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marching in the winter

marching in the fall

marching in the summer

but spring is best of all

'cause then it's march, march, march, april, may, june

june, june, june, july, august, september

sept, sept, september, october, november, december

january, february, march, march, march, april, may, june

june, june, june, july, august, september

sept, sept, september, october, november, december

january, february, march, march, march, april, may, june

june, june, june, july, august, september

sept, sept, september, october, november, december

january, february

marching in the winter

marching in the fall

marching in the summer

but home is the best of all

hey!

Well, well, well,

if it isn't the rover boys.

Aren't you guys ever going to grow up?

Is this any way to greet your american heroes?

Come on, tim, don't spoil our last day together.

Yeah, give us a pleasant smile.

We've been over there cutting the german lines,

protecting your right to cut your scotch.

We've been gone over two years.

Haven't you missed us, tim?

Sure, i missed you.

I got a little tab here exactly two years old.

Take care of it, banker.

$75.80. fork up or no liquor.

You're a sentimentalist at heart, tim.

Listen, this is a bar, not a barbershop.

What do you got there? Hey, silvio!

You guys act as if you own the joint.

Hey, silvio! Hey! Hi!

Silvio! Hey!

Hey, silvio!

What's he going to make?

3 ham sandwiches. Great cook.

Come on, tim, set 'em up. Put 'em on a tab.

No more tabs. Cash.

You're civilians now. You owe me a buck for this,

and i think you're overtipping.

Tim, what do you mean? We can't-

i just wanted you to know i didn't forget it

and you can't put anything over on me.

Keep the dough. You're going to need it.

Gee, tim-

tim, i'd like to leave you with a little remembrance

because we're all busting up and going home.

This is for you.

Take it, save it, frame it, put it up over the bar.

Someday it'll be worth millions.

What is it?

What is it? It's an original douglas hallerton.

Security for your old age.

I'm trying to attract patrons, not scare them away.

Tim, this saloon will be famous someday because this painting's here.

Yeah! Like places that say george washington slept here. Like that.

Yeah, like that.

Coming up!

That's a pretty picture.

Looks like a pizza pie.

Yeah, we call it the picture you eat with a spoon.

Stand back one second, silvio. Do you mind?

Just a little room.

Huh! Hoo! Huh!

Ted, got some mail for you.

I hope it's the one. It is!

A dame?

The future mrs. Riley!

Wife of one of the future lawmakers of the united states.

This no-goodnik?

No-goodnik? Head man in his school.

President of the pittsburgh

junior debating society. Phi beta kappa.

Student of english literature.

A born leader!

Both: Vote for riley!

"Dearest ted,

"i have missed you so terribly and worried about you constantly,

"so far away and in such danger all the time.

"You know there is no one in the world

"nearer and dearer to me than you, ted, dear.

"I know you'll have a brilliant career when you finish law school,

"but we haven't seen each other in several years, and people grow up and change.

"Ted, i hope it makes no difference in our friendship

"just because i happened to get married last month.

Joe is the most wonderful guy in the world."

Hey!

Oh, back again.

Come on, tim, give us a drink.

All right. All right. One more and that's it.

It's closing time. It's 4:00.

Closing time? Where's the clock?

Well, we got to help old tim close up.

Well, of course.

Come on.

Hey! Watch that!

Sorry.

The war's over. People don't love drunk civilians

like they love tipsy soldiers.

Hey!

We're civilians now!

Oh, the time has come for parting

and the marching music ends

no matter where our lives may lead us

in our hearts, we'll still be friends

though the time has come for parting

and the future lies unknown

although the years may come between us

we will never feel alone

for friends we are now

and friends we'll stay

until we meet again

one wonderful day

although the time has come for parting

we'll be friends until we die

tim: Stop, you guys. What are you kidding yourselves for?

A month from now, you won't even remember each other's names.

All: What?

Sure, you're great buddy-buddies now.

I've seen it before. It's like a girl you meet up in the catskills.

You never see her again when you get back to the city.

Hey, what are you talking about?

This is different. We've been together 4 years.

The war's over, kids.

In a month from now-

all right, tim. You give us one month, huh?

I say we're friends for life

and nothing can change it.

5 years, 10 years... look, tim, i'll make you a bet.

10 years from today, october 11, 1955, at 12:00 noon.

No matter where we are or what we're doing,

the 3 of us are going to walk right through that door and meet here.

Right, guys?

Both: Right. You're crazy.

You want to bet $1,000?

Please.

All right, then. A buck from each of us against one buck from you.

Enjoy. Enjoy.

Not to be opened till 1955.

In the safe.

I'll make a little memo here for ourselves.

October 11, 1955.

You said it.

Good luck, guys. I'll probably never see you again,

but good luck anyway.

You'll see us.

You got a date october 11, 1955.

12:00 noon.

Start chilling a bottle of champagne right now.

You sure you're going to be all right, ted?

Sure. Sure.

Well, so long.

Kid mariacchi.

Go ahead, kid.

Nashby, sports herald. You manage the kid?

Yeah. Hiya, rocky.

What do you say, sport?

Why don't you give him a little squib?

Why don't you have him over at stillman's about 4:00?

We'll shoot some glamour stuff.

Thanks very much.

You're new in the fight racket, huh?

Yeah. Didn't even know i was going to be in it until about 8 months ago.

I won the kid in a game of chance.

Huh? A crap game.

No credit to me. I figured i couldn't get anything with him

if i tried to hock him, so i tried to do something with him.

You sure did do something with him.

This kid's no punk.

8 knockouts in a row.

Number 9 tonight, huh, kid? Yeah.

Mr. Nashby, sports herald.

You look great, mariacchi.

Best of luck tonight. Thanks.

How you feeling, kid? I'm ok.

Look, get a couple hours of shuteye

and then meet me over at stillman's gym at 4:00.

The newspapers want some pictures.

I don't need no pictures.

Any pictures. And you do need pictures.

Give me something for a cab, will you? A fin?

A fin? I got exactly $2.00 and some loose change.

Here, take it all.

Hey, what's this? Confederate money?

Hey, give me that.

October 11, 1955.

Hey, that's today.

Today? That-

oh, doug and angie.

What am i talking about?

If i go over there, nobody will show up.

I'm the biggest sucker of all time.

Where do you have to go?

Tim's bar on third avenue.

It's a long way from here.

You're nuts. It's 10 minutes.

No.

It's 10 years.

What can i do for you?

Oh, could i just have a glass of water, please?

Say, uh, when did you get this?

Ex-g.i. Gave it to me a long time ago.

Funny thing. Lots of people ask me about it.

He went off to europe to paint or something.

Long distance. I'd like to place a call to chicago.

Long beach 1-0-8-8-0. Mrs. Douglas hallerton, please.

Tune in tonight at 11:00 for miss mop-up, miss mop-up, miss mop-up.

Don't forget, tonight miss mop-up presents

midnight with madeline, brought to you by klenzrite.

Channel 89 at 11:00. K-l-e-n-z-r-l-t-e spells klenzrite!

Hello? Hello, dorothy? This is doug.

I'm in new york. No, not on business,

something much more important.

Dorothy, what is this number where they reached you?

Oh, your lawyer's. Well, dorothy, look.

Do you have to go through with it?

I know, but if you love me, why a divorce?

We've been over this a thousand times.

What do you mean, i've changed?

What's changed about me?

Dorothy, i don't know what you're driving at.

Hi, tim!

Well, chum, what'll you have?

Don't you know me, tim?

I'm angie! Angelo valentine, united states infantry.

A lot of fellas come and go in here, buddy.

Yeah, i guess they do.

Have you seen two other fellas today?

I wouldn't be doing such a good business

if i hadn't seen two fellas all morning.

Sure.

Should've known. Number one sucker of all time.

Doug. You're ted. Hey!

You haven't changed much, doug,

except for that brush.

Get a load of that brush, will you, ted?

Ha ha ha!

Where'd you come in from, doug?

Chicago. How about you?

Schenectady. Same old place.

How about you, ted?

I've been here the whole time.

You have? I didn't know you'd been here all this time.

Yeah. Well...

yeah! Well.

We're us!

Hey, tim! Tim!

Tim, we made it!

Well, well, well, if it isn't the rover boys.

He didn't even know me when i first came in.

Tim, you said we'd never make it, and here we are.

You got no faith, that's what's the matter with you.

Come on, set 'em up.

Got to break open a fresh bottle for this.

I don't think i could handle a drink, ted.

What?

I'm not too fit digestion-wise.

Little bit of a nervous stomach.

Oh. Well, come to think of it,

i haven't had a drink at noon in a lot of years myself.

Maybe i could handle one.

I'll take a couple of these pills.

Ok by me. I'm game. Boy, this is great.

Well, to us.

To us.

Cut that out, will you? The sacroiliac.

Oh, i'm sorry.

If connie could only see me now-

drinking in the middle of the afternoon.

I got some pictures here of connie and the kids.

Very nice.

You kept pretty busy these 10 years.

Yeah. How about you guys? You married?

Yes, i'm married.

Pictures of the kids?

No. We don't have any children.

Well, i'll lend you a couple of mine!

And how about you, ted? You married?

No, thank you. Well, let's have another drink.

Yeah. Let's have another drink.

Boy, this is great. Great.

You know what? Let's drink to old bootsie.

Who? Who's old bootsie?

You know. Don't you remember? Bootsie.

That kid in our outfit who was always tripping over everything.

From the south. We always used to toast old bootsie.

Don't you remember? It was good luck,

and then we always used to laugh.

Why?

I don't know.

Sure. Come on, doug. Old bootsie.

No. I couldn't handle another one.

All right, angie. Bottoms up.

Bottoms up.

Here you are, tim.

No, here. Let me get this.

No. No, i'm the host here.

This is my hometown.

Hey, 50 bucks.

You're doing all right, ted,

but i always knew you would.

I'm doing swell.

I borrowed it from my barber this morning.

It's strictly temporary.

I'll be in the chips tomorrow.

I got to call connie and tell her about this.

She didn't believe you guys would show up.

She's a great girl, connie. Sometimes a little bit jealous.

Guess you know what that's like, huh, doug?

Oh, sure.

I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll have a few more drinks here,

and we'll go somewhere for lunch, huh?

Yeah.

Florio's.

Florio's. Veal parmigiana. Lasagne.

I couldn't handle that heavy food.

I have to be a little careful, restaurant-wise-

go where they know me.

Why don't i take you two chaps to the turquoise?

The turquoise? Whoo.

I'll handle it.

No. I can handle it.

No. I wouldn't think of it.

I'll just put it on the expense account.

I'll charge this whole day off as a business trip.

That's just swell.

Doug, you never did get back to europe to paint, did you?

No. Career-wise, it didn't seem practical,

but i've been creative in the advertising line

with little miss mop-up for klenzrite and jolio the gelatin man.

No. I don't miss la vie boheme one bit.

Little miss mop-up. You did that?

What do you know?

If you're ever up schenectady way,

you have to drop in at my place.

Real red meat at the cordon bleu.

At the what?

The cordon bleu. That's the name of my hamburger joint.

Ha ha ha! That's rich.

That is priceless.

What's so funny?

As far as names go, it seems to me little miss mop-up

and jolio the gelatin man

are pretty priceless themselves.

Oh, well, l-

come on. Jolio the gelatin man.

Your call to schenectady, sir.

Gee, thanks.

Hello? Connie? Hey, it's me.

I'm talking to you from a table at the turquoise.

What a swanky dump.

What do you know? They both showed up.

Oh, it's great. Like old times.

How are the kids? Good.

How did johnny do in the columbus day school pageant?

Oh? He forgot "oh, columbus, we salute you"?

Went over that line a thousand times with him.

Look, connie, i'll call you back later.

Tell you when i'm coming home.

Miss you, too. Yeah. Good-bye.

Ted, how about you?

Law school and the political arena?

The midtown arena is about the only arena i know.

Which reminds me- i have to get up

to stillman's gym later and look at my fighter.

Racketeers in the fight game, huh?

Glad i'm in a respectable business.

I shouldn't have come

i shouldn't have come

this thing's a mistake

an awful mistake

that guy's such a snob

and who is that hick?

Can these be the guys i once thought

i could never live without?

Doug: Who do you think will win the world series?

Both teams look pretty good to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

May the best team win.

This thing is a frost

i'd like to get lost

old pals are the bunk

this guy's a cheap punk

and that one's a heel

and i'm a schlemiel

can these be the guys i once thought

i could never live without?

This thing's a bad dream

why can't i just scream?

Aaaaah!

Oh, why did i fly

to new york from chi?

To drink scotch at noon

with a hick and a goon

can these be the guys i once thought

i could never live without?

This guy is a punk, a punk, a punk

this guy is a snob, a snob, a snob

this guy is a dope, a hick, a square

i shouldn't have come, i'm in despair

our dreams are dust and down the drain

this thing is a bust, and i'm insane

oh, why did i come? Why am i here?

A hick a square a snob

a punk a hick a square a slob

a ha ha ha ho ho ho ho

a hick, a square, a snob, a punk

why did i come? Why am i here?

Why?

Good afternoon, miss leighton.

This way, please.

Thank you, carl.

Thank you.

Scotch old-fashioned, please, carl.

That's what i like. An old-fashioned girl.

I'm an old-fashioned boy, myself.

Here we are, gentlemen.

Salisbury steak medium for you, sir.

Thank you.

Medium rare for you, mr. Hallerton.

Thank you.

And well done for you, sir.

Thank you.

Hey! You call this a hamburger? For 4 bucks?

Angie, shh, please.

Come on, ted, you taste it.

You know about horses. I tell you this hamburger ran in the kentucky derby.

Forget it, angie.

Listen. If i served stuff like this,

i'd be run out of schenectady on the third rail.

Will you shut up?

What did you say?

I said be quiet. This is very embarrassing.

Angie, don't act like a yokel.

We're in a very high-class place.

Didn't stop you from trying to make a quick pickup, i noticed.

I've picked up dames

in better places than this.

I doubt that.

I don't think either of you crumbs

could get in a place like this without me.

Who's a crumb?

You are. You cheap snob.

I'm sorry. Me, too.

So am i.

I guess we've had it.

Yeah. Guess so.

Waiter. Check, please.

Man: Hey, hallerton.

Well, well, well.

Oh, mr. Fielding.

I didn't know you were in town.

Just for the day.

How's the missis? Fine, thank you.

Is she with you? No, not this trip.

Oh, mr. Fielding,

these are two friends of mine.

Mr. Valentine, and this is mr. Riley.

How do you do, mr. Fielding?

We were in the war together.

We're having a little reunion.

Haven't seen each other in 10 years.

Must be a lot of fun getting together to talk about old times.

Mr. Fielding, excuse me.

Oh, miss leighton.

I've been calling you and couldn't reach you.

It's very important.

Miss leighton, i want you to meet hallerton of chicago.

He's one of our executive vice presidents out there.

He's responsible for the miss mop-up campaign.

Oh, you're the one.

Miss leighton is one of our best idea men.

I should say women.

You certainly should.

You know, she's the program coordinator

on our biggest klenzrite tv show-

midnight with madeline.

What do you know?

Doug, aren't you going to introduce us?

Oh, certainly.

Miss leighton, this is mr. Valentine and mr. Riley.

Ted riley.

I suggest we skip lunch

and get right over to madeline's rehearsal.

You know how she is.

Sweetie, i can't.

I'm waiting here for stamper and trasker.

And donner and blitzen.

I'm afraid we really better go.

All right.

Doug, why don't you come along and have a look-see?

We're rehearsing over at the fontainebleau.

I'd like that very much.

Well, so long, fellas.

Bring your friends along.

No!

I mean, we're just about through here lunch-wise,

and i'm sure they're very busy appointment-wise.

Not at all, doug. We'd love to come along.

I've got about an hour to kill before i have to be at stillman's gym.

You see, i own a plug-ugly who's going to be engaged fisticuffs-wise tonight,

and i have to stop by and put the lead weights in his gloves

and wise him up wise-wise.

Sure. Sure. Come along.

You, too, mr. -

i'd sure like to meet madeline in the flesh-

maybe get her autograph to take home.

Yes, you could hang it on the wall of your hot dog stand.

Hamburgers.

Hamburgers, of course. How crude of you, douglas. Shall we go?

Man: Say, fielding?

Oh, stamper and trasker.

Yes. We're just on our way over to the fontainebleau,

and this is-

the fontainebleau, please.

7 of us couldn't fit in one cab.

Of all the-

now, don't get mad. I had a crazy notion

you and i should get better acquainted.

I see.

Besides, i think you're about

the prettiest program coordinator i've ever seen.

You know, a fella's not safe

alone in a cab with a girl these days.

All right.

Ok. Satisfied? I just couldn't face the boredom

of fighting you off for 10 blocks.

It's the simplest method, my own invention.

Remove the initiative from the brute male,

and he'll retire in confusion.

Now, while you retire in confusion, i'll do a little work.

What kind of a screwball are you?

To save you the strain of trying to understand me,

i'll give you the salient facts.

Graduate of barnard, summa cum laude, career girl.

I'm fairly pretty, which is a nuisance.

I attract a lot of men at first,

but i can always find a way of getting rid of them,

and then everybody's happy all around.

In short, i can always scare them off.

I don't scare easy.

No? No.

Did you ever hear of planck,

who discovered the quantum theory in 1895?

Without that and maxwell's field theory,

there never would have been a theory of relativity.

And did you ever hear of magadization,

the pre-medieval musical system

of voices singing or playing octaves apart?

And did you- time.

Did you ever hear of kid mariacchi?

Kid mariacchi? Yeah.

Middleweight. Fighting tonight.

5 foot 9, 165.

39, 42.

8 straight knockouts in a row.

Good chance of flattening helding tonight.

You're flattening me right now.

It's just a trick. It doesn't mean anything.

It has nothing to do with intelligence,

but men do find it an awful bore.

And i'll tell you something. I don't care.

Because as shakespeare said in the tempest, act 2, scene 7:

"Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly."

"Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly."

Well, in some ways, you and me

and shakespeare see eye to eye.

I got my diploma this afternoon.

You and your war buddies?

Yeah. You saw it.

We met at our old wartime hangout,

little place called tim's bar.

We expected to pick up where we left off 10 years ago.

What a laugh.

Never mind. It's on klenzrite.

See? You didn't bother me

in the least on the rest of the trip.

My own invention.

That invention's going to explode in your face someday, einstein.

Well, so long.

Aren't you going to say good-bye to your pals?

We said good-bye a long time ago.

But don't let that worry you. You'll see me again.

Just take the male initiative and pick me up at stillman's gym about 4:00.

I wouldn't bet on that.

You know, there's a lot of things you shouldn't bet on.

Like that shakespeare quote, for instance.

It ain't the tempest act 2, scene 7. it's as you like it act 2, scene 7.

"Hey-ho, sing hey-ho unto the green holly,

most friendship is feigning, most loving, mere folly."

Oh, i'm around stillman's all the time.

Man: Quiet. Quiet, please. Rehearsal.

Klenzrite presents...

midnight with madeline, starring...

madeline!

Music is better than words

you break the spell when you start to speak

that technique is all wrong

just forget about words and sing her a song

music was made for romance

love and a sweet song go hand in glove

every lover knows this

and the sweeter the song, the sweeter the kiss

when you're without love, you cry

and your song is the blues

but when you've got love, you're high

and your song is a gay refrain

a happy strain that sings out the news

don't let the night go to waste

looking for ways to say i love you

take your cue from the birds

music

music is better

music is better than words

applause, applause, applause.

And now, you dear ladies and gentlemen,

we come to the part of the program which is always my favorite

because it means something.

Because it means this big, cold canyon

we call new york really has a heart,

and if you listen very hard,

you can hear it throb.

The throb of manhattan.

Last week we brought you thomas w. Jackwood,

reunited right here with his wife and children after 30 years in jail.

Tonight again, our surprise guest

or guests are somewhere in this room.

Spotlight.

Could it be you?

Yes. Yes, it's you, mr. Kebbner.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is donald w. Kebbner of the bronx-

one of the last army of little gray men

struggling along from day to day gallantly making ends meet.

Everyone has a dream, ladies and gentlemen.

Such a one is mr. Kebbner-

a simple man with a dream of visiting the orient in its unparalleled splendor,

but all his life he has spent in his candy store on superior avenue,

where he has brought the orient to him

by constructing, for 16 years,

a complete table-sized model of the taj mahal

executed entirely in chewing-gum wrappers.

No. No. No. No! I will not have this on my show!

It's terrible!

Jackie, what are you trying to do, ruin me?

Madeline, it's the best we could do as a last-minute substitute.

We had something so wonderful-

a totally reformed drunkard who was going to tell us his inspiring story.

Yes, but he got drunk.

You geniuses will just have to put your heads together.

I won't do the show tonight. I just won't go on.

I want 40 million people to sit home and cry and love me.

Sam, get me a club sandwich, a double order of french fries,

and two cans of beer. Make it 3!

Madeline, please, your diet...

you know what happens to your figure when you start eating.

Who cares about my diet or my figure?

I'm unhappy, and i want to eat.

Here's a nice pimento cheese sandwich.

I don't want a pimento cheese sandwich.

Sweetie, it took you so long to take off those 20 pounds.

You mustn't give up the battle of the bulge.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Look who's talking, fatso.

You didn't get that corporation

on lettuce and tomato sandwiches.

Yeah, but, sweetie,

nobody pays to look at me in an evening gown.

Who cares? I'm not going on tonight!

Madeline, wait a minute.

This chewing-gum man has no sympathy!

Look, sweetie. You got to lay off those fat sandwiches.

Now calm down, everybody.

I think i've got the spot solved for tonight.

It's the foulest notion i've had yet,

but after all, it's for the glory of klenzrite.

The show must go on.

What is it?

It's human. It's up to the minute.

It's guaranteed to tear your guts out!

Yes?

It will take coordination-

everybody pitching in, even you.

Darling, what is it?

The 3 war buddies. They met today for the first time

in 10 years at their old hangout,

a little place called tim's bar.

You mean hallerton and what's his name and what's his name?

Right. And tonight, much to their surprise,

they will meet again at 11:00

and be interviewed by madeline on throb of manhattan.

Oh! It's beautiful! Beautiful!

Our boys and me and the whole nation watching and weeping.

That's very good. You think we ought to talk to hallerton about this?

No. This has to be a surprise show.

Something tells me these 3 old pals

wouldn't want to do this.

You just take care of hallerton

and get him to the theater by 11:00.

And, madeline, you take care of mr. Schenectady.

How am i going to take care of mr. -

don't let him out of your sight.

Take him anyplace he wants to go.

To dinner?

Yes. Eat your head off.

Now, let's see, that's hallerton and valentine,

and i guess i'll have to be

responsible for number 3.

Nashby: Get that.

Ok, that's enough.

Hey, what's eating you?

Huh? Oh. Nothing.

I was just thinking about the fight.

Ted.

Thanks, nashby. So long.

You mad at me about something?

What have i got to be mad at you about?

Man: Riley. Someone to see you.

Someone about 6 foot 4 with a broken nose and an i.o.u. In his hand?

No. About 5 foot 5, neat little nose, and "i love you" in her eyes.

Hey, lady. Come in.

Hello.

Well, well, well. Right on the dot.

Are you always this prompt?

Yes. I'm just a machine.

Good. I love to tinker with machinery.

I had a couple of hours off,

and i remembered your kind invitation.

I thought i'd drop in and see

all you colorful folk of the world of fisticuffs in action.

Sort of research, huh?

In a manner of speaking.

You're just in time for a nice hot cup

of rubbing alcohol and crumpets.

Miss leighton, this is, as if you didn't know, kid mariacchi.

How do you do? Hello.

Ok, kid, get dressed. You'll be great tonight.

And lefty louie.

Delighted.

Butch mcsween.

Charmed.

Boys, miss leighton.

Pleased to meet you. Hello.

Miss leighton is here to do some research.

She says she wants to see

the colorful folk of the world of fisticuffs in action.

I'm sure you'll oblige.

Mariacchi: Hey, ted.

Mr. Riley, i'll be delighted

to escort miss leighton until your return.

Louie, you're a gentleman and a scholar.

It's a pleasure. I'll be right back.

Fellow colleagues, do your stuff.

Yeah!

Look at me. I'm shadow boxing.

He's got a glass jaw.

This is headgear. It protects me.

Sucks wind in the third round.

Boxer: 1, 2, button my shoe, 3, 4, shut the door.

Louie: Good counter-puncher.

Well, charming little place you have here.

Charming little place? Lady, this is an institution.

It's been like a mother to us

and to our fathers before us.

These old walls are as steeped in tradition

as the ivy-covered walls of harvard.

Over on new york's eighth avenue

stands a building gray and grim

it's the home of broken noses

our alma mater, stillman's gym

though the plastered walls are peeling

and it looks a mess to some

we point with pride to that spot on the northwest side

mmm

where john l. Sullivan always parked his gum

stillman's. Stillman's. Rah, rah, rah!

Hit them in the breadbox. Uh. Uh.

Fight... for stillman's. Fight.

Sock them with a right hook. Ouch. Ouch.

Make him hear the birdies. Peep. Peep.

Fight... for stillman's. Fight.

Stillman's, dear old stillman's

home of famous fighting men

for you, dear old stillman's

i'd lay me down for the count of 10

rah, rah, rah

stillman's, dear old stillman's

we worship at your shrine

for you, dear old stillman's

i'd get me up at the count of 9

as we think of stillman's graduates

our eyes begin to mist

for the fighting game has its heavyweight hall of fame

with john l. Sullivan leading off the list

and after him came, uh...

james corbett.

Yeah. And then...

bob fitzsimmons, james jeffries, jack johnson

jess willard, jack dempsey, gene tunney, max schmeling

primo carnera, max baer, james braddock, joe louis

ezzard charles, joe walcott, and rocky marciano

yay! Yay!

Just a minute! In what round

did dempsey knock out firpo?

Round two.

Where? The polo grounds.

When? 1923.

In what round did louis knock out schmeling?

First round, 2 minutes, 4 seconds.

When?

1938.

In what round did jeffries

knock down fitzsimmons?

The 2nd, the 10th, and 11th.

Yay! Yay!

What a dame, what a dame

she belongs in the hall of fame

baby, you knock me out

you're the dame with the frame they whistle at

you're the dame with the brain in the picture hat

you're the doll with a wallop like a baseball bat

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

boing, i'm flat

baby, you knock me out

you're the missis with the kisses super-sweet

you're the top, people stop you when you're on the street

you're a wower with the power, i admit defeat

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

boing, i'm beat

star light, star bright, i see stars when you move in

one, two, left, right, you win

you got me hanging on the ropes

baby, you knock me out

you're the broad i'd applaud in a broadway show

you're the chick with a kick like a rodeo

honeybunch, you got the punch that lays me low

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

boing, k.o.

Baby, you knock me out

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, bong

how strong

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

bong, come on

you got me hanging on the ropes!

Boxers: Baby, you knock me out

you're the broad i'd applaud in a broadway show

you're the chick with a kick like a rodeo

honeybunch, you got the punch that lays me low

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, boing

k.o.!

Left, right, hear me shout

baby

you knock me out

thanks, fellas. Good-bye.

Bye! Bye! Bye!

I see you made quite a hit with the fellas.

Thanks. If i'm staying with you for dinner,

i have some calls to make-my office, for instance.

Dinner?

Don't you want me to?

Look, i hate to curb your male initiative,

but a guy likes to ask once in a while.

Well, then ask me.

Miss leighton, would you do me the honor-

yes. Come on.

Look, it'll have to be a quick dinner.

I got the fight tonight, you know.

Oh. I'll go with you to the fight.

Hello, roy. Is madeline-good.

And fielding? Fine.

Now, what about the costumes for the singing girls?

Have we any cute military outfits around?

Oh. Well, listen.

Right after the rehearsal, i'll meet the girls at the grove costume company.

What do you say, sport?

Hiya, rocky.

Hi.

Hi.

You're pretty smart, sport.

I mean, you're cagey, you know what i mean?

No. What do you mean?

I mean, you're so cagey, you won't even discuss it with me,

what's in on it.

In on what?

On it.

Oh, on, uh...

the fix.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fix.

Sure. You don't have to worry about nothing, ted.

Charlie culloran set it up great.

Charlie culloran's pretty good at that sort of thing.

Oh, yeah. We been rehearsing.

We got it down perfect.

You and, uh...

me and marl-

me and mariacchi.

Look, rocky, don't you think

you ought to run over it once again just to make sure?

No. I got it down pat.

Uh, in the fourth round, me and the kid, we come out,

and we dance around a little bit. You know.

And all of a sudden, i throw a beautiful left hook.

Catches the kid right on the button.

He does a neat half gainer into the canvas

and swims the length of the ring. Huh?

Sounds prettier than the russian ballet.

Well, it'll bring us maybe not fame, but fortune.

Listen, rocky, play it cagey, will you?

I mean, don't go around shooting your mouth off

to somebody who might not be in on the fix.

That would be, shall we say, silly?

What-what do you take me for?

I'm... sheesh.

Uh, i'll see you at charlie culloran's after the fix-

i mean, the fight.

Sorry. I need the phone.

I'll call you back.

Come on. Come on.

Well, really!

Get me a load of dimes. Who do you think-

hurry up!

Well, that's that.

You've been on that phone for years.

I'm sorry, baby. Last-minute changes, urgent business,

but now we'll concentrate on you.

We'll go to some nice quiet place-

listen, there's something i have to do.

I must go to the grove costume company

and see about some changes for tonight's show.

Do you mind coming along?

What have i got to lose?

Oh, what a day.

The end of old friendship's beautiful dream,

and now a frame-up. Taxi!

What?

They're trying to pull a fast one on me,

but i outsmarted them.

Who?

I just found out

that sweet kid you met inside- mariacchl-

is taking a dive tonight.

What? Yeah. The fight's fixed.

A big fat combine behind it.

Oh, that's awful.

Taxi!

Is that what you were phoning about?

Did you tip off the boxing commission?

Did i tip off-

you think i want to get my head bashed in

in a dark alley some night?

Oh, no. I played dumb.

Took a lot of doing, but i managed to get all my bets

switched to rocky helding.

I should make a pile of dough out of it.

Hey, taxi!

Oh.

Situation-wise and saturation-wise,

i think this fiscal year is going to top them all.

What do you think, hallerton?

What wise?

I said situation-wise.

Excuse me. I thought you said saturation-wise.

I did. I said situation-wise and saturation-wise.

Definitely. Mr. Fielding, i've got to get home.

I want to see dorothy. I'm just beginning to see-

nonsense. You can't leave now.

You've got to stay and see that program tonight,

and celia's expecting you for dinner.

Trasker, where were we?

Trasker: Sales-resistance-wise and competition-wise,

we have nosed out every other brand from coast to coast.

That's consumer-wise and housewife-wise.

Fielding: But soft-spot-wise and danger-wise,

we've got to keep our eyes on november, december, january, and february.

All: I think this fiscal year is going to top them all.

And sales-resistance-wise and competition-wise,

we've nosed out every other brand from coast to coast.

But situation-wise and saturation-wise,

i think this fiscal year is going to top them all.

And sales-resistance-wise and competition-wise...

we've got to keep our eye on...

we've got to keep our eye on...

keep our eye on...

november, december, january, february,

january, february, january, february...

march, march, march, april, may, june

june, june, june...

oh, excuse me. I have a little bit of a headache.

Pardon me. I'll just step outside for a minute.

I'll be here.

Ok, madeline, that's all.

Girls, over to grove's costume.

Oh, schenectady! Meet you in the lobby

as soon as i change.

Don't forget, you're taking me to dinner.

I'll be there. Well, bye, girls.

Thanks a lot for showing me everything...

and everything.

You're welcome.

Can't wait to see the show tonight

and watch donald kebbner's face

when he finds he's a surprise guest.

Boy, they really keep it secret, don't they?

That's the whole fun.

Hey, look at that.

I always dreamed of having things like that

in my restaurant in schenectady.

Do you own a place like this?

Well, it's not exactly like this.

It's only, uh... it's more modern.

Oh. Bye.

Bye.

Man: Oh, there you are.

It's late. Come on, girls. Line up.

Jackie: I know, max. I'm terribly sorry. Sorry, girls.

Oh, max, the hats are all wrong.

It's supposed to be america, not mauritania.

We'll have to do something about them.

Let me see. Get me those little overseas caps,

number 9764-j in your catalog. Come on, girls.

Ok, girls, follow me.

I'll be right back, ted.

When the time has come for parting

and the marching music ends

no matter where our lives may lead us

we'll be friends until we die

once upon a time, i had two friends

once upon a time

i thought that friendship never ends

once i had a dream

what a joke

all: Gone is that dream

up in smoke

all: Once i had a dream

what a joke

gone is that dream

up in smoke

gone is that dream

up

in

smoke

ted.

Ted, shall we go?

Look, lady, you're excused.

You don't have to hang around with me all evening.

I wish i didn't have to hang around with myself.

Jackie: But, ted, we were going to have dinner and go to the fights.

Don't you remember?

I don't get you.

First it was strictly no dice,

for which i can hardly blame you, and now-

i don't figure a broad like you.

I don't get you. You talk like a mug, or you try to,

but obviously- well, that shakespeare quote.

Oh, no. I used to have quite a fund of useless information.

