Original subtitles

Ah, there I go.

Those were the days when my life was, well,

a typical dog's life.

- Slow down!

That's Doctor Island, my companion and friend.

When he took me out, I ran around with him

as if each day were the last.

- Oh, Lenny, wait!

Oh, Lenny, wait.

Lenny, slow down.

Oh.

Mommy!

Boy, those were the days.

- Heads up, not that far, fire hydrant!

Wait, wait!

Oh!

Hello?

What?

Yes, I already have a subscription to,

oh, oh, wait, wait.

Is that you, Wagner?

No, I know it's you.

What, no, no, it's not funny.

No, it's not funny.

I mean, it wasn't funny 20 years ago,

and it's not funny now.

I told you once and I will tell you again.

I will never, ever sell you the chip!

Whoa!

But let me get back to the story.

Ah, home sweet home.

The door!

Get, yow!

Another flea?

I guess that's just the price you pay for being cage free.

Cage free, what are you saying?

Oh, don't bother with that mutt, Klaus.

What does he know anyway?

Quiet, you mutt, always starting trouble.

Back in the day, I would have taken you out with my--

Hey, whoa, relax yourself, Terminator.

All I said was it's a beautiful day to get a flea.

Terminator, I'm Governator, you mutt.

Oh, not again, always fighting back and forth.

Don't let that mutt get to you, Ilsa.

He's just a mutt.

- Oh, yeah.

That's just perfect, absolutely.

Ah, you see, the Doc knows what

a superior specimen is.

Ah, all of you males are the same.

Always comparing your--

Alright, everybody ready for breakfast?

Oh hey, me first.

Quiet, you fool, we are always first.

Okay, okay.

I think the Doc is putting a little too much of somethin'

in your dog chow.

Finally, some food.

Enough, stop bickering.

I want to eat in peace.

- Lenny, one day, when the chip is ready,

I'll teach you how to do that, okay?

But first I'm gonna get you something to eat, alright?

But my food!

- Yes?

- Oh, hi, sir.

We're from the cable company.

- The cable company?

- Yes, sir, the cable company.

- But I don't have a TV.

- The gas company, sir, the gas company.

- The gas company?

Gas?

Klaus.

Yes, sir, the gas company.

- You just said you were from the cable company.

- But, sir, you don't have a TV, duh.

- Wagner!

Wag who?

Arnold, we have intruders.

- I have to get rid of everything.

Intruders, let me out!

- Wagner can't see any of this.

My experiments.

What are you waiting for?

Arnold, do something.

Get me my rocket launcher.

I'll take care of this for you, Doctor.

Oh, all my hard work.

Oh, come on, I didn't eat yet.

- The chip!

Oh God, oh geez, the chip, I have to do

something about the...

Hey, this has nothin' to with me.

- The chip.

Lenny, up.

Oh, I don't like the looks of this.

- Good luck, Lenny.

Ouch, Doc, that really hurt.

Now you're the only one with the smart chip.

The what?

I don't want to go.

No, stop, ow, you're hurting me!

- Try to find Razel, and remember this.

Don't let Wagner get a hold of that chip!

Oh!

- Well, Panky, I smell a gas leak, how about you?

- Tell Doctor Wagner he will never find the chip.

- Oh ho ho ho.

See, Panky here has a pretty good nose.

He can smell fear from miles away.

Are you scared, Doc?

Hand over the chip.

- You'll never find the chip.

- I'll ask for it one more time.

The chip, Doc. - Never.

- The chip, Doc. - Never!

- Hand over the chip. - No!

- Come on, hand over the chip.

- No!

- Hand over the chip.

- Say please.

- Please hand over the chip.

- No. - But I said please.

- No, you said please hand over the chip.

- So what's the difference?

- Huge difference.

- Uh, if he,

Panky, Shake his arms wildly.

Oh, no.

No, you're hurting him, stop!

- Panky, get that dog!

Oh, come, let me go!

- Yes.

Ah!

Oh, boy.

All that excitement made me kind of hungry.

Food, It smells like food around here.

There's gotta be somethin' good to eat.

I can't think clearly on an empty stomach.

Oh, this looks good.

Oh!

Hmm.

Okay.

Uh-oh, it's gettin' dark, and it sure smells like rain.

I don't smell so good when I get wet.

A dog in an alley in the rain.

What were they thinking?

What's with this chip, who's Doctor Wagner?

And find Razel?

All this thinking is giving me a headache.

I really miss the Doc.

I could really use a friend.

Hey, kid, lookin' for a friend?

Marty, get away from that filthy mutt!

Okay, okay.

I don't smell that bad, I just need a friend.

Something is,

whoa, hey, my eyes!

What's going on?

Hmm, my blood sugar, it must be low.

I think I know how to do this.

Press the pedal and voila!

Hey, this looks good.

And it's good for you, too.

Oh, no.

Yipes!

Oh!

Kathy, Kathy?

Cut to live video now!

- We live in the best town in the world.

With the best people in the world.

We are the world.

Our children,

are the future of our world.

Future, future, future.

World, world, world.

- And now, Channel Eight's Investigates.

