All language subtitles for Westside s05e05.eng

(DRAMATIC GUITAR MUSIC)

Thanks. Thank you for distracting
rne during Brandon's morning sleep,

so I didn't get any washing out
or any of the vacuuming done.

Our boy sleeps like a champion.
He is a bit of a star, yeah.

It's so quiet.
Sometimes too quiet.

That's why I tolerate you coming over.
Good to have another adult to talk to.

Ah. It's the talking
you like, is it'?

Wolf, no. I haven't got time,
and neither have you.

Won't they be wondering
where you are'?

(BABY CRIES)

And now you get to say hi
to Brandon before you go.

What are you doing? Not the lolly cake.
Because?

Because I made it, dummy.
So it'll taste like shit'?

All right, then Put it on the table.
(SNIFFS)

ls there weed in this, Mandy? Well, I had a
bunch of cabbage left over from a piss-up

at Blockhouse Bay Reserve, so-
Get rid of it.

Want some lolly cake, Mr West'?
I'm more of a savoury man myself.

Ah, good. I was starting to feel
outnumbered - all these ruddy birds.

Their very first leather vests. Oh!
So, where are the birthday boys?

Who cares'? Let's get out of here.
Barbecue won't light itself.

Everyone's so boring up there Yeah
It's down here where the action’s at

Not really. It's just us waiting around
for the OK to open the beers. Fuck that.

Let's get the party started! Yeah!
Ooh, lolly cake. Delicious. May I?

Of course! As long as you like
getting really, really out of it.

Ah. You're a dark horse, aren't you, little
missy. This is a children's birthday party.

The last thing you would do at a
children's birthday party is... that.

(CHUCKLES) Ooh.

Bring Brandon to Van and Jethro's party if you
want. I mean, it's a party for kids and babies.

And your wife, and your mum.

Well, they don't know. And you're Sparky's sister.
It's kind of weird you don't hang with us.

No one gives me a second thought. And, honest to
God, that's the way I like it. You should be happy.

Yeah. I am happy.

Good. Say bye-bye to Uncle Wolf. Tell
him not to forget the paper plates.

Uncle Wolf'? Harsh. (CHUCKLES)

(ENGINE REVS)

(RELAXED GUITAR MUSIC)

Hello. Welcome.

Where's Vern?

You can't keep away, Rita.

Is a bit of privacy too much to ask'?
Sonia, darling, do you mind'?

I thought I'd made myself clear, Vern.
Oh, you always do.

So enough with the stories about me.
Do you understand? Enough.

Occasionally, your name pops up.
You were my neighbour - or I yours.

It would be strange and suspicious if I didn't
acknowledge this fact. Everything else...

remains our little secret.
It bloody better.

I can't speak for our child, though.

Somewhere out there, Rita, is a teenager -
about to turn 16, if I've done my maths right.

Nope.

Not to me, there's not. But what if they're
curious as to their birth parents?

What if they come looking for us? Your
name is not on the birth certificate.

And I made it very clear at the time
that my name was never to be released

Such things may not stop
a determined young person.

I'm at peace with our past, Rita.

Are you'?
Abso-fucking-lutely.

Oh, I hope so.

If I hear that you so much

as mention my name ever again,

I will burn your fucking commune
to the ground.

I hope you find peace and love
and happiness, Rita.

(CHILDREN SQUEAL HAPPILY)

Cheers.

I'm starting to think that when God decided not to
give me kids of my own, he was doing rne a favour.

Should that kid be doing that'?
Ah, it's all right.

He'd have to turn on the tap to do any
real damage. The other one's got the tap.

Oi! You kids stop messing around
with the hose.

Oh, fuck! Turn it off!

Fuck!

Babies are so weird. Yeah. They're
like little miniature humans

Yes! That's what they're like!

You better not be stoned
in charge of my daughter, Mandy.

(DOOR OPENS) Only rne.
Where are the kids?

One's down with the chickenpox, so the
other one's contagious, apparently.

Luckily, Brian said he and his
mother- Bloody wooden spoon.

Those kids need a good hiding!
From you'? I don't think so, Ted.

They turned the bloody garden hose on me,
those bastards! Don't call them bastards.