Just ask angie and doug.

I don't have to ask angie and doug.

You know something? Those two used to think

i was greater than babe ruth, justice holmes,

and dick tracy rolled into one.

What did they think you were going to turn out to be?

Oh, nothing much, just a great man.

I have a sneaking feeling i've let them down

just a wee bit.

If they knew about my, shall we say,

helpful attitude toward this fix,

the boys would be real proud of me.

Don't you think so?

Don't look for any sermons from me.

I've been involved in some fixes myself.

I suppose everybody's in some racket or other.

Say, what is this tough-woman-of-the-world pose of yours?

What's your problem? Some man done you wrong?

Oh, really.

No. You'd never let anyone get near enough.

You think you know all the answers.

You take the initiative. You-

actually, you're just plain inhibited. That's your problem.

Look.

Don't give me any two-bit snap psychoanalysis.

Anyone can do it.

10 years ago, fresh out of the army,

you were going to amount to something,

but you had a disappointment.

I don't know if it was a small blond one or a tall dark one,

but ever since then, you've been taking it out on the world

and yourself.

That'll be 25 cents, please.

That was no snap analysis, lady. That was my life.

I'm sorry.

Nah, that's all right.

You were terrific, doc.

You hit it square on the hose.

Speaking of snap analysis,

i owe you 25 cents.

Hmm?

You hit it square on the nose about me, doc.

Sorry. Got to lock up.

Oh. We were just going.

Here. Go get yourself analyzed.

The chicago concert season sounds just divine.

Mrs. Hallerton and i

have subscription tickets to everything,

but she always has to go with her cousin minnie

because old fatso over there keeps me working too long.

Who? Ha ha ha!

How is dear mrs. Hallerton?

How should i know? I'm married to her.

Does she still have those awful headaches?

Yeah, and she's tried everything-

pills, analysis, astrology, witchcraft.

Nothing helps. It's very simple- she's dying.

I'm boring her to death.

Ha ha ha!

She has a certain look when she's with me.

It's a combination of boredom, disgust, and pity.

I saw that same look on ted and angie's faces today.

You know who's looking at me right now

with that same look?

Not me?

No, not you, 4 eyes. Me.

Hey, garcon! Hey!

Boy, i wouldn't have any more of those if i were you, doug.

And i sneaked 5 on the side. That makes 8.

Hey, you!

Fielding: You've got to stay in shape tonight, my boy.

You're coming to madeline's program, you know.

Do i have to witness that maudlin, disgusting junk-

see some poor, helpless surprised guest make an idiot of themself?

Well... ha ha ha!

There must be some more dignified way to sell klenzrite-

like you taking a bath stark-naked in macy's window.

Well, why don't you fire me?

I wouldn't dream of it, my boy.

I just want you to stay in shape tonight, that's all.

Where do you get off owning paintings like these-

picasso, braque, rouault, renoir?

What do you know about painting anyway, you old goof?

Your art appreciation ended with mutt and jeff.

Ha ha ha!

Do you have any idea what it takes to be a great artist

or even an inferior one?

The dedication, the sacrifice, the time?

Come on, meathead. Fire me.

Speaking of meatheads, that reminds me.

Dinner-

just a second. Just a second.

Doug. Doug!

This is a surprise for ted and angie.

Ha ha ha!

It's a surprise for ted and angie.

Voila! No mustache.

Huh? Ted and angie would know me now.

Doug, i'm glad you're down. We're a little late, dinner-wise.

Dinner-wise. Gee, i wish i'd have said that-wise.

Whoop. Drink-wise. Drink-wise, drink-

sorry-wise.

Apologize.

Sorry-wise, apologize.

Sorry-wise, apologize.

Sorry-wise, apologize

sorry-wise and apologize-wise

apologize-wise and sorry-wise

apologize-wise and apologize-wise

situation-wise, saturation-wise, competition-wise

sales-resistance-wise, television-wise, and meathead-wise

and fatso-wise and wise-and-wise

ba ba ba ba ba bap

situation-wise, saturation-wise

saturation-wise and situation-wise

drink-wise, pill-wise

audio-wise and video-wise and video-wise and audio-wise

audio-video-wise and video-audio-wise

i dream of jeanie with the light brown hair

situation-wise

saturation-wise

situation-wise, saturation-wise, and sl-

be my love, for no one else can end this yearning

for you, i'll make the sweetest music

time for the party-wise!

Do do do do ha!

Do do, ooh ooh, hee hoo

hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm

doodle oo, doodle oo, doodle oo

sound retreat!

Damsel in distress! Charge!

Follow me! Over the moat!

Dinner-wise, i'm with you, jerry-lewis-wise.

Stand back. My old trick.

Nothing up my sleeves. No mustache.

Max.

Think he'll win?

Sure. Hi.

Hi.

Well, if it isn't ted riley.

Well, if it isn't charlie culloran. What a nice surprise.

What are you doing here, charlie?

Just came over to say hello to you

and wish the kid good luck.

That's swell of you, charlie.

He looks great. Thanks.

Frankly, when i lost him to you,

i thought he was just nothing.

You've done wonders with him.

Thanks again.

I'll see you around.

A few things i want to talk to you about soon.

Sure thing, charlie.

I want you to come up to the house.

I'll have my wife cook us a nice chicken dumpling dinner

with all the trimmings.

And bring the young lady.

Sure thing, charlie.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Who is that?

That's little miss fix-it and his crowd of debutantes.

Oh.

Ted: Hiya, kid.

Where were you? You're late, ted.

I get it.

Good luck tonight. Thanks.

Ok, georgie, i'll finish here.

Wait outside. Thanks.

Get a good rest?

Sure. I feel swell.

I'm glad, because i got everything i own

riding on you tonight, kid, but i know

i'm a cinch to clean up on you.

Yeah.

You seem a little nervous.

Who, me? Uh-uh.

You got nothing to be nervous about.

It's a big night.

Yeah. It was a big day today, too.

Remember that date i had to keep at 12:00?

Yeah.

That wasn't with a girl.

It turned out to be a date with myself.

Huh?

First time i met up with myself

in about 10 years.

You sound nuts.

But i'm glad i got you, kid.

You're my one accomplishment.

Yeah, you're right. The boys are real proud of you.

Huh? What did you say?

I said the boys are real proud of you.

The boys.

Look, kid, remember what i told you

about keeping your hands down? Come here.

See, you got them down like this, all relaxed.

George: Come on, kid! They're waiting for you!

Ok, go ahead. He'll be right up.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

You go on, georgie. I'll bring him right up.

Taxi.

530 east 48th street.

Ted, you idiot, what did you do?

Those men are going to kill you.

Between the two of us,

we can handle anybody.

But, ted, aren't you in terrible danger?

Yeah. Yeah, i'm in terrible danger.

I'm in danger of believing

that look on your face.

