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1
00:00:56,141 --> 00:00:58,201
My name is Nick.
2
00:00:58,376 --> 00:01:01,366
My last name, which I loathe,
is Twisp.
3
00:01:01,546 --> 00:01:02,906
Which would be a nice name...
4
00:01:03,081 --> 00:01:06,281
...if I planned on becoming
an evil nurse in a mental institution.
5
00:01:07,585 --> 00:01:09,915
I am a voracious reader
of classic prose...
6
00:01:10,088 --> 00:01:11,748
...an aspiring novelist...
7
00:01:11,923 --> 00:01:14,123
...and feel the world would be
a better place...
8
00:01:14,292 --> 00:01:17,522
...if every radio station played
Sinatra's "My One and Only Love"...
9
00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:18,955
...at least once an hour.
10
00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:20,890
Needless to say, I'm still a virgin.
11
00:01:23,902 --> 00:01:25,892
I live in Oakland
with my charming mother.
12
00:01:27,605 --> 00:01:29,695
- Estelle...
- Her latest boyfriend, Jerry...
13
00:01:29,874 --> 00:01:31,904
...is a truck driver
and pathological liar.
14
00:01:32,077 --> 00:01:35,097
If a woman answered the phone,
it was probably just the maid.
15
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,250
He's a real prize.
16
00:01:37,549 --> 00:01:39,609
I'm gonna bite you.
17
00:01:39,784 --> 00:01:41,224
No.
18
00:01:42,987 --> 00:01:44,677
- Hi, Nick.
- Hi.
19
00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:47,446
- Have three more for you.
- Oh, thanks, Mr. Ferguson.
20
00:01:47,625 --> 00:01:51,145
Our neighbor Mr. Ferguson likes to
bring us mail from our mailbox.
21
00:01:51,329 --> 00:01:55,059
He's a former activist with
a bleeding heart and too much time.
22
00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:57,723
He's always getting arrested
for staging protests...
23
00:01:57,902 --> 00:02:00,132
...and harboring illegal aliens
in his basement.
24
00:02:00,305 --> 00:02:03,325
He's a good man, but very strange.
25
00:02:05,810 --> 00:02:07,710
My dad is currently in between jobs.
26
00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:09,849
He would love
to not have to work at all...
27
00:02:10,014 --> 00:02:12,984
...but he's burdened with crippling
child-support payments.
28
00:02:13,151 --> 00:02:15,141
When am I gonna start getting
an allowance?
29
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,450
I'm getting tired of not having
a cell phone.
30
00:02:17,622 --> 00:02:20,492
I'm afraid you're gonna have to
work it out with your mom.
31
00:02:20,658 --> 00:02:23,148
- Lacey is Dad's girlfriend.
- Baby...
32
00:02:23,328 --> 00:02:25,558
...I cooked for you.
33
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,360
- You made me a snack.
- Come here.
34
00:02:27,532 --> 00:02:30,332
She's 25
and a budding cosmetologist.
35
00:02:30,502 --> 00:02:33,402
- I love it.
- Does my baby like it?
36
00:02:33,571 --> 00:02:36,301
It's amazing
and incredibly irritating to me...
37
00:02:36,474 --> 00:02:39,644
...how much action everyone
around me seems to be getting.
38
00:02:40,879 --> 00:02:42,209
With one exception.
39
00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:45,140
My sister saw Millie holding hands
with some college guy.
40
00:02:45,316 --> 00:02:49,336
My friend Lefty's had a crush on a girl
named Millie Filbert since third grade.
41
00:02:49,521 --> 00:02:51,921
He's the only person
more miserable than I am.
42
00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:56,250
You know, I've been taping my dick
to my right leg at night with duct tape.
43
00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,657
I think of Millie
in her green summery dress...
44
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,390
...and I get hard.
It starts to push against the tape...
45
00:03:01,566 --> 00:03:03,926
Putting counter-rotational
tension on the shaft.
46
00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:05,232
- Right.
- That's nice.
47
00:03:05,403 --> 00:03:07,743
In case you haven't heard,
Lefty's erect member...
48
00:03:07,906 --> 00:03:11,136
...takes a sudden and dramatic turn
to the east about midway up.
49
00:03:11,309 --> 00:03:13,399
- War.
- Well, you might wanna get it fixed...
50
00:03:13,578 --> 00:03:15,208
...before you ask Millie out.
51
00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:16,870
That's very true.
52
00:03:17,048 --> 00:03:19,348
What if I shove it up the wrong hole?
53
00:03:19,517 --> 00:03:22,447
What if we go out
and she doesn't even like me?
54
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,650
We get to know each other
and she hates me?
55
00:03:24,822 --> 00:03:26,382
We get married and have a kid...
56
00:03:26,558 --> 00:03:29,648
...but he's not good at anything,
has no talents?
57
00:03:31,429 --> 00:03:33,259
I wonder if it's worth it.
58
00:03:34,332 --> 00:03:37,732
Either way, you probably wanna
get your dick straightened out.
59
00:03:41,539 --> 00:03:43,529
- Is Jerry here?
- He just went out.
60
00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,438
That hunk-of-shit Chevy he sold us...
61
00:03:45,610 --> 00:03:47,740
...made it 17 miles
before the engine blew up.
62
00:03:47,912 --> 00:03:50,402
And we found evidence of a banana
in the transmission.
63
00:03:50,582 --> 00:03:52,212
So he owes us $900.
64
00:03:52,383 --> 00:03:56,113
Well, I'm quite certain that he spent
that $900 on his new Lincoln.
65
00:03:56,287 --> 00:03:59,717
Maybe you'd better come back
and speak with him directly.
66
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:02,881
He's a pretty stubborn man,
so you might have to get physical.
67
00:04:03,061 --> 00:04:04,091
That can be arranged.
68
00:04:05,563 --> 00:04:07,593
After living in Oakland
for 16 years...
69
00:04:07,765 --> 00:04:10,955
...I've noticed it's filled with women
who have zero interest in me.
70
00:04:11,135 --> 00:04:12,465
Hey, Karen.
71
00:04:12,637 --> 00:04:13,897
Nick.
72
00:04:14,072 --> 00:04:16,632
Oh, right. Physics?
73
00:04:16,808 --> 00:04:18,778
American History. You were close.
74
00:04:19,644 --> 00:04:20,984
What is that?
75
00:04:21,145 --> 00:04:23,805
Oh, La Strada. It's a Fellini movie.
76
00:04:23,982 --> 00:04:26,252
So random.
77
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:29,677
They were out of Miss Congeniality 2:
Armed and Fabulous...
78
00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:31,654
...so I went for a random...
79
00:04:31,823 --> 00:04:35,623
- Chad. Fuck you.
- Oh, fuck you, you love it.
80
00:04:35,793 --> 00:04:39,023
Hey, does that movie come with
tampons for your pussy?
81
00:04:39,197 --> 00:04:42,127
You know, Chad,
I'll be upset if it doesn't.
82
00:04:44,269 --> 00:04:46,429
In the movies,
the good guy gets the girl.
83
00:04:46,604 --> 00:04:48,944
In real life it's usually the prick.
84
00:04:49,107 --> 00:04:50,367
Nick, get out here.
85
00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:53,440
Nick.
86
00:04:53,778 --> 00:04:55,338
Nick.
87
00:04:56,814 --> 00:04:59,654
Nick, do you know anything
about this?
88
00:04:59,817 --> 00:05:02,747
Oh, yeah. Those sailors came by.
They want their money back.
89
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,150
Apparently there was some sort of
banana in the transmission.
90
00:05:09,394 --> 00:05:11,234
You tell them I was coming back?
91
00:05:11,396 --> 00:05:13,486
Now, why would I do that?
92
00:05:14,232 --> 00:05:15,962
Jerry, what are you gonna do?
93
00:05:16,134 --> 00:05:17,574
Go get the Lincoln washed.
94
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,285
You're leaving?
95
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:22,440
What happens when
that sailor comes back?
96
00:05:23,007 --> 00:05:25,197
To escape the threat
of ill-tempered sailors...
97
00:05:25,376 --> 00:05:27,366
...we're going to Clear Lake
for a week...
98
00:05:27,545 --> 00:05:29,945
...to stay in a cabin owned by
a friend of Jerry's.
99
00:05:30,114 --> 00:05:33,954
Since I have no life,
I figure I have nothing to lose.
100
00:05:37,288 --> 00:05:39,188
We're going on vacation.
101
00:07:27,765 --> 00:07:29,525
Jerry.
102
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:32,360
I thought you said it was a cabin.
103
00:07:33,738 --> 00:07:36,428
Come on, Estelle.
It's real cute on the inside.
104
00:07:55,226 --> 00:07:57,626
I say we let the kid do the dishes...
105
00:07:57,795 --> 00:08:00,485
...and you and I
retire to the master bedroom.
106
00:08:09,874 --> 00:08:12,004
Do you think Jerry is
someone that I can...
107
00:08:12,176 --> 00:08:14,636
...look forward to having around
for years to come?
108
00:08:14,812 --> 00:08:18,372
Nick, how many men are interested
in a woman who's 48 years old...
109
00:08:18,549 --> 00:08:21,179
...has a kid, no money
and stretch marks?
110
00:08:21,352 --> 00:08:23,652
I think you're selling yourself short,
Mom.
111
00:08:23,821 --> 00:08:26,651
Leave open the possibility
of a stretch-mark fetishist.
112
00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:29,194
Oh, watch your smart mouth.
113
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,794
So you're gonna do the dishes,
okay, hon?
114
00:08:36,968 --> 00:08:39,658
Gerald and I will be in back,
playing Scrabble.
115
00:09:13,337 --> 00:09:14,857
Your robe's open.
116
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:48,666
- So are you staying near here?
- We live down the block.
117
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,829
Oh, spitting distance.
118
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,478
So to speak.
119
00:09:53,911 --> 00:09:55,241
Hi, Stuck-up.
120
00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:58,413
- Hi.
- Honey, this is Sheeni Saunders.
121
00:09:58,583 --> 00:10:01,353
She stopped by to introduce herself.
Isn't that neighborly?
122
00:10:01,986 --> 00:10:04,576
- Yes. Yes.
- She's on her way to the store.
123
00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:06,805
I volunteered your help
carrying her bags.
124
00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:10,289
Sounds fun.
125
00:10:13,097 --> 00:10:14,757
You know, your family's arrival...
126
00:10:14,932 --> 00:10:17,702
...excited considerable interest
among the residents.
127
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:21,565
- Your father's beer cooler on the...
- Oh, no, he's not my father.
128
00:10:21,739 --> 00:10:23,299
Jerry's my mother's consort.
129
00:10:23,474 --> 00:10:26,074
He and I
have no blood links of any kind.
130
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,908
Well, that seems to be
worth something.
131
00:10:35,152 --> 00:10:37,382
Yesterday the most exciting thing
in my life...
132
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:41,245
...was the thought of Jerry being
beaten senseless by three sailors.
133
00:10:41,425 --> 00:10:45,225
Now I'm spending time
with a beautiful, interesting girl...
134
00:10:45,396 --> 00:10:47,156
...and I have no idea
how it happened.
135
00:10:47,331 --> 00:10:49,031
Here we are.
136
00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:51,964
Wow, a second floor.
137
00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:55,106
Yes. Father bought it so we could
look down on the world.
138
00:10:55,272 --> 00:10:56,712
What does your father do?
139
00:10:56,874 --> 00:10:58,474
He's a lawyer.
140
00:11:00,211 --> 00:11:02,411
Wow, this is really nice.
141
00:11:11,422 --> 00:11:14,122
- Where are your parents?
- They're at church.
142
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,690
Would you like a tour?
143
00:11:17,862 --> 00:11:19,392
Sure.
144
00:11:19,864 --> 00:11:21,394
Kitchen.
145
00:11:22,566 --> 00:11:25,086
This is Mother's Farfisa organ.
146
00:11:26,137 --> 00:11:30,267
Father added this extension
so he could fit these 64 pipes in.
147
00:11:33,978 --> 00:11:35,778
Dining room.