The mysterious missing children case that for the past

six months has been plaguing Newyville,

a town that practically glues its people to the ground

so they won't leave and realize any dreams,

is raising some questions about Newyvillites' safety.

In the last few months, there have been a number of unsolved

kidnappings, with the only clue being an obscure

black SUV that has been spotted in the neighborhood

of the kidnappings.

And now, on to sports with Dallas Hugermeyer.

- It is very important to have a career plan.

The earlier you choose a career, the easier it will be

to reach your goals.

Before we begin the actual testing, I want to hear from

you what your plans are for your future.

Let me see a show of hands.

Henry.

- I want my own law firm with major corporations as clients,

so I can insidiously manipulate world economics.

Because then I'll be rich like my dad,

Senator Gearson A. McKinley.

- Very ambitious.

Who else?

Rainbow.

- I want to be a supermodel, so I can travel

all around the world and buy the best clothes

and get everything I want just because of my looks

and be famous everywhere I go.

- Oh, so, Rainbow aspires to be an actress,

and Henry wants to be a Republican.

Anyone else?

How about you, Zack?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

- You know, Mrs. Ripley?

- Watch it, Zach.

- I don't want to be a lawyer, I obviously don't want

to be a model.

I don't want to be a doctor, a dentist nor do I wish

to be a cardiologist.

I want my future to be free from preconceptions

and childish dreams.

You know what, Mrs. Ripley?

40 years ago, a kid stood in this very classroom

and was asked that very question.

And do you know what he answered?

He answered that he wanted to have a flower shop

because of the look on his mother's face every time

she bought flowers.

And today, Mrs. Ripley, I gave that man a sandwich,

like I do every day on my way to school through the alley.

So because John Parker Senior doesn't have a future,

I can't think about my future, Mrs. Ripley.

How about the rest of you?

- Loser!

- Quiet!

Let's begin the testing.

Everybody clear your desks.

Only two number two pencils.

You have 35 minutes for the first part, 25 for the second.

Absolutely no talking.

Once you have finished, put your pencil down and wait

until time is over.

- Uh, no thanks, I think I'll pass.

- Either you do it here, Zach, or you can do it

at the principal's office.

Your choice.

- Really, a choice?

That's new.

Whoa.

- Hold this.

Don't ask me what kind of day I'm having.

- I want to hear.

- First of all, my mom dropped me off at school

15 minutes late. - Oh.

- And you know what kind of pressure you're under

when you write for the Bugle. - Actually--

- It's deadline, deadline, deadline.

- Deadline--

- Then Mrs. Ripley tells me that I haven't been

to enough classes, and if I'm not at school tomorrow,

she's gonna fail me. - Uh, actually--

- I mean, what does she think I'm doing when

I'm missing the classes?

Hanging out with my friends and watching cartoons?

You know I kicked that habit a long time ago.

- Right.

- And then at eight this morning, I had a meeting

with the editor of the Bugle to discuss

my newspaper article.

- Last week's article was great.

- I have to have an article by next week,

and I have no idea what to write about.

I mean, I have to find a story.

There must be something out there.

- You'll find something, I mean, you always do.

- Why aren't you in class?

- Let's just say Mrs. Ripley and I didn't see eye to eye.

- Again?

- Well yeah, I guess that's just the way

the crumbles cookie.

I mean--

- What are we gonna do with you, Zach Dylan?

- I'll survive.

I think.

- Becky, come on, we have work to do.

- Alright, I'm coming.

Listen, Zach, I gotta go but knock on my window sometime.

- Hey, Becky?

- Yeah?

- Would you like to go to the Angie concert with me?

- Zach, somebody already asked me.

Besides, what would you do at a concert?

- Yeah, you're right, I mean, a concert, me.

Hey, it's okay, don't worry about it.

Maybe next time.

- Okay, Zach, maybe next time.

Hanky, Panky, I'm very upset.

- We swear, Doctor Wagner, the Doc just wouldn't talk.

If you hadn't put Doctor Island in a coma,

we'd have the chip by now.

- Well, it doesn't really matter, because we think that

the dog has the chip inside of

Shut up!

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

The dog.

Tell me about the dog.

- Oh.

Well, let's see.

He's about two feet tall.

Yellow hair.

Wanna say yellow, it's more of like a blond.

Sort of like Britney.

But since she dyed it, She went through that phase

where she dyed it.

I don't know why yellow, it,

very cute face, adorable.

- Shut up.

The dog.

- He ran away.

But we managed to get his collar, and with Panky's nose,

we think that we'll get the dog in no time.

- Thank you, Panky.

Mmm.

- Green on yellow.

That's so wrong.

- Help me.

Help me.

Ah!

Thank y'all very much.

Now, ladies and gentleman your Chief of Police.

- Give it up for Officer John Wyndham, kids!

He's somethin'.

Ain't he?

Uh, kids, kids.

Now I need to mention something a little more serious.

We've already discussed the kidnapping epidemic

here in our city.

I need to ask you to do something.

I need you to keep your eyes open,

to be aware, and to be responsible.

We will catch this evildoer!

Yeah.

