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1
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:06,298
So, if you don't wanna be
a noob, Call of War 18.
2
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,519
- Uh...
hardly working?
- I have cramps. Leave me alone.
3
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:23,982
- Do you need to go home?
- I need you to leave me alone.
4
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,985
Okay! Jeez.
5
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:27,986
This isn't for me.
6
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:28,987
I only play games on my phone.
7
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:29,905
Oh.
8
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,658
- What are you doing?
- I'm banning you!
9
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,201
We don't serve
mobile clowns here.
10
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,452
- Okay, then give me
my money back.
- No way!
11
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,120
I secured the package.
12
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,081
- You're the noob who lost it.
- I wanna see your manager.
13
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,708
Oh, you wanna see my manager,
Karen? She's right here.
14
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,585
Aaron!
15
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,212
What is happening, man?
16
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:49,091
Thank you for shopping
at Game Bros. Please come back.
17
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,467
Yeah, right.
18
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:52,970
Psychos.
19
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:58,433
Uh, my friend ID number
is 6-5-2-7-8-1-3-4.
20
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,646
- You are not writing that down.
- I have to g-- uh,
21
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,314
go do literally anything else.
22
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,776
- Oh!
- You're so close.
23
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,362
- Oh, you think
she's gonna hit me up?
- No.
24
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,824
I can't wait to strangle
some hookers and run over cops,
so just ring me up.
25
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,243
Wow, that's rude and intense
26
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,453
- for a young kid.
- Who are you, my fucking mommy?
27
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,581
Now, just take money
and give me game!
28
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,749
No, I-- I won't give it to you.
29
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,210
"Take money,
give me game." Goodbye!
30
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,714
All right, listen up everyone.
31
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:32,050
You guys work
in customer service,
32
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:35,137
and yet, you have systematically
scared off every person
33
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,389
who's actually decided
to walk in here.
34
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,892
- Do you see
why that's a problem?
- Oh, when did you start
35
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,644
caring if we win?
You've been team-killing Jake
36
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,104
- since the game started.
- No, I haven't.
37
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,522
You literally tried
to burn the store down.
38
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,107
That was a joke, okay?
39
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,650
And even if I had,
at least I was trying to make
40
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,068
some money for this place!
41
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,196
You guys are the cure
for profit.
42
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,990
I need to figure out something
you gaggle of jerks
can't fuck up.
43
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,075
Nerd!
44
00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,953
Could use the word gaggle
though.
45
00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:36,406
Lacy, I see you still
don't ever work
at your actual job.
46
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:40,244
I see you're still pretending
not to be a backstabbing
little prick.
47
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,912
I really did
change my mind, okay?
48
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,539
I actually have a plan to help.
49
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,749
So I'm not gonna sell
to Bruno or anyone,
50
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,669
so just don't
fucking tell anybody about
our little secret, okay?
51
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,213
Okay.
52
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:55,175
I think I like
this caring boss vibe.
53
00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:02,724
What say you and I
go into the alley
and make our own secrets?
54
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,144
You hesitated, I'm over it.
55
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:08,939
Ugh.
56
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,527
Oh, shit!
57
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,781
We selling cards now? What,
we have a nursing home
stopping by later
58
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:21,201
for a solitaire tournament?
What's next? Fucking Bingo?
59
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,996
These aren't just cards,
Aaron. These are
very rare collectibles,
60
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,456
and, you know, these are
my personal collection,
so don't--
61
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,293
- How much is this worth?
- Less now that you're
touching it!
62
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,879
You know what? I took a shit
and I didn't wash my hands.
63
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,964
- Is it worth even less now?
- Worth even less
64
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,509
now that you put
your shit germs on it?
Dude, yes, it was 50 bucks!
65
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:41,680
$50 for this?
That's the cost of a steak.
66
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,349
- Hmm, I wonder if it tastes
like a steak.
- You asshole!
67
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,143
Wait, didn't you have shit
on your hand
68
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,103
and then you put it
in your little shit mouth?
69
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,563
You shit all over your mouth.
70
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,232
Hey, since you guys
aren't busy...
71
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:54,818
...come with me.