You know, 10 years ago,

i told myself i'd never let this happen again.

And then-

oh!

That's nothing, darling. It's only the car.

No, it isn't. Remember?

It's my own invention...

exploding in my face.

How's he coming, swenson?

Fine, mr. Fielding.

I'll have him shipshape in half an hour.

Good. We have to leave for the telecast at 10:30.

I'll give him deep massage,

and he'll be good as new.

Oh. Somebody stole my mustache.

Fielding, i want that mustache returned, every hair in place.

Ha ha ha!

Miss leighton, what on earth are you up to?

Hmm?

You've been living here two years.

You know our simple, steadfast rules-

no men beyond this line.

Couldn't you make an exception in my case?

I'm a traveling salesman.

I'm sorry. And besides, miss leighton,

what are you doing here at this hour?

You're usually at your broadcast by this time.

Oh, the broadcast! Ted, will you please wait here for me?

I have to change. I'll be down in 10 minutes.

And listen, there's something about the program i've got to tell you.

I'll tell you on the way over, and you can make up your mind.

About what?

It's ridiculous, and i'm sick of it,

and i'll explain it on the way over. I'll hurry.

I'll be here.

Have you a side entrance here?

Yes. There.

Tell miss leighton i had to leave.

I'll meet her at the broadcast. Thank you. Good-bye.

Why am i feeling so good?

Why am i feeling so strong?

Why am i feeling, when things could look black

that nothing could possibly go wrong?

This has been a most unusual day

love has made me see things in a different way

can it be

i like myself?

She likes me, so i like myself

if someone wonderful as she is

can think i'm wonderful

i must be quite a guy

feeling so unlike myself

always used to dislike myself

but now my love has got me riding high

she likes me, so

so do i

she likes me, so

so do i

ladies and gentlemen,

in just 3 minutes, midnight with madeline will start.

Now, don't forget, we have a battery of television cameras

cleverly concealed, so be careful what you say to your neighbor

or how affectionate you are with your partner of the evening

because remember, you may be on tv.

What am i doing here?

Doug, if you stand over here at the bar,

you'll be able to see everything.

All right.

Host: If you look up to the right of the monitor...

right this way, mr. Valentine.

Host: Each time you see the applause sign...

yes, sir, what is it?

I want to see miss leighton. Tell her it's ted riley.

Oh, mr. Riley, i'm trasker.

The show's just going on.

Please step over here.

She'll see you right afterwards.

Oh, thank you.

Host: Yes, yes, yes, it's 11:00,

and the makers of klenzrite, dozerite, isrite, and wasrite,

also manufacturers of h2o cola,

that effervescent cola that's pure as water,

as nonfattening as water, but, oh, boy, that cola taste that zooms you up to the skies,

presents midnight with madeline, starring...

me. May i come in?

Remember

that klenzrite is the only washing soap

for you

remember

that klenzrite is the soap

that washes things so new

please remember

the many things that only klenzrite can do

remember

to call your grocer to send you

klenzrite

and now you dear ladies and gentlemen,

guess what i'm going to do.

I'm going to sing you a song.

It's my latest recording, and i do hope you just love it.

But even if you don't, i don't really mind,

as long as you love me.

I'm watching and waiting

hello, sam. Hello, joe.

I'm waiting and watching

hello, max. Hello, bob.

Hello, jasper.

I hope and i yearn

hello, bill. Hello, phil.

Just for his return

hello, fellas!

Thanks for the present of the silver-blue mink

thanks for the plane and the ice-skating rink

thanks for the yacht and for the solid-gold sink

thanks a lot, but no, thanks

thanks for the scrabble set with platinum board

thanks for the factory once known as ford

thank you for finding me the famous lost chord

thanks a lot, but no, thanks

for i am just a faithful lassie

waiting for her faithful lad

and there's no gift, however classy

by which this lassie can be had

thanks for the banks and for the santa fe line

thanks for the darling uranium mine

but i'm a gal with only one valentine

thanks a lot, but no, thanks

thanks for the champagne

and thanks for the state of maine

and thanks for the autographed picture of john wayne

thanks a lot, but no, thanks

thanks for the cruise

and thanks for the oil wells that ooze

and thanks for that pair of fred astaire shoes

thanks a lot, but no, thanks

for i am just a faithful lassie

waiting for her faithful lad

and there's no gift, however classy

by which this lassie can be had

thanks for losing your mind

and thanks for fort knox, sealed and signed

but i've got a guy who's clifton webb and marlon brando combined

thanks a lot, but no, no, thanks

now, ladies and gentlemen, our weekly featurette,

the throb of manhattan.

Dear ladies and gentlemen,

we come to the part of the program which is always my favorite

because it means something,

because it means this big, cold canyon we call new york

really has a heart.

Somewhere in this room is the surprise guest or guests for this evening.

Could it be you?

Yes, boys, you're on television!

Oh, the time has come for parting

and the marching music ends

no matter where our lives may lead us

in our hearts, we'll still be friends

for friends we are now, and friends we'll stay

until we meet again one wonderful day

let a million miles divide us

let the years go rolling by

although the time has come for parting

we'll be friends until we die

ladies and gentlemen,

10 years ago, these 3 g.i. Joes returning from the war

made a solemn pledge to meet again today.

They had their glorious reunion at noon,

proving true friendship never dies.

Yes, friends, this is ted riley,

angelo valentine, and douglas hallerton.

Boys, this reception is also being given to you

by millions of people sitting in their homes all over the country,

and i know that just like me,

they are all feeling a wee bit misty.

Bless you.

Oh, look. Little angelo is blushing.

Bless him. Isn't this wonderful?

Isn't this a great surprise?

It certainly is for me,

though i think i was about to be tipped off.

This is why you spent every minute of the day with me.

I should have smelled a rat.

Hey, connie, if you're watching, nothing happened!

Ha ha ha! Connie, ladies and gentlemen,

is little angie's wife, who is watching the show from schenectady.

And this is douglas hallerton, everyone,

who knew nothing about it,

even though he is one of our own executive vice presidents

from chicago.

Now, really, doug, isn't this a great moment for you,

being the surprise guest on one of your own shows?

Madeline, sincerely, i deserve every bit of it.

It's truly a fitting climax

to 10 years of self-degradation,

and if anyone interested is watching,

i know what she meant, change-wise, that is.

Uh, yes, yours is a true success story, doug.

But not all of us can reach the top, ladies and gentlemen.

Some of us sometimes need a helping hand.

Take mr. Valentine, for instance.

Now, mr. Valentine is a sweet, simple person,

one of the vast army of little gray men

who struggle along from day to day,

gallantly making ends meet.

Angie, we are going to give you, absolutely free,

a klenzrite washing machine plus a 5-year supply

of fishmayer's non-scuffle shoes

for your poor, dear little kiddies.

Bless you. Here is your klenzrite guarantee

and mr. Fishmayer's personal certificate.

