All language subtitles for Storm.Warning..2007.DVDRip.AC3-DEViSE(1-2)

No, I'm not a sausage.

Non. Non, c'est trois not do it.

Ah, bravo. Bravo.

Ah, bravo. Voila.

You are bilingual now.

You're the sausage,
mate, not me.

Non, non, do it.

J'adore quand tu parle francais.

You know, I- I don't really care
what you say.

It sounds good. Heh heh.

I spoke to your mom
this morning.

- You spoke to my mom?
- Uh-huh.

She's devious, my mother.

She tried to speak French to me.

What she was trying-
She was-

- She was trying to nag in French.
- Yeah.

- She wants to cover all bases.
- Yeah.

Why do you think she likes you so much?

Because I'm the best.
Look what you had before me.

Well, she didn't like any
of my other girlfriends.

No. Look at me.

Look at you.

Of course she loves me.

I cook well. I'm an artist.

I'm French and talented,

and I live with you.

She told me that you had a nose job,

- and I thought that was sort of gay.
- I had a what?

What did I have?

A nose job.

- Nose job? I didn't get a nose job.
- I was-

- Yes.
- She said nice job. She said I got a nice job.

Yeah, nice job.
Honey, I want to see-

Thank you.

Thanks, mate.

Ready to rock, baby?

- That's it?
- That's it.

So they let us take the boat out
without knowing anything?

Just leave
the technical stuff to me, babe.

- Okay, boss. You have a tag here.
- Come on, let's get on.

Okay?

Why you didn't get a bigger boat?

What's wrong with this boat?

It's a beautiful
handcrafted timber boat.

Old-fashioned, like me.

Easy.

I wish for fish

for a fine fish dish.

I thought you had a busy week-

We dropped the case.

You've dropped
the Chapman case?

Well, we can't win.
Their word against hers, so...

Yeah, we dropped the case.

But they raped her.

Well, they say they didn't do it.

That's the problem with crime:
the crooks always deny it.

- It's a real bitch.
- And you're okay with this?

If it were up to me,
I'd have the shit kicked out of them,

then I'd have them locked up,
but it's not up to me.

- So, you get raped-
- Oh, come on, sweetheart. Can't we just-

So, you get raped,
and you just forget it

because the courts are
all stacked against you?

Sorry, Mrs. Chapman.
Tough turkey, huh?

Tough ditty, babe.

Ditty.

I don't- I don't understand.

I mean, justice. Yeah.

Come on, baby.

Let's have a little drink, a little topper.

Whoa, Baby! That's you!
Come on! Come on! Reel it in!

No, you do it!

No, honey, it's your pole,
it's your fish.

Just... round, round.
That bit there.

It won't go. Please do it.

Give it here.

I got it. Ooh, that's a monster.

- It's a big one. Whoa!
- Wha-

- Yeah!
- Whoo! Whoo!

No, don't kill it!

No, do not! Don't kill it!

It's a flathead.

That's disgusting.

Yeah, well, that's fishing, baby.

Weather's changed.

Pushing us north.

What's happened
to our nice, sunny day, babe?

Let's go back. It's getting cold.

Looks like it'll pass over.

Let's swing around
those heads,

come on back,
just past those mangroves.

What do you reckon?

Yeah, let's do it.

Come on, weigh anchor.

There we go.

Voila.

Voila.

We are lost, aren't we?

Well, it's too shallow
for the outboard.

I guess the tide goes out quickly around here.

What does that mean?

That means...

that's for you...

and this is for me.

Okay, where are we going now?

Well, we know the tide
runs back into the bay,

so I guess we just go with it.

It's getting shallower, Rob.

Where are we?

We're in a drain.

A what?

Agricultural drain.

Probably caught
in a non-eccentric drainage paddock.

You bring me boating in a drain?

I'm full of surprises.

I think we've come
about a mile inland,

so gotta be some farms
around here somewhere.

What are you doing now?

I'm just gonna climb up,
have a look.

Just for a... look.

We've been going in circles.

All right, I fucked up. I'm sorry.

I can't believe this.

We can't float, we can't walk,

and- and I'm tired now.

Come on, babe.
There's nothing we can do about it.

Let's just pretend we're castaways.

That's what we are,
castaways, damn you.

There's a building
or something up ahead.

I'm gonna go scout around.

You coming,
or you gonna wait here?

No, I'd like to wait here, Rob,
with the crabs and mosquitoes.

There's still
no reception, of course.

Jesus. How many times
do I gotta apologize?

Shh-shh-shh-shh.

See?

Stop it. Stay here. Look around.

What are they doing?

I don't like it. Let's go.

Let's go.

Look up there.

Wait here.

There's a farmhouse
or something up there.

It'll be fine.

- A farm?
- Yeah. Yeah.

We'll get a taxi back to the car,
drinking margaritas by midday.

Come on.

Hello.

There's nobody here.

Wait here. I'll check the back.

Okay. Be careful.

Hey.

It's all right. It's all right.

Is anybody here?

It's okay. There's no one here.

Are you sure we should be

just breaking into
somebody's house?

We're not breaking in.
There's no one there.

Come on.

Oh, my God.

I think pigs live here.

Any port in a storm.

Oh, that's disgusting.

I feel like Goldilocks.

Here's your three bears.

I'm gonna take a look around,
see if I can find a phone.

Be careful.

Ah, fuck.

Rob!

Rob!

Somebody's outside.

Come on, we gotta
get out of here. Come on.

Get out of my fucking house!

Don't make me come in there
and drag you fuckers out!

I'm gonna blow your
fucking brains out!

Get out of the fucking house!

Listen, mate, my name's Rob Brewer.
We didn't-

I'm not your mate, Robert.

Get the fuck out of my house!

Look, we were just
out boating, and-

Listen, we don't-

Oh, hey. Hey.

Come on, we-

Now, what you fucking
doing in there, slick?

We were just out, uh, boating,

and, uh, you know, we, uh,

we were so tired, we got lost,

and we saw your light.

We just thought-

Thought you'd make
yourself at home, eh?

No, no, no, no, no.

The back door was open.
We, uh-

Oh, the back door was...
the back door was open.

We'd just like to use
your phone, please.

That's all, all right?

You don't have a phone?

If we could just get
to the nearest, um-

The nearest anything's
26 mile away, slick.

Well, if you fellows could take us there,

I'd be happy to fix you up
for any expenses.

Oh, that is rich.

You're gonna fix us up
with what, slick?

Well, if you could just...

point us to the nearest
main road,

we'll be on our way
and there won't be any trouble.

You really are lost, aren't ya?

Lost, huh? Fucking!

There's no main roads
around here, slick.

You're on an island.

French Island?
We're on French Island.

When is the ferry-

Shh-shh-shh.

You go and get Poppy out of the truck.
You put him to bed.

If he sees these two,
he's gonna fucking freak.

Fuck!

Sorry about my brother there.

But he gets a bit excited.

Please.

After all, you can't be too careful, eh?

Lot of creeps come around,
bustin' into houses and shit.

Please, if you could just take us-

What's that?

I said if you could just take us to-

Oh, ha ha ha!

You got yourself
a frog chick, eh?

You're a real Frenchie
on French Island, eh?

Hey, doll, see this?

I found him on the side of the road.

You like kangaroos, darling?

Yes.

Yes?

Want to pet him?

Go on, he won't bite.

Aah!

I might, though.

You out boating, you say?

Yeah.

Her car's back at the boat harbor.

Please, if you could just take us
to the nearest phone.

The switchboard in Tankerton
closes at 7:30, darling.

The switchboard closes?

What, are you fucking deaf?

Closes at 7:30!

No, this isn't the city out here, slick.

You're in the boonies now.

We go for weeks without
seeing shit out here.

That there's Poppy.

Yeah, he's kind of
a tired little camper.

He's had a very big day.

