Original subtitles

And though we are sad to lose her,

we can be joyful in the knowledge that her soul is at peace.

Now, I'd like to read an excerpt from the benediction.

"Our help is in the name of the lord who made heaven and earth."

- Hey, Liz. - Hey, babe.

How're you doing?

Shit, I don't know. I'm okay.

I'm at Maya's funeral paying my respects, but…

…trying to give everybody some space and just, you know, stay inconspicuous.

Well, that's impossible.

You're a gorgeous six-foot-tall woman who dresses like human funfetti.

Well, I am in all black today, but my underwear's neon green

and there's a snake eating a tiger across my ass 'cause I got to do me.

Of course you do. And you're perfect.

Any more news?

Yeah, a toxicology report tested positive for alcohol and Xanax in her system

with oxycontin to boot.

And we still don't know if it was an accident or not. They may never…

Shit. Hey, Liz, someone saw me. They're waving me over.

Just pretend you're there seeing someone else.

What? Okay.

You're being real quiet.

You doing something weird?

I sure am.

All right.

- I love you. - Love you.

- How's she doing? - You know Gaby.

She's stronger than all of us.

I don't know. I'm pretty strong.

Please. Your heart barely works.

I had to help you off the toilet this morning.

Well, that's true. I got winded wiping.

- Brian. - Yeah.

Why did you bring Sutton here today?

It's my nanny day. I was going to your house.

No reason. Trying to make your life easier.

Just, you know, me being a good person.

- None of that tracks. - He's the worst.

But who cares. I just want to eat you up.

- Yeah. - Wish she'd do that to me.

Lately there's been no skin-to-skin contact,

if you know what I mean.

Yes, sadly I do know what you mean.

The doctor said you can't have sex for eight weeks.

"Six to eight", okay? And I've done the math.

You either owe me 16 you-on-the-bottoms or four you-on-the-tops.

I am never getting married.

Look at your little Jordans. I love them.

- Everyone's been so supportive… - look at these.

…of Matthew's sneaker hustle.

- Thank you guys so much. - Yes, absolutely.

Are you kidding? I love my new sneakers.

I've been getting hit on so much.

This woman at the coffee shop would not stop staring at me.

I think that's because you stole her coffee.

No. Angela is my coffee shop name.

- That's not true. - It's true.

I was tired of people calling me, "brain."

You know what, Angela does suit you better.

Let's call him Angela from now on.

How you like that, brain?

When I was a kid working at bellevue,

whenever we lost someone,

my supervisor would gather us together so that we could process it emotionally.

And then he'd have each of us say how lucky we were to have each other.

Wow, you'd actually do that?

No, I pretended I had to go take a pee,

but I do remember feeling like having that community

helped me get through it.

Look, I went over all of your notes.

There's nothing that you should've done differently.

I know.

I'm sorry. I know you really cared about her.

Yeah, thanks for that. You encouraged me to get closer to my patients,

but you didn't warn me how much more it would hurt if things went south.

I thought that was sort of implied.

Just know that we're aware how hard this must be,

and that we're here for you.

Well, I'm here for you.

Paul apparently has a pickup game to get to.

Liz's big, weird son hooked me up. You're just jealous.

Yes, I've always regretted throwing away my slime shoes.

All right, gentlemen. Feels like this meeting is over.

Hey, if you need some time, I'm happy to cover your patients.

Thanks, but I got it.

- Okay. - Good. Back on the horse.

That's the way we honor the people we lose.

You guys are the best. Love you.

What?

I thought of something funny, but now's not the time.

- Go for it. - No.

- Come on. I need a laugh. - Say it, Jimmy.

Okay. You have dead patient face.

- Jesus. - What?

What the hell is wrong with you?

I was trying to be funny. I thought that it might lighten the mood.

- My god. - 'Cause of dead wife face.

I'm going to hell, aren't I?

Yeah.

See ya there.

God, it is so crazy.

It feels like yesterday I was dropping you off for preschool,

and now you're getting ready to graduate.

