All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.of.Payne.S14E22.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

[music]

Mom, I'm just saying,
there are no microwaves

How am I gonna heat up
the chicken?

You're not going to
heat up the chicken.

So I'm gonna serve this man
cold fried chicken?

Yes, you are going to,
you know what?

You are going to serve
him cold chicken.

You know why?

Because cold chicken
is actually really good.

You're going to put this chicken
in the cooler part of your bag,

and you're going
to serve it to him.

It's going to be one of the
many joys of going to a picnic.

-Have you ever been on a picnic?
-Yes, I have.

And you know what else
you need to do?

You need to pack some
of those canned peaches

-that we did with Aunt Ella.
-OK.

He's gonna like it.
This is gonna be kind of cute.

Mom, you geeking out right now,
and I need you to chill.

I am not geeking out, all right?

I know I really
didn't like that Jaxon--

You know I didn't really like
that Jaxon at the beginning,

but I've always been a fan
of dating and finding new love.

I really hate dating
and finding new love.

OK, did y'all plan that?

-OK. Hey.
-Yes, yes.

[Janine] Breathe. Breathe.
Dating has its ebbs and flows.

Just calmly
tell us what happened.

-Is this about Jevontay?
-Who else?

All right,
let's just reserve judgment.

Tell us what you think happened.

OK. So, recently I noticed
that the communication

had gotten a little strange.
You know, no good morning text.

When I text him,
he's slow to text back.

No lunchtime phone call.

So I was like, "OK,
you know what, Miranda?

"Don't trip.
You're gonna see him on Friday,

-You can talk about it then."
-OK, good. I'm proud of you.

You didn't jump
to any conclusions.

And so then yesterday,
I do not hear from him at all.

-Zip?
-[Miranda] Nothing.

So you know what I say?

I'm going to text him
and ask him,

"Are we still on for tonight?"

-Yeah.
-Crickets. I hear nothing.

And then 30 minutes after
he was supposed to pick me up,

I get a text saying
he was unable to make it

because he had to
go pick up his son.

Wait, he got kids?

Oh, yeah, that's another story
for another day.

I was trying to
hold out hope for homeboy,

-but it's fading fast.
-Yeah, my hope is gone.

OK, so I was trying not
to be disappointed.

I said, "OK,
you know what, Miranda?

You are going
to salvage this evening,"

Mm-hmm.

"And you're not going
to worry about this."

However, I couldn't stop
thinking about him.

And so then I went
into detective mode.

-No.
-What'd you do?

You know, I said, "Hmm,
where was it that you went

on your first date with him?"

You told me, oh,
the new steakhouse!

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Brennan's.

So I got in my car
and I drove it to Brennan's.

-Miranda, you did not.
-Yes, I did.

Please don't tell
me he was there.

Oh, let me tell you.
So here I am,

I am sauntering through
the beautiful dining room,

the intimate, sexy lighting
and all this stuff.

This man is on a date
with another chick.

Lies!

[laughs]

And in the same booth.

[birds chirping]

[airplane flying
overhead]

[car alarm blaring,
horn honking]

[sirens wailing]

[helicopter blades
whirring]

Not the same booth!

I promise you,
I cannot make this shit up!

-Did he see you?
-Oh, girl, no.

He didn't see me because he was
too busy wining and dining

his little date in the
same booth that we were in.

Oh, did I mention the fact

had the same bottle of wine
with her that he had brought me?

Oh, this dude is whack.
Did you say something to him?

Girl, no.

I would have straight up
embarrassed him.

Oh, my gosh.
I am so sorry, Miranda.

No, no, no.
Honestly, actually, it's fine.

I am happy that it happened.

-You're happy?
-Absolutely.

Because I'm grateful
that I'm able to see who he is,

who he truly is,
in the beginning.

Because there is nothing worse

than getting invested
emotionally, financially,

all the "llys,"

only to find out that someone
is full of it years later.

Wait, did he at least
try to call you?

I don't know, I blocked him.

-That's what I'm talking about.
-No, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't have time for
his little bogus explanation,

the "What had happened was,"
and his lies.

You know, as I always say,
everything happens for a reason.

-And I believe that.
-That's true.

Now you can meet the guy you're
actually supposed to be with.