148
00:11:37,314 --> 00:11:39,544
Here's a family portrait.
149
00:11:44,388 --> 00:11:46,978
And this is my room.
150
00:11:57,702 --> 00:11:59,472
Didn't you just love Breathless?
151
00:12:00,071 --> 00:12:01,941
Jean-Paul was completely gripping.
152
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,743
If you like French people, I suppose.
Yeah.
153
00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:06,966
I can see it.
154
00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:09,144
I think my favorite film
was Tokyo Story.
155
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:11,543
I just think Mizoguchi
is a great director.
156
00:12:11,716 --> 00:12:13,776
It's a great film.
157
00:12:14,051 --> 00:12:15,811
But wasn't that by Ozu?
158
00:12:20,224 --> 00:12:21,624
Who can say?
159
00:12:25,696 --> 00:12:28,056
There's nothing quite as good
as vinyl.
160
00:12:28,232 --> 00:12:30,562
Yeah, it's very textural.
161
00:12:33,537 --> 00:12:36,467
- Do you like Frank Sinatra?
- I do.
162
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,867
But my all-time favorite is...
163
00:12:40,478 --> 00:12:43,068
...Serge Gainsbourg.
164
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,565
So you really like the French,
don't you?
165
00:12:46,751 --> 00:12:48,341
I wanna live in France.
166
00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:50,919
I wanna live all over the world.
167
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:54,315
I know there's so much more
than this out there.
168
00:12:57,428 --> 00:13:00,018
My parents are religious fanatics.
169
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,958
They're exhausting.
170
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:15,543
- Bye.
- Bye.
171
00:13:21,619 --> 00:13:23,139
Hey, Sheeni?
172
00:13:23,654 --> 00:13:27,494
Do you think you'd like to join me
at the beach tomorrow after breakfast?
173
00:13:27,892 --> 00:13:29,452
I'd love to.
174
00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:48,240
- Yes?
- Hello, Mr. Saunders. I'm Nick.
175
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:50,442
I'm here to see Sheeni.
176
00:13:51,715 --> 00:13:54,045
I understand you've invited her
to the beach.
177
00:13:54,218 --> 00:13:55,708
That's right.
178
00:13:56,921 --> 00:13:59,411
Well, I trust, sir,
you are aware that in doing so...
179
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:01,650
...you have entered into
an oral contract...
180
00:14:01,826 --> 00:14:03,376
...to perform in loco parentis...
181
00:14:03,561 --> 00:14:06,691
...i.e., to provide for
the safety and welfare...
182
00:14:06,864 --> 00:14:10,034
...of aforementioned minor female.
183
00:14:12,903 --> 00:14:15,603
- Ready?
- Very ready.
184
00:14:16,807 --> 00:14:18,327
Bye, Father.
185
00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:20,499
Goodbye, Mr. Saunders.
186
00:14:22,746 --> 00:14:25,976
Would you mind applying this
to my exposed areas?
187
00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:28,170
Sure.
188
00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:01,710
You get turned on easily.
189
00:15:03,888 --> 00:15:06,618
Don't stop, Nick. It's only natural.
190
00:15:07,591 --> 00:15:10,531
Girls are fortunate
in that it doesn't show.
191
00:15:10,694 --> 00:15:11,924
For all the world knows...
192
00:15:12,096 --> 00:15:14,826
...my vagina could be moist
with desire as we speak.
193
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:17,593
Is it?
194
00:15:21,405 --> 00:15:22,835
Should we do my front now?
195
00:15:23,607 --> 00:15:25,007
Okay.
196
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:26,895
I'm up for it.
197
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:48,424
Thank you.
198
00:16:00,911 --> 00:16:02,811
What's your last name?
199
00:16:03,514 --> 00:16:05,114
Dillinger.
200
00:16:10,988 --> 00:16:12,618
Twisp.
201
00:16:20,297 --> 00:16:21,727
Sheeni Saunders.
202
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:26,003
She's complicated, mischievous
and at this point...
203
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:29,500
...I'd be willing to give up
everything in my life to be with her.
204
00:16:32,042 --> 00:16:36,242
Nick, you're very nice,
but I should tell you I have a boyfriend.
205
00:16:36,947 --> 00:16:38,237
Oh, I see.
206
00:16:38,682 --> 00:16:40,312
His name is Trent.
207
00:16:40,484 --> 00:16:43,514
We've been together
for a while, actually.
208
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,011
What's he like?
209
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,050
He's 17...
210
00:16:48,225 --> 00:16:50,715
...6'2", fluent in French...
211
00:16:50,894 --> 00:16:54,354
...plays the piano,
is a champion swimmer...
212
00:16:54,531 --> 00:16:57,631
...and writes futurist
percussive poetry.
213
00:16:58,035 --> 00:17:01,525
Oh, I'm not familiar with
futurist percussive poems.
214
00:17:01,705 --> 00:17:04,465
I could recite one of Trent's,
if you'd like.
215
00:17:04,641 --> 00:17:06,171
Please do.
216
00:17:07,745 --> 00:17:09,675
Ram dam 12
217
00:17:09,847 --> 00:17:11,177
Sizzle mop
218
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:13,105
Crunch down
219
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,113
Safety net
220
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,475
Hot, hot, hot
Void
221
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,715
Well, that certainly sounds like
a poem.
222
00:17:23,894 --> 00:17:25,864
Jeez, he sounds great.
223
00:17:26,196 --> 00:17:29,216
Well, you know, I also have
a sweetheart for the moment, so...
224
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,960
Really? What's her name?
225
00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:35,566
Her name is Martha Singwall.
She's 16.
226
00:17:35,739 --> 00:17:38,039
She's got toasted almond hair, so...
227
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:41,438
She's only just recently returned
from Nice...
228
00:17:41,612 --> 00:17:44,512
...where she's been conducting
sociological research...
229
00:17:44,681 --> 00:17:48,411
...on the assimilation problems
of Italian immigrant workers...
230
00:17:48,585 --> 00:17:49,775
...down there.
231
00:17:49,953 --> 00:17:53,683
She's also a professional model
that specializes in lingerie.
232
00:17:53,857 --> 00:17:56,947
She likes me quite a bit.
She tells me that she loves my hair.
233
00:17:58,762 --> 00:18:02,102
- She sounds wonderful.
- Yes, I think you'd like her, Sheeni.
234
00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:05,566
Trent sounds great, too,
aside from being freakishly tall.
235
00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:08,356
He certainly does seem to have
a knack for...
236
00:18:08,539 --> 00:18:11,529
...smashing ungraceful words
together...
237
00:18:12,009 --> 00:18:13,739
...and deeming it a poem.
238
00:18:15,112 --> 00:18:17,512
Well, thanks for a lovely day, Nick.
239
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,311
Don't mention it.
240
00:18:21,085 --> 00:18:24,575
I think of this girl being swept away
by some pretentious poet...
241
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,415
...and it crushes me.
242
00:18:26,590 --> 00:18:28,020
She could never like me.
243
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:31,822
Unless I decided to radically change
every detail of my personality...
244
00:18:31,995 --> 00:18:33,685
...I'm going to die a virgin.
245
00:18:46,076 --> 00:18:47,536
- Nick?
- Sheeni, nice to see you.
246
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:49,911
I was going for a walk
and thought I'd drop by.
247
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,280
I remembered that you lived here.
I'm sorry I got upset about Trent.
248
00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:55,650
It was immature.
I'm not normally like that.
249
00:18:55,819 --> 00:18:58,879
He sounds like a great guy.
I'd love to hear more of his poetry.
250
00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:01,216
Do you wanna go to the beach?
Or get breakfast?
251
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,521
Actually, I'm going on a hike.
252
00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:04,854
I'd ask you to come...
253
00:19:05,028 --> 00:19:08,088
...but you haven't got boots,
provisions, maps or a compass.
254
00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:11,495
I do all my hiking freeform. Like
John Muir, I enter the wilderness...
255
00:19:11,668 --> 00:19:15,068
...with nothing more than my journal
and a child-like sense of wonder.
256
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:46,273
What the hell is going on?
This is a private journal.
257
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:50,628
Trent is not an affected twit.
258
00:19:50,807 --> 00:19:53,607
Sheeni, how would you like it
if I read your journal?
259
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,201
Go ahead.
260
00:20:04,755 --> 00:20:07,155
It's written in a shorthand
of my own devising.
261
00:20:07,324 --> 00:20:09,424
A necessity for a girl
with Christian parents.
262
00:20:09,593 --> 00:20:11,033
What does this say?
263
00:20:11,195 --> 00:20:12,955
Wouldn't you like to know?
264
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:16,290
That last passage would be
of particular interest to you.
265
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,896
I doubt that.
266
00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:22,528
I have very little interest in reading
about Trent's beautiful shoulders.
267
00:20:25,409 --> 00:20:29,069
I haven't made love with Trent,
if that's what you wanna know.
268
00:20:30,380 --> 00:20:33,820
I've only made love once
and it was less than erotic.
269
00:20:35,586 --> 00:20:38,146
But I hear it gets better with practice.
270
00:20:41,258 --> 00:20:44,088
You're a virgin. I can tell.
271
00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:52,287
Kiss me, you weenie.
272
00:21:15,225 --> 00:21:17,085
Sheeni, I think I love you.
273
00:21:17,261 --> 00:21:18,351
Of course you do.
274
00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,498
Well, your hormones certainly do.
275
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:24,763
Sheeni.
276
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,502
Yes, Mother. I'm just here with Nick.
277
00:21:27,671 --> 00:21:30,001
Let's see this young heathen.
278
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,530
Hello, Mrs. Saunders.
It's nice to meet you.
279
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,469
I doubt that very much.
280
00:21:34,645 --> 00:21:37,075
- See you tomorrow, Nick.
- Okay. Goodbye, Sheeni.
281
00:21:37,247 --> 00:21:38,337
Goodbye, Mrs. Saunders.
282
00:21:38,515 --> 00:21:41,675
Look into your soul, young man,
before it's too late.
283
00:21:41,852 --> 00:21:43,382
I will.
284
00:21:47,090 --> 00:21:49,220
Jerry sniffed out a trailer
he wants to buy...
285
00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:51,023
...and insisted we go check it out.
286
00:21:51,194 --> 00:21:54,864
I told Sheeni I was going to
write a book about her.
287
00:21:55,032 --> 00:21:57,502
She said it was a terrible idea.
288
00:22:02,639 --> 00:22:07,009
Jerry, all the closets
are full of mouse doodies.
289
00:22:07,177 --> 00:22:09,037
- I might take 950.
- Nine hundred.
290
00:22:09,212 --> 00:22:11,372
- Nine-ten.
- We're in business.
291
00:22:12,849 --> 00:22:15,719
Oh, come here.
Come here, come here.
292
00:22:15,886 --> 00:22:18,906
Hello. Hello.
293
00:22:19,089 --> 00:22:21,279
Nicky, look, isn't he cute?
294
00:22:21,458 --> 00:22:23,388
He's adorable.
295
00:22:24,528 --> 00:22:25,828
How much?
296
00:22:26,229 --> 00:22:27,559
Ten dollars.
297
00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:39,170
All I have is a Subway card
with four stickers.
298
00:22:41,011 --> 00:22:42,071
Sold.
299
00:22:42,679 --> 00:22:44,979
Thank you, Nicky.
300
00:22:50,887 --> 00:22:54,077
I think I'm going to name him Albert.
301
00:22:54,257 --> 00:22:56,747
After Albert Camus.
302
00:23:12,676 --> 00:23:16,306
That night was my first indisputable
make-out session with a girl.
303
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,970
After grappling in the warm darkness
with Sheeni...
304
00:23:19,149 --> 00:23:21,379
...I found this note in my back pocket.
305
00:23:21,551 --> 00:23:23,881
I thought she had been
caressing my ass.
306
00:23:26,456 --> 00:23:27,546
Dear Nick.
307
00:23:27,724 --> 00:23:30,064
Please excuse me
for reading your journal.