72
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,458
Oh, God.
73
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,257
- Loser.
- Oh, my God!
74
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,675
Where did you come from?
75
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,635
The shadows.
76
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:25,724
Hey... [sighs] I think I know
why the store's been so slow.
77
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,227
Check it out,
Crime City Seven,
78
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,230
- a whole month early.
- Uh, they always do that.
79
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:35,150
What? Stores just get
these things weeks
in advance and sit on them?
80
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:37,444
- Yeah.
- Well, yeah. It wouldn't
be legal to sell them.
81
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,279
Well, that's exactly
what we are gonna do.
82
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,741
Fuck, yes! I'd always try
to get Wallace to do this.
83
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,993
I got customers lined up
and then he would puss out
84
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,579
and be like, "But, Aaron,
what about the FBI?"
85
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:50,332
The FBI doesn't care
about stupid little game stores.
86
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,001
I can't go to prison!
Who's gonna tuck me in at night?
87
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,753
Probably a dude named Spider.
88
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,839
This Facebook group,
it's for all
89
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,382
the local gamers in the area.
90
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,758
Ew, why are you on Facebook?
91
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,053
Girl, you know
how many free couches
I've gotten off there?
92
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,849
- From Marketplace?
- No, from the dudes
93
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:09,059
looking to cheat on their wives,
I make them buy me couches.
94
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,727
No one's gonna get caught, okay?
95
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,522
Aaron, can you line up
some of those buyers
you had before?
96
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,983
We can charge double.
Start making some money
around here.
97
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:19,736
Dropping into the DMZ.
Let's loot this place
and get out alive.
98
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,905
One of your signature quips.
I love it.
99
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:26,159
- Now look at this.
- The Captain says,
"Avoid Game Bros at all costs.
100
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:29,371
I'd rather have my dick run
through a pencil sharpener
than shop there.
101
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,874
Seriously, everyone there is
a poster child for pro-abortion
102
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,877
except for that one guy, Aaron,
he's actually pretty cool."
103
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,336
- Aaron!
- What an idiot.
104
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,547
Just-- nobody tell Jake, okay?
105
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,632
He doesn't need to know.
He'll just be happy
106
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,259
when we finally start
making some money.
107
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,261
- Ghost perk activated.
- No, no, no, no, no.
108
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,305
I suck at keeping secrets!
In high school,
109
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,849
my nickname was
"Stupid fucking narc ass bitch."
110
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,392
Oh, my God,
what is wrong with you?
111
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,936
The doctors don't know.
112
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:56,231
Well, unless you want a mouthful
of Spider, I suggest you man up
113
00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,775
and stop being a stupid
fucking narc ass bitch!
114
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,711
Yo, this is Chris.
115
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,380
He is very excited
for the new Crime City.
116
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:23,509
Zack.
117
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:25,677
Hook him up.
118
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:33,352
Go.
119
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,697
You're not a cop, are you?
You literally have to tell me
if you're a cop.
120
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:49,117
Look, man, I'm not a cop.
All right, look,
can I just get the game?
121
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:51,370
All right,
this is my first time,
I'm a little nervous.
122
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,330
Fine.
Let's just get this over with.
123
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,291
Okay. This will be
our little secret.
124
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,922
Gimme the damn game, man!
125
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,634
What the fuck is wrong with you?
126
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:11,890
Yo!
127
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,518
Hey, that dude right there?
128
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,144
That's your best employee
by far.
129
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:18,939
You hear that? Headshot!
130
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,483
Good shit.
131
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,032
- That was weird. No!
- Let's go ask what's going on.
132
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,451
Aaron is a gamer.
133
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:33,912
He likes to play.
134
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,540
The only way to beat him...
135
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:38,584
...is to play the game too.
136
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,060
Hey, Aaron.
137
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:00,772
It's been a while.
138
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,818
You wanna know
what I miss the most about us?
139
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,365
- The bud stuff?
- No!
140
00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,868
Well, kinda.
141
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,287
I miss getting
into shady schemes together.
142
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:19,708
Like, do you remember
when you convinced my uncle
that you kidnapped me?
