Original subtitles

What are you doing here?

I didn't think you'd be here.

Yeah, I just decided to stay home.

Well, I thought you were supposed to be with Amanda.

Yeah. Yeah, we were going to hang out, but then I told her to... I didn't feel

like hanging out.

Why?

I thought you were looking for a girlfriend. Man, you're never going to

girlfriend if you don't go on these dates.

We went on, like, two dates.

Okay. I just, I don't think the, I don't think it's going to work out with her.

Why?

What's wrong with this one?

She, she chews her food, like, really loud.

No, like, I mean, like, loud. Like, you know, it's, like, it's weird.

That's the only thing. Like, I remember you showed me a picture of her. She was

cute. That's literally the only thing. She's cute, but then, like, her butt was

also kind of, like, a little flat.

Oh, my gosh. Well, what about the girl before her? Like, she seemed pretty

Yeah, yeah, she was cool.

So, why aren't you with, like, any of these girls? They all seem gorgeous.

you're too nitpicky and like as a girl like i'm over here thinking that's crazy

like i don't understand what i'm not being nitpicky i'm just like

i just you know i'm not gonna i want a girlfriend really bad but like they need

to meet basic requirements like like the stuff i like oh my gosh

with that attitude I don't know if you'll ever find a girlfriend. I just

You're my stepsister. You don't fucking, you don't know.

You don't know anything.

I do know. I know a lot, actually.

No. Yes.

I mean, you hook up with all different kinds of guys all the time.

Yeah, that's why I'm an expert.

Well, those, yeah, but those guys probably aren't trying to look for,

girlfriend.

They are, but let me tell you, they're definitely not as nitpicky as you.

You're definitely going to have to find a way to really get through with these

girls because I can't with you. I really can't. I mean, like, I don't think it's

that weird. I mean, like, the last girl, like, Sarah, I mean, she was, like,

kind of hot. But then, like, she, you know, like, she was,

she wanted to watch, like, TLC shows. Like, the, you know, like, those

reality, like, the really, like, cringy, like.

Yeah. You know, like the really big people and stuff.

I'm like, that's weird.

Oh, my gosh.

You can definitely find a girlfriend if you just stop being picky.

You look good. You can find one. Just stop being so picky.

Jesus.

I'm not. I don't even think I'm being picky. I'm just like, I just, whatever.

I can't with you.

Well, good luck because I don't know.

How to help you at this point?

I don't need your help.

I'll find, like, a girlfriend. I'm just... Don't worry about me.

Okay. Well, good luck with that.

Guess what?

What are you doing in my room?

No, I got to tell you something. Get out of here.

No, stop. I need to tell you something. Why? What do you want? I was meditating.

Shut up.

Are you serious?

No. Well, what I'm going to tell you is way more important than meditating,

okay?

So, I don't know if you remember my friend Lily, but she's really into

you.

I'm very, very into you.

And so, I worked my magic, and she'd love to go on a date.

Uh, yeah, I mean, she's, uh, yeah, she's cute.

What do you mean she's just cute? She's so fucking hot.

Yeah, I mean, she's, she's pretty good.

So, you'll go on a date with her? I guess I would, yeah?

Uh, probably not.

Why?

I don't, I don't really like black girls like that.

Shut up. Yes, you do.

No, I don't think that I do.

I just don't think that's my thing.

Well, have you even been with a black girl before?

No.

Exactly. That's your problem right there. I mean, she's really fucking hot.

Yeah, she's okay. I just don't think, like... I just don't think that's, like,

my thing, you know?

I mean... And she, like, looks just... Like, you guys look almost the same,

like... Well... It'd be like if I was, like... I'm trying to date my

It'd be, like, weird.

Well, come on. I already know that you think I'm hot and she's way hotter than

me, so it shouldn't be a problem at all.

I just, I don't think that's, like, my thing. I don't know.

I highly doubt that. Like, if I wanted to, I could give you, like, a boner,

like, right now.

It'd be easy like that.

No, you couldn't.

Yes, I could. You want to bet?

No,

I bet I can give you a boner.

Yes, I could. See, watch this.

What are you doing?

I bet it could happen in literally less than three seconds.

I'm serious.

See, I already feel you getting hard.

You're not going to give me a boner anyway.

I know. I can really feel it.

I can already feel it. Don't mess around. I can feel it. Stop.

Come on. I can feel it. No, you can't. Okay, get off. Yes, I can. Oh, my God.

You're hard.

I'm not.

Yes, you are. That's my leg.

Stop. That is not your leg.

Let's see then.

I'm not. I don't have a woman.

Let's see.

Oh.

My God, yes, you do.

It only took, like, what, ten seconds?

That was an accident.

No, it wasn't. You think I'm hot.

You think I'm hot. Well, that just doesn't mean I think you're hot.

Yes, that's what it literally means.

Okay, well, maybe I do, okay?

So does that mean you'll go out with my friend?

Yeah, okay, I will.

Wow.

You know, for an asshole, a really dumb asshole, you have a nice dick.

Thanks.

What are you doing?

Well, I mean, your dick's already out.

Well,

I don't want to have just got you hurt for nothing Yeah,

we should you want me to stop no

I don't know what I was thinking.

wear like a condom or something?

You're thinking too much.

Did you like that?

Are you sure you still want me to take your friend on a date?

Yes. If you like to with me, I think I'll like you better.

Okay, cool. And she'll have a good time, too.