Original subtitles

[Miranda] Previously on "American Classic"...

[Richard] I made a vow I would restore

this theater to its former glory.

Cut to the chase. How much?

Uh, it'd be $250,000 a week.

For Our Town?

I bought 212 theater seats.

You know, I'm casting with local actors.

I think I have something very nice for you.

Thank you.

Wanted to talk about your payment?

I promise we'll make it up next month.

And in return, would you mind

inviting Nadia and me over for dinner?

She's obsessed with the actor fella.

Connor, Kristen tells me

that you're the savior of the town.

He is wanting to build a casino.

[Connor] And the MFT site might just be big enough.

I got some surveying done when I took over the loan.

Whoa! I'm sorry--

-Wait a minute. -What the fuck?

The theater is not for sale.

-Kristen is an employee. -I am not an employee!

[Jon] Richard, come on, you can't say that.

How dare you.

[cheerful music]

[Linus] Feel free to reject this idea entirely,

but I've been thinking.

Because the Stage Manager exists outside the story...

-Mm-hm. -...and is essentially a device,

what if he's a puppet?

Confusing? Interesting?

Both. I think it's--yeah.

-But, uh, oh.

-[door closes] -Yeah.

Good morning, my favorite man.

Ah, Kristen, my love!

-Sit. Sit. -No, thank you.

I actually, I-- I need to talk to Richard.

Okay, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone.

Oh, boy, you're a lucky man.

We'll see.

I need you to understand something.

I love the MFT.

It's my home.

I would never do anything to jeopardize its future.

Well, it's interesting because--

Okay, just--just let me-- let me finish.

I walked into that theater when I was a lost, unloved,

extremely unhappy 15-year-old girl.

Do you know what it's like to be unloved, Richard?

I don't think you do.

'Cause you've been worshipped since you were in utero.

I can't remember quite that far back.

That place, it saved me

and I have given it everything I have.

So for you to call me an employee--

I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry.

Way out of line.

-I beg your pardon? -I am sorry.

Wow.

I was, you know,

shouldn't have said that.

That's stupid.

Well...

I can see how it might've been a bit of a shock to find out--

That the family theater had been sold right from under--

I did not sell it!

I refinanced it.

And if I hadn't, we would have lost the theater.

So I guess, you know, actually,

I didn't do anything wrong.

Mm, interesting apology.

Yes, I--

I understand now why you went into politics.

Look, I want to save the theater, too.

-I might have mentioned that. -Oh, yes, we know,

with your million-dollar Our Town.

Come on, Richard,

you're never gonna be able to raise that money.

There's still some phone calls to be returned.

There's some angels out there--

-Uh-huh? -Flapping their wings,

trying to take off.

I don't know. Yeah! I haven't given up.

You know what? That's great. Have at it.

Have at it? What? Oh, you're saying...

I'm saying go for it.

I mean, we tried it my way. Let's just try it your way.

You know, and if--if--

if those angels do come up with the money,

you can do Our Town however you want.

But if they don't,

consider doing the play

the way it was intended to be staged.

I just can't see it.

You can't see it?

-Sorry. -Oh! Huh.

Oh, huh! Our Town.

By Thornton Wilder.

"Act One. No curtain. No scenery."

Can you see it now?

I've seen it 50 times like that.

And--and--and every time

someone does a bit of...

...mime, I'm taken right out of the play.

Give me a horse, you know?

People are carrying umbrellas and there's no rain

and people are undoing these jars.

Why such a strenuous suspension of disbelief?

Suspended disbelief is all we can afford right now.

And you can cast locals

the way you told everyone you would

during your mother's eulogy.

I may have overpromised.

No, no, Richard, you're so good with actors.

What is it you want me to do?

You--you just-- just read Mr. Webb.

[man] Oh. [clears throat]

George, I was remembering the other--

Oh, Jesus. What is that?

"Night."

George, I was remembering the other night the advice--

Mm--

Oh, Jesus H. Christ.

What's that say? "My figure"?

-"Father." -Father.

Couldn't use a bigger font?

It's like I'm reading a goddamn pill bottle.

Would, uh--

Would--would reading glasses help?

Who are you, my wife?

How many of these people have we seen so far?

Eighteen, 19 if you count the "singing" dog.

I'm beginning to doubt that there is

any acting talent at all in this town.

