All language subtitles for Westside s05e07.engg

Just sort your shit out, Ngaire.

Either drive or get out of the car.

I guess I might have a wee problem.

(GUNSHOT)
Shit! Shit.

- (GUNSHOT) - (GROANS) - Get in!

(GROANS)

I see you have my money.
Highest card keeps the cash.

Then we walk away.

Where's the money? I'll let him enjoy thinking
he's at the big boys' table for a minute

So, are we at war again? We've got
bigger problems to worry about.

Work with us; help us nail this bastard, and
we will save you from dying at his hands.

(COUP D'ETAT'S
'DOCTOR I LIKE YOUR MEDICINE' PLAYS)

(VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRS)

(RECORD SCRATCHES, MUSIC STOPS)

Jeez, what are ya -
a bunch of girls?

(MUSIC WINDS UP, METAL MUSIC PLAYS)

(MUFFLED METAL MUSIC PLAYS)

(METAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(MUFFLED METAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Brought you a cup of tea.

Take it away.

You've got to get some type
of sustenance in you.

Why'?

Because otherwise you'll die.

Good.
You don't really mean that

((SIGHS))

I fucking do. Every part of rne is either
itchy to buggery or aches like hell.

Death feels like a pretty
good option right about now.

Well, I'll just leave it here, then,
in case you change your mind.

Ahem, and how is
Madame this morning'?

Oh, she's still favouring
the death option.

You haven't eaten your breakfast.
(GROANS)

I thought, 'Why bother? You'll only be
coming straight back up.' (GROANS SOFTLY)

You are the world's worst patient.

(SCOFFS) Fuck off, Bilkey,
and turn that bloody music down.

((SIGHS))

So does Rita still
look really grody?

She's not looking her finest, no. Choice. It's like
all the evil in her is coming out through her skin.

You say that within earshot, and
she'll kill you. I'm not kidding.

It's weird how when old people get chickenpox
they're, like, the sickest thing ever.

When Mammy had it, I had to get
Father McGinty to do an exorcism.

Meanwhile beautiful Pascalle here
sailed through it,

not even any on her face,
cos she's gonna be a model,

like that chick in the
ice cream ad her dad pervs over.

One time I said she had nice hair.

My hair's kinda like Ice Cream Girl.

Give it up, Mandy.

Oh, shit, didn't think there
was anyone in here. God!

I keep telling Ted we need
a lock on the fucking door.

I should get Wolf on to it.
Yeah, you should.

Man, you look like shit.

It's all your bloody fault, you know.
Sorry?

I got this off your fucking kids.

Yes, Rita, I get that you're pissed off
on a daily basis that we still live here.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Word to the wise -
don't go in the bathroom.

Come on, you. Can you give us
a lift to Henderson Square?

So you can practice for
when you're a solo mother'?

So I can teach Pascalle how
to look out for creeps, creep.

Whatever. Just no shoplifting. I don't want her
getting a bad example from her scuzzy auntie.

Hey. Where's the gratitude for
taking her off your hands all day'?

It's in the money I'm paying you.

Jethro's connecting Van's dots
with a felt-tip pen.

Should I stop that? Oh, Van's enjoying it.
It can't hurt.

Have fun with your mother.

Run away, coward.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(STATIC CRACKLES)

(SHARON O'NEILL'S
'DANCED IN THE FIRE' PLAYS)

(LIGHTER CLICKS)

(MUSIC PLAYS LOUDER)

YELLS: Hand over the money!

What'?
I said, 'Hand over the money!'

Are you kidding'?
No! Hand over the money!

No.
What do you mean 'no'?

When I say, 'Hand over the money,'
you hand over the money!

Why'?
Because this is a robbery and-

Can you turn the music down? So I
can hear you better as you rob me?

Yes! I have a gun.
Bullshit.

I - I do!
Show me.

What? If you've got a gun,
show rne, otherwise fuck off.

OK, I will.
(RUSTLING)

Shit!

(OBJECT RATTLES)

(PANTS) Give it back!