308
00:23:30,227 --> 00:23:32,917
I have found that people
who can resist temptation...
309
00:23:33,096 --> 00:23:36,396
...invariably lead
depressingly stunted lives.
310
00:23:36,566 --> 00:23:39,826
Naturally I was charmed
by what you wrote about me.
311
00:23:40,003 --> 00:23:43,443
Your contemplation of suicide
and your invention of Martha...
312
00:23:43,607 --> 00:23:47,507
...cannot help but evoke a strong
emotional response in my breast.
313
00:23:48,111 --> 00:23:49,601
We are both young.
314
00:23:49,780 --> 00:23:53,010
Let's just live
and what happens will happen.
315
00:23:53,183 --> 00:23:56,713
Yours affectionately, Sheeni.
316
00:24:06,463 --> 00:24:08,263
I have to leave today.
317
00:24:08,432 --> 00:24:12,702
Jerry threw his back out last night
in bed with my mother...
318
00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:16,969
...so he has to be reunited with
his painkillers back in Oakland.
319
00:24:17,808 --> 00:24:19,828
We're leaving in an hour.
320
00:24:21,945 --> 00:24:23,935
So this will be goodbye.
321
00:24:25,015 --> 00:24:26,475
Goodbye.
322
00:24:26,650 --> 00:24:28,550
You don't have to act so brave,
Sheeni.
323
00:24:28,718 --> 00:24:30,688
I wouldn't judge you
if you started to cry.
324
00:24:30,854 --> 00:24:33,724
No, Nicky. It's Albert.
325
00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:35,880
He snuck out of my room last night.
326
00:24:36,059 --> 00:24:39,389
When I woke up,
he had shredded the family Bible.
327
00:24:39,563 --> 00:24:41,393
My parents took it as a sign of evil.
328
00:24:41,565 --> 00:24:44,655
Now I have to find someone
who will take him.
329
00:24:44,835 --> 00:24:47,095
- Well, I'll take him.
- You will?
330
00:24:47,270 --> 00:24:51,170
I'll have to hide him from my mother
because she can't stand dogs...
331
00:24:51,341 --> 00:24:53,331
...but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
332
00:24:53,510 --> 00:24:55,480
He's our lovechild.
333
00:24:56,847 --> 00:24:58,867
Sheeni, I can't stand
the thought of you...
334
00:24:59,049 --> 00:25:02,579
...falling in love with some
egotistical poet while I'm gone.
335
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:05,382
I've had a great time with you.
336
00:25:05,555 --> 00:25:07,675
It was a really lovely summer fling.
337
00:25:08,658 --> 00:25:11,918
But I can't put my whole life on hold.
338
00:25:13,063 --> 00:25:14,593
You don't even live here.
339
00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:17,894
But we could run away together.
We can escape our families...
340
00:25:18,068 --> 00:25:19,658
...live like outlaws together.
341
00:25:19,836 --> 00:25:23,166
No offense, Nicky,
but it's not exactly in your constitution.
342
00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:27,110
What if my dad could get a job here
in Ukiah and I come live with him?
343
00:25:27,878 --> 00:25:30,398
My mother depends on
the child-support money...
344
00:25:30,580 --> 00:25:32,380
...but maybe I could get kicked out.
345
00:25:32,549 --> 00:25:34,569
That's a lot of what-ifs.
346
00:25:34,751 --> 00:25:38,451
Do you think you could help me find
some job opportunities for my dad?
347
00:25:39,456 --> 00:25:40,946
It's possible.
348
00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,294
We can do this, Sheeni.
This can happen.
349
00:25:44,928 --> 00:25:47,588
Well, look at you
taking control of the situation.
350
00:25:47,764 --> 00:25:49,994
I'll do whatever I have to do.
351
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:55,060
I've never had anything in my life
that I wanted to fight for so much.
352
00:25:55,238 --> 00:25:58,538
Then we'll have to figure out a way
for you to be kicked out.
353
00:25:58,708 --> 00:26:01,068
You have to be bad, Nicky.
354
00:26:01,244 --> 00:26:04,684
Be very, very bad.
355
00:26:04,848 --> 00:26:07,008
I have a tall mountain to climb...
356
00:26:07,183 --> 00:26:09,413
...with many treacherous glaciers
to cross.
357
00:26:09,586 --> 00:26:15,286
But finally I've obtained an entry visa
to the paradise that lays beyond.
358
00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:17,428
I won't let him out of my sight.
359
00:26:44,487 --> 00:26:46,317
Where's the Nova?
360
00:26:46,489 --> 00:26:49,479
See that, babe? They took it back.
361
00:26:49,659 --> 00:26:51,749
Sailors are all talk...
362
00:26:51,928 --> 00:26:53,948
...all the time.
363
00:26:58,001 --> 00:26:59,091
Jerry.
364
00:26:59,269 --> 00:27:01,329
Shit on a goddamn dick.
365
00:27:01,504 --> 00:27:06,414
I have spent the last 15 years trying
to get this house to look just perfect.
366
00:27:06,576 --> 00:27:10,706
Oh, God, Nick. Go get a pan quick.
It's dripping on my new shag.
367
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,780
Yeah, I'll get a pan.
368
00:27:12,949 --> 00:27:15,849
You should have given that man
his money back.
369
00:27:18,221 --> 00:27:21,021
Holy shit. There's still water
in the windshield thing.
370
00:27:21,791 --> 00:27:23,951
But how'd they even get it in here?
371
00:27:24,127 --> 00:27:27,457
Looks like they took it apart
piece by piece and then...
372
00:27:27,631 --> 00:27:29,721
...reassembled it.
373
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:34,130
But that would take
an army of mechanics to do that.
374
00:27:35,238 --> 00:27:36,728
Or a Navy.
375
00:27:36,906 --> 00:27:38,906
Or a Navy, baby.
376
00:27:51,554 --> 00:27:54,554
I told my parents about my sister
going all the way with Carlo.
377
00:27:54,724 --> 00:27:57,924
Now she's playing that damn
Ashlee Simpson album over and over.
378
00:27:58,094 --> 00:28:01,224
My life is a living hell, Nick.
It is a living hell.
379
00:28:01,398 --> 00:28:04,488
Damn. I think I've got something
to cheer you up, my friend.
380
00:28:04,934 --> 00:28:06,704
His name is Albert.
381
00:28:06,870 --> 00:28:09,300
I don't know why you have a dog.
You hate dogs.
382
00:28:09,472 --> 00:28:11,912
This is more than a dog.
383
00:28:12,075 --> 00:28:15,435
This is my only tangible link
to the love of my life.
384
00:28:15,612 --> 00:28:17,342
You met a girl?
385
00:28:17,514 --> 00:28:19,484
She isn't just a girl, Lefty.
386
00:28:19,649 --> 00:28:21,619
She's a comely angel...
387
00:28:21,785 --> 00:28:24,645
...sent to teach me about
all that is good in the world.
388
00:28:24,821 --> 00:28:27,021
Is she prettier than Millie Filbert?
389
00:28:27,457 --> 00:28:28,917
Lefty...
390
00:28:29,092 --> 00:28:31,462
...after seeing Sheeni
you would look at Millie...
391
00:28:31,628 --> 00:28:34,498
...and you would see
no more than a slatternly wench...
392
00:28:34,664 --> 00:28:38,534
...trying to muddy your perception
of what a pretty girl should be.
393
00:28:38,702 --> 00:28:41,032
How do I know you're not
making this girl up?
394
00:28:47,677 --> 00:28:50,267
Your life has really changed since
I last saw you, Nick.
395
00:28:51,347 --> 00:28:53,537
How are things going with Millie?
396
00:28:54,651 --> 00:28:57,981
I got this book,
Lovemaking for Advanced Gourmets.
397
00:28:58,154 --> 00:29:00,854
I'm looking up some tips
so I can really blow her mind.
398
00:29:01,024 --> 00:29:02,894
For instance, there's one in here.
399
00:29:03,059 --> 00:29:06,429
You're supposed to stick your pinkie
inside of a girl's bumhole.
400
00:29:06,596 --> 00:29:07,856
- Liar.
- Read it and weep.
401
00:29:08,031 --> 00:29:10,001
I have it marked right there.
402
00:29:12,869 --> 00:29:16,969
I think that Sheeni might find this
pinkie technique less than romantic.
403
00:29:17,140 --> 00:29:20,510
Could I borrow this? Might be one
or two things I should know.
404
00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:22,147
Yeah, it's fine.
405
00:29:27,984 --> 00:29:30,014
- Hello?
- Hi, Nicky.
406
00:29:30,186 --> 00:29:32,916
Have you any misdeeds to report?
407
00:29:33,089 --> 00:29:34,819
I'm working on it.
408
00:29:34,991 --> 00:29:36,521
Nicky.
409
00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:39,423
- You sound concerned.
- lf you don't take the initiative...
410
00:29:39,596 --> 00:29:42,116
...how do you think you'll feel
when I marry Francois?
411
00:29:42,298 --> 00:29:43,488
Who's Francois?
412
00:29:43,666 --> 00:29:45,626
My future French husband.
413
00:29:47,437 --> 00:29:50,597
Well, I mean,
I can't wait for you forever.
414
00:29:52,509 --> 00:29:55,139
Nick, how is my darling Albert?
415
00:29:55,311 --> 00:29:56,541
Albert is great.
416
00:29:56,713 --> 00:29:59,313
We've been going on
these bonding jogs twice daily...
417
00:29:59,482 --> 00:30:01,642
...which he loves.
I've been enjoying them too.
418
00:30:01,818 --> 00:30:03,908
They've been getting me
into great shape.
419
00:30:04,087 --> 00:30:05,917
That's wonderful, darling.
420
00:30:07,290 --> 00:30:09,280
My one and only love
needs me to be bad...
421
00:30:10,527 --> 00:30:13,827
...to overcome the inhibitions
that compel me to be law-abiding...
422
00:30:13,997 --> 00:30:16,897
...polite to my elders
and excessively nice.
423
00:30:17,066 --> 00:30:19,526
I have decided to create
a supplementary persona...
424
00:30:19,702 --> 00:30:21,762
...named Francois Dillinger.
425
00:30:23,439 --> 00:30:24,669
Bold...
426
00:30:24,841 --> 00:30:26,471
...contemptuous of authority...
427
00:30:26,643 --> 00:30:28,983
...and irresistible to women.
428
00:30:29,546 --> 00:30:32,276
Francois is just the type
of aggressive sociopath...
429
00:30:32,448 --> 00:30:35,208
...who can wage, and win,
a war of nerves.
430
00:30:45,428 --> 00:30:47,988
Better give your mother a hug, son.
431
00:30:48,765 --> 00:30:49,955
Oh, no.
432
00:30:50,133 --> 00:30:53,903
It turns out Jerry had a heart attack
in a Dallas bar and took it badly.
433
00:30:54,070 --> 00:30:55,160
He died.
434
00:30:55,338 --> 00:30:58,238
When will the body arrive?
435
00:30:59,309 --> 00:31:01,499
I'm afraid it's already been
shipped, ma'am...
436
00:31:01,678 --> 00:31:02,868
...to his wife.
437
00:31:03,046 --> 00:31:05,136
His wife?
438
00:31:06,082 --> 00:31:08,182
Yes, ma'am, his wife.
439
00:31:09,853 --> 00:31:13,453
It's also my duty to inform you
she wishes to claim the Lincoln...
440
00:31:13,623 --> 00:31:16,653
...which he registered
to this address.
441
00:31:23,066 --> 00:31:24,396
It's okay.
442
00:31:24,567 --> 00:31:26,827
There, there. It's gonna be okay.
443
00:31:27,003 --> 00:31:29,773
There, there.
Everything will be okay.
444
00:31:43,119 --> 00:31:45,209
Those are my records.
What are you doing?
445
00:31:45,388 --> 00:31:49,188
You're not gonna get this girl by
listening to records and jerking off.
446
00:31:49,359 --> 00:31:51,849
Well, that wasn't my entire plan.
447
00:31:52,028 --> 00:31:53,388
What is your plan, shithead?
