Original subtitles

THE GREAT MATCH

Every four years the majority of mankind follows

one of the biggest events on our planet.

For most of us access is easy.

For others it is not...

ALTAI MOUNTAINS, MONGOLIA

A fox, by Argalis Pass, near the stream.

Look.

You're looking at it, Turkan.

Down there. See? Kosan. The eagle, release him.

What are you waiting for? Release him!

Lt'll get away!

Kosan.

Hey, Kosan. Go on, release him!

Did you see it? Good kill, huh?

He never misses.

Yes, but it was my eagle that caught it.

We all saw it, it was mine that coiled round its neck.

Turkan! Your eagle? Your eagle is scared of rabbits.

Remember last winter,

he almost died trying to catch a marmot.

Aldanish is right,

if your eagle had got there first,

it'd be dead, not the fox.

Kosan!

Do you think at this rate we'll make the game?

TENERE DESERT, NIGER

What a storm. My eyes are killing me.

They mentioned it on the radio yesterday.

No, they said it was tomorrow.

I hope you burn yourself, you bastard.

Shit, I burnt myself.

Did you hear that? Always the same thing.

Cut it out, lbrahim.

Mohamed's right. You're always on his back.

You'll end up in a fistfight.

I'll cut it out,

but if we get to the tree late, don't come crying to me.

It's not the first time.

One day he'll forget his own ears.

That's not true, I don't always...

Oh, no?

Who forgot the chair and Hassan's umbrella last time?

It wasn't me. Hamidu forgot it.

For God's sake! Me?

Yeah, Hamidu, it was you.

For God's sake!

That's enough.

What the devil does the chair matter now?

We have to find the solution now.

All right, but I didn't forget.

Yes, you did. You did!

What a bore!

AMAZON JUNGLE, BRAZIL

Cafu recovers on the left,

but goes back to his own territory

with the centers, ball in the middle

received by Mauro Silva.

He dribbles. Brazil makes no headway.

Ronaldo comes to receive in the hole.

Cafu advances. This is new, gentlemen.

Brazil has caught the Italian defense unawares.

Cafu looks for Ronaldo again,

the Brazilian star dribbles,

races away, shoots for goal and...

The ball is out!

A man can't hunt with you gabbing away.

You'd even scare the turtles.

It's not my fault.

That shirt is scaring the monkeys.

How can Ronaldo's shirt frighten monkeys?

Bahiano's shirt might do it...

he's a divvy with the ball... but Ronaldo's?

- Ronaldo's shirt scares them. - Scares the monkeys?

The things I have to listen to.

You've got no idea about football or hunting.

Besides, mine's a Nike original,

not a knock-off you can get anywhere.

You're jealous. You wish it was yours.

Yeah, right, and signed by Ronaldo himself.

Shut up! They're saying something on the TV.

It's about the game.

I'm going up to see if I can find out.

The final's tomorrow, at 8:00 in the morning.

And Ronaldinho's playing up front with Ronaldo.

How was your day, Grandma?

Fine, as usual, my boy.

Another day witnessing existence in bewilderment.

That's a good one, Gran. You're a work of art.

Kumar Khan, add that to the list of Gran's sayings.

Witnessing how, Gran?

In bewilderment, Kumar Khan, bewildered.

Another day witnessing existence in bewilderment.

Sure, you understand what Gran says,

that I doubt.

That's good, one of your best this month.

So what does it mean?

Leave her alone. She must be tired.

You must be too, so go to sleep.

Good night.

Good night.

Kumar Khan, remember tomorrow's the final and we have to be on time.

Right you are.

- Why are we stopping? - Shut up!

God is great!

Stop!

- Peace be upon you. - And upon you.

- Do you have a problem? - May God dwell in your heart.

And in yours.

May the angels stand firm at your back.

May they stand firm, stand firm.

May the Prophets guide you to Paradise.

May they guide me, may they guide me...

- How's the trip, brother? - Fine. I'm in a hurry.

- We're in a hurry, too. - You couldn't tell.

Yes, we're off to the tree to see the game.

So are we, but we're headed for Agadez.

Agadez?

However hard you push it, with all this crap

you won't even make the second half.

And if I stop here,

we'll be watching the repeat tonight.

We brought a television.

- A television? - I swear.

You're carrying a television on the camels?

Mohamed, the TV!

Show them the TV!

Look, and it's in color!

Damn, they do have a TV.

Do you believe me now?