Yeah, and now, for our next piece of entertainment,

ladies and gentlemen, Ginger, the Opera Parrot!

Great job, John, once again, you killed 'em.

- Thanks, Chief.

Chief, I want to talk to you about the breaking

and entering at uh, Doctor Island's lab.

- Are you available on Saturday evening?

My wife wants to invite you over for dinner.

I told her you maybe could do a few of your tricks,

your voices, you know.

- But what about the Doc?

- The Doc?

- Doctor Island's lab.

- Oh, right, right.

Don't worry about that, I put Fartman and Harley

on that case.

- You promised me I could have the next case that came up.

- You know what?

We need help with the paperwork.

So you can get over there right now and start on the report.

Oh, Saturday night, John, right?

It'll be great.

Hey, maybe you can do some of those dog voices.

Oh.

Okay, I need to find a friend that can help me.

How about this guy?

Herschel Lipshittz.

Eh, he looks grumpy.

Hmm, maybe her.

Uh, never home?

Then again, maybe not.

Oh, yoga.

Flexible.

That could be interesting.

Vegetarian, nah.

Hey, now that's more like it, a kid.

Zach.

Oh, here's my chance.

Hey, kid, wait.

You left somethin' behind.

Zach, Zach, you forgot something.

You forgot this, wait.

What do I have to do to get this kid to notice me?

- Hey, thanks.

Smart dog.

Hi, Zach.

- No collar.

You noticed.

- Are you lost?

Lost, well, technically, no, but--

- Hungry?

Hungry, yes, I'm always hungry.

- You are hungry.

You read my mind.

- Alright, come on, let's go get somethin' to eat.

Hallelujah.

- One black, two half and half, sweet.

Hey chop-chop, double chop, let's go.

- Hey, I'm supposed to be part of this investigation.

- No you're supposed to be assisting the detectives.

We are the detectives.

You need to get us some coffee.

Go.

- Coffee?

- Black, two sugars.

- Just to let you know, my mom's allergic to dogs,

so I'll sneak you into my room until we figure out

what to do with you.

She's not anal, is she?

- What should I call you?

Well, the Doc called me Lenny.

How about Hemingway?

A cat's name?

- Aw, that's not a dog's name.

How about Holden?

Well, I was thinking Duke or--

- Oh, oh, I know.

What, you like Holden, too?

Holding what?

- You don't like Holden.

Why can't dogs just talk?

Hey, kid, if you heard some of my new thoughts,

you'd have me put to sleep.

I think this kid needs a friend as much as I do.

Ooh, nice green lawn.

And so lush.

- Doctor Wagner, did you love or hate your father?

- I loved my father in many ways and in many ways,

I hated my father.

If you mean my natural father, I never really knew him,

because he was, of course, a trapeze artist in the circus.

Zach, is that you?

I'm making your favorite, schnitzel.

Woo-hoo, schnitzel.

- Yeah Mom, thanks, I love you.

Alright.

- She is the worst cook in the entire world.

Hey, meet me upstairs, I will get us something to eat.

Wow, Mom, sounds great, yeah.

- When you were in the circus with your family.

- Yes.

- Did you have a special skill?

- Yes, I did, I used to juggle things.

I used to juggle what, well, I actually got into a lot

of trouble because I used to juggle live animals,

which is not really allowed.

I used to like to take cats and hamsters and occasionally

an eagle, you know, but it would be wrapped up in tape.

- Well noted, and now a Channel Eight Update.

Doctor Island is still in a coma,

doctors at Newyville Hospital say.

Doctor.

- Doctor?

Yeah, Doctor Island's my owner.

- That's your owner?

Havin' trouble keepin' up with me kid?

- Hope he's gonna be alright.

- I really hope so, too.

- Jorgenson has been stated as saying,

"Yah, the birds are landing on the cows' backs."

- Are you talking to me?

- Talking, you can hear me?

- I'm definitely hearing you.

- Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

- I gotta kick that cartoon habit.

- You mean like Scooby Doo?

Holy sababa!

Zach, are you sure gonna be--

- Bless you.

Don't let her in, I'm not ready to

meet the parents.

Are you sure you're gonna be okay all a--

- Bless you.

Listen, Zach and ladies and gentlemen,

this is important.

We're going on vacation for a couple of days

with Becky's parents.

Your uncle, that clown, will be staying with you.

- Bless you.

Alright.

- Why are you talking?

- Can you hear me or just what I'm thinking?

- Yes, I can hear you.

- Wow, this means, oh, you better grab a pencil, kid.

Now, now, have you ever eaten dog food?

No, I didn't think so.

Why, because it's gross.

When you think of food, you think of steaks, hamburgers

and even hot dogs.

But I try to stay away from spicy foods and beans.

I don't have to tell you why.

- Wait a second, wait a second.

How the heck are you talking?

Good question.

Where shall I begin?

I was just a cute little puppy when the Doc first found me.

Doctor Island took me home, fed me, and gave me

a nice cozy bed, too.

Life was simple then, just a dog havin' a doggy

kind of life.

- What's your name?

The Doc named me Lenny.

- How come you can talk?