It's not even a real gun.
You're the worst robber ever.

(OBJECTS CLATTER)

(THUD!)

Going to rehab might be
getting Ngaire off the drugs,

but just between us, it's not making
her a kinder, more loving person.

If nagging was an Olympic sport,
she'd be a shoo-in for a medal.

Ah, yet you still love her.
That I do,

and I bloody miss her.
Oh, that's almost romantic, Lefty.

Our house is a pigsty.

How the bloody hell does Rita manage being on
death's door and getting the housework done?

She has magical helpers. Are you in'?
Sure, nothing else to do.

Yeah, apart from the housework. Fuck the
housework. That's the attitude, Lefty.

I'm gonna shoot out for a bit What about
your kids? They're playing in their room.

Oh, and you're just going to leave them for us
to look after, are you? Well, you can manage.

The deal was when Cheryl's at work,
you look after them.

Yeah, except I've
got business to do.

What sort of business?
None of yours.

Plus, I've been caged up with those
bloody kids for days. As have we all.

Now I've got stuff I need to do.
As have we all.

Yeah, such as'?

(LAUGHTER) Actually we are pretty
well cashed-up at the moment.

Nice for some.

Junior's getting ballsy these days.
Yeah, takes after his mother.

(COIN RATTLES AGAINST TABLE)
Call.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES)

(SIGHS)

Why do we have to meet here? There's
the Rusty Nail, if that works for you.

You know what I mean.
It's like you're power-tripping me.

By reminding you I can raid
this place at any time.

This place is squeaky.
Still wouldn't stop me.

So?
So, nothing.

You told them, right'?
Well, of course I told them.

So what's the problem'?

Well, the problem is is that you're
asking the Wests to work with the pigs.

And the Wests don't dob.
Yeah, that.

Figgs wants to destroy them, run them out
of Henderson. That's survival, not dobbing.

Yeah, maybe not to Ted and Rita. Well, tell them
to fucking pull their heads out of their arses!

It's not their way,
and you know that.

Maybe they're not against the idea.
They just need to know -

what are you going after Figgs for'?
I can't tell you that.

Then what's in it for them?
My undying love isn't enough (?)

Well, give rne something, you know,
give rne anything that I can take back

that proves you're
not just big-noting.

Son of a mother...
(GROANS)

You're welcome. You know
the thing about cards, Lefty'?

That you're a tin-arsed cheat, Ted'?
Nothing tin-arsed about it.

See, we all play, and the best man - rne - wins,
but everywhere else, the house always wins.

Casinos, like a licence to print money,
(RIFFLES CARDS) cos they're rigged that way.

And, so? So, one day, if they ever
open a casino in New Zealand,

it'll be our duty to rob those bastards before
they fleece the good people of this land.

Yeah, I'm on board.

Or why take the risk when there's shitloads
to be made playing the stock market?

Cos that shit isn't real. Well, actually, there's
a lot of people believing in the not real -

a lot of suits I'm selling
to the young bucks these days.

A lot of people making a lot of money.
Mm, till the bubble bursts.

Not gonna happen any time soon.
I'm not entirely sure about that.

And how the fuck would you know? Men
talk in the fitting room, (BLOWS)

and they tend not to notice
the man doing their inside leg.

While you're cupping his nuts.
(CHUCKLES)

(TELEPHONE RINGS)
You know, sometimes Lefty,

when you've got a man's balls in your hand,
it's the time he's the most truthful.

(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)

Hello. ls Wolf there?
Uh, no, he's not.

Then where the fuck is he'?
Do we know where Wolf is'?

He's doing something important.
He's doing something important.

So he's with his mates.
Probably.

(TELEPHONE CLONKS)

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Somebody should probably get that.
You get it.

I'm busy.

Touching yourself.
No, that comes next.

Sparky, you get it.
It's probably for you.

How do you know'?
I just do.

(TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

Hello. Jesus, do you people not
know how to answer a fucking phone?

It's Cheryl. ls Wolf there?
No, not as such, no.

