Original subtitles

Throughout recorded history, the people of Krypton

have existed in perfect harmony with one another, with our planet.

But that precious balance would have been undermined if, had General Zod, our

own security minister, succeeded in his plan to start a new order.

This new order, as he called it, would have sown chaos throughout the planet,

turning our own good people of Krypton against the ruling council of elves.

disposing of eons of diplomatic principles.

If Zod's plan had worked, the people of Krypton would have not only accepted

this tyranny, they would have begged.

I now place the fate of these three in the hands of the ruling council.

What say you?

Guilty.

Guilty.

Guilty.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. The verdict must be unanimous, Joel.

The final decision now rests with you, and I will hold you alone responsible

if we are condemned.

Guilty.

You have not heard the last of me, Jor -El. There is no prison that can hold

You and your heirs will kneel before me.

You will kneel before Zod.

Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the seatbelt sign. We are

expecting just a tiny bit of turbulence up ahead.

So please, return to your seats and keep your seatbelts fastened. Thank you.

I'm not liking this weather a bit.

Ah, who gives a shit?

Wine transcontinental special.

Roger that.

Can I get you two anything before I take my seat?

More jet fuel.

Guys, I am not bringing you any more whiskey.

How else are we going to pass the time?

Maybe Jenny could show us what's under her blouse.

Come on, again?

It's a long flight.

But the turbulence, I need to take my seat.

It's a 747, it's a plane flight, so... You need to take your seat right here.

That's an order.

Well,

she put it that way.

All right!

Cocky party!

If you put all the numbers together...

Statistically speaking, airline travel is still the safest way to fly.

I mean, the chances of anything actually happening are almost slim to none.

Statistically speaking.

Let me go ahead and get my balls out of the hangar.

there we go yeah that's winning some crap there oh yeah here

let

me get a little closer for you there you go

Fuck you, right there. Did it hurt you?

Yeah.

Yeah, why not hurt you with my penis?

You're not even trying. There you go.

That's flying the friendly.

Woo!

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Getting right back on my co -pilot stick.

Let's get up on mine here. Turn around.

They didn't get up there?

Oh, yes!

Change the flight plan. I think so. Get your hats up there.

Take control of that thing.

All right, all right, Cap.

Oh,

my goodness.

I am such a dirty co -pilot. Oh, my goodness.

Who's the dirty co -pilot? Who's the dirty co -pilot? I'm the dirty co

I think I should get up to the top of the door. You want some of this? Yeah.

me get in there for a cup.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

You like it right there?

Yeah! Fuck yeah, came out of my fucking car. Get in there.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm gonna try and take it up 10 ,000 feet. You're the captain.

I don't even know what I'm gonna do.

I watch Gage as I can.

Bye.

You, sir.

Yeah. We need to check the guidance control.

Have a seat right here.

We're going to have to do it manually.

Take my chair.

You know what? You want to be quiet?

Take my chair. I get to be quiet? Sit here.

Sit here.

You.

Climb up on that.

That's what it's like in Thailand.

You got no idea.

You know, this is really no good. I'm going to take us up to a thousand feet.

After that, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

You are the captain. Oh, I'm the captain. You are the captain.

I'm the captain. Oh, good.

Captain. Oh, yes.

Mutiny. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Oh, good. Fucking captain. Captain.

Try to get this altitude.

Yeah, keep it fast. Keep it fast.

More turbulence.

More turbulence.

Oh, yeah.

He's coming apart.

Oh,

yeah,

yeah.

Oh, God, yeah.

Fuck.

Oh, you need some water? Thank you. Hey.

I got you.

A little bit more of this.

Yeah, hold on.

I'll get it on the intercom. I'll get you some water.

Only those do it. Only those do it. Yeah,

I know. That's what's funny about it.

Captain speaking.

Students, please attend to the main cabin.

Students, please attend to the main cabin.

We're needing some refreshments.

Thank you very much.

You're almost going to be caught.

I can fix this.

I'm the captain. I know how everything works.

There you go.

Oh yeah, fucking Halloween soon.

We got a fire engine too! Fire control!

Buckle up! Fire control!

And freeze!

Lock and roll. Flight 303.

Hydraulics are out.

Ensign number three is out.

We're going down.

It's the Mayday. Mayday.

Oh,

I shouldn't have had that beef.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's your captain speaking.

We're experiencing some technical difficulties with the formula.

I'm taking the plane to a lower altitude.

Please refrain from moving out of the cabin and fasten your seatbelts.

Can't light it.

Reiterate.

Throttle down.

