Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:03,810
Chappelle's Show.
Chappelle's Show.
2
00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:04,800
Chappelle's Show.
3
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,020
Chappelle's Show.
4
00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:06,970
Chappelle's Show.
5
00:00:06,970 --> 00:00:08,670
Oww.
6
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:10,840
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
7
00:00:10,870 --> 00:00:12,140
Whoo-hoo.
8
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:15,180
Yeah, yeah.
9
00:00:15,610 --> 00:00:17,350
Let's start the show.
10
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:22,550
(cheering)
11
00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:27,320
(announcer)
Dave Chappelle!
12
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,660
Good evening.
13
00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:34,260
Welcome back, guys,
how ya been?
14
00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:37,770
Guys, I was out last night,
had a pretty good time,
15
00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:39,900
and I saw that mad dash.
16
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,070
You know, the mad dash
at the end of the night
17
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:45,570
when guys are really scrambling
to get some booty?
18
00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:46,870
And it's like a game,
19
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,440
and the shot clock
is running out.
20
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:51,810
It's like
football or something.
21
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:55,950
Well, if you come up
under incredible odds,
22
00:00:55,980 --> 00:00:58,590
that means that you've had
a Great Moment
23
00:00:58,590 --> 00:01:01,190
in Hook-Up History,
and I salute you,
24
00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:03,790
and I salute all
who have had a Great Moment
25
00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:06,360
in Hook-Up History.
26
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,430
(narrator)
1983, historic Applecrumby's,
27
00:01:12,470 --> 00:01:15,040
the setting for yet another
classic stand-off between
28
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,340
sworn rivals,
29
00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:18,540
just the sort of stand-off
that creates classic
30
00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:20,680
hook-up moments.
31
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,680
Bobby Hutchinson
had spent the night
32
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:37,590
trying to rush his way
to pay dirt, Gina Morris.
33
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,360
Both prior attempts
by Bobby were stuffed
34
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,830
by the tough defensive line
that Morris traveled with,
35
00:01:42,830 --> 00:01:44,700
left guard, Carol Deitrich,
36
00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:47,720
and right guard,
Denisha "Bear" Bryant,
37
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:52,540
a tandem that had racked up 14
cock blocks just a year earlier.
38
00:01:58,850 --> 00:02:01,050
With the defense
momentarily sidelined,
39
00:02:01,050 --> 00:02:04,520
Bobby struck quickly,
approaching the coveted Morris
40
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,090
and winning her over with
one of his hysterical
41
00:02:07,090 --> 00:02:09,690
video game references.
42
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,690
You give me
Pac-Man fever.
43
00:02:11,860 --> 00:02:13,600
(gobbling)
44
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:20,130
With the defense returning
and time running out,
45
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,140
Bobby went into
his hurry-up offense.
46
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:29,240
Slowly but surely, Hutchinson
wore down the defensive line
47
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,810
with shots up the gut.
48
00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:35,720
With time running out,
49
00:02:35,750 --> 00:02:40,490
Hutchinson went for
the game-winning score.
50
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,120
Gina, why don't you
just come home with me?
51
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,590
No, we promised each other
we'd all leave here together.
52
00:02:46,590 --> 00:02:49,160
His attempt was blocked.
53
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,370
But Hutchinson recovered
the block and exploited
54
00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:54,070
the defense's
biggest weakness.
55
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:57,000
You know, I got some
pizzas at the crib.
56
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,270
All right.
57
00:02:58,710 --> 00:02:59,570
Pizza?
58
00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:02,180
I don't want no pizza.
59
00:03:02,210 --> 00:03:04,350
And some weed, too.
60
00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:07,820
Weed?
A'ight, yeah.
61
00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:10,450
Hutchinson knew
he was home free.
62
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:14,760
Victory was assured.
63
00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:17,820
That night, Bobby and Gina
had drunken sex
64
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,430
on top of her two
passed-out friends,
65
00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:22,600
technically making
it a four-way.
66
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,470
Bobby Hutchinson, yet another
great player responsible
67
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:29,940
for a Great Moment
in Hook-Up History.
68
00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:36,010
Them clothes
were a throwback.
69
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:39,050
I look like Turbo
from Breakin'.
70
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,680
I really got into
that character, too.
71
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,690
'Cause after we was done
shooting, I cleaned up the set.
72
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:47,720
I'm serious, they rolled
camera on it.
73
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,450
And now, folks, it is time
for a segment that I like
74
00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:14,180
to call "Real Movies,"
75
00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:17,250
where you show the real version
of what would happen in some
76
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,950
of our favorite movies.
