarian.

So usually I play in videos or in sessions.

Actually, I play a sort of 1950s headmistress, and the fact that

I have this demeanor and accent and I'm quite eloquent

and I can usually improvise on camera has been a huge asset.

Yeah, I learned quite early on that men and women, but particularly men,

let's face it, really like the fact that I sound like,

yeah, somebody from a Noel coward play.

They respond really well to that because often your client base is much older.

And I do remind them of, you know, nanny or that governess

or that headmistress from back in the day and they really respond, well to that.

Yeah. Rather than girls with an Essex accent.

No offense.

I also model as Ms. Matthews if I'm making films, I'm generally

Ms. Matthews yeah, but I'm modeling for all sorts of things.

I do whatever I'm told to do, really.

I'm very submissive dominatrix! I do what I'm told.

So quite often as well.

I do sploshing for example, I do lots of foot stuff.

What else do I do?

I do do bondage occasionally doing a shoot where I'm being tied up next week.

Yes, I do whatever I'm told.

I suppose I feel most confident and comfortable as

ms Matthews, and that's what I make the most money doing,

because that's what I'm known for.

Oh, I've had so many memorable shoots and such a long career

that it's hard to think of anything that's particularly stuck out.

Oh, I made a custom film recently where I had to sing to a camera

that was really he just wanted me to wear a posh hat

and sing hits from his childhood, from my playschool.

That was sweet and lovely.

Gosh, there've been so many.

I did a splosh one recently when I was like in a game show and I had to answer

questions right or wrong and whatever I said I seem to ended up getting dunked.

That was fun.

I was washing myself in his bathroom afterwards.

Absolutely covered in yogurt, in the shower, thinking, wow, it's lucky

I got all those degrees.

And here I am again in a strange men's bathroom covered in yogurt

sploshing seems to be insanely popular

if I put it on my onlyfans yeah, people really seem to love it.

I don't know why it's really good fun.

I like being covered in banana custard and stuff and

yeah, I dread to think what's going on in their minds really,

and why that's erotic.

I don't find it erotic, I have to say.

Although sometimes, if you like sliding banana custard down your tights and

it kind of feels quite nice on your skin, I suppose if you're having a food fight.

But yeah, I don’t think I could wank over it. But each to their own.

I judge nobody.

But it's a lark, isn’t it? Better than working for the civil service.

I do an awful lot of fetish stuff

as well where I have my toenails painted again.

That's magnificent.

The girls have to pay for that.

I get paid to have it done to me.

Tickling increasingly.

Actually, I'm being asked to do a lot of tickling shoots,

which I hate because I am genuinely ticklish.

But also I quite like the challenge.

So I get tied to a bed and a man comes in and tickles me.

My feet aren't too ticklish, so I always tell him to concentrate on that.

But I also like scream and want to punch people if they come with it.

What else?

Yeah, it's mainly domination.

I do, to be honest, I'm not always a head mistress.

I'm often like an angry aunt or disappointed wife or boss, or

sometimes I do like prison officer type scenarios as well.

Yeah, all sorts.

My work is seen as I have a clips for sale site,

elegant discipline that's called I'm all over only fans.

I'm on southern charms recently and I say I work for some quite

big studios as well so people

can see people know like Pandora.

Blake I work with often Elsa Svensson.

Who else?

Sarah Gregory.

All sorts. Yeah.

So yeah, some quite big studios are getting increasingly big actually,

because I'm of promoting myself more and more and getting out there

and doing more international shoots, which is thrilling.

I have built up a following.

I've got quite a decent following now on Twitter and on onlyfans as well and

I’ve been doing it so long.

People know me and remember me from back in the day

and they feel like they're my friends and they kind of all my friends.

See, I have clients that I've been seeing for a good 15 years now

and you become part of the

but not quite part of the family,

but you can be part of the fabric of their existence.

So you hear about, you know, the death of the parents

and the birth of their grandchildren.

You do feel like part of something. And I like that.

I like that connection.

You know, it's you know, you have a very intense experience with someone.