I want photos of this so -called flying man. You got it, kid? I don't care how

you do it. Just bring him to me. I want photos of him up in the air. I want

photos of him on the ground.

I want photos of him with his mother.

I don't care. Get me every angle, but get him to me like yesterday. You got

I'm on it, Chief.

Don't call me Chief.

Chief, I got one of the bankers to talk.

I'm going to break this story wide open.

Front page, banner headline.

Jeepers, Lois. You always get the best scoop.

Every time.

Is that a story I can't break, Jimmy?

Listen, the bankers are ass on page two. I got something better for page one.

Flying man saves doomed 747.

Flying man? Listen, find out who he is. I want to know everything about him. I

want to know what he had for breakfast. I want to know what color his shoes are.

I want to know where he lives. I want to know everything. You understand that?

Hey, and listen, I got a new reporter coming. His name is Clark.

Clark Kent.

He'll be sharing your desk.

Why don't you show him around?

So I was looking at it, and it kind of looked like he had a rash.

No, it wasn't white. It was yellow and kind of slimy on overalls.

Yeah? Clark Kent?

I'm the new reporter.

Oh, Mr. White is not away.

Oh, swell.

Thank you.

So, did you actually be the flying man?

Uh -huh.

About six foot four?

Dark hair.

And what was he wearing?

Pajamas?

All right.

The story keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Hey, you must be the new guy.

Hi.

I'm Jimmy, the on -site photographer. This is Lois, the best investigative

reporter in the city.

Call me Lois.

Your desk is right there.

And be a doll, Clark, and fetch me a coffee, black, two sugars.

Sure thing, Lois.

That Clark Kent guy seems like a neat fella.

Yeah, you two are perfect for each other.

He was more powerful than a locomotive.

Here you go, Lois.

Gee, Lois, I'm so sorry.

How did you do that?

Greetings, citizens of America. It is I, Lex Luthor, the greatest criminal mind

of the century.

You're probably wondering why I've interrupted every television channel to

you with my sublime presence.

I've come to give the people of Metropolis fair warning. You have but...

Fifteen minutes left to live.

I've sent you a gift, a Minuteman missile, and it's on its way now.

The great city of Metropolis and all of its people will be little more than a

pile of ash.

Unless you deposit $100 million into my Swiss bank account.

Tick -tock, America, the clock is ticking.

Tick -tock, tick -tock.

Who the hell is this idiot?

15 minutes?

What are we going to do in 15 minutes?

We run another headline. That's what.

Excuse me. I think I'm going to be ill.

I'm sorry.

Didn't mean anything.

It's not a big shot.

It's a bird.

It's a flame.

No, it's... It's a guy in red underpants. It is.

Gibbon, that flying man just dropped a missile.

Can you remember sucking your dick for nothing?

Uh... Look at that. A second missile?

We're doomed.

Doomed!

Thank you.

God. Oh my God.

Tell me what you are. Tell me.

Tell me.

I don't want to do it.

Yes. Oh, my God. Yes, it has to grow.

Fuck. Yes.

Thank you.

Oh my god, please tell me I'm gonna cum!

Please tell me! Yes, yes, yes!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

How was it that good?

Yes.

oh my god

Oh my god!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh my god, yes.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Just stroke my cock. Just stroke it. Just stroke it.

stroke it.

I'm gonna fucking cum.

Damn it! Who is this man in red underpants?

And what business does he have interfering in the plans of the great

I'm sure it's just a temporary setback, Lex, baby.

You can destroy Metropolis next time.

But first I must destroy this Superman.

If anyone can do it, you can, Lexi.

Miss Tessmacher, are you patronizing me?

Of course. Of course not, Lex.

I just think that you need to take some more time off.

You know, relax, unwind.

The world will be here tomorrow, and then you can destroy it.

For once, Miss Tessmacher, I think you may have a point.

Amen.

Yeah, I'm going to test my butt.

Yes, Lexi, baby.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Walker.

Oh, good.

I love you.

You like that, don't you? Yes, I do.

Yeah, look how hard that cock is.

That little mouth makes you want to bite your mouth.

It's real hard.

You're so very good at your job, Ms. Testlocker.

Yeah, take that cock from you.

Make that dick sound so good.

Oh, God.

Yeah. You like the way I grab that fucking cock? Mm -hmm.

Yeah. The sound you make when it's in your mouth.

You like that, Ms. Tess Moffitt?

Oh, I love it, Lexi.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh, you beat my dad.

Who's the greatest criminal mind of our century?

You are, Lex.

Lexi, baby, you're a genius.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm going to tell you that I'll hold you. You're going to give it to me.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh

hit my fucking -

Big ass chicken.

