All language subtitles for Scorpion - 02x07 - Crazy Train.DIMENSION.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

Toby, this is insane.
You could get seriously hurt.

We've done some crazy stuff,

but this is nuttier
than squirrel poop.

He'll pull it off.
We have a plan.

I found six "D" batteries.
I'll put 'em in.

Tell him this is
too dangerous.

Actually, I kind of want
to see how this plays out.

When did you get here?

I'm Ray.

I'm always here.

It should work now.

It's time.

Okay.

Someone push the button.

♪ ♪

Whew.

That was getting kind of heavy.

This was a mistake.
Be careful.

All you have to offer society
is your mind,

so let him work your... body.

All right,
let's go, killer.

Here we go!

Where the hell you think
you're going?

I'm the-the cut man.

I can squirt water
in his mouth.

Yes!

I'm the cut man!

Not now.

In the blue corner,

weighing in at 171 pounds,

from Hawaiian Gardens,

Hector Guardino...

In the red corner,

at 168 pounds,

from MIT undergrad
and Harvard Medical School--

he's got more degrees
than a thermometer,

more knockout punches than a...

Seriously?

Just read the card, zebra.

More knockout punches

than a frat house
refreshment table:

the Doctor of Doom,

the Head-Hunting Headshrink,

the Therapist with a Hit List,

Dr. Tobias Curtis...

Can't believe Happy
didn't make it.

Just focus
on the fight.

Once again,
what's our plan?

I profiled my opponent
online last night.

I know a ton about him.
I'm gonna get in his head.

That is not the plan!

Stick and move,
that's the plan!

Stick and move!

Stick and move!

Keep your feet
under you!

Keep your feet
under you!

You're the reason
your parents got divorced

when you were eight.

Oh, yeah, yeah!

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Maybe I crossed a line.

Oh! Oh!

One... two...
All right, get up.

three...

Get up, Doc!
four...

five...

six...

seven...

Okay...

Here we go.

That's cold.

It's liquid nitrogen.

It should be cold.

12 hours, still swollen.

I hope you've got that boxing
nonsense out of your system.

One more fight.

Just need Happy to see me

in a more manly,
less academic light.

You want more manly?
Lose the hat, already.

And if Happy

were interested in you,
she would have been there.

Sorry.

Sometimes the truth hurts
more than a right hook, buddy.

Guys?

Morning!

What happened to you?

I had my first fight

yesterday evening.

You missed it.

Right. Uh, sorry.

I had a prior engagement.

How did it go?

You should've seen
the other guy.

Oh, yeah, he was
standing over Toby

with his arms raised in triumph.

Yeah, well, hopefully
I'll be there

the next time
somebody hits you.

See that?

She was just busy.

First stage of grief: denial.

Grief over what?

The fact that
your attempted romance

with Happy is dead.

Okay, no offense,

but I'm not about
to give weight

to the psychiatric
musings

of a guy who uses
a superhero lunch box

and someone who
still watches Bonanza.

Second stage of grief: anger.

Wally!

Uno momento s'il vous plait?

Yeah.

Wow.

Today is your
lucky day, brother.

I'm taking you to
the beach with me.

Sit in traffic for hours

just to lie on dirt
next to water?

Come on!

The beach is fun.

Girls, waves, horseshoe crabs...

Hey, hey.
Don't-don't touch that.

Put that down.

Yeah, o-okay.
Sorry.

I just...
I... saw it there.

It's cool. It's just...
Okay.

it's not mine, okay?

Yeah.

You know, Paige said that
you used to be a firefighter.

Is that a bravery award?

Not for me.

Anyway, why are we
talking about the past

when the present is so tasty?

So get your junk in some trunks,
all right?

We are outta here
like Vladimir.

Come on.

Oh, no, I can't.

I have, uh, plans.

Oh, that's right.

Paula's kid invited you
to the science museum.

I forgot.
It's Paige.

And I couldn't go.

Making too much rocket progress.

Hold on a second.

You could've spent
your Saturday

hanging out with
a beautiful woman,

but you picked work.

I have to work.

Have fun sitting in
bumper-to-bumper traffic.

Okay, see, joke's
on you, my brother,

because I am
taking the subway

straight to
Santa Monica.

Subway?
That's another reason not to go.

Can't believe the school
is making us take

the children to the museum
on a Saturday.

I know.

Lost weekend, right?

No.

It's just...