Inevitably, you do get to become friends with them and

feel part of their life, which is gorgeous.

I think one of the reasons I'm a successful

model is nothing to do with my looks.

It's because I answer my emails

and so many girls do not answer their bloody emails so that just people

often get me in short notice because then I will turn up.

And yet a lot of it is about having the right mindset.

So just turning up organized with the clothes you need

and not hung over, which I usually manage.

I just ready to go and receptive and not causing trouble.

I'm really, really good actually.

Just doing what I'm told and shutting up,

which having worked with other models I find can often be an issue.

They think they know better and maybe they do, but it's not their gig.

So you just have to listen to the director and do as you're told.

Shut up and go home again.

And I have a real skill for just yet shutting up and doing as I'm told.

Yeah, but answer your emails

because last week I had to play a 19 year old school girl.

It's ridiculous. You know, 46 this year.

But I was the only one. It was only my bottom showing. Okay.

But I was the only one who answered the casting calls.

Yeah. So

There are a couple of silky blouses

I wear all the time with a little pussy

bow, that I think are satin and fully formed

and everyone, like, says I should have worn one today.

Actually, yes.

It tends to be that pencil skirt cardigan that's kind of our uniform

tights or stockings and heels like Mary Jane heels.

Nothing too massive tends to be it just, you know, fifties headmistress really,

which is lucky because that's kind of the outfit that suits me.

Lots of fun, fully fashioned, fully seam stockings

and like old fashioned suspender belts, that kind of thing.

That's tends to I say that suits me.

I'm a curvy girl, so that works quite nicely with my figure.

Yeah, I don't go in much for latex.

And I did a shoot with fetishized recently where I had to like wear latex,

but I'm just too big.

This is made for like size six girls.

I'm not size six, but it was quite fun.

I ended up getting like a gas mask

and a big like latex raincoat and wet suit and stuff.

That was cool. And it was boiling hot day as well.

Going to die

with bondage gear.

It was fun. It was an experience.

I sort of have a classroom setting that I use at home.

You see, I've got like a library type affair next door, so I will use that.

And it's like the head mistress’ study vibe.

So they'll take in a head mistress’ desk and a big like a big pot of canes.

And that that works.

I do work in places that have like designated

classroom area so whipstock grange, which is down in Portsmouth,

they have an actual house that is entirely set up like a a classroom.

They have like a headmaster's study and like a school dining hall.

It's incredible.

I love working down there.

Sometimes I film and see clients there, but more usually that's just for school

roll play days.

There's a few of those actually hire dungeons,

and there's a couple in London that have their own designated school.

And so I quite often go and work there as well. Yes.

And in terms of the session, there's usually a role play scenario

which they'll tell me beforehand, or sometimes I'll hand me

the letter to the teacher so I have to read them in front of them,

look at a letter from their mother, that kind of thing.

So usually they've been

doing what

they've been doing, smoking often, or they've been

bunking off school or they've been not just just not trying their hardest.

They haven't had it in their homework. They haven't been studying.

You know, they can do better. We're all very disappointed them.

They're letting the school down, that sort of thing.

So they have to bend over my desk and receive a good sharp beating,

often with a cane.

And I do over the knee spanking and slipper

and airbrushing and whatever else, have a wonderful collection of weapons.

I use canes, my I love caning.

It's so much fun.

I just love it.

I love everything about it.

Which is weird because I'm very sweet. Really.

There's something about beating the shit

out of someone and leaving this lovely lines

and making them scream and dance about the room I just really love.

I don't analyze it too much.

It's just what I enjoys playing.

I have been getting a lot of female clients recently.

That's quite a modern phenomenon.

I think the last couple of years really, I've started seeing more and more women

before that, maybe just one or two in the whole of my career.

And I think probably that's in part because they see me on Twitter

all the time where I'm very active

talking about how I'm seeing this woman and that woman.

They feel safe to come and see me.

And also because I I'm just very open and out there with my life.

I think it's incredibly brave.

I'm not sure I'd have the courage

to approach a sex worker and ask them to fulfill fantasies, you know?