Then where is he'?
Uh, have you tried your house?

Where he's meant to be'?
Yeah, you should try there.

Yeah, of course I fucking tried there! They
said he's off doing something important.

That'll be that thing.

What thing'?

I can find him. Is it important? Oh, not really,
just that someone tried to hold up the Galleria.

Sorry. When you say someone
tried to hold up the Galleria...

Hold up as in rob with a gun.
With a gun'? Are you OK'?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Although, I do have a problem I'm
not entirely sure what to do with.

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

(ROCK MUSIC)

That's not going on.

Yes, Labour's lost their way,

led down that path by Douglas and Prebble
and the rest of those ratbags...

(COINS CLINK AGAINST TABLE) ...but Lange will see
us right. He's a good man, got a good ticker.

But I do not go on about it. I just-

LEFTY AND BILKEY: Carol!
Hey, Carol.

Phineas. Boys.

Is she any better'?

No.
Big no.

You're working again.
Yes.

You still look good in uniform.
Thank you, Phineas.

Do not go in there.
I need to speak to her.

It's not a good idea.
Nonsense.

She'll be pleased to see rne. It'll
cheer her up. (CLEARS THROAT)

Aces and eights - dead man's hand.
(GROANING)

Only me.
Fuck off, Carol.

The thing is, Rita, I've done
something... something not good,

and if I don't talk to someone,
I'll explode.

(RETCHES)

(COUGHS)

(SPITS)

(GROANS)

But it can wait till you're ready.

(JOHN HANLON'S 'DAMN THE DAM' PLAYS)

(BREATHES RAGGEDLY)

Do you like the music?
MUFFLED: No. No?

Too loud'?
Mm-hm.

Not loud enough. I can turn it up
for you, if you like.

- (MUMBLES)
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)

(WHIMPERS)

(PANTS)

(BELL DINGS) Where's Wolf?
Sparky's gone to get him.

From where? Sparky didn't say.
He said he'd bring him here.

So this is the bastard, eh'?
No, Eric,

this is a passing stranger I tied
to a chair for the fun of it (!)

And a very good job of tying
you have done, Mrs Cheryl. Mm.

So, what are we gonna
do with you, my friend'?

Because you've messed
with the wrong people.

You know that now, don't you'?
(BREATHES RAGGEDLY)

Hello'?

Anne-Marie? What do you want, Sparky?
I urgently need to talk to someone.

Is it me'?
No.

Is, uh- ls Wolf here'?

I'm not judging, I swear, it's just that there's
kind of been an armed robbery at the Galleria,

so I really need to find him
as soon as- WOLF: What?!

Is Cheryl OK'?
Uh, yeah, she's OK.

She just really wants you there
as soon as, um...

I'm sorry. I- I have to...
Yeah.

Not judging-

Two queens.

Three jacks. Did you do a deal with the
devil, Ted? There's no other explanation.

Speaking of queens, you back in'?

Uh, yeah, sure.

They eat their food'?
Yeah, some.

You'll make someone a good wife.

Oh, Cami, you're a goddess.
Me?

No, I'm really not.

I mean, for dealing
with the puke bucket.

Oh, I just emptied it down the toilet.
Now it needs a bit of a rinse.

Well, you're still
a braver man than me.

I'm tidying up Rita's chunder.
Good to know (!)

Bert, help me defeat this son of
Satan before he takes all my money.

Sure, but first me and Ted,
we need to talk about something.

You can't talk and play? You guys carry on.
We just need a quick chat.

We are so fucked_ How? Pick
a way - it doesn't matter

Bert, the cops have nothing to come back
at us with if we don't play their game

Yeah, but they're taking
this very personally,

which means they'll be all over us for
ages, waiting, if we don't play ball.

(SIGHS) But why'?

I mean, Figgs is dodgy, sure, but why have
they got this massive hard-on for him?

Yeah, well that hard-on is the reason
we're fucked, whatever side we choose.