143
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,543
And we got, like,
600 bucks out of him.
144
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,253
Yeah. Yeah.
145
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,299
That was so hot.
146
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:34,181
Are you into...
any shady schemes right now?
147
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:36,600
What do you know?
148
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,603
- Just that you're The Captain.
- What?
149
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,731
I'm not the HVT,
Elliot is the squad leader.
150
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,942
We're ranking up the store
with the Bankroll perk.
151
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,320
- Don't try and spawn camp me.
- Can you just...
152
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,988
...tell me what
any of that shit means
without using words
153
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,198
from a fucking video game?
154
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:52,908
No.
155
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:02,876
Wh-- [stutters] what did he say?
156
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,922
Am I broken?
157
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,217
No, pull yourself together!
158
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,344
You're a gorgeous angel.
159
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,597
Something else is going on.
160
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,642
Just say a word
and I'll fucking end you, nerd.
161
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,921
Oh, look at that! I gotta go!
162
00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:51,300
It's the time-- it's
the time I gotta go at, so--
163
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:09,067
- You guys done yet?
- We haven't even started yet,
you nerd fuck.
164
00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:11,236
People are gonna be coming
by all morning.
165
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,655
Now, get in there
and watch out for Jake.
166
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,115
You're the worst recon ever.
167
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,867
Elliot, am I
the worst recon ever?
168
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:17,951
No.
169
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,829
But you do need to get
in there and look out.
170
00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:22,247
And don't talk to anyone.
171
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,166
The squad is counting on you.
172
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,626
We're a squad?
173
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,543
Yes!
174
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,379
Fuck off!
175
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:30,881
Yes, sir.
176
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,475
- Hey, Zack.
- Jake!
177
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,643
- Jesus.
- What's up?
178
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,312
What are you doing here
so early? Are you okay?
179
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,774
I'm working
on my Magic tabletop.
180
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,609
- It's games.
- Okay.
181
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,070
Have you seen
my card collection?
182
00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:56,406
- Maybe later.
- No, Jake,
if you look at it right now,
183
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,033
I'll give it all
to the store right now.
184
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,536
There he is!
Come here, Pig King,
185
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:02,162
we're gonna make you squeal!
186
00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:04,414
No!
187
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,670
You ready to get hog-tied,
you little bitch?
188
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,756
- What is going on?
- Aaron is up to something
and Zack knows what it is.
189
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,801
Okay, I'll never
betray the squad.
Just don't go in the back alley.
190
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,928
Now I have to go look
in the back alley.
What are you talking about?
191
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,972
No, you can't because,
192
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:23,642
- because there's-- someone
masturbated all over it.
- Hey, Jake.
193
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,311
- Aaron is cleaning up
all the semen.
- What the fuck?
194
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,273
Aaron, why are you talking shit
about the store on Facebook?
195
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,359
Do I look like a fat grandma?
I don't fucking Facebook.
196
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,237
Oh, shit!
Then he's not The Captain!
197
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,948
I can't take it anymore!
Elliot is selling
198
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,826
Crime City Seven
in the back alley!
We're all going to prison!
199
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,495
You stupid fucking
narc ass bitch!
200
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,124
You are out
of the fucking squad!
201
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,377
Elliot.
202
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:53,463
Why didn't you tell me
we've the new Crime City
three weeks early.
203
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:56,717
Okay, before you lecture me,
dude, we're gonna make
so much cash.
204
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,719
And to be honest,
none of your ideas worked.
205
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:03,348
I know. Okay? Look,
I'm not lame. Look, I'm not--
206
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,475
- I'm not Zurg the Turd anymore.
- Oh, shit!
207
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,897
You remember that? Dude,
Zurg the Turd! You got memed!
208
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:13,567
Because your friend recorded you
reporting your own teammate.
209
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,987
Okay, in my defense, those guys
were all severely racist.
210
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,573
- Mm.
- Okay, I know!
It was lame. Whatever.
211
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,201
I'm not that guy anymore.
I'm cool now.
212
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:24,703
So I say let's do this.
213
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:27,998
- I'm gonna let the girls know.
- No--
214
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,249
Yeah!