Well, that's what they are. And it's no
wonder, with you mollycoddling them!

They run circles around you -
a pair of fucking 4-year-olds!

And as for that baby screaming down
the house every bloody night-

Don't you dare speak about my kids
like that! Well, then do a better job

of raising them, you
good-for-nothing cow! Ted!

Hey, lay off my sister, Gramps!

(GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC)

What crawled up his Y-fronts?
(DOOR SLAMS) You OK, love?

That was rude and uncalled for. HALTINGLY: I'm
OK. No worries. Ted's, you know, got problems.

Rochelle, uh, check on the boys, will you?
I might take a sec, have a smoke.

(PANTS)

I hope the beers are cold.
Where have you been'?

I went and got plates, like you
asked. The first place was shut.

You've been gone for almost two hours. I
could've done with some help watching the kids.

There's shit-loads of people
hereto help you.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Cheryl.
What'? What is it'?

You know, I don't really wanna
come home to drama if I can help it.

Sorry, Cheryl. Bit of a problem Van
shat himself - and the wall, again

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Jesus Christ. I mean, what is wrong with
the fucking kid? He's just learning, OK?

And sometimes, he gets it on his hand and he
doesn't like it, so he wipes it on the wall.

Fucking disgusting! I have been
slaving in the kitchen all morning.

Rita took off somewhere,
and Ted... (EXHALES) Ted...

What? Yelled at Cheryl.
Called her a cow. Why?

Because your father is
a grumpy old arsehole, is why!

Please, would it kill you
to just... help, this onetime?

I bring home the bacon, Cheryl. I don't
put on a fucking apron and cook it.

Then you're just
as big a fuckwit as him!

You don't like it'?

Then fuck off out of here!

(BELL CHIMES)
About time.

Were you expecting someone else? No. Didn't
you have a family occasion or something?

Yeah. The twins' birthday party. Slutty
Pants has taken over the kitchen.

Well, there's nothing going on here.
It's dead as a doornail. Good.

Here now, OK?

Stop panicking, OK'?
Lyudmilla.

Hello.
Mrs West. Hello.

Package late arriving.
He late, I late.

Here now. Chill fuck out.

We're good.

So what've we got here, Ngaire? What does it
matter? It's a simple business transaction.

That you do at your own house.
Not at my shop, not on my time!

Listen to it! When did you
get so self-righteous'?

What if the pigs had followed her here?
I'd be dragged down with both of you,

and wouldn't Little Miss Piggy Riana
love that? Oh, don't be dramatic.

No one's interested The police
aren't- Get the fuck out, Ngaire.

You're fired.

Well, thank God for that! I'm
too good for this junk shop, anyway.

You don't have to put up with that shit from the
men in this family, Cheryl. This is your day.

Like fuck. This party's not for the kids. It's for
Wolf's olds and their mates to get pissed, as usual.

Hey, four years ago, you pushed
two babies out of your foo-foo. Two!

Who else in this house has done that?
No one.

You're a superhero, Cheryl. They
should be worshipping you. (SCOFFS)

Stay here.
What are you doing'?

Getting the kids. We're going.
We can't leave the party.

Today should be about you and the bloody
miracles you created. So don't fight it.

(DOWNBEAT GUITAR MUSIC)

Over there, and over the back there.

Yeah. Ginger plant. Very nasty.
Burn it all down.

Still liking your enthusiasm, Barry, but remember
what we spoke about yesterday? Safety first?

Good. Right, let's get
into it, then.

Actually, um, I've got hay fever. I don't think I
should be here. You didn't have hay fever yesterday.

Yeah, it just came on this morning. Oh, choice!
Look at these! They've given us flamethrowers, bro!

But now that I think about it...
no, yeah, you do need me.

Where are you lot going? (CHILD
CHUCKLES) (DOOR SLAMS, ENGINE REVS)

Bye! Bye-bye!

(HUMS, LAUGHS)

Any idea why Cheryl and the kids just
took off with that hippie? You're joking.

It might be because Wolf was... how to put it?
A complete arsehole? Ugh. Today of all days?