448
00:31:53,563 --> 00:31:56,663
Slouching your shoulders
while Trent boy has her on his lap?
449
00:31:56,833 --> 00:31:59,393
I don't need you here right now.
I just need to think.
450
00:31:59,569 --> 00:32:01,059
Well, I'm not going anywhere.
451
00:32:01,237 --> 00:32:03,797
Not until you sink your filthy dick
in this tomato.
452
00:32:04,407 --> 00:32:06,667
Not until you get what you want.
453
00:32:07,744 --> 00:32:10,344
Now it's time to rebel, Nick.
454
00:32:10,513 --> 00:32:12,383
It's time to be bad.
455
00:32:12,548 --> 00:32:16,178
It's not a good day for that.
My mom got some devastating news.
456
00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:18,720
That's perfect.
457
00:32:18,888 --> 00:32:20,648
She's vulnerable.
458
00:32:20,823 --> 00:32:22,763
She's fragile.
459
00:32:23,226 --> 00:32:26,216
Now, what does she value
more than anything?
460
00:32:27,530 --> 00:32:29,830
She values her things.
461
00:32:36,940 --> 00:32:38,460
With the guidance of Francois...
462
00:32:38,641 --> 00:32:41,841
...I quickly transformed myself
into a textbook juvenile delinquent.
463
00:32:44,347 --> 00:32:46,537
Sheeni has held up
her end of the bargain...
464
00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:50,016
...by finding Dad work at a magazine
called Progressive Plywood.
465
00:32:50,186 --> 00:32:52,776
She called him
pretending to be a headhunter.
466
00:32:52,956 --> 00:32:55,116
- Really?
- It took some convincing on her part.
467
00:32:55,291 --> 00:32:57,891
Sounds cool,
but I don't know much about wood.
468
00:32:58,061 --> 00:32:59,651
That's not what I've heard.
469
00:32:59,829 --> 00:33:03,159
To my chagrin, the magazine is
owned by the father of Trent Preston.
470
00:33:03,333 --> 00:33:06,233
- Let me go first, this is heavy.
- There were no other options.
471
00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:07,772
Nice house, right?
472
00:33:16,512 --> 00:33:18,882
Oh, thank you.
473
00:33:20,950 --> 00:33:22,780
Oh, thanks. Ex-squeeze me.
474
00:33:22,952 --> 00:33:24,012
Sit over there.
475
00:33:25,188 --> 00:33:28,058
- Oh, Nicky.
- Morning, everyone.
476
00:33:28,658 --> 00:33:31,528
Isn't it nice of Officer Westcott
to drop by so early...
477
00:33:31,694 --> 00:33:34,254
...and have breakfast with us?
478
00:33:34,430 --> 00:33:37,230
Oh, it sure was. Yeah, that's nice.
479
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,370
Oh, your father called.
He got a job in Ukiah.
480
00:33:40,536 --> 00:33:42,436
That's good for him.
481
00:33:42,605 --> 00:33:44,065
Good.
482
00:33:46,009 --> 00:33:49,709
Do you think it might be a good idea
if I moved in with him for a little bit?
483
00:33:49,879 --> 00:33:52,139
You know as well as I do
that's not gonna work.
484
00:33:52,315 --> 00:33:54,545
I depend on that
child-support money to eat.
485
00:33:56,152 --> 00:33:59,322
Shouldn't you depend on child-support
money to support your child?
486
00:33:59,489 --> 00:34:03,049
Hey, be nice to your mom, kid.
She's grieving.
487
00:34:08,498 --> 00:34:11,258
When do I take this off?
How long do you leave it on for?
488
00:34:11,434 --> 00:34:14,034
Just leave it on for three minutes.
489
00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:20,995
Shit.
490
00:34:21,344 --> 00:34:24,114
Those fuckers
are taking a shower together.
491
00:34:24,380 --> 00:34:26,140
How repulsive.
492
00:34:33,389 --> 00:34:35,619
- Shit! Shit! Turn it off!
- Fuck!
493
00:34:47,670 --> 00:34:50,330
What was all that racket last night?
494
00:34:54,944 --> 00:34:57,574
Nicky, I'm sorry if we disturbed you.
495
00:34:57,747 --> 00:35:00,237
You know, this is my home too.
496
00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:04,480
All of a sudden some stranger starts
staying over, I'm not even consulted.
497
00:35:06,355 --> 00:35:09,045
What's with you, kid?
Just mind your own damn business.
498
00:35:09,225 --> 00:35:10,655
No, you mind your business.
499
00:35:10,827 --> 00:35:12,847
He's my son.
500
00:35:14,063 --> 00:35:18,003
Nicky, you're right. I should have
informed you that Officer Westcott...
501
00:35:18,167 --> 00:35:21,027
...was gonna be spending the evening.
I'm sorry.
502
00:35:21,204 --> 00:35:24,544
I thought there were laws in the city
against illicit cohabitation.
503
00:35:25,942 --> 00:35:28,382
Or are they just another
big policeman's joke?
504
00:35:28,544 --> 00:35:31,604
Kid, you're asking for trouble.
Just don't.
505
00:35:31,781 --> 00:35:33,111
Just don't.
506
00:35:33,549 --> 00:35:35,779
Or what are you gonna do?
507
00:35:35,952 --> 00:35:37,042
Shoot me with your gun?
508
00:35:37,487 --> 00:35:40,117
All right, all right. Lance.
Okay, okay, okay.
509
00:35:40,289 --> 00:35:43,419
You just shut your mouth right now.
Right now.
510
00:35:44,327 --> 00:35:46,117
Thanks for breakfast.
511
00:35:46,295 --> 00:35:48,455
Where are you going?
512
00:36:00,977 --> 00:36:02,637
What are those for?
513
00:36:03,679 --> 00:36:07,239
You and I are gonna find a nice quiet
parking lot and set this baby on fire.
514
00:36:07,416 --> 00:36:10,206
- I thought we were gonna wreck it.
- Use your head.
515
00:36:10,386 --> 00:36:12,746
No sense getting killed for a girl.
516
00:36:21,864 --> 00:36:24,924
- Sure you know what you're doing?
- Relax, kid. I read the book.
517
00:36:25,101 --> 00:36:27,071
Okay, pull over. Pull over.
518
00:36:27,937 --> 00:36:29,227
We have to pull over.
519
00:36:29,405 --> 00:36:31,335
Pull over now.
520
00:36:32,475 --> 00:36:33,765
Okay.
521
00:36:33,943 --> 00:36:37,673
We need to consider our actions
and what the consequences will be.
522
00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:39,407
Listen, asshole.
523
00:36:39,582 --> 00:36:43,542
You've been making all the decisions
for 16 years. Look at where you are.
524
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,549
I'm here to rescue you from yourself.
525
00:36:45,721 --> 00:36:48,051
Just be quiet
and let me blow some shit up.
526
00:36:48,224 --> 00:36:51,394
Can I make one request since
it's my life that we're talking about?
527
00:36:51,561 --> 00:36:54,661
Can we keep it to the absolute
minimum amount of destruction?
528
00:36:54,830 --> 00:36:56,730
Yeah, perfect. Okay.
529
00:36:56,899 --> 00:36:59,419
Absolute minimum. That's good.
530
00:36:59,602 --> 00:37:01,192
I like that.
531
00:37:40,576 --> 00:37:41,836
Let's get out of here!
532
00:39:06,929 --> 00:39:09,089
Luckily no major injuries
were reported...
533
00:39:09,265 --> 00:39:12,195
...though several firefighters
were hospitalized due to...
534
00:39:13,869 --> 00:39:15,459
Hi, guys. How was dinner?
535
00:39:15,638 --> 00:39:17,398
Keep your lips sewn, fucker.
536
00:39:17,573 --> 00:39:20,873
You stole your mother's car and trailer
and you set a $5 million fire?
537
00:39:21,043 --> 00:39:23,203
I refuse to stand for
such allegations.
538
00:39:23,379 --> 00:39:25,609
Nicky, they have a description
of the arsonist.
539
00:39:25,781 --> 00:39:28,771
Right here. "White teenage male,
approximately 5'9".
540
00:39:28,951 --> 00:39:31,611
135 pounds, dirty blond hair.
541
00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:38,347
Last seen pulling a trailer with 'God's
Perfect Asshole' painted on the side."
542
00:39:38,527 --> 00:39:39,757
That could be anyone.
543
00:39:39,929 --> 00:39:43,299
God, my only son is going to prison.
What am I gonna do?
544
00:39:43,466 --> 00:39:46,526
No, no, no.
545
00:39:46,702 --> 00:39:48,862
It's gonna be okay.
546
00:39:49,038 --> 00:39:51,198
You know what? I'll tell you what.
547
00:39:51,374 --> 00:39:55,744
I'll just say that Nick reported the car
stolen before the fire.
548
00:39:55,911 --> 00:39:58,881
This way it'll get him off the hook.
Okay?
549
00:40:00,216 --> 00:40:03,406
But I could take
some serious, serious heat for this.
550
00:40:03,586 --> 00:40:05,676
Oh, Lance, you are so wonderful.
551
00:40:05,855 --> 00:40:08,115
What can I ever do to repay you?
552
00:40:08,758 --> 00:40:10,248
I'll think of something.
553
00:40:10,426 --> 00:40:12,756
Oh, but you know what?
You know what, baby?
554
00:40:13,262 --> 00:40:17,792
I don't think he should be here
when the detectives come around.
555
00:40:17,967 --> 00:40:19,487
Right?
556
00:40:19,668 --> 00:40:24,158
So the best thing to do
is to send him away for a while.
557
00:40:27,410 --> 00:40:30,310
Let him go make his father's life
miserable for a change.
558
00:40:30,479 --> 00:40:32,949
- But I like it here.
- You're gone, buster.
559
00:40:35,117 --> 00:40:36,137
Hello?
560
00:40:36,318 --> 00:40:39,338
Your son just burned down Berkeley.
Come and get the brat.
561
00:40:39,522 --> 00:40:41,462
- Estelle?
- Start packing your bags.
562
00:40:41,624 --> 00:40:44,024
Oh, no, no.
563
00:40:44,193 --> 00:40:46,023
Aren't you going to punish him?
564
00:40:46,195 --> 00:40:48,625
I'd say he deserves a good hiding.
565
00:40:48,798 --> 00:40:52,458
He's just too much for me anymore.
Can you do it, hon?
566
00:40:52,635 --> 00:40:54,825
Yeah, I could help you out.
567
00:41:01,544 --> 00:41:03,384
I stepped away for a few minutes.
568
00:41:03,546 --> 00:41:06,516
Francois volunteered
to take the thrashing.
569
00:41:06,682 --> 00:41:09,712
A painful sacrifice
for the woman I love.
570
00:41:10,686 --> 00:41:12,586
You through, big man?
571
00:41:17,059 --> 00:41:19,359
So off we go to beautiful Ukiah...
572
00:41:19,528 --> 00:41:21,518
...where soon I'll be
in the warm embrace...
573
00:41:21,697 --> 00:41:24,257
...of the mother
of my future gifted children.
574
00:41:34,076 --> 00:41:35,736
- Hello?
- Sheeni, it's Nick.
575
00:41:37,012 --> 00:41:38,842
Hi, darling. Where are you?
576
00:41:39,014 --> 00:41:41,144
I'm here. I'm in Ukiah.
577
00:41:41,317 --> 00:41:43,547
I'm living with my dad.
My mother kicked me out.
578
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:44,909
How did you do it?
579
00:41:45,087 --> 00:41:47,887
I stole my mother's car
and burned down half of Berkeley.
580
00:41:48,057 --> 00:41:50,357
She had no choice
but to send me away.
581
00:41:50,526 --> 00:41:53,496
- Nicky, that's incredible.
- Well, I did it for you, Sheeni.
582
00:41:53,662 --> 00:41:55,792
I did it so that we could be together.
583
00:41:55,965 --> 00:41:58,395
I bet you didn't think I had it in me,
did you?
584
00:41:58,567 --> 00:42:01,087
That is so romantic, Nicky.
