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1
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So I decided it'd be best if I dropped
the bombshell before either one of us
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fell any harder for each other.
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00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:32,530
What's wrong?
4
00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:35,110
I have to tell you something.
5
00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:38,370
Ooh, that sounds ominous.
6
00:00:39,050 --> 00:00:44,030
You have to promise me that you're going
to let me say what I have to say, and
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00:00:44,030 --> 00:00:47,670
you're not going to freak out, but
you'll let me get through what I have to
8
00:00:47,710 --> 00:00:49,170
okay? Okay, I promise.
9
00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:54,250
What about the whole online dating
thing?
10
00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:56,050
The other guy you've been talking to?
11
00:00:57,350 --> 00:01:01,030
Kevin. Don't start putting your surly
spin on my relationship with Steve.
12
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Don't you mean surly, Steve?
13
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,010
Well, he's not nearly as surly as you.
14
00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:12,530
Well, I mean, Gina, you never know who
you're talking to on the internet,
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I mean, that could be anybody.
16
00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:15,710
I know. I watched The Catcher Predator.
17
00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:17,550
I'm being serious.
18
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:19,930
Kevin, stop worrying.
19
00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:25,550
All right, look, just listen to me for a
second, okay?
20
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:05,660
Coming clean to Gina was important, but
coming clean to Gina right after Wendy
21
00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:12,440
unloaded all the gory details of her one
-night stand, it just didn't seem like
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00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,440
the right time.
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00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,980
So I made a stealthy getaway.
24
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,760
Okay, okay.
25
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,600
I'm going to take a nap.
26
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:27,920
Nice suit.
27
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,960
And I'll clean that up later too, okay?
28
00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:38,980
Please, keep the shrieking down to a
minimum, okay?
29
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:40,920
Please.
30
00:02:58,480 --> 00:02:59,960
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What?
31
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,120
Before we, um, do anything... Do each
other?
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Have sex, there's just one thing I want
to make clear. No, it's okay. I get it.
33
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,560
This is just one night stand. If I don't
see you again, I won't be offended.
34
00:03:11,780 --> 00:03:13,240
It's just that... Well, no.
35
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:14,700
Not exactly.
36
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,440
What I wanted to say is... I had a great
time with you tonight, Wendy.
37
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:22,500
And I figured that... I had a great
time, too. It's okay.
38
00:03:22,940 --> 00:03:24,640
Like... Well, hold up. Yeah.
39
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,560
Let me just say this first.
40
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:34,590
Um, I know this is going to sound kind
of weird, considering that we just met,
41
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:38,430
but what are you doing Sunday night?
42
00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:41,250
I'd like to take you on an actual date.
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00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,890
You're thinking about taking me on a
date when you haven't even had sex yet?
44
00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:48,710
It's kind of stupid, huh?
45
00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:54,210
It's not stupid, it's sweet, but what if
the sex sucks?
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00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:57,130
I don't think the sex is going to suck.
47
00:25:16,910 --> 00:25:17,910
You're here.
48
00:25:18,090 --> 00:25:19,630
And you found me.
49
00:25:19,870 --> 00:25:23,730
How did you even get this address? Not
that I mind at all, but I didn't even
50
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tell you my last name.
51
00:25:25,130 --> 00:25:26,049
Wait, wait.
52
00:25:26,050 --> 00:25:27,150
What are you talking about?
53
00:25:27,390 --> 00:25:30,650
Oh, man, and you're way hotter in
person.
54
00:25:31,330 --> 00:25:34,290
Oh, nice to finally meet you.
55
00:25:34,870 --> 00:25:37,250
Nina, do you know where our antifer
shampoo went?
56
00:25:37,630 --> 00:25:38,630
Wendy!
57
00:25:40,070 --> 00:25:41,310
Hey. Hey!
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00:25:41,810 --> 00:25:46,060
Listen, I know it's only been 30
minutes, but... I couldn't wait until
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to see you again. Aw, I'm so glad you
didn't. Um, excuse me, but what is going
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on here?
61
00:25:53,020 --> 00:25:55,720
Sorry, Gina. This is Cameron, the guy
from last night.
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00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,720
He told you his name was Cameron?
63
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:58,960
My name is Cameron.
64
00:25:59,420 --> 00:26:01,700
Oh, okay, Surly Steve.
65
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,400
Surly Steve?
66
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:04,700
Your name's Steve?
67
00:26:05,340 --> 00:26:06,340
Kevin!
68
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:07,920
What are you doing here?
69
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:10,600
Hey, Cameron.
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I live here.
71
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,880
You know him?
72
00:26:15,690 --> 00:26:16,690
We work together.
73
00:26:16,970 --> 00:26:18,770
He's the guy who's been emailing me.