(TEX PISTOL AND RIKKI MORRIS'
'NOBODY ELSE' PLAYS)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

(DOOR OPENS, BELL DINGS)

About bloody time. Are you OK?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Just didn't know what to do
with the guy, that's all.

Keith'?
(YELLS MUFFLEDLY)

What's a Keith? This is Keith.
I know him. Oh, interesting.

And did you know that Keith
was gonna hit the Galleria?

What'? No, he's on community service
with me. Keith's cool.

So why did he assault Cheryl and try to rob
her, then? He didn't assault me, Eric.

Terrorise, then.
Not even close.

Can we turn the bloody music down? I
was enjoying torturing him with it.

(MUSIC STOPS)

Keith, is it?

One question for you.

What the fuck did you
think you were doing'?

I'm sorry, man.
I swear I didn't know.

Didn't know what? That this place had
anything to do with the great Wolfgang West.

Now how the fuck do you know me'?
Sparky talks about you all the time.

To me and the guys on Service,
you're, like, this legend.

There's just a lot of time
when we're just sitting around.

Why are you on community service?
I like to drive fast.

Also I sold some drugs
to an undercover cop.

Keith is an awesome thief.
Beg to differ there.

Nah, nah, he gets us stuff all the time. Like, we say
what we want for lunch, and he goes and gets it.

Baby stuff. I walk in,
get what I want, walk out.

Waving your toy gun around'?
I just need more practice.

Ooh, aren't you
a little gangster (T?)

You're Eric, aren't you'?
Yeah.

I can tell by the stupid hair.
That's what Sparky said about me'?

Look, the important thing here is that
this has all been big misunderstanding,

so maybe we should just give Keith
a telling off then let him go.

A little telling off? I said I was
sorry, man. I swear I didn't know.

All I was trying to do was
be a legend, like you.

(DOOR CREAKS)

There you go, a nice fresh bowl
for when you have to... you know.

And I brought you a gin and tonic -
thought that might cheer you up.

OK, I might just have it, then.

Carol.
Hmm'?

HOARSELY: If you've got something to say,
just say it, then leave rne to die in peace.

When I was in Rarotonga on an unexpected
layover due to mechanical issues,

I meta guy in a bar,
and one thing led to another,

and the next thing you know, I'm in his room at the
resort with my legs in the air and his cock inside rne.

Why the fuck do you
tell me these things?

It just feels right, I guess.
For you, maybe.

He was a real charmer, Rita. (GROANS) And
you're just a girl who can't say no.

He said all the right things, pushed all the
right buttons, except when we got down to it.

Then I just lay there, thinking about
Brian and what a terrible person I am.

What's wrong with me, Rita'?
Am I some kinda nympho'?

You're definitely
some kinda something.

Sorry, I just need a word with Rita.
Jesus.

What does it take to suffer
in silence around here'?

Bert met with... you know.

Carol, there's nothing
wrong with you -

nothing that I can fix anyway.

Piss off. I need to talk to Ted.

(GLASS CLINKS AGAINST TABLE)

So what was all that about?
What?

You and Ted with your secret
take-it-downstairs meetings -

since when are you and him such burn
buddies? That's for him to say.

How's Rita'?
Not good,

but still probably better than rne.

I should go.
Sure you don't want to play cards'?

I'm terrible at cards -

except strip poker.

God, what is wrong with me'?

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) What do you
say, Bilkey - strip poker'?

Hmm, well, I wouldn't see
anything I haven't seen before,

(INHALES SHARPLY) except
bigger and better. Ouch.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

Hey, Carol.

Carol!
What is it, Phineas?

Are you OK'?

I'm not entirely sure I know the
meaning of the word 'OK' right now.

Well, 'OK' means you're OK.

If you're not OK,
then you're not OK.

It's like a light;

it's on or off.

Yeah.

I'm OK.

Thanks, Phineas.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

(POIGNANT MUSIC)

We're not gonna kill him, Eric. Let it go.
Yeah, but he doesn't know that.

Yes, he does.
Yeah, well, he does now.

For God's sakes, whatever you do, can you
take him someplace else and do it there?

Yeah, we'll take him up to the Waitaks,
give him a bit of a tap and dump him.

Can I make a suggestion?
NO.

The guy sitting in the chair does not get
to make any- What's your suggestion?

Let me make it up to you guys by
stealing something I know you'll dig.

Give me half an hour,
and I'll bring it right back here.

You can do that, can you?
Sure.

I can get pretty much
anything most of the time.

Oh, you're that good, eh'?
Nah, just invisible.

Cool, you have that feeling too.

Most people look at me
and all they see is this Asian guy.

They don't see that I'm in the
process of ripping them off -

just this guy probably
here to fix something.

And here I am getting stopped
for crimes I didn't even commit.

Half an hour to make things right.

Cut him loose.

Yeah, I've got this.

(BASSY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)

You won't regret this.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

And that's the last
we'll ever see of Keith.

(ROCK MUSIC)

But what could you know that's
so important that I don't know it'?

Ask Ted.
Don't worry. I will.

Do you think, uh, Carol looked OK? In her uniform?
I suppose so, if you're into that sort of thing.

Nah, I meant she looked upset.

Oh. Can't help you there.

Maybe I should go around and see if she's
OK. I dunno if that's a good idea, mate.

But what if she is upset?

Well, then it's Brian's job
to make sure she's OK.

Mate, you need to get it in
your head that you're divorced now.

Not in the eyes of God. Yeah, but
in the eyes of everyone else.

Are you saying they know more than God?
(SCOFFS)

I don't know. Ask God.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

You should get that, Phin.
That'll be God for you. (SCOFFS)

Well, fuck me.
Hah!

Hello. What a beautiful home you have here. My
name is Elder Morris. This is Elder Cunningham.

Are you from God? Well, we're from the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Close enough. Get in here.
Oh, yep.

Beer?
No, I don't. Um, thank you very much.

Sit down there.

OK, mate,

Men and women are married
in the eyes of God, right'?

Oh, very much so.

In- In fact, in- So only God can say it's
over, not some punk lawyer in a suit, right?

Well, we believe in what
we call celestial marriage,

which is an eternal commitment.
Exactly! See?

Yeah, but doesn't that also mean you can
marry as many wives as you want? No.

Well, once upon a time yes, but not-
Bilkey, shut up.

This one's mine, OK. I get to talk to
him, not you. Go chase that other fulla.

So, even though I'm divorced
here on Earth,

it's OK with God that when I see her, I
still want to jump her bones, right?

(CHUCKLES MEEKLY)

He's not coming back.

You know that, right'?
Dude saw his chance and legged it.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Keith!

(BELL DINGS, BABY CRIES)

I know no one cares,
but I've had the worst day ever.

Turns out if you push a pram around Henderson, it's
a magnet for weird old women, like, in their 30s

to come up and tell you how cute your
baby is. Get a fucking life, people.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Mandy,
I warned you.

Well, I had to get something out
of such a shit day, didn't I'?

(SNIFFS) When was the last time you
changed her? I dunno. Awhile ago.

Can I get a hand here'?
Keith!

Urn, give rne my money. Sell
the crap you stole. Bitch!

Hey, guys. Check out what
Keith scored us! Awesome!

Oh, is this from the Unlucky Dog Takeaways?
The Lucky Dragon.

Oh yeah, we've got another name for it
for a good reason too. Yeah, whatever.

Sparky tells me you guys love
this game Most passionately.

You stole it'?

I told you - I'm like a ghost.

I rock up to the Lucky Dragon
with a trolley and a clipboard.

I tell the bored kid behind the counter
that I'm here to switch out the machine.

I strap it on to my trolley,
wheel it out the door,

and by the time he realises
I'm not coming back, I'm here.

And here it cannot stay.

It's blocking the door,

and Rita would freak the fuck out that a huge
stolen thing is in the middle of her store!

