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This program contains
subject matter and language
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that may be disturbing to some viewers.
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Viewer discretion is advised.
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Hey, everybody!
5
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,110
How's it going?
6
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The towel
7
00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:46,990
the drug addict
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00:00:47,550 --> 00:00:50,610
I just -- I just
can't seem to stop.
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00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:53,260
Towelie has agreed to be in a
documentary about addiction.
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00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:55,280
Hey, you goin' swimming?
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00:00:55,550 --> 00:00:57,170
Don't forget to bring a towel!
12
00:00:58,230 --> 00:01:00,330
He does not know he is about
to face an intervention.
13
00:01:00,690 --> 00:01:01,840
Get out of my face!
14
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,240
Get out of here!
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00:01:05,670 --> 00:01:09,600
Intervention
16
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:11,790
my name is Towelie.
17
00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:19,620
T-o-w-e-l -- y-e-y.
18
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:23,230
I'm great at cleaning up spills.
19
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,410
And I'm 100% machine washable.
20
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,160
I'm just an ordinary
towel in a lot of ways.
21
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:33,590
Except for one.
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00:01:34,710 --> 00:01:36,840
I'm addicted to marijuana.
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00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:38,570
And crystal meth.
24
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:40,580
And crack.
25
00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:48,090
Nine years ago towlie
started smoking marijuana.
26
00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:51,170
Two years later, he started
experimenting with crystal meth.
27
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:55,020
Anybody want their sucked?
28
00:01:55,730 --> 00:01:58,270
Does anybody want their
sucked by a towel?
29
00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:01,680
Towelie has become a complete
nightmare in our town.
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00:02:01,890 --> 00:02:04,850
He's broken into my house
twice and stolen my allowance.
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00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,050
I've got almost nothing left.
32
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:09,060
If we're playing outside,
he shows up completely wasted
33
00:02:09,110 --> 00:02:11,150
and screaming how the
government is following him.
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00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:14,780
I just don't want to
watch him kill himself!
35
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,600
I don't even know
who he is anymore!
36
00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:22,590
There's is no doubt in my mind
that if we don't get Towelie help,
37
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,400
our entire summer is
going to be ruined.
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00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,240
Camp for the handicapped
39
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,360
oh boy, Timmy!
40
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,500
It's our favorite time of year!
41
00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,280
Timmy!
42
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,970
We get to see all our
old friends again!
43
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,920
Hey, there's Francis! Hey, Francis!
44
00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:47,880
Hey, Jimmy! Hey, Tim!
45
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:48,860
Timmy!
46
00:02:49,730 --> 00:02:52,520
Look at Lenora, everyone! Good job!
47
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,060
Come on! Good job, Lenora!
48
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:55,970
Alright, good.
49
00:02:55,980 --> 00:02:57,250
Let's get Lenora a towel!
50
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:00,560
C'mon, where's the towel?!
51
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:01,970
The towel isn't here.
52
00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:03,480
I think it's off
getting high again.
53
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,685
For the past week Towelie has been
54
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,930
working at a summer camp
for handicapped children.
55
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,930
He has been given warnings for
getting high fourteen times.
56
00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,610
Hey! Where's that towel?
57
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:16,440
Oh, yeah, just a sec!
58
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,580
We went out and got Towelie a job.
59
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,320
So he could try and pays us
back all the money he owes us.
60
00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:21,600
Stupid towel.
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00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:23,020
What's going on, towel?
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00:03:23,190 --> 00:03:25,350
Oh, yeah, just had to take a piss.
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00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,560
Sorry.
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00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,270
We got wet campers down there.
Move your ass!
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00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,320
When Towelie is doing heroin,
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00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:31,990
he doesn't care about anything.
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00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:35,370
I don't care about anything.
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00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:38,290
Stupid... handicap... camp...
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00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:40,460
Alright, blue team.
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00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:42,120
As team Captain I need to make sure
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00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:43,850
we are ready for the
big camp competition!
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00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:45,440
Oh, we're weady awight!
73
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,960
We can weawy stick it
to wed team this yew!
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00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:49,890
No way red team can beat us no way.
75
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,730
Red team won't know what hit them.