Well, actually I'm just figuring all this out

for myself as we speak.

Everything is just so different.

I mean, I feel different, but not just feel different.

I'm learning, thinking, rationalizing.

Now that I think about it, I can remember.

Remember what?

Those guys.

They were from Braino, Doc Wagner's company.

He sent those guys for the chip.

Doctor Island said to make sure they don't get a hold

of the chip, but it's stamped in me.

- You saw them?

Sort of.

There was a big guy, never got a look at his face,

but I don't think I've seen the last of them anyway.

If they want the chip, then they want me.

Oh, boy, this isn't good,

I'm about to become another statistic.

And the Doc, what am I gonna do?

Don't worry, Lenny, we'll figure something out.

Do you think we should go to the police?

- Yeah, they'll believe this.

Yeah, you're right.

Who would believe a kid, anyway?

Okay, whoever it is, stall 'em.

I'll think of something.

- Uh, Lenny, you go hide.

Becky. - Hey.

- What are you doing here?

- Can I use your computer?

- My computer?

- I need to use your computer.

- My computer is crashed, sorry.

- You just bought it last week.

- Computers.

- Is everything okay?

Uh, Zach, are you ready?

We gotta go.

- Uh, be right there, Dad.

- Your parents are on vacation with my parents.

Hey, Zach, son, we're pressed for time.

Let's go, my little buddy, champ.

- I'm coming, Daddy.

- Zach, what's going on?

- Nothin', nothin's goin' on, yeah.

- Oh my gosh, when'd you get a dog?

Isn't your mom allergic?

- Well, you see--

- Oh, he's so cute.

- Thanks, doll face.

- You're welcome, you're welcome, you cute little thing.

Zach?

- Yeah?

- I'm gonna slowly turn around now, and, candidly,

I prefer the utter humiliation of you having a tape recorder

in your hand and a camera in the corner

than the fact that your dog just thanked me.

In English.

- Any time, babe.

Oh my God.

Yeah?

- Hi, we're from the dog company.

Uh-oh.

The dog company?

- Yeah, the dog company.

Those are the two guys from Braino.

How did they know to find me here?

- Hey, little to the left.

Oh hey, pictures.

- Good.

- What the heck is the dog company?

- Oh, this is so good.

Cheese.

- Talking dog, this is gonna be everywhere.

I'm gonna be like with Barbara Walters talking about--

Hey.

- I mean, I can interview Barbara Walters.

Oh, this is beyond comprehension, I'm just so good.

- Yes, there is such a thing as a dog company.

- No, there isn't. - Yes, there is.

- Oh yeah, what does it do?

- Come on, kid, let us in. - No.

- I'll tell you one more time.

Let us in, kid.

- No.

- Come on, kid, let us in.

- Say please.

- Please let us in, kid.

- Uh, no.

- But I said please.

That's it.

- Hey, look!

I think it's the two guys from Braino.

But don't worry, I locked the--

- Ah! - Door, run!

Hey.

Hey Hanky.

- What?

How about I stamp your forehead

and Express Mail you to jail?

- Oh?

Ah!

That's for the Doc.

Yes!

Uh, uh, uh, yeah!

Uh, guys.

Guys, I think we should get going.

Zach! - Follow me.

- Okay.

- Oh, Panky, stop that.

- Lenny?

Hmm.

Never interrupt me while I'm singing.

- Sorry. - It's okay.

- It was quite beautiful.

- Thank you.

Did you find the dog?

- Uh, sir.

The dog, well, I don't know how to put this.

The, the, the--

- Come on!

- Well, he can talk.

- Talk?

- Talk, he can talk.

- Talk?

- Talk. - Hmm.

- The dog can talk?

- Mmm. - Yes.

- I thought you kicked the cartoon habit.

- I did.

- Right.

That shouldn't have happened.

Chip should only make him intelligent.

You listen to me, Hanky.

- Okay.

- And Panky.

You find me that dog, or you'll be working

at the post office where I found you, is that clear?

- No!

Not that, not the post office, please, no.

- Then bring me that dog!

Alright?

- Yes, sir, I mean, sir, yes, sir.

So those two are the same guys

that knocked out Doctor Island?

Same guys.

- First president of the United States?

George Washington.

- Becky, he's smart.

And who's this guy we're going to now?

Razel, he's a friend of the Doctor.

Just up the street here.

- What's the lowest place in the world?

The Dead Sea.

- Becky, he's really smart.

So, you think this guy can help us?

I'm sure he can help.

- Capital of Cambodia?

Phnom Penh.

Becky, really, he knows everything.

- Where are we going?

- Razel. - Who's Razel?

A friend of the Doctor.

- Is it far? - No.

- Do you think he could help us?

Yes.

- Tina Turner's real name.

Anna Mae Bullock.

- Becky, he's smart, really.

Really, really, really, really smart.

- This is gonna be the best story

the Bugle has ever published.

Here, this is it.

That?

It's a dump.

Yeah, yeah, don't worry.

He's a really great guy.

I mean, he's been acting a little weird since

the accident, but he's fine, you'll see.

- Follow me.

Welcome.