I didn't tell her to leave Well, you
did say, 'If you don't like it,

'you can fuck off out of here'.
So, off she has fucked, apparently.

Jesus, Wolf. It's OK. We can
have a party without Cheryl.

It'll be better, actually. But can we
have a party for kids without the kids?

Probably just letting off steam. Taking
a moment. She'll be back. Fuck this!

No, Cheryl doesn't get to go! If anyone's leaving,
it's gonna be rne. No, don't. I'm still here.

Puck's sake, Wolf, grow up! I did! And guess
what - it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Wonderful (!)
Everyone needs my lolly cake!

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

- Well, I'm happy to sample.
- (MANDY LAUGHS)

- Mmm!
- (BOTH LAUGH)

Ted!

Cheryl's got her knickers in
a knot and taken off with the boys.

I'm not taking the blame for this, Rita.
The boys were being little shits,

and all I did was tell her so. Eh? I thought
she took off because Wolf was a prick to her.

Oh.

Yeah, probably. Jesus. I leave the
house for 10 bloody minutes...

(BABY CRIES)

Hey. I'm about to give Brandon
a feed and then put him down,

and then, I really need to do some
housework. You have any beer'?

Don't you have somewhere else you're
meant to be drinking beer? Nah.

Wolf, you're not missing your son's birthday
party to be with rne. I'm leaving Cheryl.

I'm done with her. Marriage - also not really
my thing. (SIGHS) So where's that beer?

Do we have to go? It'll be fun.
I know what would be fun -

going out for lunch.
Top Of The Town'?

It's a barbie out the back at Ted and Rita's, like
the old days. I just told Rita to go fuck herself.

So say sorry, have a drink or two, and Bob's
your- I'm not saying sorry to that cow.

Don't, then. Me, I'm heading over
to my mate's for a piss-up.

It's not a piss-up. It's
a 4-year-old's birthday party!

Welcome to my home.

Hi, Mum. This is Cheryl, who I was
telling you about. Hello, Cheryl!

And this little pearl is Pascalle?
Such a beautiful name!

Hi, bubba.

Hey, boys, would you like to come and meet
our chickens and our goat? BOTH: Yeah!

Yeah! Come on, let's go!
Off you go!

They'll be in heaven. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, they
love animals. No, I mean my mum and them.

They're so clucky. They keep nagging me to have a
kid, but I don't want to lose my tits, you know?

You haven't lost yours. Yours are amazing, but some
of the ladies here - like old, deflated balloons.

Anyway, what do you wanna do now?
I don't know.

What am I supposed to do'?

You still don't believe me'?
I'm leaving her. It's over.

You're sleep-deprived and you
and Cheryl aren't getting on, but-

Don't tell me what I think,
Anne-Marie, or what I want.

She's got three kids under 4 It's hard enough
with one. And you're hardly ever there

No, because I'm here.

You know, it's a bit fucked up
you're on Cheryl's side.

You married her, so she must
be a good chick. Just go.

I'll see you in a day or two.

He's fallen asleep That'll be why he's
not burping I'll put him down, eh?

I'm gonna put you to bed,
little guy. Eh'? (CHUCKLES)

Then I'm gonna take your
mummy to bed. Wolf!

Guys, do you see something?

Oh, what the hell?

Hi!
Oh, good (!) The clown's here.

Gidday. Afternoon This
is the West residence?

Who the fuck ordered a clown?
You did, Ted.

The boys said they wanted Hulk Hogan
or one of those wrestling men,

and you couldn't find any in the
Yellow Pages, so you ordered a clown.

Yeah. No, no, I remember that. Of
course I do Where would you like me?

Far away! Far, far away!

Uh, so where are the birthday boys?
They left.

O... K. Uh, I'm due back at Clownstock after
this gig. What the fuck's Clownstock?

Uh, like Woodstock, but with clowns.
(SNICKERS)

Well, not just clowns. We've got
mimes, the odd magician. (LAUGHS)

Yeah. So they're all at Te Pai Park
as we speak, and I'm missing it.

But a paid gig comes along, so here I am!
This one's your mess to sort out

Yeah, uh, the thing is, Mr...

Clown, um, the party's off.

