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1
00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,962
You're traveling
through another dimension-
2
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,716
a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind.
3
00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:17,967
A journey into a wondrous land
4
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:20,470
whose boundaries
are that of imagination.
5
00:00:20,505 --> 00:00:22,355
That's the signpost up ahead.
6
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:24,474
Your next stop,
the twilight zone.
7
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,479
"Sometime during the morning,
8
00:00:29,514 --> 00:00:33,233
"the rear door of the antique
shop was jimmied open.
9
00:00:33,268 --> 00:00:35,368
"The police surmised
that the thief,
10
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:37,871
"obviously working
with an accomplice,
11
00:00:37,906 --> 00:00:40,990
"entered and began to remove
items from the shelves.
12
00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:44,744
"Mr. And mrs. Jensen j. Brown,
the proprietors of the shop,
13
00:00:44,779 --> 00:00:47,247
"listed the following
collector's items
14
00:00:47,282 --> 00:00:48,498
"as among the goods stolen:
15
00:00:48,533 --> 00:00:50,383
Two vases
of the ming dynasty..."
16
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,252
i don't know what
dynasty they're from,
17
00:00:52,287 --> 00:00:53,503
but they ain't mings.
18
00:00:53,538 --> 00:00:55,388
There are from
some rummage sale.
19
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,257
They're worth about
a half a shuck apiece.
20
00:00:58,543 --> 00:00:59,759
Chester!
21
00:00:59,794 --> 00:01:01,644
Larceny! Plain, no-good larceny.
22
00:01:01,679 --> 00:01:02,896
He's padding that list
for his insurance.
23
00:01:02,931 --> 00:01:04,764
How do you like
a crook like that?
24
00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:06,649
"An antique silver
service for 12,
25
00:01:06,684 --> 00:01:09,769
a louis xiv candelabra,
a queen anne chest..."
26
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,906
aphony
louis xiv candelabra,
27
00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:16,025
a set of u.s. Navy
surplus tableware,
28
00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:19,662
a chest worth
maybe $3.50 tops.
29
00:01:19,697 --> 00:01:22,165
"Three oil paintings
by picasso..."
30
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,416
three posters
in frames.
31
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:24,534
The guy that painted these
32
00:01:24,569 --> 00:01:26,419
thinks a picasso
is a foreign sports car.
33
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,288
"Two teakwood, hand-carved
34
00:01:28,323 --> 00:01:30,173
cigarette
cases..."
35
00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:32,675
aw, knock it off.
Knock it off.
36
00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:37,680
Hey, they forgot this-
an antique camera, no less.
37
00:01:37,715 --> 00:01:38,798
Big deal.
38
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,301
Well, fits with
the rest of the haul.
39
00:01:41,336 --> 00:01:43,186
Everything else is for nothing.
40
00:01:43,221 --> 00:01:45,688
Figures we get a camera
that's for nothing.
41
00:01:45,723 --> 00:01:48,191
A hotel suite that,
in this instance,
42
00:01:48,226 --> 00:01:50,059
serves as a den of crime.
43
00:01:50,094 --> 00:01:52,562
The aftermath
of a rather minor event
44
00:01:52,597 --> 00:01:53,813
to be noted
in a police blotter,
45
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,316
an insurance claim,
perhaps a three-inch box
46
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,818
on page 12
of the evening paper.
47
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:04,457
Small addenda to be added to
a camera.
48
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:05,825
A most unimposing addition
49
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:08,328
to the flotsam and jetsam
that it came with.
50
00:02:08,363 --> 00:02:11,464
Hardly worth mentioning, really,
because cameras are cameras:
51
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,967
Some expensive, some purchasable
at five-and-dime stores.
52
00:02:14,584 --> 00:02:17,720
But this camera...
this one's unusual because,
53
00:02:17,755 --> 00:02:19,589
in just a moment,
we'll watch it inject itself
54
00:02:19,624 --> 00:02:22,091
into the destinies
of three people.
55
00:02:22,126 --> 00:02:25,228
It happens to be a fact
that the pictures that it takes
56
00:02:25,263 --> 00:02:28,982
can only be developed
in the twilight zone.
57
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,690
Big deal.
58
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:40,193
You know, 20 years ago,
you could get one of these
59
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:42,078
in a drugstore for 39 cents.
60
00:02:42,113 --> 00:02:43,947
I got to pick it up in a heist.
61
00:02:43,982 --> 00:02:45,832
Look at the crummy thing.
62
00:02:45,867 --> 00:02:48,334
No place to put
the film in.
63
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,203
No place
to even open it.
64
00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:53,339
Huh! Some crazy
foreign writing.
65
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,208
This must
be the clicker.