- Whoa.

This place is huge.

Wait a second.

- Doctor Island told me a few years ago he was working on

something for Pavlov Laboratories.

He mentioned a fellow scientist named Doctor Wagner,

who started to play around with some of the experiments.

Doctor Island felt that he had to turn him in.

So they fired Doctor Wagner.

- What were the experiments?

- It was a chip that programs dogs.

Doing away with the costly and time consuming

teaching process.

- What do you mean?

- Say you want to get a police dog, right?

Well, with the chip that the Doc was working on,

all you need to do is take the chip, stamp it on

the dog and you've got a trained canine.

Oh, great, I'm an experiment, how humiliating.

Suddenly I have indigestion.

- So you want a seeing eye dog, you got it.

You want a bomb-sniffing dog, you got it.

All you need is that chip.

- So, how come Lenny can talk?

- I don't know.

I don't think the Doc meant for that to happen.

- There are two men after us, and they want the dog.

- I think I know someone who can help us.

- His name is Chun Yung Yong Ying Yang Ying Ying Labovich.

He is so powerful, he once fought off 54 Ninjas

all by himself.

- Whoa.

54 Ninjas.

- Oh, he's not much to look at,

but don't let his appearance deceive you.

He is brutal.

He's sharp, he's lethal.

Kind of like you.

- What do you mean?

- Sometimes it's better not to ask too many questions,

oh young one.

- Hey, Chief, hey, guys.

I've been thinking about the Doctor Island case.

- Hey, is that really John, or is it just the sound

of him walkin' in here talkin' about our case?

- Harley!

Quiet.

What have you got for us, John?

- I think it has something to do with the Doc's dog, sir.

- I think this has something to do with the Doctor.

- Fartman, shut up.

- Sorry, Chief.

- A dog, John?

- Yes, sir.

Well, let me break it down to you.

When I went to the crime scene, I saw there was

an unfinished doggy bowl in the Doctor's lab

with a name on it, Lenny.

Now, there was this doggy bowl, but no doggy.

I noticed there were scratch marks on the window,

which suggested some kind of altercation,

so, of course, I decided to take paw prints.

- Paw prints?

Get outa here, boys.

I want a word alone with John.

- Yeah, but Chief, I want to hear--

- Shh.

I'm sorry.

- John.

John.

John.

You know, I truly loved your mother.

But your father was my best friend.

I don't want you working on this case anymore.

- But Chief. - Debora!

John, that is an order.

Now, get outta here.

- You know what?

I don't need this.

You don't need a badge to make coffee.

Take care, Chief.

- Hey, look who it is.

Ace Ventura!

- Yeah, look at the dork!

The eyewitnesses all say they saw

a mysterious black SUV in the area where

the teenage kidnappings occurred.

Lady, that's a Hummer not an SUV.

- If you have any information, please call Chief Greenwald's

office at area code 555-555-5555.

Mmm, oh, yeah, that's a good chew.

- That number again, area code 555-555-5555.

She must have known somebody to get that job.

- We'll be right back after these messages.

Hello.

- Kathy? - No, Mom.

we're still live, get off the phone.

- Gotta go, Mom, I love ya, bye-bye.

In a related story, the stolen cookies have been found

in the basement of Principal Waters' home.

Half the cookies are missing and presumed eaten.

Principal Waters is still sticking to his story

that hooligans placed them there to discredit him.

His wife Marjorie, president of the Junior League, concurs.

- So, what are you writing?

- It's my Pulitzer Prize-winning article.

- About Lenny.

- Yeah and Razel, I mean, what a character.

- It'll probably be a great article.

What I'm gonna do next--

- Maybe a little hard to top,

Cutting Music Class Is a Shame.

That was probably your best one.

Although, I think that, Why Today's Kids' Movies Suck

is a pretty close second.

- I didn't know you read my articles.

- It's the only thing worth reading in the Bugle.

- How come we don't hang out like we used to?

- Well, I don't know.

I mean, I guess two years apart isn't always two years.

I mean, yeah, when you were eight and I was six,

it's only two years, but now that you're 14

and I'm 12, it's a lot more.

You know, it will never be the same.

- Do you remember what the score was?

- 48 to you, 50 to me.

- Right, you came back to take the lead.

- Best moments of my life.

- But, you know I always let you win, though.

- Um, no.

- Well, yes.

- Um, nuh-uh.

- Yuh-huh.

- Nuh-uh. - Oh, yuh-huh.

- Nuh-uh. - Yuh-huh.

- Nuh-uh. - Yuh-huh.

- Nuh-uh. - Yuh-huh.

- Nuh-uh. - Yuh-huh.

- Nuh-uh. - Yuh-huh.

49 to 50.

- Sababa.

Hey, that hurt!

Stop it, stop it!

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Uh.

- What's goin' on? - They're here.

- Where's my camera?

- Razel, I think the two guys are out--

- I know, follow me.

Okay, kids, go find Chun Yung Yong.

- Where is he?

- Chun Yung Yong will be at these exact coordinates.

- But that's all the way back at the park.

How we gonna get there?

- Take two and get outa here.

