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1
00:00:00,940 --> 00:00:04,360
After 15 years as a journalist, I've
learned it's important to grab the
2
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,520
attention with a catchy headline.
3
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:09,620
Here's mine. Local woman, 37, ruins own
life.
4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:14,260
Five years ago, Nel Serrano threw away a
promising career to move to London for
5
00:00:14,260 --> 00:00:14,859
a man.
6
00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:15,860
I'm sleeping!
7
00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:19,800
She went all in on love, until a drop
kicked her in the face.
8
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:22,620
Now she's back, trying to stay hydrated.
9
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,380
But hey, who needs a promising career?
10
00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:28,680
A fairytale wedding?
11
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,740
Or clean underwear when you can wear
bathing suit bottoms.
12
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:35,020
Again.
13
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,900
The good news is, the weird roommate I
met on Craigslist is extremely back and
14
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:41,360
not passive -aggressive at all.
15
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,240
Oh, also, he makes me walk his dog.
16
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:46,480
Unfortunately, he's the shy pooper.
17
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,900
The dog, not the roommate. That's gross.
18
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:53,400
And all this made me late for my first
day back at my old job. But at least I
19
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,400
got the last parking spot.
20
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:55,700
So things are looking up.
21
00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:13,080
More on this ongoing disaster as it
unfolds.
22
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:33,980
Or late. But I told everyone that your
phone was still set on UK time and that
23
00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:37,080
you were donating blood. Okay, so act
kind of woozy. What if I act hungover?
24
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:41,260
What if I am hungover? So I got you a
plant for your first day. Hey. Of my old
25
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,400
job? Yeah, and some pens for your
birthday.
26
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:47,900
Oh, because I'm another year older.
Sports section. No, because I love you,
27
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,840
baby. No stealing, girls.
28
00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:53,020
You are not the boss of me. True. But I
am the boss of you.
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00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,480
Is it weird? It's weird that either of
you are the bosses of anybody, really.
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00:01:56,740 --> 00:02:00,880
Well, technically, she is the boss of
the lifestyle section, so that doesn't
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00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:01,598
really count.
32
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,880
Oh, I'm Mr. Metro. I have to edit a six
-part series about the changes in the
33
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:06,880
zoning by Liza.
34
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,280
I'm sorry, don't you have a meeting to
go to about, I'm going to say, sandals?
35
00:02:11,660 --> 00:02:12,660
Look, bitch.
36
00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:16,120
Actually, I am late to a meeting about
sandals.
37
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:17,900
Coffee later?
38
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:18,918
Yep.
39
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,260
So, what are you going to put me on?
40
00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:21,820
City beat?
41
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:22,840
Crime beat?
42
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:23,860
The deadbeat.
43
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:25,680
Oh, my God, you're putting me on
obituary.
44
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,240
Here's your new office.
45
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:28,500
Ta -da.
46
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,080
Ew.
47
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,640
Yeah, I'm not going to lie. This is a
closet.
48
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:34,700
That seems generous.
49
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:37,500
Look, you've got to jump back in
somewhere now.
50
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,860
It's right here. Your first obit.
51
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:45,200
Monty Waxberg, a musician you may know
for his most famous jingle, the Yum Yum
52
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,380
Bubblegum song. I hated that song as a
kid.
53
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:51,420
Don't judge a person by their jingle,
Nell. Everyone has a story.
54
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:52,770
And it's your job to find it.
55
00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:54,650
And don't touch that pipe.
56
00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:56,170
It'll strip your skin.
57
00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:01,510
This is on me.
58
00:03:02,170 --> 00:03:03,310
Give me one sec.
59
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:04,590
Oh, here, give me that.
60
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:05,950
Oh, see?
61
00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:07,650
This is why I love you. Still not a
party.
62
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:13,010
Nope. Your air horn's broken. That is
because it is a breath pump.
63
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:17,670
Do you remember when these boobs were
for, like, flashing people? Now they are
64
00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:18,750
for feeding people.
65
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,418
What happened to me?
66
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:22,720
You became a badass working mom.
67
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,460
Who? Made two of my favorite little
humans.
68
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:29,620
Yeah, I should warn you, Tilly still
likes to wear her flower girl dress to
69
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,480
school every day in case that's a
trigger.
70
00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:32,920
Way to punch it down, Tilly.
