Original subtitles

Who are you trying to reach?

What number is this?

What number were you trying to reach?

I don't know.

I think you have the wrong number.

you know I was making popcorn?

I've got psychic powers.

I know all kinds of things.

Yeah? Like what?

I know you like dirty movies.

I do, huh?

I think you just heard the popcorn popping.

Do you mean you don't like dirty movies?

I didn't say that.

I just don't think you're psychic.

How did you know my name?

Turn around.

Cut.

I'm sorry, Eli.

It's okay, Lily. It's a fucked up situation.

How the fuck am I supposed to do a parody of a horror movie with no fucking

blood?

I'm not really sure I'm supposed to kill her with this.

Is he fucking me to death? I don't know, guys. I just know that if there's any

violence at all, that Vibrant will not distribute the movie, okay?

Well, uh, what if he takes the dildo and shoves it down her throat and

suffocates her with it?

Mmm, not likely.

Uh, I can't deal with this right now. Let's just do the sex, and we'll figure

out how to kill you later.

Um, so do I have to, like, wear this?

For the theme, because the fucking nose just fell off.

I guess not, then.

Do we have any glue?

Does anyone even care?

Okay, no, I guess you're not wearing it for the theme. Great. Wait, are we

supposed to use the toy in the theme?

Oh, yeah, I don't even know what the fucking thing is. No, you know what? I

don't care. Whatever. Let's go. Okay. Come on. Somebody fuck somebody.

To start? All right.

And your big teeth.

Okay.

What'd you give Evan for call time tomorrow?

Eleven.

I'll make it ten. Ever since he won Performer of the Year, he's stopped

following Greenwich Mean Time.

Okie dokie.

Hey, how about we go get something to eat?

I could, uh, recommend my bedroom.

Isn't that from one of my scripts?

Pretty cheesy.

The delivery.

Why don't we get together this weekend?

Well, I'm getting killed tomorrow, so this may be your last chance.

I'll add you to my long and ever -growing list of regrets.

Meet you at my place?

Sure.

Did you brush your teeth? I have to think.

Oop.

Bet I beat you back.

Not if...

Danny!

I want to go home. This isn't funny.

Tragedy struck the tiny community of porn yesterday as porn starlet Lily

was brutally murdered by an unknown assailant.

LeBeau was starring in Vibrant Video's XXX parody of the successful Stab

franchise when she was cut down outside a filming location late last night.

It was exactly one year ago when production ground to a halt on the Stab

and the ghostface killer, the real -life subject of the Stab films, attacked the

cast and crew, and many have speculated about the obvious connection.

In this adult studio behind me, filming continues on Stab XXX.

But for how long?

For KAXB News, I'm Gail Storm.

Good?

Yeah, I just wish it was sweeps.

I wish we could get in there.

It's got to be tense in there.

I just can't believe it.

Yeah, I know.

Lily was amazing.

Amazing!

What? Talking about Scarlet. I can't believe she fucking flaked on me today.

am I going to shoot?

Yeah, about that.

You think she's in danger?

You think maybe she witnessed something?

These are porn girls, Deputy. I mean, she probably broke a nail or snorted too

much meth or fucking couldn't find her new horoscope.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know.

I used to be a Pisces.

Are we still shooting the Billy scene today?

All right, everybody. Everybody.

Listen up.

All right?

Unless I snap and kill one of you, we are still shooting everything on the

schedule. Is that understood?

Now, can we please set up for the principal's office?

All right. I got pretty much everything I need. Did you hear from Kay?

Top of my list.

Lily was amazing.

Oh, my God. Why are you here?

W. Lewis, can I get a statement?

We're actually not issuing any statements at this time, Ms. Storm.

I understand.

Surely everyone must feel more safe knowing that you're around.

Well, this much is true, especially in light of what happened to Ms. LeBeau.

Gruesome. Can you tell me more about that, Deputy?

You could call me Huey, and I can't get into specifics, but what I can tell you

is she was stabbed 53 times.

53?

Yeah. And not a single drop of blood.

I've never seen anything like it.

Do you think this is funny?

Take off that mask.

Take off the costume.

Take it off.

I'm going.

Do you think this is funny? I mean, people are being killed out there,

Sydney is...

It's just distraught about her father's disappearance, and this is a joke?

People just keep saying he's the killer.

People keep saying that you are about to get expelled, Missy. Well, I

think I can change your mind.

Ah, yeah.

Bad little student.

Yeah, that's all.

Oh,

yeah, that's all.

Yeah, you little fucking cocktease, huh? See that? See that dick hand on the

little fucking pussy?

Rubbing it?

Walking up and down my arm.

Pissing me off and fucking talking.

Oh, you're bad.

You're bad. I know it was only that time. You crack.

Stupid like a...

I'm sure. I like that.

But if you think you're so posh about yourself, are you going to fucking come

for me?

Oh, no.

No, you fucking don't come. I'll tell you when you come. This is my fucking

school.

I make new rules. You follow them.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah.

Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop.

Don't stop. Don't stop.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

Fucking pussy from you, huh?

Fuck, walk around on your fucking t -shirt, huh?

Do a fucking little t -shirt fucking on you. Oh, yes.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. What's up with that little fucking pussy?

Yeah, you like that fucking cock, don't you? Oh, yes. Watch me fuck you little

fucking...

Alright, get down on your fucking knees. Come here. Come here.

Yeah, it's a good thing I got plenty of white shirts.

Yeah.

Come on.

I fucking want to suck my cock. Get it fucking in there.

Yeah.

That's right, there you go.

