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1
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:11,453
The first rule of quantum leaping
is to find out who I am.
2
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:16,333
Then, who I'm here to help.
3
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,544
Charlie-san!
4
00:00:20,337 --> 00:00:24,091
Third, if I've made a mistake,
know how to make up for it.
5
00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:28,387
- And always, always know when to leave.
- Sayonara, Sam.
6
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:40,399
Which brings me back to
the first rule of quantum leaping
7
00:00:40,524 --> 00:00:42,818
finding out who I am.
8
00:00:45,737 --> 00:00:47,156
Sam?
9
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,533
My name!
10
00:00:50,742 --> 00:00:55,038
I'm gonna be called by my own name.
Who is it?
11
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:58,000
It's Gloria, you yo-yo,
who else would it be?
12
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,627
I have to run to the store.
I ran my last pair of stockings.
13
00:01:00,711 --> 00:01:04,756
- You need anything?
- Uh, no, no. I'm fine.
14
00:01:05,048 --> 00:01:06,800
Will you zip me up?
15
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,095
You'd better hurry up.
You'll be late for your new job.
16
00:01:11,763 --> 00:01:15,684
Uh, yeah, right.
My new... My new job.
17
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,270
Like it's no big deal.
An executive position like this...
18
00:01:18,353 --> 00:01:21,982
opens up once every five years
and never to someone our age,
19
00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:25,903
Miss Youngest Executive
Secretary at the company.
20
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,155
Miss?
21
00:01:45,297 --> 00:01:47,007
Wow!
22
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:53,222
Oh, my God.
23
00:01:53,972 --> 00:01:55,807
It's true!
24
00:01:58,602 --> 00:02:01,063
No, you...
You could lower that.
25
00:02:01,146 --> 00:02:04,107
- I'm a woman!
- And I'm in love.
26
00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:08,487
If it was anybody else, Sam,
I'd be all over you like a cheap suit.
27
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,781
- Stop it.
- What?
28
00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:14,284
I'm just...
I'm enjoying the view.
29
00:02:14,785 --> 00:02:17,704
Let's face it.
You're a knockout.
30
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:23,877
You mean...
you see me a-as her?
31
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:27,513
Course I see you as her. And back in
the waiting room, I see her as you.
32
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,784
That's the way it
works, don't you remember?
33
00:02:30,008 --> 00:02:31,718
No, not really.
34
00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:35,222
Al, this-this...
This feels really weird.
35
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:39,893
Think about how Samantha feels. She's
so confused, we're using Verbena Beeks.
36
00:02:40,018 --> 00:02:44,398
- Anti-depressants?
- Dr. Verbena Beeks.
37
00:02:44,523 --> 00:02:48,819
She's the project shrink.
I used to think she was cute.
38
00:02:48,986 --> 00:02:52,072
Would you stop looking at me like that!
Sam, you better get used to it.
39
00:02:52,113 --> 00:02:54,238
You're gonna have to convince
everybody you're a woman.
40
00:02:54,283 --> 00:02:57,744
- No!
- Yes! Yes, that's the rule, Sam.
41
00:02:58,203 --> 00:03:01,415
Everybody has to believe
you are Samantha...
42
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:04,293
so that whatever's
wrong here can be made right.
43
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,712
- Well, just what is that, please?
- I don't know.
44
00:03:06,878 --> 00:03:10,632
Gooshie and I haven't had time to
feed any programs through Ziggy.
45
00:03:10,799 --> 00:03:13,427
Well, would you do it,
please? Get on it.
46
00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:16,513
Whatever you say, beautiful.
47
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,349
Get out of here.
Just get out of my bathroom.
48
00:03:20,058 --> 00:03:22,519
You have a wonderful
sense of humor.
49
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,852
Detroit, Michigan, 1961.
50
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:49,064
Roger Maris is about to break
Babe Ruth's home run record.
51
00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:51,858
But am I wearing cleats,
sliding into second? No.
52
00:04:51,983 --> 00:04:55,612
I'm wearing three-inch high heels and
trying desperately not to fall on my...
53
00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:57,197
face.
54
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,866
I told you you should have
worn a girdle.
55
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,702
I'm not into bondage.
56
00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:05,414
Do you remember how Debbie Moore used
to say that before she had her baby?
57
00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:07,541
Now she wouldn't
be caught dead without one.
58
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,168
I still can't believe
she went back to work.
59
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,877
What's wrong with that?
60
00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:15,966
Excuse me, but aren't you
the same girl that said,
61
00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:19,010
"The day I get that gold band
is the day I quit work,
62
00:05:19,136 --> 00:05:21,430
start shopping
and eat anything chocolate."
63
00:05:21,596 --> 00:05:23,348
Great. I'm a gold digger.
64
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:26,059
I'd never say that
about my best friend.
65
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,854
Let's just say you're
mentally prepared...
66
00:05:28,979 --> 00:05:31,523
for a life different
than the one you're in.
67
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:34,943
That's our bus!
Hey, wait!
68
00:05:40,031 --> 00:05:41,491
Hold it.
69
00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:45,120
Ah, ooh, ah.
70
00:05:45,996 --> 00:05:49,750
No stockings?
You're such a bohemian.
71
00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:05,098
Two hours as Samantha,
and I knew that the lyrics...
72
00:06:05,223 --> 00:06:08,518
to "I Enjoy Being a Girl"
were not written by one.
73
00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:11,062
Whew!
I only hope my job...
74
00:06:11,188 --> 00:06:15,108
doesn't require anything more than
sharpening pencils or mailing a letter.
75
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,944
At least until Ziggy
figures out why I'm here.
76
00:06:24,826 --> 00:06:26,161
What's wrong?
77
00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:29,706
Buddy got his promotion.
78
00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:32,626
- Buddy?
- My fiancé...
79
00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:36,254
If you can call a guy
who's married your fiancé.
80
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,131
I don't think so.
81
00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:40,008
I can't believe he did this.
82
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,553
This is what we've been waiting
for, so he could leave Gail.
83
00:06:44,179 --> 00:06:47,557
He didn't even ask for me
to be his secretary.
84
00:06:48,225 --> 00:06:49,726
I'm sorry.
85
00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:51,561
You were right, Sam.
86
00:06:51,686 --> 00:06:55,273
Married men are just
a one-way ticket to Nowheresville.
87
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,734
I don't know why
I keep believing.
88
00:06:57,901 --> 00:07:00,570
Sometimes I think I should
just give it all up.
89
00:07:00,737 --> 00:07:02,364
Gloria.
90
00:07:04,199 --> 00:07:05,700
I'll be fine.
91
00:07:06,201 --> 00:07:08,161
I'm always fine.
92
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,399
From my heart.