71
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:37,380
So, when you are ready to talk about
Philip, I have a bunch of nasty things
72
00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:39,840
written in my journal that I am so
excited to share with you.
73
00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:42,840
Oh, I don't want to do that. You know
what I want to do for my birthday? I
74
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:43,719
want to...
75
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,660
Throw down like we used to and pretend
it's not going to take me three days to
76
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,200
recover. Okay? Okay.
77
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:55,080
Oh, God. Oh, no. Hide me. Oh, uh -oh.
Nope. Hide me. What? Why? Where? What?
78
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:56,600
Who? In scotch tape.
79
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,280
Oh.
80
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:04,680
Now you can't call her that anymore,
okay? Lexi is your boss now, and as
81
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,880
as it sounds, we have actually become...
I will smack your face, work friend.
82
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,760
What? We hate her.
83
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:13,920
I know. I'm so sorry. The only reason
why she has this job is because her dad
84
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,279
owns the newspaper and half of Pasadena.
Yeah, I know. She's a little rich and
85
00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:21,040
weird, and she thinks that Old Navy is a
branch of the military, but when you
86
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,720
are a working mom, it is hard to meet
other working moms.
87
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:26,200
What? No, what about Tina from Metro?
88
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,120
She used to always talk about her kids.
It was sweet.
89
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:31,480
They were dolls.
90
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,080
Everyone's really worried about Tina.
91
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:44,720
You shouldn't have.
92
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:50,660
I just hope there's no cherries in this
one.
93
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:53,860
It's caramel.
94
00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:56,560
Did you go to Stanford?
95
00:04:57,660 --> 00:04:58,660
Yeah.
96
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,720
Why are you eating the chocolates I got
for my girlfriend?
97
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:04,720
I got them for my birthday and I thought
you got them for me. No.
98
00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:07,980
Gross.
99
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,020
I'm going to San Diego without chocolate
to visit my girlfriend.
100
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,740
So please remember to walk Arthur.
101
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:17,100
and use compostable poop bag instead of
telling the dog just to hold it. And if
102
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:20,020
you raise the heat above 68, the nest
will alert me. Aye, aye, Captain.
103
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,640
Do you have any plans for your birthday?
104
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,080
Oh, yeah.
105
00:05:29,340 --> 00:05:32,460
I'm going to throw a massive rager, and
I'm thinking getting a couple of kegs
106
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:35,340
and maybe even a reggae band, and I'm
going to do it right over there by your
107
00:05:35,340 --> 00:05:38,740
Peloton. No, you can't do it here. We
have an agreement. Your lease
108
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:40,520
states that any guests need to be pre
-authorized.
109
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:42,839
You're joking?
110
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,260
Obviously, dude. What do you have, like
Asperger's or something?
111
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:46,600
I do.
112
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:48,220
You do?
113
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,140
Oh my God, I am so sorry I said that.
114
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I don't.
115
00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:52,540
You thought I had Asperger's?
116
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,360
I mean, kinda.
117
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:55,660
I do.
118
00:05:57,620 --> 00:05:58,760
Alright, have a good weekend.
119
00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:06,600
Oh, thank you.
120
00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:11,100
Wow, 14 bucks for a cocktail.
121
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:15,920
You know, back in the day, we used to
make LSD in the bathtub and give it away
122
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:16,920
for free.
123
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,980
Oh, damn, I miss the 90s.
124
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,860
How come your nose is buried in your
phone?
125
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:31,480
Honestly, I was wondering if my ex
-fiancé was going to bother to wish me a
126
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,960
happy birthday, but so far he hasn't,
so... You know the best way to get over
127
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:35,960
someone?
128
00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:37,600
Get under someone else.
129
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,220
Awesome. Thank you for your wisdom.
130
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:42,640
Hey!
131
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,860
There she is, my birthday girl!
132
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:46,680
Yes!
133
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,780
Okay, I know you said no presents, but
we thought by the gas page catch a
134
00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:57,440
something. Oh, you mean... Condoms and
scratcher? Because you're going to get
135
00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,740
lucky this year.
136
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,760
And we're going to have a great time
tonight no matter who else shows up.
137
00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:04,860
Who else is coming?
138
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,280
Hi, squirrel friend.
139
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:07,940
Sorry I'm late.
140
00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:12,530
Well, I hope it's not too weird that I
crashed your birthday.