Holy sababa!

- Woo! - Thanks, Razel.

- Good luck, kids!

And whatever happens, don't let Doctor Wagner get

a hold of Lenny!

Hmm.

- Wait a sec.

There's something happening here.

This is preposterous, this is ridiculous,

this is all the words that end with ous.

I'm not kidding, this makes me angry!

Oh God, what is the problem?

You're not supposed to be standing there.

You make so angry!

- I told you not to bother me when I'm exercising.

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

Did you get the dog?

Well, it goes like this.

- Did you get the dog?

- No.

- Ah.

How can I take these people seriously?

Come back to headquarters.

- But, sir, the dog.

- Hanky, come back to headquarters.

- Yes, sir, I, I mean, sir, yes, sir!

- And bring Panky.

Time to nab another kid.

Hey, isn't that the guy from Police Acade--

Lenny, not one word.

- I'm ready.

I'm ready.

- Razel sent us.

- I don't know who Razel is!

- He said that you were very humble.

- Wait a minute, are you Fartman's kid?

- So humble.

He said that once you fought of 54 ninjas

all by yourself.

- 54 ninjas, right, right.

- We need your help.

- You know what, I think that's enough.

- What do you mean?

- I mean, I got the joke, kid.

You don't have to tell me twice, alright?

Just let it go.

- But Razel sent us.

- Razel, just what...

Look, I tell you what, why don't you go back to this

Razel character or whoever put you up to this

and tell them that I, Officer John Wyndham,

is not gonna take this anymore.

Hey, he's not Chun Yung King, oh, forget it.

Who is this guy?

- You're a police officer?

- Well, I was.

- Razel never mentioned anything about you being

a police officer.

- Then you need to help us.

- Whoa, a Ninja cop!

- Listen, I gotta go, I'm gonna leave now, okay?

- There are two men after us.

- You're not gonna help us?

Nobody said it was gonna be easy, kid.

Maybe I shouldn't have put him in this situation.

- I don't understand.

Razel said he'd help us.

What are we doing, Zach?

- I don't know.

- I think we should go to the police.

- Oh, yeah, and tell them what?

Hey, everybody, we're the kids with the talking dog.

- You don't have to be so cynical.

- I want to be cynical, everybody's cynical.

Why can't I be cynical?

- I don't see how this is helping.

- Yeah, well, you don't see a lot of things.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Besides, what do you care?

Scared you might not get that front page article

about Lenny the Wonder Dog?

- Grow up, Zach.

- Here's Hanky!

And Panky!

- Holy sababa!

- Come on, let's get outta here.

- Let's get 'em!

- Zach Lenny!

Go hide under the bleachers!

Oh, what have I gotten 'em into?

- Stacey Malone.

Becky Greene.

- Here.

- Bailey Butt.

Tracy Knight.

- I think we lost them.

- Okay, let's go get Lenny.

- Oh, yes.

Panky, Panky.

That was amazing.

We really showed them that time.

- I know, I think Lenny's over there.

Oh, we were awesome, I mean, we totally showed them.

Becky, come on.

Becky.

Hey Becky, look out!

Becky, no!

Becky!

If you want to see your girlfriend again, give us the dog.

- And in other news, the city of Newyville is all hyped up

for the upcoming Angie concert, to be held tonight

at the Doctor Richard Wagner Auditorium.

- What?

What?

It's okay.

I just want to know

why anyone would rehearse a perfectly good dance routine

and then kill it by dancing like a big heavy cow!

A big moo I can't dance heavy cow!

Alphonse, Julian, any ideas?

Rupert, you don't dance like oxen.

You're lovely, Rupert, you dance like a hippo!

But not a lovely dancing hippo, like a big fat hippo

that doesn't know how to dance and has had one

of his legs cut off!

That kind of hippo.

Rupert, yes!

Now what?

- We got somethin' for ya.

Sorry.

- It's okay.

- If it wasn't for me, none of this would have happened.

- Don't say that.

- That's it, Zach, make the deal, exchange me for Becky.

- No, Lenny, that's out of the question.

I'm just trying to think.

Who can help us, I mean, before you came along, well,

she was my only friend.

I'm sorry I got you into this, kid.

Whoa.

- I had a feeling I'd find you here.

Where's your friend?

Okay, tell me again, who are they?

- The two guys that work for Doctor Wagner.

He wants the dog.

- You mean Doctor,

One of the Most Respected Guys in this Town Wagner

wants to get two guys to kidnap a dog.

- Yeah, he wants Lenny.

- Lenny?

- Yeah, Lenny.

- Doctor Island's dog?

Yeah, Lenny.

- Now, why would Doctor Wagner want Doctor Island's dog?

- He has some sort of chip in him.

You see, Doctor Island was working on

a special chip for dogs.

- Wait, well, how do you know all this, kid?

- Razel!

I can't take it anymore, too many questions.

We don't have that much time.

Alright, come on, Lenny, you just tell him.

Okay, okay.

- Geez!

See, now you believe me?

I told you.

- No, just...

What we can't do is walk into Braino without a plan.

When you're right, you're right.

- Thank you.