66
00:02:57,710 --> 00:03:00,213
Hey, baby, get over
there by the window.
67
00:03:01,464 --> 00:03:03,349
Come on, take a pose.
68
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:05,852
Aha...
69
00:03:05,887 --> 00:03:07,720
say cheese.
70
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:08,972
Cheese.
71
00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:13,109
Nothing.
72
00:03:13,144 --> 00:03:15,478
Aw, big deal.
73
00:03:15,513 --> 00:03:17,363
The whole haul
is worth maybe $5.80.
74
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:18,615
A good fence
will give us a buck.
75
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:20,483
You and your curio shops.
76
00:03:20,518 --> 00:03:21,734
Mycurio shops?
77
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:22,986
Who cased the place?
78
00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:24,871
Who fingered it?
79
00:03:24,906 --> 00:03:26,372
Who did all
the planning?
80
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:29,492
Listen to miss culture of 1960.
81
00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:33,129
Patron of the arts.
82
00:03:33,164 --> 00:03:34,998
"Never mind hock
shops," she says.
83
00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:36,883
"Let's get up
in life," she says.
84
00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:38,751
"Let's knock over
a curio shop
85
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,637
"on account of
curio shops are loaded
86
00:03:40,672 --> 00:03:43,139
with objets d'art
worth a fortune."
87
00:03:43,174 --> 00:03:44,390
Two weeks
of planning,
88
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,259
one whole night
on the heist,
89
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,510
and what have
we got for it?
90
00:03:47,545 --> 00:03:48,761
400 pounds of junk.
91
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:51,264
I could have shot pool
for a whole day and made more.
92
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:52,515
Look, baby,
the next time
93
00:03:52,550 --> 00:03:54,400
you get a hot idea
on a heist...
94
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,777
well, how
do i look?
95
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,668
Well, isn't that nice?
96
00:04:11,703 --> 00:04:13,286
And so clear, chet.
Can you imagine that?
97
00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:14,537
No flashbulbs or anything.
98
00:04:14,572 --> 00:04:16,422
And look how
clear it is.
99
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,674
What's the matter
with you?
100
00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:19,542
What's the matter
withme?
101
00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:21,427
Get over there by the mirror. What?
102
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,930
Go on. Go look
at yourself in the mirror.
103
00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:26,432
Are you missing
a couple of buttons?
104
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,684
You go ahead and look.
105
00:04:27,719 --> 00:04:29,552
So, what's to see?
106
00:04:29,587 --> 00:04:31,437
Now look at
the picture.
107
00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:34,557
So, there i am
standing by the window
108
00:04:34,592 --> 00:04:35,808
wearing a... fur coat?!
109
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,311
Chet, what am i doing
wearing a fur coat?
110
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:41,447
I wasn't wearing a fur coat
when you took that picture.
111
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,316
I don't even
own a fur coat.
112
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:46,452
I get it.
113
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,321
Camera's strictly
for laughs.
114
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:49,572
Strictly for laughs.
115
00:04:49,607 --> 00:04:50,823
It's a gag camera.
116
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,075
What do you mean?
117
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:53,326
Look, look.
118
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:56,462
They've already got the
pictures developed inside.
119
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,331
The negatives have
got pictures on them.
120
00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:01,467
All this does is take the faces. What?
121
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,969
You know, like in a carnival,
122
00:05:03,004 --> 00:05:06,723
when you stand back of
that crazy cardboard thing.
123
00:05:06,758 --> 00:05:09,842
You know, fat lady, guy driving
a car, sailor. You know.
124
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:11,728
Well, that's what this is.
125
00:05:11,763 --> 00:05:13,229
Hey, that's not bad.
126
00:05:13,264 --> 00:05:14,480
That's pretty clever.
127
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:17,600
We might as well clear up
the rest of this junk.
128
00:05:17,635 --> 00:05:19,485
Let's get at that chest.
129
00:05:21,104 --> 00:05:22,355
Key come with this?
130
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,240
No. You'll
have to open it
131
00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:26,109
in your own
inimitable style.
132
00:05:26,144 --> 00:05:27,360
Anybody ever tell you
133
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:28,611
you got
a nasty disposition?
134
00:05:28,646 --> 00:05:29,862
If i have
a nasty disposition,
135
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:32,365
it's because i'm married
to a nickel-and-dime heister
136
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,867
who can't tell a real
diamond from a baseball.
137
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,119
Look, baby doll,
138
00:05:36,154 --> 00:05:37,870
this suite
is 28 bucks a day
139
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,122
delivered and paid for
140
00:05:39,157 --> 00:05:41,007
by mrs. Diedrich's
son, chester,
141
00:05:41,042 --> 00:05:43,509
on profits collected
over a potful of years
142
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,012
when you weren't
even in the picture.