76
00:03:52,910 --> 00:03:54,090
Alright. Everyone together!
77
00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:55,520
Are we gonna beat
red team this year?
78
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,400
Yeah!
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00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,220
Timmy!
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00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:58,000
Yeah!
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00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:02,920
I can't stand him, Mimsy.
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00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,040
That Jimmy kid makes my skin crawl.
83
00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:08,080
Darrr, you've always
hated Jimmy, boss.
84
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,440
Ever since he whooped you
at soifin' last summer camp.
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00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:11,820
He really took it to ya good.
86
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:13,820
Shut up, Mimsy.
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00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,220
Oh, sorry boss.
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00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:16,520
Listen to me.
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00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,380
There is no way that blue team
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00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:20,840
is gonna beat red team
this year at camp.
91
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,010
You got that?
92
00:04:22,490 --> 00:04:23,669
Blue team has beaten red
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00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:25,930
team the past three
summers at Lake Tardicaca.
94
00:04:26,290 --> 00:04:29,660
The three legged race is
blue team's best event.
95
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,760
What we need to do Mimsy,
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00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:36,010
is use a little bwain power to
make sure blue team can't compete.
97
00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:38,520
Oh boy! We're ruin
blue teams chances, huh?
98
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,010
We're gonna break their
legs or something, boss?
99
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:41,790
Shut up, Mimsy.
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00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:44,540
Just do what I say
and we can make sure
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00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,980
Jimmy Valmer gets
what's comin' to him.
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00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,500
There ya go, Lenora. All better now?
103
00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:51,960
Yes, thanks.
104
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:54,140
That's right, when you go swimmin'
105
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:57,090
don't forget to bring a -- blalrlg!
106
00:04:57,270 --> 00:04:58,560
Who hired that towel?
107
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:01,090
It can barely walk let
alone dry somebody off.
108
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,920
You think you're
better than me? Huh?
109
00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:06,020
You think-- you think you're hot?
110
00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:08,360
A lot of times when
Towelie shoots heroin,
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00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:09,910
he just gets angry at everybody.
112
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:11,620
You can all suck it!
113
00:05:11,740 --> 00:05:14,060
You're all -- you're
all a bunch of towels.
114
00:05:14,070 --> 00:05:15,000
That's what you are!
115
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,200
The thing is, Towelie was
pretty happy before.
116
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:20,220
He had a girlfriend he liked
117
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,100
and then she got pregnant
118
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,910
and had a little washcloth.
119
00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:30,210
But then Towelie just kept
getting more and more high,
120
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,990
and he got kicked out of the house.
121
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:33,510
You!
122
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:34,570
Lemme talk to him.
123
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:36,570
Lemme talk to him, you bitch!
124
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:40,410
Towelie is attempting
to talk to his son.
125
00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:43,370
His ex-wife will not let her son
talk to Towelie when he's high.
126
00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:45,130
No! I'm not high!
127
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,310
I haven't been high
since Wednesday.
128
00:05:49,290 --> 00:05:50,630
Oh, it is Wednesday?
129
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:53,590
Alright campers!
130
00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:56,240
Our first event is
the big canoe race!
131
00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:59,430
Oh boy, the canoe race! Heee!
132
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,740
We gotta be-beada-da -- beada -
we gotta beat the red team!
133
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,620
I've got it, Mimsy.
134
00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:07,950
I got a way to win the race and
135
00:06:08,270 --> 00:06:10,010
get rid of Jimmy for good.
136
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,260
Der oh boy!
137
00:06:11,290 --> 00:06:12,580
What're we gonna do boss?
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00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:13,700
Simple, Mimsy.
139
00:06:13,860 --> 00:06:16,350
We're gonna put a little
surprise in the canoe.
140
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,020
What kind of a surprise?
141
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:19,990
Ooh, it's a snake!
142
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,790
Not just any snake, Mimsy.
143
00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:23,230
It's a black mamba.
144
00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:27,320
The black mamba is the
deadiest snake known to man
145
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:30,300
the odds of surviving a black
manba in your canoe are 546 to 1.
146
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,030
Oh, gee wiz, boss.
147
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,860
We're gonna kill all the
blue team and Jimmy, huh?
148
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,110
Shhh! Shhh!
149
00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:38,330
You boys excited
for the canoe race?
150
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:39,960
Yes, counselor Steve.
151
00:06:40,140 --> 00:06:41,710
I like duh fun canoe.
152
00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:44,090
Canoes are fun, aren't they?
153
00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,250
Now take the black mamba, Mimsy,
154
00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:48,460
and put it in the canoe.
155
00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:50,080
I'm gonna go get our team ready.
156
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:52,670
Alright, campers, are we ready?
157
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:53,890
Yeah!
158
00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:55,480
Good luck, Jimmy!
159
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,040
You too n-n-Nathan!
160
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,700
You're gonna need it, you asshole.
161
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,130
On your mark!
162
00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:02,020
Get set!
163
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:18,940
Holy ! Mimsy!
164
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,410
What the hell did you do?
165
00:07:20,730 --> 00:07:23,400
Dar you said ta put da black
mamba in the canoe, boss!
166
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,670
Not in our canoe, Mimsy!
167
00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:29,140
Mimsy has put the black mamba
snake in the wrong canoe.
168
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:32,400
The odds of the red team winning
the canoe race are now 1 in 19.
169
00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:36,710
We crossed the finish line first.
170
00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:42,670
Hey, hey, we need a towel!
171
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:44,930
Oh, uh, just a sec!
172
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,150
Not just a sec.
173
00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:47,640
We got a bunch of wet
campers down there!
174
00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:48,510
What's going on?
175
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,016
Towelie makes extra money
176
00:07:54,017 --> 00:07:56,720
for drugs by offering
oral sex to older men.
177
00:07:58,340 --> 00:07:59,900
Hey you owe me money, asshole!
178
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:02,670
That's it. We're done.
179
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,450
You are no longer employed here.
180
00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:05,720
Please, sir.
181
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,850
We need a nice,
clean towel here at summer camp.
182
00:08:09,060 --> 00:08:11,890
We don't need a towel that shoots
heroin and has sex for money!
183
00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:15,080
Some people are so picky
about their towels.
184
00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:17,230
Alright campers!
185
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:19,250
Next event is the
big scavenger hunt!
186
00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:20,970
Blue team is gonna go first!
187
00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:24,870
I finally got it, Mimsy.
188
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:28,190
I got a way we can kill Jimmy
and beat the blue team.
189
00:08:28,410 --> 00:08:30,150
Oh boy! What're we gonna do,
huh, boss?
190
00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:33,490
Simple. We're going to get Jimmy
killed by native Americans.
191
00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:35,220
Here take this.
192
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,330
It's a fake scavenger hunt map.
193
00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:39,310
Darrr, this map leads
to the scavenger hunt?
194
00:08:39,490 --> 00:08:42,130
No! That map leads to
the Indian reservation.
195
00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:45,060
We switch this with blue
team's scavenger hunting map,
196
00:08:45,270 --> 00:08:48,830
and they'll end up right on the
Tardicaca India reservation!
197
00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:52,810
The Tardicaca Indians are extremely
protective of their land.
198
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,310
Trespassing on the
Tardicaca reservation
199
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,150
is considered extremely dangerous.
200
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,830
Dar, oh boy! We're gonna get Jimmy
killed by Indians, huh boss?
201
00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:00,450
Shh! Shhhh!
202
00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:03,470
Are you boys excited for
the neat scavenger hunt?
203
00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,140
Yes, counselor Steve.
204
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:07,150
I like da scavaga -- hut.
205
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:11,410
Alright, Mimsy. Now you take this
map to the Indian reservation
206
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:13,210
and you switch it with blue teams.
207
00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:14,520
You got that Mims?
208
00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:17,120
You switch the map. Switch the map.
209
00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:18,190
Dar I got it, boss!
210
00:09:18,230 --> 00:09:19,640
Switch the map! Switch the map!
211
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,000
Darr, how come we're
scavenger huntin' now, boss?
212
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:26,730
Because stupid,
now that we have blue teams map
213
00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:28,330
we can get their
scavenger prize, too!
214
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:29,880
Darr, oh boy!
215
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:32,490
This doesn't make sense.
216
00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:34,210
Why would they make us go this far?
217
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,550
We're handicapped.
218
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,730
Turn left at the -- wait.
219
00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:39,460
Wait a minute. What the -
220
00:09:41,890 --> 00:09:42,520
oh!
221
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,300
Mim! This is the map to
the Indian reservation!
222
00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:47,790
Well, sure it is, boss!
223
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,230
I told you to switch this
with the map for blue team!
224
00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:52,620
Nah you told me switch the map.
Switch the map.
225
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,290
So I switched it, and I switched.
226
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,630
Mimsy!
227
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,040
Uhhh, my name is Nathan.
I'm disabled.
228
00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:10,710
Intervention
229
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,070
hey everybody!
230
00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:15,710
Let's all go to the
office supply store!
231
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:22,010
Towelie has run out of
money for had drugs.
232
00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:24,850
He now inhales computer
duster to get high.
233
00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:27,160
You must have one dusty computer.
234
00:10:27,550 --> 00:10:29,400
You! It's not illegal, bitch.
235
00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:40,900
I feel like I could
conquer the world.
236
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,160
Towelie now inhales up to 2,
00 cans of computer duster a day.
237
00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:49,830
It's like I'm walkin' on sunshine!
238
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,330
I really think this intervention
is Towelie's last chance.
239
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,440
Towelie! Open the door!
240
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,520
Go away. I'm walkin' on sunshine!
241
00:11:00,670 --> 00:11:03,300
Towelie, I gotta take you
somewhere really important.
242
00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:07,110
Just -- let me walk on
the sunshine a little more.
243
00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:13,330
Alright.
244
00:11:13,390 --> 00:11:15,203
In the surfing competition, the
245
00:11:15,204 --> 00:11:17,320
red team is up three points to two!
246
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:19,770
And now it's Jimmy Valmer's turn!
247
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:23,180
Timmy!
248
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:26,470
Gee, I wish our team Captain
was as awesome as Jimmy!
249
00:11:30,220 --> 00:11:31,520
I finally got it, Mimsy.
250
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:35,130
I got a way we can get rid
of Jimmy once and for all.
251
00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:36,600
Oh boy! Oh boy!
252
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:37,800
What're we gonna do to him, boss?
253
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:40,770
Simple. We're gonna get
Jimmy eaten by a shark.
254
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:42,020
Here, take this.
255
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:43,890
It's a shark mating whistle.
256
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:46,380
Der okay boss,
a shark mating whistle!
257
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,050
We gonna hit'em over the
head wid it, huh, boss?
258
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:49,750
No you, moron.
259
00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:52,230
You go under the water
and blow that whistle.
260
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:55,090
You can attract sharks,
right as Jimmy starts to surf.
261
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:56,887
The Tardicaca shark is
262
00:11:56,888 --> 00:11:59,170
the deadliest freshwater
shark in Colorado.
263
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,933
A shark mating whistle can
264
00:12:00,934 --> 00:12:03,700
attract the shark from
over two miles away.
265
00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:05,120
Der I got it boss!
266
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:05,965
I blow the whistle and
267
00:12:05,966 --> 00:12:07,650
make the shark come and
bite Jimmy's legs off!
268
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:08,810
Then he'll bleed ta deat!
269
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:09,790
He's gonna bleed at deat!
270
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:10,480
Shhh! Shhh!
271
00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:14,260
Are you boys enjoying
the fun beach?
272
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,310
UN Counselor Steve.
273
00:12:16,490 --> 00:12:17,900
The beach is warm.
274
00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:22,040
Gee, dat was a close one huh, boss?
275
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:24,000
Dye almost hoid me sayin'
we was gonna kill Jimmmy!
276
00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:26,280
Shut up, Mimsy.
277
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,830
Just swim in the
water where Jimmy is,
278
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,250
then blow that whistle.
279
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,530
Derr, oh boy!
280
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:36,550
I dunno, Timmy.
281
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,170
Those waves are pretty big.
282
00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:39,990
Timmy.
283
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,750
Don't worry,
Jimmy can handle himself!
284
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:44,820
Gonna catch a wave.
285
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,260
Derr, I got me a shark whistle!
286
00:12:55,430 --> 00:12:56,390
Oh boy, here it comes.
287
00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:57,250
Here it comes!
288
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:01,030
Oh no!
289
00:13:01,290 --> 00:13:02,240
Jimmy!
290
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:03,340
Wait look!
291
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:04,300
He's doing it!
292
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:13,480
Yeah! Alright!
293
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,790
Ha ha, oh boy!
294
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:25,850
Mimsy?
295
00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:27,360
You didn't do what I told you!
296
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:28,690
Whatdya mean, boss?
297
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:30,320
You said to swim in the water
and then blow the whistle.
298
00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:32,270
I swam in the water,
so now I gatta blow the whistle.
299
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:34,851
Mimsy was supposed to blow
300
00:13:34,852 --> 00:13:36,890
the shark whistle while
still under the water.
301
00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:40,220
There appears to have been a
fundamental misunderstanding.
302
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,220
You idiot!
303
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:47,600
You don't blow a shark
mating whistle on dry land!
304
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,890
You were supposed to blow it -
305
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:52,231
Mimsy's error has caused a lake
306
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,330
shark to come onto the
beach and mate with Nathan.
307
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,839
The Tardicaca Lake shark's
penis is nine inches long.
308
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:58,860
Colorado department of wildlife.
309
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,230
Mimsy!
310
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:02,390
Get this thing offa meeee!
311
00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,120
Today is Towelie's intervention.
312
00:14:05,290 --> 00:14:07,480
We have no idea how
he's going to react.
313
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:10,180
Come on, Towelie,
it's right over here.
314
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:13,780
Towelie thinks he is on
his way to the laundromat.
315
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,280
What's going on?
316
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,260
You wanna come on over,
have a seat with your friends?
317
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,210
What is everybody doing here?
318
00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:30,540
We've all just been talking,
Towelie and...
319
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:31,880
What I'm hearing is a
bunch of people here
320
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:33,430
who just love the heck out of ya.
321
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,400
And... they're gonna say
say what they wanna say,
322
00:14:35,490 --> 00:14:37,400
then you can say what you wanna say,
and we're done. Okay?
323
00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:40,320
Towelie, over the past couple years
324
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:43,290
I have seen drug addiction
affect you in the following ways.
325
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,010
Oh, Jesus, man.
326
00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:46,960
Towelie, you need to let him finish.
327
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,360
You're not the towel
you used to be.
328
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,380
Where as you used to be
Fluffy and absorbent,
329
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,027
you now are crusty and
330
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:58,220
unable to absorb the
smallest amount of water.
331
00:14:58,670 --> 00:14:59,890
Will you get help today?
332
00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:02,630
I don't -- I don't get this.
333
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,150
Kyle?
334
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:07,440
Towelie, over the past few months
335
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,440
I have watched you go from
an ancillary character
336
00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:10,840
with a few amusing catch phrases
337
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:12,099
to a dried-out spewge-rag
338
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,940
covered in the jiz of
a thousand older men.
339
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,550
Can we just end this, please?
340
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,950
You have to let him finish, Towelie.
341
00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:19,730
If you do not accept treatment,
342
00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:21,730
I will no longer give you money,
or be your friend.
343
00:15:21,830 --> 00:15:23,280
I will not help you kill yourself.
344
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,680
Alright, Eric.
Do you want to go next?
345
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:29,860
Kyle, I hate you so much.
346
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,390
You are a liar and a swindler
who will do anything for money,
347
00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:34,170
and I -- we're here
for Towelie, fat ass!
348
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:36,400
I'm supposed to be allowed to finish,
right? Is that right?
349
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,286
The Jews have been persecuted
350
00:15:38,287 --> 00:15:39,880
across the earth for
good reason, Kyle.
351
00:15:40,030 --> 00:15:42,390
You are a race of
beady-eyed thieves, who --
352
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,050
this is serious, you!
353
00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:47,060
I'm being serious, Kyle! Hello?
354
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,500
Kyle, we have to let people
355
00:15:48,501 --> 00:15:50,150
be allowed to finish
during interventions.