We don't need you.
(LAUGHS)

Are you OK, Phineas? The clown's
not leaving. He won't leave

For fuck's sake. How many are there of you?
And you can't handle one clown?

I said I will leave when
I receive my cancellation fee,

which is equal to
100% of my original fee!

And I said stick it up
your clown-hole!

You've got five seconds to give me my fuckin'
money before I punch your lights out!

Five! Four!

Three! Two!

One.

You asked for it. You fucking well
asked for it! Fucking piece of...

(HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER) Right, let's get those
sausages off', eh? A man could starve to death.

Oh, dear! I wasn't touching myself,
I swear! Those are natives.

Quick, get the fire extinguisher!
Hurry!

Or we could just enjoy the spectacle.
What's wrong with you?

Those are native trees! I got this!
(FIRE EXTINGUISHER GUSHES)

Oh yeah. The flames
have a different smell.

Destroying New Zealand flora is
the opposite to Community Service.

I'm going to have to ring Corrections now.
You can't be here, Barry.

(CHILDREN LAUGH, YELL)

Cheryl, meet Vern,
the leader of our community.

A pleasure to meet you, Cheryl.

(SIGHS)

Can I get you a drink of anything?
Water'? Tea'? Feijoa wine'?

I'm OK.

It's just nice relaxing without the kids
under my feet. They're running me ragged.

You'd never be able to tell. You
look fresh, glowing. (CHUCKLES)

As if!

You are beautiful, Cheryl.

Well, ha, ha. (CHUCKLES)

I like you. I understand how hard it
can be, being everything to everybody.

It can leave you
feeling drained, yes'?

And to be under-appreciated
by those around you.

Would you like to talk'?

(BUZZING ROCK MUSIC)

(SIGHS)

According to your files, you have
qualifications as an electrician. Yes.

This residence needs rewiring, and will
also need a security system installed.

If you don't mind me asking, if this is Community
Service, how come we're at someone's private house?

Well, this house belongs
to a pillar of the community.

So by servicing the pillar, we're actually servicing
the community? Exactly. Upstairs for thinking!

I've never met a pillar before No. No, I
don't suppose you move in those circles.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

(OMINOUS GUITAR STRUMMING)

I think the shine might have gone from our
marriage, you know? God, I sound like my mother.

I mean...

it shouldn't be.

Not me and Wolf. We weren't
meant to end up like this.

Know what the problem is, Cheryl? Monogamous relationships.
They just don't work. They don't make sense.

Well... they do to me. I'm not
really a sharing kind of girl.

To each their own, ladies. I
understand where Cheryl's coming from.

I once had a love who was married to someone else,
and the thought of sharing her drove rne quite mad.

Oh, Vern. Sonia, Rochelle, why don't
you two go check on Cheryl's children?

Ooh, and rustle up some
afternoon tea.

Are you hungry?
A bit.

There's nothing wrong with monogamy.

I have several monogamous
relationships at the moment, in fact.

S'pose I should pop home -
see how Brian's managing.

Fucking fine. He'll be fucking fine.
Everything's fine, Rita. Mm. Sounds it (!)

The perfect husband. Good with the children,
tidies the house, earns good money...

doing I don't actually know what.
Something in an of lice. (KNOCK ON DOOR)

I thought there was a party.
What are you doing here, Ngaire?

I know we had words, Rita, but I thought
I should be here for Wolf and his sons.

You couldn't care less about Wolf
and his sons. That's not fair.

Well, the lot of them have buggered off, anyway,
so good luck to you (!) Glass of Riesling, Ngaire?

No, thank you, Carol.

You know what? Fuck it. We could sit
around here, feeling sorry for ourselves,

or we could have a bloody party. Falani, go
and get the other stereo. Set it up outside.

Cos it's magic what she do.

Magic what she do.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Magic what she do.

Love,

don't think twice.

Magic what she do.

I mean, everything's fine.
It's fucking fine.

So I've been trying to figure out why
I'm so unhappy. Mm-hm. And did you?

I think I finally put
my finger on it.

SLURS: It's when Brian puts
his finger on it...

nothing happens.

Fancy a quick one? In there? Might
need to give it a few minutes.