143
00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:47,880
Matter of fact,
i need you
144
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,766
like i need a three-
time conviction.
145
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,137
Hey!
146
00:05:54,172 --> 00:05:56,022
Oh, look.
147
00:05:59,142 --> 00:06:00,393
Oh!
148
00:06:01,644 --> 00:06:03,529
Well, how do
you like this?
149
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:04,781
And don't start
giving me
150
00:06:04,816 --> 00:06:06,649
any of that
cheap pizzazz
151
00:06:06,684 --> 00:06:09,152
about taking this
to any fence.
152
00:06:09,187 --> 00:06:11,654
This belongs to
little old paula.
153
00:06:11,689 --> 00:06:14,157
And don't try to
argue with me either.
154
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:17,543
Well, how do i look?
155
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,552
All right,
cue me.
156
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,420
What's the matter?
157
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,198
What are you doing?
158
00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:57,083
Come on back to bed.
159
00:06:57,118 --> 00:06:58,334
Still with that?
160
00:06:58,369 --> 00:07:00,203
Shut up.
161
00:07:00,238 --> 00:07:02,088
So what do you care?
162
00:07:02,123 --> 00:07:03,956
Want me to let
it go by, huh?
163
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,842
So what do you care?
So it's a crazy camera.
164
00:07:05,877 --> 00:07:08,961
So it takes dopey pictures
that really aren't there.
165
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:09,962
Yeah, it takes dopey pictures.
166
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,465
Dopey pictures like things
that haven't happened yet,
167
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,716
but they do happen.
168
00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:15,601
So what's
to do, chet?
169
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:18,104
One lousy,
kooky picture
170
00:07:18,139 --> 00:07:19,972
and you
get insomnia.
171
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,475
So it's a camera,
that's all.
172
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,360
Here, i'll
show you.
173
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:27,980
There. See?
174
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,232
Any lightning?
175
00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:31,117
Drop it,
why don't you?
176
00:07:31,152 --> 00:07:32,985
Let it go.
Forget it.
177
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,871
How can i forget it?
178
00:07:34,906 --> 00:07:38,624
This thing could come
from witches or... sorcerers.
179
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:42,378
It could be loaded
with black magic.
180
00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:44,881
And what are
you loaded with?
181
00:07:44,916 --> 00:07:46,132
Do you see
anything?
182
00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:48,634
Where's the man
with the horns
183
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:49,886
who comes in
184
00:07:49,921 --> 00:07:51,754
with a bargain
for the soul?
185
00:07:51,789 --> 00:07:53,639
It's a kooky camera,
that's all.
186
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:05,268
Well?
187
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:14,026
It's my brother woodward...
188
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,529
standing
by the door.
189
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:17,780
Yeah.
190
00:08:17,815 --> 00:08:19,665
That's who it is.
191
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,168
That cheap, no-good
brother of yours.
192
00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:23,419
It can't be.
193
00:08:23,454 --> 00:08:25,288
He's in jail.
194
00:08:25,323 --> 00:08:27,173
Seven years for
breaking and entering,
195
00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:29,041
and that was
only a year ago.
196
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,293
Oh, no. No, chet.
197
00:08:30,328 --> 00:08:31,544
It's throwing
us a curve.
198
00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:32,795
Maybe it's somebody
199
00:08:32,830 --> 00:08:34,680
who just looks
like woodward.
200
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,183
Nobody looks
like woodward.
201
00:08:37,218 --> 00:08:38,434
Look.
202
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,554
Chester, i'm scared.
203
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:42,805
I'm palpitating.
204
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,942
You and your phony
palpitations, you...
205
00:08:45,977 --> 00:08:48,444
a little palpitating
never hurt anybody.
206
00:08:48,479 --> 00:08:50,313
What's there to
be scared about?
207
00:08:50,348 --> 00:08:53,449
The thing has obviously
gone tilt or something.
208
00:08:53,484 --> 00:08:54,700
Look. Now, look.
209
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:55,952
Woodward isn't here.
210
00:08:55,987 --> 00:08:58,454
Woodward couldn't
possibly be here.
211
00:08:58,489 --> 00:09:00,323
Woodward's not
going to be here.
212
00:09:00,358 --> 00:09:01,574
He's serving time.
213
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:03,459
He's 900 miles away
in a cell block.
214
00:09:03,494 --> 00:09:06,579
I don't care what
that crazy camera says.
215
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,464
Whoever is
in this picture,
216
00:09:08,499 --> 00:09:10,333
it is not woodward.
217
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:18,591
Woodward.
218
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:19,842
Hi, paula. Hi, chet.
