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_
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- More matcha?
- Ah, I'm good. Thanks.
3
00:00:07,724 --> 00:00:11,000
You're probably wondering why I
summoned you here into the kitchen.
4
00:00:11,006 --> 00:00:12,952
No, not really. I was
just a few feet away
5
00:00:12,958 --> 00:00:14,158
swapping out laundry, so...
6
00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:16,729
As I'm sure you're aware,
Milo's 8th birthday is upon us.
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And I thought we might
discuss the best ways
8
00:00:18,691 --> 00:00:20,258
to orchestrate the festivities
9
00:00:20,264 --> 00:00:22,562
based on our new
system of boundaries.
10
00:00:22,568 --> 00:00:25,812
Mm-hmm. Okay. And what kind of
orchestrating did you have in mind?
11
00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:28,414
Two parties... one
day of, one day after.
12
00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:30,673
Two separate guest lists,
two separate themes,
13
00:00:30,679 --> 00:00:32,025
no mixed messages.
14
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,767
Separate themes? Good luck.
15
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,771
I mean, the only thing Milo
cares about is deep space.
16
00:00:36,777 --> 00:00:38,967
False. He has diverse interests.
17
00:00:38,973 --> 00:00:40,749
He's teaching
himself witchcraft.
18
00:00:41,279 --> 00:00:44,269
Okay, wait. Not only is it
financially irresponsible
19
00:00:44,275 --> 00:00:46,880
to have two parties, it's
plain, old unnecessary.
20
00:00:46,886 --> 00:00:49,065
We get along. Why do we
have to pretend we don't?
21
00:00:49,071 --> 00:00:50,754
Well, Mae's school
psychologist...
22
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,226
Look, we are more than capable
23
00:00:52,232 --> 00:00:54,422
of jointly hosting
a birthday party.
24
00:00:55,406 --> 00:00:59,711
- Well, it would be a lot simpler.
- Yeah. And Milo isn't Mae.
25
00:00:59,717 --> 00:01:01,609
He's still little. He
would want us both there.
26
00:01:01,615 --> 00:01:03,931
- You had me at "isn't Mae." I'm in.
- Heck yeah, you're in!
27
00:01:03,937 --> 00:01:06,547
We're co-parents, right?
Yeah. Let us co-parent.
28
00:01:06,553 --> 00:01:09,362
- I can't find Josh.
- Seriously?
29
00:01:09,368 --> 00:01:11,464
Did you look under your bed?
You know he likes it there.
30
00:01:11,470 --> 00:01:12,869
Bed. Did... did you
look under the bed?
31
00:01:12,875 --> 00:01:16,852
Please file this missing-turtles
report with the proper authorities.
32
00:01:19,944 --> 00:01:21,446
- Martin?
- Hm?
33
00:01:21,452 --> 00:01:23,480
- Have you seen Josh?
- I didn't hear you.
34
00:01:23,486 --> 00:01:25,039
I said have you seen Josh?
35
00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:26,575
Um...
36
00:01:26,804 --> 00:01:28,851
Maybe he's...
37
00:01:28,857 --> 00:01:31,023
- Maybe he ran away.
- Josh can't run.
38
00:01:31,029 --> 00:01:34,740
Maybe he went away.
Maybe he just left.
39
00:01:35,205 --> 00:01:36,833
Why would he do that?
40
00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:38,337
That's a good question, honey.
41
00:01:39,228 --> 00:01:43,244
Oh, come on. You both know Josh
sought freedom. It wasn't a secret.
42
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:46,439
You saw how depressed he
was, how trapped he felt.
43
00:01:47,548 --> 00:01:49,172
Now he's free.
44
00:01:49,736 --> 00:01:51,572
I don't want him to be free.
45
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,369
That's why I kept him in a cage.
46
00:01:53,375 --> 00:01:56,431
Hey, that turtle was not put on
this Earth to be your prisoner.
47
00:01:56,437 --> 00:01:58,252
- Are you having a stroke?
- Sorry.
48
00:01:58,258 --> 00:02:00,774
I don't trust you to
file this paperwork.
49
00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:05,553
Hmm.
50
00:02:05,571 --> 00:02:08,351
Ah, the big 8, huh?
Look at our boy.
51
00:02:08,357 --> 00:02:10,384
- What you do to the turtle?
- I let him go,
52
00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:12,680
okay? I released him.
53
00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:14,969
No one even paid
any attention to him.
54
00:02:14,975 --> 00:02:17,984
Oh, okay. So then are you
gonna release Mason, as well?
55
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:20,469
- Uh...?
- You know what? I'm gonna let this go.
