Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:30,430
Aw!
2
00:01:43,483 --> 00:01:47,180
- Hey, what's going on?
- What are you doing in my car?
3
00:01:47,254 --> 00:01:49,688
Shit!
Where are we going?
4
00:01:49,756 --> 00:01:52,020
- How did you get in my car?
- What?
5
00:01:52,092 --> 00:01:54,458
You said I could sleep here.
6
00:01:54,528 --> 00:01:57,053
- You said it was comfortable too.
- No!
7
00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:59,496
- You didn't say that?
- No. Get out.
8
00:01:59,566 --> 00:02:03,366
- This is crap. Come on!
- Get out. I'm late.
9
00:02:03,437 --> 00:02:06,270
Man: Stop pulling.
You're hurting me.
10
00:02:06,339 --> 00:02:08,637
You know what you could do?
Eat it!
11
00:02:08,708 --> 00:02:10,938
- You lied, man.
- Yeah, yeah.
12
00:02:11,011 --> 00:02:13,275
- That's great.
- F you, pal.
13
00:02:13,346 --> 00:02:15,837
F you, buddy!
14
00:02:34,334 --> 00:02:35,961
Hey! Hey!
15
00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:38,061
I'm looking
for Cheerful Place.
16
00:02:42,476 --> 00:02:45,070
- What are you looking for?
- Cheerful Place.
17
00:02:45,145 --> 00:02:46,635
Isn't it right there?
18
00:02:51,518 --> 00:02:52,780
Jesus, no.
19
00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:55,151
Christ Almighty.
20
00:02:55,222 --> 00:02:56,484
Oh, fuck.
21
00:03:11,805 --> 00:03:15,468
Don't worry, kids.
Flappy's here!
22
00:03:17,611 --> 00:03:19,943
Hurry up,
we're gonna miss it.
23
00:03:20,013 --> 00:03:21,878
I'm trying!
24
00:03:24,918 --> 00:03:27,113
Man:
Get the hell off of me!
25
00:03:27,187 --> 00:03:30,179
There's no reason for all this.
We can handle this ourselves.
26
00:03:30,257 --> 00:03:32,418
Man:
It was an accident.
27
00:03:32,492 --> 00:03:34,323
It's a goddamn misunderstanding.
28
00:03:34,394 --> 00:03:38,262
Jill, would you tell them
we can handle this ourselves?
29
00:03:38,331 --> 00:03:41,391
- (baby crying)
- What the fuck are you looking at?
30
00:03:41,468 --> 00:03:44,528
It's your call.
You give me the say-so, he's gone.
31
00:03:44,604 --> 00:03:46,868
Excuse me!
Perhaps you didn't hear me.
32
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:50,671
Man: For Christ's sakes, Jill,
open up your mouth!
33
00:03:56,516 --> 00:03:58,984
- Could you take him away?
- What?!
34
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:02,249
- Officer: Get up!
- Just for a while, Travis.
35
00:04:02,322 --> 00:04:06,656
- Just until you cool down.
- You coerced her into saying that!
36
00:04:06,726 --> 00:04:10,093
- Simmer down, shitbag!
- Fine. Come on, you bitch!
37
00:04:10,163 --> 00:04:14,031
- Stop!
- Girl: Take him away already!
38
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,294
Officer: Come on.
39
00:04:19,472 --> 00:04:21,565
Officer:
Come on, get in there.
40
00:04:21,641 --> 00:04:23,404
Get in there.
41
00:04:23,476 --> 00:04:24,807
Mrs. Lee?
42
00:04:26,513 --> 00:04:29,175
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, no. Don't be.
43
00:04:29,249 --> 00:04:31,080
If you can wait,
I'll get you your money.
44
00:04:31,151 --> 00:04:33,949
- Is he giving you a hard time?
- Jill: No.
45
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:37,512
- Not at all.
- Call me if you need anything.
46
00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,753
- The money...
- No. Don't.
47
00:04:41,828 --> 00:04:45,662
I understand. You won't be too old
for a clown next year.
48
00:04:45,732 --> 00:04:48,530
- Will I, Mommy?
- No.
49
00:04:49,636 --> 00:04:52,400
There it is, then.
Same time next year, Mom?
50
00:04:52,472 --> 00:04:55,407
- Sure. Thank you, Mr...
- Flappy.
51
00:04:55,475 --> 00:04:57,636
It's the illusion.
It's for the kids.
52
00:04:59,312 --> 00:05:01,007
I almost forgot.
53
00:05:01,081 --> 00:05:03,015
They would have taken away
my clown license
54
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:04,744
if I'd let this one slip by.
55
00:05:04,818 --> 00:05:06,809
- You wouldn't rat on me, though?
- No.
56
00:05:06,886 --> 00:05:08,319
Here!
57
00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:12,089
And eat an extra
piece of cake for Flappy.
58
00:05:12,158 --> 00:05:14,422
You need it more than I do.
59
00:05:25,739 --> 00:05:29,300
- Twice in one day, loser!
- Fuck you, bastard!
60
00:05:46,793 --> 00:05:49,125
Free refill, please!
61
00:05:49,195 --> 00:05:51,288
Aren't you supposed
to be at a gig today?
62
00:05:51,364 --> 00:05:54,891
Well, it was canceled
at the zero hour.
63
00:05:54,968 --> 00:05:57,528
No wonder you are so damned testy.
What happened?
64
00:05:57,604 --> 00:06:00,539
The abridged version goes
something like this...
65
00:06:00,607 --> 00:06:02,700
will you cut it out?!
66
00:06:02,776 --> 00:06:05,540
Husband pounds wife.
Wife screams.
67
00:06:05,612 --> 00:06:08,479
Neighbors call cops.
Cops come, bust him.
68
00:06:08,548 --> 00:06:10,607
- The party's over.
- Raw deal.
69
00:06:10,684 --> 00:06:12,948
You got the cash, though?
70
00:06:13,019 --> 00:06:15,453
She didn't pay you?
Fuck that shit.
71
00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:17,615
Time is money,
spousal abuse or not.
72
00:06:17,691 --> 00:06:20,251
I'd be in small claims court,
if I were you.
73
00:06:20,326 --> 00:06:23,056
- Humanitarian to the last.
- Nevermind her.
74
00:06:23,129 --> 00:06:24,790
I almost forgot the big news.
75
00:06:24,864 --> 00:06:28,027
- My grandmother kicked me out.
- I've heard this before.
76
00:06:28,101 --> 00:06:29,591
She was pretty official
about it this time.
77
00:06:29,669 --> 00:06:33,298
Her lawyer sent me a letter saying
she doesn't want me around anymore
78
00:06:33,373 --> 00:06:37,002
because I don't pay bills
or get up before 12:00.
79
00:06:37,077 --> 00:06:39,170
- Nice.
- She can bite me anyway.
80
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:41,975
I'll be flying solo soon.
I got a job.
81
00:06:42,048 --> 00:06:43,140
Where?
82
00:06:43,216 --> 00:06:46,014
Tuott the Basehead hooked me up
with Suds 'N' Stuff over the weekend.
83
00:06:46,086 --> 00:06:48,611
Watch yourself
on that corporate ladder.
84
00:06:48,688 --> 00:06:51,418
Listen to this bull.
Is that your limo outside?
85
00:06:51,491 --> 00:06:53,322
Driving around
in that little shitbox.
86
00:06:53,393 --> 00:06:56,021
That shitbox totes
your ass to and fro.
87
00:06:56,096 --> 00:07:00,396
You walk around with empty pockets
like some poor-ass church mouse.
88
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:03,095
You know you need the extra cash.
Come work with me.
89
00:07:03,169 --> 00:07:05,399
- You get your own jumpsuit.
- No, thanks.
90
00:07:05,472 --> 00:07:07,906
That's how it starts.
Crappy job here, crappy job there,
91
00:07:07,974 --> 00:07:09,805
next thing you know,
you're 70 years old,
92
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:12,538
living on the dole
wondering where your life went,
93
00:07:12,612 --> 00:07:15,547
and your best friend comes
cable-ready with a remote.
94
00:07:15,615 --> 00:07:18,015
That's beneath even you.
95
00:07:19,085 --> 00:07:21,349
- What's up your ass?
- Nothing.
96
00:07:21,421 --> 00:07:23,013
Shine bumpers if you want.
97
00:07:23,089 --> 00:07:25,250
Nobody's stopping you.
I'm sure you'll do well.
98
00:07:25,325 --> 00:07:27,953
You're right. I should hinge
my future on dancing around
99
00:07:28,027 --> 00:07:31,758
like a mongoloid on a bad acid trip
for a bunch of spoiled dick-heads.
100
00:07:31,831 --> 00:07:34,197
- You think what I do is stupid?
- All I'm saying
101
00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:37,293
is your life expectations
as far as clowning is concerned
102
00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:40,271
are far-fetched, dare I say,
totally unrealistic.
103
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,468
It's what I want to do.
And I believe things will work out,
104
00:07:43,543 --> 00:07:47,240
and one day I'll make a good living
at it. Cliché, but humor me.
105
00:07:47,313 --> 00:07:49,338
How long did it take
to build Rome?
106
00:07:49,415 --> 00:07:52,145
Your problem is,
zero patience.
107
00:07:52,218 --> 00:07:56,211
I can see how the rise and fall
of Rome parallel your existence.
108
00:07:56,289 --> 00:07:57,449
You're barely surviving.
109
00:07:57,524 --> 00:07:59,287
The money you make...
sporadic at best.
110
00:07:59,359 --> 00:08:01,691
How much of your monthly take
goes for that nursing home?
111
00:08:01,761 --> 00:08:05,390
$200. But I only pay half,
'cause Uncle Sam picks up the rest.
112
00:08:05,465 --> 00:08:07,228
- How much do you make?
- It depends.
113
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:09,860
I usually bring in...
114
00:08:09,936 --> 00:08:12,803
- maybe $500-$600.
- So, in other words, four.
115
00:08:12,872 --> 00:08:15,238
How do you pay rent,
car insurance and eat
116
00:08:15,308 --> 00:08:17,037
on 200 or 300 bucks a month?
117
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:19,044
Mosier knocks
a couple of bucks off
118
00:08:19,112 --> 00:08:21,546
if I mow the lawn
or do some maintenance.
119
00:08:21,614 --> 00:08:25,448
Plus, to be honest, I don't exactly
pay insurance on that shitbox,
120
00:08:25,518 --> 00:08:27,008
as you so fondly referred to it.
121
00:08:27,086 --> 00:08:31,250
I'm in a quandary about
the resting home deal.
122
00:08:31,324 --> 00:08:33,315
Not for nothing, but your mom...
123
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:35,258
- she's a bitch.
- Hey!
124
00:08:35,328 --> 00:08:36,886
That's my mom!
125
00:08:36,963 --> 00:08:38,692
My mother had a hard life.
126
00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:40,562
Her mother died
when she was three,
127
00:08:40,633 --> 00:08:42,828
and her father expected her
to take on the wifely duties...
128
00:08:42,902 --> 00:08:45,632
- all of them.
- I've heard this before.
129
00:08:45,705 --> 00:08:48,503
Why should you atone
for his shortcomings?
130
00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:51,408
- Plus, you call her names all the time.
- I know.
131
00:08:51,477 --> 00:08:55,004
But she's still my mom.
And there's a difference between
132
00:08:55,081 --> 00:08:57,242
calling your mother a bitch
and someone else saying it.
133
00:08:57,317 --> 00:09:00,980
Sorry.
She's such a bitch.
134
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,168
- (beep)
- Recording: William, Sam Mosier.
135
00:09:16,236 --> 00:09:18,397
I don't want
to be a nut-biter,
136
00:09:18,471 --> 00:09:20,803
but I'll need
some money from you soon.
137
00:09:20,874 --> 00:09:23,138
There's just not
that much grass to mow.
138
00:09:23,209 --> 00:09:24,403
- (beep)
- Girl: Guess what,
139
00:09:24,477 --> 00:09:27,037
Mr. Flappy-the-Jerk-Off?
Your message sucks!
140
00:09:27,113 --> 00:09:29,377
- Girl: Clowns suck too.
- Girl #2: Tell him to eat shit.
141
00:09:31,284 --> 00:09:32,683
- (beep)
- Woman: Pick up the phone!
142
00:09:32,752 --> 00:09:34,185
I know you're there!
143
00:09:34,254 --> 00:09:36,586
I want to thank you
for being so goddamn worthless!
144
00:09:36,656 --> 00:09:38,988
They are asking me
for the money you owe!
145
00:09:39,058 --> 00:09:41,583
They want to know why
the rent hasn't been paid
146
00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:44,755
for this fucking cesspool
you've thrown me in!
147
00:09:44,831 --> 00:09:47,527
Try to understand this:
Bring the money today!
148
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,000
- Now!
- (beep)
149
00:09:50,069 --> 00:09:52,162
Machine:
You have no more messages.
150
00:09:54,474 --> 00:09:56,032
Do you mind?
151
00:09:56,109 --> 00:09:58,339
Rumor has it
that backseat's comfortable.
152
00:09:58,411 --> 00:10:00,003
- Get away!
- (both laugh)
153
00:10:00,079 --> 00:10:02,104
What is he, your boss?
154
00:10:02,181 --> 00:10:04,411
- Are you his bitch?
- No!
155
00:10:10,423 --> 00:10:12,584
PA: Who's ready for bingo?
156
00:10:12,659 --> 00:10:14,684
Are you ready for bingo?
157
00:10:14,761 --> 00:10:18,822
The fun starts at 7:00
in the cafeteria.
158
00:10:18,898 --> 00:10:21,423
Don't forget your markers.
159
00:10:38,651 --> 00:10:41,176
Excuse me, ladies.
160
00:10:41,254 --> 00:10:43,085
How rude.
161
00:10:51,731 --> 00:10:54,393
- Get I get you anything else?
- No, not unless
162
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:57,459
- you have a cure for my rheumatism.
- I wish.
163
00:11:03,009 --> 00:11:05,000
Will: Hi, Mom.
164
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:10,076
It's my nap time.
Why don't you follow suit,
165
00:11:10,149 --> 00:11:12,014
and make like that
irritating little bitch?
166
00:11:12,085 --> 00:11:14,246
What are you talking about?
I just got here.
167
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:18,814
I'm talking about you
being a source of embarrassment,
168
00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:20,688
a colossal disappointment!
169
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:24,856
I wish I'd had the courage to take
that trip down the back alley.
170
00:11:24,931 --> 00:11:27,331
Come on.