141
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,970
Oh, not at all. We're co -workers.
142
00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:17,030
Well, not exactly co.
143
00:07:18,450 --> 00:07:19,450
Kidding.
144
00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:23,930
Although technically that is accurate. I
mean, I am your boss. Great.
145
00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:27,630
But I just want you to know that I'm
going to strive to be a different kind
146
00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:30,250
boss than my father was. I mean, he was
just so...
147
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,140
aloof and out of touch.
148
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,420
And if I learned anything after I broke
my back during the Olympic dressage
149
00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:39,620
trials, it's that you are only as strong
as the horse you're riding.
150
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,560
And you, you are my horse.
151
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:49,900
Hey, Lexi. Am I being weird and entitled
again? Yeah, when you refer to us as
152
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,600
your horse. See, this is why I need you.
153
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:56,300
Oh my gosh, that reminds me. One weekend
during quarantine when our families
154
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:57,239
potted together.
155
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,240
Oh.
156
00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,350
You guys partied together?
157
00:07:59,570 --> 00:08:02,270
We did, and it was such fun.
158
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:07,170
I know a lot of people say they didn't
enjoy the pandemic, but I really
159
00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:12,870
Anyway, one night, Sam and I got into Le
Sauvignon Blanc, and she got really
160
00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:19,690
honest with me about how I can come off
to people, and I'm just very grateful to
161
00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:20,850
have a friend like you in my life.
162
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,210
I got you.
163
00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:32,210
Nobody knows if nobody... You're okay
with her being here, right?
164
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:34,409
Totally. Yeah.
165
00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:37,470
I guess I just didn't realize you guys
were like friends' friends.
166
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:38,629
I know.
167
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,710
But it's fine. You just want me to do it
for her, yeah?
168
00:08:41,169 --> 00:08:44,610
You got it. Yes. Okay, so I got us two
tickets to the Underground this Saturday
169
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:46,670
night. It's 80s prom night.
170
00:08:46,950 --> 00:08:49,170
I thought I'd wear my wedding dress. You
can wear your maid of honor dress.
171
00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:52,850
Nice. We'll get the muse out of it. I
would love to do it. It's just that
172
00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:56,810
Saturday night, I have some plans.
173
00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,040
Do you plan to like me? Yeah, I do. I
do.
174
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:01,620
Don't go breaking my heart.
175
00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:06,380
We both got it. It was us both there.
176
00:09:10,540 --> 00:09:12,320
Let's give it up for Dennis and Scotch
Tape.
177
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,900
Scotch Tape? Oh, yeah. It's the nickname
we gave you. You know, just a little
178
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:19,380
inside joke between old friends. No, no.
Slow down.
179
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:22,500
Why? Come on. Scotch Tape. Because
you're stuck up. Get it?
180
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:24,130
We also thought you were Scottish.
181
00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:27,470
You screamed one day, and it sounded
like Braveheart. I was like, Scottish?
182
00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:30,970
Come on. You think it's funny, right?
183
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,550
I'm not the only one.
184
00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:34,910
Yeah, totally.
185
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:36,190
I'm just going to get my bag.
186
00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:37,690
All right.
187
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,110
Another round of drink?
188
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,420
And the fridge has been open too long.
189
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,860
How did I end up here?
190
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,320
Well, it's true.
191
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,460
You never really know where life is
going to take you.
192
00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:09,800
Don't you come any closer or I will kill
you.
193
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:10,859
Don't bother.
194
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:11,920
I'm already dead.
195
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,040
Are you here to kill me?
196
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:21,040
Please don't do that. Please, please
don't do that. No, I am not here to kill
197
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,600
you. My name is Monty Waxburg.
198
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,480
Yummy, yum, bubble gum.
199
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,240
Juicy, juicy fun.
200
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:31,659
Ta -da.
201
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:32,660
C 'est moi.
202
00:10:33,940 --> 00:10:37,440
Nope. Nuh -uh. No, I do not see dead
people. No, no, no, no, no. This has
203
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,160
got to be the chili cheese fries and the
cake and the five cocktails. Maybe they
204
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,160
have gummy I ate. Go easy there, Keith
Richards.
205
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:44,620
You cannot comment because you are not
real.