Tyler's almost
a pre-Eagle Scout

and there's
an event today.

Does Ralph do Scouts?

Um... no.
Oh.

Well, normally we have
basketball practice afterwards,

but by the time we get back,
it'll be halfway over.

Does Ralph play sports?

Ralph is more of a...
indoor cat.

My telescope
has a six-inch

f8 reflector.

Most are eight
inches now,

but I prefer the older version.

Who cares?

Mom...

why do I have to be
partners with him?

Your teacher chose
the partners.

You get what you get
and you don't get upset.

Now approaching Grand Park.

Okay, uh, Ralph, telescope away,
our stop's coming up.

That was our stop, Mom.

Yeah, don't worry.

Weekend schedules
sometimes get messed up.

We'll just get off
on the next stop and, uh, walk.

Oh, boy. That's a rocky ride.

Um, Ralph, hold onto something

in case we hit
another bump.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God,

are you okay?

Ralph?

You okay?

Ralph.

We didn't hit a bump.

The train's going
too fast for the track

and it's speeding up.

Something's wrong, Mom.

Ah.

Okay,

now that I know
the doc's peeper's okay,

I'm not wasting my
Saturday in this joint.

See you when
duty calls.

Okay, Paige, can you ask Ralph
how fast you're going?

Cabe...

Can you get SoCal D.O.T.

on the phone immediately?

Okay. What's going on?

Paige and Ralph
are on the subway,

and their train's gaining
speed and missing stops.

I'm sure it's just
a rectifiable snafu, but...

Calling 'em now.

Uh, Ralph says we're going

approximately 75 miles an hour.

Uh, what line are you on?

The Olympic line.

Uh, it's automated.
No conductors.

Oh, my God.

Walter, there's something
going on here.

People are getting scared.

You hear her voice?

That's real panic.

Her instincts are screaming--
this isn't just a snafu.

Something is seriously off
with that train.

And I'm telling you,
get me your supervisor

or I'm gonna come down there

and kick every square inch
of your ass!

Got SoCal D.O.T.
on the line.

Total incompetents.

Yeah, you just keep
sweet-talking 'em, Cabe.

- You're doing great.
- Oh, boy.

I just hacked
the D.O.T. control center,

and Paige's train is going
80 miles an hour and gaining.

Okay, this just
reached DEFCON 1.

Subway cars average
30 miles per hour.

50s is pushing it, 70s is unsafe

and if it reaches mid-90s,
someone is getting hurt.

Agent Gallo?

This is James Taggit.

I'm a supervisor

at SoCal Department
of Transportation.

Mr. Taggit.

Are you aware
that you presently have

an out-of-control train
on your Olympic line?

The situation red-lighted
moments ago.

We're just trying
to figure out...

What the hell?

Relax, Mr. Taggit.
That's just me.

I've hacked your system.

I'm giving the command
for the train to slow down,

but nothing is responding.

Question one:
who the hell are you?

And question two:

how did you get
into the D.O.T. server?

Answer one:
my name is Walter O'Brien

and answer two: your security
sucks, it's atrocious.

As for your software,
there's a glitch somewhere

that is not allowing it
to respond to commands.

Uh, Walt, we've got
a bigger problem.

Bigger than
a runaway train

under the streets
of Los Angeles?

Yeah, like if that train

is 20.5 miles
from approaching

an unsustainable
curve radius.

I don't like the sound of that.

We've got a major cant issue.

Screw that.

There's no "can't" in Scorpion.

"Cant" is the name
of the height difference

between the outside and
inside rails on a track curve.

The tilt creates a down-thrust
to counter sideways force.

And at the current speed

of Paige's train,
the cant can't work.

The train will derail.

I like the sound
of that even less.

Paige, I will fix this!
Sly, stay on with the D.O.T.

See if you can regain
control of the system.

Where is the curve in the track?

It's under the corner
of Olympic and Arlington.

Average 80 miles an hour,
don't stop at any red lights,

and you'll get there
in just above 11 minutes.

It's gonna be close.
Let's go!

Paige, you'll have to get
all the passengers

to the right side of the train

and have them push
against the train wall.

Counterbalance is one of
the keys to your survival.

One of the keys?
What's the other?

How often they empty the grease
traps at Chucky Burger.

Go get canisters
from the gas station!

Happy, hose!

Yeah, okay,

okay.

Okay, I know it sounds crazy,

but we all have to get to
the right side of the train.

