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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,648 --> 00:00:04,644 This is such a fun way 2 00:00:04,646 --> 00:00:06,947 to celebrate you guys finishing the mini-mall. 3 00:00:06,949 --> 00:00:08,968 Hey, did Lisa say what our next project is? 4 00:00:08,993 --> 00:00:10,684 - Mm-mm. - I hope it's a water park. 5 00:00:10,686 --> 00:00:11,952 I love a lazy river. 6 00:00:11,954 --> 00:00:13,586 You don't have to get out to pee. 7 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,456 Yes, you do. 8 00:00:17,081 --> 00:00:19,059 Look, Lisa's gonna tell us about our next project 9 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:22,295 when she gets here, and she said it is big. 10 00:00:22,297 --> 00:00:24,464 I'm feeling so good, I splurged on lobster. 11 00:00:24,466 --> 00:00:26,066 Andi, we're lobster people. 12 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,600 You married good. 13 00:00:29,538 --> 00:00:31,108 Oh, that's Lisa. 14 00:00:33,813 --> 00:00:35,313 - Hey. - Hi. 15 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:38,021 Oh, look at all the people. 16 00:00:38,046 --> 00:00:39,679 That means small talk, 17 00:00:39,681 --> 00:00:42,849 which my therapist urged me to try, so... 18 00:00:42,851 --> 00:00:45,952 How about sports, huh? 19 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,022 You're so good at that. 20 00:00:49,024 --> 00:00:50,957 Uh, h-hey, come on in. Come on in. Have a seat. 21 00:00:50,959 --> 00:00:53,693 We were just talking about the next big project coming up. 22 00:00:53,695 --> 00:00:55,829 Oh, well, I have great news about that. 23 00:00:55,831 --> 00:00:59,199 The next project I will be working on is... 24 00:00:59,201 --> 00:01:00,767 myself! 25 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,535 I'm going on sabbatical. 26 00:01:02,537 --> 00:01:04,830 I hope that's the name of a water slide. 27 00:01:04,855 --> 00:01:08,353 It's a long-term break to get my life back in order. 28 00:01:08,477 --> 00:01:09,943 Long-term break? 29 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:12,145 Uh, so what are we gonna be building? 30 00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,513 Well, I don't know about you two, 31 00:01:13,515 --> 00:01:15,982 but I'll be building a new me. 32 00:01:15,984 --> 00:01:19,519 She might have to take that thing down to the studs. 33 00:01:19,908 --> 00:01:23,156 Uh, Lisa, you said there'd be more work after the mini-mall. 34 00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:24,390 We're depending on you. 35 00:01:24,415 --> 00:01:26,116 - We let all of our other clients go. - Yeah. 36 00:01:26,141 --> 00:01:27,494 You can't do this to me. 37 00:01:27,496 --> 00:01:29,229 If I'm home all day, my wife will make me 38 00:01:29,231 --> 00:01:30,730 take the kids to Mommy and Me. 39 00:01:30,732 --> 00:01:33,266 They don't even have a men's restroom there. 40 00:01:34,372 --> 00:01:36,083 Okay, fun party. 41 00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:38,442 Wish me luck on my journey. 42 00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:39,633 It's gonna be like that book, 43 00:01:39,658 --> 00:01:41,591 a whole "eat, pray, drink" thing. 44 00:01:42,391 --> 00:01:45,045 I-I think it's Eat, Pray, Love. 45 00:01:45,047 --> 00:01:46,646 Not when I do it. 46 00:01:50,430 --> 00:01:52,085 We just lost our jobs. 47 00:01:56,271 --> 00:01:57,912 I can't sleep. 48 00:02:00,595 --> 00:02:01,628 I can't sleep! 49 00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:03,830 - What? - Oh, I'm sorry. 50 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:06,533 Did I wake you? I-I can't sleep. 51 00:02:06,535 --> 00:02:10,036 But we did the thing that usually puts you right to sleep. 52 00:02:11,907 --> 00:02:15,113 Yeah, but I kept thinking about Lisa. 53 00:02:15,138 --> 00:02:16,876 Afterward. Afterward. 54 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,712 This whole situation with her, 55 00:02:19,714 --> 00:02:21,003 it's my fault. 56 00:02:21,028 --> 00:02:22,382 Well, how do you figure? 57 00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:24,084 She's the crazy one. 58 00:02:24,086 --> 00:02:25,852 Yeah, but I'm the one who put all our eggs 59 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,654 in her crazy basket. 60 00:02:27,751 --> 00:02:30,090 I convinced Don to give up our other work. 61 00:02:30,092 --> 00:02:31,954 Oh, Don's fine. Okay? 62 00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:34,761 And don't forget I'm bringing in money now, too. 63 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,029 - Hmm. - I mean, 64 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,797 not as much as if I were a man, 65 00:02:37,799 --> 00:02:40,733 but I'm just happy you guys let me vote. 66 00:02:43,451 --> 00:02:45,772 Are we doing women's rights, or are we gonna do my thing? 67 00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:49,442 Okay. Go ahead. 68 00:02:50,465 --> 00:02:53,012 There's 20 guys on the crew that are unemployed now, 69 00:02:53,014 --> 00:02:54,647 and they all have families. 70 00:02:54,649 --> 00:02:56,516 One of them has a secret second family. 71 00:02:56,518 --> 00:02:58,428 That's expensive. 72 00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,954 Yeah, but you were doing bathrooms 73 00:03:00,956 --> 00:03:02,655 and kitchens before Lisa. 74 00:03:02,657 --> 00:03:04,257 You can just go back to that. 75 00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:05,592 But that takes time. 76 00:03:05,594 --> 00:03:06,759 You know? Residential stuff 77 00:03:06,761 --> 00:03:08,461 is all word of mouth, 78 00:03:08,463 --> 00:03:09,996 and for the last year, we've been saying 79 00:03:09,998 --> 00:03:11,197 we're out of that business. 80 00:03:11,199 --> 00:03:13,466 I... I don't know, Andi. 81 00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:15,335 You know what, just go back to sleep. 82 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,939 ♪ Go ahead and get drunk as a skunk ♪ 83 00:03:19,941 --> 00:03:22,542 ♪ We'll get you out of jail! ♪ 84 00:03:22,544 --> 00:03:23,616 Call me! 85 00:03:23,641 --> 00:03:25,411 If I don't get you out of jail, 86 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:28,148 I'll do the time! 87 00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:30,183 That song's catchy. 88 00:03:31,153 --> 00:03:32,785 That guy is such a bozo, 89 00:03:32,787 --> 00:03:34,934 but his business is going great. 90 00:03:34,959 --> 00:03:36,856 I saw him at the car wash driving a Corvette 91 00:03:36,858 --> 00:03:38,291 with two hot blondes in it. 92 00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:41,561 And I felt sorry for him 93 00:03:41,563 --> 00:03:42,629 because he thinks 94 00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:44,697 - he's happy. - Yeah. 95 00:03:44,699 --> 00:03:45,865 You know, maybe he's doing so well 96 00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:47,066 because he has that commercial. 97 00:03:49,283 --> 00:03:50,637 You should make one. 98 00:03:50,639 --> 00:03:53,273 Me? Really? 99 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,440 You'd be great. 100 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,276 Yeah, you're very charismatic. 101 00:03:56,489 --> 00:03:58,397 Well, you may have a point there. 102 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,915 When I see myself on the security TV at 7-Eleven, 103 00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:05,385 I think, "That guy is stealing nothing but hearts." 104 00:04:06,832 --> 00:04:08,629 Yeah. So do a commercial. 105 00:04:08,654 --> 00:04:10,584 It could bring in a lot of business. 106 00:04:10,609 --> 00:04:12,142 Yeah. 107 00:04:12,827 --> 00:04:14,727 - Thanks, honey. - You're welcome. 108 00:04:15,134 --> 00:04:16,676 - Mmm. - Yeah. 109 00:04:19,668 --> 00:04:22,035 You know who wouldn't have come up with that idea? 110 00:04:22,255 --> 00:04:24,155 Two blondes in a Corvette. 111 00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:25,505 Yeah. 112 00:04:25,507 --> 00:04:27,407 - But they have other things they do. - Eh. 113 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:35,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 114 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,612 Okay, I looked into it. 115 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,257 Our last payment for the mini-mall 116 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,982 will cover the cost of the commercial, 117 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,517 including airtime. 118 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,285 I don't know how good I'll be on camera. 119 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,454 I've never taken a single picture with my eyes open. 120 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,360 My wedding album 121 00:04:51,385 --> 00:04:53,266 looks like Weekend at Bernie's. 122 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,268 Well, just follow my lead. 123 00:04:55,270 --> 00:04:56,903 You've seen me at 7-Eleven. 124 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,805 I light up the screen. 125 00:04:59,648 --> 00:05:01,475 I can shoot it. I've got a pro-grade camera 126 00:05:01,477 --> 00:05:02,609 and a green screen. 