Hey, why didn't you tell me you were voted "most resilient"?

Because I hate it.

It was me and some kid who lost his finger to a firework.

I got voted "white Michael Jordan."

I was really good at basketball.

And it was a different time.

- Hey, you're back. - Hey, yeah, hi.

- Hey. Yeah. - Thank you.

- Hey. - Hey. Yeah.

I left my, jacket, wallet and keys here

the other night after your dead mom's birthday party.

You could just say "mom."

Really? It's not too soon to be that familiar?

Okay. Mom. Cool.

Nice.

I would've brought you your stuff.

Well, I didn't want to seem thirsty.

Anyway, that was fun the other night.

It's a pretty weird first date?

It was such a weird first date.

- Yeah. - That wasn't a date.

There were too many people there.

An actual date needs to be just the two of you.

Alone. Maybe at a restaurant.

I mean, there would be people there too…

- …right? The patrons. - Yes.

Waiters.

Maybe a restaurant critic?

In disguise.

Scribbling madly. In a notebook.

- But we are on to him. - So on to him.

Can this be over now?

Sure. For now.

But, you know, she is right. We haven't had an official first date.

So, how about dinner tomorrow night at my house?

It's a date.

Finally.

Well, thank you for finding my stuff.

Just feel like I keep losing things.

- It's really good to see you. Okay. - Yeah, you too.

- Bye, see you tomorrow. - Yeah,

- I'll see you tomorrow. Okay. - Bye.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

She's pretty cool right?

Yeah, I do really like her.

I kind of think mom's making her shit disappear.

Fuck.

- Hey. - Hey.

I thought it might cheer you up

to take a culinary trip through your old neighborhood, in long beach.

I got chili cheese fries from that very dirty place

- across the street from your high school. - Noice.

And a peppermint stick in a pickle from the gas station near your mom's house…

- Hell yeah. - …Which,

I can't believe I'm saying this, is actually pretty bomb.

The best part is when you burp a few days later, you can still taste it.

Look, babe, this is really sweet, but I don't really feel like eating…

So… I think I'm on that depression diet…

- Right, yeah. - …For a few days.

Well, how about this?

How about you and I cuddle up on the couch

- and watch some lord of the rings? - Pronounce it right.

- My bad. Lord of the rangs. - That's right.

Yeah. Not tonight, babe.

She said no to lord of the rangs? That's her happy place.

I know. Anyway, she's struggling, so… can you guys keep an eye on her?

- Absolutely. - I'll deal with this.

I've handled the death of a patient before and surprisingly, you have not.

I know, it really is amazing, isn't it?

Don't jinx me.

- Thanks for coming by, Derrick. - Absolutely.

It really is sweet how much you care about her.

Actually before all this went down,

I was planning to propose.

Nice.

And when were you planning on asking for my approval?

Asking you for your approval?

Is he serious right now?

I believe he is, yes.

Okay. Well, Paul, if it's okay with you,

I'd love permission to marry your coworker.

That would make me very happy.

- Hell yeah. - Wow.

- Wow, wow, wow, wow. - Right?

Sorry, I think I'm just in an emotional place.

I have a first date tonight.

Made this about himself real quick.

He always does.

It was so nice of you to tidy up, Ava.

And you did laundry too? Wow.

How fun that my perfectly-fitting blended fabric t-shirts

got to tumble with your cotton separates.

Just my way of saying thank you for letting me crash here

- for the last few weeks. - Come on. We are happy to help.

And I know it's been taking me a while to find a new job, and a new place,

so, until then, I will do all the housework around here.

- Then stay as long as you want. - Our home is your home.

Hello?

- Run. - You need to leave right now.

Angela? Are you decent?

Nope! We just had sex!

- Here, go, stall her. - What?

- Come on. Gotta go. - Liz.

What? Why? Why do I have to go? Liz likes me.

Yeah, no, she does. She really likes you, but she also has a lot of opinions,

so she's gonna have thoughts about you living here.

You know, like, "but for how long?" And "what does this mean?"