The tree will be the antenna,

but we had some trouble and we won't make it.

Can we get on your truck

and instead of in Agadez, we can watch it by the tree?

Are you sure this gadget works?

I swear. God wouldn't let me lie.

Agadez is six hours away,

and the tree's nearby.

I don't know what they'll say in back.

I'll go ask them.

Listen, everybody...

These Tuareg brothers have invited us

to see the greatest sporting event in history.

- Do you want to watch it? - Absolutely not.

My whole family will be wanting their supper.

Here we go! Go ahead and walk then.

If we keep heading for Agadez, we'll miss the game.

Besides, a storm's coming.

I don't care a fig for your game.

I didn't pay for a football match.

You said we'd be in time for the match.

Otherwise I'd have taken another bus.

I have to feed my son.

- And I have to see the game! - Bugger it!

You'll do as I say, so everyone shut up!

No more arguing!

All of you, on the truck, fast!

Stop, you pack of idiots!

Where do you think you're going?

What about the camels?

Do they stay here alone?

Let Mohamed stay. He forgot the battery.

If you don't take me, I'll smash it!

I swear on my wife's grave, I'll do it!

God will help us find a more just solution.

Three bucks says the skinny guy in orange loses.

What about you?

- The fat guy. - Then put your money down.

Quick! Everyone on the truck!

You scoundrels! I'll get my revenge!

I hope you crash into the dunes!

May the devil haunt you the rest of your days!

Scum! Morons! I swear I'll kill you!

And what about you?

Nothing to say, eh?

I'll slit your throats, you morons.

What, another turtle?

When are you going to bring back a monkey?

We've had no meat for a month.

Where's the rest of the cable?

What have you done with the cable?

It was for the satellite.

How do we watch the game now?

I'll hang the lot of you with this!

Are you painting a 7, like Ronaldinho?

Ronaldinho's not 7, he's 8. Rivaldo is 7.

Are you sure?

Yes, but I'm giving you 9, like Ronaldo, not 7.

But I want a 7.

Don't worry,

I'll give you a 7.

See? Number 7. Look how easy that was.

This is what comes of not letting them watch the soaps.

No, they did it by accident.

You idiot! By accident?

You fall in a river or step on a snake by accident,

but not cut a cable and stick it on your head.

What now?

We need another cable.

We could watch it at the sawmill,

from up a tree, like we usually do.

No way. Do you want to get shot at again?

Every time we go there it means trouble.

What about the mission?

Lmpossible. The new priest is American

and they don't like football.

The only way is to get another cable.

So we'd better find one now.

Get moving.

My name is Kosan.

If you paid attention you'd know that,

though it's better to introduce yourself

than wait till someone else does.

We came to this valley two weeks ago.

We're nomads and never stay long in one place.

On the Altai the pastures are poor,

so we have to keep moving.

Now, with summer coming,

we go to the highlands for fresh grass.

This is my family. They think I'm retarded.

They thought I was deaf and dumb

but they took me to Ulan Bator

and found out I had a genetic disorder...

Jacobsen's Syndrome.

I don't think it's that. I just don't talk,

but my father likes the Jacobsen story.

This fellow is my father.

He spent five years in a Russian coalmine.

That's where he got the habit of buying useless stuff,

like this collection of international key rings,

or these rubber ducks nobody's allowed to touch,

or the canoe without oars

that we don't know what to do with,

or this Chinese TV that changed our lives.

Kumar Khan is my older brother.

He was in Russia with my dad.

He's my father's shadow.

He does the same things and even repeats his sentences.

My granddad.

He'll be 80 soon, but every day he goes hunting with his eagle.

He spends more time with it than with Grandma.

My cousin Turkan is a normal guy

and though they laugh at his eagle, it's the best hunter.

This is my uncle.

He's single. His wife left him for a Russian.

He says it's the best thing that ever happened to him.

My mother,

my nephew,

my grandma...

Those are our neighbors. They follow us around

because Granddad knows the best grazing land for cattle.

Hurry up, we'll be late!

No, I didn't find anything.

I still think...

Come with me.

Look, before you get married you have to check out

not only your wife but her family.

A man doesn't just marry a woman,

but the in-laws, the mother, her sisters...

They make your life hell.

If you need a rifle to keep the chicken coop in line, do it.

It'll save you a lot of grief.

The monkeys. They're looking for food.

No, monkeys don't eat at this hour.

It's those Indians again.

They're always stealing from us.

I've got it, let's go.