93
00:07:39,276 --> 00:07:41,152
I hope everything's there.
94
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,989
Uh, yeah.
Well, I... I hope so too.
95
00:07:44,155 --> 00:07:47,826
If there is any problem,
I'm the man to talk to.
96
00:07:48,577 --> 00:07:52,163
I did the move myself,
beautiful.
97
00:07:53,582 --> 00:07:56,877
- Beautiful?
- Oh, okay. Miss Stormer.
98
00:07:57,043 --> 00:08:00,005
But, um, if you like,
99
00:08:00,171 --> 00:08:03,008
I could call you Samantha,
and, uh,
100
00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:05,677
you could call me Big John.
101
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:11,600
I'm gonna call you "dead" if
you don't get outta my face.
102
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:14,394
Aw. I was just trying
to be friendly.
103
00:08:14,519 --> 00:08:17,314
Be friendly on your
own time, Johnny,
104
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,482
or you'll be delivering
mail for Studebaker.
105
00:08:19,608 --> 00:08:22,819
- On the double, Mr. Wright.
- Miss Stormer, in my office.
106
00:08:22,983 --> 00:08:24,860
And bring a pad and pencil.
107
00:08:27,532 --> 00:08:29,367
Great guy.
108
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:06,196
I didn't realize until I watched
you walk through that door,
109
00:09:06,321 --> 00:09:10,325
how incredibly beautiful
you really are.
110
00:09:10,742 --> 00:09:12,911
Whatever I did, I'm sorry.
111
00:09:13,078 --> 00:09:17,582
I'm sorry, too, that...
I didn't become a vice president sooner.
112
00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:21,127
But we'll make up
for that... starting tonight?
113
00:09:22,045 --> 00:09:26,174
Drinks...
to celebrate our...
114
00:09:26,424 --> 00:09:27,634
Our new positions.
115
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,512
My natural instinct
was to punch him out.
116
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:34,265
But as Al said, I had
to play this as Samantha.
117
00:09:35,934 --> 00:09:39,187
I don't think so,
Mr. Wright.
118
00:09:39,354 --> 00:09:42,857
- Buddy. Buddy.
- Buddy.
119
00:09:43,024 --> 00:09:44,985
What do you mean
you don't think so?
120
00:09:45,694 --> 00:09:48,154
Well, you're ma-married.
121
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,031
So?
122
00:09:50,949 --> 00:09:53,535
So, I-I...
I don't date married men.
123
00:09:53,702 --> 00:09:56,579
I figured I was just the
fella to change all of that.
124
00:09:56,746 --> 00:09:59,666
- You figured wrong.
- Samantha, I understand...
125
00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:03,420
playing hard to get in the steno
pool, but you've got the job now.
126
00:10:03,545 --> 00:10:08,967
I overlooked some very
eligible gals to, uh,
127
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,177
give it to you.
128
00:10:11,386 --> 00:10:13,722
This is sexual harassment!
129
00:10:14,431 --> 00:10:16,850
I don't know what that is,
but I like the sound of it.
130
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,477
Why don't you just explain
that to me tonight over drinks?
131
00:10:19,644 --> 00:10:22,397
Why don't you let your
wife explain it to you?
132
00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:28,403
Samantha. Samantha.
133
00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:31,281
I would. Only my...
134
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:37,245
Well, my wife...
won't be sober enough...
135
00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:39,789
to even say hello
when I get home tonight.
136
00:10:44,419 --> 00:10:48,465
Get me Bixby's market research.
I need it for my 10:30.
137
00:10:48,757 --> 00:10:50,633
And put on some makeup.
138
00:10:51,176 --> 00:10:53,845
You're representing
Buddy Wright out there.
139
00:11:21,498 --> 00:11:24,501
How's the girl of my dreams?
140
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,922
You know, this is...
It's degrading.
141
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,342
I mean, first he...
He chases me around his office,
142
00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:36,262
a-and then... and then
he says I gotta wear lipstick!
143
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:40,934
It's a pity they didn't have
the wet look in '61...
144
00:11:41,976 --> 00:11:45,480
'cause you would look
fabulous with wet lips.
145
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,398
I'm so happy about that.
146
00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:49,839
- This is... This is hard on me, Sam.
- Oh?
147
00:11:49,894 --> 00:11:53,571
It's hard on me. I can't
stop thinking about you.
148
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:59,536
Time has packaged my best
friend inside a goddess of love.
149
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:05,166
It's got me worried, Sam.
I'm talking to Dr. Beeks.
150
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,960
Sam?
151
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,420
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
152
00:12:10,672 --> 00:12:13,091
Buddy called.
He explained everything.
153
00:12:13,194 --> 00:12:15,381
The reason why he didn't
tell me about the promotion
154
00:12:15,426 --> 00:12:17,744
was because he wanted
it to be a surprise.
155
00:12:17,846 --> 00:12:20,932
- He wants to marry me!
- He's already married.
156
00:12:21,057 --> 00:12:24,060
- This is why you're here, Sam.
- He's leaving Gail.
157
00:12:24,126 --> 00:12:25,853
He was waiting
for the promotion,
158
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,223
so he could afford to fight
for custody of the children.
159
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:30,942
- I'm getting married!
- No, she's not.
160
00:12:31,401 --> 00:12:34,696
Gloria, "I'm leaving my wife"...
161
00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:36,447
It's the oldest lie in the book.
162
00:12:36,573 --> 00:12:41,119
Don't spoil this for me. You're my best
friend. Just be happy for me, please.
163
00:12:41,411 --> 00:12:43,413
- Gloria...
- I gotta get back.
164
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,623
Culpepper'll be
screaming for me.
165
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:48,710
Oh, I'm so happy!
166
00:12:52,297 --> 00:12:55,013
- What happens?
- Well, when she finds out...
167
00:12:55,069 --> 00:12:57,530
Mr. Wrong won't marry her...
168
00:12:59,804 --> 00:13:02,140
She commits suicide.
169
00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:12,692
I have come to the conclusion
that women are part masochist.
170
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:17,030
It's like someone designed a
modern-day torture rack you can wear:
171
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,783
from the bra, to the
stockings, to the tight skirts,
172
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,661
and the shoes from hell.
173
00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:27,248
They get up everyday and perform
this weird binding ritual.
174
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:29,292
And for what?
175
00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:34,255
Wow!
You look terrific.
176
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,925
I'm supposed
to look conservative.
177
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,429
You couldn't look
conservative if you tried.
178
00:13:42,305 --> 00:13:45,141
- Thanks.
- Come here.
179
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,481
Eat your heart out, Marilyn.
180
00:13:51,648 --> 00:13:55,860
If anybody but my best friend were
working for Buddy, I'd be worried.