127 00:05:02,611 --> 00:05:03,910 Jen and I like to film ourselves 128 00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:07,214 doing role-play against exotic backgrounds. 129 00:05:07,216 --> 00:05:08,682 Weird guy's got a little spark 130 00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:10,370 to him, huh? 131 00:05:10,395 --> 00:05:12,095 No, it's nothing dirty. 132 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,453 Just soft erotica 133 00:05:13,455 --> 00:05:16,056 with the occasional lightsaber battle thrown in. 134 00:05:16,058 --> 00:05:18,125 Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. Okay? Yeah? 135 00:05:18,127 --> 00:05:20,127 - Uh-huh. Sure. - Enough? 136 00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:21,628 Okay. All right, let's think. 137 00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:23,830 All right, we'll have 15 seconds 138 00:05:23,832 --> 00:05:25,986 to sell people on Burns Brothers Construction. 139 00:05:26,011 --> 00:05:27,488 What's our message? 140 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:30,564 All right. 141 00:05:30,589 --> 00:05:32,606 We open on a puppy. 142 00:05:32,608 --> 00:05:34,574 Widen to reveal a girl in a bikini 143 00:05:34,576 --> 00:05:36,618 is holding the puppy. 144 00:05:36,643 --> 00:05:38,242 And then... whoosh... 145 00:05:38,267 --> 00:05:40,534 "Burns Brothers Construction." 146 00:05:42,418 --> 00:05:43,683 I don't hate it. 147 00:05:43,685 --> 00:05:45,585 I'd call after that. 148 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:49,487 That has nothing to do with our business. 149 00:05:49,512 --> 00:05:51,630 W-Why don't we just say... 150 00:05:52,232 --> 00:05:54,761 we do quality work at a fair price. 151 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:56,584 - I like that. - Hmm? 152 00:05:56,609 --> 00:05:58,316 And to show how low our prices are, 153 00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:00,273 we'll run away from cartoon dollar signs 154 00:06:00,298 --> 00:06:02,165 with the slogan... whoosh... 155 00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:04,438 "We hate money." 156 00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:06,111 Who says, "We hate money"? 157 00:06:06,136 --> 00:06:08,475 The puppy or the dame? 158 00:06:09,683 --> 00:06:10,704 I feel so bad 159 00:06:10,729 --> 00:06:13,033 for Adam. He was tossing and turning all night. 160 00:06:13,058 --> 00:06:15,055 Don slept like a baby. 161 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,750 When he gets stressed, his body shuts down 162 00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,510 like those goats that tip over. 163 00:06:19,744 --> 00:06:21,243 You know, I'm thinking 164 00:06:21,268 --> 00:06:23,266 about asking my boss for a raise. 165 00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:24,918 I mean, I'm the breadwinner now, 166 00:06:24,943 --> 00:06:27,115 so it'd be great if I could, 167 00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:29,359 you know, win a little more bread. 168 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,865 Do it. Demand a raise. 169 00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:35,235 Yeah, but I'm really bad at awkward conversations. 170 00:06:35,237 --> 00:06:36,570 I mean, I lose my nerve, 171 00:06:36,572 --> 00:06:39,072 and then I just start to laugh like an idiot. 172 00:06:39,074 --> 00:06:41,842 Isn't part of your job telling people their blood test results? 173 00:06:41,844 --> 00:06:44,244 Yeah. Yeah, I-I've giggled my way 174 00:06:44,246 --> 00:06:45,899 through some real tough calls. 175 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:47,948 Oh, there's my boss. 176 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:50,183 Oh, good. Now's the time. Do it now. 177 00:06:50,185 --> 00:06:51,367 Really? Now? 178 00:06:51,392 --> 00:06:52,998 Yeah. I got your back. 179 00:06:53,256 --> 00:06:55,455 Hey, Bob, come join us. 180 00:06:55,761 --> 00:06:57,127 She said that. 181 00:06:58,327 --> 00:07:00,594 Oh, boy. Okay. 182 00:07:00,596 --> 00:07:02,829 - Hey, Andi. - Hey, Bob. 183 00:07:02,831 --> 00:07:04,197 The boss. 184 00:07:04,565 --> 00:07:06,628 The "Boboss." 185 00:07:07,936 --> 00:07:09,916 Um, I was wondering 186 00:07:09,941 --> 00:07:11,304 if, uh, I could talk to you 187 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:15,069 about some bread-related issues I'm... 188 00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:20,447 You-you all right? 189 00:07:20,449 --> 00:07:21,581 Sure, I'm great. 190 00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:23,601 Yeah. 191 00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:26,953 No, she's just happy 'cause she is such a good worker. 192 00:07:26,955 --> 00:07:29,696 I'd sure hate to hear that she isn't being taken care of. 193 00:07:29,993 --> 00:07:31,291 I'm sorry, who are you? 194 00:07:31,293 --> 00:07:32,492 Well, you don't know me. 195 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,406 But, uh, my husband's on the board at the hospital. 196 00:07:34,431 --> 00:07:35,996 - Oh, he is? What's his name? - Mm-hmm. 197 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,864 Yeah, you're not gonna know his name. 198 00:07:37,866 --> 00:07:38,832 No. 199 00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:39,900 That's how high up he is. 200 00:07:39,902 --> 00:07:41,034 He's with, um... 201 00:07:41,036 --> 00:07:42,602 Mitch and Glenn's people. 202 00:07:42,908 --> 00:07:44,341 Who are Mitch and Glenn? 203 00:07:47,412 --> 00:07:49,075 I can't feel my feet. 204 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,714 There are my stars. Okay. 205 00:07:54,716 --> 00:07:56,505 Let's make some TV history. 206 00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:57,996 Remember to keep it clean, Lowell. 207 00:07:58,021 --> 00:08:00,522 This isn't one of your space pornos. 208 00:08:01,925 --> 00:08:03,490 Oh, Don's so nervous. 209 00:08:03,492 --> 00:08:06,192 I just hope he doesn't go full goat and fall over. 210 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,257 Don't worry. 211 00:08:08,282 --> 00:08:09,518 Adam will help him. 212 00:08:09,543 --> 00:08:11,298 And we're rolling. 213 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,635 Okay. Hey, don't worry. 214 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,627 - You got this, okay? - Yeah. Okay. 215 00:08:15,652 --> 00:08:17,823 You start us off, and I'll bring it home. 216 00:08:17,848 --> 00:08:19,191 - All right. Yeah. - All right? 217 00:08:19,216 --> 00:08:20,975 - We're good. - Right, we're ready. 218 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,200 And action. 219 00:08:24,646 --> 00:08:26,823 Hi. My name is Don Burns, 220 00:08:26,848 --> 00:08:28,955 and I own Burns Brothers Construction 221 00:08:28,980 --> 00:08:30,784 along with my brother, Adam. 222 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,882 Cut. 223 00:08:37,994 --> 00:08:39,526 Uh-oh. 224 00:08:39,551 --> 00:08:41,528 We're gonna need a puppy. 225 00:08:42,543 --> 00:08:44,105 Okay, let's try it again. 226 00:08:44,130 --> 00:08:45,165 Uh, Adam, 227 00:08:45,167 --> 00:08:47,183 maybe put your hands in your pockets this time 228 00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:50,604 and try not to look like you're falling out of a plane. 229 00:08:50,951 --> 00:08:52,727 Take 16. 230 00:08:52,752 --> 00:08:54,407 Only getting better. 231 00:08:54,494 --> 00:08:56,695 And action. 232 00:08:58,013 --> 00:09:00,113 Hi. My name is Don Burns, 233 00:09:00,115 --> 00:09:02,838 and I own Burns Brothers Construction 234 00:09:02,863 --> 00:09:04,705 along with my brother, Adam. 235 00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:06,052 Ha ha. 236 00:09:06,089 --> 00:09:08,888 You said it, Donald. 237 00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:12,151 Can we say "cut"? Because somebody should say it. 238 00:09:13,073 --> 00:09:13,760 Cut. 239 00:09:13,957 --> 00:09:15,578 Nailed it. 240 00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:21,729 Look at them, Don. 241 00:09:21,849 --> 00:09:23,657 They're starstruck. 242 00:09:25,821 --> 00:09:27,209 Poor Adam. 243 00:09:27,685 --> 00:09:29,254 What happened out there? 244 00:09:29,279 --> 00:09:31,192 Before we started, he was Tom Cruise. 245 00:09:31,217 --> 00:09:34,052 As soon as I said "action," he turned into Rain Man. 246 00:09:35,317 --> 00:09:36,783 I mean, was he that bad? 247 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,379 It felt bad, but I thought the camera would fix it. 248 00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:42,088 The camera adds weight, not talent. 249 00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:45,602 Look, we're gonna have to break it to Adam, 250 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,327 but I can't do it on my own. 251 00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:50,593 You saw how bad I am at awkward conversations. 252 00:09:50,618 --> 00:09:51,531 I mean, 253 00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:52,832 Don, you'll help, right? 254 00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:54,100 Absolutely. We're family. 255 00:09:54,102 --> 00:09:55,755 - We'll all do it together. - Okay. 256 00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:57,856 Hey, I found some champagne in the garage! 257 00:09:57,881 --> 00:09:59,180 Okay, here he comes. 258 00:09:59,327 --> 00:10:01,442 All right, stay calm, Andi. 259 00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,076 Oh. 260 00:10:03,453 --> 00:10:04,685 Don! 261 00:10:05,347 --> 00:10:06,604 You said you would help. 262 00:10:06,629 --> 00:10:08,581 That's called "acting." 263 00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:10,116 Hey, whoa, w-where's everybody going? 264 00:10:10,118 --> 00:10:11,818 - I got a thing. - I'm going to his thing. 265 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,620 - I married the thing. - I don't want to be here, 266 00:10:13,622 --> 00:10:15,622 and I don't care who knows it. 267 00:10:17,777 --> 00:10:19,859 Oh, well. More champagne for us. 268 00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:22,428 - Good. Drinking is a good idea. - Yeah. 269 00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:24,164 Uh, because, um, yeah, 270 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,732 I-I kind of need to tell you something. 271 00:10:25,734 --> 00:10:28,501 Yeah, well, go ahead. I love compliments. 272 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,807 Um, okay, uh... 273 00:10:34,462 --> 00:10:37,187 Well, about the commercial... 274 00:10:37,212 --> 00:10:39,445 I just... I just think that... 275 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,320 Oh. 276 00:10:47,819 --> 00:10:50,490 Uh-oh. You're doing your thing. 277 00:10:51,569 --> 00:10:54,027 Okay, you don't have to say it, 'cause I felt it, too. 278 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:55,195 Oh. 279 00:10:55,975 --> 00:10:57,397 Don kind of stinks. 280 00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:00,099 Oh, boy. 281 00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:01,534 But I think Lowell can fix that. 282 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,469 He'll just focus more on me. 283 00:11:04,225 --> 00:11:06,629 Okay. How do I explain this to you? 284 00:11:06,654 --> 00:11:08,041 Um... Oh. 285 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:11,291 Hey, remember how at all of our friends' weddings, 286 00:11:11,316 --> 00:11:13,533 I used to get up and sing "Wind Beneath My Wings" 287 00:11:13,558 --> 00:11:14,814 'cause I thought I was a good singer? 288 00:11:14,816 --> 00:11:16,749 And then, finally, you had to wrestle me 289 00:11:16,751 --> 00:11:19,018 into the ladies room at the Hilton and explain to me 290 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:22,488 that I was ruining people's most precious day? 291 00:11:22,912 --> 00:11:25,213 Yeah. Yeah. 292 00:11:27,207 --> 00:11:28,970 Still nothing? 293 00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:32,660 Okay. Well, honey... 294 00:11:32,685 --> 00:11:34,278 Uh, 295 00:11:34,303 --> 00:11:36,836 we are in the Hilton ladies room, 296 00:11:36,838 --> 00:11:40,306 and you're about to be crying by the tampon machine. 297 00:11:41,599 --> 00:11:43,496 This is nothing like that. 298 00:11:43,521 --> 00:11:46,512 Everyone knew you were a bad singer but you. 299 00:11:47,782 --> 00:11:50,650 Whereas in my case, uh... Oh. 300 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,423 I'm sorry. 301 00:11:55,761 --> 00:11:56,656 Huh. 302 00:11:59,055 --> 00:12:01,581 I kind of pictured this going in a different direction. 303 00:12:02,276 --> 00:12:03,863 I thought we'd do a bunch of commercials, 304 00:12:03,888 --> 00:12:07,790 and then Terry Bradshaw would see it and be my friend. 305 00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:11,437 Well, I'm still your friend. 306 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,524 You know, it's fine. 307 00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:14,969 - It's fine. - Oh. 308 00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:16,943 I-I'm sorry, honey. I-I know it's tough. 309 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,703 Oh, no, no. Hey, hey, 310 00:12:18,728 --> 00:12:20,213 it needed to be said. 311 00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:21,353 Right? 312 00:12:21,378 --> 00:12:23,927 I'm no actor. Big deal. 313 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:27,937 The important thing is that the commercial is good. 314 00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:30,723 - Yeah. - So I will give Lowell a call 315 00:12:30,725 --> 00:12:34,999 and tell him he needs to find a better... me. 316 00:12:35,814 --> 00:12:37,350 I think he knows. 317 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,156 I like our new Adam. You could really be brothers. 