I don't know what to say.
585
00:42:01,270 --> 00:42:02,670
It'll be just like we planned.
586
00:42:02,838 --> 00:42:05,098
It'll be you and me and Albert,
all together.
587
00:42:06,408 --> 00:42:08,338
Hello, Mr. Saunders.
Is Sheeni available?
588
00:42:08,511 --> 00:42:10,101
She most certainly is not.
589
00:42:10,279 --> 00:42:12,939
We know all about what you did
in Berkeley, young man.
590
00:42:13,115 --> 00:42:17,345
You are lucky I don't strangle you
right here in Christ's eyes.
591
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,010
You're the devil
and that dog is a hell beast.
592
00:42:20,189 --> 00:42:23,919
You're lucky we don't call the police
and have you arrested right now.
593
00:42:24,093 --> 00:42:25,753
You're not gonna let me
see Sheeni?
594
00:42:25,928 --> 00:42:26,948
Sheeni's leaving.
595
00:42:27,129 --> 00:42:28,759
- We're sending her away.
- What?
596
00:42:28,931 --> 00:42:31,231
To boarding school,
where she'll be safe.
597
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:35,860
She's had a lot of bad influences
here in Ukiah, you being the worst.
598
00:42:36,038 --> 00:42:38,438
I'm in love with Sheeni.
I can't live without her.
599
00:42:38,607 --> 00:42:40,907
Live without her or die,
we have no preference.
600
00:42:41,076 --> 00:42:43,336
Stay out of our family's life.
601
00:42:47,182 --> 00:42:48,772
Later Sheeni called and told me...
602
00:42:48,951 --> 00:42:51,891
...she managed to turn disaster
into an opportunity for herself.
603
00:42:52,054 --> 00:42:53,354
She convinced her parents...
604
00:42:53,522 --> 00:42:56,722
...to send her to a French prep school
200 miles away in Santa Cruz.
605
00:42:56,892 --> 00:43:00,592
She says she's been wanting to go to
this school since she was a little girl...
606
00:43:00,763 --> 00:43:01,993
...and that going there...
607
00:43:02,164 --> 00:43:05,074
...will improve her chances
for going to school in Paris.
608
00:43:05,234 --> 00:43:06,394
Things are bad.
609
00:43:06,569 --> 00:43:09,089
How am I supposed to eat
with this hideous dog staring?
610
00:43:09,271 --> 00:43:10,971
He likes you, George.
611
00:43:11,140 --> 00:43:12,940
Well, the feeling's not mutual.
612
00:43:14,443 --> 00:43:15,603
Nick?
613
00:43:15,778 --> 00:43:19,368
You won't be getting an allowance.
Might wanna think about getting a job.
614
00:43:19,548 --> 00:43:21,708
- Okay.
- There's an opening at my office.
615
00:43:21,884 --> 00:43:23,444
Typing and filing after school.
616
00:43:23,619 --> 00:43:25,609
Isn't that what that boy Trent does?
617
00:43:25,788 --> 00:43:29,218
Trent went away to some
French-speaking prep school...
618
00:43:29,391 --> 00:43:31,921
...down south. Santa Cruz, I think.
619
00:43:43,272 --> 00:43:44,402
Hello.
620
00:43:44,573 --> 00:43:47,103
- You're new here, right?
- Yeah.
621
00:43:47,276 --> 00:43:49,606
I'm Vijay Joshi. It's nice to meet you.
622
00:43:49,778 --> 00:43:51,468
Nick Twisp. Pleasure to meet you.
623
00:43:57,252 --> 00:44:00,022
So have you made many friends
in Ukiah yet, Nick?
624
00:44:00,189 --> 00:44:02,279
Not really.
I moved here for my girlfriend...
625
00:44:02,458 --> 00:44:05,118
...and she just went to some
French school in Santa Cruz.
626
00:44:05,294 --> 00:44:08,704
- Sheeni Saunders?
- Yeah. Did you know her?
627
00:44:08,864 --> 00:44:10,204
We were locker neighbors.
628
00:44:10,366 --> 00:44:13,386
So you are her new fellow?
629
00:44:14,303 --> 00:44:15,903
I'm surprised.
630
00:44:16,071 --> 00:44:17,661
Why's that?
631
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,670
It's just that to replace
the magnificent Trent Preston...
632
00:44:20,843 --> 00:44:23,403
...one expects at least a minor deity.
633
00:44:24,380 --> 00:44:27,680
It's good to know us short fellows
have appeal with the ladies.
634
00:44:27,850 --> 00:44:31,810
Right. I believe I'm of average height
for my age, Vijay.
635
00:44:31,987 --> 00:44:33,677
Do tell Sheeni I say hello.
636
00:44:33,856 --> 00:44:36,446
How fortunate
to attend L'Ecole des Arts.
637
00:44:36,625 --> 00:44:38,175
I've always wanted to go.
638
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:40,690
- Do you speak French?
- Yes, fluently.
639
00:44:40,863 --> 00:44:43,263
She says English is forbidden
on campus.
640
00:44:43,432 --> 00:44:47,962
"Even if you are hemorrhaging
from an accidental limb amputation."
641
00:44:48,570 --> 00:44:50,700
She has a roommate from New York,
Taggarty...
642
00:44:50,873 --> 00:44:52,813
...who has already slept with
17 guys...
643
00:44:52,975 --> 00:44:55,335
...and hopes to rack up 50
before college.
644
00:44:56,011 --> 00:44:57,811
I really must meet this girl.
645
00:44:58,580 --> 00:44:59,600
Keep going.
646
00:44:59,782 --> 00:45:01,722
She says Trent has taken up
windsurfing...
647
00:45:01,884 --> 00:45:04,984
...and become target number one
among all the girls in her class.
648
00:45:05,154 --> 00:45:06,714
She's trying not to be jealous...
649
00:45:06,889 --> 00:45:09,219
...but sometimes experiences
twinges of distress.
650
00:45:09,391 --> 00:45:13,091
She also says that Trent's presence
on campus came as a shock to her...
651
00:45:13,262 --> 00:45:17,632
...and that it is merely a coincidence
they transferred to the same school.
652
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,890
Yeah. Somehow I can't feature that.
653
00:45:20,069 --> 00:45:22,799
Trent has expressed interest in
mending the relationship...
654
00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:25,531
...and getting on like adults.
I think she's happy...
655
00:45:25,708 --> 00:45:29,138
...and looks forward to growth
in this rich intellectual environment.
656
00:45:29,311 --> 00:45:31,011
- I don't like the sound of this.
- No.
657
00:45:31,180 --> 00:45:33,410
And that roommate sounds like
a bad influence.
658
00:45:33,582 --> 00:45:35,882
She certainly sounds uninhibited.
659
00:45:36,051 --> 00:45:37,951
I wonder if she likes intelligent boys.
660
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,890
Trent Preston is gonna mindfuck her
into thinking she's too good for me.
661
00:45:42,057 --> 00:45:46,187
Then he's probably going to fuck her
in more literal ways.
662
00:45:47,596 --> 00:45:49,146
I've gotta get down there.
663
00:45:49,331 --> 00:45:51,461
I could accompany you
and meet this Taggarty.
664
00:45:51,633 --> 00:45:54,233
Okay.
How are we gonna get down there?
665
00:45:54,403 --> 00:45:57,573
- We could use my grandmother's car.
- Will she let us have it?
666
00:45:57,740 --> 00:45:59,730
She's hooked up to
life-support equipment.
667
00:45:59,908 --> 00:46:01,568
Permission is not a salient issue.
668
00:46:01,744 --> 00:46:03,114
Vijay, that's great.
669
00:46:45,621 --> 00:46:48,951
Excuse me. Do you guys know
Sheeni Saunders?
670
00:46:50,959 --> 00:46:52,689
Very helpful.
671
00:46:56,064 --> 00:46:58,794
Excuse me.
Do you guys know Sheeni Saunders?
672
00:46:59,168 --> 00:47:00,928
Are you fucking kidding me?
673
00:47:02,371 --> 00:47:04,001
- Do you see her?
- I'm afraid not.
674
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:06,500
Do you guys know Sheeni Saunders?
675
00:47:06,675 --> 00:47:09,035
Sheeni Saunders.
Do you speak English?
676
00:47:09,211 --> 00:47:10,771
Do you speak English?
677
00:47:10,946 --> 00:47:13,176
You don't speak English? Liar.
678
00:47:13,348 --> 00:47:14,818
Bullshit.
679
00:47:15,017 --> 00:47:16,037
Speak English to me.
680
00:47:16,485 --> 00:47:18,645
Nobody speaks English?
This is America.
681
00:47:18,821 --> 00:47:21,021
- You fucking kidding me?
- Nick?
682
00:47:21,990 --> 00:47:23,320
Sheeni.
683
00:47:23,492 --> 00:47:25,822
Albert.
684
00:47:26,128 --> 00:47:28,058
- Hello.
- Hi.
685
00:47:34,503 --> 00:47:38,103
I can't believe you came all this way.
And with Albert.
686
00:47:38,273 --> 00:47:40,573
I had to see you, Sheeni.
687
00:47:40,742 --> 00:47:42,332
I can't stop thinking about you.
688
00:47:42,511 --> 00:47:44,171
That's sweet.
689
00:47:45,180 --> 00:47:47,940
And Albert won't stop
talking about you.
690
00:47:48,684 --> 00:47:51,524
Do you find your classes
stimulating?
691
00:47:52,187 --> 00:47:54,117
A few of them are all right.
692
00:47:54,323 --> 00:47:57,293
At the moment I'm doing a historical
analysis on the Ramayana.
693
00:47:58,026 --> 00:47:59,786
Ah, yes.
694
00:48:02,030 --> 00:48:05,490
Blow, oh wind
To where my loved one is
695
00:48:06,702 --> 00:48:08,432
Touch him
696
00:48:08,737 --> 00:48:12,327
And come touch me soon
697
00:48:16,211 --> 00:48:19,771
You two boys shouldn't sleep in
your car tonight. It might not be safe.
698
00:48:19,948 --> 00:48:22,038
We could sneak you in
after lights out.
699
00:48:22,217 --> 00:48:24,407
- Sounds great.
- I'm in.
700
00:48:24,987 --> 00:48:30,147
Madame, I am suffering from
agonizing female troubles.
701
00:48:35,097 --> 00:48:36,557
There's your competition.
702
00:49:56,411 --> 00:49:59,571
You think that Trent fellow
would sleep on the floor?
703
00:50:11,226 --> 00:50:13,656
- Hey.
- Hey.
704
00:50:19,001 --> 00:50:20,731
I'm sorry, sweetie...
705
00:50:20,902 --> 00:50:23,302
...but not with other people
in the room.
706
00:50:29,311 --> 00:50:30,641
Okay.
707
00:50:36,418 --> 00:50:38,778
- Good night.
- Night.
708
00:51:09,885 --> 00:51:11,375
Who are you?
709
00:51:11,553 --> 00:51:14,583
I'm Sheeni's friend Nick.
I'm sorry to have disturbed you.
710
00:51:14,756 --> 00:51:17,276
It's okay. You don't have to go.
711
00:51:19,027 --> 00:51:22,657
So are you Sheeni's boyfriend
or something?
712
00:51:22,831 --> 00:51:24,491
Yeah.
713
00:51:25,100 --> 00:51:27,260
And you're spending the night?
714
00:51:27,436 --> 00:51:28,696
Where's Taggarty?
715
00:51:28,870 --> 00:51:31,810
Sleeping. A friend and I
are just camping out on the floor.
716
00:51:32,407 --> 00:51:35,097
I get it. A slumber party.
717
00:51:37,179 --> 00:51:38,979
I'm Bernice.
718
00:51:39,281 --> 00:51:41,751
Bernice Lynch. Not that you asked.
719
00:51:41,917 --> 00:51:44,817
Bernice Lynch,
that's a very pretty name.
720
00:51:45,554 --> 00:51:49,154
I think that my friend Trent Preston
might have mentioned you.
