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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:11,453 The first rule of quantum leaping is to find out who I am. 2 00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:16,333 Then, who I'm here to help. 3 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,544 Charlie-san! 4 00:00:20,337 --> 00:00:24,091 Third, if I've made a mistake, know how to make up for it. 5 00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:28,387 - And always, always know when to leave. - Sayonara, Sam. 6 00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:40,399 Which brings me back to the first rule of quantum leaping 7 00:00:40,524 --> 00:00:42,818 finding out who I am. 8 00:00:45,737 --> 00:00:47,156 Sam? 9 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,533 My name! 10 00:00:50,742 --> 00:00:55,038 I'm gonna be called by my own name. Who is it? 11 00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:58,000 It's Gloria, you yo-yo, who else would it be? 12 00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,627 I have to run to the store. I ran my last pair of stockings. 13 00:01:00,711 --> 00:01:04,756 - You need anything? - Uh, no, no. I'm fine. 14 00:01:05,048 --> 00:01:06,800 Will you zip me up? 15 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,095 You'd better hurry up. You'll be late for your new job. 16 00:01:11,763 --> 00:01:15,684 Uh, yeah, right. My new... My new job. 17 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,270 Like it's no big deal. An executive position like this... 18 00:01:18,353 --> 00:01:21,982 opens up once every five years and never to someone our age, 19 00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:25,903 Miss Youngest Executive Secretary at the company. 20 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,155 Miss? 21 00:01:45,297 --> 00:01:47,007 Wow! 22 00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:53,222 Oh, my God. 23 00:01:53,972 --> 00:01:55,807 It's true! 24 00:01:58,602 --> 00:02:01,063 No, you... You could lower that. 25 00:02:01,146 --> 00:02:04,107 - I'm a woman! - And I'm in love. 26 00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:08,487 If it was anybody else, Sam, I'd be all over you like a cheap suit. 27 00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,781 - Stop it. - What? 28 00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:14,284 I'm just... I'm enjoying the view. 29 00:02:14,785 --> 00:02:17,704 Let's face it. You're a knockout. 30 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:23,877 You mean... you see me a-as her? 31 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:27,513 Course I see you as her. And back in the waiting room, I see her as you. 32 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,784 That's the way it works, don't you remember? 33 00:02:30,008 --> 00:02:31,718 No, not really. 34 00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:35,222 Al, this-this... This feels really weird. 35 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:39,893 Think about how Samantha feels. She's so confused, we're using Verbena Beeks. 36 00:02:40,018 --> 00:02:44,398 - Anti-depressants? - Dr. Verbena Beeks. 37 00:02:44,523 --> 00:02:48,819 She's the project shrink. I used to think she was cute. 38 00:02:48,986 --> 00:02:52,072 Would you stop looking at me like that! Sam, you better get used to it. 39 00:02:52,113 --> 00:02:54,238 You're gonna have to convince everybody you're a woman. 40 00:02:54,283 --> 00:02:57,744 - No! - Yes! Yes, that's the rule, Sam. 41 00:02:58,203 --> 00:03:01,415 Everybody has to believe you are Samantha... 42 00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:04,293 so that whatever's wrong here can be made right. 43 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,712 - Well, just what is that, please? - I don't know. 44 00:03:06,878 --> 00:03:10,632 Gooshie and I haven't had time to feed any programs through Ziggy. 45 00:03:10,799 --> 00:03:13,427 Well, would you do it, please? Get on it. 46 00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:16,513 Whatever you say, beautiful. 47 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,349 Get out of here. Just get out of my bathroom. 48 00:03:20,058 --> 00:03:22,519 You have a wonderful sense of humor. 49 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,852 Detroit, Michigan, 1961. 50 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:49,064 Roger Maris is about to break Babe Ruth's home run record. 51 00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:51,858 But am I wearing cleats, sliding into second? No. 52 00:04:51,983 --> 00:04:55,612 I'm wearing three-inch high heels and trying desperately not to fall on my... 53 00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:57,197 face. 54 00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,866 I told you you should have worn a girdle. 55 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,702 I'm not into bondage. 56 00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:05,414 Do you remember how Debbie Moore used to say that before she had her baby? 57 00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:07,541 Now she wouldn't be caught dead without one. 58 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,168 I still can't believe she went back to work. 59 00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,877 What's wrong with that? 60 00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:15,966 Excuse me, but aren't you the same girl that said, 61 00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:19,010 "The day I get that gold band is the day I quit work, 62 00:05:19,136 --> 00:05:21,430 start shopping and eat anything chocolate." 63 00:05:21,596 --> 00:05:23,348 Great. I'm a gold digger. 64 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:26,059 I'd never say that about my best friend. 65 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,854 Let's just say you're mentally prepared... 66 00:05:28,979 --> 00:05:31,523 for a life different than the one you're in. 67 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:34,943 That's our bus! Hey, wait! 68 00:05:40,031 --> 00:05:41,491 Hold it. 69 00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:45,120 Ah, ooh, ah. 70 00:05:45,996 --> 00:05:49,750 No stockings? You're such a bohemian. 71 00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:05,098 Two hours as Samantha, and I knew that the lyrics... 72 00:06:05,223 --> 00:06:08,518 to "I Enjoy Being a Girl" were not written by one. 73 00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:11,062 Whew! I only hope my job... 74 00:06:11,188 --> 00:06:15,108 doesn't require anything more than sharpening pencils or mailing a letter. 