74
00:26:18,990 --> 00:26:20,110
You've been emailing her?
75
00:26:20,690 --> 00:26:22,070
Oh, this isn't good.
76
00:26:22,450 --> 00:26:23,450
What isn't good?
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Gina.
78
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,210
I'm Surly Steve.
79
00:26:32,010 --> 00:26:34,410
What do you mean you're Surly Steve?
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00:26:34,830 --> 00:26:36,490
You said he was Surly Steve.
81
00:26:36,850 --> 00:26:37,850
I'm Cameron.
82
00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:39,230
I'm Steve.
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00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:41,210
Oh, I'm so confused.
84
00:26:41,870 --> 00:26:44,030
Steve is the guy I met online.
85
00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:47,530
The guy I fell for online.
86
00:26:48,210 --> 00:26:51,110
The guy this guy looks like.
87
00:26:52,930 --> 00:26:55,970
Well, I can assure you I'm not that guy.
88
00:26:58,350 --> 00:27:00,090
What the hell is going on?
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Okay.
90
00:27:05,530 --> 00:27:06,530
Moment of truth.
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00:27:08,930 --> 00:27:14,500
Cameron, I uploaded one of your photos
on my... online dating profile.
92
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And I called myself Shirley Steve.
93
00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:27,160
And somehow, by some odd coincidence,
Gina contacted me thinking it was you.
94
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:30,980
But it was really just me.
95
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:35,000
The me that looks like you, whatever
that means.
96
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,800
Anyway, I never meant to hurt you.
97
00:27:41,390 --> 00:27:42,950
That's not what this is about at all.
98
00:27:44,310 --> 00:27:45,950
You've got to be kidding me.
99
00:27:47,490 --> 00:27:50,130
I wish I was.
100
00:27:50,630 --> 00:27:54,830
I can't believe you used my picture
without asking me. And lied to your so
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-called best friends.
102
00:27:58,990 --> 00:28:03,430
You are nothing more than a lying sack
of shit.
103
00:28:04,990 --> 00:28:06,490
A total sack of shit.
104
00:28:09,070 --> 00:28:10,490
Who's now in deep shit?
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Sitting on a train to nowhere
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Wondering what I've done and where
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I've been Thinking of the times
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I spent with you dear Wishing I could
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have those times again
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Feeling that I could have made it better
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Knowing that I should have seen
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it through Riding on this
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train to nowhere Because it
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doesn't take me to you
115
00:31:08,889 --> 00:31:10,070
Hello? Hi, asshole.
116
00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:12,130
Did you call to verbally berate me?
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I said, but no.
118
00:31:14,350 --> 00:31:16,550
Well, Gina's not been here in weeks.
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00:31:17,170 --> 00:31:19,510
Um, where's she been today?
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00:31:20,510 --> 00:31:21,510
Cameron.
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00:31:23,630 --> 00:31:26,170
He never said anything to me about that.
122
00:31:26,470 --> 00:31:28,090
I mean, not like he's talking to me.
123
00:31:28,770 --> 00:31:33,070
You know, Kevin, I think I understand
why you did what you did, but you went
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about it a really shitty way.
125
00:31:35,610 --> 00:31:36,750
Well, how's she been?
126
00:31:37,740 --> 00:31:41,280
How do you think she's been? She's hurt,
but she misses you like crazy.
127
00:31:42,340 --> 00:31:43,960
Yeah, I miss her too.
128
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,760
You know, she's coming over tonight to
pick up a dress that she's going to wear
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to a party, and I just thought you might
want to know.
130
00:31:51,460 --> 00:31:52,780
Kevin, do the right thing.
131
00:31:53,020 --> 00:31:56,640
Tell her how you feel. She might be
pissed as hell at you, but she's still
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best friend.
133
00:32:06,730 --> 00:32:08,030
At this point, I had no choice.
134
00:32:09,330 --> 00:32:15,470
I could either run away and let Gina
think I'm a lying sack of shit, or I
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00:32:15,470 --> 00:32:16,470
be a man and face the truth.
136
00:32:30,130 --> 00:32:31,390
Very cute, Kevin.
137
00:32:31,830 --> 00:32:33,230
Or should I call you Steve?
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Or, oh wait, maybe Cameron.
139
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,360
Can you just hear me out for a minute?
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00:32:38,740 --> 00:32:42,880
I don't have time to hear you out. I'm
going to a party tonight, and I need to
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00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:43,839
get ready.
142
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:44,840
Gina, please.
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00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,160
Kevin, you humiliated me in front of
everyone.
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00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:53,340
The one person I trusted above everyone
lied to me. How do you think that made
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me feel?