56
00:02:20,475 --> 00:02:22,765
But it's only because Josh
smelled like hot kimchi
57
00:02:22,771 --> 00:02:24,810
and I never really
understood his allure.
58
00:02:24,816 --> 00:02:27,184
And besides, we
have a party to plan.
59
00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:29,332
When I say "party," you say...
60
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:33,582
? Keep giving me hope
for a better day ?
61
00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:36,884
? Keep giving me
love to find a way ?
62
00:02:36,983 --> 00:02:41,361
? Through this heaviness
I feel, I just need ?
63
00:02:41,367 --> 00:02:46,693
- ? Someone to say everything's okay ?
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
64
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:48,515
? Everything's okay ?
65
00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:52,427
So when do you find out
if you're with child?
66
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,030
I'll know at my next
appointment if it took.
67
00:02:55,036 --> 00:02:56,843
So exciting!
68
00:02:57,208 --> 00:02:59,017
Which donor did you
end up going with?
69
00:02:59,023 --> 00:03:00,309
860A.
70
00:03:00,488 --> 00:03:04,092
- He sounds great.
- Mm. No history of mental illness.
71
00:03:04,098 --> 00:03:07,593
And he's a Kumon teacher,
so he's basically Mensa.
72
00:03:07,599 --> 00:03:09,108
I hope it's a baby of color.
73
00:03:09,114 --> 00:03:11,928
This family could
really use some flavor.
74
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,591
- Mm.
- Mm.
75
00:03:13,813 --> 00:03:16,098
So you think we got everyone?
76
00:03:16,104 --> 00:03:17,437
Oh, I almost forgot.
77
00:03:17,443 --> 00:03:20,151
The woman responsible for
my very great handwriting
78
00:03:20,157 --> 00:03:22,848
and guest of honor, Lisa Apple.
79
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,768
Honey, you're the
guest of honor.
80
00:03:24,774 --> 00:03:26,167
It's your birthday.
81
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:29,190
Maybe Lisa could be an alternate
if one of the Jaspers drops out.
82
00:03:29,196 --> 00:03:31,231
But I want her to be there.
83
00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:34,800
Well, then say no more.
It's your birthday.
84
00:03:34,991 --> 00:03:38,614
The lettered and bespectacled
Lisa Apple will be in attendance.
85
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,127
Yay!
86
00:03:40,499 --> 00:03:42,216
- Yay!
- Yay.
87
00:03:48,135 --> 00:03:49,335
Door's open.
88
00:03:52,301 --> 00:03:55,538
Hey, I'm just on my way out.
What's up? Everything okay?
89
00:03:55,544 --> 00:03:57,853
Wow! Stop it.
90
00:03:57,859 --> 00:04:00,024
- Stop what?
- What's up, Bill Nye?
91
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:02,929
Oh. Yeah. Well, it
was a gift from Lisa.
92
00:04:02,935 --> 00:04:04,626
She's been so fantastic
with me and the kids,
93
00:04:04,632 --> 00:04:06,628
I feel the least I can
do is wear it for her.
94
00:04:06,634 --> 00:04:09,338
- Mm.
- Guess she wants a smart guy.
95
00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:11,220
You never role-played with me.
96
00:04:11,616 --> 00:04:13,316
Would you have wanted me to?
97
00:04:13,809 --> 00:04:15,251
Oh, that was a burn.
98
00:04:15,257 --> 00:04:17,145
- Oh, sorry. It took me a sec.
- Mm.
99
00:04:17,151 --> 00:04:18,950
I guess I really
shouldn't be wearing this.
100
00:04:18,956 --> 00:04:21,142
Nope. Here you go.
101
00:04:21,731 --> 00:04:23,332
Oh. Whoa.
102
00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:25,688
Birthday invite for
the guest of honor.
103
00:04:25,694 --> 00:04:28,391
I see. And you're
okay with this?
104
00:04:28,397 --> 00:04:32,399
If Milo wants Lisa Apple at
his party, then... so do I.
105
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:33,923
And there's no anthrax in here?
106
00:04:33,929 --> 00:04:36,199
No. Just a lot of glitter.
107
00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:37,658
Which might be worse.
108
00:04:38,650 --> 00:04:40,471
- Worse?
- Take it off.
109
00:04:42,443 --> 00:04:44,253
_
110
00:04:54,157 --> 00:04:56,759
Hi. Come on in.
111
00:04:57,059 --> 00:04:58,970
Are you expecting someone else?
112
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,854
Just a colleague I invited.
113
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:03,745
Well, the turnout is great.
114
00:05:03,751 --> 00:05:05,852
Both Jaspers are in attendance.
115
00:05:05,858 --> 00:05:08,041
I know. And they don't
say yes to just any party.
116
00:05:08,047 --> 00:05:11,822
Mm. This is true. And thank you
for taking a lead on decorations.
117
00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:14,242
Thank you for setting
up the hydration station.
118
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:15,533
Well, I didn't have
much of a choice,
119
00:05:15,539 --> 00:05:16,739
'cause that's what
you told me to do.
120
00:05:16,745 --> 00:05:17,945
Correct.
121
00:05:20,044 --> 00:05:22,193
Ground control to Major Mom!
122
00:05:22,642 --> 00:05:25,432
Oh! Are you ground control?
123
00:05:25,438 --> 00:05:27,709
Because you look like
the person who's in space.
124
00:05:27,715 --> 00:05:30,614
- Did I mess that up? Shucks.
- Yeah, that's okay.
125
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:32,515
There's intelligent
life on this planet.
126
00:05:32,521 --> 00:05:34,942
Uh-oh. This mission
might be doomed.
127
00:05:34,948 --> 00:05:36,962
I'm afraid the atmosphere
is inhospitable.
128
00:05:36,968 --> 00:05:38,532
She said she was okay with it.
129
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:42,030
- Lisa Apple!
- Hey!
130
00:05:42,153 --> 00:05:44,459
Take me to your leader.
131
00:05:44,465 --> 00:05:45,951
Are you an alien?
132
00:05:45,957 --> 00:05:48,555
Yeah, are you an
alien or an astronaut?
133
00:05:48,561 --> 00:05:50,392
Make up your mind, Lisa Apple!
134
00:05:50,398 --> 00:05:53,477
- Zorkul-sneedlium.
- Jerggil-knee-kilp!
135
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,582
Gabourey Sidibe.
136
00:05:58,175 --> 00:05:59,908
Isn't that an actress?
137
00:05:59,914 --> 00:06:02,299
It can only be
made-up words, Mommy.
138
00:06:03,775 --> 00:06:05,421
- Mm.
- Show me your party.
139
00:06:05,427 --> 00:06:06,889
- Okay!
- Okay!
140
00:06:15,338 --> 00:06:16,739
Major Mom.
141
00:06:17,345 --> 00:06:19,831
I just wanted to say thank
you for having me today.
142
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,235
Oh, not a problem, Lisa.
143
00:06:21,241 --> 00:06:23,126
I know you could've
blocked it if you wanted to,
144
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,547
- but you didn't.
- I did not.
145
00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:26,546
The kid stuff can be
tricky after a divorce.
146
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,454
Have you had kids or a divorce?
147
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:32,110
I haven't, no. Even my parents are
still madly in love 40 years later.
148
00:06:32,116 --> 00:06:34,207
- Can you believe it?
- I cannot.
149
00:06:35,302 --> 00:06:37,108
But you and Martin are pros.
150
00:06:37,114 --> 00:06:39,818
- I mean, you guys make it seem easy.
- It's not easy.
151
00:06:40,786 --> 00:06:42,122
But thank you.
152
00:06:42,496 --> 00:06:45,812
Milo's a really special kid. I'm
just happy to be back in his life.
153
00:06:45,818 --> 00:06:48,513
He is a special kid.
He also eats ChapStick.
154
00:06:48,964 --> 00:06:51,638
- Totally age-appropriate, if you ask me.
- But I didn't.
155
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,911
Oh! Excuse me. My
colleague has arrived.
156
00:06:56,237 --> 00:06:57,468
Toby!
157
00:06:57,633 --> 00:06:59,719
Toby. Oh.
158
00:06:59,725 --> 00:07:01,729
I'm so glad you could be here.
159
00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:04,051
- You live here?
- I do. Come in.
160
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:07,365
- Ah, yes. Gracias, se�orita.
- No problem.
161
00:07:07,574 --> 00:07:09,272
None for me, thank you.
162
00:07:09,278 --> 00:07:11,389
- You on medication?
- What? No.
163
00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:12,670
Then why aren't you drinking?
164
00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:14,381
Do I need a reason?
165
00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:17,756
When a booze-thusiast
refuses booze
166
00:07:17,762 --> 00:07:20,542
at an 8-year-old's birthday party,
yes, Maya, mm-hmm, yes, you do.
167
00:07:20,548 --> 00:07:22,962
Okay, Camille, fine. You win.
168
00:07:22,968 --> 00:07:25,964
I am... slightly pregnant.
169
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,127
Yes. Yes.
170
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:30,041
I am pregnant. I've
been fertilized.
171
00:07:30,047 --> 00:07:32,315
Maya! Oh, my gosh!
172
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,830
- Oh, my God!
- I wanted to wait
173
00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:35,915
till the three-month
mark, but, okay,
174
00:07:35,921 --> 00:07:38,908
what's one more curse on an
otherwise high-risk pregnancy?
175
00:07:38,914 --> 00:07:40,195
I'm gonna be a single mom.
176
00:07:41,136 --> 00:07:43,314
Who cares? Time
to open presents.
177
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,410
I'm proud of you, honey.
Way to get knocked up.
178
00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:47,917
- Do you know the race yet?
- We're gonna let that be a surprise.
179
00:07:47,923 --> 00:07:49,410
Oh, my gosh!
180
00:07:49,542 --> 00:07:52,115
Oh, we're gonna have, like,
a little niece or nephew.
181
00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:54,101
- I know!
- Or I will.
182
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:57,971
- You'll have a... ex-niece or ex-nephew.
- Yeah. Ex-Uncle Martin.
183
00:07:58,247 --> 00:08:00,260
- I love babies.
- Mmm.
184
00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:02,033
We were good at babies.
185
00:08:02,174 --> 00:08:03,992
- Yeah, we were.
- Mm-hm.
186
00:08:07,483 --> 00:08:08,966
- A toast to my...
- Milo.
187
00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:10,990
...incredible sister, Maya,
188
00:08:10,996 --> 00:08:13,016
for taking matters
into her own hands.
189
00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:14,222
Mazel!
190
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,911
Cut this guy off.
191
00:08:19,203 --> 00:08:21,217
Hey. Where's the birthday boy?
192
00:08:21,223 --> 00:08:23,183
In his room, cursing up a storm.
193
00:08:23,189 --> 00:08:25,493
How old is he turning? Zero?
194
00:08:26,199 --> 00:08:29,299
- You little rat bastard...
- Hey, hey, hey. Arthur, Arthur.
195
00:08:30,162 --> 00:08:33,405
Oh, Annette Cranet
to Milo. Come in, Milo.
196
00:08:33,694 --> 00:08:36,725
What is your emotional location?
197
00:08:38,076 --> 00:08:40,005
Astronaut Milo?
198
00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:42,753
Have you gone dark?
199
00:08:42,759 --> 00:08:45,074
I hate Aunt Maya
and I hate this party
200
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,160
and I hate her
stupid, ugly baby,
201
00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:48,952
and I'm not sharing
my birthday with it!
202
00:08:48,958 --> 00:08:51,371
And if I were any better
at witchcraft, I swear...
203
00:08:51,377 --> 00:08:53,167
Hey, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
204
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,322
You know that's not
how it works, right?
205
00:08:55,673 --> 00:08:58,205
That baby will have
its own birthday.
206
00:08:58,211 --> 00:08:59,777
When your new baby
cousin comes along,
207
00:08:59,783 --> 00:09:02,721
you won't be the youngest anymore.
So you know what that means?
208
00:09:05,281 --> 00:09:07,024
I can beat the baby up?
209
00:09:07,103 --> 00:09:11,116
Um, or you can teach
it things, like...
210
00:09:11,122 --> 00:09:13,595
- Who got you into deep space?
- Mason.
211
00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:15,921
He kept telling me
I was from Uranus,
212
00:09:15,927 --> 00:09:19,937
so I looked it up, and I
found out Uranus has 27 moons.
213
00:09:19,943 --> 00:09:22,609
So Mason wound up introducing
you to something super cool,
214
00:09:22,615 --> 00:09:24,536
and you can do the
same thing for the baby.
215
00:09:24,542 --> 00:09:27,874
You can teach it all of
your wisdom about Uranus.
216
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,710
I do have a lot of
wisdom about Uranus.
217
00:09:30,716 --> 00:09:32,478
Would you like to
open up a present?
218
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,296
- Maybe the one I got you?
- Yes, please!
219
00:09:35,302 --> 00:09:37,005
Oh.
220
00:09:40,237 --> 00:09:42,036
- What is it?
- Very special.
221
00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:44,950
I'm so excited. What is
it? What is it? What is it?
222
00:09:44,956 --> 00:09:48,356
I just hope that he
or she gets my ankles.
223
00:09:48,362 --> 00:09:51,139
- Does anyone know if ankles are recessive?
- No.
224
00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:54,732
Hey, everyone, I also have
an announcement to make.
225
00:09:55,048 --> 00:09:56,837
I got my own star!
226
00:09:56,843 --> 00:10:00,032
Lisa Apple adopted it for
me, and it has my name.
227
00:10:00,452 --> 00:10:01,654
All right, buddy!
228
00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,756
- Ah.