Thanks a lot...

but no, thanks.

I'm not looking for any handouts,

and i'm not one of any vast army of little gray men.

I'm doing all right, and i can take care of my own family.

Thank you.

Isn't that wonderful, ladies and gentlemen?

And you, mr. Riley.

I understand that you are engaged

in the glamorous world of sports.

Tell us about yourself, won't you?

There's nothing to tell. I'm a bum.

Hmm?

A bum. You know, a small-time operator.

I'm mixed up with some of the shadiest characters in town.

As a matter of fact,

knowing the inspiring, uplifting work you do on this program,

i feel terrible about showing my face

in decent homes all over the country.

Boys, don't be like me. Live clean. Use klenzrite.

Uh, why, thank you.

And now tell us about your glorious reunion.

The three of you walked into tim's bar-

look, madeline, i'd like to help you out

and give you

all the phony sentiment and corn you want,

but i'm afraid i'll have to disappoint you.

When the three of us met today

in tim's bar for the big moment, it was horrible.

The years had-

the years had made us strangers.

We-we hated one another.

I know now why i hated them.

It's because i hated myself.

But i'm glad it happened

because i'd like the guys to know

that whatever they think of me,

i don't blame them,

and i'd give several arms and legs

to win their friendship and respect again.

I'll try and spend the next 10 years winning it back.

Good night, madeline. It's been swell.

Uh-

and now, ladies and gentlemen, the klenzrite cakewalkers.

Hello, riley.

Charlie culloran.

Hi, rocky.

Dirty crook.

Ted: I'm sorry you feel that way, rocky.

Charlie: We hate to interrupt your evening of nightclubbing-

nightclubbing? Why, this-

oh, yeah?

Yeah, but we'd like to have you come along with us.

To your house for that chicken dumpling dinner?

Ted, i'm afraid you won't be able to enjoy

a chicken dumpling dinner for 3 or 4 years.

Cover ted riley with number 3 camera.

Get that mike down closer and keep it there!

Maybe after 5 or 6 months,

you can take a little clear broth.

Oh, really?

I'm afraid so.

Well, why this attitude, charlie?

Of course you know, ted, there was no fight tonight.

When the kid regained consciousness,

he told us how you'd knocked him out.

When charlie culloran fixes a fix,

he wants it to stay fixed.

What was that, charlie?

I say when i fix them, i want them to stay fixed.

Oh, fixed? Oh. Thank you very much.

Yes. Well, i can understand that, charlie.

Pride in one's work and all.

Ted: I kind of felt that tonight, too.

I was a little annoyed at the kid for wanting to throw the fight

after all the hard work i had done with him,

so i thought the best thing to do was to incapacitate him

and prevent the fight from going on.

Of course, if it was just a matter of me being upset,

i'd forget about it, but there are several other gentlemen involved,

and they'd like to have a little chat with you.

Who could they be?

Barney gaber, larry treadman, zeb o'flair-

barney, larry, zeb? They're all in on the, uh, fix?

Yes, and i think it would be a little rude

to keep them waiting.

I have a couple of boys here to escort us out.

Say, charlie, have you ever been on tv?

What?

Have you ever been on tv?

You know, you got a beautiful full face,

but let's see your profile.

The profile is very important

for love scenes and so forth.

That's very, very nice.

Rocky, don't you think charlie would be good on tv?

To tell you the truth,

i never thought about it before,

but up on the screen, there's an actor there

who ain't no prettier than charlie.

If i didn't want to be deemed crazy,

i'd say it was charlie.

What are you talking about?

Yes, charlie, you're on television.

You've just given a nice, clear statement

before about 60 million people.

Why, you-

ted, you all right?

Doug: Angie, cover me!

Ready on the right. Ready on the left.

Ready in the firing line.

Charge! Charge!

Ted: Bombs away!

Hit the dirt!

Yay! Yay! Yay!

Fire one!

I'm coming, angie!

Hey, look.

Let's get out of here before they ask a lot of questions.

Ladies and gentlemen, your madeline has done it again.

You have witnessed not only the reunion of the 3 ex-g.i. S,

but also our additional surprise guest,

charles z. Culloran, notorious racketeer and gambler,

making a spontaneous and unrehearsed confession

which will doubtless send him up the river for 50 or 60 years!

All this on our weekly human-interest featurette, the throb of manhattan.

March, march, march, april, may, june

june, june, june, july and august, september

sept, sept, september, october-

what happened to the rover boys?

We've been on television.

Come on, tim. Set 'em up.

Sure got to hand it to you guys.

10 years, and the same old pals.

Nothing changed.

Ha ha ha!

Tim, we love you.

You got a sharp eye.

Hello, dorothy? It's me-doug.

I just wanted to tell-

what?

Oh, you saw the program?

Oh, you do?

Yeah, well, so do i.

Listen, darling, i don't know how you stood me up till now.

Yes, i am.

But now i've got a chance to show you-

listen, dot, i know we can make it.

Yeah. L- well, i...

i can't say any more right now.

Just-

i love you.

Bye.

To dorothy.

Dorothy.

And one for connie and the kids.

And the cordon bleu.

No. No more cordon bleu.

From now on, it's just going to be

plain "angie and connie's roadside diner."

Well...

hey, i remember old bootsie.

The kid from the south

that was always tripping all over himself?

Sure. His name was george something-or-other.

Bootsie. Brown?

No, no. George barry.

Barry! That's it!

We were always toasting him.

It was good luck or something.

Why?

I don't know. I remember.

When we landed at anzio on the beachhead,

he fell over his big feet and fell flat on his face.

We followed him down. We thought it was orders.

The machine guns opened up to let us have it,

but we were down flat.

That's right. That idiot saved our lives.

Gee. Old bootsie.

Bootsie. Bootsie.

Hey, you remember

corporal zimmerman?

Corporal zimmerman!

All right, all right! One more, and that's all.

I got a license here, remember?

It's closing time. It's late.

We all got homes to go to.

Pay up, and let's go.

Let's see. That'll be 4 bucks even.

I got it. I got it.

Hey, hey!

Wait a minute. The safe!

The safe. The safe.

There it is.

4 even.

4 bucks.

Tim, that about wraps it up.

Jackie: Not quite.

There's a little unfinished business.

I think everything's going to be all right with you, too, ted.

What do you think, angie?

Vote for riley.

Tim: Though the time has come for parting

and the marching music ends

no matter where our lives may lead us

in our hearts, we'll still be friends

though the time has come for parting

and the future lies unknown

although the years may come between us

we will never feel alone

chorus: For friends we are now

and friends we'll stay

until we meet again

one wonderful day

let a million miles divide us

let the years go rolling by

although the time has come for parting

we'll be friends until we die

captioning made possible by turner entertainment group

captioned by the national captioning institute -www.ncicap.org-