-Well... -What happened to Joe Stople,

the guy who played Falstaff?

Dead. Ten years ago now.

-What about Muriel Pritchard? -Yeah. She lost her job.

She moved to Michigan to live with her daughter.

I thought I'd find you both here.

-Uh-huh. -I've brought your mother.

She--

She's in there?

In an urn. Yes.

The one you picked out.

[Richard] Yes. Cherry wood box.

See? It's two birds.

One representing you and one representing me.

I'm guessing you're the eagle.

Yes. And you're the wren.

It's very nice of you, Kenny, to bring her here yourself.

My pleasure. I love my work.

It's sad, I know,

but I get to meet people, help them.

It's difficult sometimes when a young person passes,

but mostly people live long, happy lives.

Yeah, yeah, uh--

What did you just say a moment ago about--

you talking about young people?

I was talking about how much I love my work.

No, it was something else.

Uh, here, would you read something for me?

I'll read with you. Here, okay?

And just be yourself.

[Kenny chuckles]

You look well.

Yes. Yes.

Can't complain.

Very sad our journey today, Samuel.

Yes.

Yes, I always say I hate to supervise

when a young person is taken.

Oh, he's the undertaker.

Yes, we're not looking for actors.

We're looking for...

Real people who are real people.

And you...

qualified.

Congratulations. The part is yours if you want it.

Richard Beam?

It's Bean with an N.

B-E-A-N, like the legume.

Can I get your autograph?

Sure. Well, of course.

Yes, um, excuse me.

Yes. How would you like me to make that out?

Just sign your name.

What exactly am I signing here?

Oh, God.

-Where do you want them? -[Richard] Oh! Huh--

[councilwoman] But it's money we don't have, Phil.

[councilman] Yeah, how many more local jobs do we lose?

We can't even afford to pick up our own trash, Kristen, my God.

Maybe we see if CONCAP is willing to hire a local.

Now, I would really like to move on

to the next agenda item,

which is a very exciting proposal

from our friend Connor Boyle.

I'm gonna let him walk you through it.

So, Connor.

Thank you, Mayor.

Councilmen and women.

I hear you're talking about rising prices and unemployment.

And let me tell you this,

it breaks my Irish heart.

Big problems require big solutions,

which is why I would like to offer you this.

It is a...

integrated entertainment complex--

a hotel, casino,

three restaurants, stores and a theater.

It would sit at the site

of The Morrison Hotel and surrounding land.

It will employ 800 people

and generate over $3,000,000 in tax revenue annually

and that does not include your cut

from the table games and slots.

This is the wonder you've been praying for,

and I am a believer it'll help save this lovely town of yours.

[teens chanting] No, no casi-no!

No, no casi-no!

No, no casi-no!

No, no casi-no!

-No, no casi-no! -Oh, boy.

[gavel banging]

No, no casi-no!

[chanting continues]

I--I just want to make it clear,

I'm not an actor.

I'm an obstetrician.

That's what I want.

I don't want actors. I want real people.

So Dr. Gibbs in this scene is--

it's the first time we meet him,

and he's coming back from having delivered twins.

My brother Jon is gonna read Joe with you

and, um, just relax and--

whenever you're ready.

-Mornin', Doc. -[angrily] Mornin', Joe.

Want your paper now?

Yes, I'll take it.

Feel like he's gonna hit me.

Yeah. Just--

That was very good, Derek.

But for some reason,

you're--you're coming across as slightly psychotic.

And I'm wondering why you would make that choice for Dr. Gibbs.

My dad was a GP.

He was tired and stressed.

I guess I'm doing my dad.

Yeah, we all are in a way.

But here's the thing.

Try it again, will you?

Just a simpler-- a little less angry.

[clears throat]

Okay.

-Mornin', Doc. -[angrily] Mornin', Joe.

Want your paper now?

Yes, I'll take it.

Wait.

Oh, I'm doing it again, aren't I?

-Yeah, a little bit. -I'm gonna level with you.

My dad was an angry guy.

Honestly. He drank.

[Richard] I see the problem.

I want you to forget about your dad, okay?

This is you, okay?

A doctor. A happy doctor.

Just be yourself.

Oh, okay, how-- how do I do that exactly?

It's--it's--

I was just saying which version of me do I--?

