All language subtitles for Billions - 1x11 - Magical Thinking.HDTV.x264-FLEET.en

Previously on "Billions"...

- Cancer?
- Yeah.

- Shit.
- Pancreatic.

Walter and the kids gonna have enough?

Nobody's gonna starve, but
I could've done better.

Forty million.

What if we could get you there?

It won't be simple. It'll
require deception.

And your final weeks and months,

they won't be your own.

Bobby Axelrod used Donnie
to feed us information

that he would never live to testify to.

Donnie's gone.

How long you figure it's been
since we've had a session?

I made some decisions.

You shuttered it.

Selling the farm, too.

You know, if you had

listened to me in the first place

and hadn't blown up the
deal with Axelrod,

we would not be in this spot, would we?

The game has changed, and you
haven't changed with it.

Your advice is no longer welcome.

It was hard on Donnie,

not being able to tell you.

Did other people know?

Hey. What are you doing here?

He is a candidate for
a drug trial in Pittsburgh

that's been yielding some
pretty interesting results.

Kind of rough for a guy who's
been through a lot already.

It can be.

Maybe we shouldn't bring it up.

- sync and corrections by Caio -
- www.addic7ed.com -

What the fuck?

- Mafee wants to see you.
- I just waved him in.

He wanted me to ask you permission.

Permission for what?

He comes in here all the fucking time.

Door's always open. You know that.
I love Mafee.

He wants to talk about BioLance.

Oh. Well, in that case, fire him.

Yeah. He said that you said he's
not allowed to bring it up.

No, he can, if he wants to get fired.

Right, but if he doesn't bring it up,

he thinks you're gonna lose 400 million.

And since he's executing the trade...

He thinks I'll fire him then.

Sticky. I can see how that's sticky.

Can he come in?

Of course. I love Mafee.

It's okay?

We'll see.

Axe, special announcement call

from BioLance is in nine minutes.

I've been losing sleep over
it, and I sleep like a bear.

Brown or polar?

Which hibernate?

They all... hibernate.

They're bears.

Then both, but not lately.

Uh-huh.

I can pare our position before the call.

We can still make 10%.

If we hold and I'm right,
what do we make then?

We double our money.

If we were a benchmark
fund, ten would be great.

But we are no benchmark fund.

I'm just afraid we're gonna lose.

All my research is telling me
that approval is a coin flip.

Right. Do Ben Kim and
all the other analysts

agree with you?

To a man.

First, I told you yesterday
and the day before

that I understood the risks.

I've done the channel checks.
I've done the homework.

BioLance's inhibitor is
gonna be lights out.

Six other companies have
inhibitors in the works.

Only one's gonna win
approval and market share.

That's why I think we
should wait, get in later.

Oh. Second, you're fired.

I'm fired?

That's what he said.

We're already in BioLance.
That's where the win is.

I-I just don't see what
the difference maker is.

I'm the difference maker.

I tried.

You tried.

And now I'm fired.

Goodbye, Mafee.

The next voice you hear

will be the BioLance
CEO, Brooks Wellever.

- So you all know

how important the development
of our SGLT 2 inhibitor

for treatment of Type 2
diabetes is to this company,

how deep our investment has been.

And I wish I had better news.

We were just notified by the FDA

that we were denied approval.

We estimate a time
horizon of five more years

to complete fixes.

But at our current burn rate of cash,

we only have three years
of operating ex...

What's the damage?

Stock is halted until the morning,

but there are no bids in sight.

- It's gonna be ugly.
- Shit.

430 million dollar loss.

Could turn into twice that.

What are you doing?

You fired me.

You know never to listen
to me about shit like that

between 9:30 and 4:00.

How could I fire you?

I love you, Mafee.

- Hey.
- Wendy.

Oh, I am so glad
you're thinking about us.

Hey, Roma wants to give
you the tour herself.

How are you?

Work is a happy place now.

Come on. I'll introduce you.

Great space.

I have an eye for it. Even
better one for talent.

I knew that as soon
as you snagged Maria.

She's a perfect fit.

We value fit, culture, more than most.

That's why 60% or so
of our PMs are women.

Makes it easier to practice
socially responsible investing.