77
00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:19,850
You know, a lot
of these movies
78
00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:22,020
get to be a little
fake and phony,
79
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:23,760
like you see home alone,
80
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,890
and Macaulay Culkin
is trickin' these bad guys,
81
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,660
when you know any real robber
would've shot the little dude
82
00:04:27,660 --> 00:04:33,700
in the first five minutes,
roll credits, the end.
83
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,340
So we like to show what
would really happen in some
84
00:04:36,340 --> 00:04:38,040
of our favorite movies,
85
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,080
starting tonight
with The Matrix.
86
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,930
(phone ringing)
87
00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:07,970
Hello?
88
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:12,310
(man) Hello, Neo, do
you know who this is?
89
00:05:12,740 --> 00:05:14,910
Morpheus?
90
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:19,250
Yes, I've been
looking for you, Neo.
91
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,450
I don't know if you're ready
to see what I want to show you,
92
00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:24,920
but, unfortunately, you
and I have run out of time.
93
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,220
They're coming
for you, Neo,
94
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:28,360
and I don't know what
they're going to do.
95
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,530
Who's coming for me?
96
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:34,430
Stand up and
see for yourself.
97
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,270
I can guide you
out of there,
98
00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:47,470
but you must do
exactly as I say.
99
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,740
Okay.
100
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:52,210
The cubicle across
from you is empty.
101
00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,990
Go, now!
102
00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:07,400
Stay there.
103
00:06:14,770 --> 00:06:17,840
When I tell you,
go to the end of the hall.
104
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,140
Stay as low
as you can.
105
00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:20,840
Now.
106
00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:25,180
(farting)
107
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,660
There is a black man sitting at
a desk directly to your right.
108
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:39,930
Look at him.
109
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,660
Morpheus?
110
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,830
Psyche!
111
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:46,030
It's Earl, nigga,
I need your stapler.
112
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,600
I can't find mine.
113
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,240
Hello, dumb-dumb,
do you know who this is?
114
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,940
(laughing)
115
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:56,410
Dude, you totally got me.
116
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,710
Whoa...
117
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,750
(laughing)
118
00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:10,320
All right, gang, we're gonna
take a quick commercial break.
119
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,930
We'll be right back
with Chappelle's Show.
120
00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:15,930
(cheers and applause)
121
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,040
You know, folks,
in an earlier episode,
122
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,240
we were talking about just
the entrepreneurship
123
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,810
of all these
hip-hop cats, man.
124
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,010
These rappers got their
hands in everything.
125
00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:35,450
So I'm home the other day,
and I caught this commercial...
126
00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:36,350
I don't know
if y'all have seen it...
127
00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:39,350
but this bugged me out.
128
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,520
(announcer) The most
precious thing in the world
129
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:45,460
is the financial security
and well-being of your family.
130
00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:48,030
You wanna send your little
ones to the best schools,
131
00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:48,930
and in the end,
132
00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:52,370
know that you've left
them with peace of mind.
133
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,300
Nowadays we all know that cash
rules everything around us:
134
00:07:56,300 --> 00:08:00,610
Cream, get the money,
dollar-dollar bill, y'all.
135
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:04,080
That's why it's time to enter
the 36 Chambers.
136
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:07,120
Come step to the "Wu",
Wu-Tang Financial.
137
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:10,590
At Wu-Tang Financial,
we'll work with you
138
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:14,490
to devise the best plan
for you and your fam.
139
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,220
I mean, Smith Barney...
140
00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:17,120
bunch of bitches.
141
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:17,990
Old-time farts.
142
00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:20,160
You gotta know how
to jack this shit.
143
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:21,860
You gotta play
this game rough.
144
00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:24,470
In, out, get,
grab, bonk.
145
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:27,940
You need to diversify
your bonds, nigga.
146
00:08:27,970 --> 00:08:29,670
Military shit
is blowin' up.
147
00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:32,310
We about to go to war,
invest in some nuclear bombs.
148
00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:34,010
This ain't
Trading Places, nigga.
149
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:36,180
This is real
fucking life!
150
00:08:36,210 --> 00:08:40,080
Protect your goddamn
neck, a'ight?
151
00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:42,720
Wu-Tang Financial,
a place for you and your kids.
152
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,750
All of our trusted consultants
are here to meet your needs.
153
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,920
Unfortunately, the Ol' Dirty
Bastard couldn't make it today,
154
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:52,660
but he sends his regards:
Doo-da-doo-da-doo-da.
155
00:08:52,690 --> 00:08:53,960
So call us,
156
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,130
because at the end
of the day,
157
00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:58,770
Wu-Tang Clan ain't
nothin' to fuck with.
158
00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:00,930
Wu-Tang Clan ain't
nothin' to fuck with.
159
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,500
Wu-Tang Clan
ain't nothin' to fuck with.