So I really, really admire them.

And I try my very best to make this comfortable as possible.

And I was incredibly nervous, of course.

And I want to role play school girls and often the boundaries start to blur

a little bit with women because then men want to session with them as well.

So they want to be beaten alongside a beautiful girl.

And then I start using them as my onlyfans for my custom clips.

So very often they go from being a client into becoming

like a colleague really, or a friend, and they get beaten free, which is lovely.

Everyone's happy.

I don't think there's

really very much difference between woman sessions and men sessions.

I think just it all depends really on the individual.

Some women think they only want a very light spanking, some very light,

and then they say, oh, I can definitely take it much harder than that.

Often women can take an astonishing amount of pain.

Just staggering.

Yeah, it just depends.

Often women like to role play a lot,

so they have like a full hour of role play and they like to communicate.

Often that is a difference.

But before and between sessions they like to role

play with me in messenger, that kind of thing,

which I tend not to get so much with men, so it tends to be more

inventive, I suppose.

But again, I don't like to stereotype.

It really just depend on the individual.

Yeah, I think women maybe tend to be more needy and demanding of my time,

but again, there are plenty of men that do that as well.

So yeah, it just depends on the person.

I get a lot of women saying to me that they think they could do my job,

that they'd love to be a dominatrix because they hate men

and they want to with their backs

and kick them in the balls and tell them they're worthless worms.

And that isn't how it works.

I think you have to love your clients to do what I do, because you're doing

you're playing exactly how they want to play your

you know, you're playacting that you are in charge.

But of course they're in charge.

They set the boundaries and the terms for the session.

And so you have to love the clients.

You have to love men. And I do love men. I really do.

And I think men are genuinely this sounds like a line,

but I think they're so brave to come to a stranger and say, I want to do this even.

It's incredibly weird. And I have had a lot of really weird

requests and

trust I'll do it and not laugh and not ask why and not tell tales on them.

I think they're magnificent. I truly do.

Kinky people genuinely are the cleverest, most creative people I've ever met

and my absolute best friends.

They really are.

There's definitely a sexual element to the scene and to sessioning.

I mean, if I'm seeing women,

I can usually smell their arousal, which is quite exciting.

And obviously with men I can see their arousal, so that's fine.

Yeah, but it's

the sexual element happens in their brains and not between our bodies.

So I'm saying things which if you're not into kink, would not seem remotely sexy.

My husband isn't into this at all, and he just can't get

why anyone would want to be hit with a big stick and get paid for it.

He doesn't get it,

but if you're into the scene, you're into kink, then yes,

it is incredibly sexual, of course, and they get very aroused and so do I.

Sometimes I can hear myself sloshing when I'm walking about.

Afterwards, thinking. That was really cool.

I beat the life out of and they loved it.

It was brilliant.

Massive high. It's great. I'm very lucky. I really

if you're interested in becoming a model,

I'd say talk to people who've been doing it.

There's a huge community out there, say,

particularly on Twitter, the kink community is so supportive.

It's like no other element of Twitter that I've ever experienced.

We're all out for each other's backs. We really are.

I've had so much good advice from particular female models,

I have to say, and other directors, they're really out there for you.

I'd also say by my book,

which is a fictionalized account of my experiences in the sex industry.

There's loads and loads of good advice in there about how to become a model,

how to become a disciplinarian

or dominatrix or whatever else you'd like to get into.

And it's really good and funny.

Everyone says so, not just me. So yeah, by that,

yeah, just talk to people really.

And obvious things.

Make sure people know what you're doing.

Somebody knows if particularly if you're going to a

hotel room or something, make sure you ring a friend

and say, I'm here and I'll be out in 2 hours.

I was working as a newsreader, working.

I was volunteering actually on local radio.

But when I came out as a sex worker, which is always everyone sort of

known about, it has always been the butt of jokes, which is fine.

It's hilarious. I get it.