Hey, hey, hey--

-Oh, God. Oh, God! -It's okay, you're okay...

Just tell me how you feel, Richard.

-It's my arm-- -I'm gonna sit you up.

-Okay. -Call 911.

Oh...

I'm gonna take your pulse.

Just relax. I'm sure it's nothing.

Just stress. Breathe.

Are you taking any medication?

No, Dr. Gibbs, I am not.

That was perfect.

You got the part.

What you just did.

That's all I need. That was perfect.

-[laughing] -Welcome aboard, okay?

Yeah. I was acting. I am--

My heart is fine. Really.

-Jesus! -You got the part.

-Yes. -Well done.

[laughing]

-You have children? -Mm, not that I'm aware of.

[chuckles] Wow. Well, okay.

Um, if--if you had children that you were aware of,

you would know that...

kids feel things passionately.

I've raised her to have a point of view and to express it.

-What can you do? -What can you do?

That's the question.

We can show people our own opinion.

We can--

We can show people that casinos are fun.

Family friendly fun.

I mean, I say we--we have a--

We have a casino night at the theater,

with, uh, games and drinks and--

wonderful food prepared by my husband.

People will come and they'll have a really good time.

What do you think?

Get your brother-in-law to host.

My-Richard? Why?

He's a celebrity! He'll be a draw, you know?

Tell him the proceeds will go fund his play.

Oh, well--

-I can't promise. -Yes, you can.

I--I can promise that I will see what I can do.

Uh, one more thing.

-My girlfriend, Nadia... -Yes.

She's got to be in that play.

[Russian accent] You know, Myrtle,

it's been dream of life

to see Paris in France.

Ah, it is sounding crazy,

but for years I promise me this.

I beat bush and tell Dr. Gibbs if I--

[Richard] Bup, bup.

The expression is that "I beat around the bush."

-What did I say? -You said "beat bush."

That's the same thing, no?

No, not the same at all.

In fact, do you want to use the script?

No, no, no, no, no. I know it.

I memorize it in head

because, you know, I want the part, Mrs. Gibbs.

I want to be on the stage

and you to make me great

because you are greatest American actor.

-All right. Yes. -Direct me now. Go!

Okay, very well.

Remember, you're talking to a friend.

You're confessing a secret dream that you've had for years

to your very good friend, all right?

So maybe a little bit, um, softer?

Go ahead.

[quietly] I beat bush and tell Dr. Gibbs

if I ever got legacy, I'd make him take me.

[loudly] He said no!

No!

[Richard] No.

Okay, well, the first part was definitely quieter,

but it's--it was as if you were conspiring in some way.

You were plotting a murder or something like that, you know?

-Good. -No, not good.

-Hm. -No, so a bit louder there.

And for the second part, which was very loud,

it seems like you're just yelling for--for no reason.

-Good. -Listen.

You just have to believe it.

More important, you have to make us,

the audience, believe it, you know?

[sighs] That is acting. That is acting.

It is making people believe

you are a thing even when you are not.

Uh, let's just keep going, okay?

And make--make me believe, hmm?

[sighs]

[quietly] Oh, Myrtle, it is...

-A little bit louder. -[louder] Sorry I mentioned...

-[quieter] anything... -A little softer...

only it seems to me...

[louder] that once in life

-you ought to see... -No, nah, nah...

a country where they don't talk English

and they don't want to even.

Hmm.

Hmm.

[chuckles]

This isn't--

[groans]

Please, just give her something small.

A child. An animal.

No, there's a horse, but we already cast it.

I thought you wanted to use the people

of our town in Our Town.

Yes. The local talent.

She doesn't qualify for that.

Can't you just--

How bad can she be?

Come here.

She was the last audition of the day.

[clears throat] So it's right here.

Oh, Myrtle, it is dream of life

to see Paris in France.

Oh, it is sounding crazy! [laughing]

But for years I promised me this,

-I beat both-- -[keyboard clicks]

-Uh... -Yeah, she's raw.

Oh, my God, is she flirting with you?

I wouldn't hold that against her.

That's the least of her problems.

Just--just please.

Just think about it.

I can't...

not think about it.

You agreed to work with me

to save the theater in the town, remember?

Yes, of course.

I'm organizing an event at the theater,

a casino night.

The proceeds will go to your play.

Boyle would like you to emcee,

maybe sing a song.