When I started at the sawmill they went on about the Indians.

- Are they really dangerous? - Dangerous? No.

They were, when we first made contact.

Later, when we came to live here

and built the house and sawmill, they were no longer dangerous.

We gave them a TV and generator so they'd leave us alone,

but every time something breaks, they pull this routine.

The boat's getting away!

What about the oars?

Hassan's not going to watch the game?

My uncle's not moving until it's all ready.

Why do you call that thing a "tree"?

Years ago there was a tree there,

but a truck slammed into it

and knocked it down.

The pole is there in remembrance.

Of the truck driver?

No, the tree.

It was the only one for miles around.

He must not have seen it.

Sure, he must've fallen asleep.

Where are you headed?

Up to the coast of Algeria or Morocco with my friends.

We'll see.

I'm going to France. I'm a football player.

I've got a letter from Olympic in Marseilles.

They want me for a tryout,

but they didn't send me a plane ticket.

It doesn't say that here.

It says they'll see you if you get there one day.

Then I'm going for a tryout.

Aren't you a bit fat?

Don't talk rubbish. I'm strong.

I've got a lot of football left in these legs.

I do have a belly,

but two or three days training and I'll be in shape.

- Well, good luck then. - Here's hoping.

We've got ourselves a party again.

I don't recognize them.

Let's go.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Good afternoon, General. Fancy some tea?

Fancy some tea?

No, we don't want tea. And if you hadn't noticed,

I'm not a general, but a lieutenant.

May I inquire as to what you're doing?

- Trying to plug in the TV. - Yeah, plug in the TV.

- You're committing an infraction. - What's that?

You can't plug a TV into the power lines.

- It's State property. - Our television?

No, not your television, any television.

Where do you want us to plug it in then?

The problem's not where you plug it in,

this is forbidden.

What is?

Bloody hell... Do you have a meter?

Do we have a meter?

What's a meter?

- No, we don't have a meter. - Then unplug this cable right now.

To use State electricity

you need a license and a meter.

The fine is 200 tugriks.

Write it down.

Don't lose it.

- But we haven't used it. - No, we haven't used it.

I can't check that out, so here's your fine.

You can pay now,

or at the Ministry of Energy in Ulan Bator,

though it's a bit far.

Move it.

This didn't happen under the Russians.

What did you want to see so badly?

What else? The Grand Final.

Yeah, the Grand Final.

Tonight Brazil versus Germany in the World Cup final!

Was that tonight?

Yes, sir, it's tonight.

We told you that 20 times yesterday.

Are you sure? Lets go back.

Well, my dear friend, since you all insist,

we will have some tea, but just one, all right?

You people, calm down.

So you want to watch the game?

Xico, what are you waiting for?

Plug it in!

And don't get a shock like last time.

Gero, why are you sitting there?

Get up the tree, and no grumbling!

Xico, crank it up!

You're dozing off. Crank it up.

Caito, what about you?

Turn it on. It's on Channel 4.

That's it, Gero. In circles, but gently.

That's great, like that. Don't lose the rhythm.

Keep that up. The picture's coming.

Why can't you see anything?

This piece of shit doesn't work.

So we can't see the game?

I swear, God wouldn't let me lie.

What an idiot I am!

How could I trust that camel in a turban?

What do we do now, in the middle of the desert?

Tell me, you idiot! What do we do?

I knew we wouldn't get to see it!

Let's go. We can still make it in daylight.

Nobody's moving till I say so.

Everyone back off!

The tubes have blown.

Why don't you take a walk and leave me be?

We're just trying to help.

Leave me alone!

Everyone's an expert. All of you shut up!

What about the antenna?

The antenna... Now it's someone else.

It'll be on satellite. This TV won't get it.

- Shut up and get an umbrella! - Are you crazy?

Atuwa, you go.

Sorry, we have a tiny problem.

We need his umbrella.

- The umbrella? - Yes.

They need the umbrella for a moment.

Hey, you! The pot and some fire, quick!

Give me that pot.

I almost melted my fingers!

If you don't come on,

I'll smash you against this tree.

Country life. Beautiful, isn't it?

So who do you support, Brazil or Germany?

Brazil, of course.

Brazil, Brazil.

No, I'm going for Germany.

At least someone has some sense.

The Germans had the greatest empire of the 20th century.

It was them and the Russians

that made us the power we are today.

It's almost obligatory to support Germany

in this difficult time in her history.

And the lad,

whom does he support?