318 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,747 Yeah. It's nice that you're tall. 319 00:12:46,749 --> 00:12:48,309 We could high-five, and I don't have to crouch down. 320 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,882 Whoa-oh! 321 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,114 Uh-oh. Adam, you're here. 322 00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:55,736 Didn't you get the e-mail I sent you... 323 00:12:55,761 --> 00:12:58,378 Subject line: "Maybe stay in the house"? 324 00:12:58,456 --> 00:13:00,993 It's fine. This commercial is important to Burns Brothers, 325 00:13:01,018 --> 00:13:03,297 so I think I should meet the guy who's playing me. 326 00:13:03,322 --> 00:13:05,219 That's not gonna be uncomfortable for you? 327 00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:06,766 What? No. 328 00:13:06,791 --> 00:13:08,836 I rise above. That's what I do. 329 00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:12,517 That's the spirit. Hey, New Adam? 330 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,305 - Yeah. - I'd like you to meet someone. 331 00:13:14,330 --> 00:13:16,711 Oh, great. Is this who I give my lunch order to? 332 00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:21,914 No. No, this is Adam Burns, the person you're playing. 333 00:13:22,031 --> 00:13:25,120 It's okay, Lowell. Like I said, I rise above. 334 00:13:25,122 --> 00:13:27,222 Also, there's no budget for lunch. 335 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,757 I have a cherry ChapStick. 336 00:13:28,759 --> 00:13:30,759 You can nibble on that later. 337 00:13:32,624 --> 00:13:36,020 Uh, so, uh, New Adam, uh, what's your name? 338 00:13:36,045 --> 00:13:37,899 - I'm Leif Forrest. - I'm sorry? 339 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:40,502 Leif... Forrest. 340 00:13:48,217 --> 00:13:49,811 Okay, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go back over there, 341 00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:52,380 'cause it's easier to rise above back over there. 342 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,483 Bob, 343 00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:58,275 yesterday, I had to have a very awkward conversation 344 00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,354 - with my husband, and... - Yes. 345 00:13:59,356 --> 00:14:02,587 I realized that it's something I can do if I have to. 346 00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:03,892 So... 347 00:14:03,894 --> 00:14:05,721 can I have a raise? 348 00:14:06,129 --> 00:14:08,049 I'll let you in on a little secret. 349 00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:10,432 Our hospital's getting bought by SuperMed, 350 00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:13,168 and they said they have big plans for our lab. 351 00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:15,670 I have a call with them later to finalize the details, 352 00:14:15,672 --> 00:14:18,659 and when I do, you're gonna get that raise. 353 00:14:18,684 --> 00:14:20,339 - Really?! - Yes. 354 00:14:20,364 --> 00:14:22,544 Oh, thank you, Bob. 355 00:14:23,510 --> 00:14:25,378 I am so proud of myself. 356 00:14:25,518 --> 00:14:26,913 I didn't even snort on you. 357 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,417 Well, we're both happy about that. 358 00:14:30,754 --> 00:14:32,220 Damn it! 359 00:14:32,222 --> 00:14:33,188 Yeah. 360 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,057 All right, let's get started. 361 00:14:36,059 --> 00:14:40,286 Burns Brothers Commercial, Episode II: A New Hope. 362 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,897 Take one. Action. 363 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:44,886 Hi. My name is Don Burns, 364 00:14:44,911 --> 00:14:46,860 and I own Burns Brothers Construction, 365 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,418 along with my brother Adam. 366 00:14:48,443 --> 00:14:49,671 Here at Burns Brothers, 367 00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:52,307 we know you need quality work at low prices. 368 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:54,943 - Cut! - No. No, no. 369 00:14:54,945 --> 00:14:58,190 You don't say "cut." I say "cut." Cut. Now it's official. 370 00:14:58,696 --> 00:15:01,249 Leif, you're doing great so far, but I just wanted to point out, 371 00:15:01,251 --> 00:15:04,252 you're saying "quality work at low prices." 