Original subtitles

Rheumatic.

my heart and my dick.

Oh my god.

Fuck.

Oh my god.

What is happening?

I just really won't do anything bad again. Just let this pain go away.

Why is it that I'm having heart palpitations or what?

My balls are hurting.

I don't know what it is.

don't mind me struggle is real

You look good.

out here?

No, but you're a pie.

And I'm a delicious one.

Why don't you have a little taste?

Come on. Yeah,

I do.

Oh, wow.

That's right.

Oh.

You don't feel like a pie.

Pussy.

What are you waiting for?

You know what?

What am I waiting for? Give me a little bit of that nut.

Yes.

It looks like you're fucking my pie.

No, I did not.

What are you doing then? It fell off the side here and I caught it. I was

walking by.

Okay,

well, let's put it back in the fridge, please. It's for Thanksgiving dinner.

Okay.

You smushed it.

I caught it.

No, you smushed it. Now I have to make another one.

You know, sweetie, what is going on with this? Like, that donut November thing

that you're doing, it's just not healthy.

It's just, like, it's really not something you should be doing.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You do know what I'm talking about. I know you're doing that donut.

And for a boy your age, it's just not healthy to do.

Isn't your girlfriend coming over tonight for Thanksgiving dinner?

Yes, she is.

You make such a move. Michael's not coming, too.

Yeah.

Yes.

You know what?

I think I know what will help you with this No Nut November nonsense.

Why don't you go shower and clean up your dick?

Okay? Yeah.

Where is he?

Oliver, are you almost ready? Getting cleaned up?

Yeah.

I just don't know if I'm going to have everything ready in an hour.

I mean, Oliver's girlfriend's a vegetarian.

On Thanksgiving.

Like, who's a vegetarian on Thanksgiving?

So how long are you going to be home from college?

I feel like your dad will want you gone in a few days.

Don't you think?

Probably.

Oliver!

Okay, great. I need you to help me with some stuff for your girlfriend.

You said she's not a vegetarian, so of course I have to make an extra dish for

her.

Okay, good. Watch this.

It's the best way to take your mind off that no, not November thing. You know, I

used to have really perverted thoughts, too, when I was your age.

But I started cleaning, doing chores, cooking, and it kind of fixes all of

You just get really into it. You don't even notice anything that's happening

around you.

Yeah.

Of course.

Of course.

But, yeah, it is about preparing, right? Yeah.

That's neat.

turkey, right? She's not going to eat any of the stuffing.

She's just going to eat fruit and... I think she's going to bring some stuff,

too.

Oh, she's bringing stuff? We didn't talk about that.

I always put that on. I know,

but she's like kind of special, right?

I mean, if you think about it, she doesn't really eat what we eat.

She's pretty great, though.

I guess so. I just think that it's a little, you know...

A little strange to not eat turkey on Thanksgiving, that's all.

I mean, what does your dad think about this? I mean, I don't think he'd be that

pleased about, you know, extra dishes on the table. You know, he has a clutter.

Yeah, but maybe it's something that we could try. Can you wash some of these

strawberries for me?

That's good, that's good.

I mean... And so her B card, so you're dating a virgin, Oliver.

No wonder you can't nut in November.

That's so silly.

No, she definitely is not a virgin.

Her vegetarian card.

What? Yeah, her vegetarian card. She said that I could probably get one too.

So you're saying you want to convert to vegetarianism?

I mean... I don't think your dad's going to be that happy about that. You know

Thanksgiving's his favorite holiday.

I understand, but maybe everyone could give it a try.

I mean, I'm already making a fruit salad.

How much more trying do you want us to do?

Yummy, yummy. It's so good.

Fruit salads are great.

Yeah.

But I think you're doing a great job.

Oh,

I heard my name. I heard my name.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She'll like whatever you give her.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's perfect.

Okay.

I'll tell her.

Yeah, I'll tell her.

And don't forget to pick up some wine.

I love you too, sweetie.

Why would we hire a mate? That seems like a waste of money when they're two

perfectly grown.

Your father wouldn't be down for that.

I mean, I bet you if we got him a hot one.

Right? Like the temperature.

Yeah.

It's not even that bad.

Some of our brick houses are pretty.

I know, but...

I mean, your girlfriend is coming over for our first Thanksgiving together as a

family, and I just want it to be perfect. I want to be able to clean and

the place just look perfect.

Yeah, putting that motherly touch into it.

Well, I am your stepmom after all, to have mom in it, doesn't it?

We were all helping. We all help.

I don't think Dick is going to help.

Yeah, I know. You just got there and ate them. By the way, did you eat all those

apples? Well, no, no.

There's a little bit left.

There better be.

There's grapes, too. That's the apples.

Apples are one of her favorites, too.

Okay, we'll make sure we have apples. I think your dad was picking up some more

apples on the way back from the store.

Yeah. Yeah.

There's a spot right there.

Get up and click this.

What? Right there. You don't see that giant dust mite?

I'm useless to his face.

He's helping.

If you call that helping.

Hmm. No, not there.

There. That whole thing there.

That's his butt I was talking about.

I hope that doesn't take too long, though.

I mean, he said he was at the store when I was on the phone with him.

So I'm sure he won't take too long, especially with me having to bake a

new pie.

You know, I really hope your girlfriend appreciates the effort we're putting

into having her first Thanksgiving with us.

I think she will.

She's pretty understanding.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, I hope that, you know, your father and I like her.

I know Dad will.

Dad loves everybody.

Oh, yeah.

That's true. He does love everybody, doesn't he? He's such a nice guy.

Does your girlfriend have big boobs?

Oh yeah, does she have big boobs?

Um, yeah, they're pretty big. Yeah?

Are they bigger than mine?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh. Yeah, I think they're like, she's like triple D's, honestly.

Oh, wow, that's massive.

Yeah.

So again, your dad texted him.

Did he, if he got into the story, I think on his way back.

Is he there?

It's not going through.

Okay, well, make it go through.

Restart your phone if you have to.

Yeah, he's on his way.

All right, well, if you're not doing anything, just go back to cleaning.

Oh, okay.