181
00:13:55,985 --> 00:13:58,571
Anyone else
and you'd have good reason.
182
00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:04,733
Please don't. I told you last night.
I love him and he loves me.
183
00:14:04,953 --> 00:14:06,913
That's all that matters.
184
00:14:07,121 --> 00:14:08,998
What about his wife and kids?
185
00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:11,793
She is a monster, Sam.
186
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,712
She drinks
and she fights with him.
187
00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:18,132
She doesn't care about
herself or the children...
188
00:14:18,299 --> 00:14:21,970
Not to mention the affair she's having
with the tennis pro at the club.
189
00:14:22,136 --> 00:14:26,641
Buddy is so unhappy.
He said I'm his only hope.
190
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,560
Do you know how special
that makes me feel?
191
00:14:29,686 --> 00:14:33,523
Gloria, you shouldn't need a man
to make you feel special.
192
00:14:33,731 --> 00:14:35,817
- But I do.
- Why?
193
00:14:35,984 --> 00:14:39,320
- You are beautiful...
- I'm not beautiful.
194
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:42,740
I'm cute, maybe,
but I'm not beautiful.
195
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:47,120
But you are.
And not just on the outside,
196
00:14:47,328 --> 00:14:50,832
but in here, where it counts.
197
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:54,210
Men don't want what's in here.
198
00:14:54,335 --> 00:14:56,754
They want what you've got.
199
00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:58,881
Except for Buddy.
200
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:01,926
He was the one in a million
that loved me for myself.
201
00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:04,429
I wish that were so,
Gloria, but...
202
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:07,307
having just spent
a day with him, I-I...
203
00:15:07,765 --> 00:15:09,225
It makes me doubt it.
204
00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,269
Why should I believe you?
205
00:15:11,394 --> 00:15:15,231
Have you ever had a man love you
for anything besides your body?
206
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,572
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
207
00:15:22,697 --> 00:15:24,490
No, that's...
It's okay.
208
00:15:24,615 --> 00:15:28,286
Oh, Sam, I love him,
and he loves me.
209
00:15:28,411 --> 00:15:32,165
Don't ask me to give up
my one chance at happiness.
210
00:15:35,752 --> 00:15:39,839
Iacocca's got Eisenhower hawking
for him at $ 1,000 a plate!
211
00:15:39,964 --> 00:15:42,300
Can you believe it?
The president of the United States!
212
00:15:42,415 --> 00:15:44,052
He's a hell of a showman.
213
00:15:44,927 --> 00:15:47,722
Of course, he's gotta be...
214
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:51,267
after that A-bomb
of an Edsel last year.
215
00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:55,188
I liked the Edsel.
It was a dog, Ted.
216
00:15:55,313 --> 00:15:57,815
Nobody wanted a car
with a zero for a grille.
217
00:15:58,238 --> 00:16:00,074
Maybe not.
But I'm not so sure...
218
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,320
the public wants what we've
got on the drawing boards.
219
00:16:02,487 --> 00:16:03,780
What are you talking about?
220
00:16:03,905 --> 00:16:07,116
I had before me
a firsthand definition of sleaze.
221
00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:11,579
Buddy had perfect hair, perfect
teeth, perfect eyes and perfect chin.
222
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,499
But they weren't the arrow that
made women like Gloria fall.
223
00:16:14,624 --> 00:16:19,003
It was the velvet tones all neatly
wrapped in wit and charm.
224
00:16:19,128 --> 00:16:20,713
We can't base our designs
on California, Ted.
225
00:16:20,838 --> 00:16:24,092
They're avocado growers
and movie stars...
226
00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:26,748
- with kinky tastes...
- He was a master of manipulation,
227
00:16:26,928 --> 00:16:28,805
- for foreign sports cars.
- And he knew it.
228
00:16:28,930 --> 00:16:32,058
Yes, but they spend more time on the
freeways than they do in their homes.
229
00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:33,935
We're gonna get 'em
with our '62s.
230
00:16:34,102 --> 00:16:39,065
I'm looking down the road five, ten years.
What's the public going to want then?
231
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:42,443
The same dream machines
that they want right now:
232
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:47,407
fins, chrome, flash
and horsepower.
233
00:16:47,532 --> 00:16:49,409
Lots of horsepower.
234
00:16:49,534 --> 00:16:51,160
The bigger, the better.
235
00:16:51,262 --> 00:16:55,164
And wait till we put
this baby on the market.
236
00:16:55,998 --> 00:17:00,086
Five-hundred cubic inches,
450 horsepower.
237
00:17:00,211 --> 00:17:02,880
Three inches wider and ten inches
longer than the biggest Caddy.
238
00:17:03,005 --> 00:17:05,174
What about fuel economy?
239
00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:09,720
Miss Stormer has a point.
What about it, Buddy?
240
00:17:09,846 --> 00:17:12,098
What does it get,
seven miles to the gallon?
241
00:17:12,223 --> 00:17:14,600
Maybe eight. But I
got that covered, Ted.
242
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:20,148
I reduced the trunk and I enlarged the
gas tank. This baby will hold 40 gallons.
243
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,150
My God, what'll it cost
to fill up?
244
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,319
At 30 cents a gallon, $12.
245
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:31,451
But we're not gonna try to market
this model to... secretaries.
246
00:17:33,077 --> 00:17:36,164
Could I have a cup of coffee,
please? Ted, coffee?
247
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,791
Yes, black.
248
00:17:41,419 --> 00:17:44,797
I like mine like my women,
249
00:17:45,339 --> 00:17:47,008
hot and sweet.
250
00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:08,571
Don't even start unless you want
to eat your teeth for lunch.
251
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,706
What are you doing?
252
00:18:20,291 --> 00:18:21,918
Hot and sweet.
253
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,836
What?
254
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:29,509
I want a beer.
A light beer.
255
00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:31,928
I wanna make
some microwave popcorn.
256
00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:34,555
I wanna sit down in front of the
TV, start the VCR.
257
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,266
Oh, that time of the month, huh?
258
00:18:39,894 --> 00:18:44,357
Uh, no. I-I don't...
I don't think so.
259
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:47,777
I just...
260
00:18:49,403 --> 00:18:50,863
I just wanna go home.
261
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:54,492
That's what I wanna talk to you about.
I have a huge favor to ask.
262
00:18:54,617 --> 00:18:57,912
If you do this, I promise I'll go on that
double date your mother set up tomorrow.
263
00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,126
Double date?
264
00:18:59,159 --> 00:19:00,480
Buddy wants to come by
the apartment tonight.
265
00:19:00,513 --> 00:19:03,960
- I thought you could go to a movie?
- No.
266
00:19:04,085 --> 00:19:07,213
Please, Sam, I need some time alone
with Buddy to plan our future.