I paid up some of the bill,
171
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,994
so please,
can we have a nice visit?
172
00:11:30,069 --> 00:11:34,028
- Don't start with that.
- I am going to start.
173
00:11:34,107 --> 00:11:36,735
This room, if that's what
you want to call it,
174
00:11:36,809 --> 00:11:39,369
isn't provided
by some divine entity.
175
00:11:39,445 --> 00:11:42,346
I've had it up to here
with that bitch of a secretary,
176
00:11:42,415 --> 00:11:44,975
reminding me daily
that you're too stupid
177
00:11:45,051 --> 00:11:47,986
to remember that
I have to pay to live here.
178
00:11:48,054 --> 00:11:49,817
It's not
that I don't remember...
179
00:11:49,889 --> 00:11:53,484
Don't interrupt me. God damn it,
don't you dare contradict me!
180
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:55,823
You show me
the respect I deserve.
181
00:11:55,895 --> 00:11:57,123
If your father were alive,
182
00:11:57,196 --> 00:11:59,528
I'd have him slap you
in your snotty little mouth.
183
00:11:59,599 --> 00:12:01,590
- Here we go.
- What did you say?!
184
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:05,068
- How dare you? Get over here...
- Relax. I didn't mean it.
185
00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:08,198
- Get your ass over here!
- I won't let you hit me!
186
00:12:08,274 --> 00:12:10,742
Forget it, I'll leave
before that happens.
187
00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:15,914
Well, it wouldn't be
the first time, would it?
188
00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:18,348
That's always the way
it's been with you.
189
00:12:18,418 --> 00:12:20,784
Couldn't stand on your own two feet
to defend yourself,
190
00:12:20,853 --> 00:12:23,048
if your worthless
life depended on it.
191
00:12:23,122 --> 00:12:26,250
Run away, William.
It's your answer to everything.
192
00:12:27,427 --> 00:12:29,987
You don't have to stay!
193
00:12:31,064 --> 00:12:34,090
I know you don't want
to come to see me.
194
00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:36,135
Yes, I do.
195
00:12:36,202 --> 00:12:37,897
I like to come and see you.
196
00:12:37,970 --> 00:12:41,929
I just wish you'd relax a little
and not get so short-tempered.
197
00:12:43,009 --> 00:12:46,445
I get so lonely around here.
198
00:12:46,512 --> 00:12:48,810
Nobody talks to me.
199
00:12:49,882 --> 00:12:51,816
Nobody bothers with me at all.
200
00:12:51,884 --> 00:12:53,818
They have their own
little circles.
201
00:12:53,886 --> 00:12:55,854
They don't want
to know from anyone.
202
00:12:55,922 --> 00:12:58,686
- They think they're better than me.
- Come on, Mom.
203
00:12:58,758 --> 00:13:00,783
You know that's not true.
204
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:03,624
So, suddenly, you're
some kind of big man, huh?
205
00:13:03,696 --> 00:13:06,028
Not so big that you can
earn a decent living,
206
00:13:06,099 --> 00:13:07,828
let alone take care
of your own mother!
207
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:11,028
I am so happy that God showed grace
enough to take your father away,
208
00:13:13,973 --> 00:13:17,170
- The account is nearly paid up...
- You know what you are?
209
00:13:17,243 --> 00:13:20,041
- A whole lot of nothing!
- I'm trying...
210
00:13:20,113 --> 00:13:22,411
Trying won't get you
through life!
211
00:13:22,482 --> 00:13:24,677
Actions will get you through it.
212
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:26,581
I thought you'd have
learned that by now.
213
00:13:26,652 --> 00:13:29,086
- If your father...
- Enough about him!
214
00:13:29,155 --> 00:13:31,555
What do you have to canonize
that son of a bitch?!
215
00:13:31,624 --> 00:13:35,651
I know the way he was.
I know what you went through!
216
00:13:35,728 --> 00:13:39,164
I'm sick of listening
to how fucking great he was!
217
00:13:42,602 --> 00:13:44,593
I'm sorry.
218
00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:49,266
- I shouldn't have said that.
- Get out!
219
00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:51,810
It was out of line.
I apologize.
220
00:13:53,112 --> 00:13:55,876
I said, get the hell out!
221
00:13:55,948 --> 00:13:58,246
Oh God! Somebody...
222
00:13:58,317 --> 00:14:00,046
get him out of here!
223
00:14:00,119 --> 00:14:03,748
I can't stand to look at you.
Get the fuck out!
224
00:14:07,226 --> 00:14:09,694
Woman:
Don't let him get away.
225
00:14:09,795 --> 00:14:12,161
You and me, go round to round,
Jersey style.
226
00:14:12,231 --> 00:14:14,495
Take it on,
you smelly bitch.
227
00:14:16,169 --> 00:14:18,330
Hey, it's clowny!
228
00:14:18,404 --> 00:14:20,634
- Give me a dollar!
- Yeah, give him a dollar.
229
00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:23,766
Those boys giving you
some trouble, Willie?
230
00:14:23,843 --> 00:14:26,744
- Nothing I can't handle.
- Bunch of roughnecks.
231
00:14:26,812 --> 00:14:29,110
- Did you get my message?
- Yeah. I'm sorry.
232
00:14:29,182 --> 00:14:31,582
I lost a couple of jobs
this past week.
233
00:14:31,651 --> 00:14:35,815
Will, I need your help.
Somebody's stealing my utilities.
234
00:14:35,888 --> 00:14:38,880
- Oh yeah?
- Maybe you overheard something?
235
00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:41,756
No, I haven't.
But I'll let you know if I do.
236
00:14:43,095 --> 00:14:44,960
I know your word, Will.
237
00:15:25,137 --> 00:15:27,037
# I wish I was a fry cook #
238
00:15:27,106 --> 00:15:29,768
# Hurray, hurray. #
239
00:15:29,842 --> 00:15:32,936
"Parking attendants." No.
240
00:15:34,013 --> 00:15:37,676
"Recreational Center
counselor." No.
241
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:41,015
"Office manager."
Pff! Hell no.
242
00:15:41,087 --> 00:15:42,418
No.
243
00:15:42,488 --> 00:15:43,955
No.
244
00:15:44,023 --> 00:15:45,650
No.
245
00:15:45,725 --> 00:15:47,215
And no.
246
00:15:53,532 --> 00:15:55,966
"Let me watch you
fuck my wife"?!
247
00:15:56,035 --> 00:15:58,026
"Her, deliciously plump.
248
00:15:58,104 --> 00:16:00,664
You, big and Black
with huge set."
249
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:05,366
"You supply
the bathroom brownies,
250
00:16:05,444 --> 00:16:07,378
I sample them."
251
00:16:09,282 --> 00:16:12,274
"Why settle for less when you can
have three holes going?
252
00:16:12,351 --> 00:16:15,980
Call Katlyn for an unforgettable
bachelor party."
253
00:16:16,055 --> 00:16:18,580
Sick, sick people.
254
00:16:23,095 --> 00:16:24,585
Bachelor parties.
255
00:16:43,282 --> 00:16:46,308
What's the occasion?
This place is fucking posh.
256
00:16:46,385 --> 00:16:49,650
What took you so long?
Why is your hair wet?
257
00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:52,657
Because I took a shower.
Good thing I did.
258
00:16:52,725 --> 00:16:55,319
- Check this out.
- What's this?
259
00:16:55,394 --> 00:16:58,989
An epiphany. The single
greatest idea I've ever had.
260
00:17:02,234 --> 00:17:03,895
What do you want?
261
00:17:03,969 --> 00:17:06,403
- Hi...
- Order something.
262
00:17:06,472 --> 00:17:09,407
Oh. Could I have a burger...
charbroiled...
263
00:17:09,475 --> 00:17:11,875
with an order
of fries and a coke?
264
00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:20,047
- What are you looking at?
- Nothing.
265
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,349
Can I get a coffee? Black.
266
00:17:22,421 --> 00:17:23,911
I'm buying. Order something.
267
00:17:26,158 --> 00:17:27,489
Nah.
268
00:17:30,663 --> 00:17:32,290
What?
269
00:17:32,365 --> 00:17:33,992
- What's wrong?
- " You are invited.
270
00:17:34,066 --> 00:17:35,966
Come to my poop party"?
271
00:17:36,035 --> 00:17:38,026
You'll let people
take a dump on you?
272
00:17:38,104 --> 00:17:40,299
- What?
- You're sick.
273
00:17:40,373 --> 00:17:42,534
I thought I knew you, man.
274
00:17:42,608 --> 00:17:45,008
No. That's where
I got the idea from.
275
00:17:45,077 --> 00:17:48,376
- Nobody's gonna crap in your face?
- Of course not, you idiot.
276
00:17:48,447 --> 00:17:51,644
I changed my mind. Give me the same
as him, with two free refills.
277
00:17:51,717 --> 00:17:53,309
- Waitress: Too late.
- Quit screwing around and listen.
278
00:17:53,386 --> 00:17:56,753
Picture this.
It's the night before your wedding,
279
00:17:56,822 --> 00:18:00,087
and your friends have gotten together
to throw you a bachelor party.
280
00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:02,559
You expect some booze
and bawdy behavior,
281
00:18:02,628 --> 00:18:05,256
and of course,
the requisite buxom babe. Standard.
282
00:18:05,331 --> 00:18:07,856
This guy will eat
your boogers free, for nothing.
283
00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:12,063
That's where I come in.
The groom-to-be is expecting a bimbo
284
00:18:12,138 --> 00:18:14,766
with tits from here till Tuesday
and a gyrating lap dance.
285
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:19,334
Instead, it's a male clown with
fishnets and garters and a bustier,
286
00:18:28,621 --> 00:18:31,920
Did you eat crack for breakfast?
What's the matter with you?
287
00:18:31,991 --> 00:18:34,425
It's a joke. Get it?
288
00:18:34,493 --> 00:18:37,223
Instead of the stripper,
I show up to the party
289
00:18:37,296 --> 00:18:38,923
and shock the shit out
of the groom!
290
00:18:38,998 --> 00:18:41,193
You're confident
there's a calling for that?
291
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:43,861
No one will be ripping
my door off the hinges at first,
292
00:18:43,936 --> 00:18:46,302
but word of mouth advertising.
293
00:18:46,372 --> 00:18:48,772
I could develop
a cult following.
294
00:18:48,841 --> 00:18:51,776
Admit, you've never heard
anything like this before.
295
00:18:51,844 --> 00:18:54,904
- You got me there.
- Everyone except the groom-to-be
296
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:56,242
is in on the joke.
297
00:18:56,315 --> 00:18:58,909
I show up 20 minutes
before the real entertainment,
298
00:18:58,984 --> 00:19:02,215
put on a show, then take off.
It'll be funny!
299
00:19:02,288 --> 00:19:03,812
Will you still use
the name Flappy?
300
00:19:03,889 --> 00:19:06,824
- 'Cause that will cause confusion.
- What do you think?
301
00:19:06,892 --> 00:19:09,122
What's your stage name?
You need a moniker.
302
00:19:09,195 --> 00:19:11,390
You can help me out with that.
303
00:19:13,499 --> 00:19:18,027
I know. How about " Will,
the naked and retarded clown"?
304
00:19:18,103 --> 00:19:21,266
I won't be naked.
Think of something else.
305
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:24,366
Call a spade a spade.
What you're proposing is vulgar.
306
00:19:26,512 --> 00:19:28,002
Vulgar.
307
00:19:29,748 --> 00:19:32,216
It has sort of
a nice ring to it.
308
00:19:33,886 --> 00:19:37,219
- That might work, actually.
- Work it.
309
00:20:16,962 --> 00:20:19,157
37.
310
00:20:19,231 --> 00:20:22,564
Well, here goes something.
311
00:20:33,245 --> 00:20:35,008
Hello, boys!
312
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,945
Guess who!
313
00:20:43,155 --> 00:20:45,680
Oh. I'm sorry.
314
00:20:45,758 --> 00:20:48,784
- I must have the wrong place.
- Not if you're ready to get down.
315
00:20:50,429 --> 00:20:53,398
- Looks like you are.
- Man #2: I got him!
316
00:20:55,434 --> 00:20:58,267
You and my dad,
you're going to do the dog.
317
00:20:58,337 --> 00:21:01,067
Man #1: Frankie, back off!
He don't need to know that just yet.
318
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:02,937
You don't come near him
until I give the say so.
319
00:21:03,008 --> 00:21:05,738
This is my goddamn party!
I run the show.
320
00:21:05,811 --> 00:21:07,642
Get your pajamas on.
321
00:21:07,713 --> 00:21:08,702
Man #3: Whoa!
322
00:21:09,915 --> 00:21:13,373
I didn't get to do anything!
323
00:21:13,452 --> 00:21:15,545
You promised he'd be pretty.
324
00:21:15,621 --> 00:21:19,057
- He's fucking ugly.
- Close the lips, monkey balls!
325
00:21:19,124 --> 00:21:21,024
- He's Daddy's treat!
- Shut up, Frankie!
326
00:21:21,093 --> 00:21:23,687
- You're trying to kiss up...
- You're jealous, Gino,
327
00:21:23,762 --> 00:21:26,094
because Daddy let me hit the clown.
He likes me better!
328
00:21:26,165 --> 00:21:29,601
- He doesn't like you better.
- (voices overlap)
329
00:21:29,668 --> 00:21:32,933
Where do you think you're going?
This party ain't over.
330
00:21:33,005 --> 00:21:36,133
There's a shitload of fun to be had
before you call this a night.
331
00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:38,801
Will: Help me.
332
00:21:38,877 --> 00:21:42,176
Get that, Gino.
This ain't no spectator sport.
333
00:21:52,725 --> 00:21:54,955
- I can do that.
- Well, do it.
334
00:21:58,397 --> 00:22:00,922
Gino, show your brother
a couple of steps over there.
335
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,401
That boy has two left feet.
336
00:22:05,471 --> 00:22:07,371
Stop that kind of dancing.
337
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:25,513
- Why do you get to be the clown?
- Because I'm older.
338
00:22:25,591 --> 00:22:28,219
And I don't want
any more lip from you.
339
00:22:28,293 --> 00:22:33,356
- What is going on over there?
- He won't let me be the clown.
340
00:22:33,432 --> 00:22:37,334
I'm older.
I'm pretending I'm the clown.
341
00:22:37,403 --> 00:22:40,372
Frankie's Daddy's little boy.
That's all.
342
00:22:40,439 --> 00:22:43,533
Frankie, listen to your brother.
He is the boss.
343
00:22:43,609 --> 00:22:45,042
No!
344
00:22:45,110 --> 00:22:46,668
Uh-oh.
345
00:22:46,745 --> 00:22:50,203
What the fuck are you saying?
Shut the fuck up!
346
00:22:50,282 --> 00:22:53,308
- I'll beat your ass!
- If you motherfuckers can't get along,
347
00:22:53,385 --> 00:22:55,285
I am never bringing you
with me ever again.
348
00:22:55,354 --> 00:22:57,151
Is that what you want?
349
00:22:57,222 --> 00:22:58,849
- No.
- No.
350
00:22:58,924 --> 00:23:01,256
You know it's sweet.
351
00:23:01,326 --> 00:23:04,454
Do you want to miss out
on your chance to...
352
00:23:04,530 --> 00:23:06,589
Shut your mouths!
353
00:23:07,833 --> 00:23:10,358
I want you to watch him.
Can you do that?
354
00:23:10,436 --> 00:23:13,166
- I can.
- Dad, he's getting away.
355
00:23:13,238 --> 00:23:17,334
- Will somebody stop him?
- I could have stopped him.
356
00:23:27,453 --> 00:23:29,921
Save some for us.
357
00:23:29,988 --> 00:23:32,422
Dad: Where did you put
my dust pipe?
358
00:23:32,491 --> 00:23:35,790
- In the shitbag.
- Oh, the shitbag.
359
00:23:35,861 --> 00:23:38,352
I almost forgot
about the shitbag.
360
00:23:38,430 --> 00:23:41,627
Gino... get the camera.
361
00:23:41,700 --> 00:23:43,691
I want to make a record of this.
362
00:23:43,769 --> 00:23:46,897
If I'm not mistaken,
Mr. Fuckface here is...
363
00:23:46,972 --> 00:23:48,234
cherry.
364
00:23:51,944 --> 00:23:56,608
Gino: Daddy,
you want it on SP, LP or SLP?
365
00:23:56,682 --> 00:23:58,775
I don't give a fat rat's ass,
stupid bastard.
366
00:23:58,851 --> 00:24:01,046
- Just turn it on.
- It is on.
367
00:24:02,354 --> 00:24:05,346
Shut the fuck up.
I'm gonna start the show.
368
00:24:05,424 --> 00:24:09,383
What's your name?
I asked you a question, sweet ass.
369
00:24:11,497 --> 00:24:12,930
Vulgar.
370
00:24:12,998 --> 00:24:16,729
- Vulgar the Clown.
- Suck my daddy, swine fuck!
371
00:24:17,803 --> 00:24:20,465
Gino: Daddy!
He's ruining everything!
372
00:24:20,539 --> 00:24:23,736
Shut the fuck up, Gino!
You fucking pussy!
373
00:24:23,809 --> 00:24:25,777
Get your sphincter
out of my frame, asshole!
374
00:24:25,844 --> 00:24:27,675
Cut it out!
375
00:24:27,746 --> 00:24:30,306
I mean, your real name,
funny man!
376
00:24:30,382 --> 00:24:33,874
Stop laughing.
Set him back up, you cocks.
377
00:24:33,952 --> 00:24:36,386
We'll just take that part out.
378
00:24:36,455 --> 00:24:38,616
All right, asshole.
Same question.
379
00:24:38,690 --> 00:24:41,989
- What the fuck is your name?
- William.
380
00:24:42,060 --> 00:24:44,290
- Will: Why are you doing this?
- Okay, William.
381
00:24:44,363 --> 00:24:45,352
Willy.
Willy Billy.
382
00:24:45,430 --> 00:24:49,161
- What is it that you do?
- I'm a party clown for kids.
383
00:24:49,234 --> 00:24:51,134
No, you're not.
You're a cocksucker!
384
00:24:51,203 --> 00:24:52,727
You want me blowing it
down your throat.
385
00:24:52,805 --> 00:24:55,467
- No.
- Liar. I know faggots like you.
386
00:24:55,541 --> 00:24:59,068
Nothing like the feeling of some
fucker's shaft down your throat, huh?
387
00:24:59,144 --> 00:25:01,009
Could be some basehead.
What do you care?
388
00:25:01,079 --> 00:25:02,944
Probably suck down
his infected manstuff,
389
00:25:03,015 --> 00:25:04,983
smile and call it
cherry pie.
390
00:25:05,050 --> 00:25:07,211
You get off on that shit,
don't you?
391
00:25:07,286 --> 00:25:10,312
- No...
- Yes, you do!
392
00:25:18,263 --> 00:25:20,163
Come on, let me go.
393
00:25:20,232 --> 00:25:21,756
I don't even know who you are.
394
00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:26,567
- My daddy's name is Edwina.
- Shut your hole, you moron!
395
00:25:26,638 --> 00:25:28,731
You always do that.
396
00:25:28,807 --> 00:25:31,367
I won't try to press charges.
397
00:25:31,443 --> 00:25:33,968
You're goddamn right you won't.
398
00:25:34,046 --> 00:25:36,981
He's afraid of Dad.
Look at him.
399
00:25:37,049 --> 00:25:39,415
He should be afraid of Dad.
Dad's tough.
400
00:25:39,484 --> 00:25:42,248
- Let me fuck his cock pouch.
- Dad: Not yet.
401
00:25:42,321 --> 00:25:44,755
- Now!!
- Dad: Soon, though.
402
00:25:44,823 --> 00:25:46,051
Soon you'll taste what's good.
403
00:25:46,124 --> 00:25:48,615
But first,
I want him to say the words.
404
00:25:48,694 --> 00:25:52,391
Say, "I love to suck cock."
405
00:25:54,299 --> 00:25:56,233
All right. All right.
406
00:25:56,301 --> 00:25:59,361
I love to suck cock.
407
00:25:59,438 --> 00:26:04,273
"My name is William,
and I love to suck cock."
408
00:26:04,343 --> 00:26:06,811
My name is William,
409
00:26:06,879 --> 00:26:08,938
and I love to suck cock.
410
00:26:09,014 --> 00:26:11,949
- Tonight's the night.
- Please, stop.
411
00:26:12,017 --> 00:26:14,713
What we have here
is a failure to communicate.
412
00:26:14,786 --> 00:26:18,278
- Some men you just can't reach.
- Please, Edwina.
413
00:26:19,358 --> 00:26:20,848
Turn that thing off!
414
00:26:20,926 --> 00:26:23,019
What the fuck
did you say to me?
415
00:26:23,095 --> 00:26:26,587
- Uh... tonight's the night.
- Before that.
416
00:26:26,665 --> 00:26:28,997
- You said my name.
- I'm sorry.
417
00:26:29,067 --> 00:26:32,662
- I didn't know.
- All right. Ass on the bed. Now!
418
00:26:32,738 --> 00:26:34,569
If I have to tell you again,
419
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,041
the wind will be whistling Dixie
through a hole in your face.
420
00:26:38,110 --> 00:26:40,476
Me and you are going to bed.
That's a fact!
421
00:26:40,545 --> 00:26:43,708
I'm going to make hate to you!
Get your ass up there!
422
00:26:52,491 --> 00:26:55,358
What do you think?
We're going to kiss?
423
00:26:55,427 --> 00:26:57,292
Get him
on his fucking stomach!
424
00:26:57,362 --> 00:26:59,626
Quit holding me up, Gino.
Come on.
425
00:27:00,632 --> 00:27:02,224
Get away from me.
426
00:27:02,301 --> 00:27:03,791
Will: No!
427
00:27:05,304 --> 00:27:08,000
- Time for the dog, Pop.
- Don't rush me.
428
00:27:08,073 --> 00:27:11,167
- Daddy's going to cock him hard.
- Damn right, I am!
429
00:27:11,243 --> 00:27:14,576
And you boys
will toss the salad!
430
00:27:14,646 --> 00:27:17,513
- You never had it so good, did you?
- He never did.
431
00:27:17,582 --> 00:27:19,174
Rim job!
432
00:27:20,352 --> 00:27:23,321
- Now, the shame.
- (Will screams)
433
00:27:23,388 --> 00:27:25,652
Frankie:
Daddy's making his move!
434
00:27:43,041 --> 00:27:44,668
Mother: (distorted)
You know what you are, William?
435
00:27:44,743 --> 00:27:46,438
A whole lot of nothing.
436
00:27:49,681 --> 00:27:52,844
Do you know?
Who got the shitbag?
437
00:27:52,918 --> 00:27:55,386
You're holding it, Dad.
438
00:28:00,492 --> 00:28:02,483
He was good.
439
00:30:43,488 --> 00:30:45,115
You...
440
00:30:45,190 --> 00:30:47,681
you fucking nobody!
441
00:32:34,399 --> 00:32:36,458
(kno cking o n do o r)
442
00:32:39,804 --> 00:32:42,329
Open up, Will.
443
00:32:42,407 --> 00:32:45,274
When was last time
you cleaned this place?
444
00:32:46,344 --> 00:32:48,141
What are you doing?
445
00:32:48,213 --> 00:32:50,909
Shit, what happened?
446
00:32:50,982 --> 00:32:52,973
Who did this?
447
00:32:53,051 --> 00:32:56,418
Did somebody rob you?
One of those fucks outside?
448
00:32:56,488 --> 00:32:59,821
You sit there, all right?
You'll be fine.
449
00:32:59,891 --> 00:33:02,451
- I'll call the cops.
- No!
450
00:33:02,527 --> 00:33:04,825
Don't call anyone.
451
00:33:05,897 --> 00:33:08,991
- You couldn't, even if I let you.
- Why?
452
00:33:11,770 --> 00:33:15,262
Will, tell me
what happened to you.
453
00:33:15,340 --> 00:33:17,035
I'll tell you.
454
00:33:17,108 --> 00:33:20,271
I'll tell you. Just...
455
00:33:20,345 --> 00:33:23,109
don't say a word, 'cause
once I tell you, that's it,
456
00:33:23,181 --> 00:33:25,615
it's never mentioned again.
457
00:33:25,684 --> 00:33:28,812
- I don't think...
- I don't care about what you think
458
00:33:28,887 --> 00:33:30,980
at this precise moment.
459
00:33:32,991 --> 00:33:34,822
What I'm about to tell you...
460
00:33:34,893 --> 00:33:36,986
is not to leave this room.
461
00:33:37,062 --> 00:33:39,656
It can't and it won't.
462
00:33:40,732 --> 00:33:42,791
I'll deal with it
in my own way.
463
00:33:42,867 --> 00:33:46,359
So, please, no questions or
suggestions about what I should do.
464
00:33:46,438 --> 00:33:48,929
As far as anyone else
is concerned,
465
00:33:49,007 --> 00:33:50,736
I was down by Gravely Point,
466
00:33:50,809 --> 00:33:53,437
and got jumped by some guy
with a limp and a.44
467
00:33:53,511 --> 00:33:56,241
who pistol-whipped my ass
and took my wallet.
468
00:33:56,314 --> 00:33:57,645
All right?
469
00:33:59,084 --> 00:34:01,245
What choice do I have?
470
00:34:02,420 --> 00:34:03,751
This is what happened.
471
00:34:03,822 --> 00:34:06,723
- Will: I must have the wrong place.
- Dad: Not if you're ready to get down.
472
00:34:08,593 --> 00:34:10,720
Dad: Now, the shame.
473
00:34:11,029 --> 00:34:14,760
What happened after that,
I don't remember so hot.
474
00:34:14,833 --> 00:34:18,132
All I know is that I woke up
this morning alive,
475
00:34:18,203 --> 00:34:21,832
and I'm still trying to decide
whether I should be thankful for that.
476
00:34:21,906 --> 00:34:24,568
I don't believe this.
477
00:34:24,642 --> 00:34:26,439
What did the doctor say?
478
00:34:27,746 --> 00:34:30,306
You didn't go to the hospital?
479
00:34:30,382 --> 00:34:33,840
- I just wanted to be home.
- Somebody has to look at you.
480
00:34:33,918 --> 00:34:35,818
No questions, no suggestions.
481
00:34:35,887 --> 00:34:38,754
One of those scumbags
could have given you a disease.
482
00:34:38,823 --> 00:34:41,792
- You agreed!
- I know what I said!
483
00:34:41,860 --> 00:34:44,658
But we have to find these guys.
They're sick!
484
00:34:44,729 --> 00:34:47,664
- You could have AIDS!
- You think I haven't thought of that?
485
00:34:47,732 --> 00:34:50,257
You don't think
that was my first thought?
486
00:34:50,335 --> 00:34:53,031
Fucking A, right, it was!
But you know what?
487
00:34:53,104 --> 00:34:56,801
If one of them did have it,
there's nothing I can do.
488
00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:59,639
- Will...
- Will you shut the fuck up?!
489
00:34:59,711 --> 00:35:02,179
You're leaving them out there
to do it to somebody else!
490
00:35:02,247 --> 00:35:04,613
- Not my problem.
- It is your problem!
491
00:35:04,682 --> 00:35:07,116
Cops can track dogshit
like these guys down.
492
00:35:07,185 --> 00:35:09,710
- You can help.
- How would that look?
493
00:35:09,788 --> 00:35:12,951
- How would what look?
- A man dressed as a perverted clown,
494
00:35:13,024 --> 00:35:15,720
shows up to a party
for three men and cries foul
495
00:35:15,794 --> 00:35:18,126
- after being roughed up a bit?
- A bit?!
496
00:35:18,196 --> 00:35:22,098
- There's more to it than that.
- Do you want to know why?
497
00:35:22,167 --> 00:35:24,397
Because that's what
a lawyer would do.
498
00:35:24,469 --> 00:35:26,562
And I won't sit in front
of a jury who thinks
499
00:35:26,638 --> 00:35:29,539
I'm some degenerate
defending my character.
500
00:35:29,607 --> 00:35:33,703
- You're not honest with yourself.
- Will you stop reacting,
501
00:35:33,778 --> 00:35:37,976
and think about it?!
They held me down and raped me!
502
00:35:38,049 --> 00:35:40,950
Exactly! That's why you shouldn't
let them walk!
503
00:35:41,019 --> 00:35:44,785
- You should...
- Syd, I don't want anyone to know!
504
00:35:44,856 --> 00:35:46,790
That's why.
505
00:35:48,293 --> 00:35:50,659
I don't want anyone to know.
506
00:35:50,728 --> 00:35:53,822
I just don't want anyone to know.
507
00:35:53,898 --> 00:35:57,390
- I don't want anyone to know!
- All right. It's okay.
508
00:35:57,469 --> 00:35:58,800
Syd: No one else, right?
509
00:35:58,870 --> 00:36:01,430
- (Will sobs)
- Nobody else.
510
00:36:01,506 --> 00:36:03,098
Nobody else.
511
00:37:17,215 --> 00:37:20,378
Will: Mrs. Affleck?
This is Will Carlson,
512
00:37:20,451 --> 00:37:23,284
the party clown.
I know it's short notice,
513
00:37:23,354 --> 00:37:25,117
I won't be able to make it.
514
00:37:25,189 --> 00:37:27,384
I'm sorry,
something came up.
515
00:37:27,458 --> 00:37:30,894
No, I can't. I can't.
516
00:37:34,198 --> 00:37:37,224
(with clown voice)
Yes, this is really Flappy.
517
00:37:37,302 --> 00:37:39,668
No, it really is.
518
00:37:39,737 --> 00:37:41,204
L...
519
00:37:41,272 --> 00:37:43,001
I'll be there, Benny.
520
00:37:43,074 --> 00:37:45,099
See you soon.
521
00:37:57,755 --> 00:37:59,780
- Whoa, hold up!
- (sirens wailing)
522
00:38:01,759 --> 00:38:05,422
- (crash)
- Watch where you're going, fuckstick!
523
00:38:05,496 --> 00:38:07,157
Sorry!
524
00:38:07,231 --> 00:38:08,755
- Hurry up!
- Will: What's going on?
525
00:38:08,833 --> 00:38:11,461
Some dickhead got
his walking papers.
526
00:38:11,536 --> 00:38:14,266
That thing friggin' rules!
Let's go!
527
00:38:14,339 --> 00:38:16,705
- Will: Walking papers?
- Divorce papers, dumbass!
528
00:38:18,643 --> 00:38:20,941
Where do you think
you're going?
529
00:38:21,012 --> 00:38:23,776
I'll have that shitbox
towed right out of here!
530
00:38:28,086 --> 00:38:30,486
Officer: Don't you people
have jobs? Let's go.
531
00:38:30,555 --> 00:38:32,113
Move it back. Let's go.
532
00:38:32,190 --> 00:38:34,317
Captain:
I repeat, put the weapon down.
533
00:38:34,392 --> 00:38:36,087
Let Ashley go, Travis.
534
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,993
I repeat,
go fuck yourself!
535
00:38:39,063 --> 00:38:41,122
She's in charge here, not me!
536
00:38:41,199 --> 00:38:44,168
Travis: Not you, her!
Jill started all this shit!
537
00:38:44,235 --> 00:38:46,226
Ashley knows it too!
538
00:38:46,304 --> 00:38:47,794
You hear that?!
She knows!
539
00:38:49,340 --> 00:38:52,400
You think you can sneak around
on me and get a divorce?
540
00:38:52,477 --> 00:38:55,878
I want what's rightfully mine!
I want what's coming to me.
541
00:38:55,947 --> 00:38:58,211
Captain: I know you don't
want to hurt your daughter.
542
00:38:58,282 --> 00:39:01,376
We both know that.
This is about something else.
543
00:39:01,452 --> 00:39:04,478
Just talk to me.
Maybe we can figure something out.
544
00:39:04,555 --> 00:39:07,285
- It'd be better...
- I'll tell you what'd be better.
545
00:39:07,358 --> 00:39:08,985
Send that bitch in here!
546
00:39:09,060 --> 00:39:11,255
She comes in, Ashley comes out.
547
00:39:11,329 --> 00:39:13,661
Get your damn hands off me!
I have to go!
548
00:39:13,731 --> 00:39:17,098
If your mother would listen,
we wouldn't have to go through this.
549
00:39:22,306 --> 00:39:23,830
You think I'm fucking with you?
550
00:39:23,908 --> 00:39:25,637
You're talking about
clearing this shit up,
551
00:39:25,710 --> 00:39:27,268
you've got cops skulking around!
552
00:39:27,345 --> 00:39:29,245
Don't jerk me off,
Captain!
553
00:39:38,456 --> 00:39:40,447
Captain:
It doesn't have to be this way.
554
00:39:40,525 --> 00:39:42,516
That's the way it's gotta be!
555
00:39:42,593 --> 00:39:44,891
If I go out,
I ain't going out alone!
556
00:39:44,962 --> 00:39:47,453
I'll take a few
of you fucks with me!
557
00:39:47,532 --> 00:39:51,195
Captain: No one's been hurt.
Walk away with a clean conscience.
558
00:39:51,269 --> 00:39:54,170
- It'll be better for us both.
- I'm better than you!
559
00:39:54,238 --> 00:39:56,763
- Better than all of you!
- Captain: Talk to me, Travis.
560
00:39:56,841 --> 00:39:58,934
I need to know
everything's okay in there.
561
00:39:59,010 --> 00:40:01,103
We're going to arrange
a meeting with your wife.
562
00:40:01,179 --> 00:40:02,874
Nobody else, just her!
563
00:40:02,947 --> 00:40:04,812
Captain:
You know I can't promise that.
564
00:40:04,882 --> 00:40:07,407
Travis: You think
I'm some kind of asshole?!
565
00:40:07,485 --> 00:40:11,148
You think I don't know I'm fucked?
You're fucked too!
566
00:40:11,222 --> 00:40:12,450
No matter what you think,
567
00:40:12,523 --> 00:40:14,957
you're not walking away
from this a winner. No way!
568
00:40:15,026 --> 00:40:17,358
Captain:
Is there anything you'd like?
569
00:40:17,428 --> 00:40:18,827
Some sandwiches, coffee maybe?
570
00:40:18,896 --> 00:40:21,023
- Something for Ashley?
- Travis: No!
571
00:40:21,099 --> 00:40:23,465
There's only one thing
on my mind.
572
00:40:23,534 --> 00:40:26,162
You have the power
to grant me one request?
573
00:40:26,237 --> 00:40:28,000
Captain: Within reason.
What do you want?
574
00:40:28,072 --> 00:40:30,597
Bitch's head on a stake.
575
00:40:45,757 --> 00:40:47,782
A deranged father.
576
00:40:47,859 --> 00:40:50,054
An innocent young girl.
577
00:40:50,128 --> 00:40:52,790
It could have ended up yet
another statistic
578
00:40:52,864 --> 00:40:56,425
in the growing holocaust
of violent domestic unrest
579
00:40:56,501 --> 00:40:58,867
that plagues this country.
580
00:40:58,936 --> 00:41:01,336
But a hometown hero
got involved.
581
00:41:01,405 --> 00:41:04,272
Or rather,
a hometown clown.
582
00:41:04,342 --> 00:41:07,436
A clown who's got something
to smile about,
583
00:41:07,512 --> 00:41:10,811
one eternally grateful
little girl.
584
00:41:10,882 --> 00:41:13,680
Let's please welcome
Will Carlson,
585
00:41:13,751 --> 00:41:17,619
better known as Flappy the Clown.
Welcome to the show.
586
00:41:29,467 --> 00:41:30,627
Will...
587
00:41:30,701 --> 00:41:32,828
what I'd like you to do now
588
00:41:32,904 --> 00:41:34,872
is to take us back.
589
00:41:34,939 --> 00:41:37,203
Tell me what was going
through your mind,
590
00:41:37,275 --> 00:41:39,869
what the catalyst,
one might say,
591
00:41:39,944 --> 00:41:44,074
was that led you
to confront this maniac?
592
00:41:44,148 --> 00:41:48,084
I've given this some thought
over the past few days.
593
00:41:48,152 --> 00:41:50,177
To be totally honest,
594
00:41:50,254 --> 00:41:52,347
I still don't know.
595
00:41:52,423 --> 00:41:54,823
There was a little girl
that you saved.
596
00:41:54,892 --> 00:41:57,360
- A little eight-year-old girl.
- Yeah.
597
00:41:57,428 --> 00:41:59,521
Host: Then the fact
that it was a child,
598
00:41:59,597 --> 00:42:01,929
perhaps, that moved you
in some way?
599
00:42:01,999 --> 00:42:06,060
Call me old-fashioned,
but I've always had a soft spot
600
00:42:06,137 --> 00:42:08,367
for kids with guns
pointed at their heads.
601
00:42:10,041 --> 00:42:11,736
But seriously,
602
00:42:11,809 --> 00:42:14,107
you could have easily
have been killed.
603
00:42:14,178 --> 00:42:18,080
I can't tell you how many times
I've been told that,
604
00:42:18,149 --> 00:42:21,448
- but here I am.
- And here you are.
605
00:42:21,519 --> 00:42:23,783
Let's take a few questions
from the audience.
606
00:42:23,855 --> 00:42:25,482
Yes, ma'am.
607
00:42:26,557 --> 00:42:28,491
Hi, Flappy.
608
00:42:28,559 --> 00:42:30,356
Hi.
609
00:42:30,428 --> 00:42:34,228
I'm glad you killed that
worthless piece of trash.
610
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,134
I didn't kill him.
611
00:42:38,202 --> 00:42:41,694
- I didn't kill him.
- You're no hero.
612
00:42:41,772 --> 00:42:44,434
Now, is there a ceiling
on how much crap
613
00:42:44,508 --> 00:42:47,238
we, as Americans, have to tolerate
from (bleep) like this?
614
00:42:48,746 --> 00:42:51,112
Also, I was wondering
615
00:42:51,182 --> 00:42:54,879
if you'd consider doing
another kind of party?
616
00:42:54,952 --> 00:42:58,945
Umm... I didn't quite catch
the first part of that question.
617
00:42:59,023 --> 00:43:02,083
And as for the latter...
I didn't get that either.
618
00:43:02,159 --> 00:43:04,593
I still do parties for kids!
619
00:43:09,066 --> 00:43:11,534
Only humans
can he heroes, right?
620
00:43:11,602 --> 00:43:14,093
Tell that
to Walt Flannigan's dog,
621
00:43:14,171 --> 00:43:16,799
a gutsy pooch who pulled
his screaming master
622
00:43:16,874 --> 00:43:18,774
from a burning
comic book store.
623
00:43:18,843 --> 00:43:21,641
That story and
other hometown heroes...
624
00:43:27,685 --> 00:43:28,879
Don't.
625
00:43:36,427 --> 00:43:37,519
Flappy.
626
00:43:38,896 --> 00:43:42,627
- May I suggest a sandwich, sir?
- You may suggest nothing.
627
00:43:42,700 --> 00:43:45,430
Please... he's a fucking party clown.
There's not too many of them.
628
00:43:45,503 --> 00:43:47,437
Now find him and get back to me.
629
00:43:47,505 --> 00:43:50,269
Jesus H. Christ, are you still
out here from last week?
630
00:43:50,341 --> 00:43:52,969
- Well, if it isn't Mr. Funny Pants.
- It's not his fault.
631
00:43:53,044 --> 00:43:54,807
There's been a horrible
wind shear all morning.
632
00:43:54,879 --> 00:43:56,870
Relax.
633
00:43:56,948 --> 00:43:58,939
Where have you been?
You're an hour late.
634
00:43:59,016 --> 00:44:00,745
Somebody's got
to secure our positions
635
00:44:00,818 --> 00:44:02,786
at the top of
the entertainment biz.
636
00:44:02,853 --> 00:44:03,785
Damn.
637
00:44:03,854 --> 00:44:05,822
You're not even fucking listening.
638
00:44:07,158 --> 00:44:08,625
All right, Marty,
what's on your mind?
639
00:44:08,693 --> 00:44:12,185
Well, Gil, how would you like
to be responsible for programming
640
00:44:12,263 --> 00:44:15,289
one of the most popular
kiddie shows of all time?
641
00:44:15,366 --> 00:44:16,765
Well, Marty, I'd love it.
642
00:44:16,834 --> 00:44:18,699
Kind of missed
my window, though.
643
00:44:18,769 --> 00:44:21,203
Sesame Street's been on
for quite some time.
644
00:44:21,272 --> 00:44:24,901
I'm talking about now,
about a new show.
645
00:44:24,976 --> 00:44:25,965
Gil?
646
00:44:27,144 --> 00:44:28,873
I'm talking about Flappy.
647
00:44:28,946 --> 00:44:30,573
- Who?
- He said Flappy.
648
00:44:30,648 --> 00:44:33,617
I know what he said.
Stand over there, please.
649
00:44:33,684 --> 00:44:36,244
You've got to tell me
what you're talking about
650
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:40,188
- before I can give you an appraisal.
- First off, it's not a what.
651
00:44:40,257 --> 00:44:44,057
It's a who. And he's making
a big splash, Orca-style.
652
00:44:44,128 --> 00:44:46,995
It's the hero clown.
The one who saved the little girl.
653
00:44:47,064 --> 00:44:49,555
- The father and guns and everything.
- Boring.
654
00:44:49,633 --> 00:44:51,601
He's become a media darling.
655
00:44:51,669 --> 00:44:53,796
It's already transcended
the local networks.
656
00:44:53,871 --> 00:44:56,465
This guy has been on
two nationwide tabloid shows.
657
00:44:56,540 --> 00:44:58,508
And he's scheduled
for prime time tonight.
658
00:44:58,576 --> 00:45:01,511
And what did you say
his name is again?
659
00:45:01,579 --> 00:45:03,376
Flappy.
660
00:45:03,447 --> 00:45:05,381
How can you not love that?
661
00:45:05,449 --> 00:45:07,144
Not loving it.
662
00:45:07,218 --> 00:45:08,378
Fine.
663
00:45:08,452 --> 00:45:11,114
It's all right.
Just work on your...
664
00:45:11,188 --> 00:45:14,419
let me tell you about this one time
I brought this other kid's show
665
00:45:14,492 --> 00:45:16,357
- to Gil's attention.
- Hey! Hey!
666
00:45:16,427 --> 00:45:18,759
We agreed never
to bring that up again.
667
00:45:18,829 --> 00:45:20,524
Not even in jest.
668
00:45:20,598 --> 00:45:23,158
Nobody knew
that big, fat purple bastard
669
00:45:23,234 --> 00:45:25,099
would have such staying power.
670
00:45:25,169 --> 00:45:27,000
Who is this Flappy guy?
671
00:45:27,071 --> 00:45:30,700
People save kids
every day of the week.
672
00:45:30,775 --> 00:45:32,834
I heard some flea-footed dog
saved his master.
673
00:45:32,910 --> 00:45:36,573
- You want to give him a TV show too?