721
00:51:49,324 --> 00:51:53,784
Yeah, Bernice Lynch. But he said that
you were frumpy and unpresentable.
722
00:51:53,962 --> 00:51:56,992
Now that I've met you,
I can see that Trent is a lying bastard.
723
00:51:57,165 --> 00:52:00,785
I shouldn't be his friend if he goes
around calling you trashy-looking.
724
00:52:00,969 --> 00:52:02,459
What kind of person does that?
725
00:52:02,637 --> 00:52:05,107
But, you know,
he's been very sensitive and touchy...
726
00:52:05,273 --> 00:52:07,303
...ever since he started doing steroids.
727
00:52:07,476 --> 00:52:10,166
- Trent does steroids?
- He does a lot of steroids.
728
00:52:10,345 --> 00:52:13,105
He says it's to ensure that
he becomes the best windsurfer.
729
00:52:13,281 --> 00:52:16,271
He figures since he can't write poetry,
he has to plagiarize...
730
00:52:16,451 --> 00:52:19,391
You mean all of his poetry is stolen?
731
00:52:19,821 --> 00:52:23,621
Of course. It's all classic Bobby Frost.
Every word.
732
00:52:23,792 --> 00:52:26,692
Trent and Sheeni can go to hell.
733
00:52:53,054 --> 00:52:55,684
- Hey.
- Hi.
734
00:52:58,093 --> 00:53:00,793
Hey, it's a bit cold on the floor.
735
00:53:00,962 --> 00:53:02,452
Is it?
736
00:53:03,098 --> 00:53:06,658
Yeah. Do you think maybe I could
cuddle next to you?
737
00:53:09,704 --> 00:53:11,544
The whole night?
738
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:13,910
Yeah.
739
00:53:16,211 --> 00:53:18,511
Yeah, I guess that would be okay.
740
00:53:19,381 --> 00:53:21,821
Or we could do more than just cuddle.
741
00:53:23,618 --> 00:53:24,708
Nick.
742
00:53:24,886 --> 00:53:27,506
I love it when you say my name.
743
00:53:27,689 --> 00:53:29,589
Why don't you pull down
these blankets...
744
00:53:29,758 --> 00:53:31,848
...and show me
what you're hiding under there?
745
00:53:32,027 --> 00:53:34,187
Is that what you want me to do?
746
00:53:35,096 --> 00:53:38,896
- Say yes.
- That is exactly what I want you to do.
747
00:53:39,067 --> 00:53:41,997
And then I wanna
tickle your belly button...
748
00:53:42,170 --> 00:53:44,160
...from the inside.
749
00:53:45,373 --> 00:53:47,503
Nick, you're being so bad.
750
00:53:47,676 --> 00:53:51,536
Not half as bad as the nasty things
I wanna do right now with my tongue.
751
00:53:53,481 --> 00:53:55,381
I'm gonna wrap your legs
around my head...
752
00:53:55,617 --> 00:53:57,947
...and wear you like the crown
that you are.
753
00:53:59,087 --> 00:54:01,077
If that's okay with you.
754
00:54:08,296 --> 00:54:10,126
My God,
what's gotten into you tonight?
755
00:54:10,298 --> 00:54:12,598
I don't know, but let's go with it.
756
00:54:38,426 --> 00:54:39,946
Nick!
757
00:54:40,829 --> 00:54:42,319
Nick. You have to take Albert.
758
00:55:09,024 --> 00:55:12,394
God, we were so close. Fuck.
759
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:14,550
How was it, Vijay?
760
00:55:14,729 --> 00:55:15,989
It was magnificent.
761
00:55:16,164 --> 00:55:17,964
I fear it could be terribly addicting.
762
00:55:18,133 --> 00:55:21,573
This night has ignited in me
a lust of disturbing insatiability.
763
00:55:21,736 --> 00:55:23,026
Yeah, well, congratulations.
764
00:55:23,204 --> 00:55:25,644
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
765
00:55:25,807 --> 00:55:27,397
Fuck. Fuck.
766
00:55:28,910 --> 00:55:30,740
Fuck.
767
00:55:30,912 --> 00:55:33,212
Fuck. Fuck.
768
00:55:36,651 --> 00:55:38,211
Fuck.
769
00:55:42,357 --> 00:55:43,477
Hello?
770
00:55:43,658 --> 00:55:45,318
Mr. Ferguson, it's Nick.
771
00:55:45,493 --> 00:55:47,553
Oh, Nick boy. How are you, son?
772
00:55:47,729 --> 00:55:48,989
Not so good, Mr. Ferguson.
773
00:55:49,164 --> 00:55:51,664
I'm attempting to smuggle
a young illegal immigrant...
774
00:55:51,833 --> 00:55:54,803
...who's fleeing political oppression
on the subcontinent...
775
00:55:54,969 --> 00:55:57,129
...but we've become stranded
in our attempts...
776
00:55:57,305 --> 00:56:00,465
...and now we face not being able
to get to the sanctuary at all.
777
00:56:00,642 --> 00:56:02,442
Oh, dear, the poor lad.
778
00:56:02,610 --> 00:56:06,050
Yeah, it's breaking my heart.
He's got the saddest look on his face.
779
00:56:08,950 --> 00:56:10,440
Those poor girls.
780
00:56:10,618 --> 00:56:13,988
They'll likely notify their parents,
perhaps even expel them.
781
00:56:15,523 --> 00:56:17,223
Expel them?
782
00:56:17,792 --> 00:56:19,422
Oh, my God, you're right.
783
00:56:19,594 --> 00:56:21,394
They'll be expelled.
784
00:56:22,230 --> 00:56:24,960
Sheeni will have to
come back to Ukiah.
785
00:56:25,433 --> 00:56:28,833
Bernice, you sweet angel
of the lavatory.
786
00:56:29,471 --> 00:56:31,201
Come on.
787
00:56:34,642 --> 00:56:35,972
Mr. Ferguson.
788
00:56:38,113 --> 00:56:39,603
Good heavens.
789
00:56:39,781 --> 00:56:42,611
You boys must be freezing.
790
00:56:43,451 --> 00:56:46,181
And this must be the little soldier.
791
00:56:50,358 --> 00:56:51,758
Welcome.
792
00:56:53,194 --> 00:56:54,964
What's happened to your clothes,
son?
793
00:56:58,833 --> 00:57:00,963
INS took them.
794
00:57:01,136 --> 00:57:02,496
Damn them.
795
00:57:02,670 --> 00:57:06,700
When I was arriving by the customs,
sir. It was so terrible.
796
00:57:06,875 --> 00:57:09,895
They told me I was even lucky
to keep my knickers.
797
00:57:11,513 --> 00:57:13,413
Well, that nightmare is over.
798
00:57:14,983 --> 00:57:18,113
And why don't you have
any clothes on, Nick?
799
00:57:20,155 --> 00:57:22,115
Solidarity.
800
00:57:25,860 --> 00:57:28,330
Thanks for getting us, Mr. Ferguson.
801
00:57:29,597 --> 00:57:31,587
So this safe house is in Ukiah?
802
00:57:31,766 --> 00:57:32,986
That's right.
803
00:57:33,168 --> 00:57:35,028
You're certain
they'll take care of him?
804
00:57:35,203 --> 00:57:38,233
Oh, yeah. They'll treat him
as if he were their own.
805
00:57:43,244 --> 00:57:47,084
After we dropped Vijay off, I asked
Mr. Ferguson to spend the night.
806
00:57:47,248 --> 00:57:49,338
It would give Dad
a chance to reciprocate...
807
00:57:49,517 --> 00:57:52,207
...for all the nights he spent on
Mr. Ferguson's couch...
808
00:57:52,387 --> 00:57:55,407
...before he and Mom
finally tossed in the towel.
809
00:57:55,590 --> 00:57:59,030
Mr. Ferguson agreed not to tell Dad
about the refugee.
810
00:57:59,194 --> 00:58:02,324
He understands that sometimes
you have to lie for a greater cause.
811
00:58:02,497 --> 00:58:05,467
You know what, you are a tight-assed,
critical, sexist drunk.
812
00:58:05,633 --> 00:58:08,533
Hey, honey, it doesn't bother me
if you wanna sleep alone.
813
00:58:08,703 --> 00:58:11,803
Well, does it bother you
that you're a boring selfish lover?
814
00:58:14,576 --> 00:58:17,806
I ran into Mr. Ferguson downtown.
Is it okay if he spends the night?
815
00:58:17,979 --> 00:58:20,239
What the hell are you doing
in your underwear?
816
00:58:25,687 --> 00:58:27,307
Hi, Nick.
817
00:58:32,026 --> 00:58:33,456
Want a hit?
818
00:58:33,962 --> 00:58:35,862
Sorry, do I know you?
819
00:58:36,898 --> 00:58:40,158
I'm Paul. Sheeni's older brother.
820
00:58:41,603 --> 00:58:43,303
Come on in.
821
00:59:02,357 --> 00:59:05,547
- How'd you know it was me, Paul?
- We've met.
822
00:59:06,294 --> 00:59:07,854
No we haven't.
823
00:59:08,630 --> 00:59:09,960
In a previous life.
824
00:59:14,235 --> 00:59:15,995
Nice fire.
825
00:59:17,972 --> 00:59:19,962
Did Sheeni tell you that was me?
826
00:59:20,141 --> 00:59:21,871
She didn't have to.
827
00:59:22,477 --> 00:59:25,137
Why?
Was I an arsonist in a previous life?
828
00:59:25,313 --> 00:59:26,713
No...
829
00:59:26,881 --> 00:59:28,871
...but Sheeni was.
830
00:59:42,096 --> 00:59:43,786
That's very good.
831
00:59:44,832 --> 00:59:47,132
I spoke with Taggarty on the phone
this morning.
832
00:59:47,302 --> 00:59:50,142
She requested I send a wallet-sized
photograph for her wall.
833
00:59:50,572 --> 00:59:52,702
- So did they get expelled?
- No.
834
00:59:52,874 --> 00:59:55,814
Taggarty was able to convince
the matron it was innocent.
835
00:59:55,977 --> 00:59:57,807
Innocent? Are you kidding me?
836
00:59:57,979 --> 01:00:01,239
I could have cut the sexual intercourse
in that room with a knife.
837
01:00:04,586 --> 01:00:07,016
Francois feels that a man
can only take so much...
838
01:00:07,188 --> 01:00:09,348
...before his dignity demands
he rise up...
839
01:00:09,524 --> 01:00:12,194
...against an absurd
and unjust universe.
840
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:14,950
I'm going to need a partner in crime.
841
01:00:15,463 --> 01:00:16,863
"Dear Bernice...
842
01:00:17,031 --> 01:00:19,401
...it was nice meeting you
in the bathroom.
843
01:00:19,567 --> 01:00:21,497
I hope your stomach has settled.
844
01:00:21,669 --> 01:00:24,099
I know you informed the matron
of our presence...
845
01:00:24,272 --> 01:00:26,472
...but I want you to know
I hold no grudge.
846
01:00:26,641 --> 01:00:29,511
You were still upset from hearing
all the horrible things...
847
01:00:29,677 --> 01:00:33,337
...Trent has been saying about you
and probably weren't yourself.
848
01:00:33,514 --> 01:00:35,714
I think Trent needs to be
taught a lesson...
849
01:00:35,883 --> 01:00:38,913
...for calling you a fat cow
and an ugly whore.
850
01:00:39,087 --> 01:00:42,607
I suggest you take revenge by
getting Sheeni kicked out of school.
851
01:00:42,790 --> 01:00:46,160
Everyone knows it would crush Trent
if she were sent away.
852
01:00:46,327 --> 01:00:49,297
How to get her kicked out of school,
you may ask?
853
01:00:49,564 --> 01:00:52,734
I have included a number of
sleeping pills with this note.
854
01:00:52,900 --> 01:00:56,800
You must introduce one into her
breakfast beverage each morning.
855
01:00:56,971 --> 01:01:00,741
She may be intelligent and beautiful,
but is not likely to pass her courses...