And "isn't it an unhealthy dynamic for the birth mother

to be living with the adoptive parents?"

You know, stupid shit like that. This door. Okay.

Down.

I don't want to hear your life story, Charlie. Nobody cares.

- I just want to see my baby. - Liz.

Hey, Liz. What's up, girl?

I have noticed

that you weren't keeping up with Sutton's moisturizing routine,

so I brought a cream from Europe that's banned here

but will keep her smooth forever.

May I try?

I think it's a little late for you.

Okay.

What do you think?

Someone came to play.

Come on, give us a spin.

Yeah! Nice.

I'm good?

You look like a Princess.

I sort of feel like one.

- You're glowing. - I think that might be panic sweat.

You're 'scited.

Scared and excited.

I learned it in kindergarten. It really stuck with me.

Just, there's been a lot of buildup, you know?

A lot of missed chances. I just really want it to go well.

I know it's been a while, so you just have to remember,

the first stop on her train…

It's gotta be downtown.

I hate horny Derek.

I black it out.

- I mean, he ain't wrong. - He ain't wrong.

All right, well…

Wish me luck.

I'm gonna give you the same advice you gave me on my first date.

Be yourself, have fun,

and you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

I think the toothpaste was my virginity.

- Yeah, we got it. - I had no idea.

Here goes nothing.

Hey.

You've got this.

Thanks, kiddo.

I gave my toothpaste to my math tutor.

Yeah, I think it went really well.

Even though nobody at the restaurant told me

I'd be interviewing with dre thibodeaux.

The dre thibodeaux?

- Stop doing that. - Never.

Anyway.

There's a lot of people up for this job and…

It's just real cool to be in the mix.

Fuck the mix. Sky's the limit for you, kid, you just got to believe it.

Shit.

Almost time for group.

- I gotta get going. - Hey,

Gaby helps run the veterans group, right?

- Yeah. - Do me a favor.

Ask me to come.

Wouldn't it be kinda weird, since you're not a vet?

I'd love to.

All right, everybody! Time to circle up, let's go.

Paul?

What are you doing here?

That would be me. I asked him to come.

Why?

'Cause he told me to.

Smooth.

I think what you're doing is great, so I thought I'd drop by and check it out.

- Really? - Yeah.

Then why haven't you said anything, not even once?

I'm shy.

All right, well, sit your ass down, and stay shy.

Hey. How you… how you doing?

Fellow vet? Guessing revolutionary war.

Did you know Paul revere?

No. But I knew your mama.

This is gonna be fun.

Guys?

Am I crazy, or is that Ava's purse?

She must have forgotten it.

Yeah, Liz, relax, it's not like she lives here.

Why would you say that?

So she does live here?

No.

So, whose thong is this?

Mine.

It's yours?

Yeah, I love a thong.

- 'Cause they're so comfy? - That's right.

Okay. Put it on.

Why wouldn't I?

I'm just gonna sit here and enjoy the show.

- Can't wait. - Don't do this.

Well, I'm doing it.

You realize this isn't gonna cover everything?

I feel like there's a chance it might.

Well, here we go.

- Ava is staying here. - Charlie!

- What was your plan? - To put on this thong,

and, if we're being real, probably enjoy wearing it.

Ava is living with you?

She lost her waitressing job and she couldn't afford to pay rent.

And her parents have practically disowned her,

so she couldn't move back home.

I told you that letting Ava into your lives was a slippery slope.

And you open the door a crack and now there's a thong up in it.

What if something bad had happened to her, Liz?

What if she'd been forced out onto the street

and had to get a sugar daddy

or marry some old, rich man that she didn't really love?

My god. What am I saying? It's like I'm describing my perfect life.

I get it. Letting Ava move in… was a compassionate thing to do.

Yes.

Thank you. I knew you'd understand.

It's just temporary.

She's really trying to find a job.

Wait, wait.

You guys think that someone as pretty as Ava can't find a job?

She couldn't just ditch her bra and be selling Tequila shots somewhere?

Wow, Liz. I hope for Sutton's sake

that our society is not as shallow as you seem to think it is.