You've made your point. Now take it back.
(ALL CLAMOUR IN DISAGREEMENT)

This is the greatest thing
anyone has ever stolen for us.

Yeah, we're taking this
back to the hacienda!

As long as you take it,
I don't care.

Take it, and let the
partying begin. Whoo!

(STAMMERS) You wanna come
with us, little lady'?

Well, it beats staying with the
shit machine. Mm. (CHUCKLES)

(BABY COOS)

Don't you dare. Well, I better make sure
they don't get arrested on their walk home.

Don't you fucking dare.

Hey, I'll see you later.

Whew! Foofie, foof!

(SIGHS)

(BABY COOS)

But what if I just want to hold her
and tell her everything's OK'?

But no intercourse?
Only if she's up for it.

But she's another man's wife. But
we're married in the eyes of God.

But a woman cannot
have two husbands!

Ah, but it was OK for
Brigham Young to have 51 wives.

Oh, I told you -
we don't do that any more.

Who's this plonker? While you were tending
to your dying wife, we've become Mormons,

except Bilkey, who's going to Mormon hell
because he's a burn bandit. (CHUCKLES)

Bugger off.
OK.

Can I at least leave this book with you?
No, fuck off'.

(DOOR CLOSES)
So, what are we doing?

Good question. What are we doing'?
Yeah, and about what'?

We have been given
by our old friend Riana

a once in a lifetime offer

to work with the pigs.

And why would we do this thing?

Because they have an ongoing
investigation into Frankie Figgs. Ah.

Finally figured out you don't get rich round
these parts without being a dodgy bastard.

Oh, it's a whole lot more than that.

We know it was Figgs - set up Ted getting the
bash in prison. Well, then arrest him for that.

Oh, no offense to Ted, but that's nothing
compared to what we want him for.

Which is fucking what, Riana?

Murder.

So he's not just all piss and wind.
Apparently not.

You know anything about this? I heard
stories, but they kept changing

Look, what Figgs did or didn't do,
is not the issue here.

The point is the police have come
to us with an offer... ...to dob...

...on somebody that we're
not exactly in love with.

And if we turn the offer down...
...the police will not be happy. Yeah.

(THUMP AGAINST DOOR)

Right, ante up, lads.

Well, don't get up. Don't help.

Is Wolf not with you'?
(BABY CRIES)

Of course he's not. He's with his useless mates
being fucking useless. Where else would he be?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS, VIDEO GAME BLIPS)

Come on! Let's do it.

Why'?
Cos he's atop bloke!

An hour ago you wanted to torture and
kill him Yeah, all just fun and games.

But then he came through with some really cool shit,
you know. And you should try his speed. It is primo.

You know I don't do that shit.
Yeah, I know.

But he can clearly do the business, so what's
wrong with having a bloke like him around?

Dance with rne! Not a chance, Mandy.
Dance with rne now!

Yeah, I'll take you up
on that, little lady.

Ew, stop rubbing against me.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Yeah, what'?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH TELEPHONE)
ls my son there?

Well, there are many sons here,
but not all of us have fathers.

Jesus, Sparky. ls Wolf there?
Yeah, hang on.

Wolf!

It's your old man.

Yeah'?
You need to come home now.

Why'?
Just do it, no fucking arguments.

What's Junior got to do with it, apart from
starting all this shit? (SIGHS) He's...

connected.

No, stay!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

Ooh!

This prick wants us gone.
That's his bottom line.

We've always worked under the assumption
that we're gonna go up against him again.

News to me.
Well, we have.

That's why we've got a guy on
the inside of Figgs' organisation.

We have'? Who'?

He's a- a good man to have in there.

Who?

(SNORTS)

Oh yeah!

(GROANS SOFTLY)
That dipshit'?

Look, Sparky knows
what he's there to do.

What - burn the place down? No, he's under
very strict instructions on that front.

All he's doing is keeping
an ear to the ground.

With his dick in his hand,
most likely.

The point is that Sparky's
not really the point here.

If we accept that going up against Figgs
is inevitable, do we do it ourselves

or do we get the cops to
do our dirty work for us?