- You killed it, babe.
229
00:10:03,762 --> 00:10:05,348
Hey, where's Mom?
230
00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:08,913
Lena?
231
00:10:09,706 --> 00:10:10,906
No.
232
00:10:13,115 --> 00:10:14,644
Is this about that star?
233
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:16,844
- 'Cause that was crap.
- No.
234
00:10:18,586 --> 00:10:20,392
Oh, God.
235
00:10:22,804 --> 00:10:25,412
I'm glad Milo got his star.
236
00:10:26,624 --> 00:10:29,545
And I'm happy about
Martin and Lisa Apple.
237
00:10:29,732 --> 00:10:31,665
And I'm happy for you.
238
00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:37,037
I just... I just don't
feel happy for me.
239
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:40,140
Maybe it's just the
pregnancy hormones.
240
00:10:40,146 --> 00:10:42,519
You know sisters are
like that sometimes.
241
00:10:45,628 --> 00:10:47,933
- Family meeting?
- Yes, please.
242
00:10:49,705 --> 00:10:51,715
I'm sorry, you guys.
243
00:10:52,304 --> 00:10:55,504
I just... I feel so empty.
244
00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:58,809
I feel like everything
I had is just gone,
245
00:10:58,815 --> 00:11:01,908
and I don't know what I'm
supposed to replace it with.
246
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,816
Honey, you're not supposed
to replace it with anything.
247
00:11:07,175 --> 00:11:10,001
You know, when your mother died,
248
00:11:10,192 --> 00:11:12,505
I really had no
idea of what my life
249
00:11:12,511 --> 00:11:14,339
was supposed to look
like without her.
250
00:11:14,595 --> 00:11:16,119
So I didn't look.
251
00:11:16,721 --> 00:11:19,222
I didn't ask any questions
that couldn't be answered.
252
00:11:19,228 --> 00:11:22,228
I just got out of
bed in the morning,
253
00:11:22,642 --> 00:11:24,331
tried to do the things I loved,
254
00:11:24,337 --> 00:11:25,618
see the people I loved,
255
00:11:25,624 --> 00:11:30,924
and then, one day, I
woke up and I realized...
256
00:11:31,196 --> 00:11:32,814
I was doing it.
257
00:11:33,298 --> 00:11:35,307
I was being okay.
258
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,878
And you're gonna be okay, too.
259
00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:42,250
Did I just miss
some deep (BLEEP)?
260
00:11:42,256 --> 00:11:44,385
- I did, didn't I?
- Mm-hm.
261
00:11:44,939 --> 00:11:46,162
Okay.
262
00:11:46,168 --> 00:11:48,262
This is about Lisa Apple?
263
00:11:49,135 --> 00:11:50,402
Listen.
264
00:11:50,408 --> 00:11:53,768
I know that it's tough to
watch her cuddle with Milo,
265
00:11:53,774 --> 00:11:55,004
but remember...
266
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:56,910
Lisa Apples come and go.
267
00:11:56,916 --> 00:12:01,336
The bond between a mother
and a child is forever.
268
00:12:01,342 --> 00:12:03,247
You don't even
speak to your mother.
269
00:12:03,253 --> 00:12:05,225
That's because
she's a raging bitch.
270
00:12:06,737 --> 00:12:08,231
But you aren't.
271
00:12:09,846 --> 00:12:12,275
- Hey, buddy.
- Toby. Hello, there.
272
00:12:14,185 --> 00:12:17,453
Guys, I don't want
to dump on Lisa Apple.
273
00:12:17,643 --> 00:12:19,062
I really don't.
274
00:12:19,453 --> 00:12:21,858
The truth is, I
resented her being here,
275
00:12:21,864 --> 00:12:24,873
but she's been nothing but
kind to the people I love.
276
00:12:26,054 --> 00:12:28,265
She's a really great person.
277
00:12:31,976 --> 00:12:33,545
I have to make a B.M.
278
00:12:33,551 --> 00:12:35,164
- Oh, God.
- Okay.
279
00:12:35,851 --> 00:12:38,181
- Thank you.
- When you put it that way...
280
00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:42,280
- Mm-hm?
- Mm.
281
00:12:42,286 --> 00:12:44,580
Yeah? Best pregnant
foot rub in the West.
282
00:12:44,586 --> 00:12:46,475
- Am I right?
- This is really pretty great.
283
00:12:46,481 --> 00:12:48,890
Well, I've had three
opportunities to perfect it.
284
00:12:48,896 --> 00:12:50,897
Which reminds me, if you
ever need a crib built,
285
00:12:50,973 --> 00:12:52,904
I can pretty much
do it blindfolded.