267
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,383
If he's planning your future the way he's
planning this company's, you're in trouble.
268
00:19:10,508 --> 00:19:12,593
What is that supposed to mean?
269
00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:15,888
Nothing. Gloria,
270
00:19:16,013 --> 00:19:18,266
I-I-I just wish
you would open your eyes.
271
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,810
If Buddy wants to talk,
really talk about your future,
272
00:19:20,935 --> 00:19:23,229
why does it have to be
at the apartment?
273
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,440
I'm way over 21, Sam.
274
00:19:29,944 --> 00:19:31,988
I just don't want you hurt.
275
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,574
Does that mean "Yes"?
276
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:38,286
Maybe.
277
00:20:07,481 --> 00:20:09,233
Ahhh.
278
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:13,946
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, uh...
279
00:20:14,071 --> 00:20:19,243
I-I just came home to change clothes
and, uh, drop the iron maidens.
280
00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:22,079
You don't have time.
Buddy'll be here any minute.
281
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,415
Yeah, well, you know, um,
282
00:20:25,499 --> 00:20:28,878
maybe the three of us
should talk about your future.
283
00:20:29,003 --> 00:20:31,297
Sam, if you want me
to go on that double date...
284
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,424
with you tomorrow night,
you'll get out of here now!
285
00:20:33,549 --> 00:20:35,885
About that double date.
That's another thing...
286
00:20:44,935 --> 00:20:46,854
- Ha-ha!
- Oh.
287
00:20:52,610 --> 00:20:56,781
Oh, uh, I didn't know
that you two were roomies.
288
00:20:57,198 --> 00:21:00,034
If I were a different kind
of guy...
289
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,702
You wouldn't be here.
290
00:21:03,579 --> 00:21:06,999
Samantha was just going
to the movies.
291
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,877
In those?
292
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:14,173
Yeah, I thought I might just, you
know, go do a power walk in the park.
293
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:16,676
Get a little aerobics exercise,
get the old heart rate up.
294
00:21:16,801 --> 00:21:19,553
Since you're already going for a
walk, would you mind taking Bubbles?
295
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:25,601
Samantha! Do it for me, please.
296
00:21:29,730 --> 00:21:32,650
Thanks, doll.
See you in the morning.
297
00:21:33,484 --> 00:21:35,695
The name's Samantha.
298
00:21:55,798 --> 00:21:59,260
Personally, I prefer
leaving the lights on.
299
00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:03,139
You keep that up, tiny teeth,
and I'll feed ya to Ziggy.
300
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:08,436
- A little testy tonight, aren't we?
- You would be too, if...
301
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,147
- If what?
- Never mind.
302
00:22:11,272 --> 00:22:14,650
Just save Madam Butterfly up there
from cashing in her cookies...
303
00:22:14,817 --> 00:22:16,736
and get back to being a guy.
304
00:22:16,861 --> 00:22:20,030
How? Gloria is convinced
that Buddy's Mr. Wonderful,
305
00:22:20,156 --> 00:22:23,617
that... that he's got
a witch for a wi...
306
00:22:23,826 --> 00:22:26,579
A witch for a wife and that
she's his only salvation.
307
00:22:26,704 --> 00:22:29,290
Look, all women fall
for that one,
308
00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:31,959
especially single girls
Gloria's age.
309
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:33,919
What does age
have to do with it?
310
00:22:34,545 --> 00:22:38,758
She's 27 years old.
She's fighting the biological clock.
311
00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:41,761
Those little eggs are
ticking off like time bombs.
312
00:22:41,886 --> 00:22:44,847
Al, a woman can have a
healthy baby into her 40s.
313
00:22:44,972 --> 00:22:47,933
I know, but people
didn't realize that in 1961.
314
00:22:48,058 --> 00:22:50,311
We're talking
serious old maid here.
315
00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:52,730
She's probably up there
shredding newspapers right now.
316
00:22:52,855 --> 00:22:55,399
I wish that's what
she was doing.
317
00:22:56,692 --> 00:22:58,360
I'm warning you!
318
00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:02,031
What is your problem?
319
00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:07,244
You! You!
You... hermaphrodite, you.
320
00:23:07,369 --> 00:23:08,913
You're drivin' me crazy!
321
00:23:09,038 --> 00:23:12,249
I'm not performing with Tina, so she
thinks I've got somebody on the side.
322
00:23:12,374 --> 00:23:16,629
Beeks is laying this load of
repressed homosexual crap on me.
323
00:23:16,754 --> 00:23:18,714
And every time I see you,
324
00:23:18,839 --> 00:23:23,344
I've gotta deal with... this.
325
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,889
- I'm outta here.
- Well, you should get outta here.
326
00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:29,683
I can't believe that...
Al, look out!
327
00:23:34,104 --> 00:23:36,607
Yeah, close the door.
328
00:23:39,193 --> 00:23:40,903
Come on, Bubbles.
329
00:23:42,404 --> 00:23:45,908
Figure that Buddy would have
a dog named Bubbles.
330
00:23:48,619 --> 00:23:51,413
Come here.
Come here.
331
00:23:53,207 --> 00:23:55,251
This is great, you know.
332
00:23:57,294 --> 00:23:59,296
Gloria won't listen to me.
333
00:23:59,713 --> 00:24:03,050
My best friend's got a crush on
me, and I'm a woman.
334
00:24:05,261 --> 00:24:08,264
Whatever I did to deserve this...
You listening to me?
335
00:24:10,975 --> 00:24:12,768
I don't deserve this.
336
00:24:21,777 --> 00:24:24,363
What a glorious morning!
337
00:24:26,740 --> 00:24:28,242
There's Peeping George.
338
00:24:28,409 --> 00:24:31,412
Don't you think you oughta
put a... a robe on or...
339
00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:34,582
You're the one that's always saying we
should give the little guy a thrill.
340
00:24:34,999 --> 00:24:37,459
Besides, I'm too happy today
to hide anything.
341
00:24:37,626 --> 00:24:39,962
Oh, for heaven's sakes, Gloria.
342
00:24:43,924 --> 00:24:46,302
- What has gotten into you?
- Nothing.
343
00:24:46,427 --> 00:24:51,765
Nothing? You never get up before
noon on Saturday. You never cook.
344
00:24:51,891 --> 00:24:55,311
And I'm the one that's always pulling
you away half-naked from the window.
345
00:24:58,272 --> 00:24:59,982
Did Buddy tell his wife?
346
00:25:01,317 --> 00:25:04,945
Oh, that's it.
Yes.
347
00:25:06,822 --> 00:25:08,449
So he's moving out?
348
00:25:08,824 --> 00:25:10,993
Well, not yet.
