Original subtitles

Gather round, listen my tale.

Of a man who put maidens under his spell. In a land of hunger, a

time of wants.

The people were poor.

The queen was not.

She had a lot.

She seduced the sheriff, the levy.

attacks on every pussy, every piece of ass.

People in the village, they all lost hope.

So they turned to a man from show.

So, Sheriff Nottingham wants to impose tax on pussies, eh?

Well, we won't pay it.

Because in this land, and in all lands, pussy is free.

Let's hear it for Throbbing Hood!

And let's hear it for that free pussy!

Unhand me, you ruffians!

Stop struggling, or I'll chop you up and throw you into the forest.

Throbbing Hood, good tidings.

What do we have here, dandy fellow, eh?

We cornered him on Black Forest Road. Could it be he did not hear that the

are governed by the keeper of the forest and his merry men?

I have heard the tales of the thieves of the timber, but I did not think them

fools enough to abduct the Squire of Pennypinch.

Squire of Pennypinch, eh?

Gentlemen, this is the very man that imposed the pussy tax.

I'm in charge of the Queen's treasury.

She demands it to be bigger. The size does matter.

So be it the law.

Let me tell you something about the law, my dear fellow.

It only protects people like you who rob from the poor.

Are you calling me a thief?

You, the Robin Hood?

My dear fellow.

I'm nearly robbed from the fat of people like you to feed the skinny in the

pool.

Let me tell you something.

I won't be needing these fancy drawers anymore.

And this chef pouch.

No, no, no. And this condom pouch.

I'll take those.

And you know what?

I might let you keep this one.

But I'm also going to relieve you of your beautiful wenches. Why do you

like to stay, that is, of course?

Well, I've heard tale of the many pleasures a wench can have while in the

of the merry man.

And I'm wench enough for two.

Well, do you mind sharing?

Well, little dong, I guess we can break bread together.

Lead on, fair wench. So be it.

The queen and her sheriff will have their wrath on you.

Let me tell you something, my dear fellow.

You tell Sheriff Nottingham that I, Robin Hood, keeper of this forest, await

him.

Now get out of my campsite. And somebody relieve him of the rest of his jewelry.

Get out of here!

And I think myself, if I don't mind.

I'd like to enjoy the pleasures of a winch. Would you care to stay?

I fancy staying.

You could. Follow me.

Why do they call you Little Gong?

You don't feel that little to me.

You keep touching me like you do, I'll get a lot bigger.

What about you, love?

Are you ready for snack?

Oh, I got that.

That's it.

And I got that.

This is a definition of confusion.

Little Pucks.

That's Little Dong to you.

Excuse me, Little Dong. Can you be a sport and run off and eat this bone

she eats mine?

Oh, sure.

You are great.

Thank you.

I love Little Peanut. He's a good guy.

She has strong arms.

I'm used to men who grow weak with Richmond.

She has strong hands also.

That's what I call the touch of a man.

No, this is the touch of a man.

Very good.

don't mind them

oh

that's

beautiful

Well? Well?

In the offer of a snack, is it still good?

Yes.

Ain't that lovely, lovely pussy?

Can I eat your pussy?

Eat, my friend.

Oh, God.

I love it, that's why.

And while I'm with Robin Hood, it's free.

Free and wet.

Oh, I'm leaving that thing.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Get it in there. That

feels

so good.

Feel that?

Oh, God.

And you're in my service.

Uh...

Oh. Oh.

These arrows always hit their mark.

You seem very sad.

It's a lonely path I've taken.

Exiled into the forest.

An outcast from the very same cloth that I'm cut.

But the people love you.

They revel in you. They worship you.

I don't wish to be worshipped.

I only wish to be... Loved?

Who holds your heart, Robin Hood?

Who lies alone in bed?

It is the one with the sunlight in her eyes.

The breath of life on her lips.

It has made Marianne.

She can draw your bed.

She can make your bed.

She can milk your cows and give you a hand.

She can milk your cock and leave you spent.

She's amazing.

Who is there? That's what I say. The prince commands you.

It is I, Prince Dick, Maiden Marian.

What are you doing up at this hour?

The queen and her guests spilled wine and I was instructed to clean up the

It appears the queen may have had too much party.

It is harmless, I'm sure, sire.

Queen Caroline and Sheriff Naughtyham had business to discuss over an attack.

Oh, yes, the pussy tax.

If my father were not off on crusade, he might have something to say about yet

another new tax.

You are the maid known as Mary Ann.

Oh, yes, I've noticed you.

I remember when Sheriff Nottingham brought you in in shackles for being a

to that Ethan Robin Hood.

He is? For the Robin Hood?

He has stolen my heart, Sire.

And since being taken from him, my heart has stilled.

I know too what it is to have a still heart.

There was a maid, much like yourself.

She didn't think I noticed her.

My being a prince and her being a maid is not allowed.

But I did notice her.

From afar.