Let's just pull the emergency cord!
No.

Sudden braking
will make us derail,

or so I've been told.

And piling to one side
could make things worse.

This train ain't exactly steady.

It'll work, mister.

You're a construction worker--
you'll understand.

It's like a horizontal
counterbalance

on the back
of a construction crane.

It's the theory
of stable equilibrium.

Okay, everybody, let's get
to the right side!

Let's go!

Thank you, honey.

What are you doing
to my phone?

No time to get
to the other cars,

so I had to tap
into the P.A. system.

Had to strip the insulation off
your earbuds, Ms. Goldberg.

That's okay.

Attention, everybody.

We have an emergency
announcement.

They only had two.

- Should be enough.
- How exactly

is putting grease on the tracks
gonna slow down the train?

The grease will lower
the coefficient of friction

between the train track
and the train wheel.

This might be enough to slow the
train down to survive the curve.

I don't like the word
"might" in that sentence.

Sly, can math ease Toby's mind?

Only if a 42% chance
of survival helps.

Guys, this is really...

Not good. I can hear
the train coming down the track.

Well, run faster then.

You're behind me.

Curve's up ahead.

Okay.

Walter, there's no
more room over there.

Get over here before you get hit.
Almost done.

O'Brien, move it!

I can't believe
it worked.

I can't believe it worked.

I can't believe
it worked.

I can't believe that worked.

Paige, I got a good
look at the train

when it was passing,
it's an A-250.

Uh, there should
be a hatch

in the front cab of the train.

Find it, and I'll talk you
through switching operation

from automatic to manual,
and we can stop that sucker.

It's locked.

After 9/11, trains
were required to install

electronically locked
security doors.

Give me the nine-volt battery
from your stud finder.

Stud finder?

I can't go near those things.

They just go off.

Hold this.

Uh, you want to fill me in here?

Most electronic doors
use a servomotor.

The computer sends an electronic
signal to unlock it.

But since that computer
isn't working,

I'll send the signal myself.

That's why he doesn't
have time for Scouts.

Okay, I'm in.

Uh, there's a hatch
on the floor.

Okay, that's the one. Open it.

Okay, look for a yellow
switch in a yellow box

right near the opening.

There's a yellow box,
but there's no switch in it.

Okay, that's impossible, that's
how those trains are designed.

Okay, feel inside the box.

Is there, uh, a remnant
of a lever or switch?

Just a bolt, th-there's
n-nothing attached to it.

Ugh, someone took out
the switch.

What does that mean?

It means the train isn't
malfunctioning from a glitch.

Someone sabotaged that train,

and whoever did that
is controlling it remotely.

Can't I just pull the-the cable
from the router,

- like I do at home?
- No, they're kept

in locked iron boxes on the
underside of the train's frame.

Why the hell are they there?

So crazy people don't pull

the cable from the router.

I'm sorry, but as of now,

there's no way for you
to stop the train.

What do they mean the train
can't be stopped?

It can't be stopped manually,
but some of the smartest people

in the world are working
on a solution.

Guys, I need a solution now!

♪ Scorpion 2x07 ♪
Crazy Train
Original Air Date on November 2, 2015

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

Sly, any ideas
from the D.O.T.?

I just got off the phone

with Deputy Director
Cooper at Homeland.

The D.O.T. has
been ordered

to turn control of the
situation over to us.

Homeland must think
this is terrorism.

There's no other reason they'd
exercise their jurisdiction.

Well, they're wrong.

The subway's
a byzantine rats' nest

of dead ends, tight corridors,
half-finished terminals.

If they were terrorists,

they'd have crashed that train a
million different ways already.

Not to mention no
one's taking credit,

no demands, no release
of a manifesto.

This doesn't follow
the terrorist playbook.

Whoever did this has
an ulterior motive

to just controlling a train.

Look, all the trains
are being called back

to their various yards.

Safety maneuver.

Now there's no chance
that Paige's train

will collide with another one.

Maybe that's
the ulterior motive.

Getting the trains
back to the yards?

No, no, no,
clearing the tracks.

What if whoever's
behind this

set the whole thing up
just so the D.O.T.

would clear
all the subway lines,

save for one lone train?

Why the hell would
they do that?

I don't know.

But they'd have to have
a darn good reason

to want to be on those tracks

with no risk
of getting run over.