75 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,944 At least until Ziggy figures out why I'm here. 76 00:06:24,826 --> 00:06:26,161 What's wrong? 77 00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:29,706 Buddy got his promotion. 78 00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:32,626 - Buddy? - My fiancé... 79 00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:36,254 If you can call a guy who's married your fiancé. 80 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,131 I don't think so. 81 00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:40,008 I can't believe he did this. 82 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,553 This is what we've been waiting for, so he could leave Gail. 83 00:06:44,179 --> 00:06:47,557 He didn't even ask for me to be his secretary. 84 00:06:48,225 --> 00:06:49,726 I'm sorry. 85 00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:51,561 You were right, Sam. 86 00:06:51,686 --> 00:06:55,273 Married men are just a one-way ticket to Nowheresville. 87 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,734 I don't know why I keep believing. 88 00:06:57,901 --> 00:07:00,570 Sometimes I think I should just give it all up. 89 00:07:00,737 --> 00:07:02,364 Gloria. 90 00:07:04,199 --> 00:07:05,700 I'll be fine. 91 00:07:06,201 --> 00:07:08,161 I'm always fine. 92 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,399 From my heart. 93 00:07:39,276 --> 00:07:41,152 I hope everything's there. 94 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,989 Uh, yeah. Well, I... I hope so too. 95 00:07:44,155 --> 00:07:47,826 If there is any problem, I'm the man to talk to. 96 00:07:48,577 --> 00:07:52,163 I did the move myself, beautiful. 97 00:07:53,582 --> 00:07:56,877 - Beautiful? - Oh, okay. Miss Stormer. 98 00:07:57,043 --> 00:08:00,005 But, um, if you like, 99 00:08:00,171 --> 00:08:03,008 I could call you Samantha, and, uh, 100 00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:05,677 you could call me Big John. 101 00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:11,600 I'm gonna call you "dead" if you don't get outta my face. 102 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:14,394 Aw. I was just trying to be friendly. 103 00:08:14,519 --> 00:08:17,314 Be friendly on your own time, Johnny, 104 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,482 or you'll be delivering mail for Studebaker. 105 00:08:19,608 --> 00:08:22,819 - On the double, Mr. Wright. - Miss Stormer, in my office. 106 00:08:22,983 --> 00:08:24,860 And bring a pad and pencil. 107 00:08:27,532 --> 00:08:29,367 Great guy. 108 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:06,196 I didn't realize until I watched you walk through that door, 109 00:09:06,321 --> 00:09:10,325 how incredibly beautiful you really are. 110 00:09:10,742 --> 00:09:12,911 Whatever I did, I'm sorry. 111 00:09:13,078 --> 00:09:17,582 I'm sorry, too, that... I didn't become a vice president sooner. 112 00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:21,127 But we'll make up for that... starting tonight? 113 00:09:22,045 --> 00:09:26,174 Drinks... to celebrate our... 114 00:09:26,424 --> 00:09:27,634 Our new positions. 115 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,512 My natural instinct was to punch him out. 116 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:34,265 But as Al said, I had to play this as Samantha. 117 00:09:35,934 --> 00:09:39,187 I don't think so, Mr. Wright. 118 00:09:39,354 --> 00:09:42,857 - Buddy. Buddy. - Buddy. 119 00:09:43,024 --> 00:09:44,985 What do you mean you don't think so? 120 00:09:45,694 --> 00:09:48,154 Well, you're ma-married. 121 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,031 So? 122 00:09:50,949 --> 00:09:53,535 So, I-I... I don't date married men. 123 00:09:53,702 --> 00:09:56,579 I figured I was just the fella to change all of that. 124 00:09:56,746 --> 00:09:59,666 - You figured wrong. - Samantha, I understand... 125 00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:03,420 playing hard to get in the steno pool, but you've got the job now. 126 00:10:03,545 --> 00:10:08,967 I overlooked some very eligible gals to, uh, 127 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,177 give it to you. 128 00:10:11,386 --> 00:10:13,722 This is sexual harassment! 129 00:10:14,431 --> 00:10:16,850 I don't know what that is, but I like the sound of it. 130 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,477 Why don't you just explain that to me tonight over drinks? 131 00:10:19,644 --> 00:10:22,397 Why don't you let your wife explain it to you? 132 00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:28,403 Samantha. Samantha. 133 00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:31,281 I would. Only my... 134 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:37,245 Well, my wife... won't be sober enough... 135 00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:39,789 to even say hello when I get home tonight. 136 00:10:44,419 --> 00:10:48,465 Get me Bixby's market research. I need it for my 10:30. 137 00:10:48,757 --> 00:10:50,633 And put on some makeup. 138 00:10:51,176 --> 00:10:53,845 You're representing Buddy Wright out there. 139 00:11:21,498 --> 00:11:24,501 How's the girl of my dreams? 140 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,922 You know, this is... It's degrading. 141 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,342 I mean, first he... He chases me around his office, 142 00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:36,262 a-and then... and then he says I gotta wear lipstick! 143 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:40,934 It's a pity they didn't have the wet look in '61... 144 00:11:41,976 --> 00:11:45,480 'cause you would look fabulous with wet lips. 145 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,398 I'm so happy about that. 146 00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:49,839 - This is... This is hard on me, Sam. - Oh? 147 00:11:49,894 --> 00:11:53,571 It's hard on me. I can't stop thinking about you. 148 00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:59,536 Time has packaged my best friend inside a goddess of love. 149 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:05,166 It's got me worried, Sam. I'm talking to Dr. Beeks. 150 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,960 Sam? 151 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,420 I've been looking everywhere for you. 152 00:12:10,672 --> 00:12:13,091 Buddy called. He explained everything. 