206
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,660
So I, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna go to my
room and I'm gonna lock the door. And
207
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:51,360
I'm gonna put a bunch of heavy boxes in
front of it. You know, not because I
208
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,960
think that you're real, but just
because, uh...
209
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,180
Um, I need the cardio. And when I wake
up in the morning, you are going to be
210
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:57,280
gone. Good night!
211
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:09,660
Morning.
212
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:18,400
Daybeck, how did you get back the boxes?
I have no idea. I've never been dead
213
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:22,020
before. Also, I haven't had to pee since
I died.
214
00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:24,020
which frees up a lot of time.
215
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,220
Company. Come in.
216
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:30,160
Are you okay? I just got home and I
heard you scream.
217
00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:38,060
You know... Yeah, I'm okay. Good. Will
you clean the living room, please?
218
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:39,880
Because it's filled with condoms.
219
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,700
Duh. Yeah, what do you think?
220
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,440
Okay,
221
00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:44,580
night.
222
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:46,500
Fun fact.
223
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,340
You're the only one that can see me.
224
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:49,700
No! Yep.
225
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:51,100
No! Yep. No!
226
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,340
Oh, my God. I know I've been sad lately.
227
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:01,600
And maybe even a little depressed, you
know? And I haven't really been taking
228
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,120
good care of myself. Maybe I just need
to do more exercise.
229
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,660
Oh, okay. Why don't we go for a bike
ride?
230
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:08,820
No, thank you. I need my air.
231
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,200
Hey, Siri, check them.
232
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:17,480
Sorry, I got over -served last night.
Can we grab a cup of coffee later?
233
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:21,300
You don't want to eat here. Two words.
234
00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:23,560
Cockroaches. No!
235
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:32,000
Go, go, go, go, go. Help. Get out of the
car. This is the guy that killed me.
236
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:33,420
What? Just kidding.
237
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,120
It was prostate cancer.
238
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:40,620
Stop following me.
239
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:45,100
Enough. What do I have to do to get you
to leave? I don't know.
240
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:50,500
I have no idea why I'm here. No rules,
no instructions. It's very poorly run.
241
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:53,940
Okay, I've seen the movies. There's got
to be some magic words that I can say to
242
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:57,860
get you to move on. Oh, like, I absolve
you of your messed up life.
243
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:04,740
night caroline my messed up life yes
your messed up life i don't know if you
244
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:07,640
remember but i've been writing about you
and you're a dead twice divorced
245
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:11,300
wannabe musician wrote one jingle that
made me hate bubblegum uh -huh and what
246
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:15,060
about you i've been around you for about
24 hours and i can tell you're no prize
247
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:18,980
you drink too much you're jealous of
other people's happiness and you
248
00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:22,000
just run away from any difficulty in
your life
249
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,400
I'm not doing this. I'm not getting
psychoanalyzed by some dead person.
250
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,900
V, you're running away.
251
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:33,100
I am not. No.
252
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,320
No.
253
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,680
Great. Thank you. I just missed Sam's
call.
254
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:38,420
Hey,
255
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:39,760
I got your text.
256
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,520
Last night got a little out of hand.
257
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,260
I mean, I know it was funny how we used
to not like Lexi, but she's been a great
258
00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:46,740
friend to me while you've been gone.
259
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,380
She is also the boss.
260
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,840
So if I were you, I would think about
apologizing.
261
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,520
Anyway, I guess we'll talk later.
262
00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:55,610
So what are you going to do now?
263
00:14:04,650 --> 00:14:08,030
Well, this is quite the office, like.
264
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:10,450
Whoa.
265
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:15,090
Ah, yes, that's the horse that bucked
me, Todd. I keep it as a reminder of my
266
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:16,370
failures. Wow.
267
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:17,750
So what can I do for you?
268
00:14:18,369 --> 00:14:23,330
I wanted to drop off some apology
donuts. Last night I wasn't at my best
269
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:24,330
wanted to say I'm sorry.
270
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:26,870
And I promised to be more professional
from now on.
271
00:14:28,430 --> 00:14:30,730
Did you steal these from the break room?
No, why?
272
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:34,430
Several have bites taken out of them and
it says break room on the box.
273
00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:35,990
Then yes, I did.
274
00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:37,770
Okay, sorry, bye.
275
00:14:38,910 --> 00:14:40,650
That was a pretty half -assed apology.
276
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:45,950
I mean, obviously you have something
you'd like to say to me, so be a
277
00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:47,370
Give me the full story.
278
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,070
I don't think that's a good idea.
279
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:50,830
I have an idea.
280
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:55,590
Let's take 30 seconds and tell the other
person exactly what we think of them
281
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:56,830
with no repercussions.
282
00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:58,370
Huh? I'll go first.
283
00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:01,030
I think you are a sloppy drunk.
284
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:05,190
Oh, wow. You're just going to go right
in there. Well, I think your
285
00:15:05,190 --> 00:15:08,510
with your horse is inappropriate. I
think that shirt looks like it was
286
00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:10,530
from Wet Seal. I took the bites out of
those donuts.
287
00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:12,070
You still work in newspapers.
288
00:15:12,590 --> 00:15:14,770
You work in newspapers.
289
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,980
I knew you didn't want me at your
birthday party, but I invited myself
290
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,160
I don't think you're good enough to be
friends with Sam.
291
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,280
When Dennis asked me to hire you, I said
no.
292
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:29,580
You gave up a promising career to chase
after some guy, and when it doesn't work
293
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,140
out, I'm supposed to pick up the pieces?
294
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,880
I only changed my mind when Sam told me
you were in a sad spot and really needed
295
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:35,819
to catch a break.
296
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:37,440
I hired you for her.
297
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:41,560
But I am your boss, and if you don't
perform, you will be the first to go,
298
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:42,700
it won't matter who you're friends with.
299
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:46,130
Okay, good to know.
300
00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:51,270
I really don't think that's a fun game,
by the way. That's a lot better if
301
00:15:51,270 --> 00:15:52,270
you're playing with your family.
302
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:00,870
Are you here? Yep.
303
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:04,930
Oh. I keep closing my eyes and hoping
when I open them I'll be in Madrid.
304
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,950
Oh, now what's with the face?
305
00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:13,250
Some dumb reason. I thought that I would
just...
306
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:20,000
Come back home and pick back up where I
left off, but... Everything's changed
307
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,200
and I feel really disconnected from
everyone.
308
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:29,540
So, what do we do then? Just sit here
and feel sorry for you for the rest of
309
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:31,720
eternity? Am I in hell?
310
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,640
If you're with me, probably.
311
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:37,620
Oh, my God. You know, I can't listen to
any more of your whining. I'm either
312
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:39,700
going to smother you with that pillow or
we're going out.
313
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,260
Smother me.
314
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,720
This is so dumb.
315
00:16:54,820 --> 00:16:57,660
What are we doing here? I mean, are we
going to split a bruschetta?
316
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,700
You know you don't need those things.
317
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:06,160
I feel like everyone is staring at me,
wondering what's wrong with me and why
318
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,060
I'm all alone in such a beautiful place.
319
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:09,720
Let me tell you something.
320
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,200
I was a prodigy on the piano.
321
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:17,359
I moved to California in the summer of
love. I was going to make incredible
322
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:18,359
music.
323
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,220
And I ended up writing Yummy Yum. Oh,
no, Sammy. I know.
324
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:23,540
It's embarrassing.
325
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,579
Because I wanted so much more.
326
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,040
So I got angry.
327
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,580
And I pushed people away.
328
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:36,520
And eventually, I climbed out of my own
ass and realized that there were people
329
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,560
all around me, living their lives.
330
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:45,680
Not caring about what life should be,
but about what it is.
331
00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:49,040
And when I got that, everything changed.
332
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,280
I mean, look at that woman over there.
333
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:57,580
She's not self -conscious, just enjoying
life as it's happening right now. You
334
00:17:57,580 --> 00:17:58,580
don't have to do this.
335
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:02,600
Do what? Go to Christmas future me into
thinking that if I don't change my ways,
336
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:05,860
I'm going to end up alone and all
dressed up wearing some ugly turquoise
337
00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:10,300
necklace. Or maybe you wear it because
your husband bought it for you in Spain
338
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:11,300
for your anniversary.
339
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,300
Is that your wife?
340
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:18,720
Yes, it is.
341
00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:19,940
Oh, my God.
342
00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:28,930
I'm so sorry. I just can't seem to get
out of my own way. I'm a mess.
343
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,150
Yeah, you are.
344
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:31,710
Thanks. But you know, it's okay.
345
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:35,290
Because so was I before I met Cricket.