Everybody loves to hear you sing.

I am not performing monkey.

Oh, just fuck off!

I worked so hard to keep this town alive.

I have literally--I have unclogged sewers in the rain

with my bare hands.

All I'm asking you to do is just put on a tux and smile!

My God. Just do it!

Please, just do it for me.

All right. On one condition.

If I'm going to demean myself,

you have to demean yourself right along with me.

Okay, what does that mean?

That means you have to sing a song.

No, no, no, no, no. I--I do not sing.

We'll sing a duet, okay?

-Why? -Why?

Well, it'll prove to me

that we are, in fact, working together.

You and me.

It'll be fun.

I don't see why you have to decide not to go

to agricultural school right now.

It's a whole year away.

Listen, Emily.

I think that once you've found a person you're very fond of,

I mean a person who's fond of you, too,

and likes you enough to be interested in your character,

I think that's just as important as going to college.

Even more so.

That's what I think.

How'd you do that?

Emily is Miranda, right?

So I--I pretended like I was talking to her.

I mean, your uncle was crying.

Like I made him cry.

I don't think I made an adult cry

without, like, dropping something on them

or something like that.

That's good, right? I mean...

We could be in the play together now.

Yeah. Yeah. No, sorry.

I'm--I'm really happy.

It's just--

Okay, don't freak out.

-Okay. -It came today.

Holy shit, you got into Penn!

-You got in! -Shh!

[quietly ]I--I told you you'd get into--

I'm not going.

But I thought that we were going.

No, I said I'm not going.

Do not tell my mom, okay?

Yeah, sure.

[Heath] ♪ With friends and fame and money ♪

♪ Funny I believe ♪

♪ That I really... ♪

How can you get any work done here?

What?

How can you get any work done?

Oh, I just--I like working in the theater.

But Nunsense?

♪ Something more ♪

It's actually growing on me.

I mean, it's catchy.

I mean, I like the-- I like the blending

of Jewish jokes and Catholics jokes.

And what's that guy's name?

-Heath. -Heath?

Yeah. I've hung out with him.

-Yeah? -He's hot.

Yeah. That he is. Yes.

And, I mean, he's good.

-He stands out. -Yeah, yeah.

He reminds me of a young me.

He's got the charisma and the...

stage presence.

♪ That's when you fill in the blanks ♪

Can you see him as a possible George?

I thought you were thinking of Randall for George.

I am, I am, but I mean,

Randall's young and innocent

and gangly and he's madly in love with you, clearly.

This guy's got--

He's got of a thing, you know?

♪ I've never known I'd love like this before ♪

♪ I've never known before ♪

♪ I love that I knew ♪

[people chattering]

[piano playing]

[jazz playing]

Hello, everybody,

and welcome to Casino Night at the MFT.

[cheering and applause]

A chance for all of us

to indulge those wonderful vices

that we're not allowed to indulge most of the time,

gambling and drinking.

[applause and laughing]

Remember, all the proceeds for this evening

go to our next production at MFT of Our Town,

which is going to be starring...

our town!

[crowd laughing]

So the more you lose,

the better our production will look.

[laughing]

We owe it all to our friend,

our visionary Mr. Connor Boyle.

[applause]

So bet, bet, bet.

Roll, roll, roll,

spin, spin, spin

and have fun!

[crowd cheering]

[jazz resumes]

Perky enough for you?

Well, it's a little passive-aggressive, but--

Do me a favor. Pass these around.

I want to hit the craps table before the dice get cold.

-Uh-- -Thanks!

He's excited, isn't he?

What the hell?

Okay, you look like you've never held a tray

of hors d'oeuvres in your life.

-I haven't. -All right, do that.

-What do I do with them? -Leave them there.

You give them to people.

[jazz playing]

Oh, whoa!

[crowd cheering]

Pay the line! Pay the line!

I'm making the dice dance!

Richard.

Hi.

Uh, Johnny Depp is basing Edward Scissorshand on dog.

I'm sorry. What?

Johnny Depp has a little dog and he's saying

he's basing Edward Scissorhand character on this dog.

Now, I have cat, Chunky Lorna.

She has always a secret.

She has only one eye.

And I'm thinking to myself,

what if my character, Ms. Gibbs--

what if she is based on cat?

Wouldn't that be great?