Is this yours?

Well, I don't see her.

And…

I hate it when you're right.

I'm getting bored of it myself.

Hi.

You look great.

Thanks.

Cheers. But right up-front, you're not getting to second base.

I'm wearing my house bra.

Yeah. I was married. I know the one.

No under wire.

Yeah, you get it. Sort of like a sack you throw your boobs in.

- Yeah, that's the one. - So heads-up.

My ex-husband came to pick up my son for the night,

but they haven't left yet.

I was actually sort of hoping I would meet your ex tonight.

- Really? - No, not at all.

Right. That's insane.

Okay.

Jimmy, this is my son, Tate. And this is Nick.

- This is my friend, Jimmy. - Hey, hey.

- Hey. Nice to meet you. - Sofi tells me you're a therapist.

- I am. - I used to think about doing that.

Still could. You know, just takes, like, eight years of grad school.

That was the rub. Only took me one year to learn poolscape design.

I specialize in nature-based water slides.

Very cool. Water attractions really aren't my thing.

I almost drowned once in a lazy river.

- As a kid? - No.

Okay. Tate, don't be rude, can you say hi to Jimmy?

- 'Sup? - Nailed it.

Okay, let's get going. Why did we start playing a video game?

That was my fault.

I promised him if he got an a on his spelling test,

then he could do a round of diablo dungeons.

Okay.

We don't do screens in my house.

Screens suck.

Now I'm siding against you for absolutely no reason.

We could always, like, go out instead, if you want.

But I made coq au vin. Mostly 'cause I like saying it.

You don't have to leave.

As soon as he dies, then we'll take off.

He's never gonna get past drex.

Great, let's stick with the coq au vin.

- You just beat drex. - My god!

No way! He got past drex!

Level up level, level, level up!

Level up, level, level, level up!

- I'm sorry. - No. It's cool.

I think this is all really cool.

All right, since you're new here, introduce yourself by saying your name,

age, and your favorite one hit wonder band from the '90s.

Paul, 74, Marky Mark and the funky bunch.

The fuck is a funky bunch?

- I'll tell you later. - All right.

I want to begin by addressing the elephant in the room

of Maya's untimely passing.

Many of you got to know Maya, when she started coming here for MMA.

I'm sure you all have feelings about it.

I'll start.

This sucks.

She was definitely going through some shit.

But she smiled when she was here.

And she had a great smile.

It's weird that the last time I saw her, I was punching her in the face.

- Dude. - Still shook up.

Sometimes when we lose even an acquaintance,

it can stir up the pain of past losses.

Isn't that right, Paul?

Yeah, it's called "cumulative grief."

And just like in MMA, you gotta keep your guard up.

Even when you think you're okay,

the sadness can sneak up on you and kick your ass.

And that's why

it's important to let your friends show up for you.

Even your shy ones who bullshit about why they're really here.

What's happening?

They talking about us, but really about them.

I busted that dead chicks lip, bro.

I know, man.

You good.

- Plus, she kicked your ass. - She sure did.

I know.

Hi, I'm Ava...

shit.

Can you sit with us for a minute?

Just let me tell the manager. She's cool.

That's great that she's cool.

- What are you doing? - I don't know.

I don't like ambushing her like this. Makes it seem like I don't trust her.

Because you don't trust her.

That's because you made me not trust her.

- That's not true. - Yes, it is true.

It's totally true. It's true.

Look, I have to have a functional relationship with Ava

for the rest of my life.

- I'm leaving. - Stop. No, wait.

We have to confront her.

You do whatever you want.

I'm just gonna love her and bravely run away.

- Brian. - Hey, hey. Bye, Ava.

- I'll see you at home. - Bye.

No.

Okay.

Look, I only planned to stay with Brian and Charlie a little while.

Okay, so what happened?

Turns out, living with them is great. Things have been so hard with my parents.

Anyway, I got this job last week, but I just wasn't ready to go.

Ava, you deserve to have a great life,

but you've gotta give them their space.