But when I started talking about it on Instagram and Twitter and I did

an interview with a local newspaper, I was suspended, which was a shame

because I was a really good newsreader and I just done my DJ training

and I never said anything remotely saucy on air.

I was incredibly bland and boring.

I would be talking about, you know,

the government and lockdowns and so on and never ever mentioned any of it.

But they just felt that yeah, they couldn't tolerate

having a sex worker among the volunteers, which was idiotic.

I think a lot of people seem to agree.

But cinque ports radio have taken me on.

Now I'm doing Melissa's love lounge 10 P.M. to 1 A.M.

Every weekday night.

I'm still getting used to the tech because I'm recording it from home.

It's very different set up.

I'm loving it. It's great.

And they quite like me talking about kink and my modeling sessions and stuff.

So hopefully I'll be building up a following that and yeah,

get to use this voice for something else other than scolding naughty schoolboys.

Fun as that is.

I started writing this book about ten years ago, I think possibly something like that.

I started writing my stripping memoirs

because everyone kept saying, you should write a book, you know?

So I wrote about that, and then I left it and forgot all about it.

And then lockdown happened and I suddenly found I had all this time

on my hands and I was just lying in my garden with nothing to do.

So I thought maybe get back to that.

And I had to look at it. I thought, actually, that isn't half bad.

I could use it, I could do something with it.

I decided to fictionalize it and hide behind a character

because my life's quite boring. Really.

I think so.

I thought I would have someone else and make these her experiences,

but they are really all my experiences.

And that meant I could play around with things like relationships.

And it's basically a love story, really.

But it's there's also a lot of really sound advice

I explain exactly how I got started and assorted pitfalls

I should have avoided and would have if anyone had told me anything.

I wasn't just making it up as I went along.

And I tell you about how to advertise

the kind of equipment you need if you want to begin as a dominatrix.

Yeah, websites that will help you, all sorts of things.

So I really do genuinely recommend it is a very sound investment.

If you're thinking of getting into modeling or indeed kink of any description

you can buy on Amazon.

Of course, in whsmith's website, waterstones,

Barnes and noble. I'm everywhere.

My publisher has been really very efficient.

So yeah, just Google the title.

It's on eBay now.

I see people are buying like selling secondhand copies of some pages.

How dare they. I don’t think I get the money for that.

So don't do that.

Yeah, go on Amazon.

That's probably best if you're in broadstairs

you can buy at the Royston pub down the road. I get all the money for that.

Except that, then I spend it on beer.

I probably don't do that.

Do you think we might see a 50 shades of gray style movie come from this book?

Oh, I would love this to be filmed. I would so love it.

It will not be 50 shades of gray because it'll be good.

And actually, there isn't a great deal of sex in this book.

I do want to put people off.

I say it's some it's not terribly saucy.

So it wouldn't be 50 shades of gray themed,

but it would, I think, make a really good film.

And I'd I'd pay to watch it.

I tell you, I pay to be in it.

It probably should have me as a starring role

and me as all the supporting parts as well.

I like a camera me, as you can tell.

I'd really like to carry on writing.

I love it. I really do.

I'd like to do

more media work very much because I think there's such a stigma around sex work

and such a bad press all the time, particularly around pornography.

You see strip clubs in Bristol being closed this week, you know, women

being suddenly rendered unemployed because of people's prejudice.

So I'd really like to get out there

because I'm in this very privileged position

where I can show my face and talk about what I do.

I'd like to do more of it and to say, look, I'm not terrifying.

I'm not going to steal your husband.

I'm not I'm not a junkie.

You know, I'm not getting beaten up by my pimp.

I'm not trafficked.

I'm just a really average boring woman who happens

to have a lot of fun all day, every day and make a lot of money doing it.

More media work, more writing.

And also I want to be an international megastar.

So I'm already this year I've done quite a lot of international work.

It's just from the square that was like my domestic responsibilities

because I also have to make the dinner, obviously.

Am I like literary and broadcasting stuff that I do as well.

I love. I'd love to be just like a megastar, really.

That's the plan.

That's all. Just world domination.

Well, you know, standard.

(Electronic music)