- People love him.
674
00:45:36,647 --> 00:45:38,444
If you're a parent and you haven't
secured him
675
00:45:38,516 --> 00:45:40,450
for your kids' party, forget it.
676
00:45:40,518 --> 00:45:42,611
You're meat.
They hate you.
677
00:45:42,686 --> 00:45:45,587
This guy's gonna be big!
I can feel it.
678
00:45:45,656 --> 00:45:47,783
That prehistoric
shitbag, dude, he's scrapnel.
679
00:45:47,858 --> 00:45:49,951
This Flappy
is prime fucking rib!
680
00:45:50,027 --> 00:45:53,292
- Strike while the iron's hot!
- All right. Listen.
681
00:45:53,364 --> 00:45:56,162
We've got two months
until our contracts are re-upped.
682
00:45:56,233 --> 00:45:58,599
- If he's still as hot then...
- Listen.
683
00:45:58,669 --> 00:46:02,230
- # I love you, you love me... #
- All right!
684
00:46:02,306 --> 00:46:05,935
All right, you pushy bastard.
Get this Flappy guy on board.
685
00:46:06,010 --> 00:46:08,069
- Yes!
- No... and I repeat...
686
00:46:08,145 --> 00:46:11,080
no long-term deal,
standard contract only.
687
00:46:11,148 --> 00:46:13,844
I'm not marrying some
wet-behind-the-ears rookie.
688
00:46:13,918 --> 00:46:15,681
Gil?
689
00:46:15,753 --> 00:46:17,983
Flappy's the word.
690
00:46:18,055 --> 00:46:20,546
# Flappy's the word,
is the word #
691
00:46:20,624 --> 00:46:22,319
- # Have you heard... #
- Marty, do you mind?
692
00:46:22,393 --> 00:46:23,325
It's cool.
693
00:46:27,531 --> 00:46:28,759
Flappy...
694
00:46:28,833 --> 00:46:30,630
you had better
have me golfing
695
00:46:30,701 --> 00:46:33,261
with some players
in Hawaii by year's end.
696
00:46:34,472 --> 00:46:36,633
He will, sir. He will.
697
00:46:36,707 --> 00:46:39,540
- The wedge!
- Wise choice, sir.
698
00:46:45,883 --> 00:46:47,748
(kno cking)
699
00:46:54,725 --> 00:46:57,250
Look, I don't know
who you're collecting for,
700
00:46:57,328 --> 00:47:00,354
but they can save a cell for me
down in debtors prison.
701
00:47:00,431 --> 00:47:01,989
Oh. Mr. Carlson.
702
00:47:02,066 --> 00:47:04,557
Hi. No,
I'm Martan Ingram.
703
00:47:04,635 --> 00:47:06,159
Jayram Television.
704
00:47:06,237 --> 00:47:08,137
You know,
out at the highlands.
705
00:47:08,205 --> 00:47:11,072
- Oh. I'm sorry. Come in.
- Thank you.
706
00:47:11,142 --> 00:47:12,666
Come in.
707
00:47:14,211 --> 00:47:16,771
You know how
those bill collectors can be,
708
00:47:16,847 --> 00:47:19,941
wanting payment on goods
and services, the nerve.
709
00:47:20,017 --> 00:47:22,508
They can be trying. Ummm...
710
00:47:22,586 --> 00:47:25,077
let me cut right to the chase.
711
00:47:25,156 --> 00:47:27,386
Have you ever done
any television before?
712
00:47:27,458 --> 00:47:29,426
A ton in the past few weeks.
713
00:47:29,493 --> 00:47:32,690
Oh, the news, but I'm talking
about before that.
714
00:47:32,763 --> 00:47:35,755
Well, once I was eating
at Ray's Ribtip Grill,
715
00:47:35,833 --> 00:47:37,630
and this old dude
smashed through the window
716
00:47:37,701 --> 00:47:40,192
and killed this retarded kid,
and they asked me for a comment
717
00:47:40,271 --> 00:47:41,465
on the 11:00 news.
718
00:47:42,540 --> 00:47:43,871
Well... l...
719
00:47:46,610 --> 00:47:49,408
I meant, have you thought
of hosting your own show?
720
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:53,348
Well, I was trying to set up
something on cable access,
721
00:47:53,417 --> 00:47:57,979
- but air time doesn't come cheap.
- It can be pricey.
722
00:47:58,055 --> 00:48:02,185
I was thinking that l...
we, at Jayram...
723
00:48:02,259 --> 00:48:05,695
we're extremely enthusiastic
about you hosting your own show.
724
00:48:05,763 --> 00:48:07,993
Yeah, right.
Where's the camera?
725
00:48:08,065 --> 00:48:10,090
Who are you,
Allen Funt's evil twin?
726
00:48:12,469 --> 00:48:15,267
- You're serious?
- As a heart attack.
727
00:48:16,574 --> 00:48:19,668
I always wanted to say that.
You'd be syndicated,
728
00:48:19,743 --> 00:48:22,109
which means that every kid,
from Portland, Oregon
729
00:48:22,179 --> 00:48:24,807
to Portland, Maine,
would be watching your show,
730
00:48:24,882 --> 00:48:27,077
or more specifically,
you, the Flappy.
731
00:48:28,552 --> 00:48:32,454
- I don't know what to think.
- I brought a contract along,
732
00:48:32,523 --> 00:48:36,459
and it's spelled out fairly clearly.
I was hoping we could...
733
00:48:37,695 --> 00:48:38,855
jeez...
734
00:48:38,929 --> 00:48:41,124
I'm rushing you,
aren't I?
735
00:48:41,198 --> 00:48:44,031
God, I'm not even thinking
this is sudden for you.
736
00:48:45,269 --> 00:48:48,033
That's one way of putting it.
Surreal might be another.
737
00:48:48,105 --> 00:48:50,266
Why don't we do this
like real people?
738
00:48:50,341 --> 00:48:52,104
Do you want to have
dinner tonight?
739
00:48:52,176 --> 00:48:55,668
If you want, feel free
to bring your agent along.
740
00:48:55,746 --> 00:48:59,204
- That's fine with me.
- I don't exactly have an agent.
741
00:48:59,283 --> 00:49:00,910
Ooh.
742
00:49:00,985 --> 00:49:03,977
Well... if we had to,
we could wait.
743
00:49:04,054 --> 00:49:06,648
No! I mean, no.
744
00:49:06,724 --> 00:49:09,192
Why give those guys 10%?
745
00:49:09,260 --> 00:49:12,923
It's just that my car
is a bit on the fritz.
746
00:49:12,997 --> 00:49:15,522
Not a problem. We'll send
a car to pick you up.
747
00:49:15,599 --> 00:49:18,932
- 7:00?
- That would be great.
748
00:49:19,003 --> 00:49:21,130
Ummm... why, though?
749
00:49:21,205 --> 00:49:23,537
If you're partial
to public transportation,
750
00:49:23,607 --> 00:49:27,668
- by all means, take the bus.
- No, no. Why the show?
751
00:49:27,745 --> 00:49:30,680
Why me?
I know I helped a little girl...
752
00:49:30,748 --> 00:49:32,306
Helped her?
753
00:49:32,383 --> 00:49:34,908
You saved her.
754
00:49:34,985 --> 00:49:37,249
People remember
things like that.
755
00:49:39,390 --> 00:49:41,153
Have you ever heard of karma?
756
00:49:41,225 --> 00:49:44,160
- Yeah.
- Okay, then.
757
00:49:51,268 --> 00:49:53,498
Hi, Mom.
758
00:49:53,570 --> 00:49:56,038
Visiting hours are over.
You have to leave.
759
00:49:56,106 --> 00:49:58,939
The secretary said
I could drop by.
760
00:49:59,009 --> 00:50:01,671
I'm sorry I haven't been by
in a few days. I've been busy.
761
00:50:01,745 --> 00:50:04,270
- I saw you on the television.
- You did?
762
00:50:04,348 --> 00:50:06,077
That's what I'm here
to talk about.
763
00:50:06,150 --> 00:50:08,880
Of course, I was watching it
in the community room.
764
00:50:08,952 --> 00:50:11,921
I don't have a TV of my own,
like everyone else here.
765
00:50:11,989 --> 00:50:14,890
You will soon.
I have some pretty good news.
766
00:50:14,958 --> 00:50:17,290
- Sure.
- No, I do.
767
00:50:17,361 --> 00:50:20,558
Someone from one of the networks
saw what I did.
768
00:50:20,631 --> 00:50:22,929
It was a very stupid thing to do.
769
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,059
Some people think that.
770
00:50:25,135 --> 00:50:27,535
It might not have been
one of my smartest moves...
771
00:50:27,604 --> 00:50:29,697
I don't know that you've
ever made a smart move
772
00:50:29,773 --> 00:50:32,071
in your whole miserable existence.
773
00:50:32,142 --> 00:50:35,305
I'm sorry about what I said.
When you talk about him...
774
00:50:35,379 --> 00:50:38,906
I didn't mean it.
I got a little mad.
775
00:50:38,982 --> 00:50:42,213
Can we forget it happened
and start fresh?
776
00:50:42,286 --> 00:50:44,379
I don't have to stand for that.
777
00:50:44,455 --> 00:50:47,356
I know. I said I'm sorry.
I didn't come here to fight.
778
00:50:47,424 --> 00:50:50,257
I came to tell you
that I got a job.
779
00:50:50,327 --> 00:50:51,851
On television!
780
00:50:51,929 --> 00:50:53,954
Television?
781
00:50:54,031 --> 00:50:57,398
They must have put you
on as a maintenance man.
782
00:50:57,468 --> 00:50:59,197
You have no skills.
783
00:50:59,269 --> 00:51:01,396
What could you be qualified for?
784
00:51:01,472 --> 00:51:05,306
I'm a clown, just like
I've always wanted to be.
785
00:51:05,376 --> 00:51:07,071
It finally worked out.
786
00:51:07,144 --> 00:51:08,941
For a while, it looked bleak,
787
00:51:09,012 --> 00:51:11,480
and I thought I might have
to give it up, but I'm glad I didn't!
788
00:51:11,548 --> 00:51:14,517
Still with the clown business?
789
00:51:14,585 --> 00:51:16,485
You'll go nowhere with that.
790
00:51:16,553 --> 00:51:20,922
I've tried to drum some sense
into that skull of yours for years...
791
00:51:20,991 --> 00:51:23,118
Mom, you're not listening.
792
00:51:23,193 --> 00:51:26,253
I have my own show,
my own regular TV show.
793
00:51:26,330 --> 00:51:29,390
It will be called, Flappy's Fun House.
794
00:51:29,466 --> 00:51:31,400
That's an absurd name.
795
00:51:31,468 --> 00:51:34,631
They thought of the name.
But it'll be pretty good.
796
00:51:34,705 --> 00:51:37,333
It has some positive messages,
and no violence.
797
00:51:37,408 --> 00:51:40,707
The idea is that it teaches
and entertains at the same time.
798
00:51:40,778 --> 00:51:43,178
What parent
in their right mind
799
00:51:43,247 --> 00:51:46,216
would let their child
watch such foolishness?
800
00:51:46,283 --> 00:51:48,581
It won't last.
Even I can see that.
801
00:51:48,652 --> 00:51:51,746
You'll end up right back
where you started.
802
00:51:51,822 --> 00:51:54,552
Seems you were born
to be a bumbling idiot.
803
00:51:55,726 --> 00:51:59,457
What is so hard
about being happy for me?
804
00:51:59,530 --> 00:52:03,523
Why can't you say anything nice?
805
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,625
Why bother telling you?
806
00:52:05,702 --> 00:52:07,260
I'd just as soon
you didn't annoy me
807
00:52:07,337 --> 00:52:09,532
with such asinine fairy tales.
808
00:52:09,606 --> 00:52:12,837
- Television!
- Want me to show you the contracts?
809
00:52:12,910 --> 00:52:16,505
- What do you need? Written proof?
- Maven on the move.
810
00:52:16,580 --> 00:52:22,109
What you need to learn is what you do
is nothing more than a hobby.
811
00:52:22,186 --> 00:52:24,746
It's a job, not a hobby.
812
00:52:24,822 --> 00:52:28,280
Yes, well, you've overstayed
your welcome.
813
00:52:29,793 --> 00:52:31,693
Go on, get out!
814
00:52:31,762 --> 00:52:33,662
Bring some good news back
with you next time,
815
00:52:33,730 --> 00:52:36,130
not some bullshit
about having a real job!
816
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:39,966
I'll believe you have a real job
the day you can walk in,
817
00:52:40,037 --> 00:52:42,562
and your hands aren't softer
than a newborn's ass.
818
00:52:42,639 --> 00:52:46,370
Out! I don't want to hear it.
You make me ill.
819
00:53:03,961 --> 00:53:06,794
Well, kids,
you won't believe this,
820
00:53:06,864 --> 00:53:09,890
but that's all the time
we have for today.
821
00:53:12,202 --> 00:53:15,069
Have no fear. We'll do it
all again tomorrow,
822
00:53:15,138 --> 00:53:18,665
with more fun and excitement
on Flappy's Fun House!
823
00:53:18,742 --> 00:53:20,607
Kids: Yeah!
824
00:53:21,678 --> 00:53:24,340
Now, I want to thank you,
825
00:53:24,414 --> 00:53:25,904
and you,
826
00:53:25,983 --> 00:53:27,507
and you,
827
00:53:27,584 --> 00:53:31,418
for helping me make
this first show a big success.
828
00:53:31,488 --> 00:53:33,718
I want you
to do what Flappy did.
829
00:53:33,790 --> 00:53:36,554
Stay in school and
take care of yourself,
830
00:53:36,627 --> 00:53:40,859
because you know what?
You're the only you you've got.
831
00:53:40,931 --> 00:53:43,456
And I'm not clowning around!
832
00:53:47,905 --> 00:53:50,965
- Woman: Excuse me.
- Marty: You are a natural.
833
00:53:51,041 --> 00:53:54,067
- You realize that, don't you?
- Hello, Flappy. Martan
834
00:53:54,144 --> 00:53:56,908
Cinnamon, get the door.
These kids, they just...
835
00:53:56,980 --> 00:53:59,813
- they love you.
- They do, don't they?
836
00:53:59,883 --> 00:54:01,817
Absolutely.
I'm no psychic friend,
837
00:54:01,885 --> 00:54:05,150
but I'll bet that within a year,
you'll be more popular
838
00:54:05,222 --> 00:54:08,589
than "It's Scotty"
and those powerful Rangers.