Is that the mission?

The mission is profit.

But me and a few of the senior partners,

we came up at a time

when Wall Street was all cock and balls

...and no brains.

We try to practice with a
little less ego around here

in a more collaborative,
inclusive environment.

But it's a delicate balance.

You don't want a bunch
of guys running around

with sawed-off shotguns,

but you don't want scented candles

and an aversion to risk either.

That's for fucking sure.

We need someone to curate that balance,

someone who's been through the wars,

who's seen the other side.

You want me to make
your people assassins.

We want them to be able

to access that mentality when needed,

with great accuracy.

Yeah. Assassins. It's
kind of my specialty.

I know.

No other performance
coach in the industry

would be a better fit.

And you're already an investor.

We need you,

and you wanna be here.

I'm curious. Why do you
think you know what I want?

I mean, it's a hard thing
to know even about oneself.

I'm a stock picker and
an instinct trader.

Am I wrong?

Look.

We believe there's a better way.

Life doesn't have to be a zero-sum game.

Go. Think.

Let me know.

Brownstone off the Promenade.

Sometimes I forget which
caste you belong to, Chuck.

Ah.

This is a hell of a reminder.

And where'd your dad
practice internal medicine?

The rough side of Highland Park? Huh?

I have to admit you surprise me,
even for a man in your position.

There's not many who could cast a spell

and make a federal judge disappear.

There are no other men in my position.

For I also know

the name being nominated in
committee to replace Wilcox.

Ah.

And let me be the first
to congratulate you.

Thank you.

It's as it should be. You happy?
You should be happy.

I'd be laughing like Hank Kingsley

if I were in your Florsheims.

"Hey, now!"

Hey, these are Ferragamos.

I like to laugh, too.

But lately...

- Yes, lately.
- And I worry.

With you out of the AG's office,

she'll be even less
likely to look kindly

on the work I need to do,

especially when it diverges from...

Whatever whim she and the
White House might have.

Mm.

I was wondering when the
actual tat would come.

Or is this the tit?

When it comes to picking
your replacement,

I need someone who'll
look out for me in DC.

So you wanna pick?

I know a few likely candidates.

I'll need you to foam the
runway for that replacement

on your way out.

Is this really still about Axelrod?

What, he's that much of a
burr under your saddle?

It's about justice.

Of course.

If, as you say, my name's
already been put forth,

I'm not sure what
leverage you still have.

I wanted to tell you this in person

to see exactly how badly you want it.

It would be brutal to
have it get this close

only to stall in Judicial Committee.

The Senate is so polarized these days.

Judgeships get held hostage for...

months, years.

Are you saying you can guarantee
I sail through committee?

"Guarantee" is a word

that amateurs use in politics.

But I can make it so
that Senator Vandeveer

takes you by the hand and
drags you to the bench.

And what I have to do to get that done

will not be pleasant.

It'll be quite odious, so
I need your assurance.

I'll do it.

But about Axelrod and finding
a way to leg back in...

Let... let me be

General Bradley to your Patton

and advise you to practice restraint.

Ah. Oh, it was good advice
when Omar Bradley gave it.

Safe.

And one of them died

a well-respected and admired general,

and the other one died a legend.

You name my pick for replacement.

I'll lock in your appointment.

And then I'll worry about
the rest from there.

I won't lie. Having a
Michelin chef in house,

it would be an excellent
recruiting tool.

What do you think?

Oh. It's a great kitchen.

Love the La Cornue.

But I would really miss,
you know, real people...

"gastros" who light up when they
eat something really special.

You go private serving
guys that might just have

- ...whatever for lunch...
- Mm.

You could lead the effort
to expand our horizons.

Don't let her off the hook, Lar.

I won't. We'll talk soon.

Yeah, thanks.

You know, when people
ask you what you think,

you don't really have to tell them.

I could've said a lot more.

Give him some fucking space!

Give me a sec.

Hey.

Something wrong?

Bad day.
Something happened.

Something serious?

I can't make it to Lilly's tonight.

Really?

What happened?

I blew a read. Badly.

And I know the reason
wasn't in the numbers.

It was in here. I'm gonna fix it.

Wendy?

I don't like it.