Stop!

- So what's the plan?

- Actually, it's very simple.

Okay, Lenny and me'll handle this.

You wait here, I go up top, grab a brick, drop it down,

you scream, they come out, I jump on top of them,

break their heads and we get inside, no problem.

Nothin' but swish.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

I stay here, you go up there, I make a noise--

Ugh, never send a man to do a dog's job.

And we're set, nothin' but net.

- Hey, there.

What a cute little puppy dog.

- Or we stay here, Lenny goes there,

no, that's stupid, he's a dog.

- Hey, Jeff, come on out here and look at this puppy dog.

What you got there, Ernie?

About the cutest puppy dog you ever seen.

- Oh my Lord.

- What kind of breed you think he is?

- I think he's a little cutie breed.

- Guys.

I'm a dog, not a baby.

- That's the stupidest plan I've ever heard.

Coast is clear.

Today?

- So, on what floor do you they're holding Becky?

- Uh...

Oh, here it is, 10.

Uh-oh.

Not again.

- What the,

Who pressed nine? - Who pressed nine?

Sorry.

- It's okay. - It's okay.

I gotta remember this floor.

- Come on, Lenny.

Hey, John, look.

Oh my gosh.

- What do you want to be when you grow up?

- I want to work in the Braino Corporation.

- Why?

- To help Doctor Wagner rule the world.

Good.

Next question, what is Tina Turner's real name?

- That's one of the kidnapped kids.

- Alright, we gotta do something.

- Well, wait, wait, one thing at a time.

One thing at a time.

Freeze, like a popsicle!

- Finally, I have you in my fist.

- Where's Lenny?

- Ah, as we speak, the dog is being analyzed.

- Let him go, you nasty sack of sh--

- Hey!

Watch the language, kid, we want to stay away from PG-13.

- What are you doing with the kids?

- Well, well, well.

Smart boy like you not able to figure that out?

- Kids are the future.

If you want to control the future,

you have to control the kids.

Your dog, or should I say my dog,

has a chip in him

that poor Doctor Island thought he could hide.

It's the smart chip.

See, after I resigned, from Doctor Island's team

at the Pavlov, I--

- He fired you.

- You say potato, I say po-tah-to.

- You say tomato, I say to-mah-to.

- Potato. - Po-tah-to.

- Tomato! - To-mah-to!

- Shut up!

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

See I thought, if humans can get dogs to do what they

want them to do, then, surely, I can get humans to do

what I want them to do.

It's a simple matter of technology.

I run a very large corporation, as you can see.

I need very loyal employees.

I found if I insert the chip that Island's invented,

with a little twist from me,

then when those stupid kids grow up to be stupid adults,

they have but one goal in mind:

to work for me.

In the end, I'll have enough manpower to rule the world!

Sorry.

- You'll never get away with this.

- Little girl.

My loneliness is killing me.

Hmm, what an article.

- And I must confess, I still believe.

I mean, with a nutcase villain like this one

- Still believe--

I'm gonna be collecting royalties from the movie.

- And I think giving a free concert is a very good way

to start getting away with it.

Let the stamping begin!

What?

- We have it, Doctor Wagner.

We've scanned the dog and we have the formula.

We'll have the stamper ready right away.

- Excellent.

Well?

I guess I'll see you all in 10 years, as my employees.

Okay, stamp the kids, get rid of the cop.

No, I tell you what, stamp the cop

and get rid of the kids.

No, no, I'll tell you what.

Stamp that kid, get rid of that kid,

and let the cop go.

Or, stamp that kid, get rid of the cop

and let the other kid go.

You know what?

Get rid of them all, including the dog.

Hello, Panky.

- Go ahead, Panky, they're all yours.

I'll go take care of the dog.

No!

- Hello, Leonard.

I bet you wish you were a cat, don't you?

Because then I'd have to get rid of you eight more times.

Crash laser, fire.

Ooh!

I'm comin', guys!

- No!

This is for the neutering!

Alright, Lenny!

Rope laser, fire!

Holy sababa!

We have to get to the Angie concert.

- Future, future, future.

World, world, world.

Education.

Boys and girls, put your hands together

for Doctor Richard Wagner!

- It's on the low.

Low.

Ooh yeah!

That's what I'm talkin' about.

What are you talkin' about, Willis.

Ooh yeah!

- Kids, don't forget to get your free colored

Doctor Wagner stamp.

It'll get you two free sessions at the Newyville Cartoon

Habit Rehabilitation Center.

And now, are you ready?

Let's hear it for Angie!

- Oh my God.

Look at all the kids.

- I'm gonna get us some help, okay?

Stay here, and that means stay here.

Got that?

A'ight, I'll be back.

- I'm not staying here.

I'm gonna go get Wagner.

- Let's go.

- No, Becky, you wait here with Lenny.

- No way, Zach.

- Listen, Becky, I don't want to lose you again.

- Are you sure you're gonna be okay?

- I'll survive, I think.

- John?

What are you doing here?

- This concert is a set-up.

- Why can't I get these two morons to do anything right?

- A lot of bad people get away with a lot of bad things

in the world.