372 00:15:04,254 --> 00:15:08,503 - Yeah. - It's quali-TEE work at low PRI-ces. 373 00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:12,628 But nobody talks like that. 374 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,396 I'm just trying to help, you know? 375 00:15:14,398 --> 00:15:17,966 You've never actually built a mini-mall, but I have, so... 376 00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:21,469 Well, I went to six weeks of acting classes in a mini-mall, 377 00:15:21,471 --> 00:15:23,530 so, I know what I'm doing. 378 00:15:24,085 --> 00:15:25,173 Okay, okay. 379 00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,976 Adam... TV Adam... let's just give it another try. 380 00:15:30,884 --> 00:15:32,347 Are you sure this guy's better than me? 381 00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:35,016 Yes! Sorry. Yes. 382 00:15:36,938 --> 00:15:38,784 And action. 383 00:15:38,947 --> 00:15:40,655 Hi. My name is Don Burns, 384 00:15:40,657 --> 00:15:42,609 and I own Burns Brothers Construction, 385 00:15:42,634 --> 00:15:44,367 along with my brother Adam. 386 00:15:44,392 --> 00:15:46,561 - Here at Burns Brothers... - Cut! 387 00:15:48,165 --> 00:15:49,597 Why are you making that face? 388 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,099 I wasn't making a face. 389 00:15:52,124 --> 00:15:53,435 Oh, sorry, sorry. 390 00:15:53,437 --> 00:15:55,303 I... I thought you were making a stupid face. 391 00:15:55,305 --> 00:15:56,704 It's just regular, you guys. 392 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,473 It's just his regular face. 393 00:16:01,723 --> 00:16:04,159 And... action. 394 00:16:04,184 --> 00:16:05,749 Hi. I'm Don Burns, and... 395 00:16:05,774 --> 00:16:07,174 Cut. 396 00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:08,409 Adam, what are you doing? 397 00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:10,218 Just one second. I think I can help this guy. 398 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,953 Cut. Son of a biscuit! 399 00:16:11,955 --> 00:16:13,221 Okay. Uh... 400 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:16,024 You're playing me. Right? Okay? 401 00:16:16,049 --> 00:16:17,719 I am not this. 402 00:16:19,618 --> 00:16:21,663 All right? I am this. 403 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:25,007 Okay, that's it. 404 00:16:25,032 --> 00:16:26,801 I can't work with this guy. 405 00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:28,970 Uh-oh. Looks like we have 406 00:16:28,972 --> 00:16:31,190 a diva on our hands. 407 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,373 Let's get you a snack. 408 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:35,343 Do you eat snacks, or do you just do push-ups, or...? 409 00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:38,646 - What is with you? - What? 410 00:16:38,648 --> 00:16:40,348 Look, we need this commercial to be good, 411 00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:42,851 and Forrest Gump over there isn't bringing the magic. 412 00:16:43,652 --> 00:16:44,975 And that's it? 413 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,599 Well, yeah. What else would there be? 414 00:16:46,624 --> 00:16:48,524 Oh, come on, man. It's obvious. 415 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,191 You feel threatened 416 00:16:50,448 --> 00:16:52,927 because Leif and I are very tall. 417 00:16:54,651 --> 00:16:56,097 I am normal height. 418 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,366 This is what people look like. 419 00:16:58,368 --> 00:17:00,401 And if I feel threatened, it's because it's my fault 420 00:17:00,403 --> 00:17:02,103 our company's in trouble. 421 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:03,938 I feel like you're losing confidence in me, 422 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,086 and now you have literally replaced me. 423 00:17:07,297 --> 00:17:09,110 That was my second guess. 424 00:17:09,922 --> 00:17:13,640 Wow. I think I just unlocked something there. 425 00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:17,095 My neck feels so loose all of a sudden. 426 00:17:17,698 --> 00:17:21,174 Hey, what happened with Lisa isn't your fault. 427 00:17:21,342 --> 00:17:23,542 We both screwed that up. 428 00:17:25,395 --> 00:17:27,262 Well, thanks for saying that. 429 00:17:27,264 --> 00:17:29,564 Hey, and you were a little right. 430 00:17:29,566 --> 00:17:31,933 Leif is very tall, and I don't love it. 431 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,335 Look, 432 00:17:34,997 --> 00:17:38,473 if you don't like that guy, then I don't like that guy. 433 00:17:38,544 --> 00:17:41,339 Hey, Leif, you're out of here. 434 00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:43,236 Wait. What? Why? 435 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,847 Because I'd rather make the worst commercial ever 436 00:17:45,849 --> 00:17:47,715 with my brother than a great commercial 437 00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:50,351 with the most talented man I've ever met. 438 00:17:51,408 --> 00:17:53,650 Don, you're firing this guy 439 00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,557 when he didn't do a single thing wrong. 