He and Gail decided...
349
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:14,038
it would be easier on the children if
they waited until after the holidays.
350
00:25:15,331 --> 00:25:17,750
Gloria, it's almost
two months till Christmas.
351
00:25:17,958 --> 00:25:20,377
No, it's only a month
till Thanksgiving.
352
00:25:20,753 --> 00:25:25,215
And then Christmas, New Year's,
Valentine's Day, then President's Day...
353
00:25:25,382 --> 00:25:27,801
President's Day? And before you know
it, it's the Fourth ofJuly.
354
00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:30,123
We know that a man can't leave
his wife on the Fourth ofJuly.
355
00:25:30,221 --> 00:25:32,723
It would be un-American.
I'm sure they have a family barbecue,
356
00:25:32,890 --> 00:25:35,309
and I'll bet that Buddy's a whiz
at lighting charcoal with...
357
00:25:35,434 --> 00:25:37,019
Stop it! Just stop it!
358
00:25:37,144 --> 00:25:40,088
Buddy said he's leaving Gail
after the holidays and he will.
359
00:25:40,230 --> 00:25:43,317
- No, he won't.
- What do you have, a crystal ball?
360
00:25:43,383 --> 00:25:44,718
In a way.
361
00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:48,280
It's telling me that Buddy
will never leave his wife.
362
00:25:48,447 --> 00:25:50,658
Buddy is not Tony!
363
00:25:52,409 --> 00:25:53,619
Tony?
364
00:25:53,786 --> 00:25:55,829
It's not my fault
Tony lied to you.
365
00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:58,040
It's not my fault
Tony didn't leave his wife.
366
00:25:58,123 --> 00:25:59,500
So don't try
and spoil it for me...
367
00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:02,378
just because of what happened
to you two years ago!
368
00:26:29,655 --> 00:26:31,365
I'm sorry.
369
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,870
So am I.
370
00:26:37,287 --> 00:26:40,541
I shouldn't have brought up Tony.
It was a mean thing to do.
371
00:26:40,708 --> 00:26:42,126
No.
372
00:26:42,876 --> 00:26:48,048
Now and then I...
need reminding about things like that.
373
00:26:48,215 --> 00:26:51,176
Sam, please give Buddy a chance.
374
00:26:51,301 --> 00:26:53,846
Try and see it
from my point of view.
375
00:26:59,977 --> 00:27:01,520
I'll try.
376
00:27:06,150 --> 00:27:10,654
I'll tell you what.
Uh, it's a b-beautiful day.
377
00:27:10,821 --> 00:27:14,491
Um, how about brunch?
378
00:27:15,325 --> 00:27:17,661
At the Pump Room.
Then we'll go shopping at Horne's.
379
00:27:17,828 --> 00:27:19,496
I didn't say anything about shopping.
380
00:27:19,621 --> 00:27:22,249
A blind date is the perfect
excuse for a new dress.
381
00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:24,376
I bet your mother'll
even reimburse you.
382
00:27:24,501 --> 00:27:26,211
I've been thinking about backing
out of tonight.
383
00:27:26,336 --> 00:27:29,715
Oh, no way!
Your mom would kill you and me both.
384
00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:32,301
We'll find a gorgeous new dress,
385
00:27:32,426 --> 00:27:35,596
and then we'll splurge at the
Pink Door on a new hairdo.
386
00:27:35,721 --> 00:27:38,057
It'll be the perfect girl's day!
387
00:27:43,353 --> 00:27:47,191
When your mother told me she had this
beautiful daughter living in Detroit,
388
00:27:47,316 --> 00:27:49,276
I thought she was exaggerating.
389
00:27:49,443 --> 00:27:53,655
Mothers have a way
of doing that, but not yours.
390
00:27:53,781 --> 00:27:56,617
If anything, she understated.
391
00:27:56,825 --> 00:27:59,828
You are gorgeous.
392
00:28:02,372 --> 00:28:04,625
- Thank you.
- Dick,
393
00:28:04,750 --> 00:28:07,169
I think you're
embarrassing Miss Stormer.
394
00:28:07,336 --> 00:28:10,005
What woman doesn't like
being told how gorgeous she is?
395
00:28:10,130 --> 00:28:11,590
Me.
396
00:28:12,132 --> 00:28:15,427
- Are you in the automotive industry?
- Washers.
397
00:28:15,552 --> 00:28:19,765
- Clothing washers?
- No. Little rubber circles.
398
00:28:19,890 --> 00:28:23,227
We make them in 786 sizes
out of 31 different materials.
399
00:28:23,352 --> 00:28:25,187
Everything
from paper to plastic.
400
00:28:25,312 --> 00:28:28,899
You'll find our washers in every
car manufactured in Detroit.
401
00:28:31,401 --> 00:28:33,028
That's fascinating.
402
00:28:33,278 --> 00:28:36,907
Please, don't encourage him.
He'll bore you to death.
403
00:28:37,407 --> 00:28:38,992
I can't imagine.
404
00:28:39,159 --> 00:28:41,703
See? You've been
out of the circuit too long.
405
00:28:41,870 --> 00:28:45,707
He was married at 19,
and after 20 years, she split on him.
406
00:28:46,041 --> 00:28:51,130
My wife... ex-wife...
Had other ideas about...
407
00:28:51,255 --> 00:28:53,799
what she thought
her life should be like.
408
00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,969
And I wasn't included.
409
00:28:57,511 --> 00:29:01,557
Drop the violins.
This is a night for the future.
410
00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:04,643
Isn't that right, sweetheart?
411
00:29:22,161 --> 00:29:25,664
I have to go...
to the ladies room.
412
00:29:26,206 --> 00:29:28,542
- I'll come with you.
- No.
413
00:29:28,876 --> 00:29:30,752
I'd rather go by myself.
414
00:29:41,221 --> 00:29:44,933
Feisty little wench,
but I like that.
415
00:29:48,812 --> 00:29:50,647
Calling somebody we know?
416
00:29:50,772 --> 00:29:54,276
You. So we can talk, and I won't look
like a lunatic. Where have you been?
417
00:29:55,235 --> 00:29:57,112
I've been with Beeks.
418
00:29:57,279 --> 00:30:00,282
She says I'm gonna need
five years of analysis...
419
00:30:00,407 --> 00:30:04,119
before I'll be able to deal
with you as a... a woman.
420
00:30:04,244 --> 00:30:05,996
I'm not a woman!
421
00:30:07,164 --> 00:30:10,709
That's what I
keep telling myself.
422
00:30:10,834 --> 00:30:12,836
Al, I'm ruining Samantha's life.
423
00:30:12,961 --> 00:30:16,381
I just slugged her date with
my purse for grabbing my knee.