This isn't three years ago, you know.

She's at odds with you, with
herself, over this battle.

You can't trust her.

Well, she's the only one who can
give me what I need right now.

I know.

She's gonna ask you about Donnie.

You new here?

Maybe.

Nice.

Now all we need is a pole.

I can't cook for a bunch of animals

who will eat anything, shit
on anything, fuck anything.

Don't be ignorant. That's
just a stereotype.

Okay, you hate the place. Fine.

I was just trying to help
with your situation.

Well, I wouldn't have a situation

if it weren't for this place.

Well, you probably wouldn't
have your own kitchen

for another ten years either.

Look, I'm sorry.

But what happened to
my badass big sister

who says what she wants and
doesn't waste two shits

on what the world thinks of her?

I'm right here in front of you.

When's the last time you even hung out

in the old neighborhood?

What are we supposed to do,

Go back to fucking McCrory's
and shoot pool with the guys?

And the night takes shape.

So?

We break it down.

Put it in boxes.

Well, this is where we get off, Dale.

This tight little team can handle it.

FBI doesn't do clerical?

Not on this one. It's, uh, too sad.

Yeah, since it's over,
I'm supposed to start on

this synthetic marijuana
thing up in Orangeburg.

Oh, it's not over.

When it starts going back
into boxes, it's over.

The FDA adverse reporting
database flagged 20 cases

of acidosis associated
with similar SLGT2s.

It was in the file.

Yeah, we didn't fuck up. He did.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey, thanks for coming back.

Hope you didn't get all the way home.

Where were you?

I'm here now.

Hey, everybody, you can go home. Thanks.

I made a mistake today
that I shouldn't have.

It could cost me a billion dollars

after we've sifted through the wreckage.

That's quite a mistake.

I need an adjustment.

You're finally ready for a real session.

Yeah.

If I talk it through with you,

sharpen my focus,

I'll be able to start
digging out tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?
- Yeah, I already know

the reason I made the
mistake was mental error.

Now I just need to find out
why I wanted to make it.

This might take a while.

Hey.

Carrie?

Uh...

I was waiting for Wendy.

Yeah, she called, said you
were both gonna be out.

Yes, I have things to do.

I thought she was in
with the kids tonight.

Must've gotten
our signals crossed.

Her thing sounded kind of last-minute.

Okay.

Must've had this on silent.

Uh...

the kids are already in their rooms.

Eva's asleep. Kevin might
want another story.

Uh... would you mind
cleaning up the dog food?

Thank you.

See you later.

Tell me about today.

If you're successful enough,

people think you can do anything,

and then you start to believe it, too.

You mean you do.

I'm not Superman. That's what
I'm trying to get across.

But today?

I might've forgotten.

It's hard not to engage in
a little magical thinking

when everyone else is looking at you

like you're some combination

of Warren Buffet and God above.

I don't buy that.

Magical thinking is...
if I clean the house,

then school gets canceled tomorrow.

And this?

I'm not wishing or guessing,
and I'm not usually wrong.

And when you are, you take
your medicine and move on.

It's what makes you great.

But today, your own words,

you missed something.

Somehow the idea that all the guys...

I asked Mafee,

and the moment he said
that everyone else agreed

that it was the wrong move,

I had to stick it out,

had to prove that I was
the difference maker.

To who?

Mafee? Danzig?

Of course not.

I agree. They all idolize you already.

It wasn't about proving
anything to any of them.

Look, you want me to fix

the part of you that makes money.

But it is attached to the rest, so...

Like I said, this is gonna
take a little while.

Why do I hate
these guys so much?

Well, they're criminals.

And they're a lot richer than you.

Are we really doing what we're doing...

...for the reasons we say?

Well, you mean, does making
these arrests, dealing fines,

actually do anything
to keep markets fair?

When
you put it like that...

This kid I went to school with,

Jim Gagne...

most brilliant guy I've ever met.

Gagne was a double major

in chemical engineering and pre-med.

I felt like he was gonna cure cancer.

Well, cancer's still
going last I checked.

He's no scientist.

He works the medical
sector for Spartan-Ives,

made 20 million last year.

Society's fucked when that happens.

Incentives all out of whack.