The little red sausages didn't
agree with me- In here, then.

Oh. I thought you meant a 'quickie'
quickie. Not really time or place, is it?

Lefty Munroe - a square'?

Let's just have a few drinks
with our mates, eh'?

Yes, he's been an arsehole...
Mm.

But we've been together for so long. I
sometimes think that a marriage is...

well, it's like the ocean, Cheryl. Is
this going to be some hippy-dippy shit?

Cause, no of fence, that's just not
really me. Yeah, bear with me.

The tide comes in,
but it also has to go out.

And in those times of low tide, you have to trust
that the waves will roll back in again, hm?

Right.

No, I get it.

Thanks, Vern.

Shall we make love now'?

I don't wanna hide any more. I wanna take my
kid to the park, take my girl out for a drink,

instead of being trapped
in these four walls.

I thought you liked my house. Come on,
Anne-Marie. Don't pretend this isn't something.

You were my first, my very first-
Yes, I remember.

I was gonna say 'first love'.

Oh Jesus, Wolf. Don't get
sentimental. It doesn't suit you.

You had a fight with your missus. You'll
get over it. You and I never fight.

Because I'm not your missus! If I was, the shine
would wear off' pretty fucking fast, I promise you.

I'm sick of hiding (KNOCK ON
DOOR) SPARKY: Hello? It's me!

I'm sleeping! What the hell, Sparky'?
I just said I was sleeping.

If you were actually sleeping, you couldn't tell
me you were sleeping, cause then you'd be asleep!

Get out!
I just came hereto see my nephew!

Go wait in the kitchen, OK?
And shut the door!

Don't wanna hide any more, huh'?

FALANI: All that child-friendly
food going to waste.

ERIC: Well, we should find them,
bring the kids home.

E, I'm not going to that hippie commune. I might
catch scabies. What do you mean 'commune'?

Well, if she went off with Rochelle, that's where
she'll be, right? Look, no wuckin' forries, Rita

We'll head up there and we'll bring
'em home. I can go, Mrs Rita.

I haven't had any lolly cake. No,
no, it's all right. I'll sort this.

You are so lucky he offered.
He has all the moves.

Sexual intercourse with Vern
can be extremely healing.

I don't want to cause of fence, but that is
fucking disgusting You do know Vern's not my dad?

(LAUGHS) Oh, God no! But still,
it's mum and daughter sharing-

I wanted Rochelle's first sexual experience to
be with a quality lover, so I suggested Vern.

And he's good, Cheryl. You should go for
it. You can just lie there and relax.

If you don't feel like telling your
husband afterwards, you don't have to.

No one has to know.

I really appreciate this - you offering
me your husband, or whatever -

but I'm gonna have to say no.
Oh, that's a shame.

(GENTLE ACOUSTIC MUSIC)

You know, there were times with me and
Wolf when the tide got really, really low.

Couldn't even see the fucking ocean.

But at least we were there,
looking for it together.

That's how it's always been, you know?
He's the one that makes things better.

(CAR APPROACHES)

What the hell'?

Rita! Welcome back to lsengard!

I'm here to collect my grandchildren and
their mother. Cheryl, do you wish to go?

I like ii here.
No one says I'm a dumb housewife.

No one takes me for granted,
tells me to fuck off.

It's called being in a family.
Get used to it.

All right. You don't want to be a
housewife? How about a job - part-time?

It's easier said than done. Well, it just so
happens I have an opening at the Galleria.

Work for you? Couple of days a week. Get
you out of the house, money of your own.

Look... I know Wolf was a prick,

and Ted. Total shits,
the pair of them.

But you're the mother of my grandchildren,
Slutty Pants, so we're family.

You, me, the two bastards,
and those kids.

One big, fucked-up family.

Where are the kids'?
Uh, the boys are feeding the chooks,

and some really nice lady's
looking after Pascalle somewhere.

You mean, the really nice lady
currently breastfeeding her? Oh fuck.

Don't worry, Patricia breastfed me
when I was little too.

(SIGHS) So, what did you two talk about?
She talked and I listened.

Tell your boy to look after his wife a bit better. If
I had a child- Which, as far as I know, you don't.