424
00:30:16,590 --> 00:30:20,135
He grabbed...
That dirty dog.
425
00:30:20,260 --> 00:30:23,388
Would you stop that?
When am I gonna get outta here?
426
00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:26,975
When you stop Gloria
from committing suicide.
427
00:30:27,100 --> 00:30:29,895
- Which is?
- Tonight.
428
00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,567
I didn't really think that talking
to a woman after all these years...
429
00:30:35,692 --> 00:30:38,362
would be so easy,
so comfortable.
430
00:30:38,487 --> 00:30:40,781
Some of it has to do
with being lucky enough
431
00:30:40,906 --> 00:30:43,057
to find a woman with
your sensitivity.
432
00:30:43,144 --> 00:30:47,079
I wasn't going to go out on this date.
Ever since Edith asked me to move out,
433
00:30:47,162 --> 00:30:51,124
I've locked myself away in my tiny
apartment, angry at the world.
434
00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:53,001
Tonight I don't
feel angry at all.
435
00:30:53,168 --> 00:30:55,504
That's because of you, Gloria.
I'm glad I came.
436
00:30:55,712 --> 00:30:58,215
I just wanted you to know that.
I was wondering if...
437
00:30:58,340 --> 00:31:01,969
- Would you excuse me for a moment?
- Sure.
438
00:31:05,055 --> 00:31:08,600
Big guy, I think we got us
a couple of hot ones.
439
00:31:16,566 --> 00:31:19,194
- Mrs. Wright?
- Yes?
440
00:31:19,319 --> 00:31:22,823
We haven't met.
My name is Gloria.
441
00:31:22,948 --> 00:31:24,616
Gloria Collins.
442
00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:28,370
Oh, yes. Mrs. Davenport is
sponsoring you into theJunior League.
443
00:31:28,537 --> 00:31:31,623
No. Buddy's Gloria.
444
00:31:32,082 --> 00:31:35,627
- His new secretary?
- No.
445
00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:38,380
I just wanted you to tell you
that I know how difficult...
446
00:31:38,547 --> 00:31:40,674
it's going to be
going through the divorce.
447
00:31:40,799 --> 00:31:44,637
And I'm going to do everything I can
to make it easier on the children.
448
00:31:45,220 --> 00:31:48,015
Sit down, Miss... Collins?
449
00:31:50,726 --> 00:31:54,813
I'm going to try to do this
as gracefully as possible.
450
00:31:58,191 --> 00:32:00,777
Buddy and I have an arrangement.
451
00:32:00,902 --> 00:32:04,197
He has his personal life,
and I have mine.
452
00:32:04,323 --> 00:32:08,035
Now, whatever lies my husband
has obviously told you,
453
00:32:08,452 --> 00:32:10,620
he will never divorce me.
454
00:32:10,746 --> 00:32:13,498
Buddy is far too egotistical
to give up the status...
455
00:32:13,623 --> 00:32:16,001
he acquired when he married me.
456
00:32:16,293 --> 00:32:20,797
And if he ever tries,
I will strip him to his shorts.
457
00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:25,927
My advice to you, dear, is to quietly
close your hope chest on this one,
458
00:32:26,053 --> 00:32:28,430
and try someone else's husband.
459
00:32:28,889 --> 00:32:33,518
Good-bye, Miss Collins. You will
forgive me if I don't shake your hand.
460
00:32:37,481 --> 00:32:39,983
What happens tonight that
sends her over the deep end?
461
00:32:40,108 --> 00:32:43,070
There's no data on that.
All we know...
462
00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:46,198
is that on October 16, 1961,
463
00:32:46,323 --> 00:32:48,658
Gloria Collins
committed suicide by...
464
00:32:48,784 --> 00:32:50,118
Samantha!
465
00:32:51,328 --> 00:32:54,206
- Bye, Mom.
- Gloria left.
466
00:32:54,331 --> 00:32:55,999
- What?
- I don't know what happened.
467
00:32:56,083 --> 00:33:00,462
We were talking. She excused herself
and went to this table in the next room.
468
00:33:00,587 --> 00:33:03,965
She was talking to a rather
attractive woman,
469
00:33:04,091 --> 00:33:08,053
and after a minute or so,
Gloria got very upset and she ran out.
470
00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:15,018
- Do you know them?
- Unfortunately.
471
00:33:15,143 --> 00:33:17,938
This is it, Sam.
Hari-kari time.
472
00:33:18,397 --> 00:33:21,483
- Is there anything I can do?
- Pray.
473
00:33:58,478 --> 00:34:01,606
Gloria, it's Sam.
I'm comin' out.
474
00:34:03,692 --> 00:34:05,944
I just wanna talk to you.
Go away.
475
00:34:06,069 --> 00:34:09,948
- I can't. You're my friend.
- Then let me do this. It's my choice.
476
00:34:10,073 --> 00:34:13,577
- Suicide is not a choice.
- Neither is living.
477
00:34:13,702 --> 00:34:17,998
- Why not?
- I love him, Sam.
478
00:34:18,790 --> 00:34:22,878
Even realizing what a fool he made of
me, I still love him.
479
00:34:23,253 --> 00:34:25,964
I can't pretend I don't.
480
00:34:26,590 --> 00:34:31,219
I can't pretend the pain I feel isn't
real, and it'll go away tomorrow.
481
00:34:31,308 --> 00:34:33,310
Suicide won't change that.
482
00:34:33,897 --> 00:34:35,807
It'll end it.
483
00:34:36,558 --> 00:34:40,854
So will time.
Only, it'll give you a second chance.
484
00:34:40,979 --> 00:34:43,732
You're not the first woman
to love the wrong man.
485
00:34:43,857 --> 00:34:45,984
It doesn't matter anymore.
486
00:34:46,109 --> 00:34:49,821
Gloria, Buddy's
not worth dying over!
487
00:34:55,660 --> 00:34:57,704
Is that what I'm doing?
488
00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,414
That's what he'll think.
489
00:34:59,831 --> 00:35:04,586
And he'll be right. He'll think
you're killing yourself over him.
490
00:35:04,753 --> 00:35:07,464
- Do you want to give him that?
- No.
491
00:35:09,925 --> 00:35:11,551
Give me your hand.
492
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,059
Come on, now.
Nice and slow.
493
00:35:19,226 --> 00:35:21,394
- Oh.
- Easy.
494
00:35:22,103 --> 00:35:23,702
Aaah!
495
00:35:24,439 --> 00:35:26,608
It's all right.
It's all right.
496
00:35:33,323 --> 00:35:34,824
Sam!
497
00:35:39,246 --> 00:35:41,414
- Kick your shoes off!
- I can't!
498
00:35:41,623 --> 00:35:43,458
Grab my leg and kick 'em off.