219
00:09:19,877 --> 00:09:22,345
I didn't want to wake you,
so i jimmied the door open.
220
00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:24,096
I broke out-
me and another guy-
221
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,348
in a laundry truck.
222
00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:27,099
That's nice, huh?
223
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:30,236
I didn't think you'd mind if
i stay with you for a few days.
224
00:09:30,271 --> 00:09:31,487
Well, you don't, do you?
225
00:09:31,522 --> 00:09:33,856
I was thinking,
if i was around,
226
00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:35,741
you two wouldn't
fight so much.
227
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,493
You still all the time fighting?
228
00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:41,864
What's this, chet?
229
00:09:41,899 --> 00:09:43,115
How do you like that?
230
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,001
There i am,
standing by this door,
231
00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:46,869
wearing the clothes
i got on.
232
00:09:46,904 --> 00:09:48,120
How about that?
233
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,623
I tell you,
science is wonderful.
234
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:53,125
To be able to take
a picture of a...
235
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,262
wait a minute.
236
00:09:56,297 --> 00:09:58,130
Wait a minute!
237
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:03,769
Like, uh... how come?
238
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:18,918
I still don't know
how we can use it.
239
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,803
Strictly for laughs.
240
00:10:20,838 --> 00:10:22,054
Imagine trying
to sell an item like that.
241
00:10:22,672 --> 00:10:23,306
They'd throw you out.
242
00:10:23,341 --> 00:10:24,557
They'd say
you're off your rocker.
243
00:10:24,592 --> 00:10:25,808
They'd burn you at the stake.
244
00:10:25,843 --> 00:10:27,059
One thing or the other.
245
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,929
Hey, maybe
we could sell tickets.
246
00:10:29,964 --> 00:10:32,431
Take pictures like at a carny,
247
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,066
and then...
248
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,068
well, maybe we could, uh...
249
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,937
well, you know, like that.
250
00:10:37,972 --> 00:10:41,440
Well, i'm going
to lay it on the line.
251
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,326
What are we?
252
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,828
I asked you a question.
What are we?
253
00:10:45,863 --> 00:10:48,948
What are we, chet?
We're people.
254
00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:51,083
Yeah, but what kind of people?
255
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,952
We're three small-time heisters.
256
00:10:52,987 --> 00:10:55,454
Well, now we've
finally got something
257
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,957
that might do something good
for somebody else.
258
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,459
Science could use
something like this.
259
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,711
Who?
260
00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:02,962
Science.
261
00:11:02,997 --> 00:11:04,847
We got something here
for humanity.
262
00:11:04,882 --> 00:11:06,716
Who?
263
00:11:06,751 --> 00:11:07,967
Humanity.
264
00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:10,353
You got a leak in your attic?
265
00:11:10,388 --> 00:11:12,855
What's humanity
ever done for us?
266
00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:14,106
Sure, paula, sure.
267
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,358
That's what i meant.
268
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,226
Just what you said.
269
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:19,111
That's the way we are.
270
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:20,363
Everything
for us.
271
00:11:20,398 --> 00:11:22,231
Nothing for
anybody else.
272
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:25,368
I've risen above all that now.
273
00:11:25,403 --> 00:11:28,487
I say, let's give this
to the world.
274
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,373
Here, world.
275
00:11:30,408 --> 00:11:32,875
A gift from chester diedrich
and his wife.
276
00:11:32,910 --> 00:11:35,378
And me, too, chet.
Don't forget woodward.
277
00:11:35,413 --> 00:11:36,996
Yeah. And you, too, woodward.
278
00:11:37,031 --> 00:11:39,498
Here, world.
279
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:43,252
A gift for humanity.
280
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:46,389
A gesture.
281
00:11:46,424 --> 00:11:48,891
A gesture to show
the size of the heart
282
00:11:48,926 --> 00:11:50,760
of chester diedrich
and wife.
283
00:11:50,795 --> 00:11:51,644
And
284
00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:52,645
woodward.
285
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,513
Yeah, that's better.
286
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,399
Isn't there something
you want to watch on tv?
287
00:11:56,434 --> 00:11:58,017
Oh, yeah.
288
00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:02,405
You know, paula,
this could be
289
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,657
a very important
scientific discovery.
290
00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:07,777
There's no telling what medical
science may do with this.
291
00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:09,028
How can you know...?
292
00:12:09,063 --> 00:12:11,530
A half-length, a full-length,
293
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:12,782
and hot foot takes it
by a length and a half.
294
00:12:12,817 --> 00:12:14,033
Jerry slash second by two,
295
00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:15,918
easter baby third.
296
00:12:15,953 --> 00:12:17,787
The rest of the field
is strung out.