This place Tankerton,

if you could just take us to a hotel.

What hotel's that, darlin'?

Yeah, would you like the Tankerton Regency
or the Island Hilton?

So you had a bit of a look
around the property before we got here?

There's, um-

There's gotta be some way
we can contact someone-

Come on, slick.

It's coming down
cats and dogs out there.

Plenty of room here.

Now, tomorrow,
I'll drive you in to Tankerton.

How's that?

You probably want to get out of them
clammy wet suits, or what?

Yeah, look like you could use

a hot shower
and some dry clothes.

The both of you'se.

Yes, please.

All right, You get started,

I'll boil you up some water
for your shower.

We don't want to put
you to any trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble, darling.

Not yet, anyway.

You go on outside.

Shower's on the back porch there.

Towels are inside the door.

Here you go.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, slick.

What sort of car?

Car?

This car you got, what sort is it?

It's a Volvo 870.

Go on, Volvo.

Fucking Volvo!

We gotta get out of here.

You're telling me?

We're talking cavemen here.

These guys are sick.

There's a shed full
of marijuana out the back.

They're growing the stuff. A lot of it.

It's none of our business.

They're not gonna let us
walk away from here.

There's enough pot there
to put these guys away for 10 years.

Honey, they're not gonna let us go.

We gotta get the cops back here.

- I knew we shouldn't have-
- Listen.

They don't know that we know.

Okay? Just play it cool, babe.

They're the ones we saw before.

What were they doing to that boy?

I don't know. I don't know.

My best guess would be
just to do what they say.

The first chance we get,
we'll take off, okay?

Okay.

Okay?

It's going to be okay.

It's okay, baby.

- Yeah.
- I love you.

Where are our clothes?

They're gone.

And our wet suits?

They're gone.

They're fucking with us. Put this on.

Put it on.

This is bad.

You wait here.

Where are you going?

- Just wait.
- No, please.

Bring me along, please.

You just wait. I'll fix it.

- No.
- Wait.

You're all right.

You wake Poppy, you know
what's gonna fucking happen!

We can't seem to find
the pants you guys gave us.

Well, that's a fucking mystery.

Come on. You gonna give us
some pants or what?

Not up to your Volvo
standards, huh, boss?

Listen, my wife's scared.
We're both tired.

Give us a break, will ya?

Give you a break?

You fucking yuppie tort rat.

You fuck up out
in the water, hmm?

You break into our house.

And then you help yourself
to our private fucking property,

and then you bitch and moan
because we ain't got a phone.

You are fucking
unbelievable, sunshine.

So what do you want? Hmm?

Do you want my trousers?

No, no, no, no. 'Cause...

I'm not the one who fucked up.

You fucked up.

You are starting
to give me the shits.

I think you better
wake the old guy up.

I want to speak to him.

Oh, no, no, no. That wouldn't be
a good idea at all.

Then can we have
our wet suits back?

What, those heavy things?

What, do you wanna catch
a cold and give it to us?

No, you see, this is
a working farm, slick.

It's hard enough
to scratch out a living

without some city
butt-stain coming in here

and treating this place
like his own private shit can.

You are an inconsiderate bastard.

Considering how you
tracked dirt and shit

all the way through
this fucking house.

You've left the tap running outside.

You've wasted half a tank of water.

And you left the lights
on in the back shed.

Now, what's your
old lady like as a cook?

They know about the drugs.

I think we should do
what they say, baby.

Jimmy, get her to say somethin'
in froggy talk. Go on.

Darling.

Darling?

Say something in frog talk.

Give me some
of that fucking...

parl�z-vous, oui-oui lingo.

Oui-oui lingo.

Fucking...

Go on.

That is fucking sexy.

What'd you say, pussycat?

- It's a-
- It's a Gallic folk song.

Mothers sing it to their children.

My cup's empty, captain.

Yeah, a thin dick!

Hey, Volvo,

I want you to show us
your old lady's ass.

Let's see if that's
as good as an Aussie ass.