Okay, so most of the
tunnels are built

under, uh, commercial districts
or low-rent neighborhoods.

Uh, doesn't really help
with a motive.

What if there's something
in the tunnels themselves?

No, I've done
some urban exploring

down there on my bike.

Nothing in those tunnels
except rats and more rats.

You know, some
of the tunnels predate

the L.A. airport's
construction.

There are terminals built
right on top of them.

L.A. airport is one of
the most secure in the country.

Okay, our bad guy could use
the underground access

from the now-clear
subway tunnels

to get past
all the security

and go right up
into the airport.

Doc, you might be wrong about
that no-terrorism theory.

Well, if I am,
we better move fast,

'cause those tracks
are clear now.

An attack could go down at any minute.
Happy.

Yes, I know, I drive
crazy. Let's go.

Just give me the keys.

Tyler, everything
will be all right.

Everything
will be okay.

I promise.

You guys need
to wrap this up ASAP.

We got 10,000 passengers
evac'd in the street.

If they miss their
flights for no reason...

- Terrorism's a good reason.
- Already told you

we've been through
every inch of the airport.

No suspicious packages, no
traces of explosives. Nothing.

We just checked inside
this room 20 minutes ago.

And Customs has
had double security

outside this door all day--
no one's come in or out.

Open the door; this is
the last place we look.

If there's nothing there, I'll
take the heat for this mess.

Oh, great.

So much for nobody going
inside or out.

Well, they came under.

This isn't terrorism,
this is a heist.

What the hell were you guys
keeping in this place?

The Kellion collection, $50
million of British gold coins,

being shipped to some Silicon
Valley billionaire.

Not anymore.

How'd they get in
without anyone hearing?

Hydro-drill
with a silencer.

Hammer wrapped in a hand towel.

You wouldn't hear it
from all the way out there.

They didn't hear it from
all the way out there.

Heard that.

PhD I have, but I go in the
hole with the rats and the bugs.

All right.

You know, for
the record,

I was right about this
not being terrorism.

Since no one's pointing
that out, I thought I would.

I was right.

Up there.

Freeze!

Okay, everyone off the
track. I have an idea.

Can't out-run electricity
now that he's wet.

He's conductive as long as
he's within a foot of the rail.

Strong pulse-- he's
just knocked out.

Found the coins, nothing else.

Yeah, that makes sense--
he steals the gold

while some partner somewhere
remotely controls the train.

Not for long.
Sylvester,

how far away is the train?

Its current path has it just
a few minutes from you,

headed towards the Olympic
and Westwood stop. Why?

'Cause I'm getting on board.

Suicidal genius
says what now?

This guy has nothing on him
to help with the train,

but if I can hardwire
into the train's computer,

then I can build a firewall
to block off the incoming signal

that's controlling it.

Then once
it's blocked,

Sylvester can slow down
the train gradually.

Happy, you're gonna drive me
to Olympic and Westwood.

Hold on, how the hell
are you gonna

get on a train going
90 miles an hour?

I presume with great caution.

Better hurry if you want
to catch that train.

Really?

Couldn't help myself.

Ralph, I have to assume
these trains weren't designed

for these kind of speeds.

Structural integrity
is already compromised.

Mechanical failure is certain
if the train isn't stopped.

Wonderful.
It'll be okay.

Walter will be here any second.
That's right, stay optimistic.

No, really, he'll be
here any second. Look.

Oh, God.

I seem to have overshot
the emergency window.

It won't open.

Walter, you're coming up on
a junction box in 25 seconds.

You need to get inside.

The emergency door, we
can pull him in here.

It's not working.

Ugh, mass transit,
of course it's broken.

Paige, in 20 seconds,
I'm broken.

We need to do something
or I die.

I don't know what to do.

You are normally the person
in charge of these situations.

Yeah, well, not while
I'm hanging off a train.

Ralph, you need
to help me out here, buddy.

Is anyone wearing
porcelain jewelry?

Even just the smallest piece
can break tempered glass.

Yeah, yeah.
Stand back.

My telescope.

I'll get you a new one.

Damn, Paige.

Okay, now, Ralph,
we need to hard-wire

my laptop into the train system

so I can build
a firewall-blocking

wireless access to the router.

We cut off the bad guy's access,
we can drive the train.

That's my boy.

Hey, you guys might not have

enough time to get
that firewall down.

You've been burning up track
for way too long.

The gearbox can go
at any moment.