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00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:58,180
Not nearly as bad as it made me feel
doing it. Oh, bullshit.
147
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:02,000
You were the one that emailed Shirley
Steve. I didn't go seeking you out.
148
00:33:02,340 --> 00:33:05,540
Why did you create him to begin with,
and why didn't you come clean when I
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00:33:05,540 --> 00:33:06,540
emailed you?
150
00:33:06,730 --> 00:33:07,730
You want to know why?
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00:33:07,990 --> 00:33:08,990
You want to know why?
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00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:12,850
Because for the first time in my life, I
felt like you saw me outside of the
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friend zone.
154
00:33:14,730 --> 00:33:17,550
I mean, I had a chance with you.
155
00:33:18,350 --> 00:33:23,450
And as much as I knew it was wrong to
do, I didn't want to tell you the truth
156
00:33:23,450 --> 00:33:26,350
because I liked the way you saw me when
you thought I was someone else.
157
00:33:27,250 --> 00:33:28,450
Weren't you someone else?
158
00:33:29,770 --> 00:33:31,950
I looked like somebody else, okay?
159
00:33:32,350 --> 00:33:35,250
But every thought, every joke, every
word, those were mine.
160
00:33:35,850 --> 00:33:37,210
Not Cameron's. Mine.
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00:33:38,690 --> 00:33:40,250
And you know what's really funny?
162
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You liked that guy.
163
00:33:42,610 --> 00:33:45,010
You wanted to be with that guy. He was
the perfect guy.
164
00:33:45,310 --> 00:33:46,310
Your word.
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00:33:46,330 --> 00:33:48,230
The perfect guy that you invented.
166
00:33:49,230 --> 00:33:50,790
I have news for you, okay?
167
00:33:51,450 --> 00:33:53,570
Nothing in this life comes in a perfect
package.
168
00:33:54,150 --> 00:33:56,430
Oh, you made that quite clear.
169
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Come on, Gina. I know I hurt you.
170
00:34:01,370 --> 00:34:04,430
And you can't even imagine how sorry I
am for doing that.
171
00:34:06,260 --> 00:34:09,340
Would you answer me one question? Do me
the favor, please.
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00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,280
Tell me.
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00:34:11,980 --> 00:34:15,060
What the hell was so damn attractive
about Steve to begin with, huh?
174
00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:17,840
Was it his look or his personality?
175
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,179
What are you trying to prove to me by
wearing this anyway?
176
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,560
I want you to admit to me that the only
thing that's standing in the way of us
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being together is the fact that I don't
look like Cameron.
178
00:34:31,050 --> 00:34:34,949
And you know what? If it takes me
wearing a stupid mask in order for you
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00:34:34,949 --> 00:34:38,830
that I'm exactly the person for you,
I'll wear a damn bag on my head for the
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00:34:38,830 --> 00:34:39,830
rest of my life.
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00:34:40,810 --> 00:34:43,590
I want you, Gina.
182
00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:51,449
And I know somewhere deep down, beyond
all this superficial
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00:34:51,449 --> 00:34:54,370
bullshit, that you want me too.
184
00:35:10,410 --> 00:35:13,610
I'm not quite sure how to respond to
that.
185
00:35:15,550 --> 00:35:18,330
It's not the kind of superficial
bullshit you'd think.
186
00:35:18,930 --> 00:35:23,730
I've spent my entire life feeling that
in order to be happy, I needed a
187
00:35:23,730 --> 00:35:29,970
fairytale romance, to have someone sweep
me off my feet, to feel crazy passion
188
00:35:29,970 --> 00:35:34,710
and love, and I thought I could only
feel that with someone new, but...
189
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:40,200
Now I realize that I might be wrong
because of everything you said as Steve
190
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:45,280
true. All of those ridiculous notions
out the window.
191
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:47,160
Everything was true.
192
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:52,520
Except for the whole part about looking
like Cameron.
193
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:55,260
Well, Cameron's not you, Kevin.
194
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,400
Nobody's you except you.
195
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,200
Thank God for that, right?
196
00:36:02,570 --> 00:36:05,270
So how come you never told me you're
such a good kisser?
197
00:36:07,490 --> 00:36:09,230
There's a lot of things I never told
you.
198
00:36:10,330 --> 00:36:11,330
Like what?
199
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:13,420
I'm not too shabby or so.
200
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,540
You like me better with a bag on my
head.
201
00:37:17,980 --> 00:37:20,640
No, I like you better with...
202
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:36,520
So
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00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:37,520
many buttons.
204
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,320
No.
205
00:39:29,009 --> 00:39:30,009
Thank you.
206
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:19,960
Oh.
207
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,160
What you surprisingly have.
208
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,120
I'm glad it was a pleasant surprise.
209
00:46:58,840 --> 00:46:59,840
Oh, yeah.
210
00:46:59,980 --> 00:47:01,440
This wouldn't work out otherwise.
211
00:55:34,350 --> 00:55:35,350
How did you get those?
212
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:45,700
part about all of this?
213
00:59:46,700 --> 00:59:47,700
What's that?
214
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:54,420
Well, besides the fact that I just had
amazing sex with my best friend.
215
00:59:55,860 --> 00:59:56,900
Yes, go on.
216
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:05,200
We can finally take care of that
unopened, about to expire box of condoms
217
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:06,200
your sock drawer.
218
01:00:06,820 --> 01:00:07,820
Excuse me.
219
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,800
Magnum sized condoms. Oh, sorry.
220
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,560
I will never doubt you on that again.
221
01:00:14,670 --> 01:00:15,670
Thank you.
222
01:00:34,050 --> 01:00:35,050
So,
223
01:00:36,610 --> 01:00:41,830
there you have it. I went from the
friend zone to the boyfriend zone.
224
01:00:42,740 --> 01:00:45,680
It wasn't the easiest road, but it was
well worth it.
225
01:00:46,500 --> 01:00:50,100
So if you ever find yourself in a
similar position to the one I was in a
226
01:00:50,100 --> 01:00:52,120
weeks back, do yourself a favor.
227
01:00:53,660 --> 01:00:58,320
Create a fake online profile and seduce
your best girlfriend.
228
01:00:59,140 --> 01:01:01,200
Or stack up and be a man and tell her
how you feel.
229
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:04,320
It might actually work out for you.
230
01:01:06,420 --> 01:01:07,460
What are you doing?
231
01:01:08,020 --> 01:01:10,300
Who the hell are you talking to?
232
01:01:33,180 --> 01:01:39,960
I've never been too lucky in love I
233
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:43,490
give my all But it's never enough.
234
01:01:44,190 --> 01:01:50,650
Each time I give my heart away, it's the
same old sorry tale
235
01:01:50,650 --> 01:01:51,850
for me.
236
01:01:53,970 --> 01:01:57,830
Maybe I try too hard to impress.
237
01:01:58,490 --> 01:02:04,910
Chocolate, champagne, flowers, only the
best don't understand
238
01:02:04,910 --> 01:02:07,270
why it ain't enough.
239
01:02:07,490 --> 01:02:10,990
I guess I'm just unlucky in love.
240
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:16,840
I know that ladies don't like guys that
are tight.
241
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:21,660
That's why I buy them most everything in
sight.
242
01:02:22,940 --> 01:02:29,440
Trouble is, as soon as I do, if the
water's my catcher later,
243
01:02:29,700 --> 01:02:31,200
toodaloo.
244
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:38,600
Lucy with diamonds, Katie with pearls,
Island with boobies.
245
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:40,820
Has anyone seen these girls?
246
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:45,360
Bought birds and hats and pussycats, a
dolphin and a dove.
247
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:49,000
I guess I just ain't lucky in love.
248
01:02:50,420 --> 01:02:57,040
But Esther to the grand, Rosie to the
ritz, Janie to the
249
01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:59,560
metropole, through them all to bits.
250
01:03:00,590 --> 01:03:06,750
I never saw those girls after then. It's
the same old sorry tale
251
01:03:06,750 --> 01:03:07,790
again.
252
01:03:09,770 --> 01:03:13,710
Took Sue to Rome, took Jade to Paris.
253
01:03:14,650 --> 01:03:18,750
Grace came to Amsterdam, Sophie to
Capri.
254
01:03:19,550 --> 01:03:23,410
Maybe I shouldn't care, I know I've had
it tough.
255
01:03:23,670 --> 01:03:27,010
I guess I'm just not lucky in love.
256
01:03:29,580 --> 01:03:32,940
I know that ladies don't like guys that
are tight.
257
01:03:33,740 --> 01:03:37,560
That's why I buy them almost everything
inside.
258
01:03:39,020 --> 01:03:45,580
Trouble is, as soon as I do, it's a
watch if I catch you later
259
01:03:45,580 --> 01:03:47,740
to the loo.
260
01:03:48,140 --> 01:03:51,900
Songs without love, my heart will never
sing.
261
01:03:52,740 --> 01:03:56,620
Songs without love, it just don't mean a
thing.
262
01:03:57,440 --> 01:04:01,380
Because money can buy most anything, but
I guess it ain't enough.
263
01:04:01,820 --> 01:04:03,980
I guess I'm just not lucky.
264
01:04:06,520 --> 01:04:08,820
I guess I just ain't lucky.
265
01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:16,920
I guess I'm just not lucky in love.
266
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,040
In love.
19208
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