By being this involved in their family,

you're not allowing them the chance to build theirs.

Okay. But how are you any different?

You walk into their house whenever you want

and you call their baby your baby.

Sutton likes when I do that.

Liz, you tracked me down to talk to me about what should go on

in Brian's house without Brian, in an olive garden.

A restaurant I am near positive you've never been to in your life.

I come here all the time.

I love their carb wands.

Those are called "bread sticks." And I know you want to try one.

What now?

I don't know. But I definitely need more of these.

On it.

Maybe some fried ravioli? I mean…

This is, like, surprisingly delicious.

Wish I hadn't said surprisingly.

It's okay.

I was gonna say I got this recipe from a trip to Paris,

but it's actually from guy fieri.

The only time I was in Paris,

I was dating this woman, and we did

- that whole lock-on-a-bridge thing. - Yeah.

It's funny I can't even remember her name right now.

Come on. Yes, you do.

Yes, I do. I just hate that it's not a pretty name.

Bernice.

You dated a Bernie.

I dated a Bernie.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Last person I dated before…

Tia.

Yeah. Sorry. She keeps coming up, doesn't she?

No, it's okay.

It's really special how much you miss her.

Seriously, it feels like that kind of love is once in a lifetime.

Maybe.

Sure hope not, though.

Grabbing the toolbox.

Tate made another level, so he's on fire.

- Cool. - Fuckin' drex.

I'm gonna go fix the back window screen. Someone could break in.

I'm not sure a screen is gonna stop a burglar.

He's remarried.

He has his own place, but he still struts around here

like he owns it.

You're the one that's always calling me to come fix stuff.

Because you're always showing up unannounced.

He insists on having a key.

'Cause she insists on having primary custody.

- Okay. I'm sorry. - Okay.

- Yep. - We haven't really nailed the transition

to respectful co-parenting.

Well, it's nothing a little counseling wouldn't nip in the bud.

Yes, that is what I keep saying, but one of us is being a bitch about it.

- Come on. - Calm down. I didn't say who.

It's him.

If only I knew a good therapist.

- Absolutely not. - You're a bad therapist?

No, I'm awesome.

But it would be wildly inappropriate, so…

Come on. I'm here, he's here.

Can't you just do that thing that you told me about

where you go, I don't know, rogue?

"Jimmying." thought that would have stuck with you.

I mean it's just my name.

- Jimmying then? - Yeah.

No. Sorry, I'm just gonna enjoy coq au vin.

See, she always does this.

She's always putting people on the spot.

- That's me putting you on the spot? - Yeah.

Because I'm trying to actually confront you about something that happened.

Listen, I wanna get back to our date, so I'm just gonna cut right to it.

Nick, I am sensing that you have unresolved attachment.

So unresolved.

- Not super helpful. - Okay.

Your frequent presence around sofi's house,

it probably isn't about fixing stuff, or co-parenting.

It's about easing your guilt over blowing up your marriage.

You're just taking her side 'cause you want to sleep with her.

Sofi. You also have unresolved attachment.

Maybe he doesn't want to sleep with you.

- Yes, he does. - Suck it.

I think you tolerate his dysfunction

because it's easier for you to default to your old dynamic,

which includes having a built-in handyman,

than it is to learn how to set boundaries.

Look, you can't keep blaming Nick

until you clearly define what your boundaries are.

I want my house key back.

Thank you for seeing us today.

I'm always available for emergency sessions.

Although, this one's obviously a little different

than that time Mark sent money to that Instagram model.

She needed supplies for her class.

She taught tai chi in the park.

All right.

I know how much Maya meant to the both of you.

We're just trying to make sense of it.

I heard she had drugs in her system

and I didn't know she had an issue with that. Did you?

I can't really speak to specifics

because I still have to protect Maya's privacy,

but I do have a lot of experience with addiction,

and unfortunately, things like this can and do happen

to people who self-medicate.

We talked to her aunt at the funeral

and she told us that Maya's mom had a drug problem too

and abandoned her when she was ten.