No, Kosan doesn't understand football.

He's retarded, Petersen Syndrome.

Petersen? Jacobsen Syndrome. Get it right.

Who was this Jacobsen?

A forward in the Danish team?

See? Why bother talking?

I'm the excuse my dad and brother have

for watching TVall day.

The doctors said that

sound and image stimulation might help me,

so they bought a TV and these Russian headphones

to listen to music when I have batteries.

When I got back from Ulan Bator,

they changed nomadic routes so they could watch TV.

Now we follow the electric lines.

And they say I'm retarded.

We should've reacted fast.

I would've defended the Wall

with the Red Army, Bulgarian commandos, German cavalry...

Armies sow misery wherever they go.

There is no soldier without blood-stained hands and terror.

Do I write that down?

No, have some respect.

Let's have a game.

Germany against Brazil.

You guys against us.

All right then.

Granddad, are you ready?

Whenever you like.

Come on, Grandma...

Who was that?

You'll see what sort of man I am!

Take that!

Careful! You hit the boy on the head!

Gero, move up, toward that beehive!

No way!

You want to watch the match or not?

At half-time, you come down and Caito goes up.

Good, good...

That's it, that's it.

Gently, gently...

Come on, come on.

Almost there. A bit more...

What's with Hassan? Why doesn't he talk to anyone?

He decided not to years ago on returning from the capital.

He swore not to talk to anyone outside the family.

- But he understands. - Of course.

He worked 10 years as a driver for a German NGO.

And what's with the chair

and the airs he puts on?

Hassan is a Tuareg nobleman,

but he doesn't realize that

the times of noblemen are over.

Not long ago our caravans had thousands of camels.

We traded in salt.

Now it's more profitable to sell camels in Libya.

Everyone gets by however they can.

I sell this magazine by the page.

For every two pages I sell, I give one away.

It's a special offer this week only.

- Look at these girls! - This week only.

Settle down. No charge for a 30-second look,

that's promotion. After that, it's 15 cents a minute.

Can you sell me this half-page?

- This one? - Yeah.

Are you nuts?

Sabrina Lenin... I can't cut the centerfold in half.

- I want her. - Let me see...

I'll give you half of Sophia Claxon.

Not her. Her tits are too small.

- She's a stunner. - I want Sabrina Lenin.

- You like her, huh? - She's a honey.

Okay, but not the poster.

Half of the other one. Agreed?

- All right, all right. - Give me 10.

- Cut it well. - Relax.

- I've only got five. - Fine.

Put it away.

Let's see if they fixed it.

Two minutes left.

Penalty!

You're going to shoot.

Come here.

How could you miss? You're under arrest!

Come over here! You can see it!

What are you waiting for? It's about to start.

Everyone sit down. Sit down! Sit down!

I knew it. Only I could fix it!

Come on, come on. Almost there. A bit more.

Stay there! Don't move!

Who missed the penalty?

I did, sir.

Guard duty.

- I'm not going to see the game? - We'll talk at half-time.

You men sit down.

We can't see! That's not fair!

Tell them it's my TV.

My uncle says it's his TV.

Then there's no battery.

He has to get out of the way.

I think it's going to get nasty.

Very well, but just one meter.

He says he's only moving one meter.

Stop that.

Football makes them crazy.

Look at them.

No one is to support Brazil.

We're Germans here.

My uncle doesn't want anyone supporting Brazil.

We're behind Germany. Is that clear?

They can do what they want.

Hey, Abubacar.

For years I worked with a German doctor.

He was a Bayern Munich fan.

He gave me the television.

Ibrahim!

Didn't you say he didn't talk to anyone?

Football transforms him.

He passes to Ronaldinho.

No, to Bahiano.

I told you a thousand times, he's a klutz.

The opposition has it.

Kaka passes deep to Ronaldo.

Cafu is getting away.

He's after the head of the box.

No one blocks him. He shoots...

the ball hits an opponent and...

Ronaldo turns and...

the goalie saves it.

They're built like brick shithouses.

You see what they did?

They left me alone, no TV, in the desert.

You don't do that to someone sensitive like me.

And it's all your fault, you useless beasts.

They don't know me. I'll get my revenge.

On my wife's grave I will.

Those Germans are tough.

They're fighters, unstoppable,

gladiators!

Men chasing a ball in their underwear

and one with a whistle who never stops running.

This is for morons.

I don't write that one down either, eh?

Put the soaps on.

I'm making a killing here.