So someone has to do something.

And we use laws and fines and jail.

We try.

Got this made 'cause I was
so fucking proud of Chuck

for pushing back.

It's Axe's settlement check,
but I forgot to give it to him

by the time it came
back from the framer,

with the, uh, Donnie of it all.

I'm gonna leave it on his desk.

I know where Chuck keeps his stash.

Come on.

Sounds dangerous.

Let's talk about you for a sec.

That's not how this works.

We've never done anything
the way it works,

and we're not exactly starting tonight.

How are you handling everything?

I wanna know before we go on.

Grant me this indulgence.

The Donnie thing threw me, to be honest.

There's an empty space in
the world without him.

The fact that...

I missed it.

This man, this...

patient of mine, dying.

And he wouldn't let me in,

despite whatever was going on with him.

And you.

People withhold crucial
information all the time.

We learn to manage our expectations

about those close to us, don't we?

So they don't turn into mistrust or...

paranoia.

When I was young, I figured if I was

truly there for my patients,

I could get them to be
truly open with me.

I quickly learned that's not
the case, but you still hope.

Really?

That's what you were thinking
about when you were young?

Fuck. You chose the right line of work.

I was just thinking about
getting rich and getting even.

Have you?

Yeah. Mostly.

Does it make everything all better?

Why doesn't it?

Because the world isn't simple.

Like with Donnie.

You keep going back there.

I don't think we can ignore
that you missed today,

for the first time in
forever, right after he died.

Okay, go ahead, doctor.
You connect those dots.

Well, you used the words.

Getting even.

- When I was a kid.
- And today?

Bombing the trade,

were you somehow evening
the score for Donnie?

What does that even mean?
Donnie was a friend.

Everyone here matters to me,

and I go out of my way for all of 'em.

That's why I got him
the best medical care.

The same as when Mick Danzig
gets tackled on his lawn

with a machine gun in his fucking hands,

I'm the one who pays off the cops

to make the problem go away.

That's what I do here.

I take care of my people,

and they know that.

And so should you by now.

So are you ready to tell me

who you were trying to
prove something to?

Yeah.

Should we say it in unison?

And were you trying to prove

you were a difference
maker for good or bad?

Were you trying to reward
or punish yourself?

Come on.

Where you going?

- We're not done!
- Come on!

God, that was awful.

You don't even go there anymore.

You're a Michelin chef.

You live in Bushwick with the hipsters.

The only reason we ever went there

is 'cause they didn't check IDs.

God! What were you thinking?

I just... I thought we could
do something like we used to,

before everything was all
work and you were all...

Then let's do something. Better.

Where else did we used to go?

Nowhere I wanna go now.

- After you got your car...
- Oh, that fucking Fiero.

Man, we'd just drive around, joyriding.

Then let's go joyriding.

Come on. Come on! Come on.

I thought I might not see
you here for a while.

Well, I may have been...

overly harsh with you before.

"Overly harsh"?

I don't know. I'm...

I'm getting up there in years.

I don't really, uh,

understand these things anymore.

I don't even know why you're here.

There is a favor I need.

Ah...

Now we get to it.

What can I help you with?

I need a Senator

on the judiciary committee

to push through a nomination.

Your Senator.

And I'm supposed to just...

materialize Marcia Vandeveer?

A United States Senator?

And get her to do what you want?

I know that you and Marcia...

I must still know how the game works

to be able to do something like that.

I must've spent a lifetime

building relationships,

collecting chits.

Whatever law and order issue
that she's running on,

my office will make it a priority.

Accommodations will not be necessary,

not necessary at all.

She owes me a favor.

She'll be happy to sit with you.
I'll just give her a call.

Well...

as long as it's not too much trouble.

Anything you'd like to say to me?

Thank you, Dad.

And?

I'm sorry.

There's the boy.

No.

- - Whoa!

Oh! Unbelievable!

I'd have given 30 to one odds
you'd miss with the phone.

Then you're definitely
not seeing the market.

I can do a phone.

It's gotta be bigger than a phone now.

Do you remember our first building?

Ooh! Globe would've
gone through the floor.

Okay, double or nothing.
I wanna do a computer.