You didn't know that?

Okay. Maya and I were just starting our work together,

and I am sure that if I had just a little more time…

- If you had more time? - …she'd have told me about that.

Maya was obviously in trouble. Aren't you supposed to see that?

What did you talk about in here?

I understand that you guys are feeling angry and confused

and it is okay to take it out on me.

It just feels a little weird

that we seem to know more about this than you do.

Yeah, okay…

Guys, given what's happened, I do think, you know, it's good for me

to acknowledge that there may be a loss of trust here.

And as much as I value and care about you guys,

I am obligated to ask if you guys would feel more comfortable

seeing someone else moving forward?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Wow. See that? You finally did it. You agreed on something.

Yeah. I did that. Yay.

What the hell, Liz?

Ava just texted us that she's moving in with a friend.

You totally overstepped here.

Yep. And it's all your fault.

Our fault? How come we're the ones in trouble right now?

Because you let me take over. You let me bulldoze you at every turn.

- Liz... - not now, Charlie, I'm talking.

- Sorry. - See? You just did it again.

You have to fire me.

We're not gonna fire you.

You're raising a child.

You have to be in control of your own home.

Do it.

Don't look to him for permission, you coward. Do it.

- You're fired. - No, I'm not.

Do you guys know what the word "assertive" means?

If it helps,

I took Sutton to her first brunch behind your back.

And I took photos of her holding my mimosa.

We were saving that to do as a family, you whore.

- Get her. - We are sick and tired of you

- acting like you run this house. - Yeah.

When Sutton should sleep and where,

- how we should feed her… - yeah.

…bathe her, burp her.

We are her parents, Liz.

- Us. - You want a baby? Tough titties.

You're gonna have to wait for one of those dumb sons of yours

to make you a grandma!

There. You did it.

I'm fired. And it's for the best.

Obviously, Sutton will miss me.

You know, our little nuzzles and our bath time routine

with the little duckies, and… well…

- But it's okay. - Hey, no. Liz.

We appreciate everything you've done for us.

We truly never could've gotten to a place

of needing only one full-time nanny without you.

- Thank you for everything you taught us. - You're welcome.

Please stay in her life.

I'm still gonna come over whenever I like.

I'm just not gonna babysit for free anymore.

What have we done?

All right. Bye, buddy. Good job killing drex.

I'm not gonna say that was a great first date.

But there was awesome food.

Interesting conversation.

Probably a lot more yelling than you expected.

Maybe a little.

Although, bernice was Italian, so that whole relationship was quite loud.

Is that racist?

Only a little.

Hey, Jimmy, can I ask you a favor?

I know I ruined tonight,

but… can we try for another first date sometime?

Just tell me when.

Now.

- Hey. - Jesus Christ.

Why are you here so late?

Because you are.

Mark and Donna fired me.

That sucks.

What happened?

Before they did,

they told me that Maya had some pretty severe abandonment issues.

I never got that out of her, Paul.

We can't control

what our patients decide not to share with us.

No wonder she spiraled when her friends moved away.

You know, if I knew, I could've done something.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Loneliness is a bitch.

And it's a lonely world out there.

You know, the worst part is not knowing

if it was on purpose, or if it was an accident.

Death is death.

Try not to beat yourself up trying to figure out the semantics of it all.

So you're saying it doesn't matter if I ever know?

I'm saying, I think you already do know.

You know, I spent so much time moving into trauma work.

I never even stopped to think if I should.

And that was a big fucking mistake because it turns out I suck at it.

No, you don't.

It was an occupational hazard.

Maya's just the first one,

and I promise you, if you go down this road,

she won't be the last.

What are you doing?

I'm canceling all my patients for next week.

I changed my mind.

I do need time off.

Do you remember that mentor of mine from bellevue?

Whenever the shit hit the fan,

he always would say the same thing and it really stuck with me.

He said, "the longer it takes for you to get back on the horse,

the less likely it is that you will ever be able to get back on."

Yeah. Well, fuck the horse.

Good night, Paul.

Woof.