499
00:35:46,419 --> 00:35:48,004
That's it.
500
00:35:48,129 --> 00:35:49,839
- Don't look down!
- Oh, my God!
501
00:35:49,965 --> 00:35:51,508
Look at me!
502
00:35:51,841 --> 00:35:55,929
Put your left foot toward me.
Slide it real easy.
503
00:35:58,612 --> 00:36:00,016
Aren't you gonna...
504
00:36:00,183 --> 00:36:02,602
- Keep comin'. Crawl over me.
- No!
505
00:36:02,727 --> 00:36:05,313
It's the only way.
Just do it.
506
00:36:14,656 --> 00:36:16,241
Hang on!
507
00:36:17,659 --> 00:36:20,537
Ah. Ah.
508
00:36:27,961 --> 00:36:29,879
Grab my arm!
509
00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:31,840
Hold on!
510
00:36:32,132 --> 00:36:33,883
I've got you!
511
00:36:47,397 --> 00:36:49,399
I made you some warm milk.
512
00:36:55,530 --> 00:36:59,242
My mom used to bring me
warm milk on rainy nights.
513
00:37:00,243 --> 00:37:02,245
Moms know best.
514
00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:07,208
I don't know about that, Sam.
515
00:37:09,085 --> 00:37:11,296
She used to tell me that...
516
00:37:11,755 --> 00:37:14,883
someday a Prince Charming
would come along,
517
00:37:15,508 --> 00:37:19,846
and we'd get married
and buy a beautiful house...
518
00:37:21,306 --> 00:37:23,475
and have a couple of kids.
519
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,771
She really blew that one.
520
00:37:29,230 --> 00:37:31,399
You're not exactly an old maid.
521
00:37:33,276 --> 00:37:35,570
It's not gonna happen for me.
522
00:37:36,655 --> 00:37:41,284
I've been waiting for nine years,
and it's just not gonna happen.
523
00:37:42,285 --> 00:37:44,120
Is that what you've
been waiting for?
524
00:37:44,371 --> 00:37:46,706
For a man to come
and take you away?
525
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,627
Why do you think I'm
in the secretarial pool?
526
00:37:51,670 --> 00:37:53,755
I thought it was because you
enjoyed what you were doing.
527
00:37:53,922 --> 00:37:55,340
I hate it.
528
00:37:55,590 --> 00:37:59,094
But that's the only place
you can meet eligible guys.
529
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,179
Like Buddy?
530
00:38:04,099 --> 00:38:08,603
Gloria, you can't use your
job as an excuse to meet guys.
531
00:38:09,479 --> 00:38:12,857
I can't spend the next 30 years
in the secretarial pool either.
532
00:38:12,982 --> 00:38:14,234
Then get out.
533
00:38:14,342 --> 00:38:16,344
- And do what?
- Whatever you want.
534
00:38:17,445 --> 00:38:19,948
I... I want...
535
00:38:21,241 --> 00:38:25,412
- What?
- I want to design cars.
536
00:38:25,578 --> 00:38:28,456
- Then do it.
- Right.
537
00:38:28,748 --> 00:38:31,292
I'm gonna go into the office
Monday morning and say,
538
00:38:31,459 --> 00:38:33,670
"Excuse me,
but I have an art degree
539
00:38:33,795 --> 00:38:36,280
"and that qualifies me
for the design program."
540
00:38:36,381 --> 00:38:38,633
- Why not?
- Because.
541
00:38:38,758 --> 00:38:41,219
There's never been a woman
in the program.
542
00:38:42,095 --> 00:38:43,763
Well, then,
543
00:38:45,765 --> 00:38:47,767
you'll have to be the first.
544
00:38:47,934 --> 00:38:50,353
Do you know
how hard that would be?
545
00:38:51,813 --> 00:38:56,067
Yeah, I think I do.
And you know what?
546
00:38:56,776 --> 00:38:59,863
You're gonna have to be twice as
good just to be considered an equal.
547
00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:04,075
I don't know
if I can do that, Sam.
548
00:39:05,493 --> 00:39:08,329
I don't know either,
but you gotta try.
549
00:39:09,038 --> 00:39:12,500
You have got to be what makes
you feel good about yourself.
550
00:39:12,625 --> 00:39:14,335
And then what?
551
00:39:14,753 --> 00:39:17,422
And then maybe you'll like you.
552
00:39:18,923 --> 00:39:21,426
Because if you don't
like yourself, Gloria,
553
00:39:22,552 --> 00:39:24,471
no one else will either.
554
00:39:25,722 --> 00:39:30,560
Except guys like Buddy,
and you're not that desperate.
555
00:39:34,355 --> 00:39:36,316
I was tonight.
556
00:39:39,319 --> 00:39:41,112
Thank you.
557
00:39:44,491 --> 00:39:47,035
Oh, I hope when
the right guy finds you,
558
00:39:47,140 --> 00:39:50,397
he realizes
what a good woman you are.
559
00:39:57,212 --> 00:39:59,172
Why don't you get some rest?
560
00:39:59,798 --> 00:40:01,674
Good night, Sam.
561
00:40:08,264 --> 00:40:09,974
Good night.
562
00:40:35,583 --> 00:40:37,836
- Ah!
- Hi, cutie.
563
00:40:37,961 --> 00:40:40,088
You look great in powder blue.
564
00:40:40,380 --> 00:40:43,925
I'm gonna put a bell around your neck.
Where were you?
565
00:40:44,050 --> 00:40:45,760
I was with Tina.
566
00:40:47,387 --> 00:40:50,890
I thought you were having
problems with Tina.
567
00:40:51,391 --> 00:40:53,893
I was but Beeks fixed that.
568
00:40:54,185 --> 00:40:57,939
She got me to accept you're my best
friend, and love is part of friendship.
569
00:40:58,106 --> 00:41:02,735
Once I believed that, I took Tina up to
a little cabin in the mountains and...
570
00:41:02,861 --> 00:41:04,821
- Well, you know.
- Yeah.
571
00:41:06,489 --> 00:41:07,991
I know.
572
00:41:09,909 --> 00:41:11,619
We ever gonna be the same?
573
00:41:11,744 --> 00:41:13,454
Course we are,
as soon as you leap.
574
00:41:13,538 --> 00:41:15,290
Why haven't I leaped?
575
00:41:16,499 --> 00:41:18,626
Gloria's not gonna
try again, is she?
576
00:41:18,877 --> 00:41:22,961
Uh, no, no, no.
She's gonna marry, uh, Parker.
577
00:41:23,506 --> 00:41:25,425
The little guy?
The guy she met tonight?
578
00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:28,428
Yeah. They're gonna have
a couple of kids.
579
00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:31,806
They're gonna move to California.
They're gonna raise avocados.
580
00:41:31,931 --> 00:41:34,684
I thought I started
women's lib. Hmph.
581
00:41:34,888 --> 00:41:37,099
Well, you did in a way.
582
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:42,317
Gloria talked Samantha into joining
the design program with her.
583
00:41:42,442 --> 00:41:44,944
It turned out Samantha
had the real talent.
584
00:41:45,069 --> 00:41:47,488
She ended up heading
the entire division.
585
00:41:47,655 --> 00:41:50,825
Oh, and get this.
She adopted a little girl...
586
00:41:50,950 --> 00:41:54,370
and started one of the first organizations
for single parents in the country.
587
00:41:54,537 --> 00:41:58,374
- She never married?
- No. What a waste.
588
00:42:00,376 --> 00:42:02,253
I'm really confused now, Al.
589
00:42:02,837 --> 00:42:06,424
If Gloria's okay and Samantha's
emancipated, why haven't I leaped?
590
00:42:06,549 --> 00:42:09,302
Ziggy has a fascinating
theory about that.
591
00:42:10,345 --> 00:42:12,597
He says you want
to get even with Buddy...
592
00:42:12,722 --> 00:42:16,100
for chasin' you around the office
and makin' you wear lipstick.
593
00:42:16,351 --> 00:42:20,939
Revenge? Oh, come on.
I'm not leaping because I want revenge?
594
00:42:21,064 --> 00:42:23,358
Very... female.
595
00:42:30,198 --> 00:42:33,701
Al was right.
I wanted revenge.
596
00:42:34,202 --> 00:42:37,455
So I slipped
into Samantha's spiked heels,
597
00:42:37,580 --> 00:42:43,127
put on the most revealing dress I
could get my... hairy chest into,
598
00:42:43,252 --> 00:42:49,008
and was ready to give Buddy a lesson
in sexual harassment he'd never forget.
599
00:42:57,517 --> 00:42:59,143
You wanted me?
600
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,107
How's Gloria?
601
00:43:04,691 --> 00:43:08,820
In Ann Arbor, visiting
her mother for a few days.
602
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,407
You know, she gave me quite a
little upset Saturday night.
603
00:43:12,532 --> 00:43:16,619
Well, that's because Gloria doesn't
know how to play the game.
604
00:43:17,996 --> 00:43:19,998
And you do?
605
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,837
What do you think?
606
00:43:38,391 --> 00:43:40,435
I knew it all along.
607
00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:43,479
Yeah.
608
00:43:44,063 --> 00:43:48,526
I had you figured
from the start. I did.
609
00:43:48,651 --> 00:43:54,699
All of that playing hard to
get in the secretarial pool...
610
00:43:55,700 --> 00:43:59,203
didn't have me fooled
for one second.
611
00:44:02,165 --> 00:44:05,209
- It didn't?
- Nope.
612
00:44:05,501 --> 00:44:10,381
You were just waiting
for the, uh, "Wright" man.
613
00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:13,968
Was I?
614
00:44:17,388 --> 00:44:21,601
All that coy, "Oh, I don't
date married men."
615
00:44:21,726 --> 00:44:24,520
That was just a smoke screen.
616
00:44:24,562 --> 00:44:26,272
Right, baby?
617
00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:31,152
You know me so well.
618
00:44:33,905 --> 00:44:35,740
Buddy,
619
00:44:36,699 --> 00:44:38,326
there's, um...
620
00:44:38,868 --> 00:44:42,455
There's just one thing
you don't know.
621
00:44:42,789 --> 00:44:44,749
Tell me, baby.
622
00:44:46,709 --> 00:44:48,336
I'm a man.
623
00:44:50,338 --> 00:44:53,132
- What?
- I'm a man,
624
00:44:53,883 --> 00:44:58,471
a male, a person
of the masculine gender.
625
00:45:00,890 --> 00:45:02,642
What are you talking about?
626
00:45:03,768 --> 00:45:07,105
You're trying
to make it with a man.
627
00:45:13,861 --> 00:45:17,198
No way.
Not with this body.
628
00:45:17,323 --> 00:45:19,450
Bodies can be deceiving.
629
00:45:21,828 --> 00:45:24,205
You can't be a man!
630
00:45:24,330 --> 00:45:26,290
Why, because I turn you on?
631
00:45:26,499 --> 00:45:29,794
W... Yeah.
Um, ah...
632
00:45:30,753 --> 00:45:33,506
I-I-I mean, no!
633
00:45:33,631 --> 00:45:36,801
No. Oh, no!
I... I, uh...
634
00:45:36,926 --> 00:45:40,422
You, you were a, uh...
You mean you had a...
635
00:45:40,474 --> 00:45:43,558
Y-You did a Christine Jorgensen?
636
00:45:43,683 --> 00:45:46,018
No, no. I didn't say
I used to be a man.
637
00:45:46,144 --> 00:45:48,563
I said...
I am a man.
638
00:45:51,190 --> 00:45:52,608
And I'll prove it to you.
639
00:45:52,692 --> 00:45:54,277
No!
640
00:45:56,028 --> 00:46:01,576
If you look closely,
you'll notice that I walk like a man.
641
00:46:01,701 --> 00:46:03,744
I stand like a man.
642
00:46:03,870 --> 00:46:05,955
And I know things
that only a man can know.
643
00:46:05,997 --> 00:46:08,624
Like what it feels like
to get kicked in the crotch,
644
00:46:08,708 --> 00:46:11,752
how the pain just keeps
growing and growing.
645
00:46:11,836 --> 00:46:14,839
And then that wonderful sensation
when it finally subsides.
646
00:46:14,922 --> 00:46:18,509
Or what it's like to walk around high
school with your books in front of you...
647
00:46:18,593 --> 00:46:22,805
to cover up an embarrassing case
of pubescent hormonal overload.
648
00:46:22,972 --> 00:46:24,932
You had a brother?
649
00:46:25,016 --> 00:46:28,853
Does a brother tell his sister what he
did looking at his first centerfold?
650
00:46:32,106 --> 00:46:33,816
No, you stay away from me.
651
00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:35,693
I thought I turned you on.
652
00:46:37,570 --> 00:46:40,656
I don't have time
for this stupid game.
653
00:46:40,907 --> 00:46:44,619
Speaking of games, why don't I
show you how I throw a baseball.
654
00:46:50,041 --> 00:46:53,920
Or better yet,
how I throw a punch.
655
00:47:06,349 --> 00:47:08,517
Not yet. Not yet.
656
00:47:15,608 --> 00:47:17,735
I'm ready to leap now.
657
00:47:35,086 --> 00:47:36,712
Oh, boy.
51795
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