160
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,710
Wu-Tang Clan ain't
nothin' to fuck with.
161
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:10,450
Wu-Tang Clan
ain't nothin' to fuck with.
162
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,350
step to the "Wu",
Wu-Tang Financial.
163
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:25,190
Now, who could forget the
timeless classic, Pretty Woman,
164
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:29,530
where Julia Roberts
plays a prostitute
165
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,730
that lucks up and
meets a millionaire,
166
00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:33,440
and they fall in love?
167
00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:35,600
Well, let's see what would
happen in the real version
168
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,340
of Pretty Woman.
169
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:43,410
I worked at a couple
of fast-food places.
170
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:47,320
Parked cars
at wrestling.
171
00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:51,220
I couldn't pay the rent.
172
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:55,560
And I was too
ashamed to go home.
173
00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:58,160
That's when I met Kit.
174
00:09:58,190 --> 00:10:02,060
She was a hooker and
made it sound so great.
175
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,800
Okay.
176
00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:07,700
You've gotta get
the fuck outta here.
177
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:12,940
Hey, we're gonna take
a quick commercial break,
178
00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:14,670
and I promise
we'll be right back
179
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,810
with more Chappelle's Show.
180
00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:21,580
The greatest show.
181
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,750
Hey, gang.
182
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:28,520
Hey, hey, welcome back.
183
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,260
You know, folks,
184
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,990
I'm really tryin'
to encourage dialogue
185
00:10:31,990 --> 00:10:35,030
amongst the diverse array
of people in America,
186
00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:37,660
so it's time again
for "Ask A Black Dude"
187
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:42,400
with none other than comedian,
Paul Mooney.
188
00:10:48,910 --> 00:10:52,980
Why in the movies is the black
guy the first guy killed?
189
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:54,580
That happy nigga
that's in that movie where
190
00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:59,320
he heals all white people,
the big black runaway.
191
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,090
He was throughout
the whole movie.
192
00:11:01,090 --> 00:11:02,820
He only got killed
at the end...
193
00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:04,560
which I hated,
I hated that movie
194
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:05,860
'cause I hated him,
and I hated everybody
195
00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:07,560
that wrote that movie.
196
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,060
Black people are always worried
about, like in Barbershop.
197
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,200
They better be worried about
what they say in white films.
198
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,530
White films go
all over the world.
199
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:15,840
'Cause I remember
the Godfather,
200
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,570
and I won't forget the...
201
00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:18,870
when they had the drug
scene and they said,
202
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:21,470
"well, we don't do that,
sell it to the niggers."
203
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:26,210
They shoulda had somethin'
to say about that.
204
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:29,250
Are your
cameras still on?
205
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,450
Black people wanna
go to black dentists,
206
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:35,760
and do black people wanna
get buried by black...
207
00:11:35,790 --> 00:11:37,060
undertakers?
208
00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:38,830
That's funny,
Stephen King.
209
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:42,260
He almost said, "nigger,"
I read between 'em.
210
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,600
I always thought
dentists were dentists.
211
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,770
I wasn't into black and
white dentists, please.
212
00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:50,100
If they can fix the teeth, cool.
If they can't, that's cool, too.
213
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,400
That's kind of
a weird question,
214
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,440
and coming from Stephen King,
that was very strange.
215
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,610
Having a horror man come on and
ask a question about a nigger.
216
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,750
That was already scary.
217
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,910
I wrote a script
for Stephen King.
218
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,650
I have a Stephen King
horror movie...
219
00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:03,550
Nigger With A Brain.
220
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:04,850
We'll see how that
scare people.
221
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,890
Niggers In School,
how 'bout that, Stephen?
222
00:12:15,230 --> 00:12:17,400
Sex, sex, sex.
223
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:19,600
See, the thing about sex
is there's good sex
224
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,740
and there's bad sex.
225
00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:28,240
This next piece is a special
report on some bad sex.
226
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:34,320
And I mean bad like
Catholic priest, R. Kelly bad.
227
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,550
(announcer) And now a News Center
3 special report with Chuck Taylor.
228
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,290
Good evening,
I'm Chuck Taylor.
229
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:42,860
Tonight's top story...
230
00:12:42,990 --> 00:12:45,190
Outrage throughout the community
as yet another sex scandal
231
00:12:45,190 --> 00:12:47,760
involving boys
and men of authority.
232
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,930
Who is it this time,
you ask?
233
00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:53,400
Jedi knights in
a galaxy far, far away.
234
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,170
Many of them are coming
forward with allegations
235
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:56,900
that the Jedi masters
they studied under
236
00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:00,810
repeatedly sexually molested
them over a number of years
237
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:04,280
and that the Jedi Council
knew about it all along,
238
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:07,280
in some cases,
encouraging the abuse.