Cabe, I think our best bet
is for you to find

whoever's controlling
that train.

What do you think
I'm trying to do?

Who's your partner
controlling that train?

I've stolen hundreds
of millions

for-for clients from
Hong Kong to Dubai.

I talk, they kill me.

I keep quiet, I get
12 years, I do nine.

And when I get out,
they reward me--

millions-- for keeping quiet.

So what's in it for me
to cooperate?

What the hell are you doing?

What you clearly can't.

Stuff this jerk inside.
To what end?

I'm sending him
to sleepaway camp

to get the name of his partner.

Can you trust the guy
with the genius IQ?

You're wasting
your time.

I'm not claustrophobic,
all right?

I'll just go in there
and take a nap!

Sweet dreams.
Aah!

Now what?

Let's take this putz for a ride!

Okay, I'm making progress.

Just configured
the first network card.

You're not making
fast enough progress.

I know, Happy already told me
about the gearbox.

No, screw the gearbox!

You're coming up
on a split in the tracks

18 miles ahead.

Right now, the train
is going to turn left.

And it's gonna send you

head first into
an unfinished subway platform.

But if it goes right,
you'll land on a straight

stretch of track
for several miles.

Then send us right!
I can't.

When the D.O.T. recalled
the rest of the trains

back to the yard,

they locked all the switches.

The D.O.T. is going to take

20 minutes to unlock
the switch system!

Can the switch be
controlled manually?

Uh, let me check.

Yes, but you need to hit
the lever on the switch itself.

Okay, Walter, keep on that
firewall. I'll handle this.

Give me a comm!
Uh, okay.

We need anything of length!

Sir, I need your cane.

Sarah, start tearing
your scarf into strips.

I need it to tie
this stuff together.

We've been doing this forever.
This is stupid.

There is three primal fears
everyone shares.

Extinction-- ceasing to exist.

Mutilation-- having one's
body boundaries infiltrated.

And loss of autonomy--
feeling entrapped or paralyzed.

Being buried alive
covers all three.

That should be enough.

Hey, Cabe?

You got a hat?

It's boiling out here.

Are those shovels?

What the hell you guys doing?!

You're in Angeles National
Forest, dingus.

To be more accurate,

you're in a trench
in Angeles National Forest.

I would start holding my
breath if I were you.

You kidding me?!

You're cops!

You can't
bury me alive!

You take my friends' lives,

we take yours--
they die, you die!

Soil here is ripe
with centipedes.

The good news is,
you'll be mostly dead

when they get
in your intestines.

All right, all right!
My partner's name is Aldo!

He's controlling the train
out of a warehouse!

4343 Cooke Street!

Now get me
the hell out of here!

Let's go.

Hey!

What is that?

Uh, magic wand-- it's gonna
let me change the track switch

lever without ever
leaving the train.

Well, I'll-I'll do it.

No, you need
to build a firewall.

Efficiency dictates
that one of us each try

to solve this problem to double
our chances of success.

And since I can't code,

I get to hang outside
of the speeding train.

I don't like this.
What?

Me taking a risk or me
using logic against you?

Both.

Okay, Paige?

Think of it
like a giant light switch.

Got it!

You're gonna hit the lever,

change tracks,
buying enough time

for Walter to get control
of the train digitally.

Right.
And if you miss,

you go left, right into
the concrete platform.

Sylvester, I know
the situation!

I'm sorry, I'm nervous!

Walter, I do not
like the sound of this!

At 92 miles per hour,
she is never

gonna be able to hold
onto that lance.

I can do it!

It's just like when I take
Ralph to Medieval Times.

You need a backup plan!

Don't move!

You better hope
you can reach

for that before I shoot.

I think that's my buddy's seat.

Nice, subtle.

All right, Walter,
we found the remote user.

I'm at his computer now.

Then slow us down!

It's not that easy.

He had locked-in
operational protocol.

If I want to stop the train,
I have to shut it down

and reboot first.
Not enough time!

Paige, we're 30 seconds
away from that switch!

You got to hit that lever!

Yeah, I can see the switch!

I'll be able to hit it!

We'll be okay!

Oh, my God, I dropped it!

Walter, we're gonna crash!
Aah!

What are we gonna do?

I don...
I don't have an answer.

What the heck is that?!

I think that's our backup plan.

Okay.

That was amazing, Happy!

I told you you weren't gonna be
able to hold onto that pole.