But can it happen soon, God?
I'm not getting any younger.

We are going to touch
and agree that that man

is going to manifest himself in
your life soon, amen.

Yes, today. Hallelujah.

-Please and thank you.
-[Janine] Yeah.

-[laughs]
-Y'all silly.

I know. It's just, I mean,
that would be so lovely.

Because truthfully,
I miss being a wife.

Girl, be careful
what you wish for.

[Janine] Hey, my angel.

Hey, baby.
What's going on in here?

Well, Jazmine is getting ready
to go out on a picnic.

-Picnic? With who? Jaxon?
-Yes, with Jaxon.

-[Janine] Mm-hmm.
-And what about you, Janine?

Oh, Miranda and I are going to
the fancy fundraiser luncheon,

the one we've been going to
for the last few years.

-[Miranda] Mm-hmm.
-And what about me?

Well, you can
man the fort by yourself.

Oh, you know what you can do?

You can go and price that
treadmill to put in the back

that I've been hinting at for
months and months and months.

Mm. Treadmill.
That sounds expensive.

Why is it with husbands that any
time the wife wants something,

it costs too much money.

Because wives always want
something that's expensive.

But it's OK.
I will just stay here, alone,

by myself, and save money.

Aw, I love it, Janine. He wants
you to stay here with him.

Girl, he'll be all right.

-Daddy.
-Yeah, baby?

Why don't you go see what
Uncle Curtis is doing today?

-Uncle Curtis?
-Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. That's a good idea.

Yeah, I'm sure he'd love
to hang out with you.

Yeah, thank you for that.
I'm going to do that.

[knock on door]

Curtis! Where were you raised?
With a pack of wolves?

Are you calling me
an animal, Glo?

Well, if the tail fits.

I know you don't want to talk
about who looks like an animal.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What in the world
is going on in here?

It'sThe Call of the Wild!

Your husband just
closed the door in my face.

Curtis, don't do that to Glo.

I had all kinds of joy in
my heart coming over here

until I encountered that beast.

Well, it takes one to know one.
What do you want, Glo?

I was coming over here
to pick up your wife.

We're going to the Women in
Christ Empowerment Conference

down at the convention center.

-And I'm ready.
-[Glo] OK.

-Let me swap purses.
-OK.

Curtis, what are you
going to do, baby,

about getting me
my tankless water heater?

Baby, what's wrong
with the one we got?

Curtis, don't do this.
Now, that thing is no good.

Ella, we don't have extra money

just laying around for all these
upgrades you want to do.

You know what's funny?

He can always find money to do
the stuff that he wants to do.

You know what's funnier?

I'm not the one going on
a fancy, expensive conference.

Curtis, I have to get out
of this house sometimes.

You should do the same.

Don't encourage him to go out
in public, Ella!

Talk to the hand, Glo.
Talk to the hand.

-Whatever. Whatever.
-[Curtis] Both sides of it.

Baby, y'all going to be all day?

Curtis, don't start now.
I told you that last week.

What if I need something to eat?

Then you'll have
to go out back and graze.

-Ha! Not funny!
-Whatever.

Look, baby,
I'm going to miss you, Ella.

That's all.
I'm going to miss you.

You know, as much
as you aggravate me, Curtis,

I do love how you
adore your wife.

And don't you worry, Glo.

One day you'll find an alpaca
that wants to marry you.

You may have to catch it.

You know what? You are
not going to... Shut up.

You are not going to steal
my joy today, Curtis Payne.

-Curtis, be nice. I love you.
-[Curtis] Love you, baby.

-And try to have a good day.
-I'll try.

I'll just stay here
and save us money.

Let's go, Glo.

He's going to try to guilt trip
me into staying here with him.

-Let's go.
-Bye, Grumpy.

Bye, Mrs. Paca.
Tell Al I said hey.

[knocks on glass door]

There's my man right there.
There's my cat right there.

Huh? What you got? What you got?

-I hope you ready, Unc.
-Well, don't you hope!

Don't you hope nothing,
I'm ready.

-Oh, let me get my cash.
-OK.

You sure Aunt Ella's
not going to notice

you leaving
to go play poker?

She ain't going to know nothing.
She went...

Gloria, they went to
that church conference thing.

They're going to be there
all day.