Oh, yes.

I feel a lot harder. You got my cock. You got my fucking cock.

Let me step in a minute.

Fuck! Yeah, that's a good fucking cock. Fuck!

Fuck yourself in the fucking cock!

Fuck! Yay!

Tight grip, huh? Tight grip.

Fucking cock is so hard.

Fuck!

Fuck!

don't you? There you go.

There you go.

Yeah. Oh,

yeah.

Yeah,

I see you girls out there in the parking lot all the time sucking cock.

You don't like to suck cock, do you? Fuck you fucking little son of a bitch.

It's a little hard. Come on. Fuck.

Fuck.

Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

That little fucking pussy.

Oh, you're a fucking cock hungry little fucking slut, aren't you?

Yeah, you want to watch that cock go inside you?

You want to watch yourself get fucked by a big fucking cock?

Oh, you grabbed my balls. Yeah.

Put my fucking cock in. Yeah.

That's my baby girl.

Oh,

yeah.

That's my dear little fucking girl.

What are you going to do with your body, huh? It's so fucking deep inside.

You're like fucking pussy.

Fuck!

Fuck! It's so fucking deep inside. Oh!

Look at that. Fuck!

Fuck!

break and suck all the pussy juice off my cock?

Before I fuck you real hard and make you fucking cum?

Because that's what it's going to take.

Fuck yeah!

Fuck,

my fucking cock's throbbing in your throat.

Face me, you little fucking... Ah, you fucking little fuck!

Fuck me up!

Hey, guys.

Get back up.

Just like that.

Put it right here.

Just like that.

And a little pussy up so I can fucking...

Yeah, I can feel the pussy in my fucking car.

Fuck.

Fuck me.

Fuck me.

Fuck me.

It's in my fucking car.

my family for generations.

I've got a meeting.

You're going to make me fucking come with a hollow fucking... Open your

I don't want to come with you.

I want you to come with me so I can walk around school with you.

I sit in front of my desk. People sit all day long.

Play with your pussy while I check.

Let's talk about this again.

Get back to class.

Leave the costume.

Okay, principal.

You're walking in like the fucking mummy.

You're the killer. And you, you know what? Best actor, performer of the year.

Would you fucking give? Oh, now you're going to direct. Oh, this script sucks.

This was a script for my goat herder. That's fucking horrible.

They handed me the fucking pages.

You can throw a little tantrum. Oh, I'm not.

death from Rocko Reeves.

Why should Timmy be any different?

Why should Timmy be any different? You know what? It's an honor. They killed

performer of the year.

Right? There. See?

See? See? Fuck off.

Are you walking out?

Wait, you didn't get any deep background from the deputy?

Uh, Pete, please don't do innuendo.

You're really bad at it.

Hey, I've got to keep myself entertained.

Don't. I'd rather deep -sert Ron Jeremy, the bank deputy dog.

Hello?

Is this Sydney?

Yes, it is.

No, it isn't.

Look, this is... Sidney Applebaum.

I'm the school janitor.

Now, what the hell do you want?

Listen, you dirty old fuck. Put Sidney on the phone or I'm going to come over

there and rip that fucking cunt right off your face. See you.

Hello, Sidney.

I thought... You thought what?

It was that call again.

I thought... Never mind.

It's going to be all right.

Everything's going to be all right.

Cut.

Yeah, that sucked less. I'll take that. That's okay, guys.

Okay. Is that it for me, Eli? Am I done?

Yeah, you're done. But I still need you back tomorrow to find the bodies, okay?

All right. I'm out of here. All right.

First, honey, honey.

When you're done screaming, can you come back here?

So, would you like to do some BTS with me?

Sure.

Let's go to the bathroom.

Yeah, okay, let's move on, everybody.

Any luck?

No sign, so it keeps going straight to voicemail.

Great. No director.

He's probably just drunk somewhere, sleeping or not.

I'll tell you what, I'm not going to wait on him. I have shit to do.

We've still got to shoot our scene.

Oh, okay. Great.

Now I'll shoot it. Now it won't be the first time I finish the movie without

him.

Easier, really.

This business has really gone to hell.

Gone? Like it went somewhere?

Yeah.

Once there used to be porno geniuses.

There did.

But not anymore.

Really? You think so?

Yeah. Holiday. Dead.

Gilly. Dead.

Leslie. Dead.

Eli Cross.

Dead? No.

Arrogant. Talentless asshole.

Who else?

P .T.

Get distributed by Hustler, he might as well be dead.

Brad Armstrong?

Condom, doesn't count.

Axel Braun?

Italian, next.

Uh, Nicholas Steele?

Fat, drunken idiot.

Jules Jordan?

Are you fucking kidding me?

What about Joanna Angel?

Joanna Angel is a porno genius.

Well, we got that settled.

Let's do this.

Rinse your butt.

All right. I'm going to need a light, camera, a couple fish pads.

You! I want to see you running.

Running!

The code has been here.

Well, do you think we should wait for the others?

You might be the only one left.

Well, in that case...

I don't believe that's what they did.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank God.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Okay, shake me cum, come on!

Yes, like that.

fucking dick go to my ass i see it i see it oh yeah oh you drive me nuts with

that you drive me nuts going to my ass like that come on

You love it. Look at that ass. Come on.

Put it back in. Yeah, that's right.

Put it back in. Put it back in. Put it back in. Oh, back in.

Don't tease me.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

You know I'm begging for it. Put it back in. Put it back in. Put it back in.

Not that hole.

Not that hole. Come on.

No, I want it in my ass.