It's done--
I shut down the remote protocol.

Walter, you should have
manual control now.

Happy, I can drive
this thing now-- any advice?

Apply the brakes gradually.

Any more than a nine percent
depression rate,

and you will jackknife
at that speed.

Use a light hand
and you'll coast

right into the downtown station.

Copy that.
Here goes.

Walter, what the hell
is happening?!

Happy, we're overheating!

That's impossible.

Okay, unless some
of the Chucky Burger grease

leaked into the brake pads.

Okay, lard has a flash-burn
point of 301 degrees.

The friction is
heating things up.

We've lost the brakes
and we're still going 88!

Walter, in six miles
you're going to reach

the entrance tunnel
to the station!

This train is a wide-body--
swaying at this speed,

it'll hit the sides
of the tunnel and derail!

Maybe not!
I have an idea.

Cops will be by
for you shortly.

Doc?

We got to get
to the train station.

I am already on my way.

O'Brien, what exactly
is your idea?

Guys, everybody, listen to me!

You have to get
onto the next car!

Okay? It's for your safety!

Come on, faster! Faster!
Empty the car!

Now what?

Okay, now that we've got
control of the train,

we can decouple the cars.

The front car will crash,

but the rear cars
will slow to a stop.

Okay, that's part
of a two-step process.

Now, you guys get
onto the next car.

Ralph, there's an operating
panel near the door.

There's a decoupling lever--
you flip it,

it sends a signal.

I accept the signal
and then I have ten seconds

to get onto your side

before both cars
separate.

Okay, we have
more than enough time,

but you have to hurry.

Okay, be careful.

I will.

Mommy, there's
no decoupling lever in here.

Walter, no!

Someone needs to stay on here
to disengage the cars.

It's how the train was designed.

Walter, don't do this!

I'm sorry.

Walter, no!

Walter,
once you remove the weight

of those back cars, your car
will gain speed and it will ping

around that narrow tunnel
like a pinball!

It is guaranteed death!

And guaranteed life
for Paige and Ralph.

Walter!

Walter, don't do this.

Walter, you have
exactly 19 seconds

until you reach that tunnel!

You need to do something!

19 seconds--
he's not gonna make it!

The brake cord!

No, you know what happens

when you pull that thing!

I'm not gonna pull it!

I'm gonna use it
to get out of here.

Six seconds!

Five, four,

three, two,

one!

Okay, here it comes!

I can't see anything.

There's nothing
but twisted metal and smoke.

Little help!

Oh, thank God!

Walter, what are you doing?

You just hanging around?

That joke never gets old.

Oh, very funny.
Some assistance?

Yeah, I got you, kid.
Let go!

I guess your plans

to work on the rocket today
were derailed.

Seriously?

Walter?

Oh, Paige, you know,
next time maybe you...

Don't ever do something
like that to me again!

Come on.

Great, she hits
harder than me.

I would give anything

for Happy to care enough
to slap me.

Bargaining.

Third stage of grief.

It's just so disheartening.

And there's depression.

I've counted the gold coins.

One of them's missing.

Oh, I'm not a thief.

I just wanted
to play Proton Arnold

with a $2 million quarter.

I'll go get it.

Ooh. Yo!

So?

Polly knock
some sense into you?

It's Paige,
and I made a calculated decision

to save passengers.

Whoa, see, I'm not
talking about the train.

I'm talking about you ignoring
your feelings for her.

I did have feelings,

but now they're
under control.

Anyway, shouldn't you be
back in the camper?

Denial ain't just a river
in Turkey, my friend.

If you really believed
they were controlled,

you wouldn't feel the need
to distance yourself from her.

Right? Like saying
you need to work,

instead of going
to the museum with her

and the-the kid, you know,
with the Beatles haircut...

His name's Ralph.
Sounds right.

Anyway, look, as
your best friend,

I can tell you, putting
distance between you

and people you care about?

That doesn't end well.

Is this from experience?

This have something to do

with the medal I
saw this morning?

You said it wasn't yours.

Ray?

You say we're best friends.

Whose is it?

Danny Tuggle.

We joined
the department together.

Same house,
same engine company.

I-I didn't really have
a family, so he and his wife--

they kind of,
they adopted me.

You know, I ate with them
three times a week.

I was, I was godfather
to his son.

Ten years ago,
there was a five-alarm.

Downtown.
Gas line blew.