153 00:12:13,194 --> 00:12:15,381 The reason why he didn't tell me about the promotion 154 00:12:15,426 --> 00:12:17,744 was because he wanted it to be a surprise. 155 00:12:17,846 --> 00:12:20,932 - He wants to marry me! - He's already married. 156 00:12:21,057 --> 00:12:24,060 - This is why you're here, Sam. - He's leaving Gail. 157 00:12:24,126 --> 00:12:25,853 He was waiting for the promotion, 158 00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,223 so he could afford to fight for custody of the children. 159 00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:30,942 - I'm getting married! - No, she's not. 160 00:12:31,401 --> 00:12:34,696 Gloria, "I'm leaving my wife"... 161 00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:36,447 It's the oldest lie in the book. 162 00:12:36,573 --> 00:12:41,119 Don't spoil this for me. You're my best friend. Just be happy for me, please. 163 00:12:41,411 --> 00:12:43,413 - Gloria... - I gotta get back. 164 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,623 Culpepper'll be screaming for me. 165 00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:48,710 Oh, I'm so happy! 166 00:12:52,297 --> 00:12:55,013 - What happens? - Well, when she finds out... 167 00:12:55,069 --> 00:12:57,530 Mr. Wrong won't marry her... 168 00:12:59,804 --> 00:13:02,140 She commits suicide. 169 00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:12,692 I have come to the conclusion that women are part masochist. 170 00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:17,030 It's like someone designed a modern-day torture rack you can wear: 171 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,783 from the bra, to the stockings, to the tight skirts, 172 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,661 and the shoes from hell. 173 00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:27,248 They get up everyday and perform this weird binding ritual. 174 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:29,292 And for what? 175 00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:34,255 Wow! You look terrific. 176 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,925 I'm supposed to look conservative. 177 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,429 You couldn't look conservative if you tried. 178 00:13:42,305 --> 00:13:45,141 - Thanks. - Come here. 179 00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,481 Eat your heart out, Marilyn. 180 00:13:51,648 --> 00:13:55,860 If anybody but my best friend were working for Buddy, I'd be worried. 181 00:13:55,985 --> 00:13:58,571 Anyone else and you'd have good reason. 182 00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:04,733 Please don't. I told you last night. I love him and he loves me. 183 00:14:04,953 --> 00:14:06,913 That's all that matters. 184 00:14:07,121 --> 00:14:08,998 What about his wife and kids? 185 00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:11,793 She is a monster, Sam. 186 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,712 She drinks and she fights with him. 187 00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:18,132 She doesn't care about herself or the children... 188 00:14:18,299 --> 00:14:21,970 Not to mention the affair she's having with the tennis pro at the club. 189 00:14:22,136 --> 00:14:26,641 Buddy is so unhappy. He said I'm his only hope. 190 00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,560 Do you know how special that makes me feel? 191 00:14:29,686 --> 00:14:33,523 Gloria, you shouldn't need a man to make you feel special. 192 00:14:33,731 --> 00:14:35,817 - But I do. - Why? 193 00:14:35,984 --> 00:14:39,320 - You are beautiful... - I'm not beautiful. 194 00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:42,740 I'm cute, maybe, but I'm not beautiful. 195 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:47,120 But you are. And not just on the outside, 196 00:14:47,328 --> 00:14:50,832 but in here, where it counts. 197 00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:54,210 Men don't want what's in here. 198 00:14:54,335 --> 00:14:56,754 They want what you've got. 199 00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:58,881 Except for Buddy. 200 00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:01,926 He was the one in a million that loved me for myself. 201 00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:04,429 I wish that were so, Gloria, but... 202 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:07,307 having just spent a day with him, I-I... 203 00:15:07,765 --> 00:15:09,225 It makes me doubt it. 204 00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,269 Why should I believe you? 205 00:15:11,394 --> 00:15:15,231 Have you ever had a man love you for anything besides your body? 206 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,572 I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. 207 00:15:22,697 --> 00:15:24,490 No, that's... It's okay. 208 00:15:24,615 --> 00:15:28,286 Oh, Sam, I love him, and he loves me. 209 00:15:28,411 --> 00:15:32,165 Don't ask me to give up my one chance at happiness. 210 00:15:35,752 --> 00:15:39,839 Iacocca's got Eisenhower hawking for him at $ 1,000 a plate! 211 00:15:39,964 --> 00:15:42,300 Can you believe it? The president of the United States! 212 00:15:42,415 --> 00:15:44,052 He's a hell of a showman. 213 00:15:44,927 --> 00:15:47,722 Of course, he's gotta be... 214 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:51,267 after that A-bomb of an Edsel last year. 215 00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:55,188 I liked the Edsel. It was a dog, Ted. 216 00:15:55,313 --> 00:15:57,815 Nobody wanted a car with a zero for a grille. 217 00:15:58,238 --> 00:16:00,074 Maybe not. But I'm not so sure... 218 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,320 the public wants what we've got on the drawing boards. 219 00:16:02,487 --> 00:16:03,780 What are you talking about? 220 00:16:03,905 --> 00:16:07,116 I had before me a firsthand definition of sleaze. 221 00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:11,579 Buddy had perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect eyes and perfect chin. 222 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,499 But they weren't the arrow that made women like Gloria fall. 223 00:16:14,624 --> 00:16:19,003 It was the velvet tones all neatly wrapped in wit and charm. 224 00:16:19,128 --> 00:16:20,713 We can't base our designs on California, Ted. 225 00:16:20,838 --> 00:16:24,092 They're avocado growers and movie stars... 226 00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:26,748 - with kinky tastes... - He was a master of manipulation, 227 00:16:26,928 --> 00:16:28,805 - for foreign sports cars. - And he knew it. 228 00:16:28,930 --> 00:16:32,058 Yes, but they spend more time on the freeways than they do in their homes. 