Not going to suspect a thing.

And CJ, you should have seen me.
Oh, I put it on.

I was acting all sad all day.
I be sad all day.

I played it the same way,

because Janine and Miranda
are going to hang out all day.

And I said, "Oh, you leaving?

Oh, I'm going to be here home
alone by myself."

I taught you well.

-[CJ] Yes, you did.
-I taught you well.

-[CJ] Yeah.
-OK, come on.

Let's go get this money.
I'm feeling lucky.

And I'm feeling luckier.
And I got a stash myself.

That is music to my ears.
Let's do this, nephew!

Hey Dad, what are you doing?

Oh well, I'm checking
my email for work.

Oh, you look bored.

-Bored? Me? No.
-What are we doing tonight?

Tonight? Nothing.

-Are you doing anything tonight?
-No, Junior.

Dad, you broke up with Laura.
Why don't you get out sometime?

You look lonely,
bored, and pathetic.

Uh, boy, go in there

and play one of
your video games or something.

Don't get mad at me
because you all by yourself.

Bored? Pathetic?
Boy, I'm popping!

No, I'm not.

What the hell.

Hey Miranda, what you doing?

Oh, OK, did I catch you
at a bad time?

Oh, OK. Well, um,
look, if you, uh,

if you're not doing anything
after you finish with Janine,

and if you don't
have any plans with your dude,

I was kind of thinking, uh,

maybe you could
come here this evening and, uh,

spend some time
with me and the boys.

I mean, I mean, you don't have
to or nothing like that, but...

You can?

Really? OK.

OK, well, all right, I guess
I'll see you later tonight.

[music]

What did I just do?

Man, I told you
I was feeling lucky today.

You did. You did.

I mean, we ain't never
come up like this, nephew.

Well man, let me get home
and get back on the sofa

and look like I'm bored.

OK. Sounds good. Oh, that's her.

The TV! Turn on the TV

Come on. And just, we need to be
asleep. We need to be asleep.

[Ella] ♪Woo
It's time to get right♪

Aw, Curtis. Look at y'all.
Look at here. Look at here.

Curtis. CJ. Curtis!

-[Curtis grumbles]
-You are not that sleepy.

Well, let me go on and get home.

OK, baby.
Well, enjoy your evening.

-Love you.
-Love you too, CJ.

-Curtis! How was your day?
-Well, I mean, it was all right.

I'm just laying right here
waiting on you,

Well Curtis, thank you
for doing without me today.

Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah.
Oh, look here, baby. Look here.

I been thinking.

You know, I've been
saving up for something.

I was gonna get that
barbecue set I talked about.

Guess what? I don't need that.

You go ahead on, baby.
You take this.

-And you go on--
-What about the...

You just get that water heater
you was talking about.

Curtis! Yes, baby!

-You get the invoice me.
-I did right.

I made the right choice when I
said yes to you, didn't I?

Thank you, baby.

Thank you, Curtis. I mean it,
really. I appreciate you.

It ain't nothing.
Ella, you do so much for me.

-How was the conference, baby?
-Oh, Curtis.

Mmm. Curtis.

Listen, let me tell you
something. It was life-changing.

OK, baby?
It was about forgiveness,

same thing I been dealing with
in my Bible study.

[bangs on sofa]

Forgiving one another!
Forgiving this one,

forgiving that one,

forgiving yourself,
and moving on!

-Sounds interesting, baby.
-Curtis, it spoke to me all day.

This thing with Laura,
it just had me knotted up.

I didn't like that, Curtis.
I didn't.

Now baby,
I told you to let that go.

I did. I did it today.
I closed that chapter, Curtis.

Closed it today!
I'm free from this. I'm free!

[music]

-Hey, baby.
-Hey.

Sorry I took so long
to get here.

The luncheon started late,
and then it went long,

and I had to stop
and put gas in the car,

-and it was a whole thing.
-Yeah. How was the fundraiser?

It was good, it was good.
Good food, good entertainment.

-We had a blast.
-Oh, that's great. That's great.

Aw. How was your day?

-It was OK.
-Aw.

-I just hung around here.
-Mm-hmm.

You know, just chilled
by myself. You know.

I'm really glad you were
able to do that, baby.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

But I did do one thing.