356
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:51,730
But he's just using his
time on television to
357
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,420
Kyle, please, it is not your turn.
358
00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:58,820
You are a race of
beady-eyed thieves, Kyle,
359
00:15:59,030 --> 00:16:00,440
who throughout the
millennia have squirmed
360
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,900
and worked your way into the
dark cubbyholes of society.
361
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,320
Where exactly did the
Jews first get their power
362
00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:09,400
and how are they able to
manipulate our minds today?
363
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:10,600
Oh, my God.
364
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:16,730
Talent show competition!
365
00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:20,200
It's a snap at Tardicaca camp
366
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,940
to learn to do the hula hula dance.
367
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,690
I fell in love with
a Tardicaca dove
368
00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:26,640
while doin' that funny funny dance.
369
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:28,900
This poor little kid, why she
never did a bit of lovin' before.
370
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:29,870
Get ready, Mimsy.
371
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,690
Blue team is about to go boom!
372
00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:35,420
Red team planted half a pound
of c4 in Jimmy's ukulele.
373
00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:36,754
It is set to go off during
374
00:16:36,755 --> 00:16:38,670
the ukulele solo of
'Tardicaca hula gal'
375
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:40,956
so I made up my mind that I
376
00:16:40,957 --> 00:16:43,330
struck a find the
Tardicaca gal I did adore.
377
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:47,110
Wow, wow, wow, I looove....
That little Tardicaca. Hullaaaaa!
378
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,100
She's the candy kid
to wiggle. Hulaaaa!
379
00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:51,130
She sure to make you giggle.
Hulllaaa!
380
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,540
With her naughty little wiggle,
381
00:16:52,570 --> 00:16:53,900
some day -- I'm gonna try to
382
00:16:53,950 --> 00:16:56,800
make this Tardicaca galie mine,
this galie mine.
383
00:16:56,910 --> 00:17:00,660
Cause all the while I'm dreamin'
of her my Tardicaca hula gal!
384
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,530
Oh, sorry. That's not right.
Hang on.
385
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,930
Der, I don't tink he's
playin' da right note, boss.
386
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:13,320
The c4 ain't gonna go off --
387
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:14,870
shut up, Mimsy!
388
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:19,260
If in fact the Jews
truly are shapeshifters,
389
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,360
and I believe I have
presented enough evidence
390
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,730
here to prove that they are,
391
00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:25,540
then we must unite as a
species to fight them,
392
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,240
and stop their plan
of global domination
393
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,000
and the control of our freedom.
394
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:33,190
Okay, Stan. You want to go next?
395
00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:35,674
Towelie, if you do not go
396
00:17:35,675 --> 00:17:37,900
to treatment we will
all ignore you forever.
397
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:38,990
Will you go?
398
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,370
What treatment?
399
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,130
What are you all talking about?
400
00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:43,480
If you say yes, we leave here.
401
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:44,940
We pack your things, get on a plane,
402
00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:46,391
go to a treatment facility
403
00:17:46,392 --> 00:17:48,050
in Southern California
that's all set up.
404
00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:49,670
No! No!
405
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:51,790
I'm not getting on a plane!
406
00:17:51,950 --> 00:17:53,090
This is!
407
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,620
Don't give me ultimatums!
408
00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:58,760
I thought you were my friends!
409
00:17:58,900 --> 00:17:59,690
Well, Towelie,
410
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,790
your friends don't want to watch
you kill yourself anymore.
411
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:02,870
Then them!
412
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:05,070
You're telling me I
have to do this and
413
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:06,990
I'm not left with
any decisions here!
414
00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:11,640
Towelie! We aren't the only
ones at this intervention
415
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:12,840
who've been hurt by you!
416
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:14,930
Who are you talking about?
417
00:18:19,210 --> 00:18:22,420
Washcloth? You brought washcloth?
418
00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:24,550
Oh that's low!
419
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,430
Out on the beach with
my dear little peach
420
00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:29,560
as the waves blowing in so high!
421
00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:31,270
Dammit!
