Original subtitles

the noble Giacomo Casanova arrives in Paris.

Like other noble gentlemen, he is invited to the king's palace for the

grand ball.

There he meets the sensual Lady Angie, and she agrees to a date.

Colonel Zetsky loves Lady Angie.

She despises him.

So the cruel colonel, being Europe's best swordsman, challenges a duel to

man that dares to get close to Lady Angie and kills them.

Casanova knows some Italian fencing, attacking on the right and a left

that Zetsky did not expect.

So Casanova gets his date.

So who is it, I'm quite sure?

Casanova, you rogue. If you were good enough for Colonel Setsky, you'll be

enough for the three of us.

Unguard!

You're very young.

Perhaps worth saving.

We shall see how bad your wound is.

Are you strange?

You're a girl.

I live like a man. I shall die like one.

You shall not die like anything while I am here.

Find me a doctor.

I'll reward you handsomely. Yes, there's one down the road. Make yourself

comfortable.

Hurry.

Are you the doctor?

Yes, I am. Please hurry.

How badly is she?

Bad.

Just how bad is bad?

Well, I can tell that her heart and her lungs haven't been damaged.

But what other vital organs might have been compromised, I don't know.

What's your prognosis, Doctor?

Make her laugh moments as happy as possible.

Is there anything you can do?

I'll adjust the wound.

Well, that's all I can do sir You've done as much as anyone could I suppose

Thank you very generous

Oh, I'll see my way

I think all we can do now is wait and hope.

You know, many years ago, I knew a girl who looked just like you. Her name

was... Myra.

You deflowered her when she was 16.

Myra, it's you.

Yes. Oh, as I remember, you had the most magnificent body human eyes I'd ever

seen.

I still do.

Peace.

Remember what the doctor said to make my last moments happy.

Thank you.

I'm so excited.

Fuck me. I want to die.

Well, that's it

She's

done

No, she isn't.

How do you know?

I know these things. I'm a gypsy.

Would you like to fart?

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

And the gypsy girl was right.

The girl not only lived, but gave Casanova a son that was adopted by a

-known Spanish noble, El Conde de la Riva, and became Europe's greatest

Don Juan.

Okay, okay, okay.

That's enough.

Congratulations.

You have held your ground very well against the two of us. Thank you.

Big improvement.

Why don't we go inside and check?

I have a message for your son from the Count de Leon.

Well, he's 21 now.

Give it to him.

And here you are.

Thank you.

You're welcome, sir.

And good day, gentlemen. I do have business to attend to in town.

The servant would be taking care of your fee, and also he will see you out.

Thank you so very much for today. You're quite welcome. Good day, gentlemen.

Juan, the time has come for me to reveal to you a very important secret.

What's that?

First, let me congratulate you on your sortmanship.

You can defend yourself very well against anybody in Europe.

Thank you. Then I can relax.

Not that you want to stay alive.

The secret is, you know that you are an adopted son.

Yes? Your real father is Giacomo Casanova.

Oh, so I'm a noble blood after all. Of course you are.

And now that you are 21, I have a gift for you from him.

His perfume.

He uses every time, especially on his correspondence.

Thank you.

Don Juan was wearing the cologne on his way to meet the Count de Leon in Paris.

On the first day of the trip he decided to make a stop and visit some friends.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Mom. Mom.

Oh. Oh.

On the second day of this unforgettable journey, Don Juan decided to make a

second stop.

Let me turn around.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

On the afternoon of the third day, Don Juan meets Count de Leon.

How nice of you to come, Don Juan.

Duke, I came as soon as I could.

What can I do for you?

First of all, I must have your word of honor.

You will reveal this to no one.

You have my word.

The king has ordered me to have a son.

Well, that's good. Why don't you?

I'm impotent.

I do not quite understand.

I cannot get an erection, especially with women.

Ah, now I understand why you're surrounded by all these handsome young

of yours.

I'm glad you understand.

What had that to do with me?

Now, don't get me wrong.

My wife has consented to have a child with only two men in this world.

Giacomo Casanova and you, Don Juan.