239
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,350
To clarify, Jedi knights
like young Luke Skywalker
240
00:13:10,350 --> 00:13:15,520
being sexually abused by Jedis
like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
241
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,560
Okay, we're getting word
that council leader Yoda
242
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:22,060
is having a press conference
right now at Skywalker Ranch.
243
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:24,200
We go there now.
244
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:27,240
(reporters shouting)
245
00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:28,100
You.
246
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:32,870
Yoda, isn't it true you knew
of these abuses in 1977?
247
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:37,650
Know about sex with boys,
Yoda did not.
248
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,250
Tired Yoda is.
249
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,720
Resign
he will.
250
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:46,320
(shouting)
251
00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:48,060
You, you.
252
00:13:48,090 --> 00:13:50,690
Yoda, then how do explain
the recently uncovered tape
253
00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:52,860
that seems to implicate
you in the cover-up
254
00:13:52,860 --> 00:13:55,860
of Jedi boy touching?
255
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,600
Yoda that was not.
256
00:13:57,630 --> 00:13:59,770
Then who was it?
257
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,370
Mickey Rooney, maybe?
258
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,840
Over this
interview is.
259
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:11,130
Can we roll the footage
of that tape in question?
260
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,420
Appalling Yoda's
behavior was.
261
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,720
Damn it!
262
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,360
Now that freak has me
talking like him.
263
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:02,260
Okay, I'm being told now that
Mace Windau, Yoda's replacement,
264
00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:03,560
is now at the podium.
265
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,130
We go live.
266
00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:09,200
I would just like to say that
this council has zero tolerance
267
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,510
for any sexual deviancy
regarding our Jedi knights.
268
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:16,110
(shouting)
269
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:17,410
Question here.
270
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,750
Mace, do you feel
that the Jedis
271
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,350
who committed these kind
of crimes deserve to die?
272
00:15:21,350 --> 00:15:26,290
Yes, they deserve to die,
and I hope they burn in hell!
273
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,120
Strong words
from Mr. Windau.
274
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,590
News Center 3 has been covering
this story for some time,
275
00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:34,790
and earlier today, I caught
up with the former Jedi knight
276
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,670
who first made
these allegations.
277
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:43,440
My master said the force
was strong in me...
278
00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:48,640
and gave me
a wine cooler.
279
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,980
Then he made me wear
a blindfold
280
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:56,450
and reach
into his pants to...
281
00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:02,960
"look for the force."
282
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:06,860
Are you sighing, or are you
just... breathing normally?
283
00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:10,770
I don't even
know anymore!
284
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:15,970
Son, I know this is
difficult for you, but...
285
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:20,310
could you show me on the doll
where he touched you?
286
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,040
Point it out.
287
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:28,120
(breathing heavily)
288
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:31,590
Can we cut tape?
289
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,480
Miguel, you heard the man.
290
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:37,660
Cut the goddamn tape!
Just cut it!
291
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,600
I was just young
and curious.
292
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:46,770
(sobbing)
293
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,400
We may never know
what really happened, but...
294
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,540
people on the street
have been reacting
295
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:53,270
to this news all day.
296
00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:55,910
This never would've happened
in the world of Star Trek
297
00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:57,640
'cause the fleet commanders
would not have allowed...
298
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,350
you can't prove that!
299
00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:01,520
(screaming)
300
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:05,450
A simple statement of protest
from an angry young geek.
301
00:17:05,450 --> 00:17:07,150
When we come back...
302
00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:10,190
gay droid marriage,
should it be legalized?
303
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:13,230
This queer couple
says yes.
304
00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:19,330
We're gonna take a quick
commercial break.
305
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,770
We'll be right back
with more Chappelle's Show.
306
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,660
Please, don't go anywhere.
307
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,580
Chappelle's Show. Oww.
308
00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:34,480
Hey, guys, I wanna thank you
all for being with me tonight.
309
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,250
I'd like to thank you at
home for tuning in.
310
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,550
You guys are the greatest.
311
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,290
I'll see you next week,
God willin'.
312
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:40,560
I'm out.
313
00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:43,590
(cheers and applause)
314
00:17:47,930 --> 00:17:49,660
I'm rich, bi-atch!
315
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:50,560
(horn honking)
316
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,270
Hi, thank you.
317
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,950
Wu-Tang Clan ain't
nothin' to fuck with.
318
00:18:10,950 --> 00:18:13,120
Wu-Tang Clan
ain't nothin' to fuck with.
319
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:16,120
Wu-Tang Clan ain't
nothin' to fuck with.
23695
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof