Original subtitles

Oh, fuck!

It's so big, where am I meant to put it?

Oh, disgusting, disgusting.

Oh, that is also disgusting

Why did I let you buy me a shot?

Ang, look, it's Adam.

Adam who, one of your flings?

Adam from work.

Oh yeah, I thought he was back for a few weeks.

God, look at that hair, I barely recognized him.

Did you guys ever hookup?

No, I tried, but the timing wasn't right.

Oh, you need to take your finger off the snooze button

if you wanna hook up tonight.

I need to process before making a move.

Ooh, don't look now but your ex is here.

Duncan?

♪ Glitter bombs ♪

♪ Loaded dancer ready point that ♪

We should, yeah, we should, we should leave.

We can finish, "South Highway" season 2, yeah?

Let's do it.

♪ Ooh I think I know you ♪

♪ But I'm no better ♪

♪ You're superhuman ♪

♪ Oh so super queer ♪

♪ You make me feel so superhuman when you're near ♪

♪ Ooh you're superhuman ♪

♪ Oh so super queer ♪

♪ You make me ♪

Sorry, I didn't think anyone was in here.

That's okay.

You look good.

You look deliciously good.

Thank you.

Do you wanna come inside?

Adam, wait.

Nope.

Adam, Adam, Adam, wait.

I don't have time for this, Ethan.

I can explain.

Yeah, you can explain?

Let me guess, it's not what it looks like.

Well, it was, but I can explain, if you just stop.

I've got a busy day.

And finding you kissing someone at work

was not on my to-do list.

Why are you angry?

Why am I angry?

Oh, I mean, you could have told me you liked guys.

You knew all about me,

'cause that's what brothers do, don't they?

They share stuff.

I mean, "Hey look, I've got a birthmark on my ass,

I pull down my pants right now and I'll show you."

I've got a birthmark on my ass.

See, I'm sharing, it's not that hard.

Well, guess what?

I never grew up having to share anything, Adam.

It was just me.

Well, you're gay now, we share everything.

Clothing, guys, STIs.

Look, I mean, it's a whole world

I'd love to spend more time on,

but my Uber is two minutes away.

I'm bi, I'm not gay.

See, that counts as a share.

Yeah, it's a start.

But it would've been nice

if you had of just spoken to me about it.

All right, I just, I didn't know how you'd react.

Well, it may have been better

than finding out the way I just did.

All right, I'm sorry, it just happened.

Putting too much sugar in a coffee just happened.

Sticking your tongue down someone's throat

is something else.

Look, I get it.

Everyone's got their own journey or whatever.

And if you need to talk, message me.

All right, thanks Adam, that, that would be nice.

But for now, I have a reputation to uphold

and I don't want your escapades to reflect on me.

Okay, that's fair.

Can you try not to fuck anyone else at work?

But what if they wanna fuck me?

Either way, just try, please.

All right, I'll try, but don't worry about me.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Okay, my car's here.

Welcome to "Single, Out."

Guys, guys, guys, I have some good news.

The DP I wanted said yes.

The bad news is half our budget is going to him,

which means, I'm so sorry, Willow,

your costume budget is getting cut.

That's fine, I'll hunt through what I have.

I have so many clothes, it's not even funny.

That's the spirit.

Jerry, can we adjust that?

Yeah, so it's already been adjusted.

I also cut cost on location.

Oh my God, how'd you manage that?

You can thank me.

We also got the okay to film.

Yeah, grandma loves us here.

Oh, that's nice of her, Theo.

Let's give you an EP credit.

I also just have a few changes to make to the script,

if that's still cool.

That would've been cool three weeks ago

when I asked everybody to send through their notes.

What's the change?

Well, I, uh, just feel that my character

wouldn't be wearing white at this part of his journey.

That's a me question.

I'm gonna leave that one with you, Willow.

Now, if nobody has anything else to add, let's stop here.

Ooh, one sec guys.

Mum?

One sec, Memphis is calling.

I'll call you later.

Okay, love you, bye.

Thank fuck you called.

You saved me from a mum call.

I was just calling to say

that Ange is gonna put in a half page ad for your fundraiser

and they want to run a story too.

Oh my God, that's great news.

Well, as your momager, I'll tee up a meeting

so you can go in and chat logistics.

Okay, cool, thank you.

Oh, one sec.

Hey, I just wanna see if Jerry's working on set.

Yeah, he will be, why?

Cool, no, no reason.

Look, I just like working with him

and not that I love him or anything,

just, you know, I think he's really cool.

Cool, did you want me to pass that message onto him?

Yeah, yeah, I'd love if you could do that.

Okay, leave it with me.

- Thank you. - Okay.

- Thank you. - All good, okay.

Ooh, sensing a bit of an onset crush.

Yeah, and that's the last thing we need on set right now.

Well, hey, at least they're putting themselves out there.

I only have time for my films.

My love life can wait.

Okay, and?

Well, they were so nice to me

and they gave my own desk and everything.

That's very cool, but why are you telling me this?

I don't know, I wanted to share my day with you.

But I thought this was just to hook up?

Oh, I don't.

We can fuck again?

Maybe we can sleep for a bit?

You can sleep over if you like.

I, I better not.

I just, I don't wanna give you the wrong idea.

I'm so happy you texted me to hook up.

Why?

Otherwise I wouldn't be here.

Well, that's me, I'm a hookup kind of guy.

And you kiss really well.

That's just so nice to be able to be in the moment

and not label anything or think about the future too much

'cause we're just kissing, right?

I'm sensing this might be a bigger deal

than you're suggesting.

Oh, sorry.

So, what kind of movies do you like?

Mostly comedies.

Like rom-coms?

No, just comedies.

I'm not really into romance films.

Interesting, I bet you're a closet rom-com boy.