(TENSE MUSIC)

Do we want to go up
against him at all'?

I mean, they shot Phineas
in the arse_ Leg, not arse_

(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Do you think it's him'?

Who?
Figgs..

Why the hell would it be Figgs? Well, he has this
way of knowing when people are talking about him.

Ta.
(DOOR CLOSES)

What is it'?

It's a box, Lefty,

for Rita.

(ROCK MUSIC)

You awake'?
(GROANS SOFTLY)

I've no idea.

Awake, asleep - it's just
different shades of shit to me.

A box came for you.

What's in it?
I dunno. It's addressed to you.

Then bloody open it.

I'm just the messenger, Rita -
no need to shoot me.

Then open the bloody box,
and I'll stop.

It's a cake.

Who the fuck would send me a cake'?

You tell me.
There's no name or anything on it.

It's not even your birthday.
Yeah, I do know that much.

Twins' birthday? That was ages
ago, and then why send it to me?

Do you want some cake? God, no. Just
looking at it makes rne wanna hurl.

Well, maybe the boys will want some.
Yeah, go for your life.

Bert's not going for our idea that he beds Riana
and forces her to tell him everything she knows.

Well, last time we tried that I ended up with my
pants around my ankles for the whole world to see.

Fair call.

Cake?

Whose birthday is it'?
Fucked if we know. Dig in.

What if it's from Figgs? What? Why
would he send us a cake? Poison?

Doesn't really seem
like his style to me.

Nah, Mr Figgs is more of a
'shoot you in the face' kinda guy.

Good to know. Thanks, Phineas.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS, VIDEO GAME BLIPS)

(CHUCKLES)

(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)

(CHUCKLES)

Do you think we should warn Keith
of the dangers of disease?

From Mandy? No, from doing it
in Eric's bed. (GROANS SOFTLY)

Part of rne wishes it was me
banging Keith. (CHUCKLES)

That is very disturbing,
especially for Keith.

He should be one of us.
That would be cool.

He should lead us.
What about Wolf, our trusted leader?

(SNORTS)

(GRUNTS) Don't you just love it when
it feels like your brain's on fire'?

Not really. I like sleeping.
Sometimes I never want it to stop.

You know, once upon a time if
you thought I was doofing a cop,

you'd be bloody force-feeding me
Rita's lamingtons.

I like Rita's lamingtons.
It doesn't matter, Phineas.

And now you're all like, 'Get up in there, Bert,'
and I'm just not cut out for that shit, you know.

Yeah, we get that now.
Thanks, Bert (!)

Not that I wouldn't, you know, mind going
there again. It's off the table, Bert.

We do a deal with the cops - full immunity for the
next three times we get nicked. Then we'll co-operate.

Or we do a deal with Figgs - don't
kill us, and we won't cooperate.

(TENSE MUSIC)

PHINEAS: Seems like it's one of those situations
where we're screwed no matter what, eh?

Yeah, Phineas, well-observed (!)

Oh, about bloody time.
Hey. I got here as quick as I could.

What's the big deal'?
We need to talk to your mother.

Oh, joy (!)

Is this one of those situations where I have to
take the kids to my mum's for the foreseeable?

NO idea.
That's what we're trying to avoid.

I just need to talk to Rita.
Yeah, and I live here too.

((SIGHS))

(TAPS ON DOOR)

OK, if you really want me to,
I'll have another crack at Riana.

Give it up, Ben.
That ship has well and truly sailed.

I don't see what's changed. We always
knew that Figgs was out of our league.

So he killed somebody -
big fucking surprise.

Yeah, the thing is,
you know the victim.

We're after Figgs for, amongst
a shitload of other things, murder.

Who'?
It doesn't matter.

Well, it might to us.

A bikie,

One of the Horsemen.

Is this about Cannonball?
Why - you knew'?

That he was dead, yeah.
It was in the paper. He drowned.

Yeah, or maybe not - is what
the cops apparently suspect.