Oh, my God. You're like
Kobe firing up shots

when he's two for 18.

No doubt in your mind the
next one's going in.

Kobe? Steph Curry. Jordan, maybe.

Don't give me Kobe.

Shooter's gotta shoot.

Unwavering belief in
our own capabilities.

It's essential to a point.

Keeps us functioning at a high level.

Until it isn't, right?

Maybe your self-image is creating...

a blind spot.

We're not on a break, are we?

No.

Why couldn't I have seen it before?

Well, let's assume your blind spot

usually works for you.

It's fairly essentially
if you don't feel

indestructible like Superman.

How are you gonna risk
billions every morning?

But it's not working for you now.

So you need to figure out

what part of your self-image is false.

And then you either need to
live up to it or lose it.

Interesting word... "false." Like, uh...

when someone knows that they
have to tell a lover goodbye.

But they can't quite do it,

so instead, they sleep
with them one last time.

Then they have their
own unspoken goodbye,

not letting on that
everything's changed until...

after the night is over.

I'm not sure that's what
we're discussing here.

No, maybe not.

But it came to mind, so I said it.

Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

In a sense.

Something I said?

Let's go outside.

Mm.

- Sorry, that was...
- So cliché.

Oh, the worst!

Oh. You think Chuck's ever had sex here?

- Oh, time to leave right now.
- Ohh. Oh, God.

Oh!

- Oh.
- Oh.

I still wanna do something dangerous.

Hey, Nancy. Church Rhoades.

Looking for Wendy.

Wondering if you knew
what she was up to.

Maybe her phone died.

Uh, anyway, when you get this,
let me know if you know. Thanks.

We'll have, uh, another Bulleit.

All right, same thing.

Splash of soda and, uh, little,
uh, little lemon zest.

Oh! Will you bring us two?

For sure.

I was beginning to think
you were a no-show.

I'm beginning to wish I no-showed.

I don't see the appeal.

See it now?

Oh, Christ. Ira.

Don't make indict you for child porn.

She's of age. She just sent that to me.

God bless these 23-year-olds.

They grew up with porn.

And daddy issues.

Maybe granddaddy issues in your case.

Ow.

What do you talk to a 23-year-old about?

Taylor Swift?

Did you meet her on Tinder?

Actually, I did.

How do you do it? I mean, get 'em to...

swipe left or right or
whatever on a mug like yours.

You put the Porsche in the Tinder photo.

You can't be subtle on Tinder.

- Mm. Thank you.
- Wow.

Mm-hmm.

How'd it go?

Not as bad as you thought, I'm sure.

Mm.

Worse, I think.

I believe that he used "I told you so"

in all its myriad constructions.

I understand how it must

make you feel to have to
ask for a favor like that.

But everyone has a roof. Accept it.

A roof?

Those two years I was in Russia,

it was right after the wall came down.

There was money and crazy women.

The Wild West of capitalism.

Anyway, in Russia, you had to
pay someone to protect you,

either the cops or the mob, and
then they were your "roof."

- Mm.
- That's what they called it.

You're down right now. It's
not a moment for pride.

It's a moment for, uh...

consolidation.

Positioning, a little security.
Senior's your roof.

- Everyone needs a roof.
- I may need one.

It doesn't mean I have
to fucking like it.

Yeah, but if you don't have a roof,

you can't be surprised when
it starts raining on you.

Well, it's like the man sang,

"it may be the devil
or it may be the Lord,

but you're gonna have to
serve somebody," right?

Hey.

Hi.

Think about that.

- All right.
- Mm-hmm.

Tyler, go to the bar. I'll...
I'll find you later.

Okay.

How are you able to keep
it so light, brother?

In law school, you were just as
weighted down as the rest of us.

Light. Heavy.

- Who even thinks in those terms?
- Mm-hmm.

Weekends and on Wednesdays,

I'm with my kids and I'm one way.

And when I'm not, I'm here,
or somewhere like it.

Otherwise, what? Watch
harness racing on TV?

No, you should know that that's rigged.

They can shift the results

just by dinging one wheel of the sulky.

I don't actually bet
the fucking trotters.

Where are you, fella?

'Cause you're not here.

It's one thing if I check my phone.