Cafu runs along the wing,

he dodges a German, kicks it midfield...

Ronaldinho receives, he looks up...

He hesitates.

Shit, Gero! What's wrong?

What's wrong? I'm not a monkey!

The ants are eating me alive!

And your commentary is rubbish.

Caito, get up there, and no grumbling!

Come down!

Caito, okay, we've got a signal again.

Don't move. It's looking good.

See? It looks great now.

What are you looking at?

Ref, that's a foul.

He's rubbish.

They're putting on pressure now.

If you say so.

They should close the wings.

What wings? You got no idea.

The bald guy stops it and runs.

He's a jaguar. He dribbles to the forward,

looks for the wing and passes to Rivaldo.

Rivaldo looks for an opening,

backheels the ball, Cafu gets it,

he passes, kicks deep to Ronaldinho.

He sidesteps, leaving the German baffled.

He lands it in the area...

Ronaldo faces the goalie,

he shoots and...

What did you do? Are you nuts?

He was going to score!

What's wrong now?

This can't be happening.

Don't tell me the battery's run out.

Blast!

Now what, Xama?

We should go to the mission.

We'll try to convince him. But leave it to me.

I know how to handle these types.

Leave me in the desert, fine!

With this crappy radio, okay!

But without batteries? No way!

Do you want something?

Father Brown let us come in here

and we've come to say hello.

- Our wives are very happy... - Happy about what?

Because we've come to see the game.

Game? What game?

The World Cup final between Brazil and Germany.

No, there's no more watching TV at the mission.

Besides, football is a game for idiots.

It's no good. Let's go to the sawmill.

Hello, my friend.

They said you sell photos of beautiful women.

- Yeah. They're naked. - I don't care. I want to see them.

They're gorgeous. I've got a blonde...

- Show me, show me. - You'll see.

I told you so. Americans don't like football.

They're very advanced.

Advanced?

Yes. Think about it.

What do we do with sticks when we get angry?

Hit each other on the head till we bust them open, right?

And what do Americans do?

They hit a ball. Isn't that progress?

Ah, shut up and row.

- Keep going. I don't like her. - You want this one.

- Yes, that one. - The poster is expensive.

- How much? - For you, 50.

- 50? Are you nuts? - Forget it.

Don't go. We can haggle.

No, that's the price.

Let's work this out.

I'll take you to Agadez up front.

- Okay. - Agreed?

Yeah, okay.

I saw on TV that

all truck drivers in America have posters of naked women.

I always wanted one for my cabin.

- See you. - Right. See you later.

Are the Germans superior or not?

Do you still doubt that we're going to win?

Sure I have my doubts.

You'll see when Brazil really starts playing.

- There's only one team on the field. - We'll see.

Leave me alone.

How can you miss that?

Take that! The first goal!

Who's this boy's father?

Any more nonsense and I'm turning it off.

That's your German superiority.

Sorry, General, but there is only one team.

The game's not over yet.

And I'm a lieutenant.

Don't you know we're supporting Germany?

But I like Ronaldo.

Shut up and sit down. I'm in a good mood.

Lieutenant! Lieutenant!

What do you want?

- Wasn't I to be relieved at half-time? - No, in overtime.

What's the score?

Germany's down by a goal, but don't worry,

they'll tie it soon and there'll be overtime.

- How do you know that? - I just do!

Now don't bother me!

Bastard. Son of a bitch.

- Excuse me. - Yes?

- Who's in white? - Germany.

- And the others? - Brazil.

We're supporting Germany.

The guy in the chair told us to.

If not, he'll turn it off. It's his TV.

- He'll turn it off? - Yes.

What a dick.

They need to put on the pressure.

- What the hell happened? - Just when Germany was dominating.

- That's what you say. - What a shitty TV.

I'll see what I can do.

Don't bother. The Russians have cut the electricity.

It's broken.

Turkan, check the cable.

Do it!

It's fine.

Yes, it's the Russians.

Every time our government forgets to pay the bill,

they cut our electricity.

There's still time.

Germany will bounce back.

They've done it all through history.

I'm sure of it.

Germany loses again. Remember Stalingrad.

Xama, in 2006 the World Cup will be in Germany.

I'm going if I have to rip up the whole jungle.

I wouldn't miss it.

- Am I going too? - You?

How will you do that?

- I'll come with you. - With me?

Then get yourself some white man's clothes.

They won't let you in like that.

- Sure. - You bastard.

I can't wait for this day to end.