422
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:33,261
Jimmy has skipped the ukulele solo
423
00:18:33,262 --> 00:18:35,620
and moved on to the second
verse of 'Tardicaca hula gal'
424
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,690
this has set back
Nathan's plans immensely.
425
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:38,620
Mimsy!
426
00:18:38,810 --> 00:18:40,770
Get up there and demand
the ukulele solo!
427
00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:41,810
It's our only chance!
428
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,250
Dar, okay boss!
429
00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:46,260
If you get in a pinch
go through it's a cinch!
430
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,430
Dar wee want the ukulele solo!
431
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,140
We want da ukulele solo!
432
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:52,450
Sorry, Mims,
I just can't remember it.
433
00:18:52,850 --> 00:18:56,010
Well, we's wants ya to play it,
don't we? Yeah.
434
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,550
Alright Mimsy, maybe you
can show me how it's done.
435
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:02,030
Dar! Okay! It's real easy!
436
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:03,340
You just play like dis!
437
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,300
Mimsy!
438
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,230
You idiot! What are you doing?
439
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:10,310
Dar, I was going to show
him how ta play it, boss.
440
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:11,730
That does it!
441
00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:13,910
I am sick and tired of
your stupidity, Mimsy!
442
00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:16,380
You are the biggest
idiot I have ever met,
443
00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:18,670
and from now on if I
want to do something,
444
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,100
I'm gonna do it myself!
445
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,341
Nathan's frustration with
446
00:19:27,342 --> 00:19:29,360
Mimsy has caused a momentary
lapse in judgement.
447
00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:31,280
He has played the b flat himself,
448
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:32,800
thus causing his plan to
literally backfire on him.
449
00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:42,390
Oof! Ugh. Ahghg! Ahghghgh!
450
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,450
No, not the shark again!
Not the shark again!
451
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,810
Oh washcloth! I'm so sorry!
452
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,570
He needs you to get better,
Towelie, please!
453
00:19:57,620 --> 00:20:00,340
You got so many people that just
love the heck out of ya, Towelie.
454
00:20:01,690 --> 00:20:04,560
Alright! Alright. I'll go!
455
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,280
You will?
456
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:09,570
I don't want to hurt
washcloth anymore!
457
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,440
He's going everybody!
Come on! Hugs!
458
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:21,950
Poor wed team.
459
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,790
Their Captain weawy got waped.
460
00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:26,710
I never seen a kid get
screwed by a shark before.
461
00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:29,430
I hope I never see it again,
462
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,490
Nathan, your team put
up an amazing fight.
463
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:34,410
And even though I was crowned
king of cripple camp,
464
00:20:34,570 --> 00:20:37,240
I want you to know that you
were the real ch-ch-champ!
465
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:39,600
I hate you, Jimmy.
466
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:43,340
I hate you with everything
in my entire being.
467
00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,720
Dar, you sure got it stuck
it to ya this year, boss!
468
00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:48,340
Shut up, Mimsy.
469
00:20:52,530 --> 00:20:54,240
Towelie is going to ocean
view terrace treatment center
470
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:56,660
in Rancho Palos Verdes, California.
471
00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:03,320
- Hi, Towelie?
- Yeah, hi.
472
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,767
Towelie is defintely the
473
00:21:05,768 --> 00:21:08,440
most addicted towels
we've ever seen here.
474
00:21:08,940 --> 00:21:11,260
He's probable the second
most psychologically
475
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,910
damage towel I've come across,
476
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,220
since treating
Christine Ali's towel,
477
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,120
which has seen some...
Some nasty staff.
478
00:21:19,410 --> 00:21:21,340
I don't know what
tommorow's gonna bring.
479
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,960
But I'm learning to love what I am.
480
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,400
I'm a towel.
481
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,810
Towelie finished treatment
482
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:31,690
and is back living with
his girlfriend Rebecca.
483
00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:35,170
He has been sober
since April 26th, 2010.
484
00:21:36,650 --> 00:21:38,740
If you know a towel that is
suffering from addiction,
485
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,540
please go to www.Restorestephenbaldwin.Org
486
00:21:41,740 --> 00:21:51,940
Sync by Tina @YYeTs
www.addic7ed.com
33207
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