I suppose I don't.

(LAUGHTER)

I'm forgetful,

I'm short-tempered.

Sometimes, I feel this...

rage.

That's all normal stuff, Ted, once you've,
you know, had a crack to the head.

We've got unwanted guests. Pigs?
Sorry, Phin. It's worse than that.

(IMPOSING ROCK MUSIC)

You've got to be fuckin' joking.

(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)

We don't want any trouble, OK? Give rne my
fuckin' money! We're not scared of you clowns.

Well, most of us aren't.
I warned you.

(GRUNTS)

(SPLIT ENZ'S 'MY MISTAKE')

Go, Falani!

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

l-l-l would help, but
I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Yeah? Show me. Eh?
How you're a lover.

...to see if I could
fall in love again.

Yeah, that was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

Shit. That was quite
a decent pash, actually.

Yeah, that was my mistake.

I'm so proud of Phineas -
facing his coulrophobia.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

That was my mistake.

My mistake, my mistake.

My mistake, my mistake.

My mistake.

Mistake.

Mistake.

Ted!

Enough! Enough!

(PANTS)

There's your fucking
cancellation fee.

That's it. Now get on your miniature
bicycles and ride the fuck away! (LAUGHS)

(MENACING SYNTH MUSIC)

The ginger plant's actually really different from
privet. Privet kind of smoulders before it catches,

whereas ginger crackles and sends out embers, which
can spread to other vegetation if you're lucky.

Can you go now'? I've got shit to do.
Yeah. Bye-bye, Brandon.

Bye, Uncle. Call first next time,
in case it's not convenient.

Thought he'd never bugger off. Why
aren't you dressed and ready to go?

Are you sure that's what you want? It's
what we both want, and you know it.

Hopefully Cheryl's
finished packing a sad.

Forgot my bag!

(TENSE ROCK MUSIC)

Shit.

Aw, just once.
Carol, Carol. I appreciate it, but-

I just wanna remember what it feels
like to climax. Seriously, Carol.

Oh, hell's teeth.

Hi, Brian. I don't want to jump
to any conclusions here, but-

Yes, I am throwing myself at Ben.
But no, I'm not taking advantage.

Oh, honestly, shut your mouth, Brian, unless
you're gonna do something useful with it,

which, odds are, you are not!

She's just had a bit too much to drink,
mate. She's not usually an angry drunk.

Yeah, look, you're not satisfying
her and it's making her crazy.

When was the last time
you made Carol scream, Brian'?

So if you and Anne-Marie are together, that means
my best friend and my sister are together,

and we're all one big happy family! Aw,
I do like Cheryl, though. She's nice.

I don't want you to have to leave her. That
would suck eggs. So, Cheryl or Anne-Marie?

Oh, it's so hard. I see your problem now -
torn between two women, unable to decide.

Not the case. Cheryl's my wife So you've
made your decision? There is no decision

I stay married to Cheryl, I see Anne-Marie,
and you stay fucking quiet about all of it.

Oh. And stop making jokes about
Brandon and Pascalle being together.

You're Brandon's...

Whoa!

I can keep a secret.

(ENGINE HUMS)

Sparky, take the boys inside.
Come on, boys!

(CHILDREN BABBLE)

You've got some apologising to do.
I can run my own marriage, thanks.

Any idea where I just
rescued your family from'?

Didn't think so.
Get your fucking act together.

I'll take her.

I'm sorry, love. You didn't
deserve that bullshit.

Sorry I ran away.

Yeah, me too.

Where did you go'?

I hung outwith Sparky for a bit.

We're gonna have our moments, Wolf. Of
course we are. We've got so many kids.

So many kids.

Sometimes, it's hard to see each other.
When I do see you,

I see someone I still love
like the day I first met her.

Just no more babies, eh'?
Definitely no more babies.

Van and Jethro are toilet training in here,
so you're taking your life in your hands.

You wanna do that try-hard yuppie shit, do
it elsewhere It's just a little bit of fun

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND)

I didn't drink this whole thing, did I?
Hey, urn...

I should probably tell you I spoke
to Brian. Carol, I'm sorry.