297
00:12:17,822 --> 00:12:20,923
$24.90 to win, $15.80 and $6.70.
298
00:12:20,958 --> 00:12:24,043
In just a few minutes,
the second race of the day,
299
00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:25,294
the los tendres handicap.
300
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,179
Shut that thing off.
301
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,048
Huh? Oh, yeah.
302
00:12:29,083 --> 00:12:30,933
I got it.
303
00:12:30,968 --> 00:12:32,802
I've got it, i've got it.
304
00:12:32,837 --> 00:12:35,938
What is it,
chester?
305
00:12:35,973 --> 00:12:39,058
This thing takes pictures
of things that happen
306
00:12:39,093 --> 00:12:41,560
five minutes
before they happen,
307
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,445
but they happen!
308
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,947
I'll tell you
what we're going to do.
309
00:12:44,982 --> 00:12:47,450
We're going to take a picture
of the winning board
310
00:12:47,485 --> 00:12:49,952
at the racetrack...
before the race.
311
00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:53,706
The winning board
before the race, get it?
312
00:12:54,957 --> 00:12:56,208
No, i don't get it.
313
00:12:57,460 --> 00:13:00,329
Wait a minute.
314
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:02,832
We take a picture
of the winning board,
315
00:13:02,867 --> 00:13:04,717
and then we
look at it.
316
00:13:04,752 --> 00:13:05,968
Oh, chester!
317
00:13:07,837 --> 00:13:09,722
We getting through
to you, woodward?
318
00:13:09,757 --> 00:13:12,842
Look, we take a picture
of the winning board.
319
00:13:12,877 --> 00:13:14,093
There's nothing on it
320
00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:15,978
because the race
hasn't been run yet,
321
00:13:16,013 --> 00:13:18,481
but we got
a little camera here
322
00:13:18,516 --> 00:13:19,732
that takes pictures
323
00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:21,600
five minutes
before they happen.
324
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:25,354
So the picture has the
winning numbers on the board.
325
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,605
We know what horse won.
326
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,491
We know how much he paid.
327
00:13:28,526 --> 00:13:30,993
Now do you get it?
328
00:13:31,028 --> 00:13:32,862
Yeah!
Now i get it.
329
00:13:32,897 --> 00:13:34,747
Okay, everybody,
get your coats.
330
00:13:35,364 --> 00:13:37,249
Grab one of mine,
and be sure to put on a tie.
331
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:38,501
Okay, chet?
332
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:40,369
Let's see now.
333
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:42,254
That was
the first race...
334
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,506
we can still catch
the last six.
335
00:13:43,541 --> 00:13:44,757
Hey, wait a minute.
336
00:13:44,792 --> 00:13:46,008
How much money
have we got?
337
00:13:46,043 --> 00:13:47,877
I got a ten
and a 20.
338
00:13:47,912 --> 00:13:48,511
That's $30.
339
00:13:48,546 --> 00:13:49,762
I know it's $30.
340
00:13:49,797 --> 00:13:51,013
I got... $180.
341
00:13:51,048 --> 00:13:52,882
Woodward,
you got money?
342
00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:53,516
Yeah, i got ten.
343
00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:54,767
That gives us
220 bucks.
344
00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:56,018
Is that enough?
345
00:13:56,053 --> 00:13:57,269
We're bound to hit
346
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,521
one long shot,
maybe two.
347
00:13:58,556 --> 00:14:01,023
We'll parlay this
into a million bucks.
348
00:14:01,058 --> 00:14:02,892
We can't lose, paula!
We can't lose! Come on!
349
00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,777
Hey, wait a minute, chet!
350
00:14:04,812 --> 00:14:06,028
Wait a minute.
351
00:14:06,063 --> 00:14:07,279
What about humanity?
352
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,782
What did humanity
ever do for us?
353
00:14:09,817 --> 00:14:10,399
Come on!
354
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:18,157
We got us
an idea.
355
00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:20,042
Oh, boy, chester! Oh, boy!
356
00:14:20,077 --> 00:14:23,796
Look, my ribs aren't hurting
your elbow any, are they?
357
00:14:23,831 --> 00:14:25,047
Keep it quiet.
358
00:14:25,082 --> 00:14:26,916
Let me get the shot.
359
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,169
Okay.
360
00:14:41,098 --> 00:14:42,314
Ah-ah-ah.
361
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,566
Well?
362
00:14:43,601 --> 00:14:45,434
There's numbers on it.
363
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:47,069
6, 3, 11.
364
00:14:47,104 --> 00:14:48,938
Look what
number six pays.
365
00:14:48,973 --> 00:14:52,324
$47.60 to win.