286
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:54,623
Yo! Martin!
287
00:12:54,629 --> 00:12:56,227
- Artie.
- Hey, I love the party.
288
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,718
Youthful energy. I love it.
289
00:12:57,724 --> 00:12:59,414
Anyway, um, Camille wants me
290
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,320
to get some juice
boxes out of the garage.
291
00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:02,819
Can you give me a hand?
292
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,029
You can get it.
293
00:13:04,035 --> 00:13:06,102
I hurt my back waving
to my neighbor, so...
294
00:13:07,013 --> 00:13:08,889
- I'll be back.
- Thank you.
295
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,940
- Hi.
- Hi.
296
00:13:14,356 --> 00:13:16,556
Martin, what the hell
were you doing in there?
297
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:17,762
Rubbing Maya's feet.
298
00:13:17,768 --> 00:13:20,068
And acting all goo-goo
over her unborn child.
299
00:13:20,074 --> 00:13:22,930
In two seconds, Lisa Apple's gonna
think you want to get her pregnant.
300
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,923
- What? No.
- Martin, trust me...
301
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,815
I have become very
good at anticipating
302
00:13:26,821 --> 00:13:28,635
things that women will
get mad at you for.
303
00:13:28,719 --> 00:13:31,834
In fact, Camille's probably
on her way in here right now
304
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,610
because I'm taking too
long with the juices.
305
00:13:33,616 --> 00:13:35,627
Okay, look. Lisa and
I just started dating.
306
00:13:35,633 --> 00:13:37,059
That would be a pretty big leap.
307
00:13:37,177 --> 00:13:39,876
And for the record,
I'm not leaping there.
308
00:13:39,882 --> 00:13:42,059
I have three kids who
can wipe their own butts.
309
00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:43,746
I'm... I'm done.
310
00:13:43,752 --> 00:13:47,160
Well, then stop waxing nostalgic
and swooning over Maya.
311
00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:50,204
You guys painting each other's
toenails out here or what?
312
00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:51,984
Let's go with those juices!
313
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,394
I know what I'm talking about.
314
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,708
Mm-hmm.
315
00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:10,590
- Such a good dad.
- I don't want any more children.
316
00:14:10,591 --> 00:14:12,173
- What?
- I'm done.
317
00:14:12,273 --> 00:14:14,093
Shop's closed, so...
318
00:14:14,099 --> 00:14:15,618
Oh. Okay.
319
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:17,587
Well, I haven't asked, but...
320
00:14:17,593 --> 00:14:19,984
actually, that works out well,
'cause with our age difference,
321
00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,676
by the time I want to have kids,
you'll probably be dead anyway.
322
00:14:22,682 --> 00:14:25,409
- Yeah. That's awesome.
- Yeah.
323
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,756
Did you hear that?
324
00:14:29,762 --> 00:14:31,053
Uh-huh.
325
00:14:31,764 --> 00:14:33,294
Stick a fork in 'em.
326
00:14:33,618 --> 00:14:34,818
Hey.
327
00:14:34,824 --> 00:14:37,917
Uh, Jasper number 1,
Isaac, Oscar, Kevin...
328
00:14:37,923 --> 00:14:39,832
your folks are here! Let's go!
329
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:42,443
- Here are your goodie bags.
- Thank you.
330
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,916
I have some candy in here,
331
00:14:44,922 --> 00:14:47,377
and I also included some
literature on consent.
332
00:14:47,383 --> 00:14:48,680
Thank you, ma'am.
333
00:14:50,774 --> 00:14:52,384
Hey, I'm Basil.
I'm here for Hazel.
334
00:14:52,576 --> 00:14:54,309
Hazel, it's Basil!
335
00:14:54,315 --> 00:14:56,184
- Oh, hey, Base. Later, Haze.
- Sup, Mase?
336
00:14:56,779 --> 00:14:58,395
My brain's gonna explode.
337
00:14:59,722 --> 00:15:01,112
Hey, Milo...
338
00:15:01,118 --> 00:15:02,813
Are you leaving?
339
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,143
I have a long journey home.
340
00:15:05,149 --> 00:15:08,028
Your Earth party
was most enjoyable.
341
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:10,533
- Snickle-zorf mong!
- Zorf mong Li kling-klon.
342
00:15:10,539 --> 00:15:13,565
- Zorf mong Li kling-klon!
- Zorf mong Li kling-klon.
343
00:15:14,362 --> 00:15:16,885
- Blasting off, babe?
- Oh. Yeah.
344
00:15:17,065 --> 00:15:19,073
Okay. I'll text you
later after clean-up.
345
00:15:19,079 --> 00:15:20,666
Oh. I can handle clean-up.