There he is, Mr. Tessmacher.

Oopsie. Mr.

Tessmacher, what are you doing?

Yeah, get inside that pussy.

Yeah.

I want you deep in that fucking pussy.

I want you deep in that pussy.

Just fucking that fat fucking pussy.

Fuck me now.

Yeah. Mm -hmm.

Fucking crazy

I feel their fucking dick. I feel their fucking dick. They're rubbing me in the

pussy. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, I couldn't fucking think that.

I make you want to fucking come.

I make you want to come. Are you going to give it to me, Lexi, baby? Are you

going to give it to me, Lexi, baby?

All over my fucking pretty little face?

Yes.

Give it to me.

What types of miserable creatures could possibly live here?

We will have our answer shortly.

Kneel, creature.

Kneel on this, Zorro.

It's Zod.

Not particularly bright creatures.

Kill them? They can't kneel.

Look Zod, this Superman wears the emblem of Jor -El.

So he does.

We seem to have landed on a planet that bears the kin of Jor -El.

Daily Planet must be the seat of this world's government headquarters.

We will go there.

There is much kneeling to be done.

I want you to find Superman, Lois.

Get me an exclusive interview, and I guarantee you'll be looking at the next

Pulitzer. A Pulitzer?

You sure know how to talk to a lady, Chief.

Great Caesar's ghost!

Your government's defenses are pitiful.

This planet will be ours within the hour.

Who's in charge here?

She's our head writer.

Head writer?

That's an interesting term for a world leader.

World leader?

Listen, Bob, I don't know what planet you're from, but... Violent!

Show them who's in charge now.

Now, head writer, kneel before Zod.

Listen, I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here, but... Pay homage to

the new head writer. Now.

Of course I couldn't act like I really enjoyed it, but in reality, it took so

long and I couldn't wait to get fucked by these three super villains.

Knock knock knock knock knock

Witch!

You dirty crap.

I don't know.

You like that don't you?

Nancy? Oh, Clark.

There are three people in Perry's office. I think Perry's dead.

And... And Lois!

Lois is... Lois?

Ha ha!

You're too late.

Son of Joel, I've already claimed authority over this planet and its

leader. Just look at her face.

It's not what it looks like, Superman. I mean, it was just a blowjob, and

technically, that's not even sex.

Before this day is done, you too will kneel before me, Superman.

No, Zod. I'm going to finish the job my father started.

Kneel! Kneel, super fraud!

Kneel!

Kneel, super fraud!

Superman? No!

At last, my revenge is complete!

This is impossible!

There's one thing you'll never understand, Thud.

In Metropolis, Superman always wins.

It's a good thing I always keep an extra Phantom Zone crystal on my cape.

Not to mention... an extra baby wipe.

Superman, thank you so much. I just need to come through.

I'll see you in the news.

But what about an interview?

Perry!

Chief, it's all over. Chief!

Take her. She's in charge. It's over, Chief. They're gone.

Forget

it, Clark.

Superman already saved the day.

Are you hurt?

No, but... I think I'm in love.

In love?

That's super!

Superman? I hope I'm not interrupting.

No, no, not at all.

I was just... I was afraid I'd never see you again.

I thought you'd like an interview.

I've been thinking it's probably a good idea for the people of Metropolis to

know who I am.

Will you help me tell my story?

Would I?

I... I... Is that a yes?

Of course.

Here, have a seat.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

Would you like a glass of wine?

No, thank you.

I never drink when I fly.

Okay.

Let's start from the very beginning.

Where were you born?

I was born in a faraway galaxy, on a planet named Krypton, though it had been

engulfed by a dying star.

Before my planet died, however, my father sent me to Earth.

Hmm.

And why do you have a superpower?

Well, my molecular structure is far more dense than Earth's humans.

That's what makes me virtually indestructible.

Okay, well, other than flying and your super strength, do you possess any other

superpowers?

I can see through pretty much anything.

You can?

Only when I try, of course.

Okay, Superman.

What color panties am I wearing?

Pink.

And you're, um, shaved.

Superman?

Do you always fly solo?

Yes. Oh.

Would you like to fly with me?

I thought you'd never ask.

Can you hear my thoughts?

Do you know how much I want to fuck you?

I bet you have a super cock.

Oh.

Well,

they don't call me the man of steel for nothing.

Hmm.

I'm off to defend truth justice in the American way.

But will I ever see you again?

I've only just begun to tell you my story.

Miss Tessmacher, I believe we found Superman's one weakness.

Lex, baby, you're a genius.

Oh, I know.

I know.