229 00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:33,935 We're gonna get 'em with our '62s. 230 00:16:34,102 --> 00:16:39,065 I'm looking down the road five, ten years. What's the public going to want then? 231 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:42,443 The same dream machines that they want right now: 232 00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:47,407 fins, chrome, flash and horsepower. 233 00:16:47,532 --> 00:16:49,409 Lots of horsepower. 234 00:16:49,534 --> 00:16:51,160 The bigger, the better. 235 00:16:51,262 --> 00:16:55,164 And wait till we put this baby on the market. 236 00:16:55,998 --> 00:17:00,086 Five-hundred cubic inches, 450 horsepower. 237 00:17:00,211 --> 00:17:02,880 Three inches wider and ten inches longer than the biggest Caddy. 238 00:17:03,005 --> 00:17:05,174 What about fuel economy? 239 00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:09,720 Miss Stormer has a point. What about it, Buddy? 240 00:17:09,846 --> 00:17:12,098 What does it get, seven miles to the gallon? 241 00:17:12,223 --> 00:17:14,600 Maybe eight. But I got that covered, Ted. 242 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:20,148 I reduced the trunk and I enlarged the gas tank. This baby will hold 40 gallons. 243 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,150 My God, what'll it cost to fill up? 244 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,319 At 30 cents a gallon, $12. 245 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:31,451 But we're not gonna try to market this model to... secretaries. 246 00:17:33,077 --> 00:17:36,164 Could I have a cup of coffee, please? Ted, coffee? 247 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,791 Yes, black. 248 00:17:41,419 --> 00:17:44,797 I like mine like my women, 249 00:17:45,339 --> 00:17:47,008 hot and sweet. 250 00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:08,571 Don't even start unless you want to eat your teeth for lunch. 251 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,706 What are you doing? 252 00:18:20,291 --> 00:18:21,918 Hot and sweet. 253 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,836 What? 254 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:29,509 I want a beer. A light beer. 255 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:31,928 I wanna make some microwave popcorn. 256 00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:34,555 I wanna sit down in front of the TV, start the VCR. 257 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,266 Oh, that time of the month, huh? 258 00:18:39,894 --> 00:18:44,357 Uh, no. I-I don't... I don't think so. 259 00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:47,777 I just... 260 00:18:49,403 --> 00:18:50,863 I just wanna go home. 261 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:54,492 That's what I wanna talk to you about. I have a huge favor to ask. 262 00:18:54,617 --> 00:18:57,912 If you do this, I promise I'll go on that double date your mother set up tomorrow. 263 00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,126 Double date? 264 00:18:59,159 --> 00:19:00,480 Buddy wants to come by the apartment tonight. 265 00:19:00,513 --> 00:19:03,960 - I thought you could go to a movie? - No. 266 00:19:04,085 --> 00:19:07,213 Please, Sam, I need some time alone with Buddy to plan our future. 267 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,383 If he's planning your future the way he's planning this company's, you're in trouble. 268 00:19:10,508 --> 00:19:12,593 What is that supposed to mean? 269 00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:15,888 Nothing. Gloria, 270 00:19:16,013 --> 00:19:18,266 I-I-I just wish you would open your eyes. 271 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,810 If Buddy wants to talk, really talk about your future, 272 00:19:20,935 --> 00:19:23,229 why does it have to be at the apartment? 273 00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,440 I'm way over 21, Sam. 274 00:19:29,944 --> 00:19:31,988 I just don't want you hurt. 275 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,574 Does that mean "Yes"? 276 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:38,286 Maybe. 277 00:20:07,481 --> 00:20:09,233 Ahhh. 278 00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:13,946 - What are you doing here? - Oh, uh... 279 00:20:14,071 --> 00:20:19,243 I-I just came home to change clothes and, uh, drop the iron maidens. 280 00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:22,079 You don't have time. Buddy'll be here any minute. 281 00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,415 Yeah, well, you know, um, 282 00:20:25,499 --> 00:20:28,878 maybe the three of us should talk about your future. 283 00:20:29,003 --> 00:20:31,297 Sam, if you want me to go on that double date... 284 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,424 with you tomorrow night, you'll get out of here now! 285 00:20:33,549 --> 00:20:35,885 About that double date. That's another thing... 286 00:20:44,935 --> 00:20:46,854 - Ha-ha! - Oh. 287 00:20:52,610 --> 00:20:56,781 Oh, uh, I didn't know that you two were roomies. 288 00:20:57,198 --> 00:21:00,034 If I were a different kind of guy... 289 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,702 You wouldn't be here. 290 00:21:03,579 --> 00:21:06,999 Samantha was just going to the movies. 291 00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,877 In those? 292 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:14,173 Yeah, I thought I might just, you know, go do a power walk in the park. 293 00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:16,676 Get a little aerobics exercise, get the old heart rate up. 294 00:21:16,801 --> 00:21:19,553 Since you're already going for a walk, would you mind taking Bubbles? 295 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:25,601 Samantha! Do it for me, please. 296 00:21:29,730 --> 00:21:32,650 Thanks, doll. See you in the morning. 297 00:21:33,484 --> 00:21:35,695 The name's Samantha. 298 00:21:55,798 --> 00:21:59,260 Personally, I prefer leaving the lights on. 299 00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:03,139 You keep that up, tiny teeth, and I'll feed ya to Ziggy. 300 00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:08,436 - A little testy tonight, aren't we? - You would be too, if... 301 00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,147 - If what? - Never mind. 302 00:22:11,272 --> 00:22:14,650 Just save Madam Butterfly up there from cashing in her cookies... 303 00:22:14,817 --> 00:22:16,736 and get back to being a guy. 304 00:22:16,861 --> 00:22:20,030 How? Gloria is convinced that Buddy's Mr. Wonderful, 305 00:22:20,156 --> 00:22:23,617 that... that he's got a witch for a wi... 306 00:22:23,826 --> 00:22:26,579 A witch for a wife and that she's his only salvation. 307 00:22:26,704 --> 00:22:29,290 Look, all women fall for that one, 308 00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:31,959 especially single girls Gloria's age. 309 00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:33,919 What does age have to do with it? 310 00:22:34,545 --> 00:22:38,758 She's 27 years old. She's fighting the biological clock. 311 00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:41,761 Those little eggs are ticking off like time bombs. 312 00:22:41,886 --> 00:22:44,847 Al, a woman can have a healthy baby into her 40s. 313 00:22:44,972 --> 00:22:47,933 I know, but people didn't realize that in 1961. 314 00:22:48,058 --> 00:22:50,311 We're talking serious old maid here. 315 00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:52,730 She's probably up there shredding newspapers right now. 316 00:22:52,855 --> 00:22:55,399 I wish that's what she was doing. 317 00:22:56,692 --> 00:22:58,360 I'm warning you! 318 00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:02,031 What is your problem? 319 00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:07,244 You! You! You... hermaphrodite, you. 320 00:23:07,369 --> 00:23:08,913 You're drivin' me crazy! 321 00:23:09,038 --> 00:23:12,249 I'm not performing with Tina, so she thinks I've got somebody on the side. 322 00:23:12,374 --> 00:23:16,629 Beeks is laying this load of repressed homosexual crap on me. 323 00:23:16,754 --> 00:23:18,714 And every time I see you, 324 00:23:18,839 --> 00:23:23,344 I've gotta deal with... this. 325 00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,889 - I'm outta here. - Well, you should get outta here. 326 00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:29,683 I can't believe that... Al, look out! 327 00:23:34,104 --> 00:23:36,607 Yeah, close the door. 328 00:23:39,193 --> 00:23:40,903 Come on, Bubbles. 329 00:23:42,404 --> 00:23:45,908 Figure that Buddy would have a dog named Bubbles. 330 00:23:48,619 --> 00:23:51,413 Come here. Come here. 331 00:23:53,207 --> 00:23:55,251 This is great, you know. 332 00:23:57,294 --> 00:23:59,296 Gloria won't listen to me. 333 00:23:59,713 --> 00:24:03,050 My best friend's got a crush on me, and I'm a woman. 334 00:24:05,261 --> 00:24:08,264 Whatever I did to deserve this... You listening to me? 335 00:24:10,975 --> 00:24:12,768 I don't deserve this. 336 00:24:21,777 --> 00:24:24,363 What a glorious morning! 337 00:24:26,740 --> 00:24:28,242 There's Peeping George. 338 00:24:28,409 --> 00:24:31,412 Don't you think you oughta put a... a robe on or... 339 00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:34,582 You're the one that's always saying we should give the little guy a thrill. 340 00:24:34,999 --> 00:24:37,459 Besides, I'm too happy today to hide anything. 341 00:24:37,626 --> 00:24:39,962 Oh, for heaven's sakes, Gloria. 342 00:24:43,924 --> 00:24:46,302 - What has gotten into you? - Nothing. 343 00:24:46,427 --> 00:24:51,765 Nothing? You never get up before noon on Saturday. You never cook. 344 00:24:51,891 --> 00:24:55,311 And I'm the one that's always pulling you away half-naked from the window. 345 00:24:58,272 --> 00:24:59,982 Did Buddy tell his wife? 346 00:25:01,317 --> 00:25:04,945 Oh, that's it. Yes. 347 00:25:06,822 --> 00:25:08,449 So he's moving out? 348 00:25:08,824 --> 00:25:10,993 Well, not yet. He and Gail decided... 349 00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:14,038 it would be easier on the children if they waited until after the holidays. 350 00:25:15,331 --> 00:25:17,750 Gloria, it's almost two months till Christmas. 351 00:25:17,958 --> 00:25:20,377 No, it's only a month till Thanksgiving. 352 00:25:20,753 --> 00:25:25,215 And then Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, then President's Day... 353 00:25:25,382 --> 00:25:27,801 President's Day? And before you know it, it's the Fourth ofJuly. 354 00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:30,123 We know that a man can't leave his wife on the Fourth ofJuly. 355 00:25:30,221 --> 00:25:32,723 It would be un-American. I'm sure they have a family barbecue, 356 00:25:32,890 --> 00:25:35,309 and I'll bet that Buddy's a whiz at lighting charcoal with... 357 00:25:35,434 --> 00:25:37,019 Stop it! Just stop it! 358 00:25:37,144 --> 00:25:40,088 Buddy said he's leaving Gail after the holidays and he will. 359 00:25:40,230 --> 00:25:43,317 - No, he won't. - What do you have, a crystal ball? 360 00:25:43,383 --> 00:25:44,718 In a way. 361 00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:48,280 It's telling me that Buddy will never leave his wife. 362 00:25:48,447 --> 00:25:50,658 Buddy is not Tony! 363 00:25:52,409 --> 00:25:53,619 Tony? 364 00:25:53,786 --> 00:25:55,829 It's not my fault Tony lied to you. 365 00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:58,040 It's not my fault Tony didn't leave his wife. 366 00:25:58,123 --> 00:25:59,500 So don't try and spoil it for me... 367 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:02,378 just because of what happened to you two years ago! 368 00:26:29,655 --> 00:26:31,365 I'm sorry. 369 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,870 So am I. 370 00:26:37,287 --> 00:26:40,541 I shouldn't have brought up Tony. It was a mean thing to do. 371 00:26:40,708 --> 00:26:42,126 No. 372 00:26:42,876 --> 00:26:48,048 Now and then I... need reminding about things like that. 373 00:26:48,215 --> 00:26:51,176 Sam, please give Buddy a chance. 374 00:26:51,301 --> 00:26:53,846 Try and see it from my point of view. 375 00:26:59,977 --> 00:27:01,520 I'll try. 376 00:27:06,150 --> 00:27:10,654 I'll tell you what. Uh, it's a b-beautiful day. 377 00:27:10,821 --> 00:27:14,491 Um, how about brunch? 378 00:27:15,325 --> 00:27:17,661 At the Pump Room. Then we'll go shopping at Horne's. 379 00:27:17,828 --> 00:27:19,496 I didn't say anything about shopping. 380 00:27:19,621 --> 00:27:22,249 A blind date is the perfect excuse for a new dress. 381 00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:24,376 I bet your mother'll even reimburse you. 382 00:27:24,501 --> 00:27:26,211 I've been thinking about backing out of tonight. 383 00:27:26,336 --> 00:27:29,715 Oh, no way! Your mom would kill you and me both. 384 00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:32,301 We'll find a gorgeous new dress, 385 00:27:32,426 --> 00:27:35,596 and then we'll splurge at the Pink Door on a new hairdo. 386 00:27:35,721 --> 00:27:38,057 It'll be the perfect girl's day! 387 00:27:43,353 --> 00:27:47,191 When your mother told me she had this beautiful daughter living in Detroit, 388 00:27:47,316 --> 00:27:49,276 I thought she was exaggerating. 389 00:27:49,443 --> 00:27:53,655 Mothers have a way of doing that, but not yours. 390 00:27:53,781 --> 00:27:56,617 If anything, she understated. 391 00:27:56,825 --> 00:27:59,828 You are gorgeous. 392 00:28:02,372 --> 00:28:04,625 - Thank you. - Dick, 393 00:28:04,750 --> 00:28:07,169 I think you're embarrassing Miss Stormer. 394 00:28:07,336 --> 00:28:10,005 What woman doesn't like being told how gorgeous she is? 395 00:28:10,130 --> 00:28:11,590 Me. 396 00:28:12,132 --> 00:28:15,427 - Are you in the automotive industry? - Washers. 397 00:28:15,552 --> 00:28:19,765 - Clothing washers? - No. Little rubber circles. 398 00:28:19,890 --> 00:28:23,227 We make them in 786 sizes out of 31 different materials. 399 00:28:23,352 --> 00:28:25,187 Everything from paper to plastic. 400 00:28:25,312 --> 00:28:28,899 You'll find our washers in every car manufactured in Detroit. 401 00:28:31,401 --> 00:28:33,028 That's fascinating. 402 00:28:33,278 --> 00:28:36,907 Please, don't encourage him. He'll bore you to death. 403 00:28:37,407 --> 00:28:38,992 I can't imagine. 404 00:28:39,159 --> 00:28:41,703 See? You've been out of the circuit too long. 405 00:28:41,870 --> 00:28:45,707 He was married at 19, and after 20 years, she split on him. 406 00:28:46,041 --> 00:28:51,130 My wife... ex-wife... Had other ideas about... 407 00:28:51,255 --> 00:28:53,799 what she thought her life should be like. 408 00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,969 And I wasn't included. 409 00:28:57,511 --> 00:29:01,557 Drop the violins. This is a night for the future. 410 00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:04,643 Isn't that right, sweetheart? 411 00:29:22,161 --> 00:29:25,664 I have to go... to the ladies room. 412 00:29:26,206 --> 00:29:28,542 - I'll come with you. - No. 413 00:29:28,876 --> 00:29:30,752 I'd rather go by myself. 414 00:29:41,221 --> 00:29:44,933 Feisty little wench, but I like that. 415 00:29:48,812 --> 00:29:50,647 Calling somebody we know? 416 00:29:50,772 --> 00:29:54,276 You. So we can talk, and I won't look like a lunatic. Where have you been? 417 00:29:55,235 --> 00:29:57,112 I've been with Beeks. 418 00:29:57,279 --> 00:30:00,282 She says I'm gonna need five years of analysis... 419 00:30:00,407 --> 00:30:04,119 before I'll be able to deal with you as a... a woman. 420 00:30:04,244 --> 00:30:05,996 I'm not a woman! 421 00:30:07,164 --> 00:30:10,709 That's what I keep telling myself. 422 00:30:10,834 --> 00:30:12,836 Al, I'm ruining Samantha's life. 423 00:30:12,961 --> 00:30:16,381 I just slugged her date with my purse for grabbing my knee. 424 00:30:16,590 --> 00:30:20,135 He grabbed... That dirty dog. 425 00:30:20,260 --> 00:30:23,388 Would you stop that? When am I gonna get outta here? 426 00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:26,975 When you stop Gloria from committing suicide. 427 00:30:27,100 --> 00:30:29,895 - Which is? - Tonight. 428 00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,567 I didn't really think that talking to a woman after all these years... 429 00:30:35,692 --> 00:30:38,362 would be so easy, so comfortable. 430 00:30:38,487 --> 00:30:40,781 Some of it has to do with being lucky enough 431 00:30:40,906 --> 00:30:43,057 to find a woman with your sensitivity. 432 00:30:43,144 --> 00:30:47,079 I wasn't going to go out on this date. Ever since Edith asked me to move out, 433 00:30:47,162 --> 00:30:51,124 I've locked myself away in my tiny apartment, angry at the world. 434 00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:53,001 Tonight I don't feel angry at all. 435 00:30:53,168 --> 00:30:55,504 That's because of you, Gloria. I'm glad I came. 436 00:30:55,712 --> 00:30:58,215 I just wanted you to know that. I was wondering if... 437 00:30:58,340 --> 00:31:01,969 - Would you excuse me for a moment? - Sure. 438 00:31:05,055 --> 00:31:08,600 Big guy, I think we got us a couple of hot ones. 439 00:31:16,566 --> 00:31:19,194 - Mrs. Wright? - Yes? 440 00:31:19,319 --> 00:31:22,823 We haven't met. My name is Gloria. 441 00:31:22,948 --> 00:31:24,616 Gloria Collins. 442 00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:28,370 Oh, yes. Mrs. Davenport is sponsoring you into theJunior League. 443 00:31:28,537 --> 00:31:31,623 No. Buddy's Gloria. 444 00:31:32,082 --> 00:31:35,627 - His new secretary? - No. 445 00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:38,380 I just wanted you to tell you that I know how difficult... 446 00:31:38,547 --> 00:31:40,674 it's going to be going through the divorce. 447 00:31:40,799 --> 00:31:44,637 And I'm going to do everything I can to make it easier on the children. 448 00:31:45,220 --> 00:31:48,015 Sit down, Miss... Collins? 449 00:31:50,726 --> 00:31:54,813 I'm going to try to do this as gracefully as possible. 450 00:31:58,191 --> 00:32:00,777 Buddy and I have an arrangement. 451 00:32:00,902 --> 00:32:04,197 He has his personal life, and I have mine. 452 00:32:04,323 --> 00:32:08,035 Now, whatever lies my husband has obviously told you, 453 00:32:08,452 --> 00:32:10,620 he will never divorce me. 454 00:32:10,746 --> 00:32:13,498 Buddy is far too egotistical to give up the status... 455 00:32:13,623 --> 00:32:16,001 he acquired when he married me. 456 00:32:16,293 --> 00:32:20,797 And if he ever tries, I will strip him to his shorts. 457 00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:25,927 My advice to you, dear, is to quietly close your hope chest on this one, 458 00:32:26,053 --> 00:32:28,430 and try someone else's husband. 459 00:32:28,889 --> 00:32:33,518 Good-bye, Miss Collins. You will forgive me if I don't shake your hand. 460 00:32:37,481 --> 00:32:39,983 What happens tonight that sends her over the deep end? 461 00:32:40,108 --> 00:32:43,070 There's no data on that. All we know... 462 00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:46,198 is that on October 16, 1961, 463 00:32:46,323 --> 00:32:48,658 Gloria Collins committed suicide by... 464 00:32:48,784 --> 00:32:50,118 Samantha! 465 00:32:51,328 --> 00:32:54,206 - Bye, Mom. - Gloria left. 466 00:32:54,331 --> 00:32:55,999 - What? - I don't know what happened. 467 00:32:56,083 --> 00:33:00,462 We were talking. She excused herself and went to this table in the next room. 468 00:33:00,587 --> 00:33:03,965 She was talking to a rather attractive woman, 469 00:33:04,091 --> 00:33:08,053 and after a minute or so, Gloria got very upset and she ran out. 470 00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:15,018 - Do you know them? - Unfortunately. 471 00:33:15,143 --> 00:33:17,938 This is it, Sam. Hari-kari time. 472 00:33:18,397 --> 00:33:21,483 - Is there anything I can do? - Pray. 473 00:33:58,478 --> 00:34:01,606 Gloria, it's Sam. I'm comin' out. 474 00:34:03,692 --> 00:34:05,944 I just wanna talk to you. Go away. 475 00:34:06,069 --> 00:34:09,948 - I can't. You're my friend. - Then let me do this. It's my choice. 476 00:34:10,073 --> 00:34:13,577 - Suicide is not a choice. - Neither is living. 477 00:34:13,702 --> 00:34:17,998 - Why not? - I love him, Sam. 478 00:34:18,790 --> 00:34:22,878 Even realizing what a fool he made of me, I still love him. 479 00:34:23,253 --> 00:34:25,964 I can't pretend I don't. 480 00:34:26,590 --> 00:34:31,219 I can't pretend the pain I feel isn't real, and it'll go away tomorrow. 481 00:34:31,308 --> 00:34:33,310 Suicide won't change that. 482 00:34:33,897 --> 00:34:35,807 It'll end it. 483 00:34:36,558 --> 00:34:40,854 So will time. Only, it'll give you a second chance. 484 00:34:40,979 --> 00:34:43,732 You're not the first woman to love the wrong man. 485 00:34:43,857 --> 00:34:45,984 It doesn't matter anymore. 486 00:34:46,109 --> 00:34:49,821 Gloria, Buddy's not worth dying over! 487 00:34:55,660 --> 00:34:57,704 Is that what I'm doing? 488 00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,414 That's what he'll think. 489 00:34:59,831 --> 00:35:04,586 And he'll be right. He'll think you're killing yourself over him. 490 00:35:04,753 --> 00:35:07,464 - Do you want to give him that? - No. 491 00:35:09,925 --> 00:35:11,551 Give me your hand. 492 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,059 Come on, now. Nice and slow. 493 00:35:19,226 --> 00:35:21,394 - Oh. - Easy. 494 00:35:22,103 --> 00:35:23,702 Aaah! 495 00:35:24,439 --> 00:35:26,608 It's all right. It's all right. 496 00:35:33,323 --> 00:35:34,824 Sam! 497 00:35:39,246 --> 00:35:41,414 - Kick your shoes off! - I can't! 498 00:35:41,623 --> 00:35:43,458 Grab my leg and kick 'em off. 499 00:35:46,419 --> 00:35:48,004 That's it. 500 00:35:48,129 --> 00:35:49,839 - Don't look down! - Oh, my God! 501 00:35:49,965 --> 00:35:51,508 Look at me! 502 00:35:51,841 --> 00:35:55,929 Put your left foot toward me. Slide it real easy. 503 00:35:58,612 --> 00:36:00,016 Aren't you gonna... 504 00:36:00,183 --> 00:36:02,602 - Keep comin'. Crawl over me. - No! 505 00:36:02,727 --> 00:36:05,313 It's the only way. Just do it. 506 00:36:14,656 --> 00:36:16,241 Hang on! 507 00:36:17,659 --> 00:36:20,537 Ah. Ah. 508 00:36:27,961 --> 00:36:29,879 Grab my arm! 509 00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:31,840 Hold on! 510 00:36:32,132 --> 00:36:33,883 I've got you! 511 00:36:47,397 --> 00:36:49,399 I made you some warm milk. 512 00:36:55,530 --> 00:36:59,242 My mom used to bring me warm milk on rainy nights. 513 00:37:00,243 --> 00:37:02,245 Moms know best. 514 00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:07,208 I don't know about that, Sam. 515 00:37:09,085 --> 00:37:11,296 She used to tell me that... 516 00:37:11,755 --> 00:37:14,883 someday a Prince Charming would come along, 517 00:37:15,508 --> 00:37:19,846 and we'd get married and buy a beautiful house... 518 00:37:21,306 --> 00:37:23,475 and have a couple of kids. 519 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,771 She really blew that one. 520 00:37:29,230 --> 00:37:31,399 You're not exactly an old maid. 521 00:37:33,276 --> 00:37:35,570 It's not gonna happen for me. 522 00:37:36,655 --> 00:37:41,284 I've been waiting for nine years, and it's just not gonna happen. 523 00:37:42,285 --> 00:37:44,120 Is that what you've been waiting for? 524 00:37:44,371 --> 00:37:46,706 For a man to come and take you away? 525 00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,627 Why do you think I'm in the secretarial pool? 526 00:37:51,670 --> 00:37:53,755 I thought it was because you enjoyed what you were doing. 527 00:37:53,922 --> 00:37:55,340 I hate it. 528 00:37:55,590 --> 00:37:59,094 But that's the only place you can meet eligible guys. 529 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,179 Like Buddy? 530 00:38:04,099 --> 00:38:08,603 Gloria, you can't use your job as an excuse to meet guys. 531 00:38:09,479 --> 00:38:12,857 I can't spend the next 30 years in the secretarial pool either. 532 00:38:12,982 --> 00:38:14,234 Then get out. 533 00:38:14,342 --> 00:38:16,344 - And do what? - Whatever you want. 534 00:38:17,445 --> 00:38:19,948 I... I want... 535 00:38:21,241 --> 00:38:25,412 - What? - I want to design cars. 536 00:38:25,578 --> 00:38:28,456 - Then do it. - Right. 537 00:38:28,748 --> 00:38:31,292 I'm gonna go into the office Monday morning and say, 538 00:38:31,459 --> 00:38:33,670 "Excuse me, but I have an art degree 539 00:38:33,795 --> 00:38:36,280 "and that qualifies me for the design program." 540 00:38:36,381 --> 00:38:38,633 - Why not? - Because. 541 00:38:38,758 --> 00:38:41,219 There's never been a woman in the program. 542 00:38:42,095 --> 00:38:43,763 Well, then, 543 00:38:45,765 --> 00:38:47,767 you'll have to be the first. 544 00:38:47,934 --> 00:38:50,353 Do you know how hard that would be? 545 00:38:51,813 --> 00:38:56,067 Yeah, I think I do. And you know what? 546 00:38:56,776 --> 00:38:59,863 You're gonna have to be twice as good just to be considered an equal. 547 00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:04,075 I don't know if I can do that, Sam. 548 00:39:05,493 --> 00:39:08,329 I don't know either, but you gotta try. 549 00:39:09,038 --> 00:39:12,500 You have got to be what makes you feel good about yourself. 550 00:39:12,625 --> 00:39:14,335 And then what? 551 00:39:14,753 --> 00:39:17,422 And then maybe you'll like you. 552 00:39:18,923 --> 00:39:21,426 Because if you don't like yourself, Gloria, 553 00:39:22,552 --> 00:39:24,471 no one else will either. 554 00:39:25,722 --> 00:39:30,560 Except guys like Buddy, and you're not that desperate. 555 00:39:34,355 --> 00:39:36,316 I was tonight. 556 00:39:39,319 --> 00:39:41,112 Thank you. 557 00:39:44,491 --> 00:39:47,035 Oh, I hope when the right guy finds you, 558 00:39:47,140 --> 00:39:50,397 he realizes what a good woman you are. 559 00:39:57,212 --> 00:39:59,172 Why don't you get some rest? 560 00:39:59,798 --> 00:40:01,674 Good night, Sam. 561 00:40:08,264 --> 00:40:09,974 Good night. 562 00:40:35,583 --> 00:40:37,836 - Ah! - Hi, cutie. 563 00:40:37,961 --> 00:40:40,088 You look great in powder blue. 564 00:40:40,380 --> 00:40:43,925 I'm gonna put a bell around your neck. Where were you? 565 00:40:44,050 --> 00:40:45,760 I was with Tina. 566 00:40:47,387 --> 00:40:50,890 I thought you were having problems with Tina. 567 00:40:51,391 --> 00:40:53,893 I was but Beeks fixed that. 568 00:40:54,185 --> 00:40:57,939 She got me to accept you're my best friend, and love is part of friendship. 569 00:40:58,106 --> 00:41:02,735 Once I believed that, I took Tina up to a little cabin in the mountains and... 570 00:41:02,861 --> 00:41:04,821 - Well, you know. - Yeah. 571 00:41:06,489 --> 00:41:07,991 I know. 572 00:41:09,909 --> 00:41:11,619 We ever gonna be the same? 573 00:41:11,744 --> 00:41:13,454 Course we are, as soon as you leap. 574 00:41:13,538 --> 00:41:15,290 Why haven't I leaped? 575 00:41:16,499 --> 00:41:18,626 Gloria's not gonna try again, is she? 576 00:41:18,877 --> 00:41:22,961 Uh, no, no, no. She's gonna marry, uh, Parker. 577 00:41:23,506 --> 00:41:25,425 The little guy? The guy she met tonight? 578 00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:28,428 Yeah. They're gonna have a couple of kids. 579 00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:31,806 They're gonna move to California. They're gonna raise avocados. 580 00:41:31,931 --> 00:41:34,684 I thought I started women's lib. Hmph. 581 00:41:34,888 --> 00:41:37,099 Well, you did in a way. 582 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:42,317 Gloria talked Samantha into joining the design program with her. 583 00:41:42,442 --> 00:41:44,944 It turned out Samantha had the real talent. 584 00:41:45,069 --> 00:41:47,488 She ended up heading the entire division. 585 00:41:47,655 --> 00:41:50,825 Oh, and get this. She adopted a little girl... 586 00:41:50,950 --> 00:41:54,370 and started one of the first organizations for single parents in the country. 587 00:41:54,537 --> 00:41:58,374 - She never married? - No. What a waste. 588 00:42:00,376 --> 00:42:02,253 I'm really confused now, Al. 589 00:42:02,837 --> 00:42:06,424 If Gloria's okay and Samantha's emancipated, why haven't I leaped? 590 00:42:06,549 --> 00:42:09,302 Ziggy has a fascinating theory about that. 591 00:42:10,345 --> 00:42:12,597 He says you want to get even with Buddy... 592 00:42:12,722 --> 00:42:16,100 for chasin' you around the office and makin' you wear lipstick. 593 00:42:16,351 --> 00:42:20,939 Revenge? Oh, come on. I'm not leaping because I want revenge? 594 00:42:21,064 --> 00:42:23,358 Very... female. 595 00:42:30,198 --> 00:42:33,701 Al was right. I wanted revenge. 596 00:42:34,202 --> 00:42:37,455 So I slipped into Samantha's spiked heels, 597 00:42:37,580 --> 00:42:43,127 put on the most revealing dress I could get my... hairy chest into, 598 00:42:43,252 --> 00:42:49,008 and was ready to give Buddy a lesson in sexual harassment he'd never forget. 599 00:42:57,517 --> 00:42:59,143 You wanted me? 600 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,107 How's Gloria? 601 00:43:04,691 --> 00:43:08,820 In Ann Arbor, visiting her mother for a few days. 602 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,407 You know, she gave me quite a little upset Saturday night. 603 00:43:12,532 --> 00:43:16,619 Well, that's because Gloria doesn't know how to play the game. 604 00:43:17,996 --> 00:43:19,998 And you do? 605 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,837 What do you think? 606 00:43:38,391 --> 00:43:40,435 I knew it all along. 607 00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:43,479 Yeah. 608 00:43:44,063 --> 00:43:48,526 I had you figured from the start. I did. 609 00:43:48,651 --> 00:43:54,699 All of that playing hard to get in the secretarial pool... 610 00:43:55,700 --> 00:43:59,203 didn't have me fooled for one second. 611 00:44:02,165 --> 00:44:05,209 - It didn't? - Nope. 612 00:44:05,501 --> 00:44:10,381 You were just waiting for the, uh, "Wright" man. 613 00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:13,968 Was I? 614 00:44:17,388 --> 00:44:21,601 All that coy, "Oh, I don't date married men." 615 00:44:21,726 --> 00:44:24,520 That was just a smoke screen. 616 00:44:24,562 --> 00:44:26,272 Right, baby? 617 00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:31,152 You know me so well. 618 00:44:33,905 --> 00:44:35,740 Buddy, 619 00:44:36,699 --> 00:44:38,326 there's, um... 620 00:44:38,868 --> 00:44:42,455 There's just one thing you don't know. 621 00:44:42,789 --> 00:44:44,749 Tell me, baby. 622 00:44:46,709 --> 00:44:48,336 I'm a man. 623 00:44:50,338 --> 00:44:53,132 - What? - I'm a man, 624 00:44:53,883 --> 00:44:58,471 a male, a person of the masculine gender. 625 00:45:00,890 --> 00:45:02,642 What are you talking about? 626 00:45:03,768 --> 00:45:07,105 You're trying to make it with a man. 627 00:45:13,861 --> 00:45:17,198 No way. Not with this body. 628 00:45:17,323 --> 00:45:19,450 Bodies can be deceiving. 629 00:45:21,828 --> 00:45:24,205 You can't be a man! 630 00:45:24,330 --> 00:45:26,290 Why, because I turn you on? 631 00:45:26,499 --> 00:45:29,794 W... Yeah. Um, ah... 632 00:45:30,753 --> 00:45:33,506 I-I-I mean, no! 633 00:45:33,631 --> 00:45:36,801 No. Oh, no! I... I, uh... 634 00:45:36,926 --> 00:45:40,422 You, you were a, uh... You mean you had a... 635 00:45:40,474 --> 00:45:43,558 Y-You did a Christine Jorgensen? 636 00:45:43,683 --> 00:45:46,018 No, no. I didn't say I used to be a man. 637 00:45:46,144 --> 00:45:48,563 I said... I am a man. 638 00:45:51,190 --> 00:45:52,608 And I'll prove it to you. 639 00:45:52,692 --> 00:45:54,277 No! 640 00:45:56,028 --> 00:46:01,576 If you look closely, you'll notice that I walk like a man. 641 00:46:01,701 --> 00:46:03,744 I stand like a man. 642 00:46:03,870 --> 00:46:05,955 And I know things that only a man can know. 643 00:46:05,997 --> 00:46:08,624 Like what it feels like to get kicked in the crotch, 644 00:46:08,708 --> 00:46:11,752 how the pain just keeps growing and growing. 645 00:46:11,836 --> 00:46:14,839 And then that wonderful sensation when it finally subsides. 646 00:46:14,922 --> 00:46:18,509 Or what it's like to walk around high school with your books in front of you... 647 00:46:18,593 --> 00:46:22,805 to cover up an embarrassing case of pubescent hormonal overload. 648 00:46:22,972 --> 00:46:24,932 You had a brother? 649 00:46:25,016 --> 00:46:28,853 Does a brother tell his sister what he did looking at his first centerfold? 650 00:46:32,106 --> 00:46:33,816 No, you stay away from me. 651 00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:35,693 I thought I turned you on. 652 00:46:37,570 --> 00:46:40,656 I don't have time for this stupid game. 653 00:46:40,907 --> 00:46:44,619 Speaking of games, why don't I show you how I throw a baseball. 654 00:46:50,041 --> 00:46:53,920 Or better yet, how I throw a punch. 655 00:47:06,349 --> 00:47:08,517 Not yet. Not yet. 656 00:47:15,608 --> 00:47:17,735 I'm ready to leap now. 657 00:47:35,086 --> 00:47:36,712 Oh, boy. 51795

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