346
00:18:37,370 --> 00:18:40,590
God, I wish I could tell her once more
how beautiful she is.
347
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:55,659
Excuse me.
348
00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:59,600
I hope this isn't too weird, but I just
thought someone should tell you how
349
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:00,960
beautiful you look tonight.
350
00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:03,020
Isn't that a kick?
351
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:06,580
Thank you. And I really love your
necklace.
352
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:13,080
My husband gave it to me. It's a little
gaudy, but it makes me think of him.
353
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:18,340
You know, this is really out of
character for me, but would it be the
354
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:20,780
thing if I asked to join you for a glass
of wine?
355
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,620
Only if it's tequila.
356
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:27,250
I'm now.
357
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:28,330
I'm cricket.
358
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:34,690
Come in.
359
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:41,310
Hey. I got more poop bags for Arthur's
business, so you're always ready.
360
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:42,970
Thank you.
361
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,910
Is there something else?
362
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:50,170
Technically, it's not called Asperger's
anymore. It's called autism spectrum
363
00:19:50,170 --> 00:19:52,970
disorder. It means a lot of different
things to a lot of different people,
364
00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:55,760
but... For me, it means I need structure
and routine.
365
00:19:56,780 --> 00:20:00,220
There's a right way to do things, and
there's a wrong way to do things.
366
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,300
And there's not much in between.
367
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,120
Blank the poop back.
368
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,120
Yeah, kind of. But I'm an environmental
lawyer, so that's just being
369
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,120
responsible.
370
00:20:08,420 --> 00:20:10,020
The world's on fire right now.
371
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:17,340
Right. Also, I know at times I could be
difficult to
372
00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:20,360
live with, or so I've been told.
373
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:24,050
So have I.
374
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:25,930
So maybe we're a good match.
375
00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:28,330
Well,
376
00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:32,010
have a nice day.
377
00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:39,730
What are the markers of a life well
lived?
378
00:20:40,050 --> 00:20:42,450
We tried to describe people's lives in
one sentence.
379
00:20:43,130 --> 00:20:44,610
She was a successful journalist.
380
00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:47,270
He was an old friend and a new boss.
381
00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:50,030
She was a working mom. There's too many
kisses!
382
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,400
He was the yummy -yum bubblegum guy.
383
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:57,820
But the truth is, there isn't one
sentence that can describe a life. No, I
384
00:20:57,820 --> 00:21:00,620
that we're not what we're supposed to
be, but I have a plan. It's taking a
385
00:21:00,620 --> 00:21:01,419
little bit longer.
386
00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:02,860
Because life is complicated.
387
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:04,740
Thanks, Dad.
388
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,060
And people aren't always who we think
they are.
389
00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:10,260
The real truth is, we're all a work in
progress.
390
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,320
And so are our relationships.
391
00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:14,660
The old ones we're trying to keep.
392
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,940
And sometimes, if we're lucky.
393
00:21:19,970 --> 00:21:26,950
It's the new ones that take us by
surprise. Hey, are you ready to rock our
394
00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:29,450
off? Sure am. Come on, girl.
395
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:31,470
I can tell you about the agency.
396
00:21:31,770 --> 00:21:32,770
Oh, please.
397
00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:38,530
And since, as Monty Waxberg believed,
you never really know where life is
398
00:21:38,530 --> 00:21:42,270
to take you. So just open up your heart
along the way and listen.
399
00:21:42,530 --> 00:21:46,350
Everyone has a story if you just take
the time to find out what it is.
400
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,200
I would tell you this is really good,
but then you just want to start a union,
401
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,440
so instead I'm just going to upload it
to publication.
402
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:54,960
Okay. Okay?
403
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:58,660
Don't let those nice words go to your
head, old man.
404
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,200
Just trying to keep this job.
405
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:06,480
Didn't even say goodbye.
406
00:22:07,140 --> 00:22:08,140
What a jerk.
407
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:11,980
Hey, I just emailed you your next
assignment. A woman who ran a successful
408
00:22:11,980 --> 00:22:13,600
sum restaurant in Chinatown.
409
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:14,880
On it.
410
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,720
I'm going to be honest because I'm deaf.
Your natural deodorant doesn't work.
411
00:22:22,940 --> 00:22:24,320
And why aren't you married?
412
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:25,660
Time's ticking.
31651
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