346
00:15:20,672 --> 00:15:22,363
You guys can both blast off.
347
00:15:22,369 --> 00:15:25,151
No, no. I wouldn't let you
clean all this up on your own.
348
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:28,154
Oh, please. I'm more than
accustomed to cleaning up on my own.
349
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,961
It sounds like Martin really wants
to stick around and help, so...
350
00:15:30,967 --> 00:15:33,168
Thank you, again,
Lena, for having me.
351
00:15:33,174 --> 00:15:35,674
Oh, you were so
great with Milo today.
352
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,931
Really. Thank you, Lisa.
353
00:15:38,711 --> 00:15:41,321
- Thank you, Lena, for saying that.
- Yeah.
354
00:15:41,327 --> 00:15:43,736
Oh, hey. Can I get a picture
of you with the sister wives?
355
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:45,352
Oh, my gosh. Of course.
356
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:48,445
- Uh...
- Smile.
357
00:15:48,451 --> 00:15:50,944
- Wow. Look at that.
- Cheese.
358
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:56,793
- Hi. Come on in.
- Hey.
359
00:15:58,512 --> 00:16:00,458
Ugh. So wet out there.
360
00:16:00,464 --> 00:16:02,043
- Hi.
- Hi.
361
00:16:02,049 --> 00:16:03,710
Hi. Um, I'm Jasper's dad.
362
00:16:03,716 --> 00:16:06,775
My ex was supposed to pick
up, but she got stuck, so...
363
00:16:07,077 --> 00:16:08,277
Are you Milo's mom?
364
00:16:08,283 --> 00:16:10,709
No. No, no. I'm Auntie Maya.
365
00:16:10,715 --> 00:16:12,799
I'm single Auntie Maya.
366
00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:15,948
Jasper number 2 isn't ready yet!
367
00:16:16,422 --> 00:16:18,546
That's okay. Me neither.
368
00:16:19,008 --> 00:16:20,519
You want some coffee?
369
00:16:20,649 --> 00:16:21,849
I'd love that.
370
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,147
Okay.
371
00:16:26,207 --> 00:16:29,241
So, was it a great party?
372
00:16:29,247 --> 00:16:31,029
I miss Josh.
373
00:16:31,035 --> 00:16:33,325
- I know, honey. Me too.
- Really?
374
00:16:33,331 --> 00:16:35,420
What do you miss
about him the most?
375
00:16:35,426 --> 00:16:37,459
For me, it's his smile.
376
00:16:37,567 --> 00:16:38,767
You know what?
377
00:16:39,349 --> 00:16:42,853
I think there's one other
present you haven't opened yet.
378
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,955
It's Josh!
379
00:16:56,961 --> 00:16:59,266
It's Josh reincarnated
380
00:16:59,272 --> 00:17:01,985
into a stuffed animal
that has his soul.
381
00:17:01,991 --> 00:17:04,997
Do you like it? I know it wasn't
on your list, but do you like it?
382
00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:07,491
I love it, Mom,
and I love you, too.
383
00:17:07,497 --> 00:17:08,903
I love you more.
384
00:17:08,991 --> 00:17:10,299
Happy birthday.
385
00:17:11,085 --> 00:17:12,499
- Mom?
- Mm-hmm.
386
00:17:12,505 --> 00:17:14,907
Will you lay with me
until I fall asleep?
387
00:17:14,913 --> 00:17:18,399
You know what? I would love to
lay with you until you fall asleep,
388
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,712
but there's a very good chance
that I'm gonna fall asleep first.
389
00:17:20,718 --> 00:17:22,928
- Move over.
- Can you say that in alien, Mom?
390
00:17:23,217 --> 00:17:27,078
Oh. Um... Saoirse Ronan.
391
00:17:27,084 --> 00:17:28,603
I love Saoirse Ronan.
392
00:17:28,609 --> 00:17:30,096
Good night, Mom.
Good night, Josh.
393
00:17:30,102 --> 00:17:31,589
Good night, sweetie.
394
00:17:34,579 --> 00:17:36,588
- There you go.
- Thank you.
395
00:17:37,198 --> 00:17:38,910
- Hey.
- Hey.
396
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,400
- Hi.
- You fall asleep up there?
397
00:17:40,406 --> 00:17:41,606
No.
398
00:17:41,612 --> 00:17:44,415
- You liar.
- You guys, thank you so much.
399
00:17:44,421 --> 00:17:46,771
The house looks amazing.
You didn't have to do that.
400
00:17:46,777 --> 00:17:48,265
Just gonna take the trash out.
401
00:17:48,271 --> 00:17:50,178
- Excuse me. Good night.