839
00:54:08,659 --> 00:54:11,127
- Will: Really?
- Yes.
840
00:54:14,698 --> 00:54:16,256
Fuck.
841
00:55:22,132 --> 00:55:23,929
It came, Mommy!
842
00:55:24,001 --> 00:55:26,561
- Flappy sent the video!
- So he did.
843
00:55:26,637 --> 00:55:28,969
- Want me to open it for you?
- "Want me to open it for you?"
844
00:55:29,039 --> 00:55:31,633
Would you two shut up?
I'm trying to watch a picture here.
845
00:55:31,708 --> 00:55:34,871
- Shut up, you old fool.
- Shut up, old fool.
846
00:55:34,945 --> 00:55:38,381
Hey, I don't want her
talking to me like that.
847
00:55:38,448 --> 00:55:41,383
- Can I watch it now?
- You certainly can.
848
00:55:41,451 --> 00:55:44,545
What?
I was watching something.
849
00:55:44,621 --> 00:55:46,885
Woman: I noticed.
850
00:55:46,957 --> 00:55:48,891
It's just that I don't care.
851
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:54,729
- What? I pay the damn rent!
- Watch your English around her.
852
00:55:54,798 --> 00:55:56,561
What does that say?
Volume eight?
853
00:55:56,633 --> 00:55:59,363
Have you been buying that crap
and not telling me?
854
00:56:01,138 --> 00:56:03,538
- What is it?
- It's Flappy's Funhouse!
855
00:56:03,607 --> 00:56:05,632
I can read. What's a Flappy?
856
00:56:05,709 --> 00:56:07,700
I like and love Flappy.
857
00:56:09,646 --> 00:56:11,910
- That tells me nothing...
- Leave her alone.
858
00:56:11,982 --> 00:56:15,315
Leave me alone. He's mad
'cause Flappy's better than him.
859
00:56:15,385 --> 00:56:18,149
All right, that's it.
I'm going out with my boys.
860
00:56:18,221 --> 00:56:19,950
We're bowling tonight.
861
00:56:20,023 --> 00:56:22,651
- League champs, I might add.
- Oh, I care.
862
00:56:22,726 --> 00:56:25,320
Do they have social lives?
863
00:56:25,395 --> 00:56:26,987
I have never seen two grown men
864
00:56:27,064 --> 00:56:29,692
who'd rather hang out
with their father constantly
865
00:56:29,766 --> 00:56:33,532
instead of going on dates, or
at least attempting to meet women.
866
00:56:33,603 --> 00:56:35,696
Oh yeah?
Maybe that's what we're doing.
867
00:56:35,772 --> 00:56:38,332
- Have you considered that?
- Who in their right mind
868
00:56:38,408 --> 00:56:39,898
would be interested in you?
869
00:56:39,976 --> 00:56:42,444
I can't believe I was
for that fleeting moment.
870
00:56:42,512 --> 00:56:44,946
You know,
that front door hasn't moved.
871
00:56:48,085 --> 00:56:50,713
Look at this. A clown.
872
00:56:50,787 --> 00:56:51,879
How unique.
873
00:56:51,955 --> 00:56:54,515
No one has ever thought
of putting a clown on TV before.
874
00:56:54,591 --> 00:56:57,856
You people are so easily taken,
875
00:56:57,928 --> 00:56:59,520
especially you.
876
00:57:22,219 --> 00:57:23,777
Will's voice: My name's William,
877
00:57:23,854 --> 00:57:27,517
and I love to suck cocks.
I love...
878
00:57:27,591 --> 00:57:29,525
to suck cock.
879
00:57:30,794 --> 00:57:32,091
...for kids.
880
00:57:43,073 --> 00:57:46,167
Gee, Ed, if I had known
you were gonna develop
881
00:57:46,243 --> 00:57:47,471
such an affinity for it,
882
00:57:47,544 --> 00:57:50,206
I'd have signed you up
for his fanclub.
883
00:57:55,018 --> 00:57:57,282
- Mom!
- What's the matter, jackass?!
884
00:57:57,354 --> 00:57:59,549
He sure is one.
885
00:58:11,034 --> 00:58:14,868
I was like, " 10 grand
for a store opening?"
886
00:58:14,938 --> 00:58:16,929
I felt like
I was robbing the guy.
887
00:58:17,007 --> 00:58:19,407
I half expected him
to ask me for help trafficking
888
00:58:19,476 --> 00:58:21,501
black market babies to Mexico.
889
00:58:21,578 --> 00:58:25,014
Syd: I'd do it for 10 grand.
Which way to the border?
890
00:58:25,081 --> 00:58:27,675
I'm getting another call.
891
00:58:27,751 --> 00:58:30,777
Don't forget we're having dinner
with Phil at Raskin's tonight.
892
00:58:30,854 --> 00:58:32,981
I'll give you a call
around 8:00.
893
00:58:33,056 --> 00:58:34,819
Talk to you then.
894
00:58:34,891 --> 00:58:36,324
Hello?
895
00:58:36,393 --> 00:58:39,157
Ed:
Hello, fuckface!
896
00:58:39,229 --> 00:58:41,959
- Who is this?
- Ed: Say it isn't so.
897
00:58:42,032 --> 00:58:43,522
You've forgotten me already.
898
00:58:46,336 --> 00:58:48,770
And after we were so...
899
00:58:48,839 --> 00:58:50,466
familiar.
900
00:58:56,947 --> 00:59:00,280
- What the hell do you want?
- It's all coming back to you now?
901
00:59:00,317 --> 00:59:03,445
I thought it might.
What do I want?
902
00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:05,715
That's a good question.
903
00:59:05,789 --> 00:59:09,190
Immortality?
Legendary status?
904
00:59:09,259 --> 00:59:12,285
Wait! I've got it!
$50,000!
905
00:59:12,362 --> 00:59:16,799
For what?! Count yourself fortunate
your ass isn't in jail.
906
00:59:16,867 --> 00:59:19,597
I should have called the cops
on you, you sick fuck!
907
00:59:19,669 --> 00:59:22,001
Who the fuck do you think
you're talking to?
908
00:59:22,072 --> 00:59:25,337
I'll show them the goddamn tape.
I'll bury you!
909
00:59:25,408 --> 00:59:27,376
What tape?
910
00:59:27,444 --> 00:59:29,742
You put on a good performance
that night.
911
00:59:29,813 --> 00:59:31,781
You took off
the clown garments...
912
00:59:31,848 --> 00:59:33,577
did it all.
913
00:59:33,650 --> 00:59:36,483
The show was good.
Worth the money.
914
00:59:36,553 --> 00:59:39,181
I didn't put on any show.
You know it.
915
00:59:39,256 --> 00:59:41,781
What does your tape show?
What you did to me?
916
00:59:41,858 --> 00:59:44,725
Go ahead, shoot yourself
in the foot, by all means.
917
00:59:44,794 --> 00:59:46,819
You're trying to call my bluff.
918
00:59:46,897 --> 00:59:49,127
That's not all the tape
shows, handsome.
919
00:59:49,199 --> 00:59:51,030
It shows you getting down,
920
00:59:51,101 --> 00:59:54,161
but it seems you like talking
about what you do.
921
00:59:54,237 --> 00:59:56,899
- I don't believe you.
- That's fine.
922
00:59:56,973 --> 00:59:58,907
It's just that my boy Gino,
923
00:59:58,975 --> 01:00:02,172
if there's one thing he likes
it's fooling around with that camera,
924
01:00:02,245 --> 01:00:05,476
making little movies, editing...
925
01:00:06,549 --> 01:00:10,679
I knew it.
Give me my video.
926
01:00:11,821 --> 01:00:14,688
Now listen. You'll want
to work with me on this.
927
01:00:14,758 --> 01:00:17,022
If I show that tape
to a few people...
928
01:00:17,093 --> 01:00:20,256
the right people or the wrong people,
depending on how you look at it...
929
01:00:20,330 --> 01:00:23,128
Flappy's in for a world of trouble,
wouldn't you say?
930
01:00:23,199 --> 01:00:26,362
What assurance do I have
that this tape even exists?
931
01:00:26,436 --> 01:00:29,234
- Once you get the money, then what?
- You get the tape.
932
01:00:29,306 --> 01:00:30,364
This is the only one?
933
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:33,773
How can I be certain another one
won't mysteriously pop up?
934
01:00:33,843 --> 01:00:36,835
- You can't be.
- Then why would I agree?
935
01:00:36,913 --> 01:00:39,143
Because you have no choice,
Mr. Fuck-face!
936
01:00:39,215 --> 01:00:41,581
Stop calling me that!
937
01:00:43,386 --> 01:00:45,149
- When?
- Tomorrow.
938
01:00:45,221 --> 01:00:47,121
How about the corner phone
at Snub and Cornwall?
939
01:00:47,190 --> 01:00:50,387
- I suggest you be there and wait.
- I want to know now.
940
01:00:50,460 --> 01:00:52,985
I'd let you know right now,
but I have my eye...
941
01:00:53,063 --> 01:00:55,258
on the most delicious
young gentleman.
942
01:00:55,332 --> 01:00:59,496
Couldn't be more than seven.
So supple at that age, so...
943
01:00:59,569 --> 01:01:01,560
goodbye, fuck-face!
944
01:01:12,148 --> 01:01:13,615
What?
945
01:01:15,885 --> 01:01:17,910
When you told me
what happened that night,
946
01:01:17,988 --> 01:01:20,548
you didn't mention a video camera.
947
01:01:20,623 --> 01:01:23,922
Think hard.
Are you sure you don't remember?
948
01:01:23,994 --> 01:01:26,087
I'm sure.
949
01:01:26,162 --> 01:01:28,323
I could barely remember
anything the next day,
950
01:01:28,398 --> 01:01:30,332
let alone a year later.
951
01:01:32,469 --> 01:01:35,097
What are the chances he would
hold on to something like that?
952
01:01:35,171 --> 01:01:37,162
I think he's bullshitting you.
953
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:40,801
That's the thing.
I don't know.
954
01:01:40,877 --> 01:01:43,243
I'd like to believe he is...
955
01:01:44,314 --> 01:01:46,145
but I'm not sure.
956
01:01:47,384 --> 01:01:49,147
I don't think he is.
957
01:01:50,453 --> 01:01:52,614
What are you going to do?
958
01:01:52,689 --> 01:01:55,385
I'll pay him the money.
What do you think?
959
01:01:55,458 --> 01:01:57,449
- Why?
- Why?
960
01:01:57,527 --> 01:02:01,019
Take a look around you.
I worked hard to get where I am,
961
01:02:01,097 --> 01:02:02,689
and I won't let
some pissant take it away.
962
01:02:02,766 --> 01:02:06,634
- $50,000 is a lot of money.
- It's a gamble.
963
01:02:06,703 --> 01:02:08,967
I just hope
this is it after this.
964
01:02:09,039 --> 01:02:12,338
Then we can threaten him
with extortion after paying him.
965
01:02:12,409 --> 01:02:16,038
That's insane! Why should we give him
anything after what he did?!
966
01:02:16,112 --> 01:02:18,637
- "We" aren't giving him anything.
- Fine.
967
01:02:18,715 --> 01:02:21,650
Then what you should do
is use the money
968
01:02:21,718 --> 01:02:23,879
to hire somebody
to storm into his shitty house,
969
01:02:23,953 --> 01:02:27,218
beat his ass, get the video
and then we'd be done with him.
970
01:02:27,290 --> 01:02:30,054
He's a crazy old fuck.
How much of a threat can he be?
971
01:02:30,126 --> 01:02:31,093
Ed: Are these yours?
972
01:02:34,030 --> 01:02:37,522
You should never have
cut school today, young man.
973
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:41,730
- See what happens when you're truant?
- (laughter)
974
01:02:47,177 --> 01:02:50,112
Dad, he don't look so good.
975
01:02:50,180 --> 01:02:52,410
And you do?
976
01:02:52,482 --> 01:02:55,178
- Right now, let's go!
- Dad!
977
01:02:55,251 --> 01:02:57,151
He smells like shit again.
978
01:02:57,220 --> 01:02:59,518
- I do not!
- Ed: Stop.
979
01:02:59,589 --> 01:03:03,423
Gino, do you plan
on fucking it sometime today?
980
01:03:05,028 --> 01:03:07,087
Well, I was thinking,
981
01:03:07,163 --> 01:03:10,860
since he doesn't
look so great...
982
01:03:12,168 --> 01:03:15,831
- what if I just finger-fuck it?
- Oh God.
983
01:03:15,905 --> 01:03:19,705
Dad, Gino's scared of
the little man's tiny hole.
984
01:03:22,112 --> 01:03:23,841
I wish you would, fecal freak!
985
01:03:23,913 --> 01:03:25,938
Did you ever see that movie?
986
01:03:26,015 --> 01:03:28,415
This little guy around his age...
987
01:03:28,485 --> 01:03:30,544
he's walking to school
and gets kidnapped.
988
01:03:30,620 --> 01:03:32,212
Next thing you know,
989
01:03:32,288 --> 01:03:35,018
some psychic sticks her nose
where it doesn't belong.
990
01:03:35,091 --> 01:03:36,956
In the end, the kid gets saved,
991
01:03:37,026 --> 01:03:39,460
lives to see the light
of another day.
992
01:03:39,529 --> 01:03:41,360
Damned her clairvoyant ass anyway.
993
01:03:41,431 --> 01:03:43,422
No fortuneteller will come
busting through that door
994
01:03:43,500 --> 01:03:45,627
to save your sweet little hide.
995
01:03:45,702 --> 01:03:47,636
I'll tell you what will happen.
996
01:03:47,704 --> 01:03:49,968
You will take my man-size cock
997
01:03:50,039 --> 01:03:51,904
between your pretty little lips.
998
01:03:51,975 --> 01:03:53,875
Then, it's time
to give up the ghost.
999
01:03:53,943 --> 01:03:56,309
I'm not sure you know
what that means.
1000
01:03:56,379 --> 01:03:58,779
It's pain. It's darkness...
1001
01:03:58,848 --> 01:04:00,145
forever.
1002
01:04:00,216 --> 01:04:02,184
You're gonna die,
you dainty little fuck!
1003
01:04:10,260 --> 01:04:13,559
This is how I kiss.
1004
01:04:18,501 --> 01:04:21,834
And I'm gonna kiss you all over.
1005
01:04:25,041 --> 01:04:27,601
If there was a way
to be certain...