Now listen, I haven't made any final decisions on casting.

There's a lot involved in casting more than just talent.

There's sensibility and temperament and...

height, accent, and things like that.

Uh, oh!

I'm needed. I have to emcee.

-Excuse me. -Yes.

[jazz playing]

And now for a special treat, ladies and gentlemen,

there's a certain lady in the house

who is going to recreate a song

she sang on this very stage many, many years ago

when she was just a girl in the chorus.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you Mayor Kristen Bean.

-[piano playing] -[applause]

[cheering]

[piano playing]

[quietly] I thought this was supposed to be a duet.

She's a little shy, ladies and gentlemen.

Let's show her a little love, shall we?

[cheering]

-I hate you. -I know.

[seductive music playing]

♪ The minute you walked in the joint ♪

♪ I could see you were a man of distinction ♪

♪ A real big spender ♪

♪ Good looking, so refined ♪

[applause]

♪ Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind? ♪

♪ Let me get right to the point ♪

♪ I don't pop my cork for every guy I see ♪

♪ Hey, big spender ♪

Whoo!

[guests laughing]

♪ Spend ♪

♪ A little time with me ♪

[applause]

♪ Do you want to have fun, fun, fun? ♪

[audience laughing]

♪ How's about a few laughs, laughs, laughs? ♪

♪ I can show you a good time ♪

[guests laughing]

♪ Hey, big spender ♪

[guests] ♪ Hey, big spender ♪

♪ Hey, big spender ♪

[guests] ♪ Hey, big spender ♪

♪ Spend ♪

♪ A little time with ♪

-[blows dice] -♪ Me ♪

-[music ends] -[cheering]

-The mayor killed it. -[cheering, whistling]

I've said this before.

You are an artist and you need your own restaurant.

That's easier said than done.

Hey, you come to see me and I will make this happen.

-Really? -Really.

[jazz playing]

Here she is now.

So, what happened to "I insist we be demeaned together"?

-Oh, did I say that? -Hm. Mm-hm.

Like, I don't know, in the moment, it just--

I don't know, I thought it would be better for you to be,

you know, demeaned all by yourself

as a kind of confidence-builder.

But you killed it, okay?

You crushed it.

So, hats off to you...

Madam Mayor.

It didn't completely suck, did it?

-[chuckles] -No.

No. No.

Richard, I do roulette. You be my Bond girl.

Come. This way.

I need your good luck.

-[Richard] Good luck? -[Nadia] Yes.

[guests chattering]

[jazz playing]

Ooh!

What-- What are you doing here?

I spoke to Nadia.

This--

Nadia is interested in acting.

She's not interested in me.

She said you didn't cast her in Our Town.

Why not?

Well, she's--she falls short in--in--in certain areas.

-We're looking for-- -Look...

do you understand how hard a man's life can be

when his girlfriend is not happy?

-Yes, I do. -Yeah.

It's a--a special kind of hell.

No, I know.

I used to date Kristen.

-You did? -Uh...

Wow. Your brother's wife?

Before they were married, obviously.

So yeah, she was very unhappy.

But Kristen isn't Russian.

Hm?

The Russians have a very profound understanding of misery

and how to inflict it on other people.

[quietly] Just give her the fucking part.

I mean, how bad can she be?

Uh...

[muttering]

[Nadia] Now, Myrtle, I gotta tell you something.

Because if I don't tell somebody, I'll burst!

One of those secondhand furniture men from Boston

came to see me last [loudly] Friday!

First, I thought--

-How much? -How much what?

How much would it cost to, uh, put her into the show?

Connor, this isn't a transaction.

We're talking about an artistic endeavor.

Well, you're two months behind in your loan payment

and you're currently on a payment holiday,

which I'm willing to extend until after you open.

And you're gonna have to...

renovate and buy props and paint and other...

arty shite, so...

write down a number.

All right.

[pen clicks]

Fuck me. That's a big number.

You saw the video.

Done.

Really?

Oh, uh--

How do we deal with this?

Just make out a check with that number on it

and everybody will be happy.

And also you could help me out if--

I need a place to store 200 theater seats.

I've got three empty spaces on Main Street.

Yeah. It's a wee dawdle.

Oh, and can we just keep this between the two of us?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Thanks.

Ooh, hee, hee--

[chuckling]

[upbeat jazz playing]