856
01:01:00,908 --> 01:01:03,568
...if she is falling asleep in class.
857
01:01:03,745 --> 01:01:06,435
Since meeting you,
I realize my interest in Sheeni...
858
01:01:06,614 --> 01:01:09,174
...was merely
an adolescent infatuation.
859
01:01:09,350 --> 01:01:12,180
You seem like a much more
genuine person.
860
01:01:12,353 --> 01:01:14,953
Do you suppose there is any truth
to the rumors...
861
01:01:15,123 --> 01:01:18,323
...that Trent lost his virginity
to his first cousin?
862
01:01:18,493 --> 01:01:22,123
Perhaps you should ask around
and see if anyone else heard that.
863
01:01:22,296 --> 01:01:25,696
Be strong, Bernice. Take courage.
864
01:01:25,867 --> 01:01:29,437
Affectionately yours, Nick Twisp."
865
01:01:39,247 --> 01:01:40,337
Hi, folks.
866
01:01:41,215 --> 01:01:42,235
Hi, Nick.
867
01:01:44,385 --> 01:01:46,715
I didn't realize
you two knew each other.
868
01:01:46,888 --> 01:01:49,758
We met the other day
and got to talking...
869
01:01:49,924 --> 01:01:51,864
...and realized we both know you.
870
01:01:52,026 --> 01:01:54,956
Isn't life funny?
Paul, don't you think?
871
01:01:55,930 --> 01:01:58,130
Only slightly.
872
01:01:58,299 --> 01:02:00,559
We saved you some mushrooms,
Nick.
873
01:02:00,735 --> 01:02:02,595
It's gonna change your life.
874
01:02:02,770 --> 01:02:05,500
Yeah, they're pretty powerful,
so only take two.
875
01:02:48,382 --> 01:02:50,042
Have fun.
876
01:04:18,172 --> 01:04:20,072
Lacey.
877
01:04:20,675 --> 01:04:22,505
What in fuck are you people doing?
878
01:04:23,277 --> 01:04:26,007
Nick, what the fuck is going on?
879
01:04:26,180 --> 01:04:29,270
Okay, George. Just calm down now.
880
01:04:29,450 --> 01:04:30,940
Who the...? What...?
881
01:04:31,118 --> 01:04:33,608
Calm down before the neighbors
call the sheriff.
882
01:04:36,257 --> 01:04:37,747
Okay, Lacey, come on.
883
01:04:41,729 --> 01:04:43,589
Okay. You can get up? Yeah.
884
01:04:43,764 --> 01:04:45,934
Get your hands off me,
you fuck.
885
01:04:46,100 --> 01:04:49,370
- Easy, George.
- Fuck.
886
01:04:50,104 --> 01:04:51,304
Fuck.
887
01:04:51,472 --> 01:04:53,572
I apologize.
888
01:05:00,348 --> 01:05:01,938
Bye, guys.
889
01:05:03,384 --> 01:05:05,354
Bye, Nicky.
890
01:05:05,953 --> 01:05:08,623
You know, Sheeni's coming home
for Thanksgiving dinner.
891
01:05:08,789 --> 01:05:10,619
You should be there.
892
01:05:10,791 --> 01:05:12,731
But, Paul, your parents despise me.
893
01:05:13,661 --> 01:05:16,531
Dinner's at 2. Hope you like turkey.
894
01:05:16,697 --> 01:05:17,957
I love it.
895
01:05:31,445 --> 01:05:33,275
- Hello?
- Nick.
896
01:05:33,447 --> 01:05:35,237
- Hi, Mom. What's up?
- How are you?
897
01:05:35,416 --> 01:05:36,606
I'm fine, Mom.
898
01:05:36,784 --> 01:05:38,844
Lance and I are through.
899
01:05:39,020 --> 01:05:40,850
He was being very rude to me.
900
01:05:41,022 --> 01:05:43,422
And at my age,
I don't have to stand for that.
901
01:05:43,591 --> 01:05:44,991
That's good to hear, Mom.
902
01:05:45,159 --> 01:05:47,529
Maybe you should
try and be single for a while.
903
01:05:47,695 --> 01:05:49,985
Romances don't seem to be
your calling in life.
904
01:05:50,765 --> 01:05:52,815
Listen, Nicky,
when Lance stormed out...
905
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,160
...he said he was through
covering for you.
906
01:05:55,336 --> 01:05:57,896
The Berkeley police
know that you set that fire...
907
01:05:58,072 --> 01:05:59,872
...and Lance told them
where you are.
908
01:06:00,975 --> 01:06:03,205
Nicky, they're coming to arrest you.
909
01:06:05,780 --> 01:06:08,750
Okay, Mom. Thanks for calling.
Happy Thanksgiving.
910
01:06:15,756 --> 01:06:19,086
You're still going over there?
We need to get out town.
911
01:06:19,260 --> 01:06:21,290
What about Sheeni?
912
01:06:21,462 --> 01:06:22,522
Think.
913
01:06:22,697 --> 01:06:25,687
Is this bitch worth going to jail for?
914
01:06:47,355 --> 01:06:48,445
- Oh, hi, Nick.
- Hi, Paul.
915
01:06:48,622 --> 01:06:50,182
Right on time. Come on in.
916
01:06:50,358 --> 01:06:52,258
I brought some maple bars
for dessert.
917
01:06:52,426 --> 01:06:54,016
- Fantastic.
- They're really good.
918
01:06:54,195 --> 01:06:56,485
- They smell good.
- Hello.
919
01:06:56,664 --> 01:06:59,634
- Happy Thanksgiving, Nicky.
- Oh, hey, Lacey.
920
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:01,130
I brought some maple bars.
921
01:07:01,302 --> 01:07:02,892
Oh, thank you. I'll set them out.
922
01:07:03,070 --> 01:07:06,600
Mr. And Mrs. Saunders,
you remember Nick, don't you?
923
01:07:09,744 --> 01:07:11,144
Hi.
924
01:07:14,582 --> 01:07:17,552
Paul served them
an appetizer earlier.
925
01:07:17,785 --> 01:07:19,805
Stuffed mushrooms.
926
01:07:26,961 --> 01:07:28,261
Hey.
927
01:07:29,530 --> 01:07:30,930
Nick.
928
01:07:31,098 --> 01:07:32,588
Sheeni.
929
01:07:33,701 --> 01:07:37,001
What's wrong? What's wrong?
930
01:07:37,171 --> 01:07:38,641
What?
931
01:07:40,374 --> 01:07:42,644
I was expelled.
932
01:07:44,045 --> 01:07:47,135
What? Why?
933
01:07:48,549 --> 01:07:50,739
For falling asleep in class.
934
01:07:50,918 --> 01:07:52,778
For my grades.
935
01:07:52,953 --> 01:07:57,053
I'm stuck back here with my parents
in this horrible trailer.
936
01:07:57,224 --> 01:08:00,524
My brother's lost his mind.
He's drugged everyone.
937
01:08:02,797 --> 01:08:05,727
- Let's get out of here.
- What?
938
01:08:06,934 --> 01:08:09,064
Let's run away together.
939
01:08:10,171 --> 01:08:13,771
The police are after me.
They know that I started the fire.
940
01:08:13,941 --> 01:08:17,341
But we could be outlaws together,
just like we planned.
941
01:08:20,681 --> 01:08:24,241
- I have to think.
- Sheeni. Dinner's ready.
942
01:08:30,691 --> 01:08:33,421
- Everything's delicious.
- Paul prepared the entire meal.
943
01:08:34,028 --> 01:08:38,658
He just loves all the traditional
Thanksgiving foods.
944
01:08:45,806 --> 01:08:49,296
Well, I hope it's the first of many
such occasions for myself.
945
01:08:53,247 --> 01:08:56,217
- I'll get it.
- Is someone here?
946
01:09:01,155 --> 01:09:02,945
- Trent.
- Happy Thanksgiving, sweetie.
947
01:09:03,124 --> 01:09:05,124
- What are you doing here?
- Can I come in?
948
01:09:05,292 --> 01:09:06,692
Of course.
949
01:09:08,629 --> 01:09:09,859
Hello, everyone.
950
01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:14,960
Trent, this is Lacey, Paul's friend.
951
01:09:15,136 --> 01:09:18,256
Yes, we've met before
at my father's office.
952
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:20,369
- Yes.
- You're looking wonderful, Lacey.
953
01:09:20,541 --> 01:09:22,531
Oh, thank you.
954
01:09:22,710 --> 01:09:24,110
- Happy Thanksgiving.
- You too.
955
01:09:24,278 --> 01:09:26,038
It's great to see you.
956
01:09:26,213 --> 01:09:27,873
And this is Nick.
957
01:09:29,817 --> 01:09:31,217
Hello, Nick.
958
01:09:31,385 --> 01:09:32,935
Hello, Trent.
959
01:09:33,120 --> 01:09:34,550
Have a seat, Trent.
960
01:09:34,722 --> 01:09:36,922
I'm sorry, Sheeni, but I can't.
961
01:09:37,091 --> 01:09:39,031
In fact, I have a bit of bad news.
962
01:09:39,193 --> 01:09:40,353
What is it?
963
01:09:40,528 --> 01:09:44,758
I searched the room of Bernice Lynch
thoroughly from top to bottom.
964
01:09:45,699 --> 01:09:48,529
Did you obtain proper authorization
from school officials?
965
01:09:48,702 --> 01:09:51,602
No, Nick.
I acted on my own initiative.
966
01:09:51,772 --> 01:09:54,902
I was curious as to why
a girl as sweet as Bernice...
967
01:09:55,075 --> 01:09:57,405
...would color me
in such an unflattering light.
968
01:09:57,578 --> 01:10:00,008
In Bernice's closet, I found...
969
01:10:00,181 --> 01:10:02,051
...this letter.
970
01:10:05,619 --> 01:10:09,279
In the letter, the writer expresses
a strong affection for Bernice...
971
01:10:09,456 --> 01:10:12,516
...and instructs her to begin a program
of sedating Sheeni...
972
01:10:12,693 --> 01:10:15,793
...with drugs that he himself
supplied.
973
01:10:15,963 --> 01:10:19,093
Nicky, you didn't.
You could have killed me.
974
01:10:19,266 --> 01:10:21,596
- Oh, Nicky.
- Bad break, Nick.
975
01:10:22,203 --> 01:10:24,693
- Who died?
- No one yet, Mrs. Saunders.
976
01:10:24,872 --> 01:10:27,642
- Arrest him.
- I can't arrest him.
977
01:10:27,808 --> 01:10:31,608
I have called the Santa Cruz police.
They're on their way here right now.
978
01:10:33,247 --> 01:10:35,407
Well, I'll be leaving.
979
01:10:36,083 --> 01:10:37,683
Please continue without me.
980
01:10:43,924 --> 01:10:45,594
Nick.
981
01:10:45,759 --> 01:10:47,589
I would advise you to remain here...
982
01:10:47,761 --> 01:10:51,031
...and face the consequences
of your actions like a man.
983
01:10:52,366 --> 01:10:55,696
Well, thank you
for that unsolicited counsel, Trent.
984
01:10:56,036 --> 01:10:58,056
And please do drop dead.
985
01:11:03,410 --> 01:11:04,840
Goodbye, Sheeni.
986
01:12:52,052 --> 01:12:55,512
I need your help. We need to hurry.
We need to get out of here, okay?
987
01:12:55,689 --> 01:12:58,589
- We need to leave.
- Nick, where the hell have you been?
988
01:12:58,759 --> 01:13:00,519
The cops were looking for you.
989
01:13:00,694 --> 01:13:02,964
They barged in,
found my illegal satellite dish...
990
01:13:03,130 --> 01:13:06,530
We need to go right now.
I need you to put me up in a motel.
991
01:13:06,700 --> 01:13:08,460
Are you fucking crazy?
992
01:13:08,635 --> 01:13:11,065
Do you expect me to let you
get away with all this?
993
01:13:11,238 --> 01:13:12,968
That's it. I'm calling the cops.
994
01:13:13,140 --> 01:13:15,630
Dad, you're gonna send
your only son to prison?