Alas.

Always from afar.

You clean these corridors at night alone.

I walk these corridors at night alone.

We are very much alike.

Sad and sleepless.

Your lips, they burn mine.

Your fragrance penetrates my soul.

I would do anything.

Betray anyone.

I would kill anyone.

But for one night with you.

Why, if the king knew of your desires for me, he'd have you beheaded.

What is the loss of one big head for the opportunity to gain

a little head?

Yes.

You are so naughty.

And I would love to have you do naughty things to my royal box.

But it seems the king has taken the key with him on his cursed crusade.

Oh, alas, the key to your heart.

No, you idiot, I don't have a heart.

I speak of the key to my belt.

My chastity belt.

But of course, the chastity belt.

Can you pick it?

Who better to pick the lock than the jailkeeper himself?

Stop it, you... Oh, stop it!

Oh,

stop it, you idiot!

Perhaps we should greet you up a bit.

To solve the riddle to the combination.

The combination.

Of course.

You

did

it!

However!

However did you know?

How? Albert, did you get the combination?

Quite simply, actually.

38, 24, 36.

A lucky guess.

Ah,

you just did.

Taste it.

But of course!

Puppy.

Mm -hmm

No.

No.

No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No.

No.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Yeah. That's it, baby. All right. Bye.

Bye.

That's it. Uh -huh.

He's a cock.

that you'll do anything for me.

Anything, my dark one?

He is a sorcerer, that Robin Hood.

You must slay him for me.

But how?

There is a maid among us.

Maid Marianne.

I hear he has feelings for her.

Which is precisely why I've sentenced her to work in a palace far from the

forest.

Let me think between their love. Let them die of broken heart.

Dying of a broken heart takes too long.

I want the head of Robin Hood on a platter now before the king comes home

his goddamn crusade.

We must find a way to get him here to the castle.

If we can get him here, he will fall right into the hands of your evil gods.

I would never be that foolish.

We must tempt his soul.

So the evil sheriff and the evil queen, they hatched their purely

evil scheme.

They built a jail of wood and nail, a plan they thought would prevail.

Tried to catch Robin if they could.

Robin Hood.

Robin. Robin.

This proclamation from the Queen was nailed to a tree at the entrance of the

forest.

I'm not interested in any proclamation from the Queen.

He's feeling a little blue lately.

Because of Maid Marianne?

Who else?

He's not interested in any other women. I tried showing him pharaoh videos. They

just didn't work.

Silly me. I thought it might cheer him up.

Hear ye, hear ye. By order of the Queen, on the morrow shall hold a contest.

of archery prowess.

He whose arrow shall most straightly hit the target shall have as his prize the

hand of our most beautiesome maid, Marianne.

But everyone knows Robin Hood is the best marksman in the land.

Who's the second?

Sheriff of Nottingham, of course.

So let me get this straight. If left unchallenged, the sheriff wins the hand

maid Marianne.

It's not the hand he's so interested in.

Forget my drift.

You have no choice.

So be it. Set the challenge.

Was the morning before the big event.

Invitations far and wide were sent But the queen would have her evil wrath But

not before her bubble bath, bubble bath, bubble bath And Robin would laugh the

last laugh Her evil wrath

Now bathe me.

Bathe all of me.

Not with the bath water.

Wet it with your tongue.

Yes, ma 'am.

Much better.

Much better.

Much better wedding with Tom, don't you think?

Yes, ma 'am.

Is Your Highness pleased?

Oh, Your Highness is getting pleased. She's getting there.

Mm -hmm.

Wet with your tongue as well.

Very nice.

Very nice. You know what the sheriff says.

I do have the finest ass and the perkiest tits, Queen

Caroline.

Yes, you're darn nice.

Very nice.

Your Highness is quite beautiful.

Your Highness will be much more beautiful when she is fully pleased.

This rubbish. Get it off. Let me see you.

I want to be able to see you.

And look at your body.

Much better.

So you're the one they call Marianne, hmm?

Yes, Your Highness.

Well, I think I have a much finer body than you.

Tend to me more.

And you, and you, out of that horrible dress.

Out.

I'm not going to do it for you.

Hurry, undress.

Yes, Your Highness.

Spoon out those milky white breasts.

Yes, ma 'am.

Looking nice.

Yes, ma 'am.

Does this please you, mistress?

Oh, that pleases much.

Right where your breasts belong, on the finest ass in the kingdom.

Yes, it is.

Yes, you're mine.

Mmm.

Mmm.

So much nicer out of that. God.

Mmm. Please be with your nudity.

Mmm.

That could be so nice.

Such a nice hot wet tongue.

Oh yes.

Such a good tongue.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, that's it.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Mm.

Yeah. Oh, that's it. Oh,

yes. That's it.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah,

that's it.

Uh -huh.

Did I like?

Yes. You nasty girl. So nasty.

Stop. You all right, pussy?

Oh.

Oh, damn.

Oh.

Oh, up.

Let me look at the specialness that they find in you.

bit of why they would think you were so

much fun.

Look at this.

Look at this pretty pussy.

He's sucking that pussy good. Oh, yes.

Oh, she is.

Oh, yes. Oh, fuck.

It's so...

Such a very good pleaser, aren't you?

That nice long tongue of hers.

Come with me, my dear.

For it is time that we give you pleasure.

Just rest your hands right.

You're so good to me.

It's so beautiful, your highness.

Like a statue.

And you, file my nails.

And make them razor sharp.

You know, we have the archery competition today, which you will both

attending, seeing how one of you will be chosen as grand prize.

Should I eeny, meeny, miny, moe?

It shall be you, Miss Marianne, since you are the fine one in the kingdom.

Keep powdering.

Though Robin Hood did come dawning a disguise, prepared

to give the queen a surprise,

he would shoot his arrow.

long and straight and snatch from her claws this fragrant

fate Marianne Marianne

that gentle sweet loving land Marianne

Marianne that gentle sweet loving land

I don't see why I have to be the second prize.

Everybody knows Sheriff Nottingham is going to win.

He's so dreamy.

I wish I thought so.

You're still hung up on that throbbing head, aren't you?

Well, get over it, girl.

There's plenty of men in tights out there.

This should prove interesting.

Very interesting indeed.

But evil stepmother, shouldn't we have waited for father's return before

conducting an archery contest?

You know how he loves these things.

Last time your father went out with the boys, he was gone for seven years.

Seven years without sex.

I felt like a damn Vulcan.

People, they must have their entertainment in his absences.

But all competitions must be presided over by King Dick.

And I am merely Prince Dick.

You should start acting like a big dick, like your father.

Besides, it's going to make stiff mummy happy.

Start acting like a big dick today, and even more so tonight.

There is no nuts between us, so why let there be further in between us?

Get my drift?

Let the festivities begin.

The first contender to take the hand of a palace maid will be the greatest

marksman in the land.

Of course, Sheriff Naughty Ham.

With your permission, my queen, I will place an arrow in the heart of

the target.

Let this symbolize my dick.

that I will plunge into the pussy of the fair maid.

Be there a challenger.

Surely there is one man amongst you willing to challenge the sheriff.

I will challenge him.

Yay!

Ooh,

I hope he comes up in second place so I can have him.

Let the games begin.

Take your best shot, peasant.

That bulging is tight.

For my shot, I'll need no arrow.

How do you expect to hit a target with no bow and arrow?

I choose to use something more potent than an arrow.

Let me show you.

You expect to hit a target 50 paces away with that?

Yes, I do.

I'll not only beat it.

I'll beat it off.

little short there, Sheriff, huh?

It's no fair.

The sun was in my eyes.

There's guards up on the roof. We can't go this way. Oh, no.

How did you get in here so fast?

There are passages and corridors in this castle that only I and my father know

about.

Do not worry.

Those doors are reinforced steel and will take hours for them to get in.

We have time.

I will get you out of the castle at nightfall.

But until then, we must wait.

What about the old queen?

Oh, do not worry about the queen. When my father returns, he will find out what

happens. The sheriff's head will surely roll.

And she can expect a divorce with no alimony. I guess I'll fix her clock.

Speaking of fixing a clock, hon, I haven't seen you in a while.

It's been so long, but my lips greet yours.

It'll be a long time till nightfall.

We should pass the time with merriment.

Like we say in the old forest, more the merrier.

You mean you're going to allow me to partake?

Oh, sure.

Actually, we call it ADP.

It's really popular amongst the European crowd.

Come on, my dear fellow.

The young princess in eager. Let me see.

Show him. Oh, it's beautiful.

It's not as imagined.

It tastes as good as you imagined. My crown.

Quite sure.

Might as well get comfortable, young prince.

Oh.

Mm -hmm.

It's so sweet.

It's sweet.

Sweet honey.

Yes, so good.

The fucking offensive.

Does that feel good? Yeah.

How is that pussy? Nice?

It's gripping around my cock.

Oh, she wants to touch.

Yeah, stick it around. Stick it around.

Oh.

Did you like your tea tea?

Oh, I love my tea tea. Did you love your tea tea? Yes.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Ready, hon?

Hey -ho!

Hip -hop hooray!

I don't fancy a cum bath, Prince.

Nor do I, Robin Hood.

May Marion, would you not fancy a cum bath?

Maybe to your liking, but not to mine. Right.

We'll only bathe you.

So that's what we call a really good tale when it ends in the ass so round

swell. The evil queen and evil sheriff too are gonna be punished on a good

king's rule. The happy villagers one and all are fucking for free and that's a

fall. So if you're in a pussy and it's feeling real good, remember the name of

Robin Hood.

Aw, shucks.

I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

Hear, hear! Hear, hear!

Hear, hear!