215
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,794
Bold move.
216
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:35,005
- Risky, but bold.
- Yeah.
217
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,674
Gamers are gonna think
it's cool.
I think it's very cool.
218
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,385
Well, Jake is obviously doing it
because he thinks it's cool.
219
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:42,346
I'm doing it
because we can charge more
220
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,014
and actually make
some profit for this place.
221
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,933
Well, just be careful, okay?
I don't think you guys know
222
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,059
what you're getting
yourselves into.
223
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,310
Oh, don't worry
about us. I mean,
224
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,270
this isn't my first run
with the Five-O.
225
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:53,357
- What?
- This is absolutely
his first time
226
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,735
- doing something like this.
- Okay. Well, Lacy and I
are very close
227
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,404
to catching the Facebook Captain
who's been trashing
on the store.
228
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:03,700
So, we will let you get back
to your cool new business plan.
229
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:06,411
But first, we do need
to discuss my payment.
230
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:08,914
Thank you.
231
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:12,000
She's gonna pay
for that, right?
232
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,586
I don't think so.
233
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,719
♪ Hey
it's the Crime City Seven ♪
234
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:25,180
♪ Hit you with a sniper rifle
and teleport you to heaven ♪
235
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:27,808
- ♪ Hey, hey... ♪
- Yes, bitch, yes!
236
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:30,269
♪ ...I'm just waiting on you
to put the keys
in the ignition ♪
237
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:32,855
♪ Nay, hey
it's the Crime City Seven ♪
238
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:35,440
♪ Hit you with a sniper rifle
and teleport you to heaven ♪
239
00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:37,943
♪ Hey, hey, I've been itching
for a mission ♪
240
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,862
♪ Now I'm just waiting on you
to put the keys ♪
241
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,405
- ♪ In the ignition ♪
- ♪ Yo, I'm still online ♪
242
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,407
♪ Gaming rocket
launcher flaming ♪
243
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,868
♪ Ain't worry about the cops
'cause I'm good like Megan ♪
244
00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:49,621
- ♪ Psycho like Michael... ♪
- Oh! Oh, fuck! Shit!
245
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:52,249
♪ ...I'm all about the action
from penthouse suites ♪
246
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,918
♪ To knocking out your teeth
and girls like Arby's ♪
247
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,045
♪ They just want the meat
talk ain't cheap ♪
248
00:13:57,129 --> 00:13:58,797
- ♪ 'Cause I paid
a pretty penny ♪
- ♪ We win ♪
249
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,216
♪ South Park style
you get killed like Kenny ♪
250
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,510
♪ And you got a Hemi
and my car got a passenger ♪
251
00:14:03,594 --> 00:14:05,429
♪ You won't like taking shots
and we'll send 'em ♪
252
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,055
♪ Right back to ya, headshot ♪
253
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:08,891
♪ Made him leave Earth
like Caprica ♪
254
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:10,184
♪ Chest shot got him... ♪
255
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:11,310
Oh, my God, he's typing.
256
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,061
"Sup."
257
00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:14,271
"Sup."
258
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,857
- We got--
- What's up? What's up?
259
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,568
♪ I got content for the nonsense
you underarmed like armpits ♪
260
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,987
♪ So I just bought a new gun
I nicknamed it all-- ♪
261
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,989
♪ Hey
it's the Crime City Seven ♪
262
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,491
♪ Hit you with a sniper rifle
and teleport you to heaven ♪
263
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:29,036
♪ Hey, hey, I've been itching
for a mission ♪
264
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:31,580
♪ I'm just waiting on you
to put the keys
in the ignition ♪
265
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,124
♪ Nay, hey
it's the Crime City Seven ♪
266
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:36,710
♪ Hit you with a sniper rifle
and teleport you to heaven ♪
267
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,254
♪ Hey, hey, I've been itching
for a mission ♪
268
00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:41,590
♪ I'm just waiting on you
to put the keys in the-- ♪
269
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:45,427
Lacy.
270
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,387
Lacy!
271
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,140
What are you doing here?
272
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:52,726
Just-- Wha--
273
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:56,021
You guys were dancing,
so I just... thought--
274
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:09,034
Are you sure selling
this game early is a good idea?