Smoke everywhere,
and I got a,

I got a lungful...

before I got my mask on.

And-and-and, you know, Danny,

he was, he was, he was down.

He was on the ground.

And I-I tried to...

get his regulator
on his mouth.

But I was getting dizzy.

Wake up in the hospital.

And Danny never wakes up.

It was my fault.
It was my fault.

I should've got
the regulator on his mouth.

That's unfortunate.

Was supposed to...

present the medal
to his wife at the funeral.

But...
I couldn't face her,

her son, so I just...

never saw them again.

I distanced myself
from people I loved.

I was wrong.

And you're making
the same mistake.

Don't let the distance
get so far

you can never
re-couple the train.

Okay?

Cool, Chet, I will see you

at Dorsey's in a half-hour.

See you jokers tomorrow.

Good night, kid.

I'm gonna go to that club.

That's not a good idea, Doc.

You really need
another black eye?

I'm not looking
for trouble.

I-I just need
to see Happy...

happy with Chet.

And then I'm
at the fifth stage of grief.

Acceptance.

And then I can move on.

Hey.

How is he?

He's out cold.

Uh, but he did
great today.

I didn't think he could impress
me any more than he has.

And, uh, not only me.

Tyler Goldberg texted.

He wants a playdate with Ralph.

Why wouldn't he?

He's a great kid.

Look, about before--
I shouldn't have hit you.

I-I know you
didn't mean it, so...

No, I meant it.

Walter, you're
always thinking about

the greater good and how
everybody else needs saving,

but I need you
to be selfish for once

and think about yourself.

I'm confused.

Look at that boy over there.

Think about how important

you are to him.

Think about the team,
your friends.

How important
you are to them.

Think about...

Think about...

how important
you are to me.

Walter, I hit you
because you scared me.

I was scared I was
gonna lose you today.

I saw you disappearing
into the-the blackness,

and it frightened me.

Walter?

I need you to come
with me down to this club.

Toby's following
Happy down there,

and I'm worried things might
get dicey with this Chet guy.

Doc'll listen to you.

You should go.

Okay.

Holy crow, it's a comedy club.

There's Chet.

So, I have
a six-year-old daughter.

Please, don't clap.
She looks like me.

So, it's gonna be
a tough prom season

for a girl that looks
like Freddie Mercury.

I don't know how
she's gonna do it.

Thank you for laughing
at my child's pain.

That's very nice of you.

Anyway, we're gonna keep
open mic night going,

uh, with someone who's brand-new
to the comedy scene.

Someone that I've
trained personally.

But if she bombs,

I've never seen her
before in my life.

Happy Quinn,
ladies and gentlemen!

Did I fall on my head?
Am I having a seizure?

No, this is actually happening.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Matthew.

Matthew who?

"Math-you" could never do
unless you had an IQ of 184.

What?

Ammonia

and sodium hypochlorite
hook up at a bar.

Everyone inside dies.

It's funny

because it's true!

I've been reading
this great book

on antigravity.

I can't put it down.

I have this new theory

on inertia, but it's
not gaining any momentum.

She said...

Thank you.

Thank you!

That was factual.

No, that was awesome.

'Cause Chet isn't her boyfriend.

He's her comedy coach.

A terrible one at that.

You know,
all this time,

Happy and I were
doing the same thing.

We were each subconsciously
replacing the risk

our relationship represented.

I got into a ring,
where I had no business being.

And Happy,
the world's unfunniest person,

tried to make strangers laugh.

We were replacing what we lost
when we lost each other.

That excitement of risk.

This means
that deep inside of her

there is a seedling of regret.

So you're gonna
keep going after her?

No.

I'm gonna let
that seedling grow on its own.

If it's meant to become
a mighty love oak, it will.

I feel a lot better

than I did
when I walked in here.

You know what?
Me, too.

Because Happy is hilarious.

I mean, where did
that come from?

Hey, I, uh, I think I
walked in on a moment

between you and Paige
in the garage, and, uh,

sorry about that.

It was just a conversation.

I've been in a conversation, and
that looked more like a moment.

In physics, the term "moment"
is a combination

of the physical quantity

and distance.

The truth is...

I don't anticipate
that much distance

between me and Paige
moving forward.

A friend told me
distance

wasn't a good idea,
and I agree.

Hey, guys!

Stick around
for the second show?

We've seen enough
train wrecks in one day.

Now, that's funny.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man