366
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:53,325
Oh, boy,
chester!
367
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,577
Let me see.
368
00:14:54,612 --> 00:14:56,445
Number six, number six...
369
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,948
tidy too.
370
00:14:58,983 --> 00:15:00,199
Okay, boys and girls,
371
00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:02,084
our money goes on tidy too.
372
00:15:02,119 --> 00:15:03,335
Here. You take care of baby.
373
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,958
Going wide, can't hold the rail.
374
00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:11,210
And tidy too moves into the hole
on the rail and moves fast.
375
00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:13,095
Tidy too. Tidy too.
376
00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:14,346
Come on, number six.
377
00:15:14,964 --> 00:15:16,966
And sir rinos falls back.
378
00:15:17,001 --> 00:15:19,218
Come on, come on, tidy too.
379
00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:20,469
Come on, tidy too.
380
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:21,720
Come on, horsey!
381
00:15:23,973 --> 00:15:25,224
Tidy too.
382
00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:27,109
Come on, come on.
383
00:15:27,144 --> 00:15:28,727
Come on, tidy too.
384
00:15:33,482 --> 00:15:34,733
We won.
385
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:39,121
9,500 bucks... oh!
386
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:45,628
Here we go.
387
00:15:45,663 --> 00:15:48,130
Chet, go get the money.
388
00:15:48,165 --> 00:15:49,381
Yeah. Be right back.
389
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,633
Watch the camera.
390
00:15:53,135 --> 00:15:54,386
Thank you.
391
00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:03,145
Open the bag, honey.
I've run out of pockets.
392
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:04,396
Look at
the loot.
393
00:16:10,019 --> 00:16:13,772
95 times to win,
number four.
394
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:18,777
90...
395
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,029
91...
396
00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:20,663
92...
397
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:21,914
93...
398
00:16:21,949 --> 00:16:23,165
94...
399
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:23,782
95.
400
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,678
How soon can
you make delivery
401
00:16:35,713 --> 00:16:36,929
on something like that?
402
00:16:36,964 --> 00:16:38,180
No, no, no. Not black.
403
00:16:38,215 --> 00:16:40,683
It's got to be yellow
with black upholstery.
404
00:16:40,718 --> 00:16:43,802
Yeah. Wire wheels,
dual exhausts,
405
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,305
continental kit-
the works.
406
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,190
Right. And how much was it?
407
00:16:48,225 --> 00:16:50,059
$11,000.
408
00:16:50,094 --> 00:16:52,061
11 grand.
409
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:53,946
No, i'm not backing out.
410
00:16:53,981 --> 00:16:57,066
I'm thinking about whether
i want to get two or not.
411
00:16:57,101 --> 00:16:59,568
Okay, you bring the papers
around in the morning.
412
00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,453
We'll settle the whole deal.
413
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,956
Right, no, no, no.
I'll pay cash. Yeah.
414
00:17:06,243 --> 00:17:08,711
That must
be the waiter.
415
00:17:08,746 --> 00:17:11,213
Are you finished with
your snack, woodward, dear?
416
00:17:11,248 --> 00:17:13,716
Yeah. That'll hold
me till dinner.
417
00:17:13,751 --> 00:17:14,967
Come in.
418
00:17:15,002 --> 00:17:18,587
I came for the dishes, madam.
419
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:20,472
Right here.
420
00:17:24,226 --> 00:17:25,477
Could you possibly
bring us back
421
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,846
a couple bottles
of champagne?
422
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,098
Yes, ma'am, i can.
423
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:30,349
Hey, put that down.
424
00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:31,600
Oh, let him
look at it.
425
00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:33,485
Bet you never saw
anything like that.
426
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,603
Mais non.
427
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:35,854
Most unusual, sir.
428
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,740
Isn't it, though?
429
00:17:37,775 --> 00:17:39,608
You don't knowhowunusual.
430
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:42,745
But what do you do
after your ten pictures?
431
00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:45,864
Is there any other way
to get more film?
432
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,866
We've only had it
a little while.
433
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,118
What did you say?
434
00:17:49,153 --> 00:17:50,502
What about ten pictures?
435
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:54,873
Well, the inscription reads,
"dix a la proprietaire."
436
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,759
That means, "ten to an owner."
437
00:17:56,794 --> 00:17:58,377
Well, i presume
that means
438
00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:00,262
you may
only take ten.
439
00:18:00,297 --> 00:18:01,263
So odd.
440
00:18:01,298 --> 00:18:04,383
Yes, you see,
the lettering...
441
00:18:04,418 --> 00:18:05,634
yeah, okay,
pierre.
442
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:06,885
Don't forget
the champagne.
443
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,388
You're going to have
to get it for her.