275
00:15:09,535 --> 00:15:11,537
None of this
is really your style.
276
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:12,913
Maybe I'm sick of my style.
277
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,542
Maybe Zurg the Turd was wrong.
278
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,877
Wait, are you Zurg the Turd?
279
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,255
I potentially could've been
that guy from the meme.
280
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,549
Yes, but not anymore.
It's a new me.
281
00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:26,051
Okay, well, just so you know,
I was on Zurg's side
in that video.
282
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:29,471
Okay, thank you. Right?
283
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:31,473
You know, you built something
kinda cool here.
284
00:15:31,557 --> 00:15:33,225
I really don't wanna see you
mess it up.
285
00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:36,186
- It's gonna be fine.
- Good to hear.
286
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,896
'Cause there's a cop
right over there
talking to Zack.
287
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:42,192
I just have
a few questions for you.
288
00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:50,576
- Do we have a problem?
- I think I just pooped my pants.
289
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:54,454
Hi! Um, ca-- can we help you?
290
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,502
I love the cosplay.
291
00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:02,171
Excited about the game.
292
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:06,425
- Oh, yeah, the game!
Yeah! Great, great. Um...
- Oh.
293
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,135
...I'm sorry
about our crazy employee.
294
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,179
- He's a little unwell, that one.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
295
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,763
He was holed up
with a bunch of squatters
296
00:16:11,847 --> 00:16:12,890
letting old ladies lick jelly
297
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,600
off of his feet
for money. Freak.
298
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,853
Uh, I don't think
that's even a thing.
299
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:21,940
Oh, that's a thing.
We just shut down a jelly house
down the street last week.
300
00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:24,026
Oh.
301
00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:25,694
Look, I'm just here to get
302
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,237
a replacement controller
for my kid.
303
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:30,407
Breaks one like every other day.
Rage issues.
304
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,868
I mean,
that's not his fault, man.
It's fucking hackers online.
305
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,037
You ever played with them?
How you're not supposed
to throw your controller?
306
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,706
Okay! Uh, great, Aaron.
Uh, here we go.
307
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:41,001
- That one's on the house.
- Really?
308
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,545
Yeah! I mean, you just took down
a jelly house, man...
309
00:16:43,629 --> 00:16:47,049
and thank you
so much for your service.
310
00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:48,467
- Thank you!
- Yeah.
311
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:49,635
That is not a bribe!
312
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,765
- We did it.
- Holy shit.
313
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,517
Oh! He wants
to know more about you.
314
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,519
Okay. So we have some ways
we can play this.
315
00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:01,980
- Okay.
- Do we wanna go hardcore gamer,
316
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,941
borderline satanic Lacy...
317
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:08,153
or Uwu Girl dum-dum
318
00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:10,822
who streams Pokémon
in low cut shirts?
319
00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:13,283
Mm, I think we go hardcore.
320
00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:14,326
You're so right.
321
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,370
- Perfect.
- Uh--
322
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,830
- He sent a picture.
- Oh! All right!
323
00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:21,542
Let's see what this basement
dwelling troll looks like.
324
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,460
- Ugh, ew, I can't wait.
- Oh.
325
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,421
Hello, Captain.
326
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:28,632
Oh...
327
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,927
Yo! Got your little e-blast!
328
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,264
You announced to everyone that
we're selling unreleased games?
329
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:38,016
No. Aaron used a code.
It was super subtle.
330
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:42,604
"Can't wait to play
Crime City Seven?
Game Bros has got you.
331
00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:44,523
Come buy it early!"
332
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,608
All caps, exclamation point,
333
00:17:46,692 --> 00:17:49,069
exclamation point,
exclamation point.
334
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,154
- That's not code!
- Okay. U--
335
00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:52,865
We can't do anything
about it now.
336
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,701
We already launched
Operation World Wide Web.
337
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,661
What is Operation
World Wide Web?
338
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:01,915
I'm sorry, but is The Captain
a low-key fucking catch?
339
00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:05,460
He's a gamer, he's hot AF,
and he's got a heart of gold--
340
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:08,672
- Dibs!
- Dibs! No, you have a boyfriend.
341
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:12,759
Oh.
"I need to see you tonight.
342
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:14,511
Meet at Game Bros at 8:00"!
343
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:16,889
- He's in!
- Oh, my God. I did it!
344
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:20,642
Wait, hold on. "Game Bros
going live in 60 seconds.
345
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:23,437
Unreleased Crime City Seven
playthrough"?
346
00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:27,691
- I can't let you do this.
- This is bad!
347
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,359
- I'm in the lobby!
- No, y--
348
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:30,527
Thousands of people in there.
349
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:31,445
No, there's--
350
00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:36,825
Jake! What have you done?
351
00:18:36,909 --> 00:18:39,661
We're live, baby!
352
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:41,914
- What're you doing?
- I hope it's not too late!
353
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:44,625
- I hope Spider
is are gentle lover.
- Calm down!
354
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:47,586
I've been in a way shittier shit
than this and nothing
ever happened.
355
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:50,631
We're gonna be fin--
Oh, shit, the cops!
We're fucked!
356
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:54,301
Oh--
uh, hello, officer.
357
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,720
That controller
not work out for your son?
358
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,180
Oh-- oh, here, take this one.
359
00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,765
This one too,
you can have all of them.
360
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,477
- Nah, I'm here
about something else.
- Well,
361
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,437
cool, cool, cool.
These two are the owners,
362
00:19:05,521 --> 00:19:07,439
I'm sure whatever problem
you have, they can--
363
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:13,737
Uh, so, like, uh, what's up?
364
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,614
I'm here to find her.
365
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,328
- Me?
- Oh, my God.
366
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:24,581
That's... The Captain?
367
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:27,334
He's a cop?
368
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,753
This just keeps getting hotter.
369
00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:33,757
Sugar bear.
370
00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:37,678
You did not have to hide
the uniform from me,
371
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:41,390
I am into it.
372
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:44,351
I'm not The Captain,
but I know him very well.
373
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,353
Thomas, get in here!
374
00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:53,610
Tell her... now.
375
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,114
Sorry I catfished you.
376
00:19:57,656 --> 00:19:59,616
And I'm sorry
I review bombed your store.
377
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,286
You were being a dick
when I was trying to buy
that video game,
378
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,413
and all my friends
will be playing CC Seven
379
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,456
and I'm sitting around
with my thumbs up my ass.
380
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,875
- Thomas!
- Sorry.
381
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:09,001
Thumbs up my butt.
382
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:14,590
Well... there will be
no more trouble from The Captain
383
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:16,091
because he's grounded forever.
384
00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:18,927
Let's go.
385
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,059
Y'all got copies of CC Seven?
386
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:28,896
Can I get one?
387
00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:34,359
Have a great night.
388
00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:38,739
Did anybody get
his badge number?
389
00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:41,283
We are invincible!
390
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:42,910
And they say crime doesn't pay.
391
00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:44,494
Oh, it pays!
392
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:46,705
- And the cops
don't even care.
- Mm.
393
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,374
Hold up, Scarface.
We just got an email.
394
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:52,044
"Game Bros was found violating
the game's release date
395
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:57,007
and is hereby unauthorized
to sell any and all properties
made by Megastar Games"?
396
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,927
Oh, then a lot of very
interesting legal jargon.
397
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:02,304
No, th-- do we get blacklisted?
398
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,555
This is what I was saying.
399
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:07,935
So what? Fuck Megastar.
400
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,312
No schemes, no lawbreaking.
401
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,980
We do this legit, okay?
402
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:16,568
I am Zurg the Turd
and I'm proud to be.
403
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:19,863
I always like that guy.
404
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:21,865
Ugh!
405
00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:24,368
Put your boners away.
406
00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:29,581
- Thank God this day's over.
- Close calls like that
can be a good thing.
407
00:21:29,665 --> 00:21:32,209
Really wakes people up.
I'm sure the boys
learned their lesson.
408
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,254
I want you to sell
the remaining inventory
wherever you can.
409
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,714
Schools, playgrounds,
you know, places like that.
32124
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