Could be some girl telling
me she just turned 21.

What the fuck are you doing?

Wendy.

I don't...

I'm not sure where she is tonight.

Ah.

- Fuck.
- Yeah.

And, uh, it doesn't feel like

a "we're just out of
pocket for a minute."

There's some kind of
continental drift going on.

Worse.

Tectonic collisions.

You know, no offense, man, but...

all of this is not for me.

So it scares the shit out of me

that it could be where I'm heading.

It's
not really for anyone,

tell you the truth.

No one chooses it.

Even if they think they do
when they walk out the door.

it's... not what they think it'll be,

especially after the first few months.

Everything I said to you about
the young girls is true.

They're wild and free and...

they'll lick your dirty
places and smile.

But the one thing they are not is...

my Elizabeth.

Or Wendy.

I know.

I remember nights with
Liz, and she'd be asleep,

and I'd have all these things
that I'd wanna tell her.

Then I wouldn't wake her up.
I'd just sit with it.

And...

by morning, they'd be gone.

Plowed under with the routine.

If I could get one of
those nights back...

I'm not saying I'd give up
all these nights, but, uh...

Yeah, I probably have a few
things like that I should say.

Then why the fuck are you
still sitting here with me?

'Cause one thing's for sure,
you got absolutely no game.

I never cried over Donnie, you know.

You wanted to?

I think I should have, maybe.

Last time you did?

- Oh, I don't know.
- Sure you do.

Let's turn here.

I like to wander from time to time.

It's our little expeditions
that keep me around.

Digging in the dirt,
getting under the process.

But I was supposed to be home hours ago.

Last time you cried.

Fuck. Okay.

You know what really nails me?

These YouTube videos,
soldiers coming home,

surprising their kids at school.

Even better... baseball game.

So the guy subs for the catcher.

Kid goes to the mound,
he gets ready to pitch.

He throws one. He hasn't noticed.

And the catcher goes to the mound,

takes off his mask, kid sees him,

and the dad just wraps him in a hug.

I have no idea why, but if I
stumble across one of those,

I am gone.

Does it feel good after?

Yeah, it does.

Jesus. Nobody knows that, not even Lara.

It's okay for that to be private.

Do you know what's going on?

You're not gonna tell me

it's because my dad never came home?

Well, I think that might be in there,

but I think we resolved a bunch of that.

No, I think about the mask itself.

I think about what it means that
the dad pulls off the mask,

and he's not only seen
but loved for who he is

underneath that hard metal exterior.

Well, that guy's a hero.
He deserves the love.

And you?

What happens when you take it off?

Will you still be loved?

By the guys here, your kids, Lara?

What if you're not perfect?

What if you miss one every few years?

Yeah.

What then?

Let's stay with Donnie a minute more.

Yeah. Can't feel the road in this.

And you can't hear the fucking engine.

Are we going somewhere?

Nah.

We're just gonna joyride.

No.

- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Fuck, yeah.

You know, I think you're
right about me, Lu.

I'm not your ballsy big sister
who doesn't give two shits.

The old me would've told
Bobby to go fuck himself

for blowing me off to talk
to Wendy Rhoades all night.

So why didn't you?

Because I'm different than who I was.

Improved, supposedly.

You didn't need that kind of improving.

I do need something, though.

What?

What do you want?

I tell you,

this beats hitting the mall
and shoplifting earrings.

Mm.

God, we'd always end up
at that stupid mall.

Remember when Mom
bought us scratch-offs,

and we agreed if either of us won,

we'd go on a shopping spree?

Yeah.

You kind of won.

We've now gone as far as we possible can

without getting to it.

Donnie.

Fine. Donnie.

But first, tell me what
you've put together.

I know you used him as a shield.

I don't know how exactly.

And I know you left his
family well off afterwards.

That's all true.

So you should feel great.

You saved your kingdom

and rewarded richly the
knight who fell on his sword

so you could do it.

A king who does not mourn that knight

and that goes on
building his own castle.

Oh, so that's why you
missed on the trade.

You loved him,

so subconsciously, you're
punishing yourself.

I stole from him.

His time,

Without his permission.

Doctor presented me with
a chance to get Donnie

some experimental treatment, not a cure.