1006
01:04:28,845 --> 01:04:32,042
You should have done
something at the time.
1007
01:04:32,115 --> 01:04:34,049
It's fucking ironic
is what it is.
1008
01:04:34,117 --> 01:04:36,950
A year ago, we could have
nailed his ass to the wall.
1009
01:04:38,388 --> 01:04:41,721
It's a little too late for
"should haves" and "could haves."
1010
01:04:43,026 --> 01:04:46,587
What I have to worry about now
is how to get the money to him
1011
01:04:46,663 --> 01:04:48,995
without any traces back to me.
1012
01:04:50,233 --> 01:04:52,793
This is unreal.
1013
01:04:52,869 --> 01:04:54,996
He's going to get away with it.
1014
01:05:06,816 --> 01:05:08,943
Clean it up.
1015
01:05:13,756 --> 01:05:17,248
- He means you too, genius.
- Go on and clean.
1016
01:05:17,327 --> 01:05:18,589
Quit it, Frankie.
1017
01:05:33,743 --> 01:05:35,108
Hello?
1018
01:05:35,178 --> 01:05:38,636
Ed: I know you have it.
You would never let me down.
1019
01:05:38,715 --> 01:05:41,309
- No.
- Your mama didn't raise no fool.
1020
01:05:41,384 --> 01:05:43,614
Cut the shit!
This ain't no tea party!
1021
01:05:43,686 --> 01:05:46,484
Feisty. Don't get wise
with me, Mr. Fuckface!
1022
01:05:46,556 --> 01:05:50,014
You're fucking with the bull.
You know where I'll stick those horns.
1023
01:05:50,093 --> 01:05:55,053
Here's the news.
You'll be looking for a '64 Skylark.
1024
01:05:55,131 --> 01:05:57,065
Damn, that was a good year.
1025
01:05:57,133 --> 01:06:00,102
My Frankie had his first piece
of dick in a car like that.
1026
01:06:00,169 --> 01:06:03,297
Anyway, pull up the back-seat
and put the case in.
1027
01:06:03,373 --> 01:06:06,035
After that,
tell that old bastard Barron
1028
01:06:06,109 --> 01:06:09,772
that's not quite what you wanted.
Can he suggest something else?
1029
01:06:09,846 --> 01:06:13,577
When he does, that's where
you'll find your end of the deal.
1030
01:06:13,650 --> 01:06:17,347
That yard has ears, boy.
So don't try pulling any slick shit.
1031
01:06:17,420 --> 01:06:19,149
Money, then the tape.
1032
01:06:19,222 --> 01:06:22,282
Anything else would be
a tragic fucking mistake.
1033
01:06:22,358 --> 01:06:23,985
Capice?
1034
01:06:25,094 --> 01:06:27,255
"Do not enter."
That's what you read.
1035
01:06:27,330 --> 01:06:28,661
Back it up.
1036
01:06:39,509 --> 01:06:42,501
Barron: Skylark?
I've got one. A '64.
1037
01:06:42,578 --> 01:06:46,070
I got to shoot straight shit with you.
She's an ugly old whore.
1038
01:06:46,149 --> 01:06:48,481
- Ain't much to look at it.
- Will: That's fine.
1039
01:06:54,791 --> 01:06:57,624
Joe-Joe, run to the pharmacy
and get me some eye douche.
1040
01:06:57,694 --> 01:07:00,458
- You do it!
- Chop! Chop!
1041
01:07:00,530 --> 01:07:02,930
Got to keep these monkeys dancing.
1042
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:05,661
What's with the case?
Are you a stockbroker?
1043
01:07:05,735 --> 01:07:06,827
No.
1044
01:07:06,903 --> 01:07:10,805
Holy shit!
You're not in the syndicate, are you?
1045
01:07:10,873 --> 01:07:13,103
One of those La Costra Nostra?
1046
01:07:13,176 --> 01:07:15,041
You got a machine gun in there?
1047
01:07:17,180 --> 01:07:19,045
No, I sell pools.
1048
01:07:19,115 --> 01:07:21,345
- Where's the car?
- You might as well be in the mob.
1049
01:07:21,417 --> 01:07:23,544
The prices you charge ain't
nothing but a shakedown anyway.
1050
01:07:23,619 --> 01:07:25,644
I sell them,
I don't own the company.
1051
01:07:25,722 --> 01:07:27,553
I heard that before.
1052
01:07:28,991 --> 01:07:30,253
Well...
1053
01:07:31,694 --> 01:07:33,821
here she is.
What do you think?
1054
01:07:36,432 --> 01:07:38,024
Barron:
Last one in the yard.
1055
01:07:38,101 --> 01:07:39,568
At least in this yard.
1056
01:07:39,635 --> 01:07:42,968
Yo, Pops, you got a problem
with one of Tony's aftermarkets.
1057
01:07:43,039 --> 01:07:45,803
Tell him to hold his water.
I'm with a customer.
1058
01:07:45,875 --> 01:07:48,742
He said, " Go to hell and get
your wrinkled ass on the phone."
1059
01:07:50,012 --> 01:07:52,879
Kick the tires.
Look it over, do something.
1060
01:07:52,949 --> 01:07:55,008
I'll be right back.
1061
01:08:16,239 --> 01:08:18,503
So what do you think?
Want me to gift-wrap her?
1062
01:08:18,574 --> 01:08:21,372
I was hoping you could suggest
something else.
1063
01:08:21,444 --> 01:08:24,140
Listen, Mr. Pool,
I have hundreds of cars.
1064
01:08:24,213 --> 01:08:26,147
You have to tell me
what you're looking for.
1065
01:08:26,215 --> 01:08:28,706
I'm not the Kreskin of the junkyard.
1066
01:08:28,785 --> 01:08:30,753
You are Mr. Barron, right?
1067
01:08:30,820 --> 01:08:32,845
I sure as shit
ain't jolly Saint Nick.
1068
01:08:36,492 --> 01:08:37,891
Shit.
1069
01:08:37,960 --> 01:08:39,791
I'd hate to be that guy.
1070
01:08:58,014 --> 01:09:00,209
Shit!
1071
01:09:00,283 --> 01:09:01,511
Fuck!
1072
01:09:01,584 --> 01:09:03,211
Damn!
1073
01:09:07,256 --> 01:09:09,747
What I'm saying is
he fucking ripped me off!
1074
01:09:09,826 --> 01:09:11,885
There still could be a tape.
1075
01:09:11,961 --> 01:09:13,826
Why wouldn't he at least
give you a copy,
1076
01:09:13,896 --> 01:09:16,023
just to let you know
he has one?
1077
01:09:16,098 --> 01:09:18,396
I think he's full of shit.
It doesn't make sense.
1078
01:09:18,468 --> 01:09:21,403
The fact that you think this guy deals
with anything on a rational level
1079
01:09:21,471 --> 01:09:24,463
speaks volumes
of how stupid you can be!
1080
01:09:26,909 --> 01:09:29,434
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
1081
01:09:30,713 --> 01:09:33,375
I know you're not used to me
being the voice of reason,
1082
01:09:33,449 --> 01:09:35,440
but you have to do something.
1083
01:09:35,518 --> 01:09:38,248
You gave him a chance,
you didn't get the tape.
1084
01:09:38,321 --> 01:09:40,152
You don't want to hear this,
1085
01:09:40,223 --> 01:09:43,488
- but you should go to the cops.
- Let's get something straight.
1086
01:09:43,559 --> 01:09:45,584
Calling the cops
is not an option.
1087
01:09:45,661 --> 01:09:47,891
Not until I decide it is.
1088
01:09:47,964 --> 01:09:51,161
He won't go away by himself.
You haven't given him a reason.
1089
01:09:52,602 --> 01:09:54,229
I know.
1090
01:09:55,872 --> 01:09:57,863
I'll be right back.
1091
01:10:05,515 --> 01:10:07,710
- Will: Hey!
- Ed: Shitting with the common man?
1092
01:10:07,783 --> 01:10:10,013
I thought they built a throne
for your golden asshole?
1093
01:10:10,086 --> 01:10:12,486
- What do you want?
- An autograph!
1094
01:10:12,555 --> 01:10:15,319
We got your money.
We spent some already.
1095
01:10:15,391 --> 01:10:19,725
We were talking over dinner
on how you were a sweet boy,
1096
01:10:19,795 --> 01:10:22,059
so beautiful
before the consummation.
1097
01:10:22,131 --> 01:10:25,328
So here's what's what:
We want an encore performance,
1098
01:10:25,401 --> 01:10:28,029
- where you get fucked hard.
- Fuck this shit!
1099
01:10:28,104 --> 01:10:31,403
Easy. I wouldn't recommend
declining the invite.
1100
01:10:31,474 --> 01:10:34,409
If I show that tape, you go back
to being a party whore.
1101
01:10:34,477 --> 01:10:37,412
You don't show up, you get fucked
in more ways than one.
1102
01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:40,108
I want to taste you again.
1103
01:10:40,182 --> 01:10:42,673
- Get your hands off me!
- Oooh...
1104
01:10:42,752 --> 01:10:46,153
that's how I like it.
I'll be in touch, Vulgar...
1105
01:10:47,323 --> 01:10:52,056
to let you know about the party.
Make sure your tits hang out.
1106
01:10:52,128 --> 01:10:53,789
If you don't follow my rules,
1107
01:10:53,863 --> 01:10:57,162
people might see things that could get
a corn-holer like yourself
1108
01:10:57,233 --> 01:10:59,758
into some pretty hot water.
1109
01:10:59,835 --> 01:11:02,099
I'm going to fuck you again!
1110
01:11:22,792 --> 01:11:25,226
Syd:
Shit! What happened?
1111
01:11:25,294 --> 01:11:26,921
What happened?
1112
01:11:26,996 --> 01:11:28,463
He was waiting
for me in the bathroom.
1113
01:11:28,531 --> 01:11:29,691
Shit!
1114
01:11:29,765 --> 01:11:32,529
- Syd: Did you call security?
- They're gone.
1115
01:11:32,602 --> 01:11:33,967
Fuck.
1116
01:11:34,036 --> 01:11:35,697
What did he say?
1117
01:11:35,771 --> 01:11:37,238
He said...
1118
01:11:39,508 --> 01:11:42,204
he said he wants us
to kill him.
1119
01:11:49,352 --> 01:11:51,320
Hey, man!
1120
01:11:51,387 --> 01:11:54,481
- Have you seen my shirt?
- You're wearing a shirt.
1121
01:11:54,557 --> 01:11:56,286
Get back inside.
1122
01:11:57,360 --> 01:12:00,887
Good to see you. Haven't been down
at the car wash in a while.
1123
01:12:00,963 --> 01:12:02,487
You know that tall jigger Lamont,
1124
01:12:02,565 --> 01:12:04,396
started working there
about a month ago?
1125
01:12:04,467 --> 01:12:06,765
No. Can we go inside?
1126
01:12:06,836 --> 01:12:10,033
He's this big jerk-off claims
I owe him 20 bucks.
1127
01:12:10,106 --> 01:12:11,664
"Fuck that shit," I said.
1128
01:12:11,741 --> 01:12:14,209
That's when... bam!...
he hits me in the mouth!
1129
01:12:14,276 --> 01:12:16,471
Like I said, he's pretty tall,
1130
01:12:16,545 --> 01:12:20,379
so I'm going to stay away
till he cools down.
1131
01:12:20,449 --> 01:12:22,007
Sounds like a good idea.
1132
01:12:22,084 --> 01:12:23,881
Yeah, Lamont, he's...
1133
01:12:23,953 --> 01:12:28,253
as tall as Jay James, but he's got
the muscles of James, Sr.
1134
01:12:28,324 --> 01:12:31,088
He walks around
like he owns the place,
1135
01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:34,425
slapping people in the mouth,
taking people's jumpsuits.
1136
01:12:34,497 --> 01:12:37,466
I fucking hate it
when that fuck's there.
1137
01:12:37,533 --> 01:12:39,763
Anybody around?
1138
01:12:47,009 --> 01:12:48,977
Don't mind the mess.
1139
01:12:49,045 --> 01:12:50,740
Hey, boy.
1140
01:12:52,014 --> 01:12:53,675
This is Larry.
1141
01:12:53,749 --> 01:12:55,842
I'm thinking of changing it
to something else.
1142
01:12:55,918 --> 01:12:58,352
That name reminds me
too much of Lamont.
1143
01:12:58,421 --> 01:13:01,413
- If only you were Lamont.
- Tuott.
1144
01:13:01,490 --> 01:13:02,821
Sorry.
1145
01:13:02,892 --> 01:13:04,917
Can you give me
a hand over here?
1146
01:13:08,731 --> 01:13:10,756
Can you believe I found this?
1147
01:13:10,833 --> 01:13:14,325
Right near the garbage
just waiting for pick-up day.
1148
01:13:15,671 --> 01:13:19,163
Between you and me,
I found it in some guy's garage.
1149
01:13:19,241 --> 01:13:21,266
I'm sure he would have
thrown them out.
1150
01:13:21,343 --> 01:13:23,243
What an idiot.
1151
01:13:23,312 --> 01:13:26,304
These two
don't have any bullets.
1152
01:13:26,382 --> 01:13:28,043
That's a BB gun.
1153
01:13:28,117 --> 01:13:29,084
Oh.
1154
01:13:29,151 --> 01:13:32,552
These two do have bullets.
1155
01:13:32,621 --> 01:13:35,351
And they come with these things
that go on the end.
1156
01:13:35,424 --> 01:13:37,415
- Silencers?
- Yeah.
1157
01:13:37,493 --> 01:13:39,586
They make the gunshots, uh...
1158
01:13:39,662 --> 01:13:41,960
My friend told me that.
1159
01:13:42,031 --> 01:13:45,831
He said it's good because
they don't have serial numbers.
1160
01:13:45,901 --> 01:13:47,960
You need any skag?
1161
01:13:48,037 --> 01:13:49,561
No, I'm good.
1162
01:13:49,638 --> 01:13:51,970
(mo to r running)
1163
01:13:55,411 --> 01:13:57,641
Will: Do you feel like
you're going to throw up?
1164
01:13:57,713 --> 01:14:00,011
I do.
1165
01:14:00,082 --> 01:14:02,573
Where did you get this car?
Whose is it?
1166
01:14:02,651 --> 01:14:05,848
Would you calm down?
You're making me nervous.
1167
01:14:05,921 --> 01:14:09,015
I bought it for cash.
It's untraceable.