440 00:17:56,999 --> 00:17:58,694 You're a good brother. 441 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:02,964 This is the most unprofessional set I have ever been on. 442 00:18:02,966 --> 00:18:04,866 And I have been on three. 443 00:18:09,973 --> 00:18:12,270 Hey, welcome back. 444 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,275 Okay, gentlemen, 445 00:18:14,277 --> 00:18:16,044 let's make a terrible commercial. 446 00:18:16,069 --> 00:18:17,556 Come on. 447 00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,399 Hi. My name is Don Burns, 448 00:18:22,424 --> 00:18:25,727 and my brother Adam and I own Burns Brothers Construction. 449 00:18:25,752 --> 00:18:27,822 You want quality work at a low price. 450 00:18:27,824 --> 00:18:30,609 That's why we'll match or beat our competition, 451 00:18:30,634 --> 00:18:34,228 because here at Burns Brothers, not only do we love puppies... 452 00:18:36,232 --> 00:18:38,333 We hate money! 453 00:18:42,507 --> 00:18:43,905 I love it! 454 00:18:43,907 --> 00:18:46,287 Me not talking was a good idea. 455 00:18:46,312 --> 00:18:48,509 That puppy's got a hell of a career ahead of him. 456 00:18:48,511 --> 00:18:50,411 - Yeah. - We did it, brother, you and me. 457 00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:52,113 - Yeah. - Ah! 458 00:18:52,115 --> 00:18:54,003 "Good job, Lowell." "Good job, Lowell." 459 00:18:54,028 --> 00:18:56,168 "Oh, thank you. It's nice to hear." 460 00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:58,135 Great job, Lowell. Thank you. 461 00:18:59,656 --> 00:19:01,956 Hey, Andi, we finished our commercial. 462 00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,266 I think our troubles are finally... 463 00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:05,493 What's the matter? 464 00:19:05,495 --> 00:19:06,995 I just got laid off. 465 00:19:07,681 --> 00:19:08,997 - What?! - Yeah. The... 466 00:19:08,999 --> 00:19:10,392 The hospital got bought, 467 00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:13,117 and the new owners eliminated our whole department. 468 00:19:13,142 --> 00:19:16,537 When Bob had his call with them, they just fired all of us. 469 00:19:16,539 --> 00:19:19,586 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 470 00:19:20,344 --> 00:19:22,273 Whoa. 471 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,581 Wow. I guess now neither of us are working. 472 00:19:28,786 --> 00:19:31,529 Well, look at it this way. 473 00:19:31,554 --> 00:19:33,950 It's a good thing you guys hate money. 474 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,993 Okay, let's just try to think about the good stuff, huh? 475 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,285 I mean, we have a lot to be thankful for. 476 00:19:49,862 --> 00:19:51,238 Yeah, you're right. 477 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,274 We've got some money set aside, 478 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,875 and I've got no secret second family, 479 00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:57,211 so we're saving money right there. 480 00:19:57,659 --> 00:20:00,680 Yeah, I think we're gonna be all right. 481 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,078 Of course we will. 482 00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:05,171 Hey, I don't want you worrying. 483 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,124 You know what I just realized? 484 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,341 Hmm? 485 00:20:12,466 --> 00:20:15,654 I'm out of work, and you're out of work. 486 00:20:15,802 --> 00:20:19,500 So we're finally getting paid the same for the same job. 487 00:20:19,502 --> 00:20:21,335 There's your equal rights. 488 00:20:25,846 --> 00:20:28,376 ♪ Go ahead and get drunk as a skunk ♪ 489 00:20:28,378 --> 00:20:31,645 ♪ We'll get you out of jail! ♪ 490 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,115 - Damn, it is catchy. - Mm. 491 00:20:34,117 --> 00:20:36,050 We should have done a jingle. 492 00:20:36,137 --> 00:20:37,336 What? 493 00:20:38,727 --> 00:20:43,727 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 493 00:20:44,305 --> 00:20:50,272 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 34707

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