444
00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:11,890
If we want anything
else, we'll call you.
445
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,776
Okay, boy. Bye.
446
00:18:13,811 --> 00:18:16,028
How many pictures
did we take?
447
00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:17,279
There was one of you.
448
00:18:17,314 --> 00:18:18,530
One of
woodward.
449
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,399
How many we take
at the track?
450
00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:21,650
Six... six races.
451
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:22,901
We've taken
eight pictures.
452
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:24,787
There's only
two left.
453
00:18:24,822 --> 00:18:26,038
Ten.
454
00:18:26,073 --> 00:18:27,906
How do we know
that's what it means?
455
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:29,792
Some smart-aleck
french waiter
456
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:31,043
tells us it means ten,
457
00:18:31,078 --> 00:18:33,545
so we figure we've
only got two left.
458
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:34,797
How does he know?
459
00:18:34,832 --> 00:18:37,299
I bet we can take
as many as we want.
460
00:18:37,334 --> 00:18:39,168
We can't take
any chances.
461
00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:41,053
Yeah, she's right.
You know what i think?
462
00:18:41,088 --> 00:18:42,921
I think we
ought to sell it.
463
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,173
Who's rattling
your cage, ape?
464
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:46,058
It doesn't
belong to you.
465
00:18:46,093 --> 00:18:47,309
You're here
on charity.
466
00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:49,812
We're going out to
the track tomorrow
467
00:18:49,847 --> 00:18:51,063
and bet
two more races.
468
00:18:51,098 --> 00:18:52,314
Are you
both crazy?
469
00:18:52,349 --> 00:18:54,817
We got to hang on
to it and save it.
470
00:18:54,852 --> 00:18:56,685
No, we don't,
we got to sell it.
471
00:19:01,690 --> 00:19:04,193
You made me
waste a picture.
472
00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:06,078
Ooh,
palpitations!
473
00:19:06,113 --> 00:19:07,329
Palpitations.
474
00:19:07,364 --> 00:19:10,449
Phony palpitations
and a stupid brother!
475
00:19:10,484 --> 00:19:12,951
I don't have to
take that guff.
476
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,203
All right, all right.
477
00:19:14,238 --> 00:19:16,088
Here, woodward,
take a drink.
478
00:19:16,123 --> 00:19:17,339
That's better.
479
00:19:34,356 --> 00:19:36,225
She's screaming.
480
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:39,978
Why do you think she's
screaming, woodward?
481
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,364
I'll tell you
why she's screaming.
482
00:19:42,399 --> 00:19:46,118
Because somebody's trying
to do something to her husband.
483
00:19:46,153 --> 00:19:47,369
Some stupid, no-good ex-con
484
00:19:47,404 --> 00:19:50,489
who wants to get that camera
and doesn't care how.
485
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:51,740
Don't!
486
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,625
Don't do it,
chet.
487
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:54,877
Put that knife away.
488
00:19:54,912 --> 00:19:56,128
Chester!
489
00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:57,996
If she's screaming
in that picture,
490
00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:01,133
she's because somebody's trying
to hurt her loving brother.
491
00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:02,384
Boys! Woodward!
492
00:20:02,419 --> 00:20:03,635
No, please.
493
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:06,138
Put it away or i'll
take off your skin.
494
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:09,258
Please, don't.
495
00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:16,014
Oh, chester.
496
00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:17,900
Oh, my.
497
00:20:17,935 --> 00:20:21,653
My husband... woodward.
498
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,522
I'll die.
499
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:26,658
There's nothing left for me.
500
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,527
Nothing.
501
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:37,920
However, we must muddle
through these things.
502
00:20:37,955 --> 00:20:40,422
We must live with tragedy.
503
00:20:40,457 --> 00:20:44,793
Poor woodward. Poor chester.
504
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,181
One more picture left.
505
00:20:49,798 --> 00:20:51,049
Ha!
506
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,309
For posterity, boys.
507
00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:01,560
Simply for posterity.
508
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,696
May you both rest in peace.
509
00:21:17,244 --> 00:21:18,460
What do you want?
510
00:21:18,495 --> 00:21:19,328
Pardonnez-moi.
511
00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:20,579
Madame, i understand
512
00:21:20,614 --> 00:21:23,081
there is something
in the way of laundry
513
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,333
that i should take.
514
00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:25,584
You've got
the wrong room.
515
00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,469
There's no laundry
here, jack.
516
00:21:27,504 --> 00:21:29,338
In fact,
i'm checking out.
517
00:21:29,373 --> 00:21:30,589
So i understand,
madame.
518
00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:33,725
Your two friends,
they already checked out.
519
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:34,977
What are
you doing?!