- Good night.
402
00:17:51,858 --> 00:17:53,666
- Okay, I'm calling it.
- Yep!
403
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:55,764
- Calling what?
- Lisa Apple.
404
00:17:56,228 --> 00:17:58,923
- Not long for this world.
- Oh, you guys.
405
00:17:58,929 --> 00:18:01,151
He told her that he didn't
want to have kids with her.
406
00:18:01,157 --> 00:18:03,423
- He did?
- Mm-hmm, and then he cringed
407
00:18:03,429 --> 00:18:07,212
when she made that annoying,
possibly racist alien voice.
408
00:18:07,218 --> 00:18:08,602
Okay. That doesn't mean...
409
00:18:08,608 --> 00:18:10,008
And it's 9:00 at night.
410
00:18:10,014 --> 00:18:11,288
Why isn't he out with her?
411
00:18:11,294 --> 00:18:13,991
I don't know, but
thank you very much.
412
00:18:13,997 --> 00:18:15,663
I'm gonna bang out these
dishes and go to bed.
413
00:18:15,856 --> 00:18:18,888
- Good night, Mama.
- Hey! I can say that to you now.
414
00:18:18,894 --> 00:18:21,093
- Mwah! Good night, Mama!
- I know. Mwah!
415
00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:23,480
- Good night, Mama.
- Good night, Mama.
416
00:18:25,076 --> 00:18:27,972
And you're driving, Mama,
'cause I'm a little buzzed.
417
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,775
Need someone to dry?
418
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,836
I thought you were in
the garage. You scared me.
419
00:18:38,842 --> 00:18:42,059
Sorry. I still forget
you're not expecting me.
420
00:18:43,924 --> 00:18:45,681
What are you doing? No, Martin.
421
00:18:45,756 --> 00:18:47,256
You did enough.
422
00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:50,259
- Seriously. You're off the hook.
- I don't want to be off the hook.
423
00:18:50,265 --> 00:18:53,986
We co-hosted this event,
so this is my mess, too.
424
00:18:54,062 --> 00:18:55,326
All right, fine.
425
00:18:55,332 --> 00:18:57,301
Then get involved, you slacker.
426
00:18:59,008 --> 00:19:00,641
Today felt really good,
427
00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:02,709
all of us being in the
house together again.
428
00:19:02,715 --> 00:19:03,915
Yeah.
429
00:19:04,113 --> 00:19:07,994
And... Lisa is awesome,
I have to admit.
430
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:12,114
I caught her comforting Milo
when he was upset, and...
431
00:19:12,723 --> 00:19:14,207
she's a pretty special person.
432
00:19:14,213 --> 00:19:16,544
Well, I do have
incredibly good taste.
433
00:19:17,215 --> 00:19:21,673
You know, we were married
for a very long time.
434
00:19:22,022 --> 00:19:25,241
And I thought I knew everything
there was to know about you.
435
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:28,237
In fact, I used to
pride myself on knowing
436
00:19:28,243 --> 00:19:31,564
exactly how you would
handle any given situation.
437
00:19:33,217 --> 00:19:34,916
You surprised me today.
438
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:41,937
Still have some tricks up
these rubber gloves, I guess.
439
00:19:42,803 --> 00:19:46,001
Um... this is dirty.
You're better than that.
440
00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:47,226
What?
441
00:19:47,376 --> 00:19:49,915
I mean, it's just... just
going in a cabinet for a year.
442
00:19:49,921 --> 00:19:51,392
I know.
443
00:19:53,391 --> 00:19:56,392
? Float down the river ?
444
00:19:56,398 --> 00:19:59,591
? We pass by each other ?
445
00:19:59,597 --> 00:20:04,982
? It's a great big
world of light ?
446
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:21,683
- What are you doing?
- Oh.
447
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,602
I was gonna get going,
448
00:20:23,608 --> 00:20:26,813
and, um, I just wanted
to get my phone charger.
449
00:20:26,819 --> 00:20:28,602
I didn't want to
leave anything behind.
450
00:20:28,608 --> 00:20:29,899
Because...
451
00:20:29,905 --> 00:20:34,090
Because I didn't want to assume
we'd be seeing each other again.
452
00:20:34,387 --> 00:20:36,513
Well, I already assumed that.
453
00:20:37,488 --> 00:20:39,403
- Really?!
- Yeah.
454
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:45,987
Dad! I want some
gluten-free waffles!
455
00:20:47,297 --> 00:20:49,364
10 more years, then
he's out of here.
456
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,593
And don't worry... he's my last one.
457
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:58,070
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- www.addic7ed.com -
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