What?

Worked on a budget.

That's good, that's good.

So that means
you're gonna be able to,

you know, go get your treadmill.

[screams giddily]
Thank you! That's for me?

-Yeah, that's all you.
-I love you!

-Yeah, yeah.
-[Kisses CJ]

-Who got the greatest husband?
-Me!

Who is the greatest husband
in the world?

-You.
-That's what I'm talking about.

-Right there.
-Yes.

-Ooh, what did I walk in on?
-A lot.

-Hey, y'all.
-Hi, baby.

-[Jazmine] Ooh, money, money--
-No, no, no, no, no. Details.

No. Details.
How was your picnic?

-So good.
-Yeah? Look at you.

-You look happy.
-Yeah. You're glowing.

Y'all can't, stop. Y'all are
gonna make me blush. Stop.

Looks like you really
like this Jaxon guy, huh?

He's actually pretty great.

Well, how did he go from

"I really don't like him,"
to "He's great," in a week?

I don't know. Sometimes you
gotta forgive people, all right?

Oh, a great man once said--

Mm-hmm. You told me
that like last week.

-Miranda.
-Huh?

I wanted to do the cleaning.

You was just supposed to
come have dinner with us.

Listen, it is the least
I could do,

helping to clean up since my
three guys made dinner for me.

I appreciate it, Calvin.

Hey, well, I appreciate you
coming to hang with us.

Of course. There is no other way

that I would have liked
to have spent my evening.

-Really?
-Yeah.

I thought you would have been
tied up with, uh... Jaquan?

-Ja... Jadort?
-Jevontay.

Jevontay.
I knew it was something hood.

Ha-ha. Well,
there is no more Jevontay.

Y'all broke up?

Calvin, it was never official.

I was just, you know,
trying to dip my little toe

into the dating pool,
but, huh, he ain't it.

-He's not?
-No.

Listen, it is hard out here
in these dating streets.

-Are you OK?
-I'm fine.

Why don't you go get the boys?

Got it.
Uh, Christian, Junior, come on.

Oh, let's get ready
for our movie night!

-[Children] Yay!
-And I made cookies.

Yes! Oatmeal raisin?

-Uh, you know it.
-And I popped the popcorn.

Oh. OK, wait.

Um, blankets.
Who has the blankets?

-I'll get them.
-OK, go get them for me, baby.

OK. Um, what else do we need?

-You got the movie set up?
-Yes, I did.

-OK, get the lights.
-Got it.

-Thanks, baby. Come on.
-[Calvin] All right.

[Miranda] One for you,
one for you, one for you.

-[Miranda] OK.
-[Calvin] All right.

[Miranda] Ooh,
this is gonna be good!

[music]

"With love always, Ella Payne."

Ooh, God.

"Dear Laura, I hope this letter

"finds you happy and at peace.

"I know that we have not spoken
or had an opportunity

"to bring closure
to the disagreements

"that caused both of us
so much anger,

"disappointment, and hurt.

"Please, Laura,
allow me to apologize.

"I really am sorry.

"I try always to be
a loving woman,

"but sometimes I fall short.
God is not done with me yet.

"I never wanted to hurt you,

"and I pray that you can
forgive me one day.

"You will always
remain in my prayers,

"and if you ever
need me for anything,

regardless of what happens
with you and Calvin-- "

[chuckles]

"--please know I am here.

With love, Ella Payne."

Well, those two
are out like a light.

I knew that they were
not gonna make it

to the end of that movie.

None of us made it
to the end of that movie.

I know, right?

Um...

you know, it's getting late.

I should, um,
I should get going home.

Wait, hold on.
Miranda, can I talk to you?

Uh, yes, Cal?

Tonight was good.

It was.

Miranda, uh, I know
that you're gonna think

-I'm crazy for saying this.
-OK.

But you've been on
my mind nonstop lately.

And Laura and I, we didn't
work out because she's not you.

[sighs]

Calvin, um, what are you saying?

I'm saying, Miranda Payne,
that I love you.

And I never stopped loving you.

And I want to try us again.

Calvin.

Look, Miranda, I promise you
this time I will be

the best man
that you've ever had.

Do you still love me?

More than you will ever know.

[soft, romantic music]

[music]

[music]

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