995
01:13:15,809 --> 01:13:19,249
Hey, I don't need a lecture
from a fucking arsonist.
996
01:13:19,413 --> 01:13:21,813
At least give me your car
so I can get out of here.
997
01:13:21,982 --> 01:13:25,322
If you think I'm gonna give you my car
you got another thing coming.
998
01:13:27,721 --> 01:13:28,951
Dad!
999
01:13:29,123 --> 01:13:31,463
You're not a little kid anymore.
1000
01:13:32,259 --> 01:13:34,249
You gotta face the music, Nick.
1001
01:13:34,428 --> 01:13:35,898
Dad.
1002
01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:48,270
Nick.
1003
01:13:51,245 --> 01:13:52,505
Open this door, Nick.
1004
01:13:52,679 --> 01:13:55,239
I'm warning you, don't you do this.
1005
01:13:56,850 --> 01:13:58,280
Nick.
1006
01:13:58,519 --> 01:14:01,489
Open this door. You open this...
1007
01:14:03,390 --> 01:14:04,520
Nick, get back here.
1008
01:14:04,691 --> 01:14:06,851
You stop this car right now,
I'm warning you.
1009
01:14:07,027 --> 01:14:09,997
You're in trouble!
1010
01:14:33,987 --> 01:14:36,107
We stopping to admire the scenery
or something?
1011
01:14:36,290 --> 01:14:39,230
- I don't want to leave without Sheeni.
- Cut the shit.
1012
01:14:39,393 --> 01:14:42,023
I can live as a woman.
I can change my name to Carlotta.
1013
01:14:42,196 --> 01:14:43,956
Why don't you start the fucking car?
1014
01:14:44,131 --> 01:14:47,831
I can't leave with her hating me.
I have to go back.
1015
01:14:48,001 --> 01:14:50,441
I have to tell her that everything I did
was for her.
1016
01:14:50,604 --> 01:14:52,504
Let me paint you
a little picture, Nick.
1017
01:14:52,673 --> 01:14:56,013
You go back, they bust you,
you go to jail.
1018
01:14:56,176 --> 01:14:58,666
Sheeni goes on with her life.
1019
01:14:58,846 --> 01:15:00,466
Fuck Sheeni.
1020
01:15:15,262 --> 01:15:16,322
All right.
1021
01:15:16,497 --> 01:15:19,127
I'm gonna help you
get back to your lady.
1022
01:15:19,800 --> 01:15:21,930
But you better get laid this time.
1023
01:15:22,102 --> 01:15:25,872
If you end up going to jail a virgin,
I won't be sticking around.
1024
01:15:26,039 --> 01:15:28,839
Now give me 25 cents, Carlotta.
1025
01:15:42,956 --> 01:15:46,076
- Officer Lance Westcott, please.
- One moment.
1026
01:15:47,794 --> 01:15:49,094
Officer Westcott.
1027
01:15:49,263 --> 01:15:50,823
Hey, asshole, it's me.
1028
01:15:50,998 --> 01:15:54,628
Nick. You little shit.
You know you're going to jail, right?
1029
01:15:54,801 --> 01:15:56,931
I'm calling to make it easy for you.
1030
01:15:57,104 --> 01:15:59,474
Hazel Park, one hour.
Round up your friends.
1031
01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:02,200
I'm turning myself in. Fuck you.
1032
01:16:03,844 --> 01:16:06,144
Holy shit, you've lost your mind.
1033
01:16:09,616 --> 01:16:10,876
Wait.
1034
01:18:22,249 --> 01:18:26,709
- patience is beginning to wear thin
and they understand why.
1035
01:18:26,887 --> 01:18:27,907
Terrence?
1036
01:18:28,088 --> 01:18:30,678
The measure goes before
the full state legislature...
1037
01:18:30,857 --> 01:18:32,617
...at the end of the current session.
1038
01:18:32,793 --> 01:18:34,123
Repeating our top story...
1039
01:18:34,294 --> 01:18:38,254
...a police source has identified
Nicholas Twisp as a suspect...
1040
01:18:38,432 --> 01:18:41,532
...in last September's massive fire
in downtown Berkeley.
1041
01:18:42,469 --> 01:18:46,299
We have an exclusive interview with
one of Twisp's former classmates.
1042
01:18:46,473 --> 01:18:49,413
I just hope that society
isn't too severe in judging Nicholas.
1043
01:18:49,576 --> 01:18:54,476
So often my generation is portrayed
as a juvenile and wasteful group.
1044
01:18:54,648 --> 01:18:56,208
He needs help.
1045
01:18:56,383 --> 01:18:58,783
And he's better off
in the hands of the authorities.
1046
01:18:58,952 --> 01:19:01,282
Twisp is 5'9", 135 pounds...
1047
01:19:01,455 --> 01:19:04,185
...with brown eyes, dirty-blond hair
and a pale complexion.
1048
01:19:04,357 --> 01:19:06,377
He was last seen
in the vicinity of Ukiah.
1049
01:19:07,828 --> 01:19:09,158
Who's that?
1050
01:19:11,498 --> 01:19:14,898
Hello, Mrs. Saunders. I'm Carlotta,
Sheeni's friend from school.
1051
01:19:15,068 --> 01:19:16,628
Oh, hello there.
1052
01:19:16,803 --> 01:19:20,503
I've come to memorize church hymns
with Sheeni for this Sunday's services.
1053
01:19:20,674 --> 01:19:22,644
Sheeni's coming to church?
1054
01:19:22,809 --> 01:19:24,799
That's my understanding, yeah.
1055
01:19:24,978 --> 01:19:27,608
Oh, well, please do come in.
1056
01:19:27,781 --> 01:19:30,311
Thank you. Thank you.
1057
01:19:30,484 --> 01:19:31,514
Sheeni?
1058
01:19:32,519 --> 01:19:34,919
Your friend Carlotta's here.
1059
01:19:35,088 --> 01:19:36,148
Phil, this is Carlotta.
1060
01:19:36,423 --> 01:19:40,423
She says that Sheeni's
coming to church with her on Sunday.
1061
01:19:40,594 --> 01:19:42,264
Well, nice to meet you, young lady.
1062
01:19:42,429 --> 01:19:44,859
Nice to meet you, Mr. Saunders.
1063
01:19:46,466 --> 01:19:48,156
Hello, Sheeni.
1064
01:19:49,202 --> 01:19:51,102
Hello, Carlotta.
1065
01:19:53,173 --> 01:19:54,903
May I come up?
1066
01:20:02,682 --> 01:20:04,622
You got me expelled.
1067
01:20:04,785 --> 01:20:06,475
I'm sorry, Sheeni.
1068
01:20:06,653 --> 01:20:09,493
Do you realize what life is like
for me here?
1069
01:20:09,656 --> 01:20:11,346
Do you have any idea?
1070
01:20:11,525 --> 01:20:14,355
Sheeni, I've been alone
my whole life.
1071
01:20:14,561 --> 01:20:16,531
I do know what it's like.
1072
01:20:19,466 --> 01:20:21,986
I burned down Berkeley for you.
1073
01:20:22,836 --> 01:20:24,956
I destroyed both of my parents' cars.
1074
01:20:27,073 --> 01:20:30,943
I've lied and manipulated
and had you sedated.
1075
01:20:31,578 --> 01:20:33,378
I did all that so that...
1076
01:20:33,547 --> 01:20:35,977
...we wouldn't have to be
alone anymore.
1077
01:20:45,392 --> 01:20:47,422
You're him, aren't you?
1078
01:20:47,594 --> 01:20:48,864
I'm him?
1079
01:20:49,029 --> 01:20:51,019
You're my Francois.
1080
01:20:51,631 --> 01:20:54,361
You're the one I've been looking for.
1081
01:21:00,574 --> 01:21:01,844
Sheeni...
1082
01:21:02,008 --> 01:21:04,138
...I want what you want.
1083
01:21:04,311 --> 01:21:07,581
I wanna live all over the world
and have adventures.
1084
01:21:09,950 --> 01:21:11,780
But I'm not Francois.
1085
01:21:13,620 --> 01:21:17,110
I'm the guy who saw you
and fell in love with you...
1086
01:21:17,290 --> 01:21:19,520
...and would do anything for you.
1087
01:21:20,393 --> 01:21:22,223
That's who I am.
1088
01:21:46,353 --> 01:21:47,843
I don't wanna give you this...
1089
01:21:48,021 --> 01:21:50,751
...but I don't have anything else
to discard.
1090
01:21:56,263 --> 01:21:58,423
Thank you very much
and here's your change.
1091
01:21:58,598 --> 01:22:01,998
Always shop at...
1092
01:22:44,244 --> 01:22:48,374
It's a wonder that humankind has
constructed any kind of civilization...
1093
01:22:48,548 --> 01:22:51,638
...with this monumental distraction
at hand.
1094
01:22:58,191 --> 01:22:59,721
Trent.
1095
01:22:59,893 --> 01:23:02,793
- What are you doing here?
- I brought the police.
1096
01:23:02,963 --> 01:23:06,803
I wasn't fooled for one second
when I saw that ugly girl walking up.
1097
01:23:06,967 --> 01:23:10,127
- You were lurking outside my house?
- Of course.
1098
01:23:10,303 --> 01:23:12,003
Protecting you.
1099
01:23:12,605 --> 01:23:14,935
Trent, you're a very nice person...
1100
01:23:15,108 --> 01:23:17,738
...but I just don't have
those feelings for you.
1101
01:23:19,079 --> 01:23:21,669
- You're going to jail.
- I don't wanna hurt you.
1102
01:23:22,115 --> 01:23:25,915
I'll only ask once that you and your
adorable sweater step away from the...
1103
01:23:30,724 --> 01:23:32,194
- Son of a bitch.
- Let go of me.
1104
01:23:32,359 --> 01:23:35,349
- Come here, you little shit.
- Get off, you son of a bitch.
1105
01:23:35,528 --> 01:23:37,828
- Get off of me.
- Son of a bitch.
1106
01:23:37,998 --> 01:23:40,298
This is the arsonist.
1107
01:23:40,467 --> 01:23:42,557
All right.
1108
01:23:43,169 --> 01:23:45,429
Just relax.
1109
01:23:45,605 --> 01:23:47,565
It's over.
1110
01:23:47,741 --> 01:23:50,041
I might be away for a long time,
darling.
1111
01:23:50,210 --> 01:23:52,680
You're 16.
You're going to juvenile detention.
1112
01:23:52,846 --> 01:23:55,836
- You'll be out in three months.
- So you'll wait for me?
1113
01:23:57,851 --> 01:24:00,481
Where the hell else am I gonna go?
1114
01:24:27,781 --> 01:24:30,411
Well, I'm headed for a stint
in juvenile detention.
1115
01:24:30,583 --> 01:24:35,153
I can at least feel comforted by
the fact that I'm not going in a virgin.
1116
01:24:35,321 --> 01:24:36,481
And at lunchtime...
1117
01:24:36,656 --> 01:24:40,286
...when hardened offenders gather
to swap tales of teenage rebellion...
1118
01:24:40,460 --> 01:24:42,790
...I bet they'll find mine hard to top.
1119
01:24:48,435 --> 01:24:50,335
Sheeni says she'll wait for me...
1120
01:24:50,503 --> 01:24:53,803
...and that when I'm released,
we'll finally be together and free.
1121
01:24:53,973 --> 01:24:56,273
And I believe her.
1122
01:24:59,145 --> 01:25:02,595
I can feel in my heart that Sheeni
is in love with me.
1123
01:25:02,782 --> 01:25:05,722
Not with some fantasy lover
in a French romantic novel...
1124
01:25:05,885 --> 01:25:07,215
...but with me...
1125
01:25:07,387 --> 01:25:08,817
...Nick Twisp.
1126
01:25:09,856 --> 01:25:11,346
It's funny.
1127
01:25:11,524 --> 01:25:12,924
After all that...
1128
01:25:13,626 --> 01:25:15,956
...Nick Twisp was enough.
83984
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