If Figgs killed a Horseman, (CHUCKLES)
they would have dealt to him.

So there must be a damn good reason
why he's still above ground.

He's done a deal with them. It would
have to be a pretty fucking good one.

(SIGHS) God, this just keeps
getting better and better (I)

So how do we find out
what this deal is'?

Well, if you're looking for rne to pick up
the phone, you know that's not gonna happen.

Doesn't that weird old woman who buys collectibles
from you have something to do with the Horsemen?

Beryl.

Wha- (CHUCKLES) Oh, you're kidding me.
Is it any good?

Yep, he's taken it out.
Bullshit_ Yeah, no, he has

(WARY MUSIC)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Sometimes women's work
is what it takes.

(MUG CLINKS AGAINST TABLE)

Cheryl. What? Stop
fucking fussing.

It hurts my eyeballs, watching you.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Well, you look like shit.

Yeah, it's nothing compared
to how I feel.

So what have you got that's so good,
you've dragged me here'?

Bit of false advertising,
I'm afraid. I need some information.

From me'?
About Frankie Figgs.

You know Mr Figgs, do you'?
We do.

Charming devil, isn't he'?

So you've done business with him'?

Beryl, no one is listening
to our conversation.

Doesn't matter - our dealings
with Mr Figgs are all above board.

'Are'? So that means they're still
going on - even after Cannonball'?

You know that the pigs think
that Figgs killed him, right'?

That's not an uncommon read on what
happened. So he did kill him, then?

But you're still
in business with Figgs'?

Just because he's the devil, Rita,

doesn't mean everything the devil
does is unforgivable.

(ROCK MUSIC)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

(VIDEO GAME BLIPS)

So you'll call me, eh'?

Yeah, for sure, babe.

MISS me?
Yeah, you bet.

Good shit, eh'?
Oh, the best.

(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Ace-king high.

Two pairs -

nines and jacks.

Three twos. Jesus, Ted. This is unholy.
(GROANS)

Here, Rita.

Thanks, Phineas. (SIGHS)

((SIGHS))

And?

The most we got out of her was that if
Figgs ever invites you on a fishing trip,

you might wanna think twice
before accepting.

So he did kill Cannonball.

My guess is, yeah, he did.

Good riddance to the prick.
He broke Carol's jaw.

Well, maybe the Horsemen share that sentiment,
because they're still in business with him.

Bullshit. If one of them dies, you're their
enemy for life. You, of all people, know that.

Not Frankie Figgs, apparently.

Why?

So we're officially in the middle of
what might be called a clusterfuck.

So what are we meant to do'?
Are we working with the cops or not'?

(TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC)

Look we're all Wests here -

by blood,

by history.

Of course we're not working
with the fucking cops. Fuck.

You wanna deliver that message? Do
I have a choice? (LIGHTER CLICKS)

(SUBDUED MUSIC)

And Figgs'?
It's all under control.

Eh, love'?
Always, Ted.

(DOOR CREAKS)

(GRIM MUSIC)

I'll do that.

Ted West tidies up -
there's a turn-up for the books.

Yeah, well, things have changed
around here. You go back to bed.

Every part of rne hurts, Ted.

Fucking kids and
their fucking diseases...

or maybe I'm just getting
too old for this shit.

Yeah, maybe we both are.

Fancy another road trip
across America?

(CHUCKLES) I'm game if you are.

(WISTFUL MUSIC)

You

sitting on my lap,

naked, as I drive.

Go back to bed. You still look like shit.
(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

(EERIE MUSIC)

SOFTLY: Happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday

to me.

Happy birthday,

dear Gary.

Happy birthday

to me.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

(EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES)

Why would Wolf wanna kill you'?
Cos I'm bad at keeping secrets.

Why would someone do this to me'?

You really should've kept
your dick in your pants.

Are you a West son'?
Who the fuck are you'?

This is the best job.
I want a three-way!

They say that he murdered someone.

(GUN COCKS)
Leave.

You're a fucking monster!

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