But it could've extended his life a...
few months...

and maybe long enough for
him to have seen Christmas.

But also maybe long enough for
him to testify against me.

And...

I stopped that from happening

because it didn't suit my purposes.

And I'm punishing myself

because I cannot believe
I have the capacity

to do that to someone I care about.

That's your fear?

That even when you care about someone,

you can use them for your own ends.

If that is true, I don't
like what it says about me.

It may be true,

but that's not what this is.

You're punishing yourself
because you're understanding

that you didn't care about Donnie.

Not really.

That's what scares you.

Yes.

When I heard about Donnie's death, I...

I felt relief.

And all the rest... the
sorrow, the sadness...

it was... it was buried way down.

Like it didn't exist at all.

That's right.

So the question you've been
afraid to ask out loud,

but have been whispering
to yourself ever since,

do you wanna ask it?

- Do I have to?
- I think you do.

I can't say it for you.

Well, people who have the
capacity to feel nothing...

...they call them sociopaths.

Is that what I am?

What do you think?

I don't know.

This is how - you manifest guilt.

If you didn't have it,

you wouldn't have lost the money,

you wouldn't be punishing yourself.

But it is a... crucial time.

Your switch plate is removed,
your wiring is exposed.

Your blue ones go where your red
ones should, that's for sure.

A normal person wouldn't
engage in the behavior.

A sociopath wouldn't give a shit.

You're somewhere in between.

You are practiced at
turning off your feelings.

Do it enough, it's a pattern.
Keep going, they die.

So it's either fix it...

...or close yourself back
up and see what happens.

Thank you, Anil.

Really, thank you. I know this is weird.

Anytime.

Just keep it open till we're done.

- Okay.
- Holy shit, Lar!

Yeah, holy shit.

- Don't know what to say,

- Bright.
- So cool.

- Key part breaking the law?
- What?

- Never mind. Come on.
- Ooh!

- Don't wanna lose control,

What we did
tonight was pretty heavy.

There might be aftershocks.

Yeah, I know.

You did to me what I do to companies.

Took me apart, put me together again.

You seem tired.

Or are you just disgusted
at what you heard?

Take this away with you.

You are a difference maker,

but you're not a god.

Pancreatic takes everyone.

It's like the market.
It does what it wants.

And no magical thinking was
ever gonna change that.

So no, I'm not disgusted with you.

For whatever reason, when
it comes to you, that's...

that's just not on the table.

You know, some of your wires

aren't where they should be, either.

I can't argue.

Is that why you've been
looking at other shops?

That's what you've been
drilling for all night.

Where were you thinking about?

Was it Insight? Point One Four?

No, Zenobia.

Yeah, Zenobia.

You think you'll be different there?

Fixed?

Working in a simpler, safer way

will allow you to step
back from the edge?

That's for a different session.

Wait. Pull over here.

Kill the lights.

Take me back to the city.

Enter.

- They'll cut your
wrists -

Mr. Martinez.

It's been a long time.

Yes, it has.

I can only assume

you've been a wretched...

...speck of shit.

Red.

Red!

I'm sorry.

Did I not pick up the body language?

- It's been a while.
- No. Fuck!

No.

It's me. I can't.

I, uh...

I didn't get permission.

You didn't get permission from Mrs.
Martinez?

Oh, my God. What are you doing here?

- I don't know.
- Go get permission.

Yeah, it's not so simple.

Does Wendy not role-play anymore?

The workshop went so well.
She was a fucking all-star.

It's like she's...

She's intractable.

And she's so...

So distant.

Chuck...

You guys should go see someone.

You can both come here if you want.

Who the fuck are you?

What the fuck you doing, man?

What the fuck?

Asshole was taking pictures.

Give me that. Give it to me!

You've been following me all night?

Oh, my God. I can't be here.

I gotta go.

Must've been some party.

We didn't go. We made our own.

How are you?

I feel young again. Wanna go to prom?

I know better than to
go with the bad boy.

Do you?

Maybe.

I cry sometimes.

At sentimental things.

Commercials.

And I don't tell you.

Okay.

I'm glad that tonight helped,

but don't ever fucking
do that to me again.

I don't think I will.