I'll never let you get away with this.

- Little boy,

this world is ruled by the people who know how

to get away with doing the bad things.

That's just how things are.

If you're going to be happy, you're going to have

to learn to let go.

Go with the flow a little, accept it, sheesh.

- John, Doctor Wagner is a great man.

He has done so much good for this city.

- Chief, I'm afraid you're gonna have to believe me

on this one.

- John, John.

You know, your father saved my life once,

and your mother--

- Chief!

- I'm turning you in.

- No one's going to believe you.

You're just a little kid, and I'm Doctor Wagner.

How about we pull the plug on Wagner's show?

This should do it.

- My plan will work, little boy.

Because no one believes in children anymore.

All their parents give them is eight hours

a day of television.

Today, television is like a child's surrogate mother.

I'm only giving them what the parents can't give them.

When each one of those kids is stamped with my chip,

they'll be getting a future.

My plan will work, because no one believes in you anymore.

But I still believe.

Yes.

I,

I believe.

- You know what, Doctor Wagner?

Maybe you're right.

Maybe people have given up on children.

Maybe we kids don't really have anyone to care

for our future.

But listen to this, Doctor Wagner.

That does not mean we can't care for ourselves.

We are a lot tougher than you think.

Us kids, we'll make our own future if we have to.

- Way to go, Zach.

- Man.

John.

- Sir?

Yes, sir.

- Why can't they do something more interesting?

Go on, go out, go to nightclubs.

Look at you, what does that T-shirt mean?

Oh, it's a question mark, is that why?

So people will say, what does the T-shirt mean?

And you go, oh, it's a question mark.

Oh, very funny.

Cuff him.

Yes, sir, my pleasure.

- Wait a second, you can't do this to me.

I'm Doctor Wagner, I own this town!

No, please, wait!

No, I'm sorry, Mommy!

I know you wanted a girl.

Becky, we did it, we actually did it.

- This is your fault.

- Whoa.

Cheers.

- That's not funny.

- You clown. - Idiot.

- High five.

- You're a moron.

- Oh!

Oh, sweet God, it burns.

- Yeah.

We live...

- So what's the score now?

In the best town in the world.

- 50 to me, 49 to you.

- Okay.

- We have the best people in the world.

- 50 to 50.

We are the world.

- Nice one.

- Sababa.

- Our children are the future of our world.

Future.

Future.

Future.

World.

World.

World.

Education.

- Bye John. - Hero of the hour.

- Congratulations.

- Yeah, thank you, thank you.

Uh...

pretty good article.

- Yeah, she's a great writer.

- They did take out the chip, right?

- No more talkin' Lenny.

- That's probably best.

- I know.

- So uh, what you gonna do now?

- Gonna see Becky.

We're gonna watch the Learning Channel.

- Learning Channel?

- Yeah, way too many cartoons in this movie.

- Yeah, I know.

Well I got to go back to the station.

- A new case?

- Every day.

- Hey, why don't you teach me some karate moves?

- Kid, I told ya, I don't do Kung Fu.

- So humble.

- You gonna be all right?

- I'll survive.

- You I ain't worried about.

Take care of yourself, you hear me?

Alright, I'll smell ya later.

- Bye John.

The town of Newyville

will never be the same again.

Actually after that adventure, none of us will.

Let me give you the low down.

Doctor Island is working on a whole new invention

with his friend, Razal.

Hank and Panky are back delivering the mail,

Becky's article was a huge success,

and as for Zach, well, you'll see.

You go, Zach!

Way to go, Zach!

As corny as it sounds, kids are the future.

And I'll tell ya the truth,

I think we need more kids with question marks

on their shirts.

A kid who has enough courage to confront his own fears

against all odds, that's not just different,

that's special.

Let's see.

Lenny Dylan, that's a good name.

I don't think dogs have last names.

So, you could be the first.

Did you just talk? - Sure did!

Holy sababa, Lenny, you can talk?

Let's just keep it our own little secret.

Hey, would ya look at that tail?

Lenny, behave.

Jeez, behave, he tells me.

You know, in dog years I'm about nine years

older than you are, kid.

Hey Zach? - Yeah?

Now that, you know, nobody's around,

can we lose the leash?

Oh yeah, sorry.

It's okay.

Take three.

Set 'em. - Stay.

- Razal sent us.

The dog ran away.

- The other word.

- Dog, or should I say my dog,

has a chip in him.

- I run a very large corporation, as you can see,

and I need some very loyal employees.

With a little twist from me.

The chip Island invented, with a little twist from me,

and you get sort of, ah.

- I did it good that time!

- I know you did it good, shut up.

We'd insert the chip that Island invented,

with a little twist of me.

That wasn't right.

- That was sad, that was sad.

I knew it wasn't right so I stopped.

No!

Lay down, down.

Down.

Lay down, down.

Lay down, down, down.

Lay down.

Action.

Ahh, how could I take these people,

Ahh, how could I take these people.

- Yes, there is such a thing as a dog company.

- No there isn't. - Yes there is.

He made me laugh!

- No he did, he did it.

You started.

- He made me laugh!

Cut!