I've spoken to Casanova and he has refused.

So, Don Juan, it must be you.

You want me to go to bed with your wife?

Precisely.

Have I met her before?

Yes, you met her several years ago when she was still single.

She remembers you very well.

Oh, by the way, I'm sorry I didn't attend your wedding, but thank you very

for your invitation, but as you know, I was in Spain that time.

It was nothing.

So I have your word of honor.

You will tell this to no one.

You have my word.

Isabella and I have spoken of this often.

She has agreed to meet you.

I shall go to her chamber and bring her.

Don Juan, you remember my wife?

Sure, I do.

It's a pleasure to see you again.

Please be seated, gentlemen.

Well, you two have some very interesting things to talk about.

So, the natural thing for me to do is excuse myself.

Don Juan, do you remember the first time that we went dancing?

Isabel, of course I do. How could I ever forget a beautiful girl like you?

You know, Don Juan, I've always liked you.

Isabel, I always secretly admired you.

For me, you're one of Europe's most exciting women.

I know you're exaggerating.

I know that you've spoken with my husband.

Do you think that you're ready?

Are you?

For you, Don Juan, I'll always be.

Oh, I really like your bedroom.

Thank you.

Why is that?

Simple of purity, isn't it?

You know, I've really noticed your perfume. I like it.

Thank you. It was given to me a friend of mine.

Seems to me, though, I've noticed it on someone else before.

Who?

Giacomo Casanova. Oh, that's the friend who gave it to me.

That's great.

You're so good.

Hello, Don Juan.

I have some good news for you.

So, what's the good news?

It's been one month of your administering your treatment to my wife.

Time's passing by quickly.

She is now pregnant.

Why are you doing this?

I want my seeker to die with you.

Not if I can help it.

I don't want you to follow up my son.

My God, it hurts.

How bad is it?

Oh, God.

Oh, God, get me off.

Oh, God.

What happened?

Your husband and me jumped out the door.

Is he dead?

Yes, Lisa.

I'm just glad it's not you that was killed.

My husband has been very cruel to me.

He doesn't like women. He only likes men.

I'm glad to be free of him.

I love you, Don Juan.

You have the perfect cure for me. What is that?

Your perfect body.

Get rid

of these.

Help me.

Isabella's child became John's great -grandfather.

His grandfather came to America and bought land.

He had a son, John's father.

John is the sole heir of his family land.

And in an old desk that came from Europe, the antique shop dealer found

letterheads from Giacomo Casanova and a small bottle of perfume.

He gave that to John.

John was amazed that the glass preserved the exquisite scent for so many years

and put a few drops on his clothes.

This brought a new sense of happiness to him. He felt great.

But the perfume turned on everybody who smelled it.

The perfume led John to make love to everyone in the family.

That's how it's done.

Thank you.

This is not a joke, John.

I just want you to answer me one straight question.

Did you do my wife, my three kids, and Rose?

I'm going to tell you something, Paul.

And when I'm done, if you want to shoot me, go ahead.

Do you remember the perfume?

That your wife talked about after dinner the first night John became very

worried when he also made love to his partner He went to a psychiatrist

he had never had a homosexual experience before We made love with a passion that

I'd never even known before The psychiatrist refused to believe that the

had such an effect John

Have you ever thought that perhaps you could have been hallucinating some of

this? So she smelled it.

And John had to satisfy her.

John, if we could take this perfume and put it into cosmetics, we could make a

fortune.

I mean, I just happen to have the right connection in a good cosmetics line.

Okay, let's try it.

Dr. Sharp has a keen sense of business.

and wants to commercialize the perfume and cosmetics.

For this, she needs the endorsement of other scientists.

So this, ladies and gentlemen, was the dream that I had.

But to me, it was more than a dream.

It was more closely related to reality, I think, than reality itself.

So, you see why I called you here today.

As a matter of fact, I'm willing to stake my professional reputation on the

line. That's how important it is to me.

Sounds quite fascinating, Doctor, but can you substantiate that?

Yes, I can.

Thank you.

Oh. Oh.

Now I have my endorsement.