1168
01:14:09,091 --> 01:14:12,185
One of Tuott's associates
helped me a little.
1169
01:14:12,261 --> 01:14:14,525
Will: I can't believe
so much of our faith
1170
01:14:14,597 --> 01:14:16,861
is placed in an arch-junkie.
1171
01:14:16,932 --> 01:14:19,526
We wouldn't have gotten this far
if it weren't for him.
1172
01:14:19,602 --> 01:14:21,627
Will:
Thank God for Tuott.
1173
01:14:22,872 --> 01:14:25,705
I want to be certain of one thing.
1174
01:14:25,775 --> 01:14:27,572
Are you still 100% on this?
1175
01:14:27,643 --> 01:14:30,476
Yes. I told you that already.
1176
01:14:30,546 --> 01:14:33,106
I'm not going in there
to have you pussy on me.
1177
01:14:33,182 --> 01:14:36,345
- We have to be in and out.
- I know.
1178
01:14:36,418 --> 01:14:39,581
The longer we stay, the better chance
we have of getting caught.
1179
01:14:39,655 --> 01:14:41,816
And if we get caught,
we go to jail.
1180
01:14:41,891 --> 01:14:43,882
And what they did to you
will seem like
1181
01:14:43,959 --> 01:14:46,257
a church social compared to
what goes on in prison.
1182
01:14:46,328 --> 01:14:48,353
You've never even gotten
a speeding ticket.
1183
01:14:48,430 --> 01:14:49,863
How would you know?
1184
01:14:49,932 --> 01:14:52,901
Did you ever see "Caged Heat"?
It is the same thing,
1185
01:14:52,968 --> 01:14:55,835
except totally different,
because you're with guys.
1186
01:14:58,541 --> 01:15:01,305
- Got some coffee change?
- Sure don't.
1187
01:15:01,377 --> 01:15:04,574
Come on, just a quarter.
It won't break your bank.
1188
01:15:04,647 --> 01:15:06,945
Bum:
Fuck you, tightfist!
1189
01:15:09,985 --> 01:15:12,180
My legs feel like rubber.
1190
01:15:12,254 --> 01:15:14,654
Maybe they thought
we called the cops.
1191
01:15:14,723 --> 01:15:17,487
- I doubt they're even in there.
- They're in there.
1192
01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:20,688
- I'm scared.
- So am I.
1193
01:15:20,763 --> 01:15:24,631
All right. Just walk in,
do what you have to do...
1194
01:15:24,700 --> 01:15:27,533
in and out. Can't be
any more dramatic than that.
1195
01:15:27,603 --> 01:15:31,198
- I'll be right behind you.
- I sure hope so.
1196
01:15:47,556 --> 01:15:49,251
Hold on.
1197
01:15:49,325 --> 01:15:51,122
Is it him, Dad?
1198
01:15:51,193 --> 01:15:53,559
- Please God, let it be him.
- Ed: Hold on.
1199
01:15:57,666 --> 01:16:01,227
Gentlemen,
the hole has arrived.
1200
01:16:03,572 --> 01:16:05,972
- Frankie: Woo-hoo!
- Calm down!
1201
01:16:06,041 --> 01:16:07,736
Don't go blowing
your loads yet.
1202
01:16:10,312 --> 01:16:12,780
Boom-boom, in and out.
1203
01:16:19,855 --> 01:16:22,483
- Ed: Are you alone?
- What do you think?
1204
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:27,458
Get your candy ass
in here, then!
1205
01:16:35,571 --> 01:16:38,131
You must think your shit
smells like a spring rain.
1206
01:16:38,207 --> 01:16:40,266
Walk right by me
like I wasn't a person.
1207
01:16:40,342 --> 01:16:43,277
Next time I ask you a question,
answer me.
1208
01:16:43,345 --> 01:16:45,245
- Got it?
- Yeah.
1209
01:16:49,585 --> 01:16:52,179
It's mine now, motherfucker!
1210
01:16:56,659 --> 01:17:00,117
What do we have here, huh?
1211
01:17:00,195 --> 01:17:03,426
Look at you
and all your finery.
1212
01:17:03,499 --> 01:17:06,195
Isn't he easy on the eyes?
1213
01:17:06,268 --> 01:17:09,465
Not really, Pop.
1214
01:17:13,175 --> 01:17:15,268
Give me a hand, buttercup.
1215
01:17:15,344 --> 01:17:17,904
Let me lead you on a trip
down on memory lane.
1216
01:17:17,980 --> 01:17:20,107
Do him like
you did last time, Dad.
1217
01:17:20,182 --> 01:17:22,650
Frankie: Gino, last time,
Daddy had him...
1218
01:17:22,718 --> 01:17:27,280
- I know, because I was there.
- No, you weren't, liar!
1219
01:17:27,356 --> 01:17:30,018
You're such an idiot!
You know what I'm going to do?
1220
01:17:30,092 --> 01:17:32,424
I'll take you
to court for slander.
1221
01:17:32,494 --> 01:17:36,692
- You're a law-breaking freak.
- Frankie: What are you talking about?
1222
01:17:40,436 --> 01:17:42,529
Shut up!
You're scaring him!
1223
01:17:49,812 --> 01:17:52,406
Show us what you got hiding
under there.
1224
01:18:03,392 --> 01:18:06,884
- Gino, are you getting this?
- Yes. I'm not stupid.
1225
01:18:07,963 --> 01:18:09,931
A little more.
1226
01:18:19,441 --> 01:18:21,272
Shut that goddamn thing off!
1227
01:18:22,978 --> 01:18:26,072
I think somebody was fuzzy
with the instructions.
1228
01:18:26,148 --> 01:18:28,139
What were you thinking
when you got dressed?
1229
01:18:28,217 --> 01:18:30,242
You're here for me tonight.
1230
01:18:30,319 --> 01:18:34,119
Did that slip by you?
Are you brain damaged?
1231
01:18:36,392 --> 01:18:39,418
Turn it on. Don't miss
one second of this.
1232
01:18:39,495 --> 01:18:41,690
High and hard until we beat
the shit out of him.
1233
01:18:41,764 --> 01:18:44,528
High and hard. No other way
with a fuck like this.
1234
01:18:44,600 --> 01:18:45,862
Ed: You treat him...
1235
01:18:46,835 --> 01:18:48,564
- Gino: Don't shoot.
- (gun clicks)
1236
01:18:48,637 --> 01:18:50,662
Gino: We're sorry.
1237
01:18:50,739 --> 01:18:52,229
Oh God.
1238
01:18:54,076 --> 01:18:55,634
Is that the game
we're playing?
1239
01:18:55,711 --> 01:18:58,236
You try to kill my boys,
my flesh and blood?
1240
01:18:58,313 --> 01:19:01,441
As it stands, you've got the hardest
night of your life ahead of you.
1241
01:19:01,517 --> 01:19:03,883
I hope you watched
the sun rise this morning,
1242
01:19:03,952 --> 01:19:06,386
- 'cause it was your last chance.
- Suck it!
1243
01:19:06,455 --> 01:19:07,547
Want me to shoot him?
1244
01:19:07,623 --> 01:19:09,420
Let me fucking shoot him,
Daddy!
1245
01:19:09,491 --> 01:19:12,460
How does it feel?
You know what's coming?
1246
01:19:13,629 --> 01:19:16,792
Don't fool with that thing.
Dad, tell him to put it down.
1247
01:19:16,865 --> 01:19:18,833
Shut up, chicken-shit!
1248
01:19:18,901 --> 01:19:21,563
Cut it out!
Dad, he's gonna hurt somebody.
1249
01:19:21,637 --> 01:19:24,470
Ed: Frankie, listen to your brother
and put the gun away!
1250
01:19:28,744 --> 01:19:30,405
Frankie?
1251
01:19:31,480 --> 01:19:32,538
Frankie?
1252
01:19:32,614 --> 01:19:34,445
Frankie!
You'll be all right.
1253
01:19:34,516 --> 01:19:36,108
Just a couple
of stitches you'll need.
1254
01:19:37,186 --> 01:19:39,086
Frankie.
1255
01:19:39,154 --> 01:19:41,088
Listen to your dad!
1256
01:19:41,156 --> 01:19:43,624
Why did you do that
to my brother?
1257
01:19:45,094 --> 01:19:48,325
My brother!
You fucking, fuckhead!
1258
01:19:48,397 --> 01:19:49,625
You fucking pervert!
1259
01:19:53,669 --> 01:19:54,829
(kno cking)
1260
01:19:54,903 --> 01:19:56,996
Bum: I got your man.
I want some money!
1261
01:20:04,780 --> 01:20:07,340
Syd, get up!
1262
01:20:07,416 --> 01:20:09,111
I fucked up.
We're going to get caught.
1263
01:20:09,184 --> 01:20:11,744
- What were we thinking?
- Stop it. You didn't fuck up.
1264
01:20:11,820 --> 01:20:15,415
- Yes, I did!
- You didn't! We won't get caught!
1265
01:20:20,562 --> 01:20:24,123
Get into the car and
out of here, all right?
1266
01:20:24,199 --> 01:20:26,394
- Get out of here!
- What about you?
1267
01:20:26,468 --> 01:20:29,562
I'll meet you back
at the house. Go!
1268
01:21:19,188 --> 01:21:20,746
All right.
You caught me.
1269
01:21:20,822 --> 01:21:22,653
Now what are you gonna do?
Shoot me?
1270
01:21:22,724 --> 01:21:25,693
Go ahead,
you piece of shit. Do it.
1271
01:21:25,761 --> 01:21:28,924
It doesn't matter anyway.
You're finished, fuck-face!
1272
01:21:28,997 --> 01:21:30,931
Finished!
You're a murderer now.
1273
01:21:30,999 --> 01:21:34,457
You killed my boys.
You're going to prison. I have proof.
1274
01:21:35,537 --> 01:21:37,801
You don't have it
in you anyway.
1275
01:21:39,808 --> 01:21:42,402
You're shaking.
Even in this light I can see it.
1276
01:21:42,477 --> 01:21:45,344
You're scared.
Just lie down and take it.
1277
01:21:45,414 --> 01:21:47,541
I know you haven't got the guts.
1278
01:21:47,616 --> 01:21:48,981
So do you.
1279
01:21:54,656 --> 01:21:56,419
Not like this.
1280
01:21:56,491 --> 01:21:59,051
By this fuck.
1281
01:22:03,031 --> 01:22:05,625
Goddamn you, fuck-face!
1282
01:22:58,153 --> 01:23:00,280
Fuck you!
1283
01:23:33,455 --> 01:23:35,923
Kids: Flappy! Flappy!
1284
01:23:40,595 --> 01:23:42,790
Get down!
1285
01:23:59,414 --> 01:24:03,407
Well, once again,
injustice KO'd by Flappy,
1286
01:24:03,485 --> 01:24:08,149
of Flappy Funhouse fame
and our Special Girl Friday, Bella.
1287
01:24:08,223 --> 01:24:11,351
- Let's have a big round of applause!
- (kids cheer and applaud)
1288
01:24:11,426 --> 01:24:14,452
And let's have a bigger round
of good-natured boos
1289
01:24:14,529 --> 01:24:16,690
for our purveyors of
quite a bit of nastiness
1290
01:24:16,765 --> 01:24:18,392
around Flappy's Funhouse.
1291
01:24:18,467 --> 01:24:20,833
Our criminal clown brigade!
1292
01:24:25,674 --> 01:24:27,972
- Thanks, Bella.
- Ow!
1293
01:24:29,911 --> 01:24:33,210
Now, that's all the time
we have for today, kids.
1294
01:24:35,684 --> 01:24:38,414
Don't be like these guys.
Stay in school,
1295
01:24:38,487 --> 01:24:41,854
and take care of yourselves.
'Cause you know what?
1296
01:24:41,923 --> 01:24:45,324
Kids: You're the only you
you've got.
1297
01:24:45,394 --> 01:24:47,885
And I'm not clowning around.
1298
01:24:53,735 --> 01:24:56,761
# Kids, don't feel down,
'cause guess who's in town? #
1299
01:24:56,838 --> 01:24:59,739
# You know who's around?
Flappy the clown #
1300
01:24:59,808 --> 01:25:02,641
# If you feel blue,
he'll smile for you #
1301
01:25:02,711 --> 01:25:05,646
# He knows what to do,
flappin' at you #
1302
01:25:05,714 --> 01:25:08,615
# When you're not sure
if you'll see the light of day #
1303
01:25:08,683 --> 01:25:12,585
# He'll make you smile and play
with you, he does it every day #
1304
01:25:12,654 --> 01:25:15,919
# Hey! Kids, don't feel down,
'cause guess who's in town? #
1305
01:25:15,991 --> 01:25:19,483
# You know who's around?
Flappy the clown #
1306
01:25:44,152 --> 01:25:47,053
# Kids, don't feel down,
'cause guess who's in town? #
1307
01:25:47,122 --> 01:25:50,182
# You know who's around?
Flappy the clown #
1308
01:25:50,258 --> 01:25:53,056
# If you feel blue
he'll smile for you #
1309
01:25:53,128 --> 01:25:56,029
# He knows what to do,
flappin' at you #
1310
01:25:56,097 --> 01:25:59,191
# When you're not sure
if you'll see the light of day #
1311
01:25:59,267 --> 01:26:02,634
# He'll make you smile and play
with you, he does it every day #
1312
01:26:04,506 --> 01:26:06,133
# Hey! #
1313
01:26:12,547 --> 01:26:15,448
# Kids, don't feel down,
guess who's in town? #
1314
01:26:15,517 --> 01:26:18,850
# You know who's around?
Flappy the clown #
1315
01:26:18,920 --> 01:26:21,252
# If you feel blue,
he'll smile for you #
1316
01:26:21,323 --> 01:26:24,520
# He knows what to do,
flappin' at you #
1317
01:26:24,593 --> 01:26:27,562
# So when you're not sure
if you'll see the light of day #
1318
01:26:27,629 --> 01:26:32,760
# He'll make you smile and play
with you, he does it every day #
1319
01:26:32,834 --> 01:26:36,326
# Hey! Kids, don't feel down,
'cause guess who's in town? #
1320
01:26:36,404 --> 01:26:39,635
# You know who's around?
Flappy the clown #
1321
01:26:50,552 --> 01:26:53,851
# Hey! Kids don't feel down,
'cause guess who's in town? #
1322
01:26:53,922 --> 01:26:57,722
# You know who's around?
Flappy the clown. #
102483
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Icelandic
Irish
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tatar
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Welsh
Wolof