Wendy was very aggressive in bed, so I
assumed all women wanted a man to submit.

I want my man to be my man. I can do that, Carol.
I just... don't want to be too rough with you.

I don't want to hurt you. Throw
me around like a rag doll, Brian

Hey, I might just, um... Be aware, my
darling - if you unleash the beast-

I want that beast inside me.
Jesus Christ!

(CHILDREN YELL)

Hey, listen!
Out of the kitchen. Go.

(MOANS) Oh, help! Shut up!

- (BOTH MOAN)
- Ugh!

(BOTH MOAN, EXCLAIM)

What is wrong with these people?
It's a kids' birthday party!

(SHARON O'NEILL'S 'ASIAN PARADISE')

Asian paradise used to haunt me.

Sorry about before, Rita. It wasn't particularly
classy of me. Just sort your shit out, Ngaire.

And you're Grandmother of the Year all of a sudden?
Sitting on your high horse, judging everyone.

We haven't forgotten your crazy years. You
were bonkers! A mad, murderous bitch!

Love, calm down. I mean, who knows how many
bodies she's got buried under the house?

Ngaire.
She was capable. We all know that!

And now, she's got the fucking nerve
to look down her nose at me!

Who the fuck do you think you
are, Rita West? Love, please.

(MUSIC BLURS)

(GASPS) No!

Ngaire!

You are in no state to drive!
(GRUNTS) (ENGINE STARTS, REVS)

(TYRES SQUEAL, ENGINE REVS)

Might give her a moment
or two to cool off, eh'?

Van and Jethro are ready for their birthday cake.
I just don't know where Wolf and Cheryl are.

Let's just do it.

ALL, MUFFLED: Happy birthday to you.
(CHERYL MOANS)

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, Van and Jethro.

(PANTS, GASPS)

Happy birthday to you!

Hip hip...
ALL: Hooray!

Hip hip...
ALL: Hooray!

- (BOTH MOAN, GASP)
- (MUFFLED CHEERING)

(LAUGHS)

(BROODING ROCK MUSIC)

(GLASS mums)

Oh Shit.

Oh, yummy! Yummy cake. Hey'?

Oh, she mauled me, she did.
Mauled me like a bear.

We should call her
Mandy the Bear from now on.

Doesn't really have a ring to it.

Well, Mandy the Animal, then.

Mandy the...

What's something that mauls people?
Mandy. Mandy the Mauler!

(CHUCKLES) That's frightening.
Ooh, it's fun, though.

I've been where you are, Ted -

angry all the time,

pissed off at the world.

Taking it out on the wrong people
doesn't help. Yeah. I was a prick.

Is the lecture over?
Not a lecture - an offer to help...

get revenge.
On the right person, this time.

Frankie Figgs' house? Tick (SIGHS) So he is
a dodgy, corrupt bastard Well done, Sparky

So I guess you want me to wire up the house to
blow up if he tries to turn on the microwave?

Cos I reckon I can manage that No, no You
do the work as asked and you bide your time

You keep your eyes and ears open.
Your person on the inside? Exactly.

The Wests are playing a long game with this
one. It's very important. And I'm your man.

Ooh, lolly cake!
(SCOFFS)

Yeah, that's all well and good, Phin, but what are we
gonna do? Rob his place? Wolf's already done that.

No. Fuck that.

I've got some information that might
help us take the prick all the way down.

But it'll only work if- if the All Blacks
make the Rugby World Cup final at Eden Park.

(OMINOUS BUZZING SYNTH MUSIC)

(HAUNTING GUITAR MUSIC)

(BREATHES SHAKILY)

(VINYL CRACKLES)

(FUNKY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

Fuck the truce. This prick owes me.

Do not fucking move!

Did something go wrong?

(GUNSHOT, GLASS SHATTERS)
Shit!

I want him to look me in the eye
and know what he started.

He will eat you alive
and then spit out the bones.

Leave your sister in peace,
and we'll go for a little walk.

I'm not gonna tell anyone. I swear.

If you mess this up, I don't know
what I'd have to do.

The coke or the money, bitch!
(GRUNTS)

I have no drugs to sell you.

I see you have my money.

After what you did to me,
it's my money now.

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