I haven't seen him sign anything yet.

I'm not going to deny that the perfume works now.

You are not going to believe what I found out today.

You're pregnant.

I know.

In my research, I found out that you are a direct descendant of Giacomo

Casanova.

Are you kidding?

Is it real? No.

Really? Yes.

Really? Yes. Do you know what that means to our advertising campaign?

I can guess.

Yes.

We are going to be very, very rich.

Yes, I'm very, very proud of you.

How are we doing?

Excellent.

Do you want to see today's speakers?

Mm -hmm.

Miss Cohen.

Yes, Doctor?

Could you bring me the sales reports, please, from today?

Certainly.

Here you are. I think you'll find these are up to date. Thank you.

Uh, excuse me, Doctor. I'm ready with these. Are these ready for mailing?

Yes, you need to be filled in.

Are you sure these figures are correct?

I'm positive.

It's amazing. I can't believe it. I never thought I'd see the day that

was worth more than oil.

I know. It's fantastic.

Growing every day.

I love it.

You haven't seen anything yet.

Casanova Products is going to take over the world.

How's our ad campaign going?

Fantastic. In fact, we're on the news tonight.

If we hurry, we can catch it right now. Oh, let's go.

News Channel presents the evening edition of the Pulse of the World.

All the important events will come to you through the best news team of the

nation. Dr. Ann Perry with the local news, William Margold with national

and sports, and lovely Maria Pia with the international scene.

As always, Dr.

K will give us his amusing report on the weather.

And now here is the beautiful Ann Perry with the local news.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. On the local front, business is booming for

hotels, motels, motorhomes, and condominiums, all booked solid due

to the incredible increase in sexual recreation.

A common sign of our times is no vacancy.

We haven't shown this kind of footage on television before, but now that it is

newsworthy, we can bring you the following live reports.

A little more.

Bye.

And now, for the national news in sports, Mr. William Margo.

Thank you, Anne.

Lust fever has hit the nation in epidemic proportions, but no one appears

complaining. The cause of this pleasant affliction is under study by teams of

specialists who seem to be having trouble concentrating on their work.

In sports, all scheduled contests have been canceled in favor of continuous

activities of a non -competitive nature.

Hi.

Hi. Do you like me?

Oh, yeah.

You look quite good.

Then why don't we go fuck?

Oh, yeah, that sounds like a real good idea.

Let's go.

Let's go over here in the park.

Oh.

Now for a look at the international picture, our lovely Maria Pia.

Thank you, Bill.

The pleasure plague has spread to many foreign countries, including England,

France, Italy, and has stopped revolutions in South America.

Entire continents are no longer making wars, just love.

People are making love everywhere.

Hopefully, there is no end in sight.

Our camera crews are busy capturing this never -ending outburst of spontaneous

sex.

Uninhibited couples are everywhere.

Believe me, the action is in the open.

Girls are approaching the men. And of course, the guys are very happy.

We've never seen a more pleased society.

No problems here.

Just love.

Is this the new sexual revolution?

You bet it is.

Finally, let's hear from our dear little weatherman, Dr.

K. Thank you, Maria.

Whether ready or not, here's the weather report.

Well, there's unusual weather out there, folks.

All over this nation, there are clear skies.

Not a cloud anywhere.

Yet I gotta say it.

countries all wet.

i don't know what i like best the money or you

it's the best of both worlds

there's

somebody at your door me

Scared me madam some people from the government are here to see you

I'm

terribly

sorry to interrupt you like this.

Don't worry about it. It's quite all right We're from the State Department,

we're here to discuss the possible use of Casanova products.

What about them?

We are willing to make an offer from the federal government for exclusive rights

to your Casanova products.

Oh, well, perhaps if the price is right.

The government is prepared to make a generous offer.

But we would like to make sure first that there is enough supply.

There is.

Therese, would you get this box for me, please?

This is the latest news bulletin. The Casanova products are so effective that

both the United States and the Soviet Union are dismantling their war

machineries, especially lethal nuclear weapons.

The superpowers have concluded that the future of mankind is in fucking, not

killing.