This has gone far enough.

We just wanna see your old lady's booty.

We did you a favor,
now you do us a fucking favor.

- Quid pro fucking quo!
- Quo! Quo!

Forget it.

What, now you're telling me
what I can and can't do

in my own fucking house, Volvo?

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

No, no, no. No. No.

It doesn't matter, Rob. Please.

That's enough.

Who the fuck is talking
to you, Volvo, eh?

Now, my drink
is still empty, captain.

What the fuck's this for?

You burned the fucking eggs!

What are we supposed
to do with this shit, eh?

What is this? This your parl�z-vous
fucking whore cuisine, is it?

What, you serve that to Volvo, eh?

Well, that's fucking great.

See those?

That's the last of the eggs.

Now what the fuck
are we gonna do for dinner?

Eh? What are we
gonna do for dinner?

'Cause Brett and me,
we're hungry, aren't we, Brett?

I suppose maybe
you could help me, huh?

Uh-huh.

'Cause Brett and me, we're hungry,

and we wanna know what the fuck
you're gonna do about it!

Come on, it's just
a fucking animal. Kill it.

I can't.

It's just a fucking wallaby.

Thousands of these little fuckers
die on the roads every night.

Come on, cut it!

- I'll cut it, Jim.
- Ah, ah.

What are you, one of these bleeding heart
motherfuckers?

Eh?

Save all the fuzzy fucking creatures.

I just don't kill things.

Oh, oh.

Well- Well, I guess we could
just stain the little fucker

while he's still alive, eh, Brett?

I mean, how inhumane
is that gonna be, eh?

Fucking kill the fucker!

Leave her alone, will you?

God, you've got some balls,
eh, Volvo?

No! Just leave her alone.

You got some
fucking balls, huh?

Leave her alone, please!

Let's see what your fucking yuppie balls
look like, eh?

Maybe we can fry 'em up
with Scooby there.

Wouldn't be the first time we taste
the old long big, eh, Brett?

- Please.
- Poppy says we shouldn't talk about that.

Maybe we take your
fucking kidneys, eh?

Just cut 'em right out

and we'll feed the scraps
to Honky, eh?

Now you hold real still, slick,

'cause this is gonna hurt
just a little fucking bit.

Ooh-wee, doggie!

Looks like you're the one

with the balls, darling.

Shh.

It's all right.

Please.

You-

You ought to be
a fucking chef, oui-oui.

You got a job in the city?

What do you do for crust, eh?

I'm an artist.

An artist.

What do you make?

A whole shit pile of money, or what?

I get by.

Yeah, I'll bet.

I bet you fucking get by.

And what about you, no-balls?

What do you do when
you're not getting lost

in a little fucking boat?

I'm a barrister.

What?

A barrister.

"Beeraster?"

You fucking beeraster.

Move to strike
or order a fucking beer!

It's Poppy.

Mmm...

Do you know what we do
for a dollar, darling?

No.

Are you sure?

I have no idea what you do.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Listen, my husband and I are tired.

If there's a place where we can-

Lie down your weary heads, huh?
Go, na-nas?

But, of course, oui-oui.

You must be exhausted!
Huh-huh!

It's been a big day for you, hasn't it?

Driving that heavy fucking Volvo

all the way out
from the city going boating.

Fishing.

Whatever the fuck you were doing.

Well...

I am sorry that we didn't
set up the suite for you.

But you...

can have the whole barn to yourselves.

How's that?

The barn will be fine, thank you.

The barn will be fine, love.

Jolly good, old cock.

Voila.

Get Honky to guard that fucking door.

Honky!

Honky!

Stupid mutt.

We're getting out of here.

You think they'll just let us run?

What about the dog?

We don't have a choice.

We are not gonna stick around
to see what happens next.

Okay.
Come on.

Come on.

This is too easy.

Go! Move!

- Is this the way back?
- Come on, go!

Is this the way back?

- Is this the track?
- Hurry up!

Move it!

Come on!

No. No!