520
00:21:35,012 --> 00:21:37,479
I told you i was here
to take the laundry.
521
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,599
I'm- how do you say? -
cleaning you out.
522
00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:41,600
Cleaning me out?
523
00:21:41,635 --> 00:21:43,485
What do you think
i'll be doing
524
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:44,736
while you do that?
525
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:45,988
Well, i'll cue you.
526
00:21:46,023 --> 00:21:47,856
I'm going to be
calling the cops.
527
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:49,741
The cops?
528
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,610
Oh, you mean
the police?
529
00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:53,495
Madame will forgive me
530
00:21:53,530 --> 00:21:55,747
but, if you call the police,
531
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:58,867
madame will get herself
into- how you say? -
532
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:02,621
one fantastic bind.
533
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:06,124
Now this here,
this is- how you say? -
534
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,010
up for grabs.
535
00:22:08,045 --> 00:22:10,629
Dear lady, i know
all about you now.
536
00:22:10,664 --> 00:22:13,131
I have done some checking.
537
00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:16,268
Your husband,
your brother and you,
538
00:22:16,303 --> 00:22:19,137
you are wanted.
539
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,525
Now, as for the police,
540
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,645
i would advise you
to get out while you can.
541
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,530
When they discover
542
00:22:28,565 --> 00:22:31,033
what is down in
the courtyard there,
543
00:22:31,068 --> 00:22:34,152
they will be up here
sans invitation.
544
00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:37,906
Without invitation.
545
00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:39,791
Uninvited.
546
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:42,911
You- how you say? - You dig?
547
00:22:46,415 --> 00:22:50,802
Now, as to the laundry,
this may be back by thursday
548
00:22:50,837 --> 00:22:52,054
or maybe friday...
549
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:55,173
or maybe never.
550
00:22:57,676 --> 00:22:59,561
But i'm not a hog.
551
00:22:59,596 --> 00:23:03,065
This one, i will leave with you.
552
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,567
Sacre nom.
553
00:23:05,602 --> 00:23:08,687
There is a picture
of the courtyard down below,
554
00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,572
but there are
more than two bodies.
555
00:23:10,607 --> 00:23:13,692
More than two bodies?
556
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:32,344
Yes, there are more
than two bodies down there.
557
00:23:32,379 --> 00:23:35,347
Just like the picture shows-
558
00:23:35,382 --> 00:23:37,849
one, two, three...
559
00:23:39,101 --> 00:23:40,969
four!
560
00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:47,976
Object known as a camera-
561
00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:49,861
vintage uncertain,
origin unknown.
562
00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:53,615
But, for the greedy, the
avaricious, the fleet of foot
563
00:23:53,650 --> 00:23:55,484
who can run a four-minute mile
564
00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:57,986
so long as they're chasing
a fast buck,
565
00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:01,740
it makes believe that it's
an ally, but it isn't at all.
566
00:24:01,775 --> 00:24:03,625
It's a beckoning come-on
567
00:24:03,660 --> 00:24:07,379
for a quick walk around
the block in the twilight zone.
568
00:24:12,067 --> 00:24:15,137
Rod serling,
creator ofthe twilight zone,
569
00:24:15,172 --> 00:24:17,005
will tell you
about next week's story
570
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,492
after this word
from our alternate sponsor.
571
00:24:20,527 --> 00:24:22,060
And now, mr. Serling.
572
00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:23,261
This may look to you
573
00:24:23,895 --> 00:24:25,147
like any dismal,
dark and dingy alley
574
00:24:25,182 --> 00:24:27,649
that lies skulking off a million
myriad shadow-places
575
00:24:27,684 --> 00:24:29,518
off the main drags.
576
00:24:29,553 --> 00:24:32,020
Actually, it's the private
domain of leprechauns and elves,
577
00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:35,157
and supplies the locale
of next week'stwilight zone.
578
00:24:35,192 --> 00:24:37,659
With us for a very special
occasion is mr. Art carney,
579
00:24:37,694 --> 00:24:39,528
who plays the role of
a department store santa claus,
580
00:24:39,563 --> 00:24:42,664
and he plays it with the heart,
the warmth and the vast talent
581
00:24:42,699 --> 00:24:43,915
that is uniquely carney.
582
00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:48,320
Onthe twilight zonenext week,
"the night of the meek."
583
00:24:48,355 --> 00:24:52,090
Captioned by media access
group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org
584
00:25:29,878 --> 00:25:32,380
be sure and see
the colgate-palmolive company's
585
00:25:32,415 --> 00:25:34,883
new comedy show
my sister eileen
586
00:25:34,918 --> 00:25:38,637
wednesday night
on many of these same stations.
39760
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