You'd lose that bet.

Have you ever been in love?

I've never had my heart broken.

I never thought about it that way.

Or do you not get close enough to someone to fall for them?

I don't know, perhaps.

Fuck me.

What's up?

I don't know what to write about.

Oh, that's easy, just get the black laptop.

All the ideas that we have for the mag go into this.

Honestly, there's years and years of ideas,

you'll never not have anything to write about.

And then who edits my work?

That would be me.

Interesting.

- 'Cause I know Anthony can. - Yeah, he's like a Lagerfeld.

- Oh, Anthony. - Have a good one, guys, bye.

- Bye, see ya. - See ya.

Oh, see you guys.

- See ya. - Bye, bye.

Anthony can shake it like a Polaroid.

Well, I don't need to see that in my mind.

So, Ethan, hey, what are your thoughts?

Hey, Oliver, sorry to interrupt.

I just wanted to say thank you for your help today.

No worries at all,

happy to be of assistance to you and your needs.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I'm just taking the laptop home for a head start.

Cool, but if anything happens to it,

I will take you off the payroll.

Don't worry, it's safe with me.

Hey, wanna come out for my hens drinks?

What hens drinks?

You know the drinks that you said you'd have for me

if I ever asked?

I'm asking now.

I'll come, when is it?

Right now.

Now?

- Uh-huh. - Can I get changed first?

No. I'm sure we can find something for you, let's go.

My car's just over here.

You know, I've been wanting to give you

a hens for months now,

and suddenly you're feeling festive.

I think we should get to know Ethan a little better.

Why?

I have a good feeling about him.

Pass me that plate.

Oh, you know, you don't need to clean so much.

We're only gonna mess it up anyway.

You know, I like the place to be clean

when we have someone new coming over.

Oh, have you checked the toilet,

you might have left splatters.

Oh fuck!

Hey, can I borrow this for tonight?

Sure.

Thanks.

And then as soon as she told me

she thought Ruby Rose was overrated as well,

I was like, "This is the woman

I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with."

But she wasn't gay?

Yeah, so?

Try not to overthink the ways of the lesbian.

It's a complex world I'm yet to understand.

Okay, listen boys, this has been fun,

but I really need to piss

so I'm just gonna meet you inside.

How does she run so fast

and hold her bladder at the same time?

I have no idea.

Ugh, tell you what,

this whole wedding thing has been so weird.

I mean, why does someone pay thousands of dollars

just to show the other person

how much they really care about them?

I don't think it's supposed to be about care.

I think it's supposed to be about a celebration of the love

for the person you're closest with.

Yeah, that's nice too.

Let's drink to that.

That is my boy.

That is the boy.

That is my boy.

I need to pee.

Yo, Ethan, it's been ages, looking good my friend.

Didn't I see you yesterday?

My bad, he doesn't remember anything 20 minutes ago.

All right, bro, bit of personal space.

Are you looking for any caps tonight?

I've got a two for one deal going.

Nah, I'm all right.

Okay, in that case, can you help me out

with some spare change?

I need a drink, bad.

Who carries change anymore?

I didn't know you were that thirsty.

Maybe if you suck his dick he might give you some change.

- Oh, down. - Hey!

Hey, and who's this pretty thing?

Hey, hands off, he's not interested.

- At least I have you. - You do have me.

That's my boy, that's my boy, that's my boy.

- Come here. - Come on this, come on this.

- Come on this. - That's my boy.

- Hey, I need another drink. - Yeah.

- I need another drink. - Need a drink.

I want a drink.

Somebody get me a drink!

No, okay, you don't.

You're not listening to me.

Okay, listen, listen, "The Muppets" is the best

because it is the original, okay?

So it's the best, that's it.

Yes, but "The Muppet Babies" is a classic

and takes the characters on actual adventures.

Plus, you can see them move with legs,

with fucking moving legs.

Who gives a fuck about legs, okay?

You don't need legs to be awesome.

You're crazy.

You are.

Guys, guys, can we just pause this topic for a minute

and remember why we're here?

Ange, you're getting married soon.

How wonderful is that?

Yeah, yeah, but you know what would be more wonderful?

If you could sing at my wedding?

You can sing?

Hardly.

Oh, shush. Is it...?

Hey boys, Kay's coming to get me

so we can have a hen do bit AKA a fuckfest.

You're leaving already?

Yes, mwa, mwa.

Get home safe bitches, later.

Bye.

Are you going too?

Maybe I should.

I'm getting kind of tired.

Or maybe you don't.

Here, take this.

No, I can't.

Come on, it'll just wake you up a little bit.

Here, take it from me.

♪ I got into this mess ♪

♪ I always hated seeing ♪

Now what?

Now, we dance.

♪ Fucking best ♪

♪ It's not quite there ♪

♪ But close enough ♪

♪ Time's moving fast ♪

♪ I'm catching up ♪

♪ I didn't think that I would call your bluff ♪

♪ It's not quite there but close enough ♪

♪ it's not quite there but close enough ♪

Oliver, can we have a chat?

I'm kind of busy dancing.

It's just for a minute.

Maybe take a hint, love.

Are you for real?

Yeah.

♪ 'Cause that's the way it ♪

Who was that dude?

My dick ex.

You okay?

Yeah, and thanks for that.

You saved me from a really long conversation

I didn't wanna have for the 100th time.

Where's the laptop?

It's here somewhere.

Yeah, but where is it?

What's it?

Anthony's gonna kill us.

Oh, mm.

That's it, keep going.

I'm close.

Wait for me.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna.

You're gonna wait for me, yeah.

Oh!

Is that me or you?

That's me, that's my brother.

Can